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LIBRAEY 

or  THE  i 

'Theological   Seminary, 

PRINCETON,    N.  J. 
Case,       s-^— '^ — - 
Shelf,     I  I  c*J^ 
Book,  No, 


rwrv  \LUy^H. 


^-<_ 


J 


<?*. 


A  BE  LLA     G  RAhl  AM 


■•>w¥op<t. 


THE 


POWER  OF  FAITH 


EXEMPLIFIED    IN 


THE    LIFE   AND    WRITINGS 


OP  THE  LATE 


MRS.  ISABELLA  GRAHAM, 


OP 


NEW-YORK, 


The  fear  of  the  Lord  is  the  instruction  of  wisdom ;  and  before  honour  is 
humility.  The  Lord  will  destroy  the  house  of  the  proud  :  but  he  will  es- 
tablish the  border  of  the  widow.  Prov.  xv.  25.  33. 


NEW-YORK : 


r_<  ■  --  •  •   ■  *  -  *■*+* 


1816. 


BP  if  BBmBmt,0rOfi    -t;    #      »*    .  Southern  District  of  New- York,  ss. 

..    ^-.^        ;.?M'      tk'Jiorif  theLord  it  lot  imlrottionof  nosdoio:  and  br  fore  koMnrit  Am 

Jjl^"'r1l}1  i0Vu  uU  °f  thc  Mfe™'  nf  the  V*M**  Mates,  entitled  "  ^  «d  /"or  the  eneow 
prutors  of  sun  copies,  during  the  time  therein  mentioned  :*'  Jul  aho  to  an  net  entitled  "  An  art 

tsssa  ass*.*  '"'•"" """"/,» ^^^^iSr^^" 

Cteril  of  the  Southern  District  of  New-  York. 


CONTENTS. 

Page 
LIFE  of  Mrs.  Graham        -------  -  9 

Devotional  Exercises  -------  -73 

Provision  for  her  last journey  through  the  Wilderness,  and  passage  over 

Jordan  -------  203 

Poetry 254 

LETTERS. 

To  Mrs.  Grandidier,          ------  271 

Extracts  of  Letters  to  P — ,  chiefly  written  when  she  was  in  affliction  275 

To  Mrs.  G— y 304 

Extracts  from  letters  written  to  Mr.  and  Mrs.  B— ,  while  in  Britain, 

for  the  benefit  of  Mrs.  B's  health,  in  1801  and  1802         -           -  308 

To  the  same  in  New-York              -----  340 

To  Mr.  A.  D— ,  Edinburgh                 -             -             -             -             -  345 

To  Mrs.  O—,  Edinburgh              -             -             -             -             -         -  349 

To  Miss  M— ,             -                           -----  352 

To  Mrs.  Juliet  S— ,  New-York    - 

To  Miss  Van  Wyck,  New-York  -  -  -  - 

To  the  same  _----*- 


368 
369 


377 
381 
383 


To  Mr.  James  Todd,  New-York        -  374 

To  Mrs.  J.  W— ,  -  -  - 

To  Dr.  H.  M— ,  Rothsay,  Bute. 

To  the  same  -,---- 

To  the  same  - 

To  Mrs.  Marshall  -  -  -  -  -  -         -    390 

Letter  from  Viscountess  Glenorchy  to  Mrs.  Graham  -  -       391 

ADDRESSES. 

To  the  Society  for  the  Relief  of  Poor  Widows  with  small  Children* 

April,  1800 395 

To  the  same,  April,  1806  -  -         -  -  -  -  S98 

On  opening  a  School  for  poor  children ;  addressed  to  the  Teachers  who 

volunteered  their  services  -  -  -  -  -     404 

Extract  from  the  concluding  part  of  Mrs.  Graham's  last  Will  and 

Testament        -------  408 

Lines  on  the  decease  of  Mrs.  Graham  -  -  .    -    409 


fjy  The  profits  arising  from  the  sale  of  this  edition  will 
be  equally  divided  between  "the  Society  for  the  support  of 
poor  widows  with  small  children"  and  "  the  Orphan  Asy- 
lum Society" 


LIFE,   Sfc. 


In  writing  the  volumes  of  biography,  so  frequently 
presented  to  the  world,  the  motives  of  their  authors 
have  been  various,  and  the  subjects  diversified. 

Mankind  take  an  interest  in  the  history  of  those, 
who,  like  themselves,  have  encountered  the  trials,  and 
discharged  the  duties,  of  life.  Too  often,  however, 
publicity  is  given  to  the  lives  of  men,  splendid  in  acts 
of  mighty  mischief,  in  whom  the  secret  exercises  of  the 
heart  would  not  bear  a  scrutiny.  The  memoirs  are 
comparatively  few,  of  those  engaged  in  the  humble  and 
useful  walks  of  active  benevolence,  where  the  breath- 
ings of  the  soul  would  display  a  character,  much  to  be 
admired,  and  more  to  be  imitated. 

As  the  celebrated  Dr.  Buchanan  has  observed,  that 
if  you  were  to  ask  certain  persons,  in  christian  coun- 
tries, if  they  had  any  acquaintance  with  the  religious 
world,  they  would  say,  "  they  had  never  heard  there 
teas  such  a  world."  So,  whilst  the  external  conduct 
of  individuals  is  made  the  subject  of  much  critical 
remark,  the  religion  of  the  heart,  the  secret  source 
of  action,  too  frequently  escapes  unnoticed  and  unex- 
plored. 

It  is  only  when  the  career  of  life  is  closed,  that  the 
character  is  completely  established.  On  this  account, 
memoirs  of  the  living  are  in  few  instances  read  with 
much  interest  by  others ;  or  contemplated  without  the 
danger  of  self-deception,  and  too  much  complacency, 
by  the  living  subjects  themselves. 

B 


10  LIFE. 

But  when  the  soul  has  departed,  and  the  body  sleeps 
in  dust,  it  may  prove  useful  to  survivors,  to  examine  the 
principles  which  led  their  departed  friend  to  a  life  oi 
honourable  benevolence,  and  to  a  peaceful  end. 

On  this  account,  and  at  the  urgent  request  of  many 
respectable  characters,  it  has  been  deemed  advisable 
to  publish  some  of  the  writings  of  Mrs.  Isabella  Gra- 
ham, recently  called  away  from  us ;  whose  character 
was  so  esteemed,  and  whose  memory  is  so  venerated 
in  the  city  where  she  dwelt. 

Self  was  so  totally  absent  from  all  her  motives  of 
activity  in  deeds  of  benevolence,  that  she  at  once  com- 
manded love  and  respect ;  and,  m  her  case  peculiarly, 
unalloyed  with  any  risings  of  jealousy,  envy,  or  distrust. 

Blessed  with  a  spirit  of  philanthropy,  with  an  ardent 
and  generous  mind,  a  sound  judgment,  and  an  excess  of 
that  sensibility  which  moulds  the  sod  for  friendship;— 
of  a  cultivated  mind,  and  rich  experience,  her  company 
was  eagerly  sought,  and  highly  valued  by  old  and 
young.  Though  happily  qualified  to  shine  in  the  draw- 
ing-room, her  time  was  seldom  wasted  there  /for  such 
a  disposition  of  it  would  have  been  comparative  waste, 
contrasted  with  her  usual  employments.  Her  steps 
were  never  seen  ascending  the  hill  of  ambition,  nor 
tracing  the  mazes  of  popular  applause.  Where  the 
widow  and  the  orphan  wept,  where  the  sick  and  the 
dying  moaned,  thither  her  footsteps  hastened:  and 
there,  seen  only  by  her  Heavenly  Father,  she  adminis- 
tered to  their  temporal  wants,  breathed  the  voice  of 
consolation  on  their  ear,  shed  the  tears  of  sympathy, 
exhibited  the  truths  of  the  gospel  from  the  sacred  vo- 
I  imc,  aird  poured  out  her  soul  for  them  in  prayer  to 
her  Saviour  and  her  God. 

In  a  few  such  deeds  she  rested  not ;  the  knowledge 


LIFE.  11 

of  them  was  not  obtruded  upon  others,  nor  recorded 
by  herself.  The  recollection  of  past  exertions,  was  lost 
in  her  zeal  to  accomplish  greater  purposes  and  greater 
good ;  her  heart  expanded  with  her  experience,  and 
her  means  were  too  limited,  her  activity  almost  inaction, 
in  the  abounding  desires  of  her  soul  to  alleviate  the  mi- 
series, and  to  increase  the  comforts  of  the  poor,  the 
destitute,  and  afflicted. 

Let  no  one  think  this  picture  the  painting  of  fancy, 
or  the  colouring  of  partial  affection.  It  is  sober  truth ; 
a  real  character. 

To  know  the  latent  springs  of  such  external  excel- 
lence, is  worthy  of  research  ;  they  may  be  all  summed 
up  in  this,  the  Religion  of  the  Heart. 

The  extracts  from  Mrs.  Graham's  letters,  and  from 
her  devotional  exercises,  will  form  the  best  develope- 
ment  of  her  principles ;  and  may,  with  the  blessing  of 
God,  prove  useful  to  those  who  read  them.  In  all  her 
writings  will  be  manifested  the  power  of  faith,  the  effi- 
ciency of  grace ;  and  in  them,  as  in  her  own  uniform 
confession,  Jesus  will  be  magnified,  and  self  will  *be 
humbled. 

In  connexion  with  such  a  publication,  it  is  thought 
that  a  short  sketch  of  her  life  will  prove  acceptable ;  a 
life  chiefly  distinguished  by  her  continual  dependence 
on  God,  and  his  unceasing  faithfulness  and  mercy  to- 
wards her. 

Isabella  Marshall,  (afterwards  Mrs.  Graham,)  was 
born  on  the  29th  of  July,  1742,  in  the  Shire  of  Lanark 
in  Scotland.  Her  Grandfather  was  one  of  the  elders 
who  quitted  the  established  church  with  the  Rev. 
Messrs.  Ralph  and  Ebenezer  Erskine.  She  was  edu- 
cated in  the  principles  of  the  church  of  Scotland.  Her 
father  and  mother  were  both  pious :  indeed  her  mother, 


12  LIFE. 

whose  maiden  name  was  Janet  Hamilton,  appears,  from 
her  letters,  yet  extant,  to  have  possessed  a  mind  of  the 
same  character  as  her  daughter  afterwards  exhibited. 

Isabella  was  trained  to  an  active  life,  as  well  as  fa- 
voured with  a  superior  education.  Her  grandfather, 
whose  dying  bed  she  had  assiduously  attended,  be- 
queathed her  a  legacy  of  some  hundred  pounds.  In. 
the  use  to  which  she  applied  this  money,  the  soundness 
of  her  judgment  thus  early  manifested  itself.  She  re- 
quested it  might  be  appropriated  to  the  purpose  of 
giving  her  a  finished  education.  When  ten  years  of 
age,  she  was  sent  to  a  boarding  school  taught  by  a 
lady  of  distinguished  talents  and  piety.  Often  has 
Mrs.  Graham  repeated  to  her  children  the  maxims  of 
Mrs.  Betty  Morehead.  With  ardent  and  unwearied 
endeavours  to  attain  mental  endowments,  and  especial- 
ly moral  and  religious  knowledge,  she  attended  the  in- 
structions of  Mrs.  Morehead  for  seven  successive  win- 
ters. How  valuable  is  early  instruction  !  with  the 
blessing  of  God,  it  is  probable  that  this  instructress 
h&d  laid  the  foundation  of  the  exertions  and  usefulness 
of  her  pupil  in  after  life.  How  wise  and  how  gracious 
are  the  ways  of  the  Lord!  Knowing  the  path  in 
which  he  was  afterwards  to  lead  Isabella  Marshall,  her 
God  was  pleased  to  provide  her  an  education  of  a  much 
higher  kind  than  was  usual  in  those  days.  'Who  would 
not  trust  that  God  who  alone  can  be  the  guide  of  our 
youth  ? 

Her  father,  John  Marshall,  farmed  a  paternal  estate, 
called  the,  Heads,  near  Hamilton.  This  estate  he  sold, 
and  rented  the  estate  of  Eldersley,  once  the  habitation 
of  Sir  William  Wallace.  There  Isabella  passed -her 
childhood  and  her  youth.  She  had  no  precise  recol- 
lection of  the  period  at  which/  her  heart  first  tasted 


LIFE.  13 

that  the  Lord  teas  gracious.  As  long  as  she  eoukl 
remember,  she  took  delight  in  pouring  out  her  soul  to 
her  God. 

In  the  woods  of  Eldersley  she  selected  a  bush,  to 
which  she  resorted  in  seasons  of  devotion ;  under  this 
bush,  she  was  enabled  to  devote  herself  to  God,  through 
faith  in  her  Redeemer,  before  she  had  attained  to  her 
tenth  year.  To  this  favourite,  and  to  her  sacred 
spot,  she  would  repair,  when  exposed  to  temptation,  or 
perplexed  with  childish  troubles.  From  thence  she 
caused  her  prayers  to  ascend,  and  always  found  peace 
and  consolation. 

Children  cannot  at  too  early  a  period  seek  the  fa- 
vour of  the  God  of  heaven.  How  blessed  to  be  reared 
and  fed  by  his  hand,  taught  by  his  Spirit,  and  strength- 
ened by  his  grace  ! 

The  late  Rev.  Dr.  Witherspoon,  afterwards  Presi- 
dent of  Princeton  college,  was  at  this  time  one  of  the 
ministers  of  the  town  of  Paisley.  Isabella  sat  under 
his  ministry,  and  at  the  age  of  seventeen  she  was  ad- 
mitted by  him  to  the  sacrament  of  the  Lord's  supper. 
In  the  year  1765  she  was  married  to  Dr.  John  Graham, 
then  a  practising  physician  in  Paisley,  a  gentleman  of 
liberal  education,  and  of  respectable  standing. 

About  a  year  after  their  marriage,  Dr.  Graham  was 
ordered  to  join  his  regiment,  the  Royal  Americans, 
then  stationed  in  Canada. 

Before  they  sailed  for  America,  a  plan  had  been  di- 
gested for  their  permanent  residence  in  that  country. 
Dr.  Graham  calculated  on  disposing  of  his  commis- 
sion, and  purchasing  a  tract  of  land  on  the  Mohawk 
river,  to  which  his  father-in-law,  Mr.  Marshall,  and  his 
family,  were  to  follow  him. 

The  regiment  was  quartered  at  Montreal  for  seve- 


14  LIFE. 

ral  months,  and  here  Jessie,  the  eldest  daughter  of  Dr. 
and  Mrs.  Graham,  was  born.  They  afterwards  remov- 
ed to  Fort  Niagara  on  Lake  Ontario,  and  continued  in 
garrison  there  for  four  years ;  here  Joanna  and  Isabella 
Graham  were  born.  Mrs.  Graham  always  considered 
the  time  she  passed  at  Niagara  as  the  happiest  of  her 
days,  considered  in  a  temporal  view.  The  officers  of 
the  regiment  were  amiable  men,  and  attached  to  each 
other.  A  few  of  them  were  married,  and  their  ladies 
were  united  in  the  ties  of  friendship.  The  societ} 
there,  secluded  from  the  world,  exempt  from  the  col- 
lision of  individual  and  separate  interests,  which  often 
create  so  much  discord  in  large  communities;  and 
studious  to  promote  the  happiness  of  each  other, 
enjoyed  that  tranquillity  and  contentment,  which  ever, 
accompany  a  disinterested  interchange  of  friendly  offi- 
ces. This  fort  being  in  a  situation  detached  from  other 
settlements,  the  garrison  were  consequently  deprived 
of  ordinances,  and  the  public  means  of  grace;  the  life 
of  religion  in  the  soul  of  Mrs.  Graham  was  therefore 
at  a  low  ebb.  A  conscientious  observance  cff  the  sab- 
bath, which  throughout  life  she  maintained,  proved  to 
her  at  Niagara  as  a  remembrance  and  revival  of  devo- 
tional exercises.  She  wandered,  on  those  sacred  days, 
into  the  woods  around  Niagara,  searched  her  bible, 
communed  with  her  God,  and  herself,  and  poured  out 
her  soul  in  prayer  to  her  covenant  Lord.  Throughout 
the  week,  the  attention  of  her  friends,  her  domestic 
comfort  and  employments,  and  the  amusements  pursu- 
ed in  the  garrison,  she  used  to  confess,  occupied  too 
much  of  her  time,  and  of  her  affections. 

Here  we  behold  a  little  society  enjoying  .much 
comfort  and  happiness  in  each  other,  yet  falling  short 
of  that  pre-eminent  duty,  and  superior  blessedness  of 


LIFE.  25 

glorifying,  as  they  ought  to  have  done,  the  God  of  hea- 
ven, who  fed  them  by  his  bounty,  and  offered  them  a 
full  and  free  salvation  in  the  gospel  of  his  Son.  No 
enjoyments,  nor  possessions,  however  ample  and  ac- 
ceptable, can  crown  the  soul  with  peace  and  true  feli- 
city, unless  accompanied  with  the  fear  and  favour  of 
Him,  who  can  speak  pardon  to  the  transgressor,  and 
shed  abroad  his  love  in  the  hearts  of  his  children :  thus 
giving  an  earnest  of  spiritual  and  eternal  blessedness, 
along  with  temporal  good. 

The.  commencement  of  the  revolutionary  struggle 
in  America,  rendered  it  necessary,  in  the  estimation  of 
the  British  Government,  to  order  to  another  scene  of 
action,  the  sixtieth  regiment,  composed  in  a  great 
measure  of  Americans. 

Their  destination  was   the  island   of  Antigua ;  Dr. 

Graham,   Mrs.  Graham,    and   their  family,  consisting 

now  of  three  infant  daughters,  and  two  young  Indian 

girls,  crossed  the  woods  from  Niagara  to  Oswegatche, 

and  from  thence  descended  the  Mohawk  in  batteaux 

to   Schenectady.     Here    Dr.   Graham  left  his  family. 

and  went  to  New-York  to  complete  a  negociation  he 

had  entered  into  for  the  sale   of  his    commission,   to 

enable  him  to  settle,  as  he  originally  intended,  on  a 

tract  of  land  which  it  was  in  his  power  to  purchase  on 

the  banks  of  the  river  they  had  just  descended.     The 

gentleman  proposing  to  purchase  his  commission,  not 

being  able  to   perfect  the  arrangement   in   time,  Dr. 

"ham  found  himself  under  the  necessity  of  proceed- 

.o  Antigua  with  the  regiment.     Mrs.  Graham,  on 

/ning  this,  hurried  down  with  her  family  to  accom- 

.ny  him,  although  he  had  left  it  optional  with  her 

>  remain. 

At  New-York  thev  were  treated  with  much  kindness 


16  LIFE. 

by  the  late  Rev.  Dr.  John  Rodgers,  and  others,  espe- 
cially by  the  family  of  Mr.  Vanbrugh  Livingston. 
With  Mr.  Livingston's  daughter,  the  wife  of  Major 
Brown  of  the  sixtieth  regiment,  Mrs.  Graham  formed 
a  very  warm  friendship,  which  continued  during  the 
fife  of  Mrs.  Brown. 

On  their  arrival  in  Antigua,  Mrs.  Graham  was  intro- 
duced to  the  families  of  two  brothers  of  the  name  of 
Gilbert,  gentlemen  of  property,  and  great  piety. 
They  were  connected  with  the  Methodists,  and  by  their 
pious  exertions,  and  exemplary  lives,  with  the  blessing 
of  God,  became  instruments  of  much  good,  to  many 
in  that  island. 

Dr.  and  Mrs.  Graham  participated  largely  in  the 
hospitality  and  friendship  of  many  respectable  families 
at  St.  Johns. 

Dr.  Graham  was  absent  in  St.  Vincents  for  some 
months ;  having  accompanied,  as  surgeon,  a  military 
force,  under  Major  Etherington,  sent  thither  to  quell 
an  insurrection  of  the  Caribeans. 

On  his  return  to  Antigua,  he  found  Mrs'.  Graham 
almost  inconsolable  for  the  loss  of  her  valuable  mother, 
the  tidings  of  whose  death  had  just  reached  her.  He 
roused  her  from  this  state  of  mind  by  saying,  that 
"God  might  perhaps  call  her  to  a  severer' trial,  be- 
taking her  husband  also."  The  warning  appeared  prOr 
phetic.  On  the  17th  November,  1774,  he  was  seized 
with  a  feverish  disorder,  which  did  not  appear  for  the 
first  three  days  to  be  alarming  in  the  estimation  of  at- 
tending ^physicians ;  yet  it  increased  afterwards  with 
such  violence,  as  to  terminate  his  mortal  existence  on 
the  22d.  The  whole  course  of  the  Doctor's,  illness, 
produced  a  most  interesting  scene.  He  calculated  on 
death ;  expressed  his  perfect  resignation  ;  gave  his  tes- 


LIFE.  17 

timony  to  the  emptiness  of  a  world,  in  which  its  inha- 
bitants are  too  much  occupied  in  pursuing  bubbles, 
which  vanish  into  air ;  and  died  in  the  hope  of  faith  in 
that  divine  Redeemer,  ivho  is  able  to  save  to  the  uttermost 
all  that  come  unto  God  by  Him.  At  the  commencement 
of  her  husband's  illness,  Mrs.  Graham  entertained  no 
apprehensions  of  danger  to  his  life.  When  hope  as  to 
continuance  of  temporal  life  was  extinguished,  her 
anxiety  for  his  spiritual  and  eternal  welfare  exercised 
her  whole  soul.  When  he  breathed  his  last,  gratitude 
to  God,  and  joy  at  the  testimony  he  had  given  of  dying 
in  the  faith  of  Jesus,  afforded  a  support  to  her  mind, 
which  the  painful  feelings  of  her  heart  could  not  imme- 
diately shake  :  but  when  the  awful  solemnities  were 
over — earth  to  earth,  dust  to  dust — and  the  spirit  gone 
to  God  who  gave  it — when  all  was  still,  and  she  was  a 
widow  indeed — that  tenderness  of  soul,  and  sympathy  of 
friendship,  for  which  Mrs.  Graham  was  ever  remarka- 
ble, were  brought  into  severe  and  tumultuous  exercise. 
Her  husband,  companion,  protector,  was  gone ;  a  man 
of  superior  mind,  great  taste,  warm  affection,  and  do- 
mestic habits.  She  was  left  with  three  daughters,  the 
eldest  of  whom  was  not  over  five  years  of  age ;  and 
with  the  prospect  of  having  another  child  in  a  few 
months.  Of  temporal  property,  she  possessed  very 
little  :  she  wras  at  a  distance  from  her  father's  house : 
the  widow  and  the  fatherless  were  in  a  foreign  land. 
The  change  in  her  circumstances  was  as  sudden  as 
it  was  great. 

She  had  now  no  sympathizing  heart,  to  receive  and 
return  the  coniidence  of  unbounded  friendship ;  and 
thus,  by  reciprocal  communion,  to  alleviate  the  trials 
and  enrich  the  enjoyments  of  life.  All  the  pleasing 
plans,  all  the  cherished  prospects,  of  future  settlement 

C 


18  LIFE. 

in  life,  were  cut  off  in  a  moment.  Whilst  sinking 
into  a  softened  indifference  to  the  world,  in  the  con- 
templation of  her  severe  loss,  she  was,  on  the  other 
hand,  roused  into  exertion  for  the  sustenance  and  sup- 
port of  her  young  family,  whose  earthly  dependence 
was  now  necessarily  upon  her. 

Not  satisfied  with  the  custom  of  the  island,  in. bury-. 
Incr  so  soon  after  life  is  extinct,  her  uneasiness  became 

o  7 

so  great,  that  her  friends  judged  it  prudent  to  have 
her  husband's  grave  opened,  to  convince  her  that 
no  symptoms  of  returning  life  had  been  exhibited 
there.  The  fidelity  of  her  heart  was  now  as  strongly 
marked  as  her  tenderness.  She  dressed  herself  in 
the  habiliments  of  a  widow,  and  surveying  herself  in 
a  mirror,  determined  never  to  lav  them  aside.  This 
she  strictly  adhered  to,  and  rejected  every  overture, 
afterwards  made  to  her,  of  again  entering  into  the 
married  state.  She  breathed  the  feelings  of  her  heart 
in  a  little  poem,  in  which  she  dedicated  herself  to 
her  God  as  a  widow  indeed. 

On  examining  into  the  state  of  her  husband's  affairs, 
she  discovered  that  there  remained  not  quite  two  hun- 
dred pounds  sterling  iri  his  agent's  hands. 

These  circumstances  afforded  an  opportunity  for  the 
display  of  the  purity  of  Mrs.  Graham's  principles,  and 
her  rigid  adherence  to  the  commandments  of  her  God' 
in  every  situation. 

It  was  proposed  to  her,  and  urged  with  much  argu- 
ment, to  sell  the  two  Indian  girls,  her  late  husband's 
property. 

No  considerations  of  interest,  nor  necessity,  could 
prevail  upon  her  to  make  merchandise  of  her  fellow 
creatures,  the  works  of  her  heavenly  Father's  hand  ; 
immortal  beings.     One  of  these  girls  accompanied  her 


LIFE.  19 

to  Scotland,  where  she  was  married ;  the  other  died  in 
Antigua,  leaving  an  affectionate  testimony  to  the  kind- 
ness of  her  dear  master  and  mistress. 

The  surgeon's  mate  of  the  regiment  was  a  young 
man  whom  Dr.  Graham  had  early  taken  under  his 
patronage.  The  kindness  of  his  patron  had  so  far 
favoured  him  with  a  medical  education,  that  he  was 
enabled  to  succeed  him  as  surgeon  to  the  regiment. 

Notwithstanding  the  slender  finances  of  Mrs.  Gra- 
ham, feeling  for  the  situation  of  Dr.  H — ,  she  present- 
ed to  him  her  husband's  medical  library,  and  his 
sword :  a  rare  instance  of  disinterested  regard  for  the 
welfare  of  another. 

This  was  an  effort  towards  observing  the  second 
table  of  the  law,  in  doing  which  she  was  actuated 
likewise  by  that  principle  which  flows  from  keeping 
the  first  table  also.  Nor  was  the  friendship  of  Dr. 
and  Mrs.  Graham  misplaced.  The  seeds  of  gratitude 
were  sown  in  an  upright  heart.  Dr.  H — ,  from  year 
to  year,  manifested  his  sense  of  obligation,  by  remittino^ 
to  the  widow  such  sums  of  money  as  he  could  afford. 
This  was  a  reciprocity  of  kind  offices,  equally  ho- 
nourable to  the  benefactors,  and  to  him  who  received 
the  benefit :  an  instance,  alas !  too  rarely  met  with  in 
a- selfish  world. 

It  may  here  be  remarked,  in  order  to  show  how 
much  temporal  supplies  are  under  the  direction  of  a 
special  providence,  that  Dr.  H — 's  remittances  and 
friendly  letters  were  occasionally  received  by  Mrs. 
Graham,  until  the  year  1795:  after  this  period  her 
circumstances  were  so  favourably  altered,  as  to  render 
such  aid  unnecessary ;  and  from  that  time,  she  heard  no 
more  from  Dr.  H — ,  neither  could  she  hear  what  be- 
came of  him,  notwithstanding  her  frequent  inquiries. 


20  LIFE. 

It  may  be  profitable  here,  to  look  at  Mrs.  Graham f 
contrasted  with  the  society  in  temporal  prosperity 
around  her.  Many  persons,  then  in  Antigua,  were 
busy  and  successful  in  the  accumulation  of  wealth,  to 
the  exclusion  of  every  thought,  tending  to  holiness, 
to  God,  and  to  heaven.  The  portion  which  they  de- 
sired, they  possessed.  What  then  ?  They  are  since 
gone  to  another  world.  The  magic  of  the  words, 
"  My  property,"  "  an  independent  fortune,"  has  been 
dispelled  ;  and  that  for  which  they  toiled,  and  in  which 
they  gloried,  has  since  passed  into  a  hundred  hands  : 
the  illusion  is  vanished,  and  unless  they  made  their 
peace  with  God  through  the  blood  of  the  cross,  they 
left  this  world,  and  alas  !  found  no  heaven  before  them. 
But  amidst  apparent  affliction  and  outward  distress, 
God  was  preparing  the  heart  of  this  widow,  by  the 
discipline  of  his  covenant,  for  future  usefulness ;  to  be 
a  blessing,  probably,  to  thousands  of  her  race,  and  to 
enter,  finally,  on  that  rest  which  remaineth  for  the  people 
of  God. 

Her  temporal  support,  was  not  in  her  esteem,  "  an 
independent  fortune,"  but  a  life  of  dependence  on  the 
care  of  her  heavenly  Father :  she  had  more  delight  in 
suffering  and  doing  his  will,  than  in  all  riches.  "  The 
secret  of  the  Lord  is  with  those  who  fear  him,  and  he  will 
show  them  his  covenant."  To  those  who' walk  with 
God,  he  will  show  the  way  in  which  they  should  go, 
and  their  experience  will  assure  them  that  he  directs 
their  paths.  u  Bread  shall  be  given  them,  and  their  wa- 
ter shall  be  sure."  »  She  passed  through  many  trials 
of  a  temporal  nature,  but  she  was  comforted  of  her 
God  through  them  all ;  and  at  last  was  put  in  posses- 
sion of  an  eternal  treasure  in  heaven,  where  neither  moth 
?wr  rust -doth  corrupt,  nor  thieves  break  through  and  steal 


LIFE.  21 

May  this  contrast  be  solemnly  examined,  and  the  ex- 
ample of  this  child  of  God  made  a  blessing  to  many ! 

Previously  to  her  confinement,  and  the  birth  of  her 
son,  Mrs.  Graham  set  her  house  in  order,  in  the  proba- 
ble expectation  of  her  decease.  She  wrote  a  letter  to 
her  father  in  Scotland,  commending  her  young  family 
to  his  protection ;  also  a  letter  to  her  friend  Mrs.  G — , 
giving  the  charge  of  her  affairs,  and  of  her  family,  to 
her  and  her  husband  Captain  G — ,  during  their  stay 
in  Antigua. 

In  this  letter  she  expressed  her  full  confidence  in  the 
friendship  of  Mrs.  G — ,  but  at  the  same  time  declared 
her  solicitude  about  her  indifference  to  spiritual  con- 
cerns ;  and  dealt  very  faithfully  with  her  conscience, 
as  to  the  propriety  and  necessity  of  her  being  more 
engaged  to  seek  the  favour  of  God,  through  the  me- 
diation and  atonement  of  the  blessed  Redeemer. 

It  pleased  God,  however,  to  preserve  her  life  at  this 
time ;  and  she  soon  after  dedicated  her  infant  son  to 
her  God  in  baptism :  giving  him  the  name  of  his  fa- 
ther, John. 

Having  now  no  object  to  induce  her  to  stay  longer  at 
Antigua,  she  disposed  of  her  slender  property,  and 
placing  her  money  in  the  hands  of  Major  Brown,  re- 
quested him  to  take  a  passage  for  herself  and  family, 
and  to  lay  in  their  sea-stores. 

Mrs.  Graham,  after  seeing  a  railing  placed  around 
the  grave  of  her  beloved  husband,  that  his  remains 
might  not  be  disturbed  until  mingled  with  their  kind- 
red dust,  bade  adieu  to  her  kind  friends,  and  with  a 
sorrowful  heart,  turned  her  face  towards  her  native 
land.  No  ship  offering  for  Scotland  at  this  time,  she 
embarked  with  her  family  in  one  bound  to  Belfast  in 
Ireland.     Major  Brown  and  his  brother  officers  saw 


22  LIFE. 

her  safely  out  to  sea ;  and  he  gave  her  a  letter  to  £ 
gentleman  in  Belfast,  containing,  as  he  said,  a  bill  for 
the  balance  of  the  money  she  had  deposited  with  him. 
After  a  stormy  and  trying  voyage,  she  arrived  in  safety 
at  her  destined  port.  The  correspondent  in  Ireland 
of  Major  Brown,  delivered  her  a  letter  from  that  offi- 
cer, expressive  of  esteem  and  affection  ;  and  stating, 
that  as  a  proof  of  respect  for  the  memory  of  their 
deceased  friend,  he  and  his  brother  officers  had  taken 
the  liberty  of  defraying  the  expenses  of  her  voyage. 

Consequently,  the  bill  he  had  given  was  for  the  full 
amount  of  her  original  deposit ;  and  thus,  like  the 
brethren  of  Joseph,  she  found  all  her  money  in  the  sack's 
mouth.  Being  a  stranger  in  Ireland,  without  a  friend 
to  look  out  for  a  proper  vessel  in  which  to  embark  for 
Scotland,  she  and  her  children  Went  passengers  in  a 
packet ;  on  board  of  which,  as  she  afterwards  learned, 
there  was  not  even  a  compass.  A  great  storm  arose, 
and  they  were  tossed  to  and  fro  for  nine  hours  in  im- 
minent danger.  The  rudder  and  the  mast  were  car- 
ried away ;  every  thing  on  deck  thrown  overboard ; 
and  at  length  the  vessel  struck  in  the  night  upon  a 
rock,  on  the  coast  of  Ayr,  in  Scotland.  The  greatest 
confusion  pervaded  the  passengers  and  crew.  Amongst 
a  number  of  young  students,  going  to  the  University 
at  Edinburgh,  some  wTere  swearing,  some  praying,  and 
all  were  in  despair.  The  widow  only  remained  com- 
posed. With  her  babe  in  her  arms,  she  hushed  her 
weeping  family,  and  told  them,  that  in  a  few  minutes 
they  should  all  go  to  join  their  father  in  a  better 
world.  The  passengers  wrote  their  names  in  their 
pocket  books,  that  their  bodies  might  be  recognized, 
and  reported  for  the  information  of  their  friends.  One 
voiing  man  came  into  the  cabin,  asking.  "  is  there  any 


LIFE. 


23 


peace  here  ?"  He  was  surprised  to  find  a  female  so 
tranquil ;  a  short  conversation  soon  evinced  that  reli- 
gion was  the  source  of  comfort  and  hope  to  them  both 
in  this  perilous  hour.  He  engaged  in  prayer,  and  then 
read  the  107th  Psalm.  Whilst  repeating  these  words, 
"  he  maketh  the  storm  a  calm,  so  that  the  waves  thereof 
are  still"  the  vessel  swung  off  the  rock,  by  the  rising 
of  the  tide.  She  had  been  dashing  against  it  for  an 
hour  and  a  half,  the  sea  making  a  breach  over  her,  so 
that  the  hold  was  now  nearly  filled  with  water.  To- 
wards morning  the  storm  subsided,  and  the  vessel 
floated  until  she  rested  on  a  sand-bank.  Assistance 
was  afforded  from  the  shore,  and  the  shipwrecked 
company  took  shelter  in  a  small  inn,  where  the  men 
seemed  anxious  to  drown  the  remembrance  of  danger 
in  a  bowl  of  punch.  How  faithful  a  monitor  is  con- 
science !  this  voice  is  listened  to  in  extreme  peril ;  but, 
oh,  infatuated  man !  how  anxious  art  thou  to  stifle  the 
warnings  of  wisdom  in  the  hour  of  prosperity  !  Thou- 
sands of  our  race,  no  doubt,  delay  their  preparation 
for  eternity,  until,  by  sudden  death,  scarce  a  moment 
of  time  is  left  to  perform  this  solemn  work. 

Mrs.  Graham  retired  to  a  private  room,  to  offer  up 
thanksgiving  to  God  for  his  goodness,  and  to  commend 
herself,  and  her  orphans,  to  his  future  care. 

A  gentleman  from  Ayr,  hearing  of  the  shipwreck, 
came  down  to  offer  assistance ;  and  in  him  Mrs.  Gra- 
ham was  happy  enough  to  recognize  an  old  friend. 
This  gentleman  paid  her  and  her  family  much  atten- 
tion, carrying  them  to  his  own  house,  and  treating 
them  with  kindness  and  hospitality. 

In  a  day  or  two  after  this,  she  reached  Cartside,  and 
entered  her  father's  dwelling ;  not  the  large  ancient 
mansion,  in  which  she  had   left  him,  but  a  thatched 


24  LIFE. 

cottage,  consisting  of  three  apartments.  Possessed  of 
a  too  easy  temper,  and  unsuspecting  disposition,  Mr. 
Marshall  had  been  induced  to  become  security  for 
some  of  his  friends,  whose  failure  in  business  had  re- 
duced him  to  poverty.  He  now  acted  as  factor  of  a 
gentleman's  estate  in  this  neighbourhood,  of  whose 
father  he  had  been  the  intimate  friend,  with  a  salary  pf 
twenty  pounds  sterling  per  annum,  and  the  use  of  a 
small  farm. 

In  a  short  time,  however,  his  health  failed  him,  and 
he  was  deprived  of  this  scanty  pittance,  being  incapa- 
ble, as  the  proprietor  was  pleased  to  think,  of  fulfilling 
the  duties  of  factor. 

Alive  to  every  call  of  duty,  Mrs.  Graham  now  con- 
sidered her  father  as  added  with  her  children,  to  the 
number  of  dependents  on  her  industry.  She  proved, 
indeed,  a  good  daughter  ;  faithful,  affectionate,  and 
dutiful,  she  supported  her  father  through  his  declining 
years ;  and  he  died  at  her  house,  during  her  residence 
in  Edinburgh,  surrounded  by  his  daughter  and  hei 
children,  who  tenderly  watched  him  through  his  last 
illness. 

From  Cartside,  she  removed  to  Paisley,  where  she 
taught  a  small  school.  The  slender  profits  of  such  an 
establishment,  with  a  widow's  pension  of  sixteen  pounds 
sterling,  were  the  means  of  subsistence  fof  herself  and 
her  family.  When  she  first  returned  to  Cartside,  a 
few  religious  friends  called  to  welcome  her  home. 
The  gay  and  wealthy  part  of  her  former  acquaint- 
ances, flutterers  who,  like  the  butterfly,  spread  their 
silken  wings  only  to  bask  in  the  warmth  of  a  summer 
sun,  found  not  their  way  to  the  lonely  cottage  of  an 
afflicted  widow.  Her  worth,  although  in  after  life, 
rendered  splendid  by  its  own  fruits,  was  at  this  time 


LIFE.  25 

hidden,  excepting  to  those  whose  reflection  and  wis- 
dom had  taught  them  to  discern  it  more  in  the  faith 
and  submission  of  the  soul,  than  in  the  selfish  and 
extravagant  exhibitions  of  that  wealth,  bestowed  by 
the  bounty  of  providence,  but  expended  too  often  for 
the  purposes  of  vanity  and  dissipation. 

In  such  circumstances,  the  Christian  character  of 
Mrs.  Graham  was  strongly  marked.  Sensible  that 
her  heavenly  Father  saw  it  good,  at  this  time,  to  de- 
press her  outward  condition,  full  of  filial  tenderness, 
and  like  a  real  child  of  God,  resigned  to  whatever 
should  appear  to  be  his  will,  her  conduct  conformed 
to  his  dispensations.  With  a  cheerful  heart,  and  in  the 
hope  of  faith,  she  set  herself  to  walk  down  into  the  val- 
ley of  humiliation,  leaning  upon  Jesus,  as  the  beloved 
of  her  soul.  /  delight  to  do  thy  will,  Oh  my  God,  yea, 
thy  law  is  within  my  heart,  was  the  spontaneous  effu- 
sion of  her  genuine  faith.  She  received,  with  affection, 
the  scriptural  admonition,  Humble  yourselves  therefore 
under  the  mighty]  hand  of  God,  that  he  may  exalt  you  in 
due  time :  casting  cdl  your  care  upon  him  ;  for  he  careth 
for  you. 

She  laid  aside  her  children's  fine  frocks,  and  clothed 
them  in  homespun.  At  Cartside,  she  sold  the  butter 
she  made,  and  her  children  were  fed  on  the  milk.  It 
was  her  wish  to  eat  her  own  bread,  however  coarse, 
and  to  owe  no  person  any  thing  but  love.  At  Paisley, 
for  a  season,  her  breakfast  and  supper  was  porridge, 
and  her  dinner  potatoes  and  salt.  Peace  with  God, 
and  a  contented  mind,  supplied  the  lack  of  earthly 
prosperity,  and  she  adverted  to  this  her  humble  fare. 
to  comfort  the  hearts  of  suffering  sisters,  with  whom 
she  corresponded  at  a  later  period  of  life,  when  in  g 
fortable  circumstances. 

D 


26  LIFE. 

Meantime  the  Lord  was  not  unmindful  of  his  be- 
lieving- child  ;  but  was  preparing  the  minds  of  her 
friends  for  introducing  her  to  a  more  enlarged  sphere 
of  usefulness. 

Her  pious  and  attached  friend,  Mrs.  Major  Brown, 
had  accompanied  her  husband  to  Scotland,  and  they 
now  resided  on  their  estate  in   Ayrshire.     Mr.  Peter 
Reid,  a  kind  friend  when  in  Antigua,  was  now  a  mer- 
chant in  London.       This    gentleman  advised    her   to 
invest  the  little  money   she  had  brought  home,  (and 
which  she  had  still  preserved,)  in  muslins ;  which  she 
could  work  into  finer  articles  of  dress ;  and  he  would 
ship  them  in  a  vessel  of  his  own,  freight  free,  to  be 
sold  in  the  West   Indies.     His  object  was  partly  to 
increase  her   little  capital,  and   partly   to    divert   her 
mind  from  meditating  so  deeply  on  the  loss  of  her  la- 
mented husband.' 

She  shed  so  many  tears  while  at  Cartside,  as  to  in- 
jure her  eye-sight,  and  to  render  the  use  of  spectacles 
necessary  :  she  adopted  his  plan ;  the  muslin  dresses 
'were  shipped;  but  she  soon  afterwards  learned  that 
the  ship  was  captured  by  the'  French.  This  was  a 
severe  blow  to  her  temporal  property,  and  more  deep- 
ly  felt,  as  it  was  received  at  the  time  when  her  father 
was  deprived  of  his  office; 

Mrs.  Brown,  after  consulting  with  the  Rev.  Mr.  Ran- 
dall, of  Glasgow  ;  the  Rev.  Mr.  Ellis,  of  Paisley  ;  lady 
Glenorchy  and  Mrs.  Walker,  of  Edinburgh ;  proposed 
to  Mrs.  Graham  to  take  charge  of  a  boarding  school  in 
the  metropolis. 

The  friends  of  religion  were  of  opinion,  that  such 
an  establishment,  under  the  direction  of  such  a  charac- 
ter as  Mrs.  Graham,  would  be  of  singular  benefit  to 
young  ladies,  destined  for  important  stations  in  society. 


LIFE.  27 

Her  liberal  education,  her  acquaintance  with  life,  and 
her  humble,  yet  ardent  piety,  were  considered  pecu- 
iarly  calculated  to  qualify  her  for  so  important  a  trust. 
Another  friend  had  suggested  to  Mrs.  Graham  the 
propriety  of  opening  a  boarding  house  in  Edinburgh, 
which  he  thought  could,  through  his  influence,  be  easi- 
ly fdied  by  students. 

She  saw  obstacles  to  both;  a  boarding  house  did 
not  appear  suitable,  as  her  daughters  would  not  be  so 
likely  to  have  the  same  advantages  of  education  as  from 
a  boarding  school.  To  engage  as  an  instructress  of 
youth  on  so  large  a  scale,  with  so  many  competitors, 
appeared  for  her,  an  arduous  undertaking. 

In  this  perplexity,  as  in  former  trials,  she  fled  to  her 
unerring  counsellor,  the  Lord,  her  covenant  God.     She 
set  apart  a  day  for  fasting  and  prayer.     She  spread 
her  case  before  the  Lord,  earnestly  beseeching  him  to 
make   his  word   a   light  to  her  feet,  and  a  lamp  to  her 
path  ;  and  to  lead  her  in  the  way  in  which  she  should  go  ; 
especially,   that  she  might  be  directed   to  choose  the 
path,  in  which  she  could  best  promote  his  glory,  and  the 
best  interests  of  herself  and  her  children.     On  search- 
ing the  scriptures,  her  mind  fastened  on  these  words, 
in  John  xxi.  15,  Simon,  son  of  Jonas,  lovest  thou  me 
more  than  these?    He  saith  unto  him,  yea,  Lord;  thou 
know  est  that  I  love  thee  ;  he  said  unto  him,  feed  my  lambs. 
Never,  perhaps,  was  this  commandment  applied  with 
more  energy,  nor  accompanied  with  a  richer  blessing 
since  the  days  of  the  Apostle,  than  in  the  present  in- 
stance. 

Her  determination  was  accordingly  made.  She  re- 
solved to  undertake  the  education  of  youth,  trusting 
that  her  Lord  would  make  her  an  humble  instrument 
to  feed  his  lambs.     Here  was  exhibited  an  instance  of 


28  .     LIFE. 

simple,  jet  powerful  faith  in  a  believer,  surrounded  by 
temporal  perplexities ;  and  of  condescension  and  mercy 
on  the  part  of  a  compassionate  God.  Light,  unseen 
by  mortal  eyes,  descended  on  her  path. 

How  weak,  perhaps  enthusiastic,  would  this  have 
appeared  to  the  busy  crowd,  blind  to  the  special  provi- 
dence exercised  by  the  God  of  heaven  towards  all  his 
creatures. 

When  the  assembled  universe  shall  at  the  great  day 
of  judgment  be  called  around  the  throne  of  the  Judge 
of  the  whole  earth,  such  conduct  will  then  appear  to 
have  been  wise,  judicious,  and  efficient ;  but  to  the  eye 
of  carnal  reason,  absorbed  in  the  devices  and  calcula- 
tions of  worldly  wisdom  to  attain  prosperity,  it  now 
appears  delusive  and  unavailing.  There  are  some 
passages  in  Miss  Hannah  More's  Practical  Piety,  on 
the  sufferings  of  good  men,  peculiarly  applicable  to  the 
faith,  exercises,  and  conduct  of  Mrs.  Graham,  at  this 
season  of  -difficulty  and  deprivation.  She  felt  the  pres- 
sure of  her  affliction  ;  but,  like  the  Psalmist,  she  gave 
herself  unto  prayer,  realizing  in  a  measure  the  poet's 
description: 

"  Prayer  ardent  opens  heav'n,  lets  down  a  stream 
Of  glory  on  the  consecrated  hour 
Of  Man  in  audience  with  the  Deity." 

Although  her  faith  was  strong,  yet  her  mind  was 
under  such  agitation,  from  her  total  want  of  funds  to 
carry  her  plan  into  effect,  and  from  other  conflicting 
exercises,  as  to  throw  her  into  a  nervous  fever,  which 
kept  her  confined  to  her  bed  for  some  weeks.  On  her 
recovery,  she  felt  it  her  duty  to  go  forward,  trusting 
that  He  who  had  directed  her  path,  would  provide  the 
means  that  were  necessary  to  enable  her  to  walk  in  it : 
she   sold   her  heavy  furniture,'  packed  up  all  her  re- 


LIFE.  29 

maining  effects,  and  prepared  to  set  out  from  Paisley 
for  Edinburgh  on  a  Monday,  sometime  in  the  year  1780. 

On  the  Saturday  previous,  she  sat  by  her  fire,  mu- 
sing, and  wondering  in  what  manner  the  Lord  would 
appear  for  her  at  this  time,  when  a  letter  was  brought 
to  her  from  Mr.  Peter  Reid,  enclosing  a  sum  of  money 
which  he  had  recovered  from  the  underwriters,  on  ac- 
count of  Mrs.  Graham's  muslins,  captured  on  their 
passage  to  the  West  Indies.  Mrs.  Graham  had  consi- 
dered them  as  totally  lost,  but  her  friend  had  taken  the 
precaution  to  have  them  insured. 

With  this  supply,  she  was  enabled  to  accomplish 
her  object,  and  arrived  in  Edinburgh  with  her  family. 
Her  friend  Mrs.  Brown  met  her  there,  and  stayed  with 
her  a  few  days,  to  comfort  and  patronize  her  in  her 
new  undertaking.  Mrs.  Brown  was  her  warm  and 
constant  friend,  until  her  death,  which  happened  at 
Paisley  in  1782,  when  she  was  attending  the  commu- 
nion. She  bequeathed  her  daughter  Mary  to  Mrs. 
Graham's  care.  But  in  1785  the  daughter  followed 
the  mother,  being  cut  off  by  a  fever  in  the  twelfth 
year  of  her  age. 

It  may  be  proper  here  to  introduce  the  name  of 
Mr.  George  Anderson,  a  merchant  in  Glasgow,  wh© 
had  been  an  early  and  particular  friend  of  Dr.  Graham. 
He  kindly  offered  his  friendly  services,  and  the  use  of 
his  purse,  to  promote  the  welfare  of  the  bereaved  fa- 
mily of  his  friend.  Mrs.  Graham  occasionally  drew 
upon  both.  The  money  she  borrowed,  she  had  the  sa- 
tisfaction of  repaying  with  interest. 

A  correspondence  was  carried  on  between  them 
after  Mrs.  Graham's  removal  to  America,  until  the 
death  of  Mr.  Anderson  in  1802.  Such  was  the  ac- 
knowledged  integrity  of  this   gentleman,  that  he  was 


30  LIFE. 

very  generally  known  in  Glasgow  by  the  appellation  of 
"  honest  George  Anderson." 

During  her  residence  in  Edinburgh,  she  was  honour- 
ed with  the  friendship  and  counsel  of  many  persons  of 
distinction  and  piety.  The  viscountess  Glenorchy; 
lady  Ross  Baillie  ;  lady  Jane  Belches  ;  Mrs.  Walter 
Scott,  (mother  of  the  poet ;)  Mrs.  Dr.  Davidson;  Mrs. 
Baillie  Walker,  were  amongst  her  warm  personal, 
friends.  The  Rev.  Dr.  Erskine,  and  Dr.  Davidson, 
(formerly  the  Rev.  Mr.  Randall,  of  Glasgow,)  and 
many  respectable  clergymen,  were  also  her  friends. 
She  and  her  family  attended  on  the  ministry  of  Dr.  Da- 
vidson, an  able,  evangelical,  useful  pastor. 

Her  school  soon  became  respectable,  in  numbers  and 
character.      Her   early  and    superior  education  now, 
proved    of  essential    service    to    her.       She   was  in- 
defatigable in  her  attention   to   the   instruction  of  her 
pupils.     While  she  was  faithful  in  giving  them  those 


/ 


accomplishments  which  were  to  qualify  them  for  act- 
ing a  distinguished  part  in  this  world,  she  was  also 
zealous  in  directing  their  attention  to  that  Gospel,  by 
which  they  were  instructed  to  obtain  an  inheritance  in 
the  eternal  world.  She  felt  a  high  responsibility,  and 
took  a  deep  interest  in  their  temporal  and  spiritual 
welfare.  As  a  mother  in  Israel,  she  wished  to  train 
them  up  in  the  ways  of  the  Lord. 

She  prayed  with  them  morning  and  evening,  and  on 
the  sabbath,  which  she  was  careful  to  devote  to  its  pro- 
per use,  she  took  great  pains  to  imbue  their  minds  with 
the  truths  of  religion.  Nor  did  she  labour  in  vain. 
Although  she  was  often  heard  to  lament  of  how  little 
use  she  had  been,  compared  with  her  opportunities  of 
doing  good,  yet  when  her  children,  Mr.  and  Mrs. 
B — ,-  visited   Scotland  in   180 J,  they  heard  of  many 


LIFE.  31 

characters,  then  pious  and  exemplary,  who  dated  their 
first  religious  impressions  from  those  seasons  of  early 
instruction  which  they  enjoyed  under  Mrs.  Graham, 
while  in  Edinburgh. 

Mrs.  Graham's  manner  in  the  management  of  youth, 
was  peculiarly  happy.  Whilst  she  kept  them  diligent 
in  their  studies,  and  strictly  obedient  to  the  laws  she 
had  established,  she  was  endeared  to  them  by  her  ten- 
derness ;  and  the  young  ladies  instructed  in  her  school, 
retained  for  her  in  after  life  a  degree  of  filial  affection, 
which  showed  itself  unequivocally  wherever  opportu- 
nities offered  to  test  it.  This  was  afterwards  remarka- 
bly the  case  with  her  pupils  in  America.  Her  little  re- 
public was  completely  governed  by  a  system  of  equita- 
ble laws.  On  every  alleged  offence,  a  court  martial, 
as  they  termed  it,  was  held,  and  the  accused  tried  by 
her  peers.  There  were  no  arbitrary  punishments,  no 
sallies  of  capricious  passion.  The  laws  were  promul- 
gated, and  must  be  obeyed.  The  sentences  of  the 
courts  martial  were  always  approved,  and  had  a  saluta- 
ry effect.  In  short,  there  was  a  combination  of  authori- 
ty, decision  and  tenderness,  in  Mrs.  Graham's  govern- 
ment, that  rendered  its  subjects  industrious,  intelligent, 
circumspect,  and  happy.  She  enjoyed  their  happiness  ; 
and  in  cases  of  sickness,  she  watched  her  patients  with 
unremitting  solicitude  and  care,  sparing  no  expense  to 
promote  their  restoration  to  health. 

A  strong  trait  in  her  character  was  distinctly  marked 
by  one  rule  she  had  adopted,  viz  :  to  educate  the 
daughters  of  pious  ministers  at  half  price.  This  was 
setting  an  example  worthy  of  imitation.  It  was  a  con- 
duct conformable  to  scriptural  precept.  Said  Paul, 
If  we  have  sown  unto  you  spiritual  things,  is  it  a  great 
thing  if  we  shall  reap  your  carnal  things  ?     Do  ye  not 


32  LIFE. 

know  that  they  which  minister  about  iuoly  things,  live  of 
the  things  of  the  temple  ?  Even  so  hath  the  Lord  ordain- 
ed that  they  which  preach  the  gospel  should  live  by  the 
gospel 

Always  conscientious  in  obeying  the  commandments 
of  her  God,  she  observed  them  in  this  matter,  giving 
in  her  proportion,  at  least  the  widow's  mite. 

By  another  plan  (for  she  was  ingenious  in  contrivan- 
ces to  do  good,)  she  greatly  assisted  those  in  slender 
circumstances,  especially  such  as  were  of  the  house- 
hold of  faith.  Believing  that  the  use  of  sums  of  ten, 
fifteen,  or  twenty  pounds  in  hand,  would  be  serviceable 
by  way  of  capital  to  persons  in  a  moderate  business, 
she  was  in  the  habit  of  making  such  advances,  and 
taking  back  the  value  in  articles  they  had  for  sale. 
She  charged  no  interest,  being  amply  repaid  in  the 
luxury  of  her  own  feelings,  when  she  beheld  the  benefit 
it  produced  to  her  humble  friends.  The  board  of  her 
pupils  being  paid  in  advance,  she  was  enabled  to  adopt 
this  plan  with  more  facility.  Were  her  spirit  more 
prevalent  in  the  world,  what  good  might  be  done! 
the  heart  would  be  expanded,  reciprocal  confidence 
and  affection  cherished  ;  and  instead  of  beholding 
worms  of  the  dust,  fighting  for  particles  of  yellow 
sand,  we  should  behold  a  company  of  affectionate  bre- 
thren, leaning  upon,  and  assisting  each  other  through 
the  wilderness  of  this  world.  Look  not  every  man  on 
his  own  things,  said  Paul,  but  every  man  also  on  the  things 
of  others.  Bear  ye  one  another's  burdens,  and  so  fulfil 
the  law  of  Christ. 

On  the  subject  of  promoting  the  external  accomplish- 
ments of  her  scholars,  it  became  a  question  of  import- 
ance how  far  Mrs.  Graham  was  to  countenance  them 


LIFE.  33 

in  their  attendance  on  public  balls — to  what  length  it 
was  proper  for  her  to  go,  so  as  to  meet  the  received 
opinions  of  the  world  in  these  concerns.  She  consulted 
with  her  pious  friends,  and  wrote  to  lady  Glenorchy  on 
the  subject.  Her  ladyship's  letter  in  reply  is  so  excel- 
lent, that  it  is  given  at  full  length  with  Mrs.  Graham's 
letters,  and  will  consequently  be  found  in  this  publica- 
tion. In  after  life,  Mrs.  Graham  was  of  opinion  that  she 
and  her  scholars  had  gone  too  far  in  conformity  with 
the  opinions  and  manners  of  the  world.  A  reference 
to  this  deviation  from  what  she  considered  a  close 
Christian  walk  in  life,  will  be  frequently  found  in  her 
subsequent  exercises ;  the  tenderness  of  her  own  con- 
sience,  however,  often  made  her  speak  of  her  departure 
from  a  strictly  religious  course,  with  more  severity  than 
it  really  deserved,  considering  the  delicacy  of  her  situa- 
tion, as  instructress  over  the  children  of  parents,  who 
probably  were  averse  from  restraining  their  children 
so  much  in  the  style  of  their  education,  as  might  better 
have  suited  Mrs.  Graham's  views  of  a  Christian's  cir- 
cumspection, and  abstraction  from  worldly  amusements 
and  pursuits. 

It  was  customary  with  lady  Glenorchy  to  remark, 
that  two  of  Mrs.  Graham's  friends  held  a  band  around 
her  waist,  when  she  approached  the  boundaries  be- 
tween religion  and  the  world,  to  prevent  her  from  fall- 
ing over. 

Lady  Glenorchy  being  in  a  delicate  state  of  health, 
made  frequent  use  of  Mrs.  Graham  as  her  almoner  to 
the  poor.  On  one  of  these  visits,  Mrs.  Graham  called 
on  a  poor  woman,  with  a  present  of  a  new  gown. 
"  I  am  obliged  to  you  and  her  ladyship  for  your  kind- 
ness," said  the  poor  woman,  rich  in  faith;  "  but  I  maun 
gang  to  the  right  airth  first,  ye  wad  na  hae  come,  gin 

E 


31  LIFE. 

ye  had  na  been  sent;  the  Lord,  hath  left  me  lately 
wi  but  ae  goon  for  week  day  and  sabbath,  but  now  he 
has  sent  you  wi  a  sabbath  day's  goon."  Meaning  in 
plain  English,  that  her  thankfulness  was  first  due  to  the 
God  of  providence,  who  had  put  it  into  the  hearts  of 
his  children  to  supply  the  wants  of  this  poor  disciple. 

Mrs.  Graham  used  to  repeat  with  pleasure  an,  anec- 
dote of  her  friends  Mr.  and  Mrs.  Douglas.  Mr. 
Douglas  was  a  tallow-chandler^  and  furnished  candles 
for  lady  Glenorchy's  chapel.  The  excise  tax  was  very 
high  on  making  those  articles,  and  many  persons  of 
the  trade  were  accustomed  to  defraud  the  revenue  by 
one  stratagem  or  another.  Religious  principle  would 
not  permit  Mr.  Douglas  to  do  so.  Mrs.  Graham  one 
evening  was  remarking  how  handsomely  the  chapel 
was  lighted.  "  Aye,  Mrs.  Graham,"  said  Mrs.  Doug- 
las, "  and  it  is  all  pure — the  light  is  all  pure,  it  burns 
bright,"  It  would  be  well  if  Christians  of  every  trade 
and  profession  were  to  act  in  like  manner ;  that  the  mer- 
chant should  have  no  hand  in  covering  property,  or 
encouraging  perjury,  to  accumulate  gains  ;  that  the 
man  of  great  wealth  should  have  neither  usury,  nor 
the  shedding  of  blood  by  privateering,  to  corrode  his 
treasures ;  that  all  should  observe  a  just  weight  and  a 
just  measure  in  their  dealings  as  in  the  presence  of  God. 
Let  every  Christian  seek  after  the  consola'tion  of  Mrs. 
Douglas,  that  the  light  which  refreshes  him  may  be 
pure. 

It  being  stated  as  matter  of  regret,  that  poor  people, 
when  sick,  suffered  greatly,  although  while  in  health 
their  daily  labour  supported  them ;  Mrs.  Graham  sug- 
gested the  idea  of  every  poor  person  in  the  neighbour- 
hood laying  aside  one  penny  a  week,  to  form  a  fund  for 
relieving  the  contributors  when  in  sickness.    Mr.  Doug- 


LIFE.  35 

las  undertook  the  formation  of  such  an  Institution.  It 
went  for  a  long  time  under  the  name  of  "  The  Penny 
Society."  It  afterwards  received  a  more  liberal  pa- 
tronage, has  now  a  handsome  capital,  and  is  called 
«  The  Society  for  the  Relief  of  the  Destitute  Sick." 

In  July  1786,  Mrs.  Graham  attended  the  dying  bed 
of  her  friend  and  patroness,  lady  Glenorchy :  this  lady 
had  shown  her  friendship  in  a  variety  of  ways  during 
her  valuable  life ;  she  had  one  of  Mrs.  Graham's  daugh- 
ters for  some  time  in  her  family ;  condescended  herself 
to  instruct  her,  and  sent  her  for  a  year  to  a  French 
boarding  school  in  Rotterdam.  She  defrayed  all  her 
expenses  while  there,  and  furnished  her  with  a  liberal 
supply  of  pocket  money,  that  she  might  not  see  dis- 
tress without  the  power  of  relieving  it.  So  much  does 
a  person's  conduct  in  maturer  years  depend  upon  the 
habits  of  early  life,  that  it  is  wise  to  accustom  young 
people  to  feel  for,  and  to  contribute  in  their  degree  to 
the  relief  of,  the  afflicted  and  the  needy. 

Lady  Glenorchy  was  a  character  in  whom  was  emi- 
nently displayed  the  power  of  religion.  Descended 
from  an  ancient  family,  married  to  the  eldest  son  of  the 
earl  of  Broadalbaine,  beautiful  and  accomplished,  she 
was  received  into  the  first  circles  of  society.  With 
her- husband  she  made  the  tour  of  Europe,  visiting  the 
several  Courts  on  that  Continent.  Yet  all  these  things 
she  counted  but  loss  for  the  excellency  of  the  knowledge  of 
Christ  Jesus  her  Lord.  She  became  a  widow  whilst 
yet  in  the  bloom  of  youth.  She  devoted  herself  to 
the  service  of  the  Lord,  and  was  made  singularly  use- 
ful. She  kept  a  regular  account  of  her  income,  and  of 
the  different  objects  to  which  it  was  applied.  She 
built  and  supported  several  Chapels  in  England  :  and 


36  LIFE. 

erected  one  in  Edinburgh,  in  which  pious  ministers  of 
different  denominations  should  be  admitted  to  preach. 

She  also  built  a  manufactory  for  the  employment  of 
the  poor,  where  the  education  of  children  was  strictly 
attended  to :  even  the  porter's  lodges  on  each  side  of 
her  gate  were  occupied  as  schools  for  the  neighbour- 
ing poor.  Her  pleasure-grounds  were  thrown  open 
for  the  accommodation  of  the  numbers  who  usually 
come  from  a  distance  to  attend  a^communion  season  in 
Scotland.  In  a  year  of  scarcity  the  same  grounds 
were  planted  with  potatoes  for  the  supply  of  the  poor. 
She  distributed  with  great  judgment  various  sums  of 
money  in  aid  of  families  who  were  poor,  yet  deserving. 
She  never  encouraged  idleness  or  pride,  and  often  re- 
marked that  it  was  better  to  assist  people  to  do  well 
in  the  sphere  which  Providence  had  assigned  them, 
than  to  attempt  to  raise  them  beyond  it.  There  was 
so  much  wisdom  in  the  active  application  of  her  bene- 
volent charities,  as  to  render  them  both  efficient  and  ex- 
tensive. She  seldom  was  seen  in  these  works  of  bene* 
•ficence ;  her  object  was  to  do  good :  the  gratitude  of 
those  on  whom  she  bestowed  benefits,  was  no  part  of 
her  motive,  or  even  of  her  calculation.  What  she  did, 
she  did  unto  God,  and  in  obedience  to  his  commands : 
her  faith  and  hope  were  in  God. 

She  contributed  largely  to  the  public  spirited  Insti-" 
tutions  established  at  Edinburgh  in  her  day.  One  or 
two  of  the  most  useful  she  was  the  first  to  suggest  the 
idea  of,  always  accompanying  her  recommendation  with 
a  handsome  donation  in  money  to  encourage  the  work. 

The  venerable  Society  for  the  Promotion  of  Chris- 
tian Knowledge  and  Piety,  shared  largely  her  patron- 
age ;  and,  at  her  death,  she  bequeathed  them  five  thou- 
sand pounds.  .  ' 


LIFE.  37 

She  indulged  the  hope  of  seeing  a  union  of  exer- 
tion amongst  all  Christian  denominations,  for  sending 
the  Gospel  to  the  Heathen.  How  delighted  would 
she  have  been  with  the  Missionary  Societies  of  Lon- 
don and  elsewhere,  had  her  life  been  spared  to  behold 
their  extensive  operations  ! 

She  sold  her  estate  of  Barnton,  that  she  might  ap- 
ply the  money  to  a  more  disinterested  object  than 
her  personal  accommodation,  and  that  her  fortune 
might  be  expended  with  her  life.  "  I  recollect  here," 
said  Saurin  in  one  of  his  sermons,  "  an  epitaph  said  to 
be  engraven  on  the  tomb  of  Atolus  of  Rheims :  17c 
exported  his  fortune  before  him  into  Heaven  by  his  chari- 
ties— he  is  gone  thither  to  enjoy  it" 

This  might  be  truly  said  of  lady  Glenorchy.  In  her 
manners  she  discovered  great  dignity  of  chars 
tempered  with  the  meekness  and  benevolence  oi  i*e 
Gospel.  Her  family  was  arranged  with  much  econo- 
my, and  a  strict  regard  to  moral  and  religious  habits. 
She  usually  supported  some  promising  and  pious  young 
minister  as  her  chaplain,  which  served  him  as  an  intro- 
duction to  respectability  in  the  church.  With  very  few 
exceptions,  all  those  who  entered  her  family  as  ser- 
vants, were  in  the  process  of  time  brought  under  reli- 
gious-impressions.  So  far  it  pleased  the  Lord  to  ho- 
nour her  pious  endeavours  to  render  her  family  one  of 
the  dwellings  of  the  God  of  Jacob. 

She  carried  on  an  extensive  correspondence  with 
the  agents  of  her  charities  in  various  places,  as  well  as 
with  characters  in  the  highest  walks  of  life,  ^he  late 
celebrated  William  Pitt,  whom  she  had  known  when  a 
boy,  was  pleased  with  her  letters,  *and  replied  in  the 
most  respectful  terms  to  the  counsel  which  she  at  times 
had  given  him.  on  the  higher  concerns  of  his  spiritual 
and  eternal  welfare. 


38  LIFE. 

It  is  much  to  be  desired  that  some  suitable  Biogra- 
phical account  of  this  valuable  lady  should  be  prepared 
for  the  benefit  of  the  public,  and  the  gratification  of 
her  numerous  friends. 

Mrs.  Graham  had  the  honour  of  attending  the  death- 
bed, and  of  closing  the  eyes  of  this  distinguished  child 
of  God.  It  had  been  lady  Glenorchy's  express  desire 
that  Mrs.  Graham  should  be  sent  for  to  attend  her  dy- 
ing bed,  if  within  twenty  miles  of  her  when  such  at- 
tendance should  be  necessary. 

When  Dr.  Witherspoon  visited  Scotland  in  the  year 
1785,  he  had  frequent  conversations  with  Mrs.  Graham, 
on  the  subject  of  her  removal  to  America.  She  gave 
him  at  this  time  some  reason  to  calculate  on  her  going 
thither  as  soon  as  her  children  should  have  completed 
the  course  of  education  she  had  proposed  for  them. 

Mrs.  Graham  had  entertained  a  strong  partiality  for 
America  ever  since  her  former  residence  there,  and  had 
indulged  a'  secret  expectation  of  returning  thither. 

It  was  her  opinion,  and  that  of  many  pious  people, 
that  America  was  the  country  where  the  Church  of 
Christ  would  eventually  flourish.  She  was  therefore 
desirous  to  leave  her  offspring  there. 

After  some  correspondence  with  Dr.  Witherspoon, 
and  consultation  with  pious  friends,  she  received  the 
approbation  of  the  latter  to  her  plan.  '  She  had  an 
invitation  from  many  respectable  characters  in  the  city 
of  New-York,  with  assurances  of  patronage  and  sup- 
port. She  arranged  her  affairs  for  quitting  Edinburgh, 
The  Afc-crines  "berno;  then  at  war  with  the  United 
States,  her  friends  insisted  on  her  chartering  a  small 
British  vessel  to  carry  herself  and  family  to  the  port  of 
New-York.  This  increased  her  expenses ;  but  provi- 
dence, in  faithfulness  and  mercv,  sent  her  at  this  time  a 


LIFE.  39 

remittance  from  Dr.  Henderson ;  and  a  legacy  of  two 
hundred  pounds  bequeathed  her  by  lady  Glenorchy  as 
a  mark  of  her  regard,  was  of  great  use  to  her  in  her 
present  circumstances. 

Thus  in  the  month  of  July,  1789,  Mrs.  Graham  once 
more  prepared  to  go  into  a  land  which  the  Lord  seemed 
to  tell  her  of;  and  after  a  pleasant,  though  tedious  voy- 
age, she  landed  in  New-York  on  the  8th  day  of  Sep- 
tember. 

At  New-York  she  and  her  family  were  received 
with  the  greatest  cordiality  and  confidence.  The  late 
Rev.  Dr.  Rodgers  and  Dr.  Mason  were  especially  kind 
to  her.  She  came  eminently  prepared  to  instruct  her 
pupils  in  all  the  higher  branches  of  female  education : 
the  favourable  change  effected  by  her  exertions  in 
this  respect,  was  soon  visible  in  the  minds,  manners, 
and  accomplishments  of  the  young  ladies  committed  to 
her  care.  She  opened  her  school  on  the  5th  of  Octo- 
ber, 1789.  with  five  scholars,  and  before  the  end  of  the 
same  month,  the  number  increased  to  fifty.  She  not 
only  imparted  knowledge  to  her  pupils,  but  also  by 
her  conversation  and  example,  prepared  their  minds  to 
receive  it  in  such  a  manner  as  to  apply  it  to  practical 
advantage.  Whilst  she  taught  them  to  regard  exter- 
nal accomplishments  as  ornaments  to  the  female  cha- 
racter, she  was  careful  to  recommend  the  practice  of 
virtue  as  the  highest  accomplishment  of  all,  and  to  in- 
culcate the  principles  of  religion  as  the  only  solid  foun- 
dation for  morality  and  virtue.  The  annual  examina- 
tions of  her  scholars  were  always  well  attended,  and 
gave  great  satisfaction.  General  Washington,  whilst 
at  New-York,  honoured  her  with  his  patronage.  The 
venerable  and  amiable  Bishop  of  the  Episcopal  church 
in  the  state  of  New-York,  then  the  Rev.  Dr.  Benjamin 


40  LIFE. 

Moore,  never  once  was  absent  from  those  examinations. 
She  was  sensible  of  his  friendship,  and  always  spoke  of 
him  in  terms  of  great  esteem  and  respect. 

She  united  in  communion  with  the  Presbyterian 
Church  under  the  pastoral  care  of  the  late  Rev.  Dr. 
John  Mason.  This  excellent  man  was  her  faithful 
friend,  and  wise  counsellor.  Under  his  ministry  her 
two  daughters,  Joanna  and  Isabella,  joined  the  church 
in  the  year  1791.  Her  eldest  daughter  Jessie,  who 
had  made  a  profession  of  religion  in  Scotland,  was 
married  in  July,  1790,  to  Mr.  Hay  Stevenson,  mer- 
chant of  New-York,  and  she  became  a  member  of  the 
Presbyterian  Church  under  the  care  of  Dr.  Rodgers, 
where  her  husband  attended. 

In  the  year  1791,  her  son,  who  had  been  left  in 
Scotland  to  complete  his  education,  paid  his  mother  a 
visit.  Mrs.  Graham,  considering  herself  as  inadequate 
to  the  proper  management  of  a  boy,  had  at  an  early 
period  of  his  life  sent  her  son  to  the  care  of  a  friend, 
who  had  promised  to  pay  due  attention  to  his  morals 
and  education.  The  boy  had  a  warm  affectionate 
heart,  but  possessed,  at  the  same  time,  a  bold  and  fear- 
less spirit.  Such  a  disposition,  under  proper  manage- 
ment, might  have  been  formed  into  a  noble  character ; 
but  he  was  neglected,  and  left  in  a  great  measure  to 
himself  by  his  first  preceptor. 

For  two  years  of  his  life,  he  was  under  the  care  of 
Mr.  Murray,  teacher  of  an  academy  at  Abercorn.  He 
was  a  man  truly  qualified  for  this  station.  He  instructed 
his  pupils  with  zeal ;  led  even  their  amusements  ;  and. 
to  an  exemplary  piety,  added  the  faithful  counsel  of  a 
friend.  He  loved,  and  was  therefore  beloved.  ■.  Under 
his  superintendence,  John  Graham  improved  rapidly, 
and  gained  the  affections  of  his  teacher  and  companions. 


LIFE.  4j 

Happy  for  him  had  he  continued  in  such  a  suitable 
situation.  He  was  removed  to  Edinburgh  to  receive  a 
more  classical  education.  Being  left  there  by  his  mo- 
ther and  sisters,  the  impetuosity  of  his  temper,  and 
a  propensity  for  a  sea-faring  life,  induced  his  friends  to 
place  him  as  an  apprentice  in  the  merchant-service. 
He  was  shipwrecked  on  the  coast  of  Holland,  and  Mr. 
Gibson  of  Rotterdam,  a  friend  of  Mrs.  Graham,  took 
him  to  his  house,  and  enabled  him  to  come  to  the 
United  States.  He  remained  at  New-York  for  some 
months.  His  mother  deemed  it  his  duty  to  return  to 
Scotland  to  complete  his  time  of  service.  His  incli- 
nation tended  evidently  to  the  profession  of  a  sailor; 
she  therefore  fitted  him  out  handsomely,  and  he  em- 
barked for  Greenock  in  the  same  ship  with  Mr.  John 
M.  Mason,  the  only  son  of  the  late  Dr.  Mason,  who 
went  to  attend  the  theological  lectures  at  the  Divinity 
Hall  in  Edinburgh. 

Mrs.  Graham's  exercises  of  mind  on  parting  with  her 
son,  were  deep  and  affecting.  She  cast  him  upon  the 
covenant  mercy  of  her  God,  placing  a  blank,  as  to  tem- 
poral things,  in  her  Lord's  hand,  but  holding  on  with  a 
fervent  faith  and  hope  to  the  promise  of  spiritual  life, 
Leave  thy  fatherless  children,  I  iVill  preserve  them  alive  : 
and  let  thy  ividows  trust  in  me. 

Three  months  afterwards,  she  learned  that  a  press- 
gang  had  boarded  the  ship  in  which  her  son  had  been, 
and  although  he  was  saved  from  their  grasp  by  a  stra- 
tagem of  the  passengers,  yet  all. his  clothes  were  taken 
away  from  him.  Reflecting  on  this  e\cnU  she  says, 
"  shall  I  withdraw  the  blank  I  have  put  into  the  Re- 
deemer's hands  ?  has  he  not  hitherto  done  all  things 
well?  have  not  my  own  afflictions  been  my  greatest 
blessings  ?    Lord,  I  renew  mv  blank/'     After  under- 

F 


42  LIFE. 

going  many  sufferings,  this  young  man  wrote  to  his 
mother  from  Demerara  in  the  year  1794,  that  he  had 
been  made  a  prisoner ;  had  been  retaken ;  and  then  in- 
tended to  go  to  Europe  with  a  fleet  which  was  soon  to 
sail  under  convoy.  His  letter  was  couched  in  terms 
of  salutary  reflection  on  his  past  life,  and  a  hope  of 
profiting  by  past  experience.  This  was  the  last  ac- 
count which  Mrs.  Graham  had  of  her  afflicted  son. 
All  inquiries  instituted  respecting  him  proved  fruit- 
less, and  she  had  to  exercise  faith  and  submission, 
not  without  hope  towards  God,  that  the  Great 
Redeemer  had  taken  care  of,  and  would  finally  save, 
this  prodigal  son.  She  bad  known  a  case  in  her  fa- 
thers famiry,  which  excited  their  solicitude,  and  en- 
couraged her  hope.  Her  younger  brother,  Archibald 
Marshall,  a  lad  of  high  temper,  though  possessed  of 
an  affectionate  heart,  had  gone  to  sea,  and  was  not 
heard  of  at  all  for  several  years.  A  pious  woman  who 
kept  a  boarding-house  in  Paisley,  found  one  of  her 
boarders  one  day  reading  Doddridge's  Rise  and  Pro- 
gress of  Religion  in  the  Soul  of  Man,  with  Archibald 
Marshall's  name  written  on  the  blank  leaf.  On  inqui- 
ry the  stranger  told  her  he  got  that  book  from  a  young 
man  on  his  death-bed,  as  a  token  of  regard.  That 
young  man  was  Archibald  Marshall — he  was  an  exem- 
plary Christian;  "  and  I  have  reason,"  added  he,  "  to 
bless  God  that  he  ever  was  my  messmate."  The  wo- 
man, who  heard  this  account,  transmitted  it  to  Mr. 
Marshall's  family,  who  were  known  to  her.  Mrs.  Gra- 
ham had  no  such  consolatory  account  afforded  to  her: 
but  under  much  yearning  of  heart,  she  left  this  concern, 
as  well  as  every  other,  to  the  disposal  of  that  God  ivho 
doeth  all  things  well. 

In  the  spring  of  1792,  she  and  her  family  were  call- 


LIFE.  43 

ed  to  a  severe  trial,  by  the  translation  of  their  beloved 
pastor,  Dr.  Mason,  to  a  better  world.  A  few  months 
before  his  decease,  whilst  preaching  to  his  people,  his 
recollection  failed  him,  his  sermon  was  gone  from  his 
mind,  and  he  sat  down  in  his  pulpit  unable  to  pro- 
ceed. After  a  short  pause,  he  arose  and  addressed  his 
people  in  a  pious  and  affectionate  strain ;  he  consider- 
ed this  event  as  a  call  nom  his  heavenly  Master  to  ex- 
pect a  speedy  dismission  from  the  tabernacle  of  clay ; 
and  solemnly  admonished  them  also  to  be  prepared  for 
the  will  of  God.  His  people,  who  loved  him,  were  af- 
fected to  tears.  An  illness  soon  followed,  which  termi- 
nated in  the  death  of  the  body.  He  departed  on  the 
nisfht  when  Mrs.  Graham  took  her  turn  of  watching 
with  him.  He  breathed  his  last  with  his  head  upon  her 
lap.  This  she  always  accounted  a  privilege  and  honour 
bestowed  upon  her  by  her  Divine  Master.  Great  was 
the  grief  of  Dr.  Mason's  congregation  on  his  loss.  In 
him,  to  great  learning  were  united  meekness,  prudence, 
diligence,  and  knowledge  of  the  world,  and  an  affec- 
tionate superintendence  of  the  interests,  spiritual  and 
temporal,  of  his  flock.  He  so  arranged  his  avocations 
and  studies  in  regard  to  time,  that  he  had  always  a  few 
hours  in  the  afternoon  to  devote  to  visiting  the  families 
of  his  congregation.  So  regular  was  the  order  he  ob- 
served in  his  arrangement  of  time,  that  Mrs.  Graham 
and  her  family  knew  when  to  calculate  on  seeing  him, 
and  always  expected  him  with  the  anticipation  of  profit 
and  pleasure.  Once  every  week  they  were  sure  of 
seeing  him,  if  in  health.  His  visits  were  short,  his 
conversation  serious,  awakening,  instructive,  and  affec- 
tionate. He  inquired  about  their  temporal  affairs,  and 
in  cases  of  difficulty,  he  always  gave  them  his  best  ad- 
vice.    His  counsels  were  salutary;  his  knowledge  of 


44  LIFE. 

the  world,  and  his  discrimination  of  characters,  render- 
ed him  well  qualified  to  advise.  In  one  of  his  visits  to 
Mrs.  Graham,  she  mentioned  to  him  the  want  of  good 
servants  as  the  greatest  trial  for  the  time.  "  Mrs.  Gra- 
ham," said  he,  "  have  you  ever  prayed  to  the  Lord  to 
provide  good  servants  for  you?  Nothing  which  interests 
our  comfort  is  too  minute  for  the  care  of  our  Heavenly 
Father 


,  ••> 


To  one  of  her  daughters2  who  felt  a  strong  inclina- 
tion to  profess  her  faith  in  Christ  by  joining  the  com- 
munion of  his  church,  but  yet  was  afraid  that  her  heart 
was  not  sufficiently  engaged  for  the  service  of  God, 
Dr.  Mason  proposed  the  following  question.  "  If,"  said 
he,  "  the  world,  with  all  its  wealth,  pleasures,  and  pow- 
er, were  placed  in  one  scale,  and  Christ  alone  in  the 
other,  which  would  your  heart  freely  choose  as  a  por- 
tion ?"  .  On  her  replying  there  would  be  no  hesitation 
as  to  her  choice  of  Christ,  he  gave  her  encouragement 
to  profess  her  faith,  although  it  might  not  at  present 
amount  to  the  full  assurance  of  hope. 

He  was  indeed  a  faithful  shepherd  of  his  flock  ; 
and  his  people  mourned  for  him  as  for  an  affectionate 
father.  It  is  much  to  be  desired  that  his  example 
were  more  followed  by  Christian  pastors.  To  preach 
with  eloquence  and  acceptance,  is  a  talent  of  great 
value  in  a  minister  of  the  Gospel  :  this  makes  him 
respected :  and  his  congregation  admire  him,  because, 
for  one  reason,  they  are  proud  of  him :  but  to  gain 
their  affections;  to  make  a  congregation  the  children  of 
an  aged  pastor,  of  the  friends  and  brethren  of  a  young- 
er one,  let  the  minister  visit  the  families  of  his  people  : 
this  will  seal  on  their  hearts,  the  regard  which  their  un- 
derstandings had  already  dictated. 

Very  few  ministers  have  been  more  remarkable  for 


LIFE.  45 

a  strict  attention  to  this  duty,  than  the  late  Dr.  John 
Mason,  and  his  venerable  and  attached  friend,  the  late 
Dr.  John  Rodgers.  When  the  former  died,  the  latter 
exclaimed  "  I  feel  as  if  I  had  lost  a  right  arm !"  They 
who  once  laboured  together  to  promote  the  cause  of 
the  Redeemer  on  earth,  are  now  singing  his  praises 
before  the  throne  of  the  Eternal. 

The  congregation,  bereaved  of  their  pastor,  wrote 
immediately  to  his  son,  Mr.  John  Mitchell  Mason,  to 
hasten  his  return  from  Edinburgh  to  New-York. 

After  preaching  to  them  with  great  acceptance  for 
several  months,  he  was  ordained  as  pastor  of  the 
Church,  in  April  1792. 

Mrs.  Graham  entertained  for  him  the  most  affection- 
ate attachment;  and  this  attachment  was  reciprocal. 

Thus  it  pleased  God  to  repair  the  breach  he  had 
made,  and  to  build  up  this  Church  by  the  instrumentali- 
ty of  the  son,  when  he  had  removed  the  father  to  that 
rest  which  remain eth  for  the  people  of  God. 

In  July  1795,  Mrs.  Graham's  second  daughter,  Joan- 
na, was  married  to  Mr.  Divie  Bethune,  merchant  in 
New-York.  In  the  following  month  her  eldest  daugh- 
ter, Mrs.  Stevenson,  was  seized  with  a  fatal  illness.  Of 
a  most  amiable  disposition  and  genuine  piety,  she  view- 
ed the  approach  of  death  with  the  composure  of  a 
Christian  and  the  intrepidity  of  faith. 

She  had  been  in  delicate  health  for  some  years  be- 
fore, and  now  a  complication  of  disorders  denied  all 
hope  of  recovery.  She  sung  a  hymn  of  triumph,  until 
the  struggles  of  death  interrupted  her.  Mrs.  Graham 
displayed  great  firmness  of  mind,  during  the  last  trying- 
scene,  and  when  the  spirit  of  her  daughter  fled,  the 
mother  raised  her  hands,  and  looking  towards  heaven, 
exclaimed,  «  I  wish  you  joy,  my  darling."     She  then 


46  LIFE. 

washed  her  face,  took  some  refreshment,  and  retired  to 
rest. 

Such  was  her  joy  of  faith  at  the  full  salvation  of 
her  child  ;  but  when  the  loss  of  her  company  was  felt, 
the  tenderness  of  a  mother's  heart  afterwards  gave 
vent  to  feelings  of  affectionate  sorrow  :  nature  will 
feel,  even  when  faith  triumphs. 

Mrs.  Graham  made  it  a  rule  to  appropriate  a  tenth 
part  of  her  earnings  to  be  expended  for  pious  and  chari- 
table purposes  :  she  had  taken  a  lease  of  two  lots  of 
ground  on  Greenwich-street  from  the  corporation  of 
Trinity  Church,  with  a  view  of  building  a  house  on 
them  for  her  own  accommodation :  the  building,  how- 
ever, she  never  commenced  :  by  a  sale  which  her  son, 
Mr.  Bethune,  made  of  the  lease  in  1795  for  her,  she  got 
an  advance  of  one  thousand  pounds.  So  large  a  profit- 
was  new  to  her.  "  Quick,  quick,"  said  she,  "  let  me 
appropriate  the  tenth  before  my  heart  grows  hard." 
What  fidelity  in  duty!  what  distrust  of  herself!  Fifty 
pounds  of  this  money  she  sent  to  Mr.  Mason  in  aid  of 
the  funds  he  was  collecting  for  the  establishment  of  a 
Theological  Seminary. 

In  the  year  1797,  a  society  was  instituted  at  New- 
York,  for  the  relief  of  poor  widows  with  small  chil- 
dren; a  society  which  rose  into  great  respectability, 
and  has  been  productive  of  very  beneficent  effects. 
The  Lord,  in  his  merciful  providence,  prepared  this  In- 
stitution, to  grant  relief  to  the  many  bereaved  families, 
who  were  left  widows  and  orphans  by  the  ravages  of: 
the  yellow  fever  in  the  year  1798. 

It  took  its  rise  from  an  apparently  adventitious  cir- 
cumstance. Mr.  B — ,  in  the  year  1796,  was  one  of  the 
distributing  managers  of  the  St.  Andrew's  Societv. 
The  -distribution  of  this  charity  was  of  course  limited 


LIFE.  47 

to  a  certain  description  of  applicants.  Mrs.  B — ,  inter- 
ested for  widows  not  entitled  to  share  in  the  bounty  of 
the  St.  Andrew's  Society,  frequently  collected  small 
sums  for  their  relief.  She  consulted  with  a  few  friends 
on  the  propriety  of  establishing  a  Female  Society  for 
the  relief  of  poor  widows  with  small  children,  without 
limitation.  Invitations,  in  the  form  of  circular  letters, 
were  sent  to  the  ladies  of  New-York ;  and  a  very 
respectable  number  assembled  at  the  house  of  Mrs. 
Graham.  The  proposed  plan  was  approved,  and  a 
society  organized.  Mrs.  Graham  was  elected  first 
Directress,  which  office  she  held  for  ten  years. 

At  the  semi-annual  meeting  in  March  1798,  Mrs. 
Graham  made  a  very  pleasing  report  of  the  proceed- 
ings of  the  Managers,  and  of  the  amount  of  relief  af- 
forded to  the  poor.  The  ladies  of  New-York  render- 
ed themselves  truly  deserving  of  applause  for  their 
zeal  in  this  benevolent  undertaking:. 

In  the  month  of  September  1798,  Mrs.  Graham's 
daughter  Isabella  was  married  to  Mr.  Andrew  Smith, 
merchant,  of  New- York,  (now  of  Richmond,  Virginia.) 
Her  family  being  thus  settled  to  her  satisfaction,  she 
was  prevailed  upon  to  retire  from  business,  and  to  live 
with  her  children. 

Miss  Farquharson,  her  assistant,  to  whom  she  was 
much  attached,  declined  to  succeed  her,  choosing  ra- 
ther to  enjoy  the  society  of  her  patroness  and  friend. 
She  was  a  young  lady  of  genuine  piety  and  worth. 
The  Lord  had  designed  her  for  another  important  sta- 
tion. She  is  now  Mrs.  Loveless,  of  Madras,  the  help- 
meet of  the  London  Society's  excellent  Missionary 
there.  Mrs.  Graham  maintained  a  correspondence 
with  Mrs.  Loveless,  and  always  regarded  her  with 
much  affection. 


|8  LIFE. 

During  the  prevalence  of  the  yellow  fever  in  1798, 
it  was  with  much  difficulty  Mrs.  Graham  was  dissuad- 
ed from  going  into  the  city  to  attend  on  the  sick :  the 
fear  of  involving  her  children  in  the  same  calamity,  in 
the  event  of  her  being  attacked  by  the  fever,  was  the 
chief  reason  of  her  acquiescing  in  their  wish  to  prevent 
so  hazardous  an  undertaking.  During  the  subsequent 
winter,  she  was  indefatigable  in  her  attentions  to  the 
poor :  she  exerted  herself^  to  procure  work  for  her 
widows,  and  occupied  much  of  her  time  in  cutting  it 
out,  and  preparing  it  for  them.  The  managers  of  the 
Widow's  Society  had  each  their  separate  districts ;  and 
Mrs.  Graham,  as  first  Directress,  had  a  general  super- 
intendence of  the  whole.  She  was  so  happy  in  the 
execution  of  her  trust,  as  to  acquire  the  respect  and 
confidence  of  the  ladies  who  acted  with  her,  as  well 
as  the. affections  of  the  poor. 

Her  whole  time  was  now  at  her  command,  and  she 
devoted  it  very  faithfully  to  promote  the  benevolent 
object  of  the  Institution  over  which  she  presided.  The 
extent  of  her  exertions,  however,  became  known,  not. 
from  the  information  given  by  herself,  but  from  the  ob- 
servations of  her  fellow  labourers,  and  especially  from 
the  testimony  of  the  poor  themselves. 

In  the  summer  of  1 800,  she  paid  a  visit  to  her  friends 
in  Boston.  When  she  had  been  absent  for  some  weeks, 
her  daughter,  Mrs.  B —  was  surprised  at  the  fre- 
quent inquiries  made  after  her,  by  persons  with  whom 
she  was  unacquainted  :  at  length  she  asked  some  of 
those  inquirers  what  they  knew  about  Mrs.  Graham  ? 
They  replied,  "  we  live  in  the  suburbs  of  the  city, 
where  she  used  to  visit,  relieve,  and  comfort  the-  poor. 
We  had  missed  her  so  long  that  we  were  afraid  she 
had  been  sick :  when  she  walked  in  our  streets,  it  was 


LIFE.  49 

customary  with  us  to  come  to  the  door  and  bless  lieu 
as  she  passed." 

Until  January  Io03,  she  lived  alternately  with  her 
children,  Mrs.  Bethune  and  Mrs.  Smith;  at  this  period 
Mr.  Smith  having  removed  from  New-York,  Mrs.  Gra- 
ham  resided  with  Mr.  and  Mrs.  Bethune,  until  her  de- 
parture to  a  better  world.  They  loved  her,  not  only 
from  natural  affection,  but  for  her  superior  worth; 
they  valued  her,  for  they  believed  that  many  blessings 
were  vouchsafed  to  them  and  their  family  in  answer  to 
her  prayers. 

The  Society  for  the  relief  of  poor  widows  with  small 
children  having  received  a  charter  of  incorporation,  and 
some  pecuniary  aid  from  the  Legislature  of  the  state, 
the  ladies  who  constituted  the  Board  of  Direction, 
were  engaged  in  plans  for  extending  their  usefulness  : 
Mrs.  Graham  took  an  active  part  in  executing  these 
plans.  The  society  purchased  a  small  house,  where 
they  received  work  of  various  kinds,  for  the  employ- 
ment of  their  widows.  They  opened  a  school  for  the 
instruction  of  their  orphans,  and  many  of  Mrs.  Gra- 
ham's former  pupils  volunteered  their  services,  taking 
upon  themselves  by  rotation,  the  part  of  instructers. 
Besides  establishing  this  School,  Mrs.  Graham  selected 
some,  of  the  widows,  best  qualified  for  the  task,  and 
engaged  them  for  a  small  compensation,  to  open  day 
schools  for  the  instruction  of  the  children  of  widows, 
in  distant  parts  of  the  city:  she  also  established  two 
Sabbath  Schools,  one  of  which  she  superintended  her- 
self, and  the  other  she  placed  under  the  care  of  her 
daughter.  Wherever  she  met  with  Christians  sick  and 
in  poverty,  she  visited  and  comforted  them;  and  in 
some  instances  opened  small  subscription  lists  to  pro- 
vide for  their  support. 

G 


50  LIFE. 

She  attended  occasionally  for  some  years  at  the  Aim* 
House  for  the  instruction  of  the  children  there,  in  reli- 
gious knowledge  :  in  this  work  she  was  much  assisted 
by  a  humble  and  pious  female  friend,  who  was  seldom 
absent  from  it  on  the  Lord's  day.  In  short,  her  whole 
time  was  occupied  in  searching  out  the  distresses  of 
the  poor,  and  devising  measures  to  comfort  and  esta- 
blish them  to  the  extent  of  her  influence  and  means. 
At  the  same  time,  far  from  arrogating  any  merit  to 
herself,  she  seemed  always  to  feel  how  much  she  was 
deficient  in  following  fully  the  precepts,  and  the  foot- 
steps of  her  beloved  Lord  and  Saviour,  who  went  about 
doing  good. 

It  was  often  her  custom  to  leave  home  after  break- 
fast, to  take  with  her  a  few  rolls  of  bread,  and  return 
in  the  evening  about  eight  o'clock.  Her  only  dinner 
on  such  days  was  her  bread,  and  perhaps  some  soup  at 
the  Soup  House  established  by  the  Humane  Society 
for  the  poor,  over  which  one  of  her  widows  had  been, 
at  her  recommendation,  appointed.  She  and  her  vene- 
rable companion,  Mrs.  Sarah  Hoffman,  second  Direc- 
tress of  the  Widow's  Society^  travelled  many  a  day  and 
many  a  step  together  in  the  walks  of  charity.  Mrs. 
Graham  was  a  Presbyterian,  Mrs.  Hoffman  an  Epis- 
copalian. Those  barriers,  of  which  such  a  thunder- 
ing use  has  been  made  by  sectarians  to  separate  *the 
children  of  God,  fell  down  between  these  -two  friends 
at  the  cry  of  affliction,  and  were  consumed  on  the  altar 
of  Christian  love.  Arm  in  arm, .  and  heart  to  heart, 
they  visited  the 'abodes  of  distress,  dispensing  temporal 
did  from  the  purse  of  charity,  and  spiritual  comfort 
from  the  word  of  life.  One  has  already  entered  into 
rest ;  the  other  must  shortly  follow.  Amidst  many 
comforts,  and  many  afflictions;  the  life  of  Mrs.  Hoffman 


LIFE.  51 

has  been  a  life  of  faith  and  resignation  ;  her  end  will 
be  peace  ;  and  then  she  will  join  her  beloved  and  at- 
tached friend,  in  singing  the  praises  of  that  Divine  Pte- 
deemer,  whose  footsteps  on  earth,  they  humbly  endea- 
voured in  his  strength  to  follow.  Blessed  are  the  dead 
which  die  in  the  Lord ;  yea  saiih  the  Spirit,  for  they  rest 
from  their  labours,  and  their  works  do  follow  them. 

At  each  annual  meeting,  Mrs.  Graham  usuallv  made 
an  address  to  the  Society,  with  a  report  of  the  pro^ 
ceedings  of  the  managers,  through  the  preceding 
year.  In  April  1800,  she  stated  that  "  again  the  pes- 
44  tilence  had  evacuated  the  city ;  again  every  source  of 
44  industry  was  dried  up;  even  the  streams  of  benevo- 
**  lence  from  the  country  failed.  Those  storehouses 
"  from  which  relief  was  issued  to  thousands  in  former 
4fi  calamities,  now  disappointed  their  hopes,  and  those 
"  spared  by  the  pestilence,  were  ready  to  perish  by  the 
*4  famine.     Such  widows  as  had  no  friends  in  the  coun- 

-  try  under  whose  roof  they  might  for  a  time  seek 
"  shelter,  were  shut  up  to  the  only  relief  within  their 
44  power,  even  to  that  Society  which  had  formerly  saved 
*4  them  in  many  a  strait.  They  came,  were  received 
•*  with  tenderness,  assisted  with  food,  advice,  and  me- 
M  dicine.  Four  of  the  society's  board,  at  the  risk  of 
"  their  lives,  remained  in  the  city,  steady  in  the  exer- 
"Jcise  of  their  office.  One  hundred  and  forty-two 
"  widows,  with  four  hundred  and  six  children,  under 
••  twelve  years  of  age,  by  far  the  greater  part  under 
••  six,  have  from  time  to  time,  during  the  winter,  been 

-  vi-ited  and  relieved.  Widow  is  a  word  of  sor- 
44  row  in  the  best  of  circumstances ;  but  a  widow  left 
w  poor,  destitute,  friendless,  surrounded  with  a  number 
"  of   small   children,    shivering   with  cold,    pale  with 

want,  looking  in   her  face  with  eyes  pleading  for 


52  LIFE. 

"  bread  which  she  has  not  to  give,  nor  any  probable 
;i  prospect  of  procuring :  her  situation  is  neither  to  be 
"  described,  nor  conceived.  Many  such  scenes  were 
"  witnessed  during  the  last  winter ;  and  though  none 
i;  could  restore  the  father,  and  the  husband,  the  hearts 
;;  of  the  mourners  were  soothed  by  the  managers  : 
;i  whilst  they  dispensed  the  relief  provided  for  them  by. 
•;  their  Father,  and  their  Husband,  God." 

In  her  addres  for  the  year.l  804,  she  says,  "  In  April 
•;  last,  it  was  reported  that  there  were  on  the  mana- 
•;  gers'  books  two  hundred  and  one  widows  with  nume- 
"  rous  families  of  small  children.  Of  this  number,  five 
*;  had  been  ill  all  winter,  several  had  had  severe  fits  of 
"  illness,  and  forty-six  were  women  of  broken  constitu- 
"  tions ;  who,  could  it  be  afforded,  would  require  as- 
;i  sistance  all  summer.  At  the  last  anniversary,  we 
i4  reported  that  Mrs.  Hoffman  and  myself  had  visited 
44  twenty-seven  new-made  widows ;  previous  to  the 
u  meeting,  young,  healthy,  nice  women.  Of  these  wo- 
•;  men,  few  had  been  accustomed  to  do  more  than 
i;  make,  mend,  wash,  and  cook  for  their  husbands  and 
•'  families.  Oh,  how  changed  the  scene J  Ye  bless- 
"  ed  agents  of  their  Father,  God  ;  ye  managers,  who 
w  have  supplied  their  wants,  and  soothed  their  spirits, 
"  ye  can  tell — and  their  pale  visages  and  dejected 
;i  countenances  witness  to  the  truth  of  your  report. 
•;  That  such  evils  exist,  is  painful  to  humanity;  but 
"  since  they  do  exist,  can  there  be  a  more  delicate 
"  pleasure  than  to  be  instrumental  in  alleviating  them  ? 
"  Seven  years  has' this  Society  been  the  darling  of  Pro- 
"  vidence.  From  a  feeble  plant,  it  is  become  a  large 
"  tree  with  spreading  branches,  under  which  many  find 
i;  shelter  and  sustenance." 


LIFE,  5j 

The  winter  of  .1804 — 5,  was  unusually  severe:  the 
river  Hudson  was  shut  by  frost  as  early  as  November : 
fuel  was  consequently  scarce  and  dear ;  and  the  poor 
suffered  greatly.  Mrs.  Graham  visited  those  parts  of 
the  city  where  the  poorer  class  of  sufferers  dwelt*  ; 
in  upwards  of  two  hundred  families,  she  either 
found  a  bible  their  property,  or  gave  them  one  ; 
praying  with  them  in  their  affliction.  She  requested 
a  friend  to  write,  first  one  Religious  Tract,  and  then 
another,  suited  to  the  peculiar  situation  of  those 
afflicted  people.  One  was  called  "  A  Donation  to 
Poor  Widows  with  Small  Children,"  the  other,  "  A 
Second  Visit  to  Poor  Widows  with  Small  Children." 
And  lest  it  might  be  said,  it  was  cheap  to  give  advice, 
she  usually  gave  a  small  sum  of  money  along  with  the 


*  The  following  notice  of  these  scenes  appeared  in  one  of  the 
periodical  publications  of  the  day. 

WHEN"  sorrow  shrunk  before  the  piercing  wind, 
And  famine,  shelterless,  in  suffering  pin'd  ; 
When  sickness  droop'd  in  solitary  pain, 
Mid  varying  misery's  relentless  reign  ; 
Oh  then,  tumultuous  rose  the  plaints  of  grief, 
And  loud  and  strong  the  clamours  for  relief ! 
Then  active  charity  with  bounteous  care, 
From  gloomy  faces  chas'd  the  fiend,  Despair  ; 
Dispelled  the  horrors  of  the  wintry  day, 
And  none  that  ask'd  went  unreliev'd  away* 

Yet  there  are  some,  who  sorrow's  vigils  keep, 
Unknown  that  languish — undistinguish'd  weep  ! 
Behold  yon  ruin'd  building's  shattered  walls, 
Where  drifting  snow  through  many. a  crevice  fulls  ; 
Wrhose  smokeless  vent  no  blazing  fuel  knows — 
But  drear,  and  cold,  the  -widows  mansion  shows. 
Her  fragile  form,  by  sickness  deeply  riven, 
Too  weak  to  face  the  driving  blasts  of  heaven, 
Her  voice  too  faint  to  reach  some  pitying  ear, 
Her  shivering  bahes  command  her  anguish'd  tear  , 


54  LIFE. 

tracts  she  distributed.  There  was  at  this  time  neither 
a  Bible  nor  Tract  Society  in  New-York.  Mrs.  Hoffman 
accompanied  her  in  many  of  her  excursions.  In  the 
course  of  their  visits,  they  discovered  a  French  family 
from  St.  Domingo  in  such  extremity  of  distress,  as 
made  them  judge  it  necessary  to. report  their  case  to 
the  Honourable  Dewitt  Clinton,  then  mayor  of  the  city. 
The  situation  of  this  family  being  made  public,  three 
hundred  dollars  were  voluntarily  contributed  for  their 
relief.  Roused  by  this  incident,  a  public  meeting  was 
called  at  the  Tontine  Coffee  House,  and  committees 
from  the  different  wards  were  appointed  to  aid  the  Cor- 
poration, in  ascertaining  and  supplying  the  immediate 
wants  of  the  suffering  poor.  The  zeal  of  Mrs.  Graham 
and  Mrs.  Hoffman  paved  the  way  for  this  public-spirit- 
ed exertion,  which,  probably,  was  the  means  of  saving 
the  lives  of  some  of  the  destitute  and  friendless. 


Their  feeble  cries,  in  vain  assistance  crave, 
And  expectation  '  points  but  to — the  grave.' 

But  lo,  with  hasty  step,  a  female  form  t 

Glides  through,  the  wind,  and  braves  the  chilling  storm, 
With  eager  hand  now  shakes' th'  tottering  door, 
Now  rushes  breathless  o'er  the  snow-clad  floor. 
Her  tongue  soft  comfort  to  the  mourner  speaks, 
Her  silver  voice  with  soft  emotion  breaks  ; 
Wound  the  drear  hovel  roves  her  moistened  eye*       ' 
Her  graceful  bosom  heaves  the  lengthened  s'gh. 

I  know  thle  now — I  know  that  angel  frame— 
O  that  the  muse  might  dare  to  breathe  thy  name  !• 
Nor  thine  alone,  but  all  that  sister-band, 
Who  scatter  gladness  o'er  a  weeping  land  : 
Who  comfort  to  the  infant  sufferer  bring, 
„     And  '  teach  with  joy  the  -widow's  heart  to  sing.' 

For  this  no  noisy  honours  fame  shall  give — 
In  your  own  breasts  your  gentle  virtues  live  : 
No  sounding  numbers  shall  your  names  reveal, 
But  your  own  hearts  the  rich  reward  shall  feel. 

ALBERT, 


LIFE.  55 

In  the  month  of  August  180f>,  Mrs.  Graham  paid 
another  visit  to  her  friends  in  Boston,  and  spoke  of 
them  with  much  affection  and  esteem.  She  used  to 
mention  with  peculiar  approbation,  a  Society  of  pious 
ladies  there,  who  met  once  in  every  week,  for  prayer 
and  mutual  edification. 

On  the  15th  of  March,  1806,  the  female  subscribers 
to  proposals  for  providing  an  Asylum  for  orphan  chil- 
dren, met  at  the  City  Hotel ;  Mrs.  Graham  was  called 
to  the  chair,  a  Society  organized,  and  a  Board  of  Di- 
rection chosen.  Mrs.  Hoffman  was  elected  the  First 
Directress  of  the  Orphan  Asylum  Society.  Mrs.  Gra- 
ham continued  in  the  office  of  First  Directress  of  the 
Widow's  Society,  but  took  a  deep  interest  in  the  suc- 
cess of  the  Orphan  Asylum  Society  also :  she  or  one 
of  her  family,  taught  the  orphans  daily,  until  the  funds 
of  the  Institution  were  sufficient  to  provide  a  teacher 
and  superintendent.  She  was  a  trustee  at  the  time  of 
her  decease.  The  wish  to  establish  this  new  Society, 
was  occasioned  by  the  pain  which  it  gave  the  ladies  of 
the  Widow's  Society,  to  behold  a  family  of  orphans, 
driven,  on  the  decease  of  a  widow,  to  seek  refuge  in 
the  Alms  House;  no  melting  heart  to  feel,  no  redeeming 
hand  to  rescue  them  from  a  situation  so  unpromising 
for -mental  and  moral  improvement. 

"  Amongst  the  afflicted  of  our  suffering  race,"  thus 
speaks  the  Constitution  of  the  Society,  "  none  makes 
a  stronger  or  more  impressive  appeal  to  humanity, 
than  the  destitute  orphan.  Crime  has  not  been  the 
cause  of  its  misery,  and  future  usefulness  may  yet  be 
the  result  of  its  protection;  the  reverse  is  often  the 
case  of  more  aged  objects.  God  himself  has  marked 
the  fatherless  as  the  peculiar  subjects  of  his  divine 
compassion.     A  Father  of  the  fatherless,  is  God  in  his 


56  LIFE. 

holy  habitation.  When  my  father  and  my  mother  forsake 
?ne,  then  the  Lord  will  take  me  up.  To  be  the  blessed 
instrument  of  Divine  Providence  in  making  good  the 
promise  of  God,  is  a  privilege  equally  desirable,  and 
honourable  to  the  benevolent  heart." 

And  truly  God  has  made  good  his  promise  towards 
this  benevolent  Institution.  He  has  crowned  the  un- 
dertaking with  his  remarkable  blessing.  It  was  beguri 
by  his  disciples  in  faith,  and  he  has  acknowledged 
them  in  it.  Having  for  fourteen  months  occupied  a 
hired  house  for  an  Asylum,  the  ladies  entertained  the 
bold  idea  of  building  an  Asylum  on  account  of  the 
Society.  They  had  then  about  three  hundred  and 
fifty  dollars,  as  the  commencement  of  a  fund  for  the 
building :  they  purchased  four  lots  of  ground  in  the 
village  of  Greenwich,  on  a  healthful  elevated  scite, 
possessing  a  fine  prospect.  The  corner  stone  was  laid 
on  the  7th  of  July,  1807.  They  erected  a  building 
fifty  feet  square,  planned  for  the  accommodation  of 
two  hundred  orphans.  From  time  to  time  they  pro- 
ceeded to  finish  the  interior  of  the  building,  and  to  pur- 
chase additional  ground,  as  their  funds  would  permit  ; 
and  such  has  been  the  liberality  of  the  Legislature  and 
of  the  public,  that  the  Society  now  possess  a  handsome, 
building,  and  nearly  an  acre  of  ground,  all  of  which, 
must  have  cost  them  little  short  of  twenty-five  thou- 
sand dollars.  This  property  is  clear,  the  last  shilling 
due  upon  it  having  been  lately  paid  off.  Their  suc- 
cess furnishes  strong  encouragement  to  attempt  great 
and  good  objectsv  even  with  slender  means.  God  in 
his  providence  will  command  a  blessing  on  exertions  pf 
this  character.  It  is  too  common  a  mistake,  and  one 
fatal  to  the  progress  of  improvement,  that  great  means 
should  be  in  actual   possession,  before   great  object- 


LIFE.  .     57 

should  be  attempted.     Ah,  were  our  dependence  sim- 
ply on  apparent  instruments,  how  small  must  be  our 
hopes  of  success  !    There  is  a  mystery,  yet  a  certainty, 
in  the  manner  by  which  God  is  pleased  in  his  provi- 
dence to  conduct  feeble  means  to  a  happy  conclusion. 
Has  he  not  preserved,  cherished,  and  blessed  his  church 
through  many  ages,  amidst  overwhelming  persecutions, 
and  that  often  by  means  apparently  inadequate  to  this 
end  ?  We  must  work  for,  as  well  as  pray  for,  the  bless- 
ings which  God  has  promised  to  bestow  on  our  sinful 
race.     We  must  put  our  shoulder  to  the  wheel,  whilst 
we  look  up  to  heaven  for  assistance,  and  God  will  al- 
ways bless  those  who  are  found  in  the  path  of  duty. 
The  Orphan  Asylum  Society  is  a  striking  proof  of  this  : 
they  have  now  one  hundred  orphans  under  their  care, 
and  have  placed   more  than  one  hundred  children  in 
eligible  situations,  after  educating  them  ;  many  of  the 
latter  promise   to  be   useful  to  society.     If  a  child  be 
fatherless,  motherless,  and  of  legitimate  birth,  it  is  wel- 
come to  their  Asylum.     The  children  are  clothed,  fed, 
instructed.      There  is  a  well-regulated  school  on  the 
Lancasterian  plan,  in  a  room  Mtj  feet  long,  within  the 
building :  there  are  excellent  printed  regulations  esta- 
blished for  the  management  of  the  orphans. :  they  en- 
joy religious  instruction,  and  are  under  the  care  of  a 
man  and  his  wife,  both  pious  characters  :  the  latter  are 
superintendents  under  the  direction  of  the  Board  of 
ladies,  one  of  whom  is  appointed  a  weekly  visiter  at 
each  monthly  meeting  of  the  trustees. 

Only  one  death  has  occurred  amongst  the  orphans, 
since  the  commencement  of  the  Institution,  excepting 
in  cases  where  they  came  into  the  Asylum  sick;  and 
of  such  there  have  been  but  few.  The  ladies  have 

set  no  limits  to  the  number  to  be  received  :  and  it  h£6 

H 


58  LIFE. 

pleased  God  also  not  to  set  limits  to  the  means  neces- 
sary ibr  their  support.  The  Institution  is  a  great 
favourite  with  the  public,  and  is  usually  visited  by 
strangers,  who  are  delighted  with  the  cleanliness, 
health,  and  cheerful  countenances  of  the  orphans. 

The  Society  have  received  a  charter  of  incorpora- 
tion from  the  Legislature  ;  they  have  a  handsome  seal, 
with  this  inscription  :    in  as  much  as  ye  have  done  it 

UNTO  ONE  OF  THE  LEAST  OF  THESE,  YE  HAVE  DONE  IT 
UNTO  ME. 

For  several  years  it  was  customary  with  Mrs.  Gra- 
ham to  visit  the  Hospital.  Before  the  erection  of  the 
very  valuable  wing  of  that  edifice  adapted  to  the  re- 
ception of  deranged  persons,  and  now  called  "  the 
Lunatic  Asylum,"  she  paid  a  particular  attention  to 
patients  of  this  description. 

One .  instance  is  fresh  in  the  recollection  of  the 
writer  ,of  this  sketch.  A  French  gentleman  of  fortune 
in  St.  Domingo,  through  the  fidelity  of  one  of  his  slaves, 
escaped  the  general  massacre  of  the  white  people  in 
his  neighbourhood  by  the  blacks  in  1793.  'Warned 
by  this  faithful  informer,  he  fled  with  his  mother, 
sister,  and  younger  brother,  on  board  of  a  French 
vessel,  whilst  they  were  pursued  to  the  beach.  They 
had  saved  and  carried  with  them  some  of  their  jewels ; 
but  on  their  voyage  the  vessel  was  captured  by  a  Brir 
tish  Privateer,  and  carried  to  Bermuda.  From  thence 
they  sailed  in  an  American  vessel  for  New-York ;  but 
on  their  passage  they  were  plundered  by  a  French 
Privateer.  From  these  cruel  depredations  they  saved 
but  a  slender  amount  of  property  for  their  support  in 
a  strange  land.  This  gentleman  now  improved  -those 
accomplishments  which  his  education  had  bestowed, 
as  means  of  providing  a  subsistence  for  himself  and 


LIFE.  59 

his  dependent  relatives.  He  became  a  teacher  of 
dancing.  In  the  year  1797  he  returned  to  St.  Domingo, 
and  received  a  commission  in  the  British  army,  then 
masters  of  the  place.  Having  recovered  a  part  of  his 
property,  he  sold  his  commission,  and  prepared  to  re- 
turn to  New- York,  with  a  prospect  of  rendering  his 
family  comfortable.  On  the  day  previous  to  embark- 
ing, he  fell  among  thieves,  and  received  a  wound  which 
no  Samaritan  could  cure.  A  set  of  gamblers  robbed 
him,  by  card-playing,  of  all  the  money  in  his  posses- 
sion ;  his  distress  and  remorse  of  conscience,  were  too 
strong  for  his  mind  to  bear,  and  he  became  a  maniac. 
In  this  state  he  reached  New-York.  He  refused  to  go 
to  the  Hospital,  until  Mrs.  Graham  led  him  there. 
She  had  long  befriended  him  and  his  family  :  he  al- 
ways listened  respectfully  to  her  requests,  and  she  vi- 
sited him  often.  Let  the  rest  of  his  tale  be  told.  He 
escaped  from  the  Hospital,  wandered  to  the  south- 
ward, and  was  heard  of  no  more.  The  remaining  part 
of  his  family,  after  the  peace  of  Amiens,  returned  to 
St.  Domingo,  where  General  Le  Clerc  had  led  a 
French  army,  and  afterwards,  there  is  every  reason  to 
fear,  were  destroyed  by  Christophe,  along  with  many 
more  unhappy  victims  of  the  same  description. 

Oh  Slavery !  thou  bitter  draught !  the  oppressor's 
chain  becomes,  at  length,  the  murderous  steel,  sharply 
and  secretly  whetted  by  the  oppressed  !  Then  is  there 
confusion  and  every  evil  work.  And  what  shall  be 
said  of  gambling  ?  There  cunning,  malice,  rage,  and 
madness,  mingle  their  horrible  expressions. 

To  the  apartments  appropriated  to  sick  female  con- 
victs in  the  State  Prison,  Mrs.  Graham  made  many 
visits.  She  met  with  some  affecting  circumstances 
amongst  this  class. 


60  LIFE. 

In  the  winter  1807 — 8,  when  the  suspension  of  com- 
merce by  the  embargo,  rendered  the  situation  of  the 
poor  more  destitute  than  ever,  Mrs.  Graham  adopted 
a  plan  best  calculated  in  her  view  to  detect  the  idle 
applicant  for  charity,  and  at  the  same  time  to  furnish 
employment  for  the  more  worthy  amongst  the  female 
poor.  She  purchased  flax,  and  lent  wheels,  where 
applicants  had  none.  Such  as  were  industrious,  took 
the  work  with  thankfulness,  and  were  paid  for  it; 
those  who  were  beggars  by  profession,  never  kept  their 
word  to  return  for  the  flax  or  the  wheel.  The  flax 
thus  spun,  was  afterwards  wove,  bleached,  and  made 
into  table-cloths  and  towels  for  family  use. 

Mrs.  Graham  used  to  remark,  that  until  some  Insti- 
tution should  be  formed  to  furnish  employment  for  in- ', 
dustrious  poor  women,  the  work  of  charity  would  be 
incomplete.  It  was  about  this  time,  that  deeming  the 
duties  too  laborious  for  her  health,  she  resigned  the 
office  of  First  Directress  -of  the  Widow's  Society, 
and  took  the  place  of  a  manager.  She  afterwards 
declined  this  also,  and  became  a  trustee  of  the  Orphan 
Asylum  Society,  as  more  suited  to  her  advanced  period 
of  life. 

The  delicate  state  of  health  to  which  one  of  her 
grand-daughters  was  reduced  in  1808,  made  it  neces- 
sary  for  her  to  spend  the  summer  season  for  five  suc- 
cessive years  at  Rockaway  for  the  advantage  of  sea- 
bathing. Mrs.  Graham  went  with  her,  it  being  benefi- 
cial to  her  own  health  also.  In  this  place,  she  met  with 
many  strangers :  the  company  residing  there,  treated 
her  with  much  affection  and  respect.  She  always  at- 
tended to  the  worship  of  God  morning  and  evening  in 
her  room,  and  was  usually  accompanied  by  some  of  the 
ladies  who  boarded  in  the  house.    Her  fund  of  informa- 


LIFE. 

lion,  vivacity  of  manner,  and  the  interest  which  she  tea 
in  the  happiness  of  all  around  her,  made  her  society 
highly  valued  and  pleasing.  Few  of  those  ladies  who 
stayed  with  her  at  Rockaway,  for  any  length  of  time, 
failed  to  express,  at  parting,  their  esteem  for  her,  and 
they  generally  added  a  pressing  invitation  for  a  visit 
from  her,  if  ever  she  should  travel  near  where  they 
dwelt. 

In  the  year  1810,  whilst  bathing,  she  was  carried  by 
the  surf,  beyond  her  depth,  and  for  some  time  there 
was  scarcely  a  hope  of  her  regaining  the  shore. 
Her  grand-children  were  weeping  on  the  beach,  and 
the  company  assembled  there  were  afflicted  but  hope- 
less spectators  of  her  danger.  At  that  moment  of 
peril,  she  prayed  to  the  Lord  for  deliverance,  but  ac- 
quiesced in  his  will,  if  he  should  see  fit  to  take  her  to 
himself  in  this  manner.  Able  to  swim  a  little,  she 
kept  herself  afloat  for  some  time  ;  she  became  at 
length  very  faint ;  and  when  her  friends  on  the  beach 
apprehended  her  lost,  they  perceived  that  the  wave 
had  impelled  her  somewhat  nearer  to  them.  A  gen- 
tleman present,  and  her  female,  attendant  stepped 
into  the  surf,  and  extending  their  arms  for  mutual 
support,  one  of  them  was  enabled  to  lay  hold  of 
Mrs.  Graham's  bathing  gown,  and  to  pull  her  towards 
them.  When  they  brought  her  ashore,  she  was  much 
exhausted,  and  had  swallowed  a  considerable  quantity 
of  water.  It  was  some  hours  before  she  revived,  when 
she  addressed  the  company  in  a  very  serious  and  im- 
pressive manner,  that  affected  them  to  tears.  Her 
health  during  the  following  winter  was  much  impaired 
by  the  shock  it  had  received. 

In  the  year  1811,  some  gentlemen  of  New-York  es- 
tablished a  Magdalen  Society :  they  elected  a  Board 


62  LIFE. 

of  ladies,  requesting  their  aid  to  superintend  the  in- 
ternal management  of  the  Magdalen  House.  This 
Board  chose  Mrs.  Graham  their  presiding  lady,  which 
office  she  held  until  her  decease ;  the  duties  attendant 
on  it  she  discharged  with  fidelity  and  zeal  In  1812, 
the  trustees  of  the  Lancasterian  School  solicited  the 
attendance  of  several  pious  ladies,  to  give  catechetical 
instruction  to  their  scholars,  one  afternoon  in  every 
week  :  Mrs.  Graham  was  one  of  those  who  attended 
regularly  to  this  duty. 

During  the  last  two  years  of  her  life,  she  found  her 
strength  inadequate  to  so  extensive  a  course  of  visit- 
ing the  poor,  as  formerly ;  there  were  some  distress- 
ed families,  however,  that  experienced  her  kind  atten- 
tions to  the  last.  She  would  occasionally  accompany 
the  Rev.  Mr.  Stanford  on  his  visits  to  the  State  Prison, 
Hospital,  and  to  the  Magdalen  House.  This  gentle- 
man is  the  stated  preacher,  employed  by  "  the  Society 
for  the  support  of  the  Gospel  among  the  poor."  He 
devotes  his  time  to  preaching  in  the  Alms  House, 
Hospital,  State  Prison,  Debtor's  Prison,  &c.'with  great 
assiduity  and  acceptance.  -Mrs.  Graham  now  spent 
much  of  her  time  in  her  room,  devoted  to  meditation, 
prayer,  and  reading  the  Scriptures;  she  seemed  to 
be  weaning  from  earth,  and  preparing  for  heaven. 
Prayer  was  that  sweet  breath  of  her  soul  which 
brought  stability  to  her  life.  Genuine  humility  was  ob- 
vious in  all  her  sentiments  and  deportment.  Religious 
friends  prized  her  conversation,  counsel,  and  friend- 
ship ;  sometimes'  they  would  venture  on  a  compliment  to 
her  superior  attainments,  but  always  experienced  a  de- 
cided rebuke.  To  her  friend  Colonel  L — ,  who  ex- 
pressed a  wish  to  be  such  a  character  as  she  was,  she 
quickly  replied,  with  an  air  of  mingled  pleasantry  and 


LIFE.  03 

censure,  "  Get  thee  behind  me,  Satan."  To  a  female 
friend  who  said,  "  If  I  were  only  sure  at  last  of  being 
admitted  to  a  place  at  your  feet,  I  should  feel  happy." 
"  Hush,  hush,"  replied  Mrs.  Graham,  "  there  is  ONE 
SAVIOUR."  Thus  she  was  always  careful  to  give  her 
Divine  Redeemer  the  whole  glory  of  her  salvation. 

This  example  of  humility,  self-denial,  and  sensibili- 
ty to  the  imperfection  of  her  conduct,  is  the  more  to 
be  valued,  as  it  is  so  difficult  to  be  followed.  Flattery 
is  too  commonly  practised ;  and  there  is  no  sufficient 
guard  against  its  dangerous  consequences,  except  a 
constant  and  humbling  recognition  of  the  spirituality 
of  the  law  of  God ;  and  our  lamentable  deficiency 
in  fulfilling  it.  Pride  was  not  made  for  man ;  /  have 
seen  an  end  of  all  perfection,  said  the  Psalmist,  but  thy 
commandment  is  exceeding  broad.  It  was  by  cherish- 
ing this  sentiment,  by  studying  her  bible,  by  searching 
her  heart  and  its  motives,  and  above  all,  by  grace 
accorded  of  heaven  in  answer  to  her  prayers,  that 
Mrs.  Graham  was  enabled  to  maintain  such  a  meek- 
ness of  spirit,  such  an  uniformity  of  Christian  charac- 
ter, throughout  her  life.  May  all  who  read  her  histo- 
ry, be  directed  to  the  same  sources  of  true  peace,  and 
genuine  happiness  ! 

In  the  spring  of  1814  she  was  requested  to  unite 
with  some  ladies,  in  forming  a  Society  for  the  promo- 
tion of  Industry  amongst  the  poor.  As  this  was  the 
last  act  in  which  she  appeared  before  the  public,  and 
because  some  acquaintance  with  the  design  of  this 
Institution  may  prove  useful  in  exciting  others  to  simi- 
lar exertions,  the  Petition  sent  to  the  Corporation  of 
New-York  will  be  given  here  at  full  length  as  it  appear- 
ed in  the  publications  of  the  Society. 


64  LIFE. 

"  To  the  Honourable  the  Mayor  and  Common  Council  of  the  ciiy  of 

New-York. 

"  We,  whose  names  are  subscribed,  beg  leave  respectfully  to  ad- 
dress you,  on  a  subject  which  has  engaged  our  attention.  Not- 
withstanding the  large  amount  of  money  expended  by  private 
benevolence  for  the  relief  of  the  indigent,  it  is  cause  of  regret 
that  such  relief  is  of  so  limited  a  character;  cast  as  it  were  into 
a  troubled  sea,  it  sinks  to  rise  no  more.  Could  a  fair  proportion 
of  the  money  indefinitely  expended  on  the  poor,  be  placed  under 
the  care  of  an  Institution,  which  should  use  it  to  stimulate  indus- 
try, by  providing  work  for  the  indigent,  paying  them  only  for  their 
labour;  that  proportion  would  be  directed  to  the  most  beneficent 
purpose.  Such  a  course  would  encourage  industrious  habits,  do 
away  the  necessity  of  begging,  and  foster  self  respect,  in  the 
honest  poor. 

"  Such  an  Institution,  we  trust,  your  Honourable  Body  will  deem 
worthy  of  public  patronage  ;  we  are  willing  and  desirous  to  sup- 
port it  by  our  personal  exertions,  according  to  a  plan  which  we 
now  respectfully  submit  to  your  examination.  A  House  of  In- 
dustry forms  a  principal  feature  of  this  plan.  Should  your  Ho- 
nourable Body  so  far  patronize  us  as  to  assign  us  a  building  for 
that  purpose,  we  shall  commence  the  work,  trusting  to  the  bene- 
volence  and  discernment  of  our'citizens. 

"  The  admonition  of  holy  writ,  much  food  is  in  the  tillage  of  the 
poor,  but  there  is  that  is  destroyed  for  want  of  judgment ,  we  feel 
as  a  strong  incitement  to  render  the  industry  of  the  poor  useful 
to  themselves,  and  to  the  community.  Without  the  aid  now  re- 
spectfully solicited,  the  attempt  would  on  our  part  be  hazardous 
and  inefficient.  Our  zeal  to  promote  an  Institution,  having  this 
object  in  view,  must  be  our  excuse  for  addressing  ourselves  to  the 
guardians  and  rulers  of  the  city."  .   "  - 

This  Petition  was  signed  by  about  thirty  ladies. 

The  Corporation  having  returned  a  favourable  an- 
swer, and  provided  a  house,  a  meeting  of  the  Society 
was  held,  and  Mrs.  Graham  once  more  was  called  to 
the  chair.  It  was  the  last  time  she  was  to  preside  at 
the  formation  of  a  new  Society.  Her  articulation,  once 
strong  and  clear,  was  nowr  observed  to  have  become 


LIFE.  65 

more  feeble.  The  ladies  present  listened  to  her  with 
affectionate  attention  ;  her  voice  broke  upon  the  ear 
as  a  pleasant  sound  that  was  passing  away.  She 
consented  to  have  her  name  inserted  in  the  list  of  man- 
agers, to  give  what  assistance  her  age  would  permit  in 
forwarding  so  beneficent  a  work.  Although  it  pleased 
God  to  make  her  cease  from  her  labours,  before  the 
House  of  Industry  was  opened,  yet  the  work  was  car- 
ried on  by  others,  and  prospered.  Between  four  and 
five  hundred  women  were  employed  and  paid  during 
the  following  winter.  The  Corporation  declared  in 
strong  terms  their  approbation  of  the  result,  and  en- 
larged their  donation,  with  a  view  to  promote  the  same 
undertaking  for  the  succeeding  winter. 

In  the  month  of  May  1814,  a  Report  was  received 
from  Mr.  S.  P — ,  of  Bristol,  in  England,  of  the  So- 
ciety for  establishing  Adult  Schools.  Mrs.  Graham 
was  so  delighted  with  a  perusal  of  it,  as  immediately 
to  undertake  the  formation  of  such  a  School  in  the  vil- 
lage of  Greenwich.  She  called  on  the  young  people 
who  were  at  work  in  some  neighbouring  manufactories, 
and  requested  them  to  attend  her  for  this  purpose 
every  Sabbath  morning  at  eight  o'clock.  This  was 
kept  up  after  her  decease,  as  a  Sunday  School,  and 
consisted  of  nearly  eighty  scholars.  She  was  translat- 
ed from  this  work  of  faith  on  earth,  to  engage  in  the 
■<  lib  timer  work  of  praise  in  heaven. 

For  some  weeks  previous  to  her  last  illness,  she  was 
favoured  with  unusual  health,  and  much  enjoyment  of 
religion  :  she  appeared  to  have  sweet  exercises  and 
communion  in  attending  on  all  God's  ordinances,  and 
appointed  means  of  grace. 

She  was  greatly  refreshed  in  spirit. by  the  success 
of  Missionary  and  Bible  Societies.     She  used  to  speak 

I 


66  LIFE. 

with  much  affection  of  Mr.  Gordon,  Mr.  Lee,  and  Mr. 
Ma j,  with  whom  she  had  been  acquainted  when  in  New- 
York,  on  their  way  to  missionary  stations  in  India.  For 
Mr.  Robert  Morrison,  whom  she  had  seen  in  1807,  on 
his  way  to  China,  she  entertained  a  very  high  regard.  She 
was  much  pleased  with  the  solid  talents,  ardent  piety,  and 
persevering  zeal  which  she  discerned  in  his  character. 

Mrs.  Graham  was  very  partial  to  the  works  of  Dr.  John  . 
Owen,  the  Rev.  William  Romaine,  and  John  Newton,  and 
read  them  with  pleasure  and  profit.  One  day  she  remark- 
ed to  Mr.  B — ,  that  she  preferred  the  ancient  writers  on 
Theology,  to  the  modern,  because  they  dealt  more  in 
Italics.  "  Dear  mother,*'  he  replied,  "  what  religion  can 
there  be  in  Italics  ?"  "  You  know,"  said  she,  "  that  old 
writers  expected  credit  for  the  doctrines  they  taught,  by, 
proving  them  from  the  word  of  God,  to  be  correct . 
they  inserted  the  Scripture  passages  in  Italics,  and 
their  works  have  been  sometimes  one  half  in  Italics. 
Modern  writers  on  Theology,  on  the  contrary,  give  us 
a  long  train  of  reasoning,  to  persuade  us  to  their  opi- 
nions, but  very  little  in  Italics."  This  remark  of  hers 
has  great  force,  and.  may  be  worthy  of  sober  reflection 
by  those  who  write,  and  those  who  read  on  Theologi- 
cal subjects. 

On  the  two  Sabbath  days  preceding  her  illness,  she 
partook  of  the  communion,  and  was  consequently  much 
engaged  in  religious  exercises.  The  last  meditation 
she  ever  wrote,  was  on  Sabbath  afternoon,  the  17  th 
July  1814;  it  closes  with  the  following  lines  :  "  I  ate 
«*  the  bread,  and' drank  the  wine,  in  the  faith  that  I  ate 
a  the  flesh,  and  drank  the  blood  of  the  Son  of  Man, 
44  and  dwelt  in  him,  and  he  in  me;  took  .a-  close 
"  view  of  my  familiar  friend  Death,  accompanied  with 
84  the  presence  of  my  Saviour;  his  sensible  presence.    1 


LIFE.  m 

"•  cannot  look  at  it  without  this.  It  is  my  only  petition 
"  concerning  it.  I  have  had  desires  and  wishes  of  cer» 
"  tain  circumstances,  but  they  are  nearly  gone.  It  is 
"  my  sincere  desire  that  God  may  be  glorified ;  and  He 
"  knows  best  how,  and  by  what  circumstances.  I  re- 
*'  tain  my  one  petition : 

"  Only  to  me  thy  count'nance  show, 
"  I  ask  no  more  the  Jordan  through." 

Thus  she  arose  from  her  Master's  table,  was  called 
to  gird  on  her  armour  for  a  combat  with  the  King  of 
Terrors,  and  came  off  more  than  conqueror  through 
Him  who  loved  her. 

On  Tuesday,  the  19th  of  July,  she  complained  of 
not  feeling  well,  and  kept  her  room ;  on  Thursday  her 
disorder  proved  to  be  a  cholera-morbus,  and  her  chil- 
dren sent  for  a  physician.  She  said  this  attack  was 
slighter  than  in  former  seasons.  On  Saturday,  how- 
ever, she  requested  that  Mrs.  Chrystie  might  be  sent 
for;  this  alarmed  Mrs.  B — ,  knowing  there  existed  an 
understanding  between  those  two  friends,  that  one 
should  attend  the  dying-bed  of  the  other :  Mrs.  Chrys- 
tie was  a  very  dear  friend  of  Mrs.  Graham.  For  up- 
wards of  twenty-four  years  they  had  loved  each  other, 
feeling  reciprocal  sympathy  in  their  joys  and  their 
sorrows :  the  hope  of  faith  was  the  consolation  of  both, 
and  oftentimes  it  had  been  their  delightful  employment 
to  interchange  their  expressions  of  affection  towards 
Him,  whom  having  not  seen,  they  loved,  and  in  whom, 
though  they  saw  him  not,  yet  believing  on  him,  they  rejoic- 
ed with  joy  unspeakable  and  fall  of  glory.  On  Mrs. 
Chrystic's  entering  the  chamber  of  her  friend,  Mrs. 
Graham  welcomed  her  with  a  sweet  expressive  smile, 
seeming  to  say,  "  I  am  going  to  get  the  start  of  you, 
I  am  called  home  before  von :  it  will  be  vour  office  td 


G8  LIFE. 

fulfil  our  engagement/'  When  she  sat  by  her  bed- 
side, Mrs.  Graham  said,  "  your  face  is  very  pleasant  to 
me,  my  friend."  During  Saturday  night  a  lethargy  ap- 
peared to  be  overpowering  her  frame.  On  Sabbath 
morning  she  was  disposed  to  constant  slumber ;  ob- 
serving Mr.  B — ,  looking  at  her  with  agitation,  she 
was  roused  from  her  heaviness,  and  stretching  her 
arms  towards  him,  and  embracing  him,  she  said,  "-my 
dear,  dear  son,  I  am  going  to  leave  you,  I  am  going 
to  my  Saviour."  "  I  know,"  he  replied,  "  that  when 
you  do  go  from  us,  it  will  be  to  the  Saviour;  but  my 
dear  mother,  it  may  not  be  the  Lord's  time  now  to 
call  you  to  himself."  "  Yes,"  said  she,  "  now  is  the 
time,  and  Oh  !  I  could  weep  for  sin."  Her  words  were 
accompanied  with  her  tears.  "  Have  you  any  doubt 
then,  my  dear  friend  ?"  asked  Mrs.  Chrystie.  "  Oh  no," 
replied  Mrs.  Graham :  and  looking  at  Mr.  and  Mrs. 
B — ,  as  they  wept,  "  my  dear  children,  I  have  no  more 
doubt  of  going  to  my  Saviour,  than  if  I  were  already 
in  his  arms ;  my  guilt  is  all  transferred ;  he  has  cancel- 
led all  I  owed.  Yet  I  could  weep  for  sins  against  so 
good  a  God :  is  seems  to  me  as  if  there  must  be  weep- 
ing even  in  heaven  for  sin."  After  this,  she  entered 
into  conversation  with  her  friends,  mentioning  portions 
of  scripture,  and  favourite  hymns  which  had  been  sub- 
jects of  much  comfortable  exercise  of  mind  to  her; 
Some  of  these  she  had  transcribed  into  a  little  book, 
calling  them  her  victuals  prepared  for  crossing  over- 
Jordan  :  she  committed  them  to  memory,  and  often 
called  them  to  remembrance,  as  her  songs  in  the  night, 
when  sleep  had  deserted  her.  She  then  got  Mr.  B- — 
to  read  to  her  some  of  these  portions,  especially  the 
eighty-second  hymn  of  the  third  book  of  Newton's 
hyms",  beginning  thus : 


S"  - 


LIFE.  69 

Let  us  love,  and  sing,  and  wonder; 
Let  us  praise  the  Saviour's  name ! 
He  has  hush'd  the  law's  loud  thunder; 
He  has  quench'd  Mount  Sinai's  flame; 
He  has  wash'd  us  with  his  blood ; 
He  has  brought  us  nigh  to  God. 

Mrs.  Graham  then  fell  asleep,  nor  did  she  awaken  un- 
ul  the  voice  of  the  Rev.  Dr.  Mason  roused  her.  They 
had  a  very  affectionate  interview,  which  he  has  partly 
described  in  the  excellent  sermon  he  delivered  af- 
ter her  decease.  She  expressed  to  him  her  hope,  as 
founded  altogether  on  the  redemption  that  is  in  Jesus 
Christ.  Were  she  left  to  depend  on  the  merit  of  the 
best  action  she  had  ever  performed,  that  would  be  only 
a  source  of  despair.  She  repeated  to  him,  as  her  view 
of  salvation,  the  fourth  verse  of  the  hymn  already 
quoted: 

Let  us  wonder,  grace  and  justice 

Join,  and  point  at  mercy's  store ; 
When  thro'  grace  in  Christ  our  trust  is, 
Justice  smiles,  and  asks  no  more  : 
He  who  wash'd  us  with  his  blood, 
Has  secur'd  our  way  to  God. 

Having  asked  Dr.  Mason  to  pray  with  her,  he  inquired 
if  there  was  any  particular  request  she  had  to  make 
of  God,  by  him ;  she  replied  that  God  would  direct : 
then  as  he  kneeled,  she  put  up  her  hands,  and  raising 
her  eyes  towards  heaven,  breathed  this  short,  but  ex- 
pressive petition,  "  Lord,  lead  thy  servant  in  prayer." 
After  Dr.  Mason  had  taken  his  leave,  she  again  fell 
into  a  deep  sleep.  Her  physicians  still  expressed  a  hope 
of  her  recovery,  as  her  pulse  was  regular,  and  the  vi- 
olence of  her  disease  had  abated.  One  of  them,  however, 
declared  his  opinion,  that  his  poor  drugs  would  prove 
of  little  avail  against  her  own  ardent  prayers  to  depart, 


70  LIFE. 

and  be  ivith  Christ,  which  was  far  better  for  her  than  a 
return  to  a  dying  world. 

On  Monday  the  Rev.  Mr.  Rowan  prayed  with  her, 
and  to  him  she  expressed  also  the  tranquillity  of  her 
mind,  and  the  steadfastness  of  her  hope,  through  Christ, 
of  eternal  felicity. 

Her  lethargy  increased ;  at  intervals  from  sleep,  she 
would  occasionally  assure  her  daughter,  Mrs.  B — ,  that 
all  was  well ;  and  when  she„ could  rouse  herself  only  to 
say  one  word  at  a  time,  that  one  word,  accompanied 
with  a  smile,  was  "  Peace."  From  her,  there  was  a  pe- 
culiar emphasis  in  this  expression  of  the  state  of  her 
mind;  Peace  I  leave  with  you,  my  peace  I  give  unto  you, 
had  been  a  favourite  portion  of  scripture  with  her,  and 
a  promise,  the  fulfilment  of  which  was  her  earnest 
prayer  to  the  God  who  made  it.  She  also  occasionally 
asked  Mr.  B —  to  pray  with  her,  even  when  she  could 
only  articulate,  as  she  looked  at  him,  "  Pray."  She 
was  now  surrounded  by  many  of  her  dear  Christian 
friends,  who  watched  her  dying-bed  with  affection  and 
solicitude.  On  Tuesday,  afternoon  she  slept  with 
little  intermission.  This,  said  Dr.  Mason,  may  be 
truly  called  "  falling  asleep  in  Jesus."  It  was  remark- 
ed by  those  who  attended  her,  that  all  terror  was 
taken  away,  and  that  death  seemed  here  as  an  entrance 
into  life.  Her  countenance  was  placid,  and  looked 
younger  than  before  her  illness. 

At  a  quarter  past  twelve  o'clock,  being, the  morning 
of  the  27th  of  July  1814,  without  a  struggle  or  a 
groan,  her  spirit  winged  its  flight  from  a  mansion  of 
clay  to  the  realms  of  glory,  whilst  around  the  precious 
remnant  of  earth,  her  family  and  friends  stood  weep- 
ing, yet  elevated  by  the  scene  they  were  witnessing. 
After  a  silence  of  many  minutes,  they  kneeled  by  her 


Llbb.  72 

ied,  adored  the  goodness  and  the  grace  of  God  to- 
wards his  departed  child,  and  implored  the  divine 
blessing  on  both  the  branches  of  her  family,  as  well  as 
on  all  the  Israel  of  God. 

Thus  she  departed  in  peace,  not  trusting  in  her  wis- 
dom or  virtue,  like  the  Philosophers  of  Greece  and 
Rome  ;  not  even  like  Addison,  calling  on  the  profligate 
to  see  a  good  man  die;  but  like  Howard,  afraid  that 
her  good  works  might  have  a  wrong  place  in  the  esti- 
mate of  her  hope,  her  chief  glory  was  that  of  "  a  sin- 
ner saved  by  Grace."* 

After  such  examples,  who  will  dare  to  charge 
the  doctrines  of  the  cross  of  Christ  with  licen- 
tiousness? Here  were  two  instances  of  persons,  to 
whose  good  works  the  world  have  cheerfully  borne 
testimony,  who  lived  and  died  in  the  profession  of  these 
doctrines.  It  was  faith  that  first  purified  their  hearts, 
and  so  the  stream  of  action  from  these  fountains  be- 
came pure  also.  Had  not  Christ  died,  and  risen  again, 
all  the  powers  of  man  could  never  have  produced  such 
lives  of  benevolence,  nor  a  death  so  full  of  contrition, 
yet  so  embalmed  with  hope.  Hallelujah :  unto  Him  who 
loved  us,  and  washed  us  from  our'  sins  in  his  own  blood,  and 
hath  made  us  kings  and  priests  unto  God  and  his  Father  : 
to  him  be  glory  and  dominion  for  ever  and  ever.     Jlmen. 

Mrs.  Graham's  death  created  a  strong  sensation  in 
the  public  mind.  Several  clergymen  of  New- York 
made  this  event  the  subject  of  their  discourses ;  and  in 
the  annual  Reports  of  many  charitable  Institutions,  an 
affectionate  tribute  of  respect  was  paid  to  her  memory. 
Two  of  the  chief  magistrates  of  the  city,  said  to  Mr. 
B — ,  that  they  considered  the  death  of  Mrs.  Graham 
as  a  public  loss.     The  Rev.  Dr.  Mason  was  requested 

*  This  was  Howard's  epitaph,  dictated  hy  himself. 


72  LIFE. 

to  preach  a  Sermon  on  this  occasion.  How  ably  he 
executed  this  trust,  is  well  known  to  the  public.  The 
hymn  she  quoted  to  him  was  sung  after  the  sermon.* 

At  the  weekly  Prayer  Meeting  which  she  usually  at- 
tended, the  circumstances  of  her  death  were  made 
subjects  of  improvement.  On  the  16th  of  July  she 
was  a  worshipper  with  her  brethren  and  sisters  there, 
and  on  the  evening  of  the  30th,  they  were  called  to . 
consider  her  by  faith  as  in  the  immediate  presence  of 
her  God,  among  the  spirits  of  the  Just  made  perfect. 

The  services  of  that  evening  were  closed  with  a  hymn 
from  DobelPs  collection,  which  being  descriptive  of  her 
happy  change,  shall  be  given  here  at  length,  as  a  pro- 
per conclusion  of  this  imperfect  sketch  of  her  life. 

'Tis  finish'*]  !  the  conflict  is  past, 

The  heav'n-born  spirit  is  fled ;  -  . 

Her  wish  is  accomplish'*!  at  last, 

And  now  she's  entomb'd  with  the  dead. 

The  months  of  affliction  are  o'er, 

The  days  and  the  nights  of  distress; 
We  see  her  in  anguish  no  moie — 

She's  gained  her  happy  release. 

Xo  sickness,  or  sorrow,  or  pain,  , 

Shall  ever  disquiet  her  now; 
For  death  to  her  spirit  was  gain, 

Since  Christ  was  her  life  when  below. 

Her  soul  has  now  taken  its  flight 

To  mansions  of  glory  above, 
To  mingle  with  angels  of  light, 

And  dwell  in  the  kingdom  of  love.  < 

The  victory  now  is  obtain'd  ; 

She's  gone  her  dear  Saviour  to  see  ; 
Her  wishes,  she  fully  has  gain'd — 

She's  now  where  she  longed  to  be. 

The  coffin,  the  shroud,  and  the  grave, 

To  her  were  no  objects  of  dread  ; 
On  Him  who  is  mighty  to  save, 

Her  soutwas  with  confidence  stay'd. 

Then  let  us  forbear  to  complain, 

That  she  is  now  gone  from  our  sight  ; 
We  soon  shall  behold  her  again, 

With  new  and  redoubled  delight. 

■■•■  The  perusal  of  this  sermon  has  already  led  to  the  establishment  of  two  respectabk  " 
Orphan  Societies,  and  of  one  Adult  School  in  the  United  States. 


DEVOTIONAL  EXERCISES. 


Edinburgh,  March,  1789. 
Jeremiah  xlix.  11. 
The  Lord's  promise,  which  he  made  to  me  in  the 
days  of  my  widowhood,  and  which  I  have  made  the 
subject  of  my  prayers  from  day  to  day,  taking  the 
words  in  a  spiritual  sense :  the  Lord  has  done  won- 
ders for  me  and  mine,  since  the  day  I  was  left  a  wi- 
dow with  three  orphans,  and  the  fourth  not  born,  in  a 
strange  land,  without  money,  at  a  distance  from  friends; 
or  rather,  without  friends.  Hitherto,  he  has  supplied 
all  my  wants,  and  laid  to  hand  every  necessary,  and 
many  comforts ;  supporting  character  and  credit ; 
making  way  for  me  through  the  wilderness,  point- 
ing out  my  path,  and  settling  the  bounds  of  my  habita- 
tion. 

For  all  these  blessings,  I  desire  to  be  thankful  and 
grateful  to  the  God  of  providence,  whose  is  the  earth, 
and  the  fulness  thereof:  but  these  I  cannot  take  as  the 
substance  of  the  promise ;  neither  have  they  been  the 
matter  of  my  prayers.  The  salvation  and  the  life  1 
have  wrestled  for,  is  that  which  Christ  died  to  pur- 
chase, and  lives  to  bestow ;  even  spiritual  life,  and  salva- 
tion from  sin.  My  God  knows  I  have  held  fast  this 
view  of  the  words,  seeking  first  the  kingdom  of  God 
for  my  children,  leaving  temporals  to  be  given  or 
withheld,  as  may  best  suit  with  the  conversion  and 
sanctincation  of  their  souls.  I  have  not  asked  for  them 
health,  beauty,  riches,  honours,  nor  temporal  life  :  God- 
knows  what  share  of  these  consists  with  their  better 

K 


74  DEVOTIONAL    EXERCISES. 

interests  :  let  him  give  or  withhold  accordingly.  One 
tiling  I  have  asked  of  the  Lord,  one  thing  only,  and 
will  persist  in  asking,  and  will  hang  upon  him  for,  trust 
in  him  for,  and  for  which  I  think  I  have  his  promise,  even 
the  life  of  their  and  my  soul.  1  Thes.  v.  23.  is  my  pe- 
tition for  me  and  mine,  24th  my  anchor  of  hope, 
preceded  by  Jeremiah  xlix.  11. 


Edinburgh,  March  17,  1789. 

This  day,  from  the  head  of  his  own  table,  did  the 
Lord  by  his  sent  servant,  Mr.  R — ,  proclaim  his  name 
the  I  AM,  and  called  on  me  to  write  under  what  I 
would,  for  time  and  eternity.  My  soul  rejoices  that 
God  is,  and  that  he  is  what  he  is  ;  nothing  less  than 
himself  can  content  me,  nothing  more  do  I  desire. 

This  great  I  AM  is  my  portion — what  can  I  ask  be- 
side ?  He  hath  opened  my  eyes  to  see  his  excellency, 
he  hath  determined  my  will,  to  choose  him  for  my  por- 
tion. He  hath  arranged,  and  set  in  order,  a  rich  tes- 
tament scaled  by  the  blood  of  his  Sown  on,  Containing 
every  blessing  for  time  and  for  eternity.  All  my 
heart's  desire  is  there  promised,  and  faith  given  to  be- 
lieve there  shall  be  a  full  performance.  What  have  1 
to  say  then,  but  Amen,  do  as  thou  hast  said  ?  Father, 
glorify  thy  name.  Thou  hast  said,  theii  will  I  sprinkle 
clean  water  upon  you,  and  ye  shall  be  clean  ;  from  all  your 
filthiness,  'and  from  all  your  idols  will  I  cleanse  you.  A 
new  heart  also  will  I  give  you,  and  a  new  spirit  will  I  put 
within  you ;  and  I  will  take  away  the  stony  heart  out  of 
your  flesh,  and  I  will  give  you  an  heart  of  flesh  ;  and  I  will 
put  my  spirit  within  you,  and  cause  you  to  walk  in  my  sta- 
tutes, and  ye  shall  keep  my  judgments  and  do  them.  And 
ye  shall  dwell  in  the  land  that  I  gave  to  your  fathers ;  and 


DEVOTIONAL    EXERCISES.  75 

ye  shall  be  my  people  and  I  will  be  your  God.  Amen. 
Lord,  do  as  thou  hast  said.  Behold,  I  take  hold  of 
thy  covenant  for  myself  and  for  my  children.  It  is 
well  ordered  in  all  things,  and  it  is  sure.  My  heart 
accords  to  every  part  of  it.  Wilt  thou  guide  us  by  thy 
counsel  while  we  live,  and  afterwards  receive  us  to  thy 
glory.  Amen,  and  amen — do  as  thou  hast  said. 

If  we  forsake  thy  laws,  and  go  astray  ;  if  we  depart 
from  thee,  and  break  thy  commandments,  wilt  thou  vi- 
sit our  faults  with  rods,  and  our  sins  with  chastisements  ? 
Blessed  promise,  Amen,  Lord,  do  as  thou  hast  said : 
seeing  thy  loving  kindness  is  secured  to  us,  and  thou 
wilt  not  cast  us  off  from  being  thy  people,  nor  alter 
that  which  thou  hast  spoken ;  wilt  thou  keep  us  as  the 
apple  of  thine  eye  ?  wilt  thou  cover  us  with  the  sha- 
dow of  thy  wing  ?  Art  thou  my  husband  ?  art  thou 
the  father  of  my  fatherless  children  ?  wilt  thou  be  the 
stay  of  these  orphans,  and  their  and  my  shield  in  a 
strange  land  ?  wilt  thou  perfect  what  concerns  us  ? 
wilt  thou  care  for  us  ?  wilt  thou  never  leave  us,  never  for- 
sake us  ?  in  the  valley  of  the  shadow  of  death,  shall 
thy  rod  and  staff  support  us  ?  what  can  thy  servant 
sav,  but  Amen,  do  as  thou  hast  said ! 


NewrYork,  August  26,  1700. 
Reading  over  my  former  experience,  has  a  Utile 
revived  this  cold  heart.  Strange  things  hast  thou  done 
for  me  and  mine.  Thou  hast  said  again  and  again, 
trust  not  in  man  :  yet,  O  my  idolatrous  heart  will  hug 
my  friends  to  my  hurt!  Thou  hast  seen  it  necessary 
to  let  me  see,  how  easy  it  is  with  thee  to  blast  the 
brightest  hopes  and  fairest  prospects  :  thou  hast 
showed    me  that  father  and  mother  may  forsake ;  and 


76  DEVOTIONAL    EXERCISES. 

even  friends  in  Christ  stand  aloof.  Glory  to  thy  name, 
thou  hast  also  confirmed  a  consequent  hope ;  the  Lord 
has  taken  me  up.  Thou  knowest  my  castings  down, 
and  liftings  up.  The  world  would  not  believe  me,  were 
I  to  tell  them  the  stately  steps  thou  hast  taken  for  my 
relief. 


New-York,  May  20,  1791 

This  day  my  only  son  left  me  in  bitter  wringings 
of  heart :  he  is  ao-ain  launched  on  the  ocean :  God's 
ocean.  The  Lord  saved  him  from  shipwreck,  bade  the 
waves  spare  :  he  brought  him  to  my  home,  and  allow- 
ed me  once  more  to  indulge  my  yearning  of  bowels 
over  him.  Short  has  been  the  time  he  has  been  with, 
me,  and  ill  have  1  improved  it :  he  is  gone  from  my 
sightrand  my  heart  bursts  with  tumultuous  grief.  Lord 
have,  mercy  on  the  widow's  son — the  only  son  of  his 
mother,  and  she  a  widow. 

I  ask  nothing  in  all  this  world  for  him  :  I  repeat  my 
petition ;  save  his  soul  alive  :  give  him  salvation  from 
sin.  It  is  not  the  danger  of  the  seas  that  distresses 
me;  it  is  not  the  hardships  he  must  undergo ;  it  is 
not  the  dread  of  never  seeing  him  more  in  this  world  : 
it  is  because  I  cannot  discern  the  fulfilment  of  the  pro- 
mise in  him.  I  cannot  discern  the  new  birth  nor 'its 
fruits,  but  every  symptom  of  captivity  to  Satan,  the 
wrorld,  and  self-will.  This,  O  this,  is  what  distresses 
me  ;  and  in  connexion  with  this,  his  being  shut  out 
from  ordinances,  at  a  distance  from  Christians  ;  shut  up 
with  those  who  forget  God,  profane  his  name,  and 
break  his  Sabbaths,  and  has  chosen  his  lot  among*  a 
class  of  men,  who  often  live  and  die  like  beasts ;  yet 
are  accountable  creatures,  who  must  answer  for  every 


DEVOTIONAL    EXERCISES.  77 

moment  of  time,  and  every  word,  thought,  and  action. 
O  Lord,  many  wonders  hast  thou  shown  me :  thy  ways 
of  dealing  with  me  and  mine  have  not  been  common 
ones — add  this  wonder  to  the  rest.  Call,  convert,  re- 
generate, and  establish  a  sailor  in  the  faith.  Lord,  all 
things  are  possible  with  thee  :  glorify  thy  son,  and  ex- 
tend his  kingdom  by  sea  and  land  ;  take  the  prey  from 
the  strong.  I  roll  him  over  upon  thee.  Many  friends 
try  to  comfort  me  ;  miserable  comforters  are  they  all. 
Thou  art  the  God  of  consolation  ;  only  confirm  to  me 
thy  gracious  word,  on  which  ihou  causedst  me  to  hope, 
in  the  day  when  thou  saidst  to  me,  "  Leave  thy  fatherless 
children,  I  will  preserve  them  alive"  Only  let  this 
life  be  a  spiritual  life,  and  I  put  a  blank  in  thy  hand  as 
to  all  temporal  things. 

/  wait  for  thy  salvation.     Amen. 


New-York,  August  18,  1791. 

Thus  far  the  Lord  hath  tried  me,  and  kept  me  to  my 
choice.  This  night  I  have  tidings  through  a  letter  to 
Dr.  M.  that  my  son  has  been  seized  by  the  press-gang. 
Through  God's  help  he  escaped  with  his  skin  j  but  all 
his  assortment  of  necessaries  that  his  sisters  and  I  made 
up  with  so  much  care,  labour,  and  expense,  they  have 
carried  off,  and  he  is  once  more  left  naked.  Satan, 
and  a  corrupt  heart,  unite  in  tempting  me  to  fret.  Dare 
I  utter  a  word,  or  harbour  a  murmuring  thought  ? 
Would  I  withdraw  the  blank  I  have  put  into  the  Re- 
deemer's hand  ?  Has  he  not  hitherto  done  all  things 
well  ?  Have  not  my  own  afflictions  been  my  greatest 
blessings  ?  Have  not  I  asked  for  my  children  their  mo- 
ther's portion  ?  Has  not  God  chiefly  made  use  of  af- 
flictions as  means  of  hedging  me  in,  and  shutting  me  up 


78  DEVOTIONAL    EXERCISES. 

io  my  choice  of  this  portion,  as  well  as  showing  me 
that  He  is  a  sufficient  portion  without  any  other  ?  When 
matters  have  been  at  the  worst  with  me  as  to  this  world, 
my  triumphs  in  my  God  have  been  highest,  and  pros- 
pects for  eternity  brightest. 

Has  the  Lord  given  me  in  some  measure  victory  over 
the  world  ?  Do  its  honours,  riches,  show,  and  gaudy 
splendours,  appear  to  me  empty  and  vain,  and  not 
worth  ah  anxious  thought  ?  Does  provision  of  food 
and  raiment  by  the  way  through  this  wilderness,  seem 
all  that  is  necessary  ?  And  is  it  my  wish,  as  well  as 
form  of  prayer,  that  the  Lord  may  give  that  in  kind 
and  degree,  as  he  sees  fittest  for  me  ?  And  shall  I  covet 
that  for  my  child  which  I  despise  for  myself  ?  Alas! 
Lord,  it  is  because  he  feeds  not  on  better  things,  and 
sometimes  I  fear  he  has  no  better  portion.  Still,  still 
foolish.  Was  it  when  I  was  full,  or  in  want,  that  I  re- 
turned to  my  heavenly  Father  ?  Do  I  desire,  have  I 
asked  and  persisted  in  asking  for  my  children,  salvation 
from  sin  and  self?  Do  I  anxiously  wish  them  to  reach  and 
to  surpass  my  present  measure  of  submission  and  re- 
signation to  thy  will— to  enjoy  God  in  all  things,  and 
nothing  without  him  ?  And  shall  I,  dare  I,  fret  when 
I  see  the  Lord  making  use  of  the  same  means  which 
first  brought  me  to  myself,  and  recovered  me  also  from 
numberless  backsliding  since  I  first  tasted  the  bless- 
edness  of  his  chosen  ? 

Lord,  I  renew  my  blank.  I  afresh  roll  them  all  over 
upon  thee.  I  will  try  to  look  on,  in  the  faith  that  all 
things  shall  work 'together  for  good  to  their  souls  ;  and 
that  I  shall  yet  see  the  day,  or  if  I  see  it  not,  that  it  will 
come,  when  they  shall  bow  at  thy  footstool ;  sjnk  into 
the  open  arms  of  thy  mercy  in  Christ ;  melted  down  in 
holy, "humble,  acquiescing,  cordial  submission   to  thy 


DEVOTIONAL    EXERCISES.  79 

severest  dealings  with  them ;  when  thou  shalt  put  a 
new  song  into  their  mouths,  and  they  shall  sing  as  I 
do  now,  "  //  hath  been  very  good/or  me  that  I  have  been 
afflicted"     I  wait  for  thy  salvation.     Amen. 

New-  York,  September  1791. 
Many  have  been  my  burdens  of  late ;  strangers  laid 
upon  me  to  provide  for,  even  when  I  thought  I  had  not 
sufficient  to  give  to  all  their  due,  and  provide  for  my 
own  family.  But  what  is  that  to  me,  the  Lord  increases 
business,  lays  more  largely  to  hand,  bears  me  and  my 
burdens,  provides  for  me  and  strangers.  Lord,  it  is  all 
well  :  give  when  thou  wilt,  and  callfor  it  again,  when 
and  for  what  purpose  thou  wilt,  it  is  thine  own.  I  am 
thine,  and  all  that  thou  givest  me  is  thine  ;  the  worl  d 
calls  it  mine,  but  I  call  it  thine.  If  it  be  thy  will,  lead 
me  in  a  plain  path,  or  if  thou  lead  me  by  a  way  which 
I  know  not,  hold  up  my  goings,  so  shall  I  be  in  peace 
and  safety  still.     Amen. 


JVeiv-York,  October  10,  1791. 

This  day,  did  the  Lord's  sent  servant,  in  a  solemn 
manner,  take  us  all  to  witness,  and  call  in  the  witness 
of  angels,  that  we  had  once  more  avouched  ourselves 
to  be  .the  Lord's  ;  and  that  once  more,  Christ  and  his 
salvation  had  been  offered  to  all  within  the  walls.  This 
same  day,  for  the  second  time,  have  my  two  daughters 
sat  down  at  the  Redeemer's  table,  among  his  profes- 
sing people  ;  and  I  have  reason  to  think,  given  their 
hearty  assent  to  his  covenant. 

Glory  !  Glory  !  Glory  !  to  the  hearer  of  prayer. 
I  have  cast  my  fatherless  children  on  the  Lord,  and  he 
has  begun  to  make  good  my  confidence.  One  things 
one  only  thing,  have   I   asked  for  them,  leaving  even 


80  DEVOTIONAL    EXERCISES. 

thing  else  to  be  bestowed  or  withheld,  as  consisting 
with  that :  I  seek  for  my  four  children  and  myself,  first 
of  all,  the  kingdom  of  God. 

My  God  from  day  to  day  adds  many  other  comforts, 
and  strengthens  my  hopes  by  promising  appearances, 
that  the  grain  of  mustard  seed  is  sown  in  the  hearts  of 
my  three  daughters.  They  have  joined  themselves  to 
the  people  of  God,  and  I  have  reason  to  think  the  Lord 
has  ratified  their  surrender  of  themselves  to  him  ;  he 
has  made  them  willing  for  the  time,  and  he  will  hedge 
them  in  to  the  choice  they  have  made. 

Saturday,  Sept.  1791.  The  Lord  made  me  a  grand- 
mother, assisted  my  poor  weakly  girl  in  child-bearing, 
and  gave  a  son  to  her  and  my  arms.  There  was  joy  that 
a  man  child  was  born  into  the  world,  and  according  to  thy. 
word,  she  remembered  no  more  her  pain. 

Thanks  be  to  God  for  this  salvation ;  but,  Lord,  this 
is  but  a  small  thing  with  thee.  Look,  O  look,  on  this 
twig  from- a  guilty  stock  ;  poor,  helpless,  feeble  creature, 
it  can  do  nothing  for  its  body,  and  still  less  for  its  soul. 
O  G  od  of  the  spirits  of  all  flesh,  give  it  a  plunge  in  the 
blood  of  Jesus — cleanse,  O  cleanse  him  from  original  sin, 
and  now,  even  now,  in  thy  own  sovereign  and  mysteri- 
ous way,  sow  the  grain  of  mustard  seed  in  his  soul. 


New-York,  Jan.  20,  1792. 

This  day  our  worthy  pastor  preached  from  Re- 
velations, xiv.  i.  These  are  they  who  follow  the  Lamb 
whithersoever  he*  goeth ;  these  are  redeemed  from  among 
men,  being  the  first  fruits  unto  God,  and  to  the  Lamb,  and 
in  their  mouth  was  found  no  guile,  for  they  are  without  fault 
before  God.  The  one  hundred  and  forty-four  thousand 
on  mount  Zion  around  the  Lamb,  having  their  Father's 


DEVOTIONAL    EXERCISES.  81 

name  written  on  their  foreheads.  A  goodly  number. 
The  people  of  God  redeemed  from  among  men,  and 
distinguished  from  the  world  by  the  image  of  God 
stampt  upon  their  souls,  by  the  Spirit  of  God  dwelling 
in  and  operating  on  their  hearts,  and  this  distinguisha- 
ble by  the  effects  it  produces  on  their  lives  and  conver- 
sation. 

They  follow  the  Lamb  whithersoever  he  goeth.  The 
Lamb  is  their  leader,  and  they  keep  him  ever  in  their 
view  ;  the  world,  the  men  of  the  world,  live  to  and  for 
the  world. 

"  Some  walk  in  honour's  gaudy  show, 

"  Some  dig  for  golden  ore, 
"  They  toil  for  heirs,  they  know  not  who, 

"  And  strait  are  seen  no  more." 

These  are  their  chief  objects,  which  they  hunt 
through  life,  unmindful  of  the  Gospel  call,  of  the  of- 
fered salvation,  of  the  remonstrances  of  God  in  his 
wrord,  providences,  and  by  his  sent  servants,  till  they 
drop,  oh  where  !  into  the  pit  of  the  beast,  the  prince 
of  this  world,  whose  mark  is  in  their  foreheads,  his 
image  ripened  in  their  souls,  and  visible  in  their  lives 
and  conversations.  The  followers  of  the  Lamb  shall 
share  with  him  in  his  glory ;  the  followers  of  the  beast 
shall  share  with  him  in  the  wine  of  God's  wrath,  pour- 
ed out  without  mixture  into  the  cup  of  his  indignation, 
and  be  tormented  day  and  night  with  fire,  in  the  pre- 
sence of  the  Lamb  and  his  holy  angels  ;  and  the  smoke 
of  their  torment  ascendeth  up  day  and  night,  who 
worship  the  beast,  and  receive  the  mark  of  bis  name. 
Why  do  I  start,  why  do  I  stagger  at  the  divine  decla- 
ration? The  Judge  of  all  the  earth,  yea,  of  Heaven 
and  Hell,  and  all  worlds,  shall  do  right,  yet  shall  he 
do  this.     Mercy  as  well  as  judgment  is,  was,  and  ever 

L 


82 


DEVOTIONAL    EXERCISES. 


shall  be  around  his  throne,  yet  shall  he  do  this.     Good- 
ness   and  mere j  are   his  darling  attributes  :    He  is  the 
Lord  God,  merciful  and  gracious,  long  suffering,  abundant 
in  goodness   and  truth,  keeping  mercy  for  thousands,  for- 
giving iniquity,  transgressio/i,  and  sin.     Yet  will  he  do 
this,  for  he  will  by  no  means  clear  the  guilty.     Vengeance 
shall  be  taken  on  every  sin,  not  one  shall  pass  unpunish- 
ed :  yet  these  hundred  and  forty -four  thousand  were  sin- 
ners of  Adam's  race,  with  corrupt  hearts,  breaking  out 
into    guilty  words    and  deeds,  like   mine,  every  one, 
the  least  of  them,   justly    condemning  the  sinner    to 
these  dreadful  torments.     Yet  are  they  all  around  the 
Lamb,  rejoicing  in  his  presence,  and  beautified  with  his 
likeness.      Blessed  Lamb    of  God !    thou  art  worthy, 
thou  hast  loosed   the  seals,  and   unravelled   the    mys- 
tery, how  vengeance  can  be  taken  on  sin,  and  mercy 
embrace   the  sinner.      Thou  wast  the  ram  caught  in 
the  thicket !    The  Father,    the  Judge  called,  spare,  I 
have  found  a  ransom;  the   Son  called  spare,  lo,  I  come 
to  lay  doivnmy  own  life  for  the  sheep  /    The  blessed  Spi- 
rit called  spare,  I ' ivill  create  a  ncio  heart,  and  renew  o  . 
right  spirit  within  them  !    Through  the  mysterious   in- 
carnation, life,   and  death,  of  our  Glorious  Redeemer^ 
Son  of  God,  and  Son  of  man,  he  hath  redeemed,  sanc- 
tified, perfected  all  around  the  throne  ;  and  there   are 
now  a  goodly  number  who  are  on  the  way,  bearing  their 
cross  after  him. 

They  have  embraced  his  offered  mercy;  they  have 
taken  hold  of  God's  covenant  just  as  it  stands,  well  or- 
dered in  all  things  and  sure.  Christ  himself  the  sum  and 
substance  of  it :  he  is  their  wisdom,  righteousness, 
sanctification,  and  redemption.  Justifying  righteous- 
ness he  wrought  out  for  them  by  his  perfect,  per- 
sonal obedience :  their   sanctification  is   going  on  by 


DEVOTIONAL    EXERCISES.  83 

means  of  his  appointing,  even  by  his  word,  by  his 
sent  servants,  by  the  operations  of  his  Spirit  in  their 
hearts,  and  by  his  external  providences,  whereby  he 
brings  about  such  a  train  of  circumstances  in  their  lot? 
as  breaks  the  force  of  corruption,  mortifies  pride,  loosens 
their  attachment  to  the  world,  endears  himself  to  them, 
and  by  degrees  wins  their  entire  confidence,  and  con- 
sent to  let  him  do  all  for  them,  and  all  in  them ;  and 
then,  and  not  till  then,  he  is  all  to  them. 

Oh !  what  is  this  world  and  its  empty  baubles. 
Lord,  lift  on  me  the  light  of  thy  countenance !  Oh 
let  me  never  lose  sight  of  thee,  set  me  as  a  seal  upon 
thine  arm,  and  let  me  lean  upon  thy  bosom. 

What  a  mystery  am  I  to  myself!  I  know  all  these 
delights — what  it  is  to  be  in  the  banqueting  house  of 
my  Beloved,  and  to  sit  under  his  banner  with  delight,  to 
be  satisfied,  to  be  more  than  satisfied,  to  be  almost 
sick  of  love,  so  as  to  look  down  on  all  created  enjoy- 
ments with  contempt ;  yea,  have  I  wished  to  die,  to  be 
delivered  from  them  :  and  yet  when  engaged  in  the  ne- 
cessary business  of  the  world,  daily  and  hourly  become 
a  prey  to  its  anxieties.  I  am  elated,  disappointed,  fret- 
ted like  those  who  have  no  other  portion,  and  neglect, 
shamefully  neglect,  the  means  by  which  God  conveys  to 
my  heart  those  dear  cordials  and  tastes  of  his  love, 
which,  when  I  enjoy,  I  would  never  wish  to  part  with, 
but  which  I  lose  through  indolence,  unwatchfulness,  or 
I  know  not  what,  and  when  gone,  neglect  the  means  to 
recover.  Oh  what  a  strange,  inconsistent,  contradictory 
being,  is  a  half  sanctified  Christian ! 

New-York,  1703. 

Blessed  Lord,  thou  hast,  to  the  praise  of  thy  grace, 
given  me  the  heritage  of  them    that  fear  thy   name ; 


84  DEVOTIONAL    EXERCISES. 

thou  hast  prepared  my  heart  to  pray,  and  inclined 
thine  ear  to  hear  :  thou  hast  drawn  me  into  thy  fold, 
and  hast  fed  me  in  thy  green  pastures.  I  rejoice  in 
Israel's  Shepherd,  not  one  of  his  flock  can  be  lost. 
Often  have  I  wandered  from  his  presence,  and  sought 
pasture  among  the  swine,  but  my  Shepherd  has  ever 
drawn  or  driven  me  back.  He  has  a  rod,  and  I  have 
felt  it;   but  I  bless  the  hand,  and  kiss  the  rod. 

0  how  wonderful,  to  look  back  and  see  all  the  way 
by  which  he  has  led  me,  to  prove  me,  to  try  me,  to  show  me 
what  was  in  my  heart,  that  he  might  do  me  good  at  my 
latter  end. 

Amen,  my  God,  I  leave  myself  in  thy  hands. 

1  should  lose  myself;  but  thou  wilt  keep  me  from 
foes  without,  and  foes  within.  What  then  have  I  to 
care  for?  My  Shepherd  cares  for  all  :  He  slumbers  not, 
nor  sleeps,  and  he  will  perfect  what  concerns  me;  of 
this  I  am  as  sure  as  that  I  now  write  it. 

But,  O  my  God  !  wilt  thou  not  take  my  orphans  also, 
Lord  !  care  not  only  for  me,  but  mine  :  bring  them 
also  within  this  door;  Compel  them  to  come  in.  Oh! 
let  me  see  them  hungering  after  these  green  pastures. 
Oh!  let  me  see  them  brought  off  from  husks,  and 
brought  back  to  their  Fathers  house. 

The  means  are  thine,  the  work  thine,  the'  glory  be 
thine.  I  leave  my  fatherless  children  on  thee,  save  them 
alive,  as  thou  hast  said.  Amen. 

The  law  of  thy  mouth  is  better  unto  me  than  gold  and 
silver.  O  how  I  love  thy  laiv,  it  is  my  meditation  all  the 
day.  Thou,  through  thy  commandments,  (or  the  whole 
of  thy  truth,)  hast  made  me  wiser  than  my  teachers.  The 
law  of  God  makes  the  simple  wise.  How  siveet.  are  thy 
words  unto  my  taste,  yea,  sweeter  than  honey  to  my  mouth. 
Through  thy  precepts  I  get  understanding,  therefore  I  hate 


DEVOTIONAL    EXERCISES.  85 

every  false  way.  Thy  ivord  is  a  lamp  unto  my  feet,  and 
a  light  unto  my  path.  O  how  safe,  how  happy  are  they 
who  are  taught  by  the  word  of  God  !  Blessed  art  thou, 
Simon  Bar-jonah,  for  flesh  and  blood  hath  not  taught  thee 
this,  but  my  Father  who  is  in  heaven.  O  my  children  ! 
enrich  your  minds  with  a  full  acquaintance  with  the 
word  of  God,  lay  it  up  in  your  memories,  when  you 
can  do  nothing  more ;  be  assured,  if  ever  you  are 
made  wise  unto  salvation,  it  must  be  by  this  word ,  if 
ever  you  are  taught  of  God,  he  will  teach  you  by  the 
words  contained  in  the  Bible.  Search  the  Scriptures, 
for  they  are  they  which  testify  of  me;  search  the  Scrip- 
tures, for  in  them  are  contained  the  words  of  eternal 
life.  Be  followers  of  them,  who  through  faith  and  pa- 
tience now  inherit  the  jiromises.  Holy  David  went  for- 
ward, heavenward,  impro\ing  in  the  knowledge  of 
God,  of  himself,  and  of  God's  plan  of  salvation  for 
ruined  sinners,  by  studying  the  word,  the  works,  and 
providences  of  God,  but  chiefly  the  word  of  God ;  pray- 
ing for,  watching  for,  the  influences  of  God's  Spirit  on 
his  judgment  and  thinking  powers  :  it  was  by  this  that 
he  became  wiser  than  his  teachers.  He  was  a  king, 
and  had  the  cares  of  the  nation  to  occupy  his  mind; 
he  was  a  man  of  war,  and  had  that  art  to  study.  But. 
O  the  privilege  of  the  Christian  !  he  goes  through 
every  part  even  of  his  earthly  way,  leaning  upon  his 
God.  David  could  say,  even  of  war,  The  Lord  teach- 
es my  hands  to  war,  and  my  fingers  to  fight.  The  Lord 
subdues  the  people  under  me.  In  temporals  and  in  spirit- 
uals, He  is  my  shield,  my  strength,  my  buckler,  my 
strong  tower.  /  shall  not  fear  what  man  can  do  unto 
me.  In  Judah's  land,  God  is  well  known  ;  there  he  brake 
the  spear,  the  bow,  and  the  battle.  He  ascribes  all  to  God. 
We  hear  nothing  of  his  own  wisdom,  his  disciplined  ar- 


86  DEVOTIONAL    EXERCISES. 

mies,  his  order  of  battle,  and  warlike  powers,  though  at- 
tention to  all  these  was  his  duty,  and  not  neglected  by  him. 
He  devoted  all  his  natural  talents  to  God ;  he  exercis- 
ed them  diligently,  but  still  he  knew  and  acted  under 
the  influence  of  that  knowledge,  that  unless  the  Lord 
build  the  house,  the  builders  lose  their  pains ;  unless  the 
Lord  keep  tJie  city,  the  watchmen  watch  in  vain.  -  He,. 
as  well  as  worldly  men,  chose  the  means  best  adapt- 
ed to  the  end  proposed.  Let  natural  men  assert,  and 
let  it  be  admitted,  that  David  knew  better  how  to  use  a 
sling  and  a  stone,  than  mail,  helmet,  and  sword ;  there- 
fore he  chose  them.  But  follow  David  until  he  meet 
the  hostile  foe.  Do  we  hear  a  word  of  his  art  as  a 
slinger,  as  a  marksman  ?  Though  we  may  suppose  he 
was  expert  at  both.  Thou  earnest  to  me  with  a  sword, 
a  spear,  and  shield  ;  but  I  come  in  the  name  of  the  Lord 
of  hosts,  the  God  of  the  armies  of  Israel  whom  thou  hast 
defied';  and  this  assembly  shall  know,  that  the  Lord  saveih 
not  with  sword  and  spear,  (these  are  not  essential,)  for 
the  battle  is  the  LonPs,  and  He  will'  give  yoji  into  our 
hands. 

How  comfortably  might  Christians  go  through  life, 
did  they  walk  with  God  in  their  daily  business  and 
occupations,  carefully  observing  the  leadings  of  pro- 
vidence, cautiously  avoiding  either  running  before,  or 
lagging  behind ;  but  in  all  things  making  their  requests 
known  to  God  :  at  all  times  committing  their  way  to 
him,  being  careful  about  nothing,  but  to  use  with 
diligence  the  means  of  grace,  and  also  the  means  of 
acquiring  the  good  things  of  life,  leaving  the  issues  of 
both  to  God,  in  the  full  assurance  that  what  is  good 
the  Lord  will  give.  Trust  in  the  Lord,  and  do  good ; 
so  shalt  thou  dwell  in  the  land;  and  verily  thou  shalt  be 
fed.     In  spirituals  and  in  temporals,  the  hand  of  the  dili- 


DEVOTIONAL    EXERCISES.  #7 

gent  maketh  rich.     Be  ye  diligent  in  business,  fervent  in 
spirit,  serving  the  Lord. 

Lord,  teach  me  thy  law  graciously,  in  all  its  perfec- 
tion, its  extent,  order,  beauty  and  harmony,  and  grant 
me  all  the  assistance  provided  to  enable  a  lost,  deprav- 
ed, corrupted  child  of  Adam,  to  set  out  in  thy  o-ood 
ways,  to  go  forward,  and  to  finish  in  the  same  course  ; 
and  all  the  consolation,  joy,  and  peace,  which  thou  hast 
provided  to  be  enjoyed  in  a  measure  even  here,  and 
to  be  perfected  in  the  world  to  come.     Amen. 


Hosea,  xiv.  chapter.  O  Israel  return  unto  the  Lord, 
for  thou  hast  fallen  by  thine  iniquity.  Yes,  fallen,  O 
how  fallen  from  God  the  only  good,  the  fountain 
of  happiness  !  Lost  his  image,  which  was  the 
glory  of  man  in  Paradise !  Lost  that  sweet  com- 
placency and  delight  in  his  perfections  and  attri- 
butes, which  innocence  enjoyed !  Lost  rectitude  of 
reason  and  judgment  !  No  longer  can  we  judge  of 
excellence,  no  longer  love  what  God  loves.  Our  wills 
no  longer  straight  with  his  will,  but  crooked,  opposing 
God,  and  choosing  evil  instead  of  good.  Oh  Israel ! 
thou  hast  destroyed  thyself  but  in  me  is  thy  help.  Amen, 
says  my  soul,  in  thee  is  my  help. 

New-York,  October  3,  1793. 

Isaiah,  xliv.  5.  One  shall  say,  lam  the  Lord's,  and 
another  shall  call  himself  by  the  name  of  Jacob  ;  and  an- 
other shall  subscribe  with  his  hand  unto  the  Lord,  and  sur* 
name  himself  by  the  name  of  Israel. 

I,  as  one,  subscribe  to  the  truth  of  all  that  God  has 
said  :  I,  as  one,  subscribe  my  assent  to  all  he  has  done. 
I   set   my   Amen  to  his   well-ordered  covenant,    well 


88  DEVOTIONAL    EXERCISES. 

ordered  in  all  things  and  sure.  And  this  is  the  covenant, 
even  Christ,  the  sum  and  substance,  for  he  hath  given 
him  to  be  a  covenant  of  the  people.  The  whole  and 
every  part  of  it  is  God's  covenant.  To  me  it  must  be 
a  testament,  the  New  Testament  in  Christ's  blood. 
To  me  it  must  be  a  covenant  of  gifts  and  promises.  I 
can  be  of  no  party,  having  nothing  to  give ;  nothing 
with  which  to  covenant.  He  hath  said,  you  have  de- 
stroyed yourself,  but  in  me  is  your  help. 

Amen.     Be  my  help,  my  deliverer  ! 

Look  unto  me  all  ye  ends  of  the  earth  and  be  saved,  for 
I  am  God,  and  there  is  none  else.  I  do  look  unto  thee 
alone  for  salvation.  Thou  art  God,  there  is  none  else; 
beside  thee  there  is  no  Saviour. 

I ivillpour  water  on  the  thirsty,  and  floods  on.tlie  parch-  - 
ed  ground.     I  will  pour  my  Spirit  upon  thy  seed, '  and  my 
blessing  upon  thy  offspring.     Amen.     I  yield   my  soul 
into  thy  hand,  dry  and  parched,  to  receive  thy  show- 
ers of  reviving,  quickening,  'fructifying  grace. 


Mew-York,  FeL  10/  1794. 

This  day  I  have  a  letter  from  my  poor  wanderer. 
It  is  more  than  a  year  since  I  heard  of  him.  Accept 
of  my  thanks,  my  good  and  gracious  Lord.  '  I  feared 
his  cup  had  been  full,  and  he  called  out  of  the  world 
with  all  Ins  sins  on  his  own  head  ;  for  I  have  no  tidings 
of  his  turning  from  his  sinful  courses,  or  fleeing  from 
the  wrath  to  come,  by  taking  lipid  of  the  hope  set  be- 
fore him> 

I  bless  thee,  O  I  bless  thee,  for  thy  sparing  mercy, 
thy  long  suffering,  thy  patience,  thy  forbearance.  -Yea, 
even  to  him,  thou  hast  been  more  than  all  this.  Thou 
hast  been  his  preserver,  his  provider;  thou  hast  watch- 


DEVOTIONAL    EXERCISES.  "  89 

f^d  over  him  in  many   imminent  clangers,  in  the  great 
deeps,  in  burning  climes,  and  in  frozen  climes. 

Thou  hast  followed  him  with  thy  preserving  mercy 
and  temporal  bounty.  He  is  still  in  the  land  of  the  liv- 
ing, and  among  those  who  are  called  to  look  unto  thee 
and  live.-  Still  thou  feedest  my  hopes  of  better  things 
for  him.  Thou  sufferest  my  prayers  to  lie  on  the  table 
of  thy  covenant.  I  will  trust,  I  will  hope,  I  will  be- 
lieve, that  in  an  accepted  time,  thou  wilt  hear  me,  and 
in  a  day  of  thy  power,  thou  wilt  bow  his  stubborn  will, 
and  lay  him  an  humble  suppliant  at  thy  feet  O  I  trust 
thou  wilt  bring  this  poor  prodigal  to  himself,  and  turn 
his  steps  towards  his  Father's  house.  See  how  he  feeds 
with  the  swine  upon  husks,  and  even  these  not  his  own. 
O  turn  his  thoughts  to  his  father's  house,  where  there  is 
bread  enough,  and  to  spare. 

Lord,  remember  thy  gracious  word,  on  which  thou  hast 
caused  me  to  hope,  and  which  has  ever  been  my  com- 
fort in  the  time  of  my  affliction,  and  in  my  straits,  my 
only  relief. 

He  is  again  launched  into  thy  great  ocean ;  he  says 
he  goes  a  long  voyage.  Lord,  he  is  far  from  every 
friend,  and  from  every  mean  of  grace,  and  for  any 
thing  I  know,  far  from  thee  by  wicked  works ;  under 
thy  curse  and  hateful  in  thy  sight;  but  thou,  God, 
seest  him.  Means  are  not  necessary,  if  thou  wiliest 
to  work  without.  Thou  canst  find  an  avenue  to  his 
heart  at  once.  Dead  as  he  is,  vile  as  he  is,  guilty  as 
he  is,  far  from  help  of  man,  and  in  the  most  unlikely 
situation  to  receive  the  help  of  God.  Yet  I  know  all 
these  hinderances,  all  these  mountains,  shall  melt  as  wax 
at  thy  presence. 

Lord,  I  believe,  thou  knowest  I  believe,  that  if  thou 

M 


90  DEVOTIONAL    EXERCISES 

but  speak  the  word,  this  dead  soul  shall  live ;  this  vile, 
this  guilty  soul  shall  be  cleansed  ;  shall  be  renewed, 
and  he  be  changed  to  a  humble,  thankful,  genuine 
child  of  God,  through  the  cleansing  blood  of  atone- 
ment, through  the  imputation  of  the  Redeemer's 
righteousness,  and  the  implantation  of  thy  Spirit. 
I  can  do  nothing  for  him,  but  thou  canst  do  all  this. 
I  wait  for  it,  Lord,  I  wait  for  thy  salvation.  Lord,  lei 
there  be  joy  in  Heaven  oven  this  one  sinner  repenting. 
I  roll  him  on  thee,  I  trust  in  thy  sovereign,  free,  un- 
remited  mercy  in  Christ.     Amen. 


New-York,  October  1,  1794. 

Return  unto  thy  rest,  0  my  soul,  for  the  Lord  hath  dealt 
bountifully  with  thee. 

Blessed  be  the  Lord,  for  he  hath  skewed  me  his  marvel- 
ous loving  kindness  in  a  strong  city — Christ,  the  city  of 
Refuge. 

Thou  hast  given  me  my  heart's  desire,  and  hast  not 
withJiolden  the  request  of  .my  lips.  One  thing  have  I 
desired  of  the  Lord,  and  through  life  sought  after  for 
myself,  and  the  children  whom  thou  hast  given  me  ; 
that  all  the  days  of  our  lives,  ive  might  dwell  in  the  house 
of  the  Lord,  behold  his  beauty,  and  inquire  in  his  holy 
temple ;  that  in  the  time  of  trouble  he  would  hide  us 
in  his  pavilion,  in  the  secret  of  his  tabernacle,  and 
set  our  feet  upon  a  rock. 

O  thou  incarnate  God!  Thou  blessed  temple,  not 
made  with  hands  !  Thou  blessed  pavilion,  in  which 
thy  people  hide  in  the  time  of  trouble,  and  are  safe  ! 
Thou  rock  of  ages,  on  which  we  build  our  hopes  for 
time  and  eternity,  and  defy  the  assaults  of  sin,  Satan, 


DEVOTIONAL    EXERCISES.  91 

and  tile  world  !  Thou  Jehovah  Jesus,  art  all  these  to 
thy  people.  Thou  broughtest  them  from  a  fearful  pit, 
and  from  the  miry  clay  :  Thou  settest  their  feet  upon  this 
spiritual  rock,  and  establishest  their  goings  :  thou  puttest  a 
new  song  in  their  mouths,  even  praise  unto  their  God. 
Many  have  seen  it  and  sung  it,  many  now  see  and  sing 
it :  many  shall  see  and  sing  it,  and  trust  in  the  Lord. 
They  find  in  thee  all  that  is  expressive  of  life  ;  all  that 
is  expressive  of  safety ;  all  that  is  expressive  of  com- 
fort ;  all  that  is  expressive  of  happiness. 

O  how  many  are  thy  wonderful  ivorks  which  thou  hast 
done  ;  and  thy  thoughts  which  are  to  usward,  they  cannot 
be  reckoned  up  in  order  unto  thee  ;  if  I  would  declare, 
and  speak  of  them,  they  are  more  than  can  be  numbered. 
Thou,  thy  blessed  self,  art  the  sum  and  substance  of 
every  good  to  man.  All  this  I  know ;  all  this  have 
I  at  different  times  experienced,  and  yet  my  heart  is 
heavy,  my  spirits  depressed.  There  is  no  cause,  O  no ; 
thy  Very  afflictive  providences  have  met  my  wishes,  and 
been  so  many  answers  to  my  prayers. 

Thou  Husband  of  the  widow,  thou  Father  of  the 
fatherless  !  O  how  fully,  how  manifestly  hast  thou 
fulfilled  these  relations  to  thy  worthless  servant ! 

Thou,  in  my  early  widowhood,  called  upon  me  to 
leave  my  fatherless  children  on  thee,  annexing  the  promise 
that  thou  woiddst  save  them  alive. 

Thou  didst  put  it  into  my  heart  to  plead  the  pro- 
mise in  a  spiritual  sense ;  to  ask,  to  hope,  to  wait  for  the 
new  birth,  the  life  which  Christ  died  to  purchase,  and 
lives  to  bestow. 

In  three  of  these  fatherless,  I  have  seen  thy  work. 
Long  did  the  grain  of  mustard-seed  lie  buried  among 
the  weeds  of  worldly  mihdedness  ;  long  were  my  hopes 


92  DEVOTIONAL    EXERCISES. 

and  fears  alternate;  but  now  the  blessed  discipline  of 
the  Covenant  has  been  exercised ;  I  have  witnessed  it, 
I  have  felt  it ;  suffered  the  rod  with  them  and  for  them, 
but  waited  for  the  fruits  in  hope  ;  and  glory  to  thee, 
dear  Husband  and  Father,  I  have  not  waited  in  vain, 
Thou  has  written  vanity,  and  opened  our  eyes  to  read 
vanity,  written  on  every  earthly  enjoyment,  except  so 
far  as  thou  art  enjoyed  in  them.  Thou  hast  enabled 
not  only  thy  aged  servant,  but  thy  young  ones,  to  put 
a  blank  into  thy  hand,  and  to  say,  choose  thou  for 
us.  We  take  hold  of  thy  Covenant,  and  choose  it  for 
our  portion.  Is  not  this,  O  Lord,  the  full  amount  of 
my  desires  ?  Thou  wilt  finish  the  work  in  thy  own 
time,  and  by  means  of  thy  appointing.  Amen.  Lord 
do  as  thou  hast  said. 


October  A,  1795. 

Why,  ()'  why,  is  my  spirit  still  depressed  ?  why 
these  sobs  ?  Father,  forgive.  Jesus  wept.  I  weep,  but 
acquiesce.  This  day,  two  months,  the  Lord  delivered 
my  Jessie,  his  Jessie,  from  a  body  of  sin  and  death, 
finished  the  good  work  he  had  begun,  perfected  what 
concerned  her,  trimmed  her  lamp,  and  carried  her  tri- 
umphing through  the  valley  of  the  shadow  of  death. 
She  ovrecame  through  the  blood  of  the  Lamb.  " : 

I  rejoiced  in  the  Lord's  work,  and  was  thankful  that 
the  one,  the  only  thing,  I  had  asked  for  her,  wras  now 
completed.  I  saw  her  delivered  from  much  corruption 
within,  from  strong  and  peculiar  temptation  without. 
I  had  seen  her  often  staggering,  sometimes  falling 
under  the  rod ;  I  had  heard  her  earnestly  -wish 
for  deliverance  from  sin,  and  when  death  approach- 


DEVOTIONAL    EXERCISES.  93 

ed,  she  was  more  than-  satisfied ;  said  she  had  been  a 
great  sinner,  but  she  had  a  great  Saviour;  praised 
him,  and  thanked  him,  for  all  his  dealings  with  her : 
for  hedging  her  in,  for  chastising  her  ;  and  even 
prayed  that  sin  and  corruption  might  be  destroyed  if 
the  body  should  be  dissolved  to  effect  it,  The  Lord 
fulfilled  her  desire,  and  I  may  add,  mine.  He  lifted 
upon  her  the  light  of  his  countenance ;  revived  her 
languid  graces ;  increased  her  faith  and  hope ;  loosed 
her  from  earthly  concerns ;  and  made  her  rejoice  in 
the  stability  of  his  Covenant,  and  to  sing,  "  all  is  well, 
all  is  well,  good  is  the  will  of  the  Lord."  I  did  rejoice, 
I  do  rejoice  ;  but  O  Lord,  thou  knowest  my  frame ; 
she  was  my  pleasant  companion,  my  affectionate  child  : 
my  soul  feels  a  want.  O  fill  it  up  with  more  of  thy 
presence,  give  yet  more  communications  of  thyself. 

We  are  yet  one  in  Christ  our  head ;  united  in  him  : 
and  although  she  shall  not  return  unto  me,  I  shall  o-o 
to  her,  and  then  our  communion  will  be  more  full, 
more  delightful,  as  it  will  be  perfectly  free  from  sin. 
Christ  shall  be  our  bond  of  union,  and  we  shall  be  fully 
under  the  influence  of  it. 

Let  me  then  gird  up  the  loins  of  my  mind,  and  set 
forward  to  serve  my  day  and  generation,  to  finish  my 
course'.  The  Lord  icill  perfect  what  concerns  me,  and 
when  it  shall  please  him,  he  will  unclothe  me,  break 
down  these  prison  walls,  and  admit  me  into  the  happy 
society  of  his  redeemed  and  glorified  members :  then 
shall  he  wipe  away  all  tears  from  my  eyes,  and  I  shall 
taste  the  joys  which  are  at  his  right  hand,  and  be 
satisfied  for  ever  more. 


94  DEVOTIONAL    EXERUSLS, 

January  3,  17  96. 

Philippians  iv.  4.  Rejoice  in  the  Lord  ahvay,  and 
again  I  say  rejoice.  Let  your  moderation  be  known  unto 
all  men,  the  Lord  is  at  hand. 

Be  careful  for  nothing,  but  in  every  thing,  by  prayer 
and  supplication  ivith  thanksgiving,  let  your  requests  be 
made  known  unto  God.  And  the  peace  of  God  which 
passeth  all  understanding,  shall  keep  your  hearts  and  minds 
through  Christ  Jesus. 

Christ  Jesus ! — what  does  not  this  name  comprehend ! 
He  is  mine,  and  all  is  mine.  I  do  rejoice  in  the  Lord, 
yea,  more  or  less  I  rejoice  always.  This  heart  of  mine 
is  sensible  to  every  human  affliction ;  my  tears  flow  often 
and  fast  :  I  weep  for  myself,  and  still  more  for  others  ; 
but  in  these  very  moments  of  heart-wringing  bitterness, 
there  is  a  secret  joy,  that  my  Jesus  is  near:  that  he 
sees,  knows,  and  pities.  That  he  is  Jehovah  as  well  as 
Jesus,  could  have  prevented  the  affliction  under  which 
I  groan;  but  for  my  good,  and  the  good  of  those  near 
and  dear  to  me,  he  suffered  it,  or  prepared  it.  The 
good  of  his  people  is  connected  with  his  glory,  they 
cannot  be  separated  :  therefore,  Father,  glorify  thy 
name ;  I  rejoice,  and  will  rejoice.  The  Lord  can 
remove,  and  will  remove  the  affliction,  the  moment  it 
has  answered  the  gracious  purpose  for.  which  it  was 
sent.  I  would  not  wish  it  one  moment  sooner.  While 
it  lies  heavy,  he  is  my  Almighty  friend*  my  rest,  my 
staff  of  support. 

In  time  of  trouble  he  shall  hide  me  in  his  pavilion  ;  in 
the  secret  of  his  tabernacle  shall  he  hide  me  ;  he  shall  set 
me  up  upon  a  rock,  Psalm  xxvii.  5. 

The  Lord  is  mu  strength  and  my  shield;-  my  heart 
trusted  in  him,  and  I  am  helped,  therefore  my  heart  greatly 


DEVOTIONAL    EXERCISES.  95 

rejoiceth,  with  my  song  I  will  praise  him,  and  in  his 
strength,  and  by  his  grace,  let  my  moderation  be  known 
unto  all  men.  My  Lord  is  at  hand,  at  hand  to  support, 
at  hand  to  overrule,  at  hand  to  deliver.     Therefore  I 

rejoice  always. 

Blessed  be  God  for  the  heart  easing,  heart  soothing 
privilege,  of  casting  all  my  cares  upon  him,  and  for  the 
blessed  assurance  that  he  careth  for  me  and  mine  :  that 
he  allows,  invites,  yea  commands  me  to  be  careful  for 
nothing,  but  in  all  things,  by  prayer  and  supplication  with 
thanksgiving,  to  let  my  request  be  made  known  unto  him, 
icho  is  man,  and  touched  with  the  feeling  of  our  infirmi- 
ties, (Jesus  wept,)  and  God,  the  Almighty  God,  to 
support,  overrule,  deliver.  Therefore  my  heart  rejoic- 
eth  always. 

May  28,  1796. 
This  is  the  Anniversary  of  my  dear  Jessie's  birth,  no 
more  to  call  us  together  on  earth  ;  but  I  yet  remember 
it,  as  a  day  in  which  our  God  was  merciful  to  me,  and 
made  me  the  mother  of  an  heir  of  salvation.  I  bless. 
I  praise,  my  covenant  God,  who  enabled  me  to  dedi- 
cate her  to  him  before  she  was  born,  and  to  ask 
only  one  thing  for  her,  as  for  myself,  even  an  interest  in 
his  great  salvation,  leaving  it  to  him  to  order  the 
means,  time,  and  manner,  as  of  her  natural  birth,  and 
ripening  age,  so  of  her  spiritual  birth,  and  ripening 
for  glory;  he  accepted  the  charge,  and  he  has  finished 
the  work,  to  his  own  glory,  to  her  eternal  happiness, 
and  my  joy  and  comfort.  I  have  witnessed  remaining 
corruption  fighting  hard  against  her,  and  bringing 
her  again  and  again  into  captivity  to  the  law  of  sin  and 
death,  warring  against  her.     I  have  witnessed  the  rod  of 


96  DEVOTIONAL    EXERCISES. 

God  lie  heavy  upon  her,  according  to  the  tenor  of  the 
Covenant,  when  she  forsook  his  laws  and  went  astray : 
when  she  walked  not  in  his  judgments,  but  wandered 
from  his  way,  he  visited  her  faults  with  rods,  and  her  sins 
tvith  chastisements,  but  his  loving  kindness  he  never  took 
from  her,  (though  he  often  hid  it,)  nor  altered  the  word 
which  he  had  spoken,  that  he  would  never  leave  her, 
never  forsake  her  ;  that  in  due  time  he  would  deliver  her 
from  all  her  enemies,  I  witnessed  her  desires  to  be 
delivered  from  the  world,  and  the  body,  and  taken 
home  to  the  bosom  of  her  God;  since  that  appeared 
at  times,  the  only  way  she  could  be  delivered  from 
sin.  I  witnessed  her  lamenting  her  unfruitfulness,  her 
unsteadiness :  I  heard  her  exclaim,  "  Oh,  what  a  sin- 
ner !  what  a  great  sinner!"  and  "  Oh  what  a  Saviour!- 
O  the  goodness  of  God  in  hedging  me  in,  and  saving 
me  from  myself;  his  Covenant  stands  fast,  it  is  esta- 
blished, it  is  sure."  I  witnessed  a  God  pardoning  gin, 
yet  taking  vengeance  on  inventions.  I  witnessed  the 
sinner,  after  being  sixteen  years,  in  the  school  of 
Christ,  (taught  by  his  ministers,  and  most  effectually 
by  his  rod,)  taking  shelter  in  the  city  of,  refuge,  in  the 
atonement  of  God's  providing,  and  in  a  surety  right- 
eousness,  and  finishing  her  struggles  with  "  all  is  well  ?" 
my  heart  echoed,  and  does  echo,  and  will  to  all  eter- 
nity, "  all  is  well."  Glory  to  God,  sing  not  unto  her, 
not  unto  me,  not  unto  any  creature,  but  to  God  be  the 
glory,  that  she  is  now  delivered  from  a  body  of  sin  and 
death,  and  made  meet  to  be  a  partaker  with  the  saints  in 
light.    HALLELUJAH. 


DEVOTIONAL    EXERCISES.  97 

June,  1796. 

Psalm  cxxii.  /  was  glad  when  they  said  unto  me,  Let 
us  go  into  the  house  of  the  Lord. 

The  house  of  the  Lord — whither  the  tribes  go  up,  the 
tribes  of  the  Lord  unto  the  testimony  of  Israel,  to  give 
thanks  unto  the  name  of  the  Lord,  to  seek  his  face,  to 
learn  his  will,  to  taste  his  love,  to  behold  his  glory, 
to  enjoy  God  as  their  own  God,  and  reconciled 
Father. 

Lord !  let  my  heart  be  warmed  more  towards  thy 
house;  I  have  sought  and  found  thee  in  thy  sanctuary, 
read  thy  providences,  and  been  taught  thy  will ;  I  have 
tasted  thy  love,  and  beheld  thy  glory ;  I  have  enjoyed 
thy  presence  as  my  own  reconciled  Father  in  Christ 
Jesus  ;  I  have  been  satisfied  with  thy  goodness,  as  with 
marrow  and  fatness,  and  yet  how  cold  and  languid  at 
times,  how  little  desire  to  return,  how  small  my  expec- 
tations, how  wandering  my  imagination  !  how  do  I  sit 
before  thee  as  thy  people,  and  my  heart  with  the  fools 
eyes  at  the  ends  of  the  earth !  Lord,  I  would  blush 
and  be  ashamed,  were  a  fellow  mortal  to  see  my  heart 
at  times.  I  may  hide  my  eyes  from  viewing  vanity,  but 
the  evil  lies  within.  O  Lord,  thou  knowest  the  cause  : 
for  all  I  have  heard,  seen,  tasted,  and  handled  of  the 
word  of  life,  I  am  still  of  myself  an  empty  vessel, 
unable  to  speak  a  good  word  or  think  a  good  thought. 
Great  are  thy  tender  mercies,  O  Lord.  Quicken  me 
according  to  thy  word ;  turn  thou  away  my  eyes  from  he- 
holding  vanity,  and  quicken  me  in  thy  way :  then  shall  I 
run  in  the  way  of  thy  commandments,  when  thou  haul 
enlarged  my  heart. 

The  house  of  God — the  owner,  the  builder,  and 
maker  is  God,  and  it  is  his  peculiar  treasure.  Christ 
is    the    foundation,    and    chief    corner    stone,  and  his 

N 


98  DEVOTIONAL    EXERCISES. 

house  are  we,  built  upon  him,  cemented  together  a  spi- 
ritual building ;  the  foundation  cannot  fail,  the  corner 
stone  can  never  give  way ;  neither  can  we  fall  to  pie- 
ces, or  be  separated  from  him. 

The  house  of  God-— Jerusalem,  Zion,  the  rest  of  God, 
where  he  delights  to  dwell,  where  he  will  for  ever  stay ; 
the  house  of  God,  the  Church,  yea  the  body  of  Christ : 
Christ  the  head,  his  people  the  churchy  his  members* 
whose  life  is  in  him,  and  derived  from  him  ;  and 
because  he  lives,  we  shall  live  also.  Lord,  enlarge 
my  understanding,  to  comprehend  more  and  more  of 
the  height,  and  depth,  length  and  breadth  of  the  love  of 
Christ,  which  passeth  all  understanding.  Open  my  eyes  to 
behold  wondrous  things  in  thy  law,  (Gospel.)  I  am  as 
yet  but  a  babe :  Glory  to  God  that  I  am  what  I  am;  a 
babe  in  Christ.  I  shall  be  nourished  with  life  and 
strength  from  my  divine  head ;  educated  and  nurtured 
by  the  blessings  of  the  new  Covenant.  I  shall  arrive 
at  that  perfection  of  stature  appointed;  and  stand  in 
my  lot  at  the  latter  day.  Amen. 


May  16,  1796. 
Psalm  lxxxix.  30.  If  his  children  forsake  my  laws, 
and  walk  not  in  my  judgments :  if  they  break  my  statutes, 
and  keep  not  my  commandments^  then  will  I  visit  their 
transgression  with  the  rod,  and  their  iniquity  with  stripes  : 
nevertheless,  my  loving  kindness  will  I  not  utterly  take 
from  them,  nor  suffer  my  faithfulness  to  fail;  my  covenant 
will  I  not  break,  nor  alter  the  thing  that  is  gone  out  of  my 
lips.  Amen.  Blessed  promise !  O  it  is  a  welly  ordered 
Covenant,  and  it  is  sure.  Of  all  the  provision  of  the 
Covenant,  this  has  been  to  my  soul  among  the  most 
comfortable.     Thanks  be  to.  God  for  the  discipline  of 


DEVOTIONAL    EXERCISES.  99 

the  Covenant ;  often  has  it  been  administered.  Thou 
knowest,  and  I  know  in  part  how  necessarily,  although 
I  shall  not  know,  nor  understand  all,  until  that  blessed 
rod  shall  have  perfected  its  correction,  and  shall  never 
more  be  lifted  up. 

Many  ups  and  downs  has  thy  servant  experienced  in 
this  vale  of  tears ;  many  tears  have  watered  these  now 
aged  cheeks ;  in  variety  of  ways  hast  thou  stricken, 
and  at  times  stripe  has  followed  stripe,  but  mercy  and 
love  accompanied  every  one  of  them.  I  bless  thee  ; 
O  I  praise  thee,  that  I  have  seldom  received  a  stripe 
but  I  had  with  it  a  token  of  love.  Sin  was  embittered, 
a  Saviour  endeared,  and  grace  given  to  kiss  the  rod, 
and  cleave  to  him  that  had  appointed  it.  And  now  1 
can  read  in  legible  characters,  where  in  many  instan- 
ces thy  checks  met  my  wandering  steps,  and  stopt  me 
short  of  huge  precipices,  preserved  me  from  destroy- 
ing even  my  worldly  comfort.  In  some  instances,  (I 
thank  thee  they  have  not  been  many ;)  thou  hast  been 
pleased  to  let  me  alone,  to  let  me  pursue  my  own  way ; 
ways  so  wise  in  my  own  eyes,  that  I  have  either  not 
sought  counsel  at  all,  or  sought  it  as  Balaam  did,  with 
my  heart  set  on  my  own  will. 

In  some  cases,  thou  hast  let  me  eat  of  the  fruit  of  my 
own  doings,  and  let  me  weary  myself  in  my  own  way, 
until  I  found  it  not  only  vanity  and  vexation  of  spirit, 
but  sometimes  a  labyrinth  from  which  I  could  find  no 
escape :  then  did  I  cry  unto  the  Lord :  then  did  I  re- 
member my  backslidings :  then  did  I  seek  unto  the 
cleansing  fountain,  and  to  the  appointed  Mediator,  the 
maker  up  of  the  breach :  then  did  I  experience  afresh 
the  Lord's  power  to  save. 

In  how  many  instances  has  he  given  a  sudden  turn 
to  providences,  which  have  been  made  means  of  my 


100  DEVOTIONAL    EXERCISES. 

deliverance ;  not  only  so,  but  brought  good  out  of  my 
evil,  so  that  I  have  been  made  to  wonder,  and  to  say, 
surely  this  is  the  finger  of  God. 

I  destroy  myself,  but  in  thee  is  my  help  found.  O 
let  these  wanderings  end  :  fix  it  deep  on  my  mind,  that 
in  the  Lord  only  have  I  wisdom  as  well  as  strength : 
that  it  is  not  in  man  that  walketh  to  direct  his  steps.  O 
when  shall  I  learn  to  live  simply  on  Christ,  by  the  light 
of  his  pure  unerring  word,  and  the  Spirit  coinciding; 
and  have  done  with  these  carnal  reasonings,  the  wis- 
dom of  men  !  Search  me,  O  Lord,  and  know  my  heart ; 
try  me  and  know  my  thoughts,  and  see  if  there  he  any 
wicked  way  in  me,  and  lead  me  in  the  way  everlasting. 
Amen. 

August  4,  1796.      V 

A  DAY  TO  BE  REMEMBERED  ! 

Rose  at  four,  not  to  mourn :  no,  but  to  repeat  jriy 
grateful  thanks  to  my  covenant  God,  for  the  work  he 
finished  this  day,  last  year.  In  delivering  my  weak, 
feeble,  tossed,  and  tried  Jessie  from  a  body  of  sin 
and  death,  and  giving  her  the  victory  through  Jesus  Christ, 
u-ho  loved  her  and  gave  himself  for  her.  To  thee  she 
was  dedicated  ere  she  saw  the  light ;  to  thee  a  thou- 
sand  times  I  repeated  the  dedication,,  begging  that  ' 
thou  mightest  bring  her  within  the  bond  of  thy  Cove- 
nant: this  was.  the  sum  and  substance  of  all  my  ask-  # 
ings  for  her,  and  all  of  them.  I  witnessed  the  time  of  her 
second  birth,  saw  the  tears  of  conviction  and  remorse. 
Fwitnessed  thy  loosing  her  bonds,  and  tuning  her  heart 
and  tongue  to  praise  redeeming  love.  I  witnessed  the 
leaching  of  thy  Spirit,  and  the  enlightening  "of  her 
eyes,  and  the  taste  thou  gavest  her  of  thy  salvation ; 
1  thought  her  mountain  stood  strong,  and  she  would  not 


DEVOTIONAL    EXERCISES.  J01 

be  easilj  moved:  but  who  can  tell  the  deceitfulness  of 
the  human  heart  ?  Too  soon  did  we  all  turn  aside  like  a 
deceitful  bow,  forsook  the  fountain  of  living  waters,  and 
hewed  out  broken  cisterns  that  could  hold  no  water.  Glory 
to  God  for  the  discipline  of  the  Covenant,  that  he  did 
not  cast  us  off,  but  chastised  and  corrected.  He 
repeated  the  discipline  stripe  upon  stripe  ;  I  stood  by 
and  saw  it,  and  though  my  heart  melted  at  times 
f  said,  u  she  is  in  her  Father's  hand,  let  him  do  his 
pleasure."  I  too  was  unfaithful  to  her,  thou  knowest, 
and  often  entered  into  the  same  vanity  of  mind  which 
stifled  the  love  of  God  in  our  hearts,  instead  of  guard- 
ing her,  and  warning  her;  still,  still,  the  Shepherd  of 
Israel  followed  after  both,  and  with  the  precious  rod 
restored  both,  time  after  time,  till  it  pleased  thee  to 
finish  her  warfare  and  deliver  her  from  both  body  and 
sin.  Lord,  I  thank  thee  for  all  the  circumstances,  for 
the  privilege  of  attending  her  in  her  warfare,  for  the 
cheerfulness  of  her  spirits,  for  the  rich  support  we  all 
experienced,  for  the  view  we  all  had  of  thy  faithful- 
ness and  fatherly  dealing,  and  for  her  last  words, 
"  all  is  well."  O  yes !  every  thing  thou  doest  is  well, 
and  this  was  peculiarly  well.  I  resigned  her  to  thee 
with  joy  and  thankfulness,  and  I  still  acquiesce.  Her 
thou  hast  taken,  me  thou  hast  left,  to  be  yet  exercised 
with  further  discipline.  It  is  well — thy  will  be  done.  O  ! 
help  me  to  profit  by  every  pang !  O  let  sin  be  mortifi- 
ed, and  my  soul  purified  ;  enlarge  my  heart  to  run  the 
ways  of  thy  commandments.  Now  may  /  lay  aside 
every  weight,  and  that  vanity  of  mind  which  doth  so 
easily  beset  me,  and  hath  been  the  secret  spring  of  much 
backsliding  both  to  myself  and  to  my  children.  Lord, 
destroy  it.  O  let  me  now  live  to  God,  closely  and  con- 
sistently ;  down  with  my  will,  with  self  in  every  form  ! 


102  DEVOTIONAL    EXERCISES. 

O  purify  my  motives,  and  let  my  whole  heart,  soul, 
body,  substance,  and  influence  in  the  world,  be  devo- 
ted to  thee  !  O  empty  me  of  every  thing  that  is  my 
own,  and  let  Christ  live  in  me,  the  hope  of  glory -,  and 
let  the  glory  of  thy  workmanship  in  my  soul,  redound 
to  thee,  and  thee  alone  !     Amen. 


August  13,  1796. 

Colossians,  ii.  G.  As  ye  have  received  Christ  Jesus 
the  Lord,  so  walk  ye  in  him,  rooted  and  built  up  in  him, 
and  stablished  in  the  faith,  as  ye  have  been  taught,  abound- 
ing therein  with  thanksgiving. 

O  Lord,  this  is  what  I  pant  after  !  I  would  fain  have 
done  with  wandering.  Lord,  thou  knowest,  for  the 
work  is  thine.  I  have  received  the  Lord  Jesus  as  thy 
gift  to  a  lost  world,  as  thy  gift  to  me,  an  individual  of 
that  world  ;  as  having  made  peace  by  the  blood  of  the 
cross,  I  account  it  a  faithfut  saying,  worthy  of  all  ac- 
ceptation that  Christ  came  into  the  ivorld  to  save  sinners, 
of  whom  I  am  chief,  I  have  received  thee  as  the  Lord 
my  righteousness,  crediting  thy  own  word,  Christ  is 
the  end  of  the  law  for  righteousness,  and  that  there  is  no 
condemnation  to  them  that  are  in  Christ  Jesus*  I  have 
received  thee  as  the  covenant  given  of  tlie  people.  In  all 
the  relations  by  which  thou  art  held  out  to  me  in  this 
Bible,  so  far  as  I  know,  or  understand,  I  have  receiv- 
ed thee.  I  have  no  hope  in  myself,  no  trust  in  myself, 
nor  any  views  of  communication  from  God  of  any  kind, 
but  through  the  one  mediator  between  God  and  man,  the 
man  Christ  Jesus. 

O  my  God,  what  is  my  life,  what  is  my  happiness, 
but  a  continual  receiving!  Thou  art  the  bread  of  life, 
that  must  keep  alive  the  living  principle  in  my  soul.     In 


DEVOTIONAL    EXERCISES.  103 

thee  dwelleth  all  the  fulness  of  the  Godhead  bodily.  Thy 
people  are  complete  in  thee ;  thou  art  their  head,  they 
are  thy  body,  and  by  joints  and  bands  have  nourish- 
p  ment  ministered  to  them,  and  are  knit  together,  and 
increase  with  the  increase  of  God. 

This,  O  this,  is  what  my  soul  pants  after,  closer  and 
more  intimate  union  and  communion.  I  would  be 
transformed  into  thine  image  ;  I  would  be  thy  temple  ;  I 
would  have  thee  live  in  me ;  walk  in  me  ;  make  me  one 
with  thee  :  I  would  be  delivered  from  self-will,  self- 
wisdom,  self-seeking :  I  would  be  delivered  from  that 
philosophy  and  vain  deceit,  which  spoils  souls,  and  leads 
them  off  from  their  head.  Lord,  teach  me  a  continual 
receiving ;  then,  and  not  till  then,  shall  I  cease  to  wan- 
der, shall  run  and  not  be  weary,  walk  and  not  faint.  Then 
shall  I  run  in  the  way  of  thy  commandments,  and  no  longer 
turn  aside  to  crooked  ways.  Then  shall  I  eat  and 
drink,  work  and  recreate  all  to  thy  glory.  Lord,  send 
thy  Spirit  into  my  heart,  that  he  may  continually  take 
of  the  things  of  Christ,  and  shew  them  unto  me ;  that  I 
may  grow,  and  be  no  longer  a  babe,  but  arrive  at 
fulness  of  stature  in  Christ  Jesus,  and  more  steadily, 
and  more  purely,  and  more  zealously,  and,  O  !  more 
humbly,  live  to  God,  and  glorify  him  in  the  world. 
Amen. 


Aprils,  1797. 

*■• 

Eternity  seems  very  near.  I  have  often  thought  so, 
without  any  visible  cause.  Well,  it  will  come  ;  a  few 
more  rolling  years,  months,  weeks,  or  days,  will  as- 
suredly land  me  on  Canaan's  happy  shore.  O  then, 
shall  I  know  and  enjoy,  what  ear  hath  not  hoard,  eye 
seen,  nor  heart  conceived,  even  the  blessedness  that  is 


104  DEVOTIONAL    EXERCISES. 

at  God's  right  hand.  I  have  desired,  although  I  know 
not  that  I  have  asked,  to  glorify  God  on  my  death  bed, 
and  to  leave  my  testimony  at  the  threshold  of  eternity, 
that  not  one  word  of  all  that  my  God  has  promised  | 
has  failed.  He  has  been,  O  what  has  he  not  been  ! 
In  all  my  trials,  all  my  afflictions,  all  my  temptations, 
all  my  wanderings,  all  my  backslidings,  he  has  been 
all  that  the  well-ordered  covenant  has  said.  Let  this 
Bible  tell,  what  God  in  Christ,  by  his  Spirit  and  his 
providence,  has  been  to  me ;  and  let  the  same  Bible 
say,  what  he  will  be  to  me,  when  flesh  and  heart  fails  ; 
yea,  when  the  place  that  now  knoivs  me,  shall  knoiv  me  no 
more.  Perhaps,  when  the  messenger  does  come,  I 
shall  not  know  him,  but  depart  in  silence.  Well,  as 
the  Lord  wills,  he  knows  best  how  to  glorify  himself.  , 
Jesus  shall  trim  my  lamp,  and  perfect  his  image  on  my 
soul,  sensible  or  insensible.  I  shall  enter  into  his  pre- 
sence,, washed  in  his  blood,  clothed  in  his  righteous- 
ness, and  my  sanctification  perfected.  I  shall  see  him  as 
he  is,  and  be  like  him. 

Mourn  not,  my  children,  but  rejoice ;  gird  up  the 
loins  of  your  mind,  and  set  forward  on  your  heavenly 
journey  through  this  wilderness.  So  far  as  I  have  fol- 
lowed Christ,  so  far  follow  my  example  ;  still  living  on 
Christ,  depending  on  him  for  all  that  is  promised  in  the 
well-ordered  covenant.  O  stumble  not  iiito  the  world, 
except  when  duty  calls  ;  at  best  it  is  a  deadly  weight, 
a  great  hinderance  to  spiritual  mindedness,  and  in  as  far 
as  it  gets  footing  in  your  heart,  it  will  not  only  mar 
your  progress,  but  your  comfort.  Lord,  feed  my  chil- 
dren constantly  with  thy  flesh  and  thy  blood,  that  they 
may  never  hunger  nor  thirst  for  this  world,  hut -grow 
in  the  divine  life,  and  in  the  joy  and  comfort  of  the 
Holy  Ghost.     Amen. 


DEVOTIONAL    EXERCISES.  1O.0 

October  20,  1797. 

How  condescending  is  our  covenant  God  !  All  we 
have  or  enjoy,  is  from  his  hand  ;  he  gave  us  our  being  ; 
our  lives,  although  forfeited  a  thousand  times,  have 
been  preserved.  Our  bread  has  been  given  us,  and  our 
water  sure;  and  not  only  these  necessaries,  but  many 
comforts,  and  good  temporal  things  have  fallen  to  our 
lot;  thou  hast  furnished  our  table;  hast  provided  medi- 
cines and  cordials  when  sick.  Lord,  I  thank  thee  for  all 
these  mercies,  but  above  all,  that  we  can  call  thee  our 
reconciled  Father;  that  we  have  them  not  as  the 
world  have  them,  who  are  far  from  thee,  and  have  no 
portion  among  thy  children,  nor  interest  in  thy  well- 
ordered  covenant ;  but  that  we  have  them  as  thy  re- 
deemed, as  part  of  covenant  provision,  and  with  a  co- 
venant blessing,  and  among  the  all  things  that  work  to- 
gether for  our  good.  Lord,  enable  us  to  be  rich  in 
good  works.  How  condescending, '  that  thou  acceptest 
a  part  of  thine  own  as  free-will  offerings,  and  hast  an- 
nexed promised  blessings  to  those  who  consider  the  poor; 
hast  condescendingly  said,  he  icho  gives  to  the  poor, 
lends  to  the  Lord. 

I  thank  thee,  that  thou  hast  laid  to  hand  a  sufficien- 
cy, to  enable  me  and  mine  to  eat  our  own  bread ;  even 
that,  which,  according  to  the  regulations  of  society, 
men  call  our  own.  Thou  only  hast  a  right  to  call  it  not 
so,  for  we  are  thine,  and  all  that  thou  hast  given  us  ; 
but  of  thy  free  bounty  and  kind  providence,  thou  hast 
laid  to  hand  a  sufficiency  to  provide  things  honest  and  of 
good  report  in  the  sight  of  all  men,  and  part  to  give  to 
them  who  need. 

I  trust  thy  Spirit  has  directed  my  judgment  in  the 
determination  I  have  taken,  to  set  apart  from  time  to 

O 


10G  DEVOTIONAL    EXERCISES. 

time,  this  portion,  according  as  thou  prosperest  us  in 
business,  and  preservest  us  in  health  and  ability  to  pur- 
sue it.  I  bless  thee  for  indulgent,  encouraging  ap- 
pearances, that  since  I  began  the  practice,  thou  hast 
added  to  my  stock,  and  that  which  I  have  given,  has 
never  straitened,  but  thou  hast  prospered  more  and 
more.  My  poor's  purse  has  never  been  empty  when 
called  for,  neither  has  my  family  purse.  Of  thine  own 
I  give  thee,  and  bless  thy  name  for  the  privilege. 

Grant    direction   with  respect   to   whom,  and  how 
much  to  give. 

1797. 

As  ye  have  received  the  Lord  Jesus,  so  walk  in  him, 
rooted  and  built  up  in  him,  and  stablished  in  the  faith,  as; 
ye  have  been  taught,  abounding  therein  with  thanksgiving. 
Yes,  just  so,  and  no  other  way,  shall  any  poor  cor- 
rupted creature  attain  holiness,  in  the  very  same  man- 
ner that  he  received  the  Lord  Jesus  at  first.  He  is 
the  Alpha  and  Omega,  the  first  and  the  last,  thebeginning 
and  the  ending. 

O  Lord,  my  Saviour,  my  complete  Saviour,  and  in 
whom  1  am  complete  !  I  received  thee  as  my  expiatory 
sacrifice,  by  whom  atonement  was  made  for  my 
sins ;  by  whom  reconciliation  was  made  ;  I,  recon- 
ciled to  God,  and  God  to  me.  I  was  then  deli- 
vered from  the  power  of  darkness,  and  translated 
into  the  kingdom  of  God's  dear  son,  and  have 
redemption  through  his  blood,  even  the  forgive- 
ness of  'sins.  This  same  blood  must  cleanse  my  daily 
spots,  must  cleanse  my  very  best  services ;  this  same 
blood  must  cleanse  my  conscience  daily,  and  give  me 
confidence  in  God,  as  my  reconciled  father.     By  this 


DEVOTIONAL    EXERCISES,  107 

same  peace-speaking  blood,  I  daily  present  myself  in 
his  presence,  and  know  that  he  sees  no  iniquity  in  me, 
so  as  to  condemn  me. 

O  Lord,  I  received  thee  as  my  justifying  righteous- 
ness, disclaiming  all  confidence  in  my  own  works, 
throwing  them  aside  as  filthy  rags.  I  placed  my  sole 
dependence  upon  an  imputed  righteousness ;  thai 
righteousness,  wrought  out  by  thee  as  my  surety,  in 
thy  holy  meritorious  life  and  death :  believing  thy  tes- 
timony, that  the  wages  of  sin  is  death,  but  the  gift  of  God 
is  eternal  life  through  Jesus  Christ  our  Lord,  Just  so 
must  I  go  on,  trusting  in,  resting  upon,  rejoicing  in, 
the  Lord,  my  righteousness.  By  one  maris  offence  many 
were  made  sinners,  so  by  the  obedience  of  one  shall  many 
(and  I  among  others)  be  made  righteous.  Christ  is  the 
end  of  the  law  for  righteousness,  therefore  I  walk  at  li- 
berty, free  from  all  dread  of  condemnation.  Not  as  a 
slave ;  not  as  a  servant ;  not  as  an  hireling ;  not  as  a 
probationer ;  but  as  a  son,  and  heir  of  God,  to  whom 
the  inheritance  is  made  sure.  I  have  received  the  seal 
of  the  testament,  ratified,  and  made  sure,  by  the  death 
of  the  testator.  All  the  blessings  contained  in  this 
Bible,  the  records  of  the  well-ordered  covenant,  are 
mine:  and,  O  glorious  truth!  The  testator  died  to 
ratify  and  ensure  this  testament ;  but  he  lives  again,  the 
glorious  executor. 

O  Lord,  I  received  thee  as  my  king:  depending 
upon  promised  strength,  I  swore  allegiance  to  thee, 
and  to  thy  government.  Just  so,  my  dear  sovereign 
Master,  must  I  go  on ;  rejoicing  in  its  privileges, 
subjecting  myself  cheerfully  to  its  restrictions;  studying 
with  care  its  positive  commands,  and  setting  myself  to 
obey;    submitting    with    meekness   to    its  discipline; 


108 


DEVOTIONAL    EXERCISES. 


claiming  thy  kingly  power  to  subdue  the  corruptions  oi' 
my  heart,  to  defend  from  foes  within  and  foes  without ; 
and  when  thou  callest  me  to  fight,  to  arm  me  for  battle, 
and  to  lead  me  on  to  victory. 

I  received  thee  as  my  divine  Saviour,  as  the  covenant 
of  the  people;  the  covenant  arranged,  ratified,  and 
fulfilled ;  to  me  a  covenant  of  free  gift.  Receiving 
thee,  I  received  all  the  promises  in  their  fullest  extent, 
as  legally  made  over,  and  confirmed  to  me  by  the  irre- 
vocable gift  of  Deity ;  and  in  thee,  as  toy  Saviour, 
dwelleth  all  the  fulness  of  the  Godhead  bodily.  Yes, 
dwelleth  in  him  for  his  people,  his  ransomed  ;  dwelleth 
in  him  as  our  head ;  we  are  united  to  him,  one  with 
him,  as  he  and  the  father  are  one,  and  being  one  with 
him,  we  are  complete  in  him  :  He  is  the  head,  we  the 
members  ;  he  is  the  vine,  we  the  branches  :  He  is  the 
foundation  and  chief  corner  stone,  we  the  building. 
Thus' let  us  walk  in  him;  rooted  and  built  up  in  him; 
filled  with  the  knowledge  of  his  will,  in  all  wisdom  and 
spiritual  understanding ;  walking  worthy  of, the  Lord, 
unto  all  pleasing — being  fruitful  in  every  good  work, 
and  increasing  in  the  knowledge  of  God  y  strengthened 
with  all  might,  according  to  his  glorious  power ;  unto 
all  patience,  and  long  suffering,  with  joyfulnpss  ;  for  it 
is  he  who  worketh  in  us,  both  to  will,  and  to  do  of  his  good 
pleasure  ;  and  although  of  ourselves  we  can  do  nothing. 
yet  we  can  do  all  things  through  Christ  strengthening  us  ; 
and  he  has  promised,  that  as  our  {lay,  so  shall  our  strength 
be. 

It  is  well,  Lord,  it  is  well.  Thou  art  mine,  and  I  am 
thine  :  thou  art  mine  with  all  thy  fulness,  what  can  1 
want  besides  ?  Nothing,  Lord.  Thou  hast  given  me 
the  heritage  of  those  that  fear  thy  name :  I  am  satisfied 
with  my  portion.  Amen. 


DEVOTIONAL    EXERCISES.  109 

Be  my  God,  and  the  God  of  my  seed,  and  glorifv 
thy  name  in  us. 


1797. 

Psalm  cxix.     Remove  far  from  me  vanity  and  lies. 

The  way  of  lies,  deception  ;  sin,  sin  metaphorical, 
alluding  to  an  archer  missing  his  mark,  or  a  traveller 
missing  his  way.  Every  deviation  from  rectitude  and 
truth,  is  sin.  Who  that  knows  any  thing  of  the 
corruption  of  the  human  heart,  and  its  strange  tenden- 
cy to  stray,  to  err  ;  yea,  even  to  pervert  the  plainest 
and  simplest,  and  most  obvious  truths,  but  must  see 
the  propriety  of  his  joining  the  Psalmist,  and  crying 
out,  "  Lord,  remove  far  from  me  the  way  of  lies/' 

The  way  of  lies,  as  it  respects  our  judgment  and 
sentiments ;  as  it  respects  our  motives  of  action ;  and 
as  it  respects  our  conduct. 

As  it  respects  our  judgment :  how  does  every  spe- 
cies of  error  abound  :  even  the  serious  and  earnest 
seekers  of  truth  differ  in  many  things,  which  although 
they  may  not  mar  their  final  salvation,  mar  their  progress 
in  knowledge,  in  holiness,  and  in  comfort.  "  Lord,  re- 
move' far  from  us  the  way  of  lies."  Lead  us  to  the 
pure,  unmixt,  unerring  word  of  truth,  as  it  respects 
our  sentiments,  and  as  it  respects  our  conduct.  O  how 
many  deceive  themselves  by  resting  on  a  speculative 
knowledge  of  the  truth,  or  what  they  esteem  such, 
while  their  hearts  remain  unaffected,  their  tempers  un- 
sanctified,  and  their  lives  unfruitful.  Passionate,  stub- 
born, relentless,  unmerciful,  implacable  tempers  in- 
dulged and  unmortified,  must  be. a  way  of  lies.    Learn 


110  DEVOTIONAL    EXERCISES. 

of  me,  says  the  Saviour,  for  /  am  meek  and  lowly,  and  ye 
.shall  find  rest  to  your  souls.  The  meek  will  he  teach  his 
tvay,  the  meek  will  he  guide  in  judgment. 

Remove  far  from  me  the  way  of  lies,  and  teach  me  thy 
law  graciously. 

Teach  me  thy  law  graciously,  not  the  ceremonial  and 
the  moral  law  alone,  but  the  whole  of  God's  revealed 
will.  The  Psalmist  knew  the  law  ceremonial  and  mo- 
ral, but  he  wants  more  and  .more  of  the  teaching  of  the 
Spirit  of  God.  He,  the  Spirit  of  truth,  shall  take  of 
mine,  and  show  it  unto  you.  The  word  of  God  is  ever 
the  same,  it  contains  the  whole  truth,  and  nothing  but 
the  truth ;  every  thing  necessary  to  safety,  to  holiness, 
and  happiness :  but  O  the  difference  between  him  who 
reads  with  a  mind  enlightened  by  the  Spirit  of  God, 
and  him  who  reads  with  no  other  assistance  than  his 
own  poor  blinded  darkened  reason.  Teach  me  then  thy 
law  graciously.  I  will  praise  thee  with  uprightness  of 
heart,  when  I  shall  have  learned  thy  judgments.  Open  thou 
mine  eyes,  that  I  may  behold  ivondrous  things  out  of  thy 
law.  The  Psalmist  thirsted  after  more  and  more  ex- 
tensive views  of  the  word  of  God,  and  still  as  his 
views  were  enlarged  he  desired  more.  Verse  64.  The 
earth  is  full  of  thy  mercy :  this  was  one  lesson,  but 
still  he  cries,  teach  me  thy  statutes ;  thou  hast  dealt 
bountifully  with  me,  O  Lord,  according  to  thy  word :  still 
he  cries,  Teach  me  good  judgment  and  knowledge.  It 
is  good  for  me  that  I  have  been  afflicted,  that  I  might 
learn  thy  statutes. 

1797. 
I  love  to  feel  the  kindlings  of  repentance ;  self  loath- 
ing under  a  sense  of  ingratitude  ;  heart   melting  with 


DEVOTIONAL    EXERCISES.  HI 

the  view  of  pardoning  grace.  I  love  to  feel  the 
sprinkling  of  my  Redeemer's  blood  on  my  conscience , 
drawing  forth  the  tears  of  joy  and  gratitude  in  the 
view  of  a  free  pardon.  I  love  to  dwell  on  the  seal  of 
reconciliation,  while  my  heart,  glowing  with  gratitude, 
sinks  into  the  arms  of  my  redeeming  Lord,  in  full  con- 
fidence of  his  love,  and  my  safety  for  ever.  I  love  to 
feel  longings  after  closer  communion,  after  more  con- 
formity to  his  image,  more  usefulness  in  his  church,  to 
my  fellow  members  of  the  body  of  Christ,  and  to  all 
his  creatures.  I  love  to  feel  deeply  interested  in  the 
success  of  the  Gospel,  in  the  declarative  glory  of  Je- 
hovah, as  manifested  in  his  works  of  creation  and  pro- 
vidence, but  chiefly  in  the  super-excellent  work  of  re- 
demption :  for  thou  hast  magnified  thy  Word  above  all 
thy  great  name. 


1798. 

On  Pope's  essay,  "  Glows  in  the  stars,  and  blossoms 
in  the  trees," — There  the  poet  must  stop :  thus  far  the 
natural  mind,  richly  endowed  with  human  powers,  can 
go  and  trace  a  God  of  power,  wisdom,  and  beneficence  : 
O  that  thou  hadst  had  eyes  to  see,  and  discern  what 
flesh  and  blood  could  never  reach  :  that  all  these  glo- 
ries, glorious  as  they  are,  dwindle  into  tapers,  when 
compared  with  Jehovah  manifested  in  the  face  of  Jesus 
Christ.  Every  star,  every  tree,  all  vegetating,  burst- 
ing, blooming  life,  set  thee  at  a  distance ;  they  all  an- 
swer the  end  of  their  creation,  manifesting  his  glory 
as  thou  sayest ;  but  can  they  tell  thee,  how  this  God 
can  be  just,  and  yet  justify  the  ungodly,  rebels  to  his 
•sovereignty,  and  to  every  attribute  as  really  possessed 


112  DEVOTIONAL    EXERCISES. 

by  him ;  torturing  eyen  his  fair  and  beautiful  creation, 
and  bringing  it  into  subjection  to  their  Juste,  as  thou 
hast  well  sung  :  murmuring  at,  and  rebelling  against, 
his  dispensations  in  providence  ;  hardening  themselves 
against  his  government;  perverting  every  good  to 
their  own  misery,  and  sucking  wretchedness  from 
means  of  blessedness :  can  all  that  thou  hast  sung 
bring  into  congeniality,  perfection  of  wickedness,  and 
perfection  of  holiness,  perfection  of  wretchedness  and 
perfection  of  happiness,  perfect  opposition  in  nature  and 
principle!  Here  thy  song  stops  short.  Thou  seest 
the  evils  and  the  misery;  thou  hast  a  glimpse  of  an 
opposite  good,  but  all  means  proposed  by  thee,  ever 
have,  and  ever  will,  prove  inadequate  to  the  attain- 
ment of  it :  the  very  attributes  of  a  just  and  holy  - 
God  oppose  it :  heaven  and  earth  must  stand  amazed 
at  the  declaration  that  God  would  justify  the  ungodly! 


1800. 

O  my  God,  I  account  it  an  honourable  office  thou 
ha9t  given  me.  I  have  received  it  from  thee.  O  ena- 
ble me  to  execute  it  to  thee. 

Father  of  the  fatherless  ;  Husband  of  the  widow  ! 
make  me  a  fit  instrument  in  thy  hand  of  distributing 
thy  bounty.  Give  discernment  and  judgment,  tender- 
ness, gentleness,  humility,  and  love ;  let  love  to  thee 
be  the  principle  of  my  every  action ;  lead  me  in  the 
straight  path  of  duty  ;  on  the  matter,  the  manner,  the 
time,  let  holiness  to  the  Lord  be  written.  I  thank  thee 
for  this  sum,  towards  the  relief  of  thy  creatures;  be 
with  us  this  evening,  and  direct  our  determination  as 
to  the  division  of  it.     Amen. 


DEVOTIONAL  EXERCISES,  113 

1800. 

I  have  entered  into  my  closet;  I  have  shut  my 
door;  I  would  pray  to  my  Father,  who  is  in  se- 
cret ;  I  would  be  shut  up  with  my  indwelling  God  ;  but 
see  the  crowds  that  follow ;  see  my  treacherous  heart 
that  gives  them  admission  ;  see  my  unsanctiiied  imagi- 
nation going  off  with  them,  leaving  nothing  before  thee 
but  a  lifeless  lump  of  clay.  Help,  Lord  !  Hast  thou 
not  redeemed  me  from  vain  imaginations  ?  Lord,  fill 
all  thy  temple  :  Cast  out  the  buyers  and  sellers  :  thyself 
prepare  room  for  close,  undisturbed  hoi)  conference. 
Grant  that,  according  to  the  riches  of  thy  glory,  I  may 
be  strengthened  with  might  by  thy  Spirit  in  the  inner 
man :  dwell  in  my  heart  by  faith,  that  rooted  and 
grounded  in  love,  I  may  be  able  to  comprehend  with  all 
saints,  what  is  the  breadth,  and  length,  and  height,  and  depth, 
and  to  know  the  love  of  Christ,  which  passeth  knowledge, 
and  be  filled  with  all  the  fulness  of  God.  Give  unto 
thy  redeemed  servant  the  Spirit  of  wisdom  and  revela- 
tion. Reveal  thyself  more  and  more  in  my  soul ;  en- 
lighten the  eyes  of  my  understanding.  Lord,  improve, 
enlarge,  the  powers  of  the  new  man.  Spirit  of  the 
Father,  and  of  the  Son,  do  thine  office ;  take  of  the 
things  of  Christ,  and  shew  them  unto  me  ;  thai  I  may 
know  what  is  the  hope  of  his  calling,  and  what  the 
riches  of  the  glory  of  his  inheritance  in  the  saints,  and 
what  is  the  exceeding  greatness  of  his  power  to  us-ward  icho 
believe  according  to  the  working  of  his  mighty  power, 
which  he  wrought  in  Christ,  when  he  raised  him  from 
the  dead,  and  set  him  at  the  Father  s  right  hand,  in  the  hca- 
venly  places,  far  above  all  principalities,  and  powers,  and 
might,  and  dominion,  and  every  name  that  is  named,  not 
only  in  this  icorld,  but  also  in  that  which  is  to  come  ;  and 

P 


114  DEVOTIONAL    EXERCISES. 

hath  put  all  things  under  his  feet,  and  given  him  to  be  the 
head  over  all  things,  to  the  church,  which  is  his  body,  the 
fulness  of  him  that  filleth  all  in  all.  Filled  with  all  the  ful- 
ness of  God!  The  fulness  of  Him  who  filleth  all  in  all  ! 
O  what  things  are  these  !  My  soul  stretches  to  com- 
prehend, but  weak  and  feeble,  cannot  climb  those  glo- 
rious heights,  nor  dig  into  these,  to  me,  unsearchable 
depths.  I  can  only  spell  after  the  language  of -the 
Holy  Ghost;  lisp  out  his  own  words.  I  dare  not  trust 
my  powers  of  comprehension  to  vary  even  the  mode  of 
expression. 

Well,  it  may  be  best  for  me  ;  the  valley  of  humility 
may  be  safest  for  me.  Father,  glorify  thy  name  !  Thou 
hast  quickened  me  ;  I  am  not  what  I  was.  Thou  hast 
wrought  in  me  a  measure  of  faith  and  love;  thou 
hast  sealed  me  with  the  Holy  Spirit  of  promise ;  thou 
hast  given  me  the  earnest  of  my  inheritance  ;  the  full 
possession  shall  come  in  thy  appointed  time.  Where- 
fore I  will  -sing  unto  Him  that  is  able,  and  will  do  exceed- 
ing abundantly  above  all  I  can  ask,  think,  or  compre- 
hend, according  to  that  same  mighty  power  that, 
worketh  in  us.  Unto  Him  be  glory  in  the  church,  by 
Christ  Jesus,  throughout  all  ages,  world  without  end. 
Amen. 

My  covenant  God,  and  the  God  of  my  house  !  Thy 
Spirit  saith,  if  any  man  lack  wisdom,  let  hi?h  ask  of  God-. 
Thou  knowest  the  difficulty  and  danger  of  the  pre- 
sent case.  We  are  ignorant  of  hidden  motions  and 
principles;  of  Satan's  suggestions,  of  corresponding 
or  discordant  circumstances  :  of  future  providences  and 
events.     Lord,  give  counsel. 

If  information  and  advice  be  duty  on  the  part  of 
thy  servant,  determine  on  the  side  of  duty,  be  the 
danger  what  it  may ;  and,  O  !   search,  try,  and  deliver 


DEVOTIONAL    EXERCISES.  115 

from  every  selfish,  or  hidden  impure  motive.  Give  pru- 
dence in  the  choice  of  words,  in  the  time  and  manner, 
as  well  as  purity  in  the  matter.  Save  from  injuring 
any  of  the  individuals  concerned.  And,  O  !  prepare 
the  heart  of  thy  other  servant,  to  receive  this  office  of 
friendship,  with  a  proper  degree  of  confidence.  Save 
from  unjust  suspicions,  that  it  may  be  taken  as  meant 
in  love,  in  Christian  love  and  friendship. 

0  thou,  who  knowest  all  hearts,  all  motives,  all 
circumstances,  past,  present,  and  future !  Overrule 
for  the  manifestation  of  truth  ;  for  the  safety  and  good 
of  thy  servant,  and  for  the  closer  union  of  all  concern- 
ed in  the  bands  of  Christian  love,  confidence,  and  af- 
fection ;  and,  as  our  covenant  God,  in  whom  we  trust 
for  guidance  in  every  path  of  duty,  glorify  thy  name. 

1  table  this  prayer  in  faith,  and  wait  an  answer  of 
peace,  from  thy  inward  teaching,  and  manifestation  in 
the  course  of  thy  providence.     Amen. 


1800. 

Psalm  lxxii.  17.  His  name  shall  endure  for  ever  ;  His 
name  shall  be  continued  as  long  as  the  sun,  and  men  only 
shall.be  blessed  in  him.  Jill  nations  shall  call  him  blessed. 
Blessed  be  the  Lord  God,  the  God  of  Israel,  who  alone 
docth  wondrous  things,  and  blessed  be  his  glorious  name  for 
ever,  and  let  the  whole  earth  be  filled  with  his  glory.  Amen, 
and  Amen. 

Again  have  I  and  my  children  been  fed  with 
Christ's  flesh  and  his  blood,  at  his  own  table.  Glori- 
ous things  are  said  of  thee,  thou  city  of  our  God ;  and 
rich  the  provision  of  the  house  of  our  God  ;  won- 
derful the  scheme  that  hath  made  sinful,  guilty,  rebel 


118  DEVOTIONAL    EXERCISES. 

sinners,  the  citizens  of  this   holy   city,  inhabitants  ot 
this  holy  house.     Mysterious   truth !    The   city  itself, 
the  house  of  God ;  the  temple  of  the  Lord,  in   which 
he  delighteth  to   dwell.     Closer  yet,  more  mysterious, 
jet  equally  true,  his  body,  his  flesh,    and  his    bones  ; 
closer  still ;  one  Spirit  with  him.   As  Mediator  Emma- 
nuel, he  is  the  bond  of  union,  whereby  the  guilty  sons 
and  daughters  of  Adam  are  made  one  with  the  Father, 
the  Son,  and  the  Holy  Ghost*   Wonderfully  and  fearful- 
ly are   we   made    as  creatures  ;   as  a  rational  creature, 
who  can   understand   and  comprehend  himself?    How 
these    members    were  fashioned !     How    this  spark  of 
vital  flame  was  breathed  into  the  lifeless  lump  or  atom. 
Wonder  working  Lord  !    Thou  only  knowTest;  wonder- 
ful are  all  the  works  of  creation  ;  but  O,  what  are  they  to 
thy  work  of  Redemption  !     To  bring  worlds  out  of  no- 
thing; to    bring  light  out  of  darkness,   was  thy  easy 
work;-  but   to   bring  good  out  of  evil ;    this,   this   was 
the  wonder!     Thousands  arid  ten  thousands  of  worlds 
were,  and  may  yet  be  created  without  cost !   (^rod  says, 
let  it  be,  and  it  is  :   but  Redemption  !    O,  who  can  tell 
the    cost!     Blessed    Jesus !     God    manifested    in    the 
flesh!   Christ!  Babe  of  Bethlehem!    Man  of  Sorrows! 
Victim  on  the  Cross  !     Thou  only  canst  tell- — plesscdbe 
the  Lord  God  of  Israel,  ivho  alone  doth  ivondcrous  things, 
and  blessed  be  his  glorious  name  for  ever  :  whatever  the 
cost,  it  is  finished.     He  bowed  his    head  and   said,  it 
is  finished!    This  finished  work  is  the  New  Testament, 
which  he    bequeathed  to    his  disciples  the  same  night 
in   which'  he    ivas  betrayed.     When  he  took  bread,  bless- 
ed it,  brake  it,  gave  it  to  his  disciples,  and  said,  Take,   eat, 
this  is  my  body  broken  for  you  ;  and  took  the  cup,  and  gave 
thanks,  and  gave  it  to  them,  saying,  Drink  ye  all  of  it  ;for- 


DEVOTIONAL    EXERCISES.  117 

this  is  the  New  Testament  in  my  blood,  which  is  shed  for 
many  for  the  remission  of  sins. 

The    New  Testament!     O,  who  can  tell  the  bless- 
ings and  benefits  contained  in  this  testament,  this  dying 
legacy  of  our  dear  Emmanuel,  purchased  and  sealed 
with  his  blood  !     What  is  the  amount  of  it  ?   What  the 
sum  of-  blessings   contained  in  it  ?   Behold,  God  is  be- 
come our  salvation.     This  is  the  amount.     God  himself, 
God   in  Christ,    reconciling   us   unto   himself:   by   his 
mighty   power  ;  subduing    the   enmity   that  is    in  us  ; 
melting  our  flinty  hearts  ;   drawing  us  with  the  cords  of 
love  ;  creating  us  anew  after  his  own  image,  which  we 
had  totally  lost ;  uniting  us  to  himself,  even  us,  who  were 
enmity    itself,  but  now  are  become  one  with  God,  who 
is  love.  This  is  the  work  we  have  this  day  been  celebra- 
ting. A  given,  a  born,  a  living,  a  suffering,  dying,  risen, 
ascended,    glorified,  reigning,    Saviour  !    The  Lord  of 
Hosts,   the  King  of  kings,  the  Almighty  God,  dwelling 
with  men,  dwelling  in  men,  and  feeding  them  with  his 
own  body  and  blood.     Behold  God  is  become   our  salva- 
tion, we  will  trust  and  not  be  afraid,  for  the  Lord  Jehovah 
is  our  strength  and  our  song,  he  also  is  become  our  salvation* 
therefore  with  joy  will  we  draw  water  out  of  the  wells  of 
salvation.    His  attributes  are   the  never  failing  source  : 
his  ordinances  the  wells  of  salvation.     God  himself  is. 
is  ours,  all  that  he  is,  is  ours,  to  bless  and  to  make  us 
happy.     Ten  thousand  springs  issue  from  this  blessed 
source,  specified  and  particularised  in  his  Bible,  expe- 
rienced and  celebrated  by  his  Saints.     Let  us  drink 
and  be  refreshed,  rejoice  and  praise  :  for  O  who  can 
tell  the  amount  of  our  riches,  in  having  God  for  our 
portion  !     All  things  are  ours,   we   are    Christ's,  and 
Christ  is  God's. 


118  DEVOTIONAL    EXERCISES. 

May  3,  1801; 

Sing  unto  the  Lord  for  he  hath  done  excellent  things*, 
this  is  known  in  all  the  earth. 

Nearly  six  weeks  have  elapsed,  since  my  children 
launched  into  God's  ocean*.  The  Sabbath  after,  I  re* 
quested  the  prayers  of  the  churches  for  them  accord- 
ing to  their  own  desire.  The  Lord  is  a  prayer  hear- 
ing God,  he  has  answered,  and  will  answer. 

The  weather  has  been,  uncommonly  tempestuous ; 
1  read  of  many  disasters  in  consequence.  How  it  has 
fared,  or  does  fare,  with  my  children,  He  who  loves 
them  knows.  Their  Saviour  and  their  God  sitteth  on 
the  clouds,  and  directeth  the  storm  :  they  are  his 
servants,  shall  accomplish  his  purposes,  which  all  ter- 
minate in  salvation  to  his  people.  My  children  are  his  ?- 
the  blessings  of  the  everlasting  Gospel  shall  preserve 
their  souls  in  peace.  Their  God  shall  conduct  them 
to  their  destined  port,  but  that  port  may  be  heaven : 
and  if  it  should,  my  soul,  writ  thou  grieve  ?  darest  thou 
grieve  ?  No,  my  God  ;  if  Grace  be  in  exercise  when 
the  news  reaches  me,  I  will  say,  as  in  former  times, 
all  is  well,  He  hath  done  all  things  well ,  I  renew  my 
Wank,  noted  in  my  exercise  of  January  1,  1796. 


July  14,  1801; 
I  have  received  letters  from  my  children.  What 
shall  I  render  to  the  Lord  for  all  his  mercies,  mercies 
temporal,  mercies  spiritual,  mercies  eternal,  multiplied 
mercy  U  God  himself  is  become  my  salvation;  how  un- 
speakable the  blessing !  though  chastisement  and  afflic- 
tion were  the  means  of  my  correction,  and  sanctifica- 

*  Mr.  and  Mrs.  Bethuoe  and  ooe  or  their  children  sailed  for  Liverpool  in  Marcfi,, 
1801. 


DEVOTIONAL    EXERCISES.  119 

tion,  or  the  very  vengeance  taken  on  my  inventions : 
for  my  character  and  name  is  the  same  with  treacher- 
ous Judah,  and  backsliding  Israel.  His  name  chang- 
cth  not.  The  Lord  God,  merciful  and  gracious,  slow  to 
anger,  forgiving  iniquity,  transgression,  and  sin.  O  how 
lias  he  magnified  this  name  to  me  a  backslider  in  heart 
and  life  ;  how  has  he  multiplied  pardons,  healed  my 
backslidings,  restored  my  soul,  and  filled  me  with  joy 
and  peace  in  believing !  Not  only  so,  but  in  this  vale 
of  tears];  this  land  of  drought,  this  waste  howling  wilder- 
ness :  where  man  is  bom  to  trouble,  as  the  sparks  fly  ap~ 
ivard.  My  cup  runs  over  with  temporal  blessings  and 
enjoyments,  all  his  creatures  minister  to  my  comfort, 
his  daily  providence  adds. 

It  is  fifteen  weeks  since  my  children  launched  into 
God's  ocean  :  many  anxious  hours  of  suspense  have 
agitated  my  breast.  The  Lord  knows  I  did  try  to 
wait  the  manifestation  of  his  will,  with  patience  and 
resignation,  and  to  his  praise  I  record  it,  even  in  the 
view  of  parting,  I  was  not  without  comfort. 

Surely,  surely,  God  is  enough  for  me,  and  while  he 
is  my  portion,  and  the  portion  of  my  children,  I  can- 
not be  comfortless  ;  goodness  and  mercy  shall  follow  us; 
whatever  aspect  providences  may  wear,  the  end 
shall  be  goodness  and  mercy. 

July  28,   1801. 

My  dear  Pastor,  Mr.  M.  sailed  for  Britain.  I  thank 
ihee,  good  and  kind  shepherd  of  Israel,  for  all  those 
providences,  which  seemed  small  things  at  the  time, 
that  hedged  me  into  that  congregation  ;  for  all  the  bene- 
fits and  comforts  I  enjoyed  under  the  ministry  of  thy 
aged  servant,  now   before  thy  throne,  and  that  thou 


120  DEVOTIONAL    EXERCISES. 

preparedst  thy  young  servant  to  fill  his  place,  when  the 
time  of  his  departure  came. 

I  thank  thee  for  all  the  endowments  of  our  young 
pastor,  of  nature  and  of  grace.  I  thank  thee,  that  thou 
hast  kept  him  faithful  to  Him  who  has  called  him,  and 
for  the  precious  treasure  thou  hast  put  in  that  earthen 
vessel. 

Now,  Lord,  that  thou  hast  called  him  to  leave  his 
family,  and  his  Hock,  to  travel  to  a  foreign  land,  in  the 
service  which  thou  requirest ;  go  with  him,  prosper 
him,  overrule  all  his  concerns,  for  thy  glory,  the  good 
of  his  soul,  of  the  church  in  general,  and  his  own  lit- 
tle flock  in  particular.     Amen.     Glorify  thy  name. 


November  22,  1801. 

IsahellaS — is  very  ill,  she  appears  to  be  in  a 
stupor.  -Two  physicians  are  attending,  but  my  eyes  are 
to  the  Lord.  She  is  his  own,  dedicated  to  him  in  bap- 
tism, in  which  we  took  hold  of  his  covenarft,  a  God  in 
Christ  for  her,  in  particular,  for  ourselves  and  our 
children. 

I  desire  not  to  draw  back,  but  the  Lord  strengthen- 
ing me,  to  give  up  at  his  call.  If  it  be  his  will  to  spare 
her,  she  is  still  his  own  to  be  done  by,  -with,  and  for, 
as  his  infinite  wisdom  may  see  fit,  for  his  own  glory,  and 
her  eternal  interest.  If  he  is  about  to  remove  her  out 
of  the  world,  she  is  his  own ;  out.  of  the  mouth  of  this 
babe  wjll  he  perfect  praise  ;  with  that  company  of  little 
children  of  whom  is  the  kingdom  of  heaven,  she  shall 
join  in  the  song  of  Moses  and  the  Lamb,  "  to  him  that 
redeemed  us  and  washed  us  from  our  sins  in  his  own 
blood,  to  him  be  glory,  honour,  dominion,  and  power." 


DEVOTIONAL    EXERCISES.  121 

O  Lord,  one  petition  I  prefer — if  it  be  thy  will  to 
take  her  out  of  the  world,  take  her  in  thine  arms,  and 
carry  her  through  the  dark  valley  ;  grant  to  her  a  gen- 
tle and  easy  passage,  and  an  abundant  entrance  into 
thy  kingdom,  and  tune  our  hearts  to  sing — "  The  Lord 
gave,  and  the  Lord  hath  taken  away,  blessed  be  the  name 
of  the  Lord"     Amen. 


November  23,   1801. 

This  day,  the  dear  Isabella  joined  the  church  trium- 
phant, took  her  place  among  that  company  of  little 
children  which  Christ  has  pronounced  blessed,  and 
"  of  the  kingdom  of  Heaven."  I  yesterday  asked  of 
the  Lord,  that  he  would  take  her  in  his  arms,  and  car- 
ry her  through  the  dark  valley,  that  he  would  give  her 
a  gentle  and  an  easy  passage,  and  an  abundant  en- 
trance into  his  kingdom.  O,  he  heard  my  prayer ;  it 
was  indeed  soft  and  gentle ;  not  a  struggle,  not  a  groan 
— and  the  affliction  which  brought  down  the  frame  was 
moderate  throughout.  I  was  enabled  to  resign  the 
Lord's  own  into  his  own  hand,  in  the  faith  that  he  did 
receive,  and  would  keep  that  which  I  committed  to  him. 

My  soul  is  satisfied  ;  more  than  satisfied  :  I  rejoice, 
and  congratulate  the  lovely  babe  on  her  early  escape 
from  a  world  of  sin  and  sorrow,  to  the  arms  of  her 
dear  Redeemer,  and  to  perfect  blessedness  with  him. 


November  24,  1801. 
The  beautiful  clav  of  our  Isabella  is  now  consigned 
to  the  tomb.     Never  but  once  did  I  behold  such  a  love- 
ly object.     It  seemed  to  say,  "  weep  not  for  Bella,  she 
is  happy."     Weep  we   did,  though  grieve  we  did  not. 

Q 


122  DEVOTIONAL    EXERCISES. 

It  was  a  strange  delightful  melting  of  heart  over  a 
sweet  child,  gone  home  to  our  own  father  and  God. 
to  be  consummately  happy. 

In  the  morning:  the  Rev.  Mr.  P.  and  Mr.  A.  came  in. 
Mr.  P.  prayed.  The  parents  and  I  spent  much  time 
musing  over  and  feasting  our  eyes  with  the  lovely  relic, 
which  seemed  to  brighten  in  beauty  as  it  lay,  waiting 
the  company  to  convey  it  to  its  parent  earth. 

It  is  done — finished — the.  soul  with  God,  the  body 
rn  the  tomb.  It  is  all  well—yes,  our  Covenant  God, 
thou  dost  all  things  well.  I  firmly  believe  thy  mercy  is 
over  all  thy  works.  Goodness,  mercy,  yea,  loving  kind- 
ness has  marked  thy  every  step.  I  believe  it  now.  I 
shall  see  it  soon. 

Now,  our  God,  follow  this  bereavement  with  thy  puri- 
fying, sanctifying  grace.  O,  enable  us  all  to  search  and 
try  our  ways.  Lead  our  souls  into  a  knowledge  of  the 
secret  corruptions  of  our  hearts,  that  we  may  confess 
and  mourn  over  them,  wash  in  the  blood  of  Christ,  be 
pardoned,  restored,  and  get  a  great  yictory.  O  enable, 
through  life,  to  abide  in  Christ;  to  keep  close  to  thee 
transacting  all  our  affairs  with  thee,  before  they  come 
into  the  view  of  the  world.  Let  thy  wisdom  and  thy 
Spirit,  in  connexion  with  thy  providences,  be  our  coun- 
sellors. O  keep  us  in  a  dependent  frame  of  mind, 
humble  and  watchful.  Strip  us  of  all  self-confidence. 
May  we  at  the  same  time  be  strong  in  the  Lord,  and 
the  power  of  thy  might ;  rejoicing  in  thee,  the  God 
of  our  salvation,  the  strength  of  our  heart,  and  our  portion 
for  ever.  Glory,  glory,  glory  to  Father,  Son,  and 
blessed  Spirit.     Amen,  and  Amen. 


DEVOTIONAL    EXERCISES.  123 

December  21,   1801. 

It  is  my  earnest  desire  to  grow  in  grace,  and  in  the 
knowledge  of  our  Lord  and  Saviour  Jesus  Christ.  It  is 
my  desire  to  love  the  Lord  my  God  with  all  my  heart,  with 
all  my  soul,  with  all  my  strength,  and  with  all  mi)  mind, 
and  to  love  my  neighbour  as  myself,  so  as  to  do  to  him 
whatever  I  could  expect  from  Christian  principles  in 
him,  on  an  exchange  of  circumstances. 

It  is  my  desire  to  give  cdl  diligence  to  add  to  my  faith 
virtue,  to  virtue  knowledge,  to  knowledge  temperance,  to 
temperance  patience,  to  patience  godliness,  to  godliness  bro- 
therly kindness,  to  brotherly  kindness  charity,  that  these 
things  being  in  me  and  abounding,  I  may  be  neither 
barren  nor  unfruitful  in  the  knowledge  of  our  Lord  and 
Saviour  Jesus  Christ. 

I  desire  to  grow  in  grace  day  by  day,  to  profit  by 
every  ordinance  of  God's  appointing,  and  by  every 
providence ;  and  I  pray,  Lord,  I  pray,  that  thou 
wouldst  grant  me  my  desire,  so  as  that  I  may  become 
more  spiritual,  more  discerning  in  the  Scriptures,  more 
fruitful  in  good  works :  that  thou  mayest  increase  also 
my  humility.  Open  to  my  view  more  of  the  extent 
and  spirituality  of  thy  divine  law ;  the  majesty,  purity, 
holiness,  of  thy  nature ;  the  exceeding  sinfulness  of 
sin ;  the  hidden  corruptions  of  my  own  heart,  and  my 
inability  to  search  them  out,  and  to  crucify  them ;  give 
me  also  more  just  views  of  my  past  life,  that  I  may 
ever  be  convinced  that  I  am,  what  I  really  am,  the 
very  chief  of  sinners,  and  the  least  of  all  saints :  and  that 
it  is  entirely  of  Grace,  that  I  am  what  I  am.  O  make 
out  this  promise  to  me  ;  I  will  table  it  in  thine  own 
words  :  Ezekiel  xvi.  62.  /  will  establish  my  Covenant 
with  thee :  and  thou  shedt  know  that  I  am  the  Lord.  I 
confess  myself    the  character  described   in   the   two 


124  DEVOTIONAL    EXERCISES. 

foregoing  chapters ;  and  though  thou  hast  chastened 
me  ten  thousand  times  less  than  my  iniquities  deserve, 
even  by  the  constitution  of  the  New  Covenant,  thou 
hast  chastened  me.  Now,  O  Lord,  most  merciful,  and 
gracious,  who  pardonest  iniquity,  transgression,  and  sin, 
for  thy  name's  sake,  do  to  and  for  me  as  thou  hast 
said. — /  will  establish  my  Covenant  with  thee  :  and  thou 
shalt  know  that  I  am  the  Lord.  That  thou  mayest  re- 
member, and  be  confounded,  and  never  open  thy  mouth  any 
more  because  of  thy  shame,  when  I  am  pacified  towards 
thee  for  all  that  thou  hast  done,  saith  the  Lord  God.  Amen. 


August,  1802. 
Ezekiel  xx.  32.  And  that  which  cometh  into  your 
mind  shall  not  be  at  all,  that  you  say,  ice  will,  be  as  the^ 
heathen,  as  the  families  of  the  countries,  to  serve  wood  and 
stone.  Verse  35,  And  I  will  bring  you  into  the  wilderness^ 
and  there  will  I  plead  with  you,  face  to  face :  36,  like  as  I 
pleaded  with  your  fathers  in  4he  wilderness  of  the  land  of 
Egypt,  so  will  I  plead  with  you,  saith  the  Lord  God  ;  and 
I  will  cause  you  to  pass  under  the  rod,  and  I  ivill  bring 
you  into  the  bend  of  the  Covenant,  \erse  43,  And  ye 
shall  remember  your  ways,  and  all  your  doings,  wherein  ye 
have  been  defiled^  and  ye  shall  loathe  yourselves  in  your 
own  sight,  for  cdl  your  evils  that  ye  have  committed,  and 
ye  shall  know  that  I  am  the  Lord,  when  I  have  wrought 
with  you  for  my.  name 's  sake;  not  according  to  your  wick- 
ed ways,  nor  according  to  your  corrupt  cloings.  O  ye 
house  of  Israel,  saith  the  Lord  God.  It  is  good,  yes, 
Lord,  k  is  all  good ;  too  often  have  we  said  we  will 
be  as  the  heathen,  to  serve  wood  and  stone.  Often  hast 
thou  chastened,  often  have  we  confessed,  often  resolv- 
ed that  we  would  walk  more  softly,  more  tenderly, 
more  circumspectly  before  thee.    But,  alas  !  when  thy 


DEVOTIONAL    EXERCISES.  125 

hand  is  removed,  when  thou  healest  us,  and  restorest 
to  us  health,  comfort,  and  our  pleasant  things,  we  wax 
fat  and  kick,  nestle  in  our  comfort,  abuse  thy  p-ifts, 
and  lose  sight  of  the  giver.  Alas,  Lord  !  thus  it  must 
ever  be  with  us,  when  we  keep  not  near  to  thee;  we 
cannot  walk  one  step  alone  without  stumbling.  Thou 
knowest  these  naturally  wicked  hearts,  that  they  are 
deceiful  above  all  things,  they  betray  us  before  we  are 
aware.  Blessed,  ever  blessed,  be  our  God  for  his  well 
ordered  Covenant !     Blessed  for  the  discipline  of  it ! 

O  Lord,  we  are  again  in  the  wilderness,  and  under 
thy  chastising  rod :  for  weeks  past,  we  have  eaten  no 
pleasant  bread;  thy  rod  is  still  suspended  over  our 
pleasant,  our  dear  child ;  the  streams  of  life  ebb,  he 
sickens,  he  dies,  if  thou  interfere  not.  But  the  issues 
from  death  are  in  thy  hand,  and  our  eyes  are  towards 
thee.  In  vain  are  all  means,  all  medicines,  if  thou  in- 
fuse not  the  healing  virtue.  Thy  weeping  servants 
seek  the  healing  virtue  from  thy  waters,  thy  seas,  thy 
purer  air.  All  nature  is  in  thy  hand,  and  ministers 
thy  pleasure ;  to  some  conveying  health,  to  some  dis- 
ease. An  herb  fresh  from  our  mother  earth,  to  be 
boiled  in  simple  milk,  as  the  figs  for  Hezekiah's  boils, 
has  been  proposed  by  a  weak  woman :  O  let  this 
prove  the  appointed  mean,  or  direct  and  point  out  thai 
which  thou  wilt  bless,  and  let  our  hearts  and  tongues 
give  the  glory  to  thee.  We  deserve  this  bereavement ; 
but,  Lord,  what  do  we  not  deserve?  Even  according 
to  the  constitution  of  the  Covenant  of  Grace,  and  con- 
sistent with  thy  pardoning,  saving,  mercy,  and  all  thy 
long  suffering;  wert  thou  to  take  vengeance  on  our 
inventions,  by  exercising  all  thy  threatened  chastise- 
ments; should  we  ever  be  out  of  the  furnace?  but 
even  in  this  view,  thou  never  hast  dealt  with  us  as  our 


126  DEVOTIONAL    EXERCISES. 

iniquities  deserved.  He  will  not  always  chide,  neither 
will  he  keep  his  anger  for  ever.  Thou  hast  in  thousands 
of  instances,  cast  our  sins  behind  thy  back,  into  the  midst  of 
the  sea  ;  blotted  them  out,  to  remember  them  no  more  for 
ever.  Thy  ways  are  not  as  our  ways,  nor  thy  thoughts  as 
our  thoughts.  We  may  plead,  deal  not  with  us  as  we 
sin :  but  according  to  the  multitude  of  thy  mercies,  blot 
out  our  transgressions.  Pardon  our  iniquity,  for  it  is  very 
great.  Affliction  is  appointed,  but  it  is  in  measure, 
when  it  shooteth  forth,  O  debate  with  it,  and  accord- 
ing to  thy  promise,  Stay  thy  rough  wind,  in  the  day  of 
thine  east  wind.  Lord,  say  it  is  enough,  give  the  bless- 
ing, and  by  this  measure  shall  iniquity  be  purged,  and 
the  fruit  be  to  take  away  sin.  All  means  are  alike  in 
thy  hand,  and  any  measure.  In  holy  sovereignty  and 
consummate  wisdom,  thou  afflictest,  and  in  thy  hand 
afflictions  yield  the  peaceable  fruits  of  righteousness : 
the  hearts  of  thy  people  are  melted,  and  they  sing- of 
mercy  and  of  judgment,  and  glorify  thy  name.  But, 
O  Lord,  a  look  such  as  thou  gavest- to  Peter,,  will  melt 
our  hearts,  and  restore  our  backsliding  souls.  The 
announcing  our  pardon  by  the  same  power,  will  make 
them  overflow  with  love.  If  thou  but  call  us  by  name 
as  thou  didst  a  great  sinner  at  thy  sepulchre,  with  the 
same  power,  we  shall  recognize  our  Saviour,  and  wor- 
ship him. 

O  Lord,  our  God,  ever  faithful  to  thy  promises,  thou 
hast  said,  whatsoever  ye  ask  in  my  name,  believing  that  ye 
receive,  I  will  do  At.  O  Lord,  I  ask  not  the  life  of  this 
child  on  this  ground.  I  have  through  life  asked  one 
thing  of  thee,  and  that  will  I  seek  to  obtain,  while  life 
and  breath  remain,  and  reason  and  grace,  I  will  seek 
it ;  ^eek  it  with  importunity,  holding  fast  by  thy  pro- 
mise to  do  it,  and  believing  that  it  shall  be  according 


DEVOTIONAL    EXERCISES.  127 

to  my  petition.  Make  good  to  me,  this  thy  promise, 
in  a  spiritual  and  eternal  sense.  Be  my  God,  and  the 
God  of  my  seed,  and  of  my  seed's  seed  to  the  latest 
generation.  Let  my  seed,  according  to  the  flesh,  be 
thine  by  regeneration  of  the  Holy  Ghost ;  it  is  a  great 
boon;  but  hast  thou  not  said,  Open  thy  mouth  wide,  I 
ivill  Jill  it.  Father,  do  as  thou  hast  said :  this  is  my 
one  petition,  and  I  cannot  be  said  nay.  I  ask  for 
myself,  my  children,  and  my  children's  children,  to  the 
latest  generation;  the  life  which  Christ  died  to  pur- 
chase, and  lives  to  bestow,  that  we  may  be  made  one 
with  him,  and  our  life  hid  with  him  in  God.  Amen  and 
Amen. 

But,  O  my  Father !  thou  hast  said,  be  careful  for 
nothing;  but  in  every  thing,  by  prayer  and  supplica- 
tion, with  thanksgiving,  let  your  requests  be  made 
known  unto  God.  I  ask  with  submission  to  thy  holy 
will,  if  consistent  with  thy  glory,  his  good,  and  the 
good  of  the  parents,  the  life  of  this  child ;  that  thou 
mayest  spare  him  for  our  comfort,  but  first  for  thine 
own  glory  ;  that  thou  mayest  give  the  different 
branches  of  this  family  a  joyful  meeting,  a  full  feast  of 
grateful  thanks  to  thee  for  all  thy  mercies ;  and  our 
hearts  rejoice  before  thee  for  the  abundance  of  com- 
fort. -Shouldest  thou,  in  thy  adorable  wisdom,  other- 
wise determine,  thy  blessed  and  thy  holy  will  be  done. 
Wash  the  soul  of  this  child  in  the  blood  of  Jesus, 
clothe  him  with  thy  righteousness,  sanctify  him  by  thy 
Spirit,  and  fit  him  in  every  respect  for  thy  kingdom. 
And,  O  my  divine  Redeemer,  I  renew  my  petition 
which  thou  didst  so  evidently  grant  in  the  case  of  our 
dear  Isabella;  take  him  in  thine  arms  of  mercy;  soft- 
en and  shorten  the  parting  pangs,  and  carry  him  gent- 
ly through  the  dark  valley,  and  give  him  an  abundant 


128  DEVOTIONAL    EXERCISES. 

entrance  into  thy  heavenly  kingdom,  to  join  the  Ho- 
sannas  of  thy  little  children,  of  whom  thy  kingdom  is 
partly  made  up ;  and  O  sanctify  the  affliction  to  all 
concerned ;  direct  our  exercise  according  as  thine  all- 
seeing,  heart-searching  eye,  sees  we  need  ;  that  being 
duly  exercised,  it  may  bring  forth  the  peaceable  fruits 
of  righteousness,  and  the  fruit  of  affliction  be  to  take 
away  sin,  and  the  glory  of  all  redound  to  thee,  Father, 
Son,  and  blessed  Spirit !     Amen,  and  amen. 


August  20,  1802. 
A  letter  from  S — ,  informs  me  my  children  have 
landed  there,  after  much  fatigue,  and  that  Thomas  is 
considerably  better.  What  shall  I  say,  O  Lord  !  Art 
thou  indeed  going  to  spare?  wilt  thou  by  this  measure 
purge  iniquity,  bring  sin  to  remembrance,  and  give 
repentance,  and  yet  spare  our  comforts  ?  O  for  hearts, 
and  tongues,  and  lives,  to'  praise  our  God.  O  Lord 
give  suitable  exercise,  and  let  not,  this  affliction  pass 
without  fruit.  I  thank  thee  for  mitigation  of  trouble, 
and  for  respite ;  may  it  be  thy  blessed  will  to  complete 
his  cure,  and  write  gratitude,  thankfulness,  and  praise 
on  all  our  hearts,  and  let  the  influence  be  seen  on  our 
after  walk,  for  Christ's  sake.  So  we  thy  people,  and  sheep 
of  thy  pasture,  will  give  thee  thanks  for  ever;  we  ivill 
show  forth  thy  praise  to  all  generations,  Psalm  lxxix.  1 3. 
And  run  in  the  way  of  thy  commandments,  when  thou  fiast 
enlarged  our  hearts,  Psalm  cxix.  32, 


Sepiember,  1S02. 
What  manner  of  persons  ought  ice  to  be  in  all  manner 
rtf  holy  conversation  ?  \    .  , 


DEVOTIONAL    EXERCISES.  129 

O  give  thanks  unto  God,  for  he  is  good,  and  his  mercy 
mdurcth  for  ever. 

How  precious  are  thy  thoughts  unto  us,  O  God ;  how 
great  is  the  sum  of  them. 

Were  we  to  count  them,  they  are  more  in  number  than 
the  sand.      When  we  awake  we  are  still  with  thee. 

The  Lord  is  gracious  and  full  of  compassion,  slow  to 
anger,  and  of  great  mercy. 

The  Lord  is  good  to  all,  and  his  tender  mercies  are  over 
all  his  works. 

All  thy  works  shall  praise  thee,  O  Lord,  and  thy  saints 
shall  bless  thee. 

Never  hast  thou  dealt  with  its  as  our  iniquities  deserve, 
nor  rewarded  us  according  to  our  transgressions. 

Who  is  a  God  like  unto  thee,  who  pardons  iniquity, 
and  passes  by  the  transgression  of  the  remnant  of  thy  he- 
ritage. He  retaineth  not  his  anger  for  ever,  because  he 
delighteth  in  mercy. 

He  will  turn  again,  he  will  have  compassion  upon  us, 
he  will  subdue  our  iniquities,  and  thou  wilt  cast  all  our  sins 
into  the  depths  of  the  sea. 

Let  Israel  hope  in  the  Lord,  for  with  the  Lord  there  is 
mercy,  and  with  him  is  plenteous  redemption. 

And  he  shall  redeem  Israel  from  all  his  iniquities. 

Thomas  is  restored  to  perfect  health,  and  the  whole 
family  enjoy  a  measure  of  that  blessing. 

The  Lord  hath  done  great  things  for  us,  whereof  ice  are 
glad.  The  Lord  hath  turned  our  captivity,  filed  our 
mouth  with  laughter  and  our  tongue  ivith  melody. 

Thou  hast  heard  our  petitions,  restored  our  pleasant 
plant,  and  continuest  with  us  all  our  pleasant  things. 

It  is  a  time  of  prosperity  ;  thou  givest  us  the  upper 
and  the  nether  springs  ;  thou  blessest  my  children  in  their 
basket  and  in  their  store ;  and  while  the  riches  of  many 

R 


130  DEVOTIONAL    EXERCISES, 

are  making  to  themselves  wings,  and  flying  away;  while 
many  are  sinking  from  affluence  to  poverty,  falling  on 
the  right  hand  and  on  the  left ;  by  thy  most  manifest 
providence  thou  hast  preserved  them  from  the  wreck. 
O  teach  them  to  acknowledge  thy  hand  in  all  this,  and 
to  say  and  feel,  not  unto-us,  O  Lord,  not  unto  us,  but  to  thy 
name  be  the  glory.  It  is  God  that  giveth  power  to  get  riches. 
O  enable  them  to  honour  thee  with  their  substance,  and 
with  the  first  fruits  of  all  their  increase. 

In  the  day  of  prosperity  let  them  rejoice,  but  let  this  joy 
be  in  the  Lord.  O  let  thy  gifts,  ever,  ever,  lead  them 
to  the  Giver,  and  fill  their  hearts  with  gratitude,  their 
mouths  with  praise ;  and  let  their  very  actions  be  wor- 
ship, wfyle  they  acknowledge  thee  in  all  their  ways,  and 
thou  directest  their  steps.  May  they  be  as  a  city  set  Ori 
an  hill,  which  cannot  be  hid,  and  their  light  shine  before 
men,  that  they  seeing  their  good  works,  may  glorify  their 
Father  ivho  is  in  Heaven. 

And  now,  O  Lord,  we  wait  for  thy  blessing  in  the 
restoration  of  our  dear  D.  and  I.  B.  and  J.  Thou  hast 
shewn  them  great  and  sore  adversities,  and  thou  hast  ma- 
nifested thy  power  to  save.  '  When  they  passed  through 
the  waters  thou  wast  with  them,  and  through  the  rivers 
they  did  not  overflow  them.  When  they  walked  through 
the  fire  they  were  not  burnt,  neither  did  the  flames  kindle 
upon  them.  For  thou  art  the  Lord  their' God,  the  Holy 
One  of  Israel  their  Saviour. 

Thou  didst  stay  thy  rough  wind  in  the  day  of  thine  east 
wind,  and  in  the  multitude  of  their  thoughts  within  them 
did  thy.  comforts  delight  their  soul.  Thou  humbledst  them 
under  thy  mighty  hand,  and  thou  hast  in  the  multitude  of 
thy  mercy  exalted  them  in  due  time.  .    - 

In  all  their  sojourning  thou  hast  been  with  them ;  and 
in  fellowship  with  thy  chureli,  greatly  hast  thou  com- 


DEVOTIONAL    EXERCISES.  131 

ibrted  them.  Thou  hast  given  them  favour  in  the 
hearts  of  thy  people,  and  made  the  stones  of  the  field 
to  he  at  peace  with  them.  And  now,  O  Lord,  restore 
them  to  their  friends  and  Christian  society,  and  to  then- 
place  which  thou  hast  in  thy  goodness  given  and  pre- 
served to  them.  Here  may  they  be  thy  witnesses,  that 
thou  art  the  Lord,  and  besides  thee  there  is  no  Saviour. 


1802. 

Dear  brother  Pero*,  happy  brother  Pero  !  thy 
Jesus  in  whom  thou  trustedst,  has  loosed  thy  bonds, 
has  brought  thee  to  that  rest  which  remains  for  the 
people  of  God  ;  thou  drinkest  of  the  pure  river  that 
maketh  glad  the  city  of  our  God  ;  of  that  blessed  foun- 
tain from  which  issue  all  the  streams  which  refresh 
and  revive  us*weary  pilgrims.  But  a  little  while  ago, 
and  thou  wast  weary,  dark  and  solitary ;  thy  flesh  fetter- 
ing and  clogging  thy  spirit;  thy  God  trying  thy  faith, 
hope,  and  patience,  which  he  had  previously  implanted, 
watered,  and  made  vigorous,  to  stand  that  trial  more 
precious  than  gold  that  perisheth,  though  it  be  tried 
by  fire,  and  was  made  manifest  to  the  glory  of  that 
Saviour  who  leaves  not  his  people  in  any  case.  If 
need  be,  they  are  in  heaviness,  through  manifold  temp- 
tations, he  knows  how  to  deliver  them,  having  himself 

*  Pero  was  an  elderly  man  of  colour,  whom  Mr.  Andrew  Smith 
had  purchased,  and  made  free. 

Pero  had  previously  been  a  freed  man  of  Christ.  He  bad  been 
for  some  tbne  in  ill  health  ;  Mrs.  Graham  kindly  atlended  on  him, 
and  read  the  scriptures  to  him  :  lie  il.ed  by  the  bursting  of  a  blood- 
vessel, at  an  hour,  when  none  of  the  family  were  with  him.  Mrs. 
Graham,  in  humility  of  spirit,  reproaches  herself  in  this  exerci.-« 
for  having  been  absent  from  him,  without  Inquiring  info  his  situa- 
tion, for  one  hour. 


132  DEVOTIONAL    EXERCISES. 

been  tempted.  Thou  hadst  a  taste  of  his  cup ;  like 
hihi  thou  didst  endure  the  contradiction  of  sinners  ; 
like  him  thou  didst  experience  the  desertion  of  friends, 
even  thine  old  mistress  whom  thou  lately  didst  esteem 
as  a  sister  in  Christ,  and  to  whom  thou  didst  look  for 
fresh  communications  from  and  through  that  written 
word,  which  she  could  read  and  thou  couldst  not.  Oh ! 
how  did  she  prove  as  a  broken  reed  unto  thee  ? 
how  did  she  neglect  thy  necessity,  and  her  own  op- 
portunity of  bringing  forth  fruit  in  its  season  ?  Thou 
hast  been  no  loser.  The  Lord  has  shoved  aside  the 
slothful  servant,  the  unfaithful  steward,  who  neglected 
to  give  thee  thy  meat  in  due  season,  and  himself  step! 
into  her  place  ;  taken  thee  from  that  household  which 
was  not  worthy  of  thee,  and  led  thee  to  those  mansions' 
of  bliss  which  himself  purchased  and#  prepared ;  set 
thee  at  that  table  which  shall  never  be  drawn,  where 
thoushalt  feast  on  all  the  fulness  of  God,  and  drink -of 
those  pleasures  which  are' at  his  right  hand  for  ever 
more.  No  need  of  old  mistress  now ;  no  nefed  of  any 
earthly  vessel  now,  nor  of  that  written  word  which 
thou  didst  so  highly  prize.  The  word  made  flesh,  has 
removed  the  veil  that  shaded  the  glory  of  the  God- 
man  from  thine  eyes ;  flesh  and  blood  could  not  behold 
it;  of  this  he  has  unclothed  thee;  leftjit  with  us  to 
look  upon  and  mourn  our  sin.  Thee  he  has  intro- 
duced into  the  full  vision  of  eternal  day,  where  thou 
knoWest  as  thou  art  known,  and  seest  as  thou  art  seen. 
O  that  full  communion  enjoyed  between  a  holy  soul 
and  the  perfection  of  holiness  !  O  that  Light  of  Life  I 
that  Ocean  of  Love  !  that  inconceivable  blessed- 
ness !  How  hast  thou  out-run  us,  brother  Pero  ?  How 
distanced  us  in  a  moment  ?  Oh  could  I  not  watch  with 
thee  one  hour  !    Oh  that  I  had  received  thy  last  bles- 


DEVOTIONAL    EXERCISES.  133 

sing,  instead  of  which,  conscious  offence,  deserved  re- 
buke, painful  compunction,  wring  my  heart ;  and  per- 
haps the  rod  of  correction,  may  be  suspended,  and  now 
ready  to  fall  on  my  guilty  head. 

Father  !  O  my  Father !  Am  I  not  still  thy  child  ? 
still  thy  adopted  ?  O  have  not  I  an  Advocate  with 
thee,  Jesus  Christ,  the  righteous,  whom  thou  nearest 
always  ?  does  not  the  blood  of  Christ  cleanse  from 
all  sin  ?  yes,  O  yes.  This  is  my  universal  remedy  ; 
thousands  and  ten  thousands  of  times  have  I  experi- 
enced its  efficacy.  Father,  I  again  apply ;  Blessed  Spi- 
rit, do  thine  office  !  Wash  me  and  I  shall  be  clean, 
purge  me  and  I  shall  be  whiter  than  the  snow.  I  con- 
fess my  sin,  I  acknowledge  mine  iniquity.  Thou  didst 
bring  to  me  an  old  disciple,  near  and  dear  to  his  and 
my  Saviour:  thou  didst  require  me  to  minister  unto 
him  alt  that  he  needed  :  the  honour  was  great,  the  op- 
portunity valuable.  Thou  didst  empty  thy  servant 
for  a  time,  hid  his  comfort,  that  I  might,  through  thy 
written  word,  draw  living  waters  for  him,  and  give 
him  to  drink.  O  the  honour !  Oh  the  negligence  ! 
Thou  didst  send  the  call  for  thy  disciple  to  come  up  to 
thee  ;  in  thy  providence  thou  didst  make  it  first  known 
to  me,,  that  I  might  be  instrumental  in  conveying  to 
him  through  the  same  channel,  oil,  and  trimming  for 
his  lamp.  Great  was  the  honour  !  Dignified  the  ser- 
vice !  But  lost  to  me  for  ever.  I  passed  by  on  the 
other  side.  Blessed,  blessed  Jesus  !  The  good  Sama- 
ritan, who  poured  the  oil  and  wine  into  his  wounds, 
and  took  him,  not  to  an  inn,  but  to  those  mansions  in 
the  skies,  which  he  with  his  own  blood  purchased  for 
him;  sanctify,  O  sanctify  to  me  this  thy  providence; 
pardon  my  sinful  part  in  it.  Saviour,  wash  me  in  thy 
blood,  and  sanctify,  and  bring  good   out  of  even  my 


134  DEVOTIONAL    EXERCISES. 


transgression.  O,  by  thy  grace,  let  it  be  a  mean  of 
stirring  me  up  to  more  watchfulness,  that  I  may  meet 
the  opportunities  afforded  me  in  thy  providence,  to  oc- 
cupy, till  thou  come. 


September,  1802.  • 
This  day  has  the  Lord  our  God  answered  all  our 
prayers,  and  enriched  us-beyond  the  ordinary  lot  of 
humanity.  D.  and  I.  B.  and  J.  are  restored  to  their 
preserved  places,  and  to  the  bosom  of  their  family. 
We  are  as  men  who  dream  ;  our  mouths  are  filled  with 
laughter,  our  tongues  with  melody  ;  the  Lord  hath  done 
great  things  for  us,  ivhereof  we  are  glad.  Thou  hast 
turned  our  captivity  as  streams  in  the  south. .  We  sowed  in 
tears,  we  have  reaped  in  joy.  Bless  the  Lord,  O  our  souls, 
ever  true  and  faithfulis  his  word,  They  that  go  forth 
iveep'ing,  bearing  precious  seed,  shall  doubtless  come  again 
rejoicing,  bringing  their  sheaves  with  them. 

O  Lord,  from  thee  is  our  fruit  found ;  may  o»ur  sheaves 
be  many  and  weighty,  thou  working  all  our  works  in 
us,  to  thine  own  glory  and  our  blessedriess.     Amen. 


December,  1802, 
The  lovely  plant  which  the  Lord  had  blasted,  which 
brought  down  our  hearts  with  grief,  which  he  had  re- 
stored and  clothed  with  smiling  health  and  comfort, 
again  sickened,  declined,  wasted;  every  mean  proved 
ineffectual ;  the  Lord  refused  the  healing  virtue.  He 
was  brought  to  town  to  be  near  the  physicians,  but  the 
physician  of  Israel  aided  them  not.  Disease  increas- 
ed ;  with  pain,  sickness,  convulsion,  much  he  suffered, 
and  long;  he  had  a  taste   of  the  Redeemer's  cup,  and 


DEVOTIONAL    EXERCISES.  13 j 

of  the  bitterness  of  sin,  but  no  part  of  the  curse,  that 
the  Redeemer  drank  and  expended ;  and  having  by  his 
atoning  blood  purged  this  little  one  from  his  sins,  and 
perfected  all  his  redeeming  work  in  his  soul,  he  receiv- 
ed him  into  his  own  heavenly  abodes.  Jt  is  well,  all 
well.  Amen. 


March,  1803. 

I  read  this  day  the  xxxvi.  chapter  of  Ezekiel,  and 
pleaded  God's  promises  from  the  22d  verse  to  the  end, 
for  myself,  for  my  children,  and  seed  after  them  ;  for 
the  church  of  God  throughout  the  world,  in  particular 
for  this  country,  for  Britain  and  Ireland,  France  and  Ger- 
many, where  his  name  was  once  known,  and  his  Gospel 
flourished.  That  the  Lord  would  build  the  waste  places 
and  repair  the  breaches  ;  that  he  would  purify  the  sons  of 
Levi,  fill  all  pulpits  with  able,  faithful  ministers  of  the 
New  Testament,  who  shall  declare  the  whole  coun- 
sel of  God ;  and  that  wherever  his  name  is  re- 
corded, the  Holy  Ghost  might  fill  the  place,  and 
convince  the  hearts  of  preachers  and  hearers,  of 
sin,  of  righteousness,  and  of  judgment ;  might  take 
of  the-  things  of  Christ  and  shew  unto  them  ;  and  that 
the  great  head  of  the  church  might  regulate  and  over- 
rule all  these  breaches,  differences,  and  shakings  in 
his  churches. 

O  Lord,  I  am  ignorant,  I  know  nort  the  mind  of  the 
Spirit  of  promise  as  thou  knowest  it.  The  promise  of 
the  fruit  of  the  tree  and  the  increase  of  the  earth,  of 
the  corn,  the  wine,  and  the  oil,  is  thine,  as  are  all 
others.  I  am  ignorant  how  far  this  refers  to  spiritual 
prosperity,  how  far  to  temporal.     I  ask,  O  Lord,  co- 


136  DEVOTIONAL    EXERCISES. 

venant  provision,  the  fruit  of  the  seed  sown  in  the  hearts 
of  men  by  thine  own  Spirit ;  and  that  thou  mayest 
build  the  ruined  cities  of  thy  churches,  and  fill  them 
with  men  like  a  flock,  as  the  flock  of  Jerusalem,  in  her 
solemn  feasts,  so  shall  the  waste  cities  be  filled  with  flocks 
of  men,  and  they  shall  know  that  thou  art  the  Lord.  Thy 
fair,  thy  rich,  thy  beautiful  creation,  is  also  the  fruit 
of  grace.  The  wicked  possess  it,  but  they  enjoy 
it  not.  Thy  people  are  the  heirs,  but  thou,  as  a  wise 
and  merciful  Father,  givest  them  to  possess  according 
as  thy  wisdom  sees  safe  and  good  for  them.  When 
with  the  things  of  this  world  they  imbibe  the  spirit  of 
the  men  of  the  world ;  when  they  nestle  in  thy  gifts 
and  forget  the  Giver;  when  they  enjoy  with  a  carnal 
spirit,  and  not  with  thankfulness,  and  a  due  sense  of 
their  dependence  on  thee,  as  the  God  of  providence, 
as  well  as  of  grace  ;  thou  in  mercy,  as  in  sovereignty, 
blastest  their  pleasant  things,  mixest  their  cup  of  prospe- 
rity with  Wormwood  and  gall,  or  sweepest  all  away  with 
a  turn  of  thine  hand ;  that  thou  mayest  teach  them 
that  man  docs  not  live  by  bread  alone,  but  by  every  word 
that  proceedeth  out  of  the  mouth  of  God  ;  tfyat  thou  mayest 
withdraw  them  from  sinful  purposes,  and  hide  pride 
from  them ;  that  thou  mayest  open  their  ears  to  in- 
struction, and  seal  it  on  their  hearts  ;  thou  dashest  to 
pieces  their  broken  cisterns,  that  thou  mayest  lead 
them  back  to  the  fountain  of  living  waters. 

It  is  good,  O  Lord,  all  good  ;  I  lay  hold  upon  it  ; 
be  thou  the  provider  of  me  and  mine  ;  feed  us  with  food 
convenient  for  us.  Thine  own  word  testifies,  that  every 
creature  of  God  is  good,  and  nothing  is  to  be  refused  if  it 
be  received  with  thanksgiving,  for  it  is  sanctified  by  the 
word  of  God  and  prayer.  I  and  the  children,  for  whom 
f  pray,  possess  many,  yea,  an  abundance  of  temporal 


DEVOTIONAL    EXERCISES.  137 

good  things.  O  Lord,  give  suitable  grace,  grace  for 
grace;  Spirit  of  grace!  with  thankfulness  in  our 
hearts,  keep  us  humble,  dependent,  spiritual ;  enable 
us  to  receive  all  through  a  covenant  channel,  as  the 
provision  of  our  Father,  by  the  way  through  this  wil- 
derness. O  may  all  be  sanctified  by  thy  word  and 
prayer,  and  we  enabled  to  eat  and  drink  to  thy  glory. 
Amen. 

Read  the  138  psalm.  Though  the  Lord  be  high,  yet 
hath  he  respect  unto  the  lowly  ;  though  I  ival/c  in  the  midst 
of  trouble,  thou  wilt  revive  me.  The  Lord  will  perfect 
that  which  concerneth  me;  thy  mercy,  O  Lord,  endureth 
for  ever  ;  forsake  not  thou  the  works   of   thine  hands. 

Redeeming  work  is  thy  work  ;  regenerating  work  is 
thy  work  ;  sanctifying  work  is  also  thine. 

The  first  is  finished,  the  second  begun,  to  be  per- 
fected in  the  third.  O  Lord,  I  hang  on  thy  promises, 
which  with  Christ  are  all  mine,  though  I  have  not  at 
all  times  the  savour  of  them  ;  this  is  mine  infirmity, 
and  often  my  sin.     O  keep  me  looking  unto  Jesus. 


March  25,  1803. 

Sacrament  Sabbath,  Dr.  M —  preached  from  Ro- 
mans vi.  17  :  But  God  be  thanked  that  ye  were,  (were  in 
the  past  time,  not  now,)  the  servants  of  sin,  but  ye  have 
obeyed  from  the  heart,  that  form  of  doctrine  which  was 
delivered  you. 

O  Lord.  I  do  believe  the  doctrines  of  thy  Gospel;  I 
know  that  I  am  delivered  from  sin  as  a  master;  it  hath 
not  dominion  over  my  will,  nor  entire  dominion  over 
my  affections  :  I  would  be  thine,  thy  servant,  thy  child, 

S 


138  DEVOTIONAL    EXERCISES. 

thine  in  all  obedience.     I  feel  this  new  principle  in  the 
desires  of  my  soul.     I  would  do  all  things  to  thee,  in 
act,  and  in  principle.     But,  O  Lord,  the  old  man  is 
still    here,    harassing    and    hindering   my    new    will, 
(which  I   have   received  from  thee,)  from  acting  with 
freedom  and   energy.     Unhallowed   motives  steal  in, 
by-ends     present    themselves ;     and    when    outward 
duty  is  attained  to,  there  is  more  of  sin  than  of  right- 
eousness.   Though  entered  upon  with  some  measure  of 
purity,  yet  before  it  is  finished,  I  am   at   a  loss  to  dis- 
cern the  true  principle  by  which  I  am  actuated.    Lord, 
help  me !  hast  thou  not  promised  to  work  in  me  both 
to  will  and  to  do  of  thy  good  pleasure  ?    Is  it  not  the 
grand  end  of  thy  death,  that  thou  might  purify  to  thy- 
self a  glorious  church,  not  having  spot  nor  wrinkle,  nor 
any  such  thing ;  and  shall  not  I  be  a  partaker  ?     Art 
thou  not  made  of  God  unto  thy  people,  wisdom,  righteous- 
ness, sanctification,  and  complete  redemption?  O  Lord,  my 
heart  pants  for  redemption  from  indwelling  sin.     This 
depravity  of  my  nature,  this  opposition  of  my  nature, 
this  evil  that  is  ever  present  with  me  when  P  would  do 
good,  this  indolence,  this  listlessness,  this  want  of  zeal. 
or  else  self-will,  keenness  of  temper,  impatience,  haste  : 
O  Lord,  there  is  a  host  of  enemies  ;  gird  me,  arm  me. 
shield  me,  lead  me  forth  under  thy  banner ;  be  my 
victorious  King.     /  will  go  in  thy  name,  trusting  in  thy 
promised  strength  and  grace  to  help  in  every  time  of  need. 
Glory  be  to  God,  Father,  Son,  and  blessed  Spirit,  for 
the  grace  in  which  I  stand.     But  for  Grace  I  had  been 
a   willing  slave  io  sin   to  this   hour.      By  that  same 
Grace  I  shall  one  day  attain  to  victory.     I  cast  my 
burden  on  the  Lord,  he  will  sustain  until  he  deJiver; 
and  go  up  through  the  wilderness,  trusting  in  the  pro- 
mises*, and  continue  fighting  in  his  strength.     My  soul 


DEVOTIONAL    EXERCISES.  139 

waits  for  thy  salvation.  Lord,  enable  me  to  keep  look- 
ing unto  Jesus,  the  Author  and  Finishers  of  Faith.  O 
give  faith  in  every  part  of  his  mediatorial  character ! 
May  I  feed  upon  him  and  be  strong  for  this  sore  fight. 
Give  courage,  O  Lord ;  press  me  forward  :  may  I  re- 
solve, and  keep  the  resolution,  to  resist  unto  blood,  striv- 
ing against  sin. 

I  have  been  a  slothful  servant  in  thy  family,  an  idle 
labourer  in  thy  vineyard,  an  unfruitful  branch,  a  poor 
dwarfish  member  in  thy  body.  Grant,  O  grant,  a  little 
fruit  on  the  topmost  bough.  Oh !  at  the  eleventh  hour 
may  I  begin  to  work,  to  bear  some  fruit,  to  the  glory 
of  that  Grace  by  which  my  soul  is  saved  from  the  wa- 
ges of  sin,  death,  and  hell,  and  made  heir  by  free  gift,  of 
the  wages  of  righteousness,  eternal  life,  and  glory. 

I  wait  for  thy  salvation  ! 


February,  1804. 

A  new  thing  is  on  the  wheel  in  the  city  of  New- 
York.  A  Society  of  ladies,  organized  for  die  purpose 
of  relieving  widows  with  small  children,  was  new  in 
this  country.  It  is  now,  by  the  blessing  of  God,  appa- 
rently established.  It  was  entered  upon  with  prayer  : 
it  has' been  conducted  thus  far  with  prayer.  The  bless- 
ing of  God  has  rested  upon  it,  and  much  good  has  been 
done  by  it.  Some  of  us  have  looked  long,  and  request- 
ed of  God  to  open  a  way  by  which  the  children  of 
these  widows  might  be  instructed  and  taught  to  read  his 
word,  and  by  his  blessing  on  it,  come  to  the  knowledge 
of  the  way  of  -alvation.  One  mean  has  been  attempt- 
ed of  an  ordinary  kind:  twelve  children  wore  last 
week  placed  at  school  with  Mrs.  L — ,  to  be  taught 
to    read*     and    some    more   are    to  be    placed    with 


140  DEVOTIONAL    EXERCISES. 

another  of  our  widows,  for  the  same  purpose.  But 
this  indeed  is  new.  A  Society  of  young  ladies,  the 
first  in  rank  in  the  city,  in  the  very  bloom  of  life,  and 
full  of  its  prospects,  engaged  in  those  pleasures  and 
amusements  which  tend  to  engross  the  mind,  and  shut 
out  every  idea  unconnected  with  them ;  coming  for- 
ward and  offering,  (not  to  contribute  towards  a  school,) 
but  their  own  personal  attendance,  to  instruct  the  ig- 
norant. O  Lord,  prosper.^  If  this  be  of  thee,  it  shall 
prosper,  and  be  productive  of  much  good ;  but  if  thou 
bless  not,  it  will  come  to  nothing  but  shame.  No  ^ood 
can  be  done  but  by  thee,  for  there  is  none  good  but  God; 
and  what  are  all  thy  creatures,  but  instruments  in  thy 
hand,  by  which  thou  bringest  to  pass  the  purposes  of 
thy  will.  Christians,  redeemed,  enlightened,  sanctified,- 
are  no  more,  thou  workest  all  their  works  in  them,  they 
themselves  are  thy  workmanship  created  in  Christ  Jesus, 
unto  good  works,  which  thou  hast  prepared,  that  they 
should  walk  in  them.  Worldlings  also  are  thy  instru- 
ments, by  them  also  thou  workest  and  bringest  to  pass 
the  counsels  of  thy  will;  thou  puttest  into  their  heart 
the  good  thing  which  thou  Workest,  and  girdest  them 
for  the  purpose  ;  though  not  the  children  of  thy  Cove- 
nant, they  are  the  instruments  of  thy  providence. 

O  Lord,  take  up  this  matter:  gird  these  young  wo- 
men to  this  very  purpose,  and  prosper  tliem  in  the  art 
of  teaching  these  orphans  of  thy  Providence.  And, 
O  Lord,  hear  my  more  important  petition.  I  am  not 
worthy  to  be  heard.  O  Lord,  I  am  not  worthy  to  be 
named  .in  connexion  with  any  good  done  by  thee.  / 
am  the  chief  of  sinners,  the  chief  of  backsliders  i  every 
thing  in  me,  of  me,  or  by  me,  is  vile  as  far  as  it  is-  mine. 
All  that  is  otherwise,  all  good  implanted  in  me,  or  done 
by  me,  is  thine  own;  it  is  Grace,  free  Grace,  the  pur- 


DEVOTIONAL    EXERCISES.  141 

chase  of  thine  own  anointed,  my  dear  Redeemer,  my 
dying,  risen,  ascended  Saviour,  and  the  fruit  of  the 
Holy  Ghost,  the  sent  of  the  Father  and  of  the  Son,  to  set 
up  a  kingdom  of  righteousness,  in  the  hearts  of  the 
redeemed.  O  then,  as  a  sinner  saved  by  Grace,  to 
whom  thou  hast  been  pleased  to  give  the  exceeding 
great  and  precious  promises ;  let  me,  under  the 
sprinkling  of  the  blood  of  the  Covenant,  and  in  entire 
dependence  on  my  surety  righteousness ;  let  me  draw 
near  and  present  my  petition ;  in  the  name,  and  for 
the  sake,  of  him  whom  thou  nearest  always.  O  Lord 
God  almighty,  by  this  very  thing,  build  up  thy  Zion. 
O  lay  hold  of  these  young  creatures,  and  while  they 
are  in  the  way  of  thy  providence,  bring  them  to  the 
house  of  our  masters  brethren.  O  thou  great  Teacher, 
teach  thou  teacher  and  taught.  Be  found  of  them 
who  seek  thee  not,  and  say  with  power,  Behold  me, 
behold  me,  to  a  people  not  yet  called  by  thy  name,  and 
out  of  this  small  thing  in  thy  providence,  bring  reve- 
nues of  praise  to  thy  name  as  the  God  of  grace. 
Amen. 

And  now,  O  Lord,  for  myself,  I  pray  for  deep  humi- 
lity ;  I  ask  for  his  sake,  who  was  meek  and  lowly,  to 
be  kept  where  my  place  really  is,  (for  all  that  which 
thou  knowest,)  at  the  feet  of  all  thy  servants;  and  if  ii 
be  thy  pleasure  to  make  me  a  useful  instrument — in 
proportion  make  me  a  humble  soul.  Let  me  ever 
remember  my  ways  and  be  ashamed,  and  never  open  my 
-mouth  any  more  because  of  my  shame,  token  thou  art  pa- 
cified toicards  me  for  all  that  I  have  done.  O  keep  me  in 
this  contrite  frame  of  mind.  In  all  that  to  which  thou 
callest  me,  give  me  a  willing  heart,  and  furnish  me 
with  every  necessary  for  thy  glory.  And  now  pre- 
pare me  to  speak  to  these  young  women  good  and  ac- 


142  DEVOTIONAL  EXERCISES. 


ceptable  words.  Save  me  from  sacrificing  truth,  or  de- 
parting, in  any  respect,  from  Christian  duty;  give  me 
such  wisdom,  as  may  be  suited  to  the  occasion ;  in  all 
things  mine  eyes  are  to  the  Lord,  from  thee  let  my  fruit 
be  found. 


February  17,  1804.  ' 
Saturday  the  11th.  Twenty-nine  young  ladies  met 
with  Mrs.  Hoffman  and  myself,  at  Mr.  O.  Hoffman's, 
Wall-street,  on  purpose  to  receive  instructions  respect- 
ing the  school,  and  having  paired  themselves  accord- 
ing to  their  mind,  I  delivered  what  I  had  prepared  for 
them ;  they  all  seemed  hearty  in  their  engagement ;  and 
on  Monday  the  13th  inst.  Miss  L — t  and  Miss  L — n,  at-, 
tended  at  the  school-room,  and  commenced  teaching 
thirteen  children  ;  four  have  been  added  since. 

Again,  O  Lord,  let  me  request  thy  blessing  on  this 
institution,;  put  thy  seal  upon  it,  and  mark  it  for  thine 
own.  Gird  the  teachers  for  their  work,  and  open  the 
minds  of  the  scholars  to  instruction.  '  And,  0  Lord,  in 
thine  own  time,  and  by  means  of  thy  own  devising, 
provide  spiritual  instruction  for  teachers  and  taught. 
Is  it  thy  pleasure,  Lord,  that  I  attend  the  children  on  a 
day  appointed  for  the  purpose  ?  Wilt  thou  accept  of 
me  as  an  instrument,  by  which  thou  wilt  do  good  to  the 
souls  of  these  children,  and  wilt  thou  keep  me  humble 
and  contrite  in  my  own  soul?  Bless  also  Mrs.  L's 
school ;  there  too  let  thy  work  appear  ;  deal  with  her 
soul  as  thou  dealest  with  thy  chosen  ;  teach  her  the  way  of 
salvation,  and  make  her  a  teacher  by  thine  own  Spirit. 
If  it  be  my  dear  Master's  pleasure  to  use  me,  J  would 
also  attend  that  school  as  his  instrument.  Search  me,  O 
Lord,  and  know  my  heart,  try  me  and  know  my  thoughts, 


DEVOTIONAL  EXERCISES.  143 

and  see  if  there  be  any  wicked  way  in  me,  and  lead  me  in 
the  way  everlasting. 


February  21,  1804, 
O  thou,  who  art  Alpha  and  Omega,  the  first  and  the 
last,  who  holdest  the  seven  stars  in  thy  right  hand,  and 
walkest  in  the  midst  of  the  seven  golden  candlesticks,  who 
livest  and  was  dead,  and  art  alive  for  evermore.  Amen. 
And  hast  the  keys  of  Hell  and  of  death.  Out  of  thy  mouth 
goeth  a  sharp  two  edged  sword,  by  which  thou  readi- 
est the  hearts  of  the  most  hardened.  O  write  with 
power,  speak  with  power,  in  the  heart  of  the  angel 
of  this  church.  Hast  thou  not  in  former  days  had  thy 
dwelling  amongst  them ;  in  days  of  trouble  didst  thou 
not  work  in  them  the  fruits  of  labour  and  patience,  so 
that  for  thy  name's  sake  they  laboured  and  fainted  not. 
Thou  blessedst  them  and  gave  them  peace,  and  they 
rejoiced  in  the  light  of  thy  countenance  ;  thou  multi- 
pliedst  them  also,  so  that  from  a  handful  they  became 
two  bands.  Alas,  Lord,  we  have,  Ephraim  like,  waxed 
fat  and  kicked;  we  have  left  our  first  love  ;  we  have  not 
watched  and  prayed,  as  thou  gavest  commandment, 
and  thou  hast  left  us  to  enter  into  temptation;  we  have 
forsaken  the  counsel  of  our  old  men,  and  given  heed  to 
flatterers  ;  we  have  forgotten  our  dependence  on  thee, 
and  said,  Ashur  shall  save  us,  we  will  ride  upon  horses  ; 
We  have  set  up  our  idols  in  our  hearts,  and  put  the 
stumbling  block  of  our  iniquity  before  our  eyes  ;  we  have 
taken  counsel,  but  not  of  thee,  and  covered  ourselves  with  a 
covering,  but  not  of  thy  Spirit  ;  we  have  gloried  in  our 
own  wisdom,  and  strengthened  ourselves  in  our  own  strength 
We  are  poor,  and  blind,  and  miserable,  and  naked, 
rich  in  our  fancied  wisdom,  seeing  by  our  own  light, 


144  DEVOTIONAL    EXERCISES. 

compassing  ourselves  about  with  our  own  sparks,  and 
flaunting  in  our  own  rags;  we  feed  on  ashes,  a  deceived 
heart  has  turned  us  aside. 

O  Lord,  the  hope  of  Israel,  and  the  Saviour  thereof 
It  is  of  the  Lord's  mercies  that  we  are  not  consum- 
ed. To  us  belong  shame  and  confusion  of  face,  (O 
cover  us  with  it)  but  to  thee  belongs  mercy.  Humble 
us,  O  Lord,  and  we  shall  be  humbled,  turn  us,  and  we 
shall  he  turned. 

It  is  in  our  nature  to  backslide  for  ever ;  thou,  and 
thou  only,  knowest  the  deceitfulness  of  the  heart ;  thou, 
and  thou  only,  canst  search  it.  O  search  us,  and  try  us, 
and  shew  us  what  wicked  ways  there  are  in  us,  and  lead  us 
in  the  way  everlasting.  Deal  not  with  us  according  to  our 
sins,  but  according  to  the  multitude  of  thine  own  mercies,. 
We  have  no  other  plea ;  our  sins  call  for  judgment, 
and  untill  thou,  thy  own  blessed  self,  turn  us,  we  are  in 
no  situation  to  receive  mercy.  Work  with  us  for  thy 
name's  sake,  establish  with  us  thine  own  covenant  of 
free,  unmerited,  undeserved  mercy.  Then  shall  we 
know  that  thou  art  the  Lord  ;  then  shall  we  remember, 
and  be  confounded,  and  never  open  our  mouth  any  more, 
because  of  our  shame,  when  thou  art  pacified  with  us  for 
all  that  we  have  done. 

Make  us  thine  by  thy  own  covenant,  established  in 
Christ,  thine  own  anointed ;  the  blessed  surety,'  by 
thine  own  appointment;  our  substitute,  on  whom  it 
hath  pleased  thee  to  lay  the  iniquities  of  us  all ;  in  whose 
sacred  person  thou  tookest  vengeance  for  all  our  sins ; 
by  whom  thy  law  is  fulfilled,  magnified,  and  made  ho- 
nourable ;  whose  doing  and  suffering  in  our  stead,  is 
accepted  by  Jehovah.  The  Lord  is  well  pleased -for  his 
righteousness  sake.  No  covenant  short  of  one  fulfilled 
in  every  jot  and  tittle,  could  benefit  us. 


DEVOTIONAL    EXERCISES.  145 

Tky  covenant  is  well-ordered  in  all  things,  and  it  is 
sure. 

Here,  O  Lord,  I  take  my  stand  ;  here  I  lay  my 
foundation,  and  on  this  thy  covenant  I  build  ;  or  rather 
here  thou  thyself  hast  laid  my  foundation,  and  on  this 
rock  hast  thou  set  my  soul  and  built  my  hopes ;  thou 
subduing  my  enmity.  I  acquiesce.  I  will  now  remem- 
ber the  years  of  thy  right  hand,  look  back  to  thy  deal- 
ings with  thine  own  nation,  whom  thou  didst  choose, 
and  set  apart  from  all  other  notions,  though  of  the  same 
blood  with  all  those  that  dwell  on  the  face  of  the  ivhole 
ear'h. 

They,  like  us,  destroyed  themselves,  but  in  thee  was 
their  help.  They  also  sinned,  committed  iniquity,  and 
did  wickedly;  they  remembered  not  thy  mercy,  but 
provoked  thee  at  the  Red  Sea,  after  the  great  deliver- 
ance thou  hadst  wrought  for  them,  and  the  wonders 
thou  madest  to  pass  before  them  in  the  land  of  Egypt 
Nevertheless  thou  savedst  them  for  thy  name's  sake, 
that  thou  mightest  make  thy  mighty  power  known ; 
thou  didst  repeat  thy  wonders,  and  didst  dry  up  the 
sea  before  them.  He  fed  them  with  corn  from  Heaven  ; 
they  did  eat  angel's  food.  He  clave  the  rock  in  the  wil- 
derness, and  caused  waters  to  run  down  like  a  river:  After 
all,  they  forsook  the  God  of  their  mercies;  they  be- 
lieved not  his  promises,  nor  trusted  in  his  salvation  ; 
they  lusted,  and  they  murmured,  and  desired  to  turn  back 
to  Egypt.  Thou  didst  chasten  them  sore  for  their  sin,  and 
didst  bring  down  their  heart  with  grief. 

When  thou  didst  slay  them,  they  sought  thee,  and  re- 
membered that  God  was  their  rock,  and  the  most  high  God 
their  Redeemer.  Nevertheless  they  did  fatter  with  their 
mouth  and  lied  unto  thee  with  their  tongue,  for  their  heart 
was  not  right  with  thee,  neither  were  they  steadfast  in  tlry 

T 


146  DEVOTIONAL    EXERCISES. 

covenant.  But  thou  being  full  of  compassion  forgavest 
their  iniquity  and  destroyedst  them  not ;  yea,  many  a  time 
turnedst  thou  away  thine  anger,  and  didst  not  stir  up  all 
thy  wrath. 

O  how  many  times  did  they  turn  bade,  tempted  God,  and 
limited  the  Holy  One  of  Israel  Yet  didst  thou  fulfill  all 
thy  promises,  and  by  wonders  in  the  sea,  wonders  in  the 
desert,  wonders  in  Z oar's  field,  and  in  the  camps  of  their 
enemies,  he  led  them  safely  tx>  the  border  of  his  sanctuary, 
to  the  mountain  which  his  right  hand  had  purchased.  He 
cast  out  the  Heathen  before  them,  and  gave  them  rest  in  the 
Land  of  Promise.  Even  there  they  provoked  the  Most 
High,  provoked  him  to  jealousy  with  their  graven  images. 

Again  thou  didst  chasten  them  sore,  let  loose  the 
corruptions  of  men  upon  them,  and  didst  suffer  thenr 
to  fall  before  their  enemies.  Thou  deliveredst  thy  strength 
into  captivity,  and  thy  glory  into  the  hands  of  their  enemies 

Ye,t,  O  Lord,  ever,  ever  and  again  didst  thou  deli- 
ver them,' and  sentest  provision  for  them  by  thine  own 
covenant:  chose  David  thy  servant,  and  took  him  from 
the  sheep  folds,  from  following  the  ewes  great  with  young. 
Thou  broughtest  him  to  feed  Jacob  thy  people,  and  Israel 
thine  inheritance.  So  he  fed  them  according  to  the  integrity 
of  his  heart,  and  guided  them  by  the  skilfulness  of  his  hands. 

Such  are  the  people  with  whom  thou  hast  still  to  do. 
Such,  O  God  of  infinite  mercy  !  such'the  God  with 
whom  we  sinners  have  to  do  !  even  the  Lord  God 
merciful  and  gracious,  long  suffering,  slow  to  anger,  for- 
giving iniquity,  transgression  and  sin  ;  who  will  by  no 
means  clear  the  guilty.  O  what  could  man  or  angel  have 
done  with  this  last  character  of  thy  name  ?  Thy  co- 
venant makes  provision.  In  Christ  Jesus,  our  blessed 
substitute,  all  is  reconciled.  Thy  name  is  one;  the 
just  God  and  the  j testifier  of  the  ungodly,  who   believe  in 


DEVOTIONAL    EXERCISES.  147 

Jesus.  This  God  is  our  God,  we  will  make  mention  of 
his  righteousness,  and  his  only.  By  his  own  covenant,  in 
his  own  time,  and  by  means  of  his  own  providing,  he 
will  revive  us.     Amen. 


April,  1804. 
All  my  desire  is  before  thee,  and  it  is  all  contained  in 
thy  well   ordered  Covenant.     Many  years  of  vanity, 
of  idolatry,  of  backsliding,  wandering,  and  folly,  have 
passed   over  my   head,  since  I  first  took   hold  of  thy 
Covenant.      O  how  fickle,  false,  and  deceitful,  have  I 
proved ;  yet  thou  knowest,  thine  own  Spirit  through  all 
my  wanderings  testified  in  my  heart,  that  out  of  the 
channel  of  this  Covenant,  there  could  be  neither  safety 
nor  comfort;    and  never,  so  far  as  I  can  remember, 
have   I  deliberately  chosen  to  be  dealt  with  by  any 
other.     Its  corrections  and  chastisements  have  reach- 
ed the  deepest  sensibilities  of  my  heart.      Thine  arrows 
stuck  fast  in  me,  thy  hand  pressed  me  sore;  there  was  no 
soundness  in  my  flesh,  neither  rest  in  my  bones,  because  of 
my  sin  ;  mine  iniquities  went  over  my  head,  were  a  burden 
too  heavy  to  bear.     I  was  feeble,   and  sore   broken,   and 
roared  by  reason  of  the  disquiet  of  my  heart.     My  lovers 
and  friends  stood  aloof  from  my  sore,  and  my  kinsmen 
stood  afar  off.     I  was  ready  to  halt,  and  my  sorrow  was 
continually  before  me :  yet  even  in  my  darkest,   deepest 
afflictions,  when  deep  called  to  deep,  and  thy  waves  and 
billows  were  passing  over  me;    when   my  soul  seemed 
sinking  in  the  mire,  where  there  was  no  standing,  I  grop- 
ed in  the  dark ;  my  heart  panted,  my  strength  failed,  and 
the  light  of  mine  eyes  seemed  gone  out.     I  was  weak  with 
my  groaning  ;  in  the  night  I  made  my  bed  to  swim  with 
my  tears,  yet  even  then,  by  that  same  Covenant,  by 


148  ©EVOTIONAL    EXERCISES. 

which  I  was  suffering,  light  sprung  out  of  darkness, 
glimmering  hope  in  the  midst  of  despair.  /  remember- 
ed the  years  of  thy  right  hand,  in  the  multitude  of  my 
thoughts  within  me,  (the  provision  made  in  this  Cove- 
nant,) thy  comforts  delighted  my  soul. 

I  was  furnished  with  a  plea  which  would  condemn* 
by  every  covenant  but  thine,  pardon  my  iniquities* 
for  they  are  great.  Thou,  even  thou,  art  he  who  blottest 
out  transgressio7is  as  a  cloud,  and  iniquity  as  a  thick 
cloud.  Verily,  thou  art  a  God  that  pardoneth,  though 
thou  takest  vengeance  on  the  inventions  of  thy  rebel- 
lious children.  Vengeance,  not  the  vengeance  of 
curse,  no  ;  that,  O  thou  blessed  Covenant,  given 
of  the  people  !  Thou  blessed  surety,  that  fell  on 
thy  devoted  head  !  Thou  by  this  covenant  wast 
made  a  curse  for  us.  Thou  didst  tread  the  wine-press 
alone,  and  of  the  people  there  was  none  to  help  thee. 
Thou  didst  expend  the  last  drop  of  that  cup .  of 
vengeance.  Every  cup  put  into  our  hand,  though 
a  cup  of  trembling,  is  a  cup  of  blessing.  I  this  day, 
take  a  fresh  hold  of  thy  Covenant,  for  myself,  for 
my  children,  and  for  my  children's  children  to  the 
latest  generation.  For  my  brother  and  sister,  for  their 
children,  and  children's  children;  for  the  near  con- 
cerns of  our  dear  D.  B. ;  and  for  all  whom  I  carry,  on 
my  mind  to  thy  throne  of  Grace.  This  is  the  sum 
and  substance  of  my  prayers.  Bring  them  into  the 
bond  of  this  Covenant,  and  deal  with  them  according 
to  the  order  of  it,  and  the  provision  made  for  them  in 
it,  in  all  possible  circumstances.  Amen. 


O  God,  in  the  multitude  of  thy  mercies  hear  me,  in  the 
truth  of  thy  salvation.     Truth  of  thy  salvation  !     Thou 


DEVOTIONAL    EXERCISES.  149 

only  knowest  the  truth  of  thy  salvation.  How  little 
do  we  know  of  thy  work ;  many  of  those  providences 
which  appear  to  us  dark  and  dismal,  are  wheels  turn- 
ing round  the  truth  of  thy  salvation.  Opening  our 
blinded  eyes  to  the  issues  of  sin,  and  also  delivering 
from  the  snares  of  the  devil.  Deal  not,  O  Lord,  with 
me,  and  mine,  as  our  iniquities  deserve  :  this  has  never 
been  thy  way  with  us ;  but  according  to  thy  former  lov- 
ing kindness,  and  to  all  the  long  suffering  patience,  and 
pardoning  mercy,  which  thy  aged  servant  has  expe- 
rienced, through  her  sinful,  guilty,  pilgrimage.  Thou 
hast  forgiven  me,  all  the  way  from  Egypt.  Leave  me 
not  now,  when  I  am  old  and  gray  headed ;  but  when 
strength  and  heart  fail,  be  thou  the  strength  of  my  heart, 
and  portion  for  ever.  Amen. 


Rock  away,  August,  1809. 
Sweet  health  again  returns,  which,  considering  the 
agitation  of  my  mind,  surprises  me;  but  it  is  the 
Lord's  pleasure.  I  did  not  wish  to  recover.  I  was  in 
hopes  the  Lord  was  about  to  deliver  me  from  "  this 
body  of  sin  and  death."  Lord,  reconcile  me  to  thy 
most  holy  will.  Health  is  certainly  a  great  blessing. 
I  feel  its  sweetness.  O  make  me  thankful !  Great 
and  numerous  are  my  mercies.  Every  thing  pleasant, 
and  every  thing  necessary,  to  life,  to  godliness,  is  mine  : 
food  and  raiment  to  the  utmost  desires  of  nature,  the 
beauties  of  thy  fair  creation,  surround  my  ordinary 
d welling.  My  dear  little  room,  my  bible,  and  books 
of  every  virtuous  kind,  (by  Grace,  thy  chief  mercy,  1 
desire  no  other ;)  and  by  the  kindness  of  my  children, 
I  possess  all  as  if  they  were  my  own  personal  proper!  \  . 
By  thy  wonderful  loving  kindness,  thou  hast  given  me, 


150  DEVOTIONAL    EXERCISES. 

instead  of  the  contempt  which  I  have  merited,  the 
love  and  esteem  of  thy  people,  and  thou  hast  made  the 
very  stones  of  the  field  to  be  at  peace  with  me,  so  that 
where  ever  I  go,  I  meet  with  kindness. 

January,  1810. 

Come  and  let  us  return  unto  the  Lord,  for  he  hath  torn, 
and  he  will  heal  us  ;  He  hath  smitten,  and  he  will  bind  us 
up.  After  two  days  will  he  revive  us,  in  the  third  he  will 
raise  us  up,  and  we  shall  live  in  his  sight. 

O  Lord,  turn  us  and  we  shall  be  turned,  draw  lis  and 
we  will  run  after  thee.  Revive  us,  and  we  shall  live  in 
thy  sight.  Thou  must  ever  be  first.  It  is  in  our  na* 
ture  to  backslide  for  ever :  and  whenever  we  see  a 
backslider  restored,  or  a  rebel  lay  down  the  weapons 
of  rebellion,  there  we  may  trace  thy  footsteps,  O  God 
of  grace. 

No  external  Providence  will  touch  our  hard,  our 
deceitful  hearts.  All  that  goes  under  the  name  of 
misfortune,  will  but  drive  us  from, thee,  never  to  thee, 
till  thou  teach  us  to  profit,  and  lead  us  by  the  way  that 
we  should  go.  Thou  callest,  Return*,  ye  backsliding 
children,  and  I  will  heal  your  backslidings  ;  but  we  have 
been  foolish,  sottish  children,  without  understanding, 
wise  to  do  evil,  but  to  do  good  having  no  knowledge. 

O  Let  the  days  be  come,  that  day,  and  that  time, 
when  the  children  of  America,  (the  earth  is  the  Lord's,) 
shall  come  with  weeping,  and  seek  the  Lord  their  God: 
when  they  shall  ask  the  way  to  Zion,  with  their  faces 
thitherward:  when  they  shall  come,  saying,  Let  us 
join  ourselves  to  the  Lord  in  a  perpetual  Covenant,  never 
to  be  forgotten.  O  the  hope  of  Israel,  and  the  Saviour 
thereof:  is  not  that  day  and  that  time  come  ?  Hast  thou 
not  been  working  on  the  right  hand  and  on. the  left? 


DEVOTIONAL  EXERCISES.  151 

Thou  hast  given  us  pastors  according  to  thine  own 
heart,  who  feed  us  with  knowledge  and  understand- 
ing ;  and  thou  art  here  and  there  proving  thy  Gospel, 
thy  power,  and  thy  wisdom,  to  the  salvation  of  sin- 
ners; casting  down  the  imaginations  of  pride,  and 
bringing  all  into  subjection  to  thy  Son  Jesus. 

O  pour  out  the  spirit  of  grace  and  supplication  upon 
thy  living  members,  that  they  may  wrestle  with  thee, 
and  not  let  thee  go  until  thou  bless  us,  until  thou  make 
this  cloud  like  a  man's  hand,  cover  our  heavens  with 
blackness,  and  issue  in  a  plentiful  rain.  O  pour  water 
upon  him  that  is  thirsty,  and  floods  on  the  dry  ground,  thy 
Spirit  upon  our  seed,  and  thy  bfessing  upon  our  offspring. 
O  Lord,  hast  thou  not  said  that  thou  wilt  do  it,  and 
that  they  shall  spring  up  as  among  the  grass,  and  as  wil- 
lows by  the  water  courses.  One  shall  say,  I  am  the  Lord's, 
another  shall  call  himself  by  the  name  of  Jacob,  and  an- 
other shall  subscribe  with  his  hand  unto  the  Lord,  and  sur- 
name himself  by  the  God  of  Israel  Amen,  O  our  God, 
amen. 

Last  week,  the  Lord's  young  servant,  Mr.  R — n. 
baptized  seven  adults,  Mrs.  B —  and  her  two  daugh- 
ters, Dr.  H —  and  sister,  Mr.  C — ,  and  a  black  wo- 
man, servant  to  Mr.  H — .  It  was  a  glorious  sight, 
and  revived  the  hearts  of  God's  people  who  witnessed 
it.  O  God  of  grace,  grant  that  the  fruits  of  righteous- 
ness,  may  prove,  that  while  thy  young  servant  was  bap- 
tizing with  water,  thou  didst  baptize  with  the  lioh 
Ghost,  andwith  purifying  fire.  O  grant  full  proof  that 
they  are  broken  off  from  the  wild  olive  tree,  and  graft- 
ed into  thee,  thou  living  and  life-giving  olive  tree;  from 
thee  must  their  fruit  be  found.  O  cause  them  to  bring 
forth  much  fruit.     Herein  is  the  Father  glorified,  that  they 


152  DEVOTIONAL    EXERCISES. 

bear  much  fruit,  so  shall  they  be  Christ's  disciples,  and 
attain  to  the  assurance  of  that  happy  state.  Father, 
glorify  thy  name  !  Amen. 


IB  10. 

In  December,  1809,  a  Bible  Society  was  organized 
in  New- York,  and  about  the  same  time  twenty  re- 
spectable characters  united  in  a  Society,  to  wait  on  the 
Lord,  to  know  what  their  hands  could  find  to  do,  to 
promote  his  glory,  to  advance  his  kingdom,  to  spread 
the  savour  of  the  Redeemers  name,  or  in  any  way  to 
benefit  the  souls  of  their  fellow  sinners. 

On  Monday  a  meeting  for  prayer  was  instituted 
in  Hetty  Street,  and  another  in  Mulberry  Street, 
with  which  the  Presbyterian  ministers  have  agreed 
to  meet  in  rotation.  It  is  the  Lord!  We  have 
heard  of  revivals  all  around,  but  feared  lest  the  ag- 
gravated sins  of  New-York  might  provoke  the  Lord 
to  pass  by,  leaving  our  fleece  dry,  while  the  dew  wet  all 
around.  Great  have  been  our  privileges ;  the  Gospel 
trumpet  has  sounded  in  every  corner  of  our  city.  The 
Lord's  sent  servants,  have  set  before  us  life  and  death, 
assuring  us  from  God's  word,  that  though  hand  join  in 
hand,  the  wicked  shall  not  go  unpunished. :  beseeching  us 
to  flee  from  the  wrath  to  come,  and  lay  hold  on  the  hope  set 
before  us.  God  in  his  providence  has  visited  us  with 
mercies  and  with  judgments  :  stricken  us,  and  healed 
us ;  scattered  us,  and  gathered  us:  but  alas!  alas !  we 
kept  *  eating  and  drinking,  marrying  and  giving  in  mar- 
riage. Many,  very  many,  wasting  their  time,  health, 
and  substance,  in  all  manner  of  immorality,'  and  our 
rulers  caring  for  none  of  these  things  :  yea,  many  of 
them  practising  the  same  things;  and,  Oh!. Oh!  God'« 


DEVOTIONAL    EXERCISES.  153 

own  saved  people  sitting  still,  restraining  testimony  be- 
fore men,  and  prayer  before  God.  What  were  we  to 
expect  but  that  God  should  say,  why  should  they  be 
stricken  any  more,  they  will  revolt  more  and  more,  they 
are  joined  to  their  idols,  let  them  alone.  Such,  O  Lord, 
would  be  the  case,  didst  thou  not  deliver  us  out  of  our 
own  self-destroying  snares.  If  thou  turn  us  not,  we 
shall  never  turn ;  it  is  in  our  nature  to  backslide  for 
ever. 

But  Oh !  is  not  the  time  come  to  pass,  when  before 
thy  people  call,  thou  answerest,  and  while  they  are  yet 
speaking,  thou  hearest.  Art  thou  not  calling  with  pow- 
er, Return,  ye  backsliding  children,  and  I  will  heal  your 
backslidings  ?  and  hast  thou  not  prepared  their  hearts 
to  answer,  Behold  we  come  unto  thee,  for  thou  art  the 
Lord  our  God :  truly,  in  vain  is  salvation  looked  for  from 
the  hills,  and  from  the  multitude  of  mountains,  truly, 
from  the  Lord  our  God  is  the  salvation  of  Israel  Hast 
thou  not,  O  God,  prepared  the  hearts  of  thy  people 
to  pray,  and  thine  ear  to  hear  ?  Is  not  this  Bible  Soci- 
ety, and  are  not  these  associations  for  prayer,  tokens 
from  thee,  for  good  ?  More  and  more,  Lord,  may  thy 
people  give  thee  no  rest,  until  thou  make  Zion  a  praise 
in  the  earth.  O  the  hope  of  Israel,  and  the  Saviour  there- 
of be  not  as  a  wayfaring  man,  that  turneth  aside  for  a 
night.  May  thy  people  constrain  thee  to  abide  with 
us  for  ever,  to  form  us  a  people  for  thyself  to  show 
forth  thy  praise. 

I  have  just  conveyed  dear  Mrs.  A — le  to  the  con- 
fines of  the  eternal  world.  I  trust  the  dear  Redeemer 
received  her  spirit.  I  have  a  good  hope  that  she  is  now 
in  possession  of  the  mansion  purchased  and  prepared 
for  her,  by  that  dear  Saviour,  whose  name  she  pro- 
fessed, and  I  think  in  an  humble,  steady,  quiet  way, 

U 


154  DEVOTIONAL    EXERCISES. 

faithfully  followed.  She  loved  the  word  of  God,  the 
house  of  God,  the  people  of  God.  She  spoke  little* 
but  said  she  had  a  good  hope ;  asked  me  to  read  the 
Bible  different  times,  and  also  to  pray  ;  said  the  invita- 
tions of  the  Gospel  were  sweet  to  her:  observed, 
that  the  Lord  had  been  very  merciful  to  her  in  her  af- 
fliction. 

A  few  hours  before  her  death  she  desired  me  to  read 
that  hymn,  "  To  him  that" loved  the  souls  of  men,  &c." 
Also,  "  Come  let  us  join  our  cheerful  songs,  &c."  She 
asked  me  if  I  thought  she  would  be  long ;  I  said   no, 
my  dear ;  you  will  very  soon  be  w7ith  Jesus  ;  and  en- 
couraged her  as  the  Lord  enabled  me.     She  repeated 
the  question   some  time  after,  and  I  gave  the  same  an- 
swer.    She  then   said,  "  this  night."     I.  answered  yes,. 
my  love,  this  night.     She  bowed  her  head  with  a. sweet 
smile,  laid  it  in  a  reclining  posture,  and  evidently  set 
herself  to  wait  with  patience  the  Lord's  time.     She*  was 
very  much  oppressed,  and  breathed  with  much  diffi- 
culty.    Some  time  after,  she  asked  me  to  pray,  which 
T  did,  and  begged  that   the   Lord  would  increase  her 
faith  and  patience,  and   if  according  to  his   will,  give 
her  a  gentle  passage,  and   an  abundant  entrance.     In 
a  short  time  her  breathing  became  short  and  low,  she 
shut  her  eyes,  and  gently  breathed  weaker  and  weak- 
er, till  her  God  delivered  her  without  motion  or  groan. 
I  was  on  my  knees  praying.     I  then  thanked  God  for 
his  goodness,  in  this  sweet  dismission.     Prayed  for  the 
husband,  the'  children,  the   two  young  men  present, 
and  us    all;  gave  glory  to  God,  and  rose  to  watch  to 
further  duty. 

O,  my  God,  is  not  my  own  death  at  hand  ?  It  is  a 
hard  battle.  My  Jesus  !  Thou  knowest  the  struggle. 
I  too  must  drink  of  this  cup ;  mix  it  for  me,  my  Re- 


DEVOTIONAL    EXERCISES.  155 

deemer.  O  let  a  full  sense  of  free  pardon,  the  recol- 
lection of  the  great  and  precious  promises,  a  bright 
view  of  the  joys  at  God's  right  hand,  as  the  fruit  of 
thy  death,  be  applied  to  my  soul  in  that  awful  hour ! 
Spirit  of  the  Father  and  of  the  Son  !  pour  in  the  oil 
and  wine  of  thy  consolations  in  that  trying  hour.  O 
let  me  not  be  straitened  !  Open  wide  to  my  soul  the 
leaves  of  that  well-ordered  covenant,  of  which  Christ 
himself  is  the  sum  and  substance.  Redeeming  God, 
may  I  experience  proof  in  that  solemn  hour,  that 
thy  flesh  is  meat  indeed,  and  thy  blood  is  drink  indeed!  O 
feed  me  with  this  living  food  !  may  I  feel  life  spring  up 
in  my  soul,  and  be  assured  that  I  shall  never  die  !  O, 
my  God  !  grant  one  more  request.  Open  my  lips,  and 
let  them,  as  well  as  my  heart,  be  filled  with  the  high 
praises  of  my  redeeming  God. 

I  know  I  am  unworthy  ;  the  vilest  of  the  vile  ;  but 
magnify  thy  grace.  I  have  much  forgiven  ;  O  let  my 
heart  burn  with  love  and  gratitude  in  that  hour,  and 
my  lips  utter  its  effusions  in  songs  of  praise  !     Amen. 

When  the  short  thick  breathing  comes,  and  the  slow 
fetches  sealing  up  speech,  and  expelling  the  spirit  from 
its  abode,  O  let  me  hear  or  understand  thee,  saying 
unto  me — It  is  /,  be  not  afraid. 


Rochaway,  June  15,  1810. 
Came  here  the  1st  of  the  month,  with  the  children 
in  the  whooping-cough.  No  "  church-2;oing  bell" 
here,  but  the  Lord  is  every  where  ;  and  I  have  found 
him  here,  warming  my  heart  with  gratitude  and  con- 
trition, and  drawing  it  out  in  prayer,  for  his  people 
met  to  worship  in  his  sanctuary. 


156  DEVOTIONAL  EXERCISES. 

When  at  a  distance  from  ray  own  people,  it  has  been 
my  practice  to  join  with  whatever  class  of  professing 
Christians  might  be  near  me.  Here  it  has  been  with 
the  Methodists,  who,  I  believe,  enjoy  communion  with 
God.  Yesterday  I  went  to  a  meeting  of  Friends,  a 
people  whose  works  praise  them,  and  bespeak  the  tree 
good  which  bears  such  fruits  :  but,  O  my  God  !  what 
could  I  do,  shut  up  with  either  ?  Without  the  finished 
work  of  my  Saviour,  I  could  have  no  hope  ;  without 
his  law-fulfilling  righteousness,  I  must  stand  a  law-con- 
demned sinner.  The  Preacher  yesterday  took  no  text; 
in  the  course  of  his  sermon,  he  said  the  Scriptures  were 
only  secondary  guides,  the  Spirit  in  the  heart  was  the 
first.  He  began  with  the  importance  of  thinking  of 
death,  said  he  thought  it  could  not  be  possible  for  a 
rational  being  to  live  carelessly,  with  thoughts  of  death 
and  eternity  in  view.  Is  it  so  ?  No — we  see  sinners 
die  under  the  full  conviction  that  they  are  dying,  as 
thoughtless  as  they  have  lived.  He  said  that  by  con- 
stantly attending  to  the  motions  of  the  Spirit  and  com- 
plying with  them,  Christians  arrived  at  a  state  of  per- 
fection even  here  ;  and  brought  in  that  text,  He  thai 
is  born  of  God  cannot  sin,  &c.  Spoke  highly  of 
watchfulness,  and  avoiding  connexion  with  the  world  ; 
said  a  real  Christian  could  not  hold  any  office  of  power 
among  men.  Paul  held  one,  but  he  behoved  to  give  it 
up  when  he  became  an  apostle.  Christ's  kingdom  was 
not  of  this  world.  Laws  and  officers  were  necessary 
anions:  the  men  of  the  world,  but  not  among  Christians. 
Spoke  of  the  cross  of  Christ  as  consisting  in  suffering 
and  self-denial.  His  blood  was  the  Spirit  which  cleans- 
ed from  all  sin,  by  delivering  all  who  obeyed  him, 
from"  its  power.  He  named  riot  my  blessed  Saviour, 
except  when  he  had  occasion  to  mention  some  of  his 


DEVOTIONAL    EXERCISES.  157 

moral  sayings.  He  said  indeed,  that  He  was  the  Light 
that  lightened  every  man  that  came  into  the  world, 
and  the  condemnation  was,  that  men  would  not  re- 
ceive it;  but  one  word  of  his  blessed  Priesthood  he 
spoke  not — but  said  we  were  in  a  state  of  probation, 
and  every  one  would  be  judged  according  to  his  works, 
taking  into  view  the  advantages  he  had  enjoyed;  re- 
commended the  reading  of  the  Scriptures,  especially 
the  inspired  books,  the  New  Testament,  and  the  Pro- 
phets ;  for  it  needed  no  inspiration  to  write  the  nation- 
al history  of  the  Jews,  more  than  that  of  any  other 
nation.  Said  the  Scriptures  were  good  secondary 
guides,  and  contained  excellent  lessons  and  truths. 
When  I  was  coming  away,  he  offered  me  his  hand, 
and  said,  thou  art  not  a  resident  here.  I  answered 
no,  I  was  separated  from  my  own  people,  but  wished 
to  unite  with  any  class  of  Christians  who  met  profess- 
edly to  worship  God ;  but  confessed  I  could  not  live 
upon  what  he  had  this  day  delivered.  He  asked  what 
was  wrong.  I  answered,  he  had  given  some  good  ex- 
hortations ;  I  agreed  with  him  in  many  things  respect- 
ing conduct ;  I  missed  the  foundation  :  he  repeated 
the  Scripture — other  foundation  can  no  man  lay,  &c. 
I  said  exactly — off  this  foundation  there  is  no  salvation 
— on  this  foundation  there  may  be  loss,  but  no  condem- 
nation. We  have  a  great  and  a  merciful  High  Priest, 
who  can  have  compassion  on  the  ignorant,  and  them 
who  are  out  of  the  way,  and  there  may  be  straw,  hay, 
stubble,  which  will  be  burnt  up,  but  the  soul  itself, 
being  on  the  foundation,  is  safe.  He  said  with  firm- 
ness, that  will  be  burnt  up  in  this  world,  without  holi- 
ness no  man  shall  see  the  Lord.  I  said  true,  but  why 
avoid  the  tenure  of  Scripture  ;  read  all  the  Epistles, 
the  Lord  Jesus  Christ,  the  Gift  of  God,  the  Propitia- 


158  DEVOTIONAL    EXERCISES. 

tory  Sacrifice,  the  meritorious  law-fulfilling  righteous- 
ness, is  set  forth  in  every  one  of  them,  as  that  which 
saves  from  wrath  and  entitles  to  eternal  life.  He  said 
they  were  all  emblems  of  our  being  made  holy  in 
heart  and  life — Christians  were  baptized  unto  the  death 
of  Christ,  and  rise  with  him  to  newness  of  life,  buried 
with  him,  &c.  I  granted  that  as  one  reading  of  these 
words.  He  said  every  other  view  was  shadow.  I  said 
no — the  blood  of  bulls  and  goats  is  shadow.  Christ 
himself,  his  person,  his  offices,  his  life,  his  sufferings, 
his  death,  his  burial,  resurrection,  ascension  and  inter- 
cession within  the  vail,  are  all  substance — the  sole  foun- 
dation of  my  hope  and  my  only  plea  at  a  throne  of 
Grace. 


Dear  Name,  the  rock  on  which,  I  build, 

My  shield  and  hiding  place, 
My  never  failing  treas'ry  fill'd 

With  boundless  stores  of  Grace. 
Jesus!    my  Husband,  Shepbefd,  Friend, 

My  Prophet,  Priest  and  King,t 
My  Lord,  my  life,  my  way,  my  end, 

Accept  the  praise  I  bring. 


Rockaway,  August,  1810. 

Hebrews  is  my  ordinary,  when  no  other  passage 
of  scripture  attracts  my  particular  attention.  This  is 
the  third  morning  I  have  opened  the  New  Testament 
on  the  xiv.  chapter  of  John,  and  have  fed  delightfully 
on  the  first  three  verses.  There  is  at  all  times  a  thorn 
in  my  heart,  keeping  me  in  continual  remembrance  of 
my  vile,  ungrateful  backslidings,  so  that  I  eat  my 
sweetest  morsels  with  bitter  herbs.     It  was  particularly 


BEVOTIONAL    EXERCISES.  159 

painful  to  me  this  morning  ;  nevertheless,  the  Lord  God, 
merciful    and   gracious,  repeated    on   my   heart,    Let 
not  your  heart  be  troubled,  neither  let  it  be   afraid.     I 
was  arrested    at    the    4th    verse,    Whither    I  go    ye 
know,  and  the  way  ye  know.     I  have  had  many  com- 
fortable exercises  on  the  8th  verse,  the  Redeemer's  an- 
swer   to  Philip's   inquiry.     But  this  morning  my  mind 
was  led  to  a  different  view  of  that  saying,  and  which  I 
think  was  literally  included.     The  Redeemer  was  going 
to   his  Father,  and  his   way  lay    through   death,    the 
death  of  the  cross.     The  hour  was  at  hand  when  he 
was   to  make  his  holy  and  righteous   soul  an  offering 
for  sin,  that  he  might  become  the  author  of  salvation 
to  all  who  obey  him.     All  the  sins  confessed,  and  par- 
doned by  the  sacrifices  under  the  law,  were  laid  on  this 
blessed  surety — they  were   on*ly  the  shadows,  He  was 
the  substance,  the  real  Lamb  of  God  which  takes  away 
the  sin  of  the  world,  was  now  to  be  offered  up.     This 
was  He,  who  said,  Sacrifice  and  offering  thou  wouldst 
not,    but  a  body  hast  thou  prepared  me  :  in   burnt   of- 
ferings and  offerings  for  sin  thou  hast  had  no  pleasure  ; 
then  said  I,  lo,  I  come  to  do  thy  will,  O  God."     By  the 
will  of  God   we  are  sanctified  through  the  offering  of 
the  body  of  Jesus  Christ  once  for  all. 

He  was  going  to  the  garden — Oh  that  garden  ! — 
Peter  had  said  he  was  able  to  drink  of  that  cup  and  to 
be  baptized  with  that  baptism.  Ah  no,  Peter !  that 
exceeding  sorrow  in  the  garden,  when  no  visible  hand 
was  upon  him,  was  a  cup,  the  least  drop  of  which 
Avould  have  overwhelmed  the  strongest  angel.  No 
strength  short  of  omnipotent  could  have  sustained  that 
hour  and  power  of  darkness.  It  was  not  the  scourge, 
the  thorns,  the  nails,  nor  the  last  pangs  of  dissolution  ; 
through  all  these  he  was  as  a  lamb  led  to  the  slaughter, 


160  DEVOTIONAL    EXERCISES. 

and  as  a  sheep  before  her  shearers,  dumb.  It  was  a 
mysterious  horror,  of  which  no  created  being  can,  nor 
ever  will  have  any  conception.  It  was  this  that  wrung 
the  great  drops  of  blood  through  every  pore  of  his  sa- 
cred body  :  This  that  extorted  the  agonizing  prayer, 
Father,  if  it  be  possible,  let  this  cup  pass  from  me. 
And  again,  in  his  last  moments  on  the  cross,  Mij  God, 
my  God,  why  hast  thou  forsaken  me?  Blessed,  for- 
ever blessed,  be  our  Jehovah  Jesus,  who  said,  Not 
my  will,  but  thine  be  done !  The  will  of  God  was 
done,  and  he  said,  It  is  finished,  and  gave  up  the 
Ghost. 

All  his  people  must  follow  him  by  the  way  of  death, 
nearly  all  his  disciples  followed  by  the  death  of  the 
cross,  and  many  others  after  them,  supported  by  his 
almighty  grace,  rejoiced  that  they  were  counted  wor- 
thy to  suffer  for  his  sake  ;  but  they  drank  not  of  that 
cup. 

Some  of  his  people,  for  holy  and  wise  purposes,  have 
had  a  taste  in  the  hiding  of  God's  face,  but  no  curse  ; 
that  he  himself  drank  to  the  last  drop  ;  Fie  trod  the 
wine  press  alone,  and  of  the  people  there  ivas  none  to 
help  him.  By  his  own  death  he  destroyed  him  that 
had  the  power  of  death,  and  secured  victory  to  all  his 
followers  :  he  changed  its  aspect  from  that  of  the 
king  of  terrors  to  that  of  a  welcome  messenger  from 
their  redeeming  God,  to  conduct  them  to  those  blessed 
mansions  which  he  has  purchased  and  prepared  for 
them ;  neither  will  he  leave  them  alone  with  that  mes- 
senger, Jlnd  if  I  go,  I  will  come  again  and  receive 
you  to  myself,  that  where  I  am  there  ye  may  be  also. 
1  will  not  leave  you  comfortless,  I  will  come^  to  you. 
The  world  seeth  me  no  more,  but  ye  see  me,  because 
I  live,  ye  shall  live  also.     Let  not  your  heart  be  trou- 


DEVOTIONAL    EXERCISES.  161 

hied,  neither  let  it  be  afraid.     Amen.     Come,  Lord  Je- 
sus. 

Psalm  xl.  6.  Sacrifice  and  offering  thou  didst  not 
desire;  mine  ears  hast  thou  opened;  burnt-offering,  and 
sili-offering  hast  thou  not  remiircd  ;  then  said  I,  Lo  1  com*, 
in  the  volume  of  the  book  it  is  written  of  me;  I  delight 
to  do  thy  will,  O  my  God:  yea,  thy  law  is  in  my  heart. 
Heb.  x.  8.  Above  when  he  said,  Sacrifice  and  offering, 
and  burnt-offerings,  and  offering  for  sin  thou  wouldst  not, 
neither  had  pleasure  therein,  which  are  offered  by  the  law  ; 
then  said  he,  Lo  I  come  to  do  thy  will,  O  God.  He  taketh 
away  the  first,  that  he  may  establish  the  second.  By  the 
which  will,  we  are  sanctified  through  the  offering  of  the 
body  of  Jesus  Christ  once  for  all.  This  man,  after  he 
had  offered  one  sacrifice  for  sins,  for  ever  sat  down  on  the 
right  hand  of  God.  For  by  one  offering  he  hath  perfect- 
ed for  ever  them  that  are  sanctified ;  whereof  the  Holy 
Ghost  also  is  a  witness  to  us :  for  after  that  he  hath  said 
before,  chap.  viii.  10.  now  repeated  chap.  x.  16.  This  is 
the  Covenant  that  I  will  make  icith  them  after  those  days, 
(in  consequence  of  Christ's  doing  the  will  of  God,  ful- 
filling all  righteousness  :)  /  will  put  my  laws  into  their 
hearts,  and  in  their  minds  will  I  write  them :  and  their 
sins  and  their  iniquities  will  I  remember  no  more.  Now, 
where  remission  of  these  is,  there  is  no  more  offering  for 
sin.  Having,  therefore,  boldness  to  enter  into  the  holiest 
by  the  blood  of  Jesus,  by  a  new  and  living  way,  which  he 
hath  consecrated  for  us,  through  the  veil,  that  is  to  say, 
his  flesh  ;  and  having  an  High  Priest  over  the  house  of 
God,  let  us  draw  near  with  a  true  heart,  in  full  assurance 
of  faith,  having  our  heart.;  sprinkled  front  an  evil  con- 
science, and  our  bodies  washed  with  pure  water.  Let  us 
hold  fast  the  profession  of  our  faith  without  wavering  ; 

X 


162  DEVOTIONAL    EXERCISES. 

for  he  is  faithful  that  promised.  Again,  the  Lord  swarc\ 
and  will  not  repent ;  thou  art  a  priest  for  ever  after  the 
order  of  Melchisedcc.  By  so  much  ivas  Jesus  made  a 
surety  of  a  better  testament ;  because  he  continueth  ever. 
and  hath  an  unchangeable  priesthood.  Wherefore,  he  is 
able  to  save  to  the  uttermost  those  that  come  unto  God  by 
him,  seeing  he  ever  liveth  to  make  intercession  for  them. 
Christ  glorified  not  himself  to  be  made  an  High  Priest  ■; 
but  He  that  said  iinto  him,  Thou  art  my  Son,  to-day  have 
I  begotten  thee,  saith  also  in  another  place,  Thou  art  a 
Priest  for  ever  after  the  order  of  JYIelchiscdec.  Again, 
chap.  vii.  28.  For  the  law  maketh  men  high  priests  which 
have  infirmity  ;  but  the  word  of  the  oath  which  was  since 
the  law,  maketh  the  Son  ivho  is  consecrated  for  ever  more. 
Acts  x.  36.  The  word  which  God  sent  unto  the  children 
of  Israel,  preaching  jieace  by  Jesus  Christ :  He  is  Lord 
of  all.  How  God  anointed  Jesus  of  JVazareth  with  the 
Holy  Ghost  and  with  power,  icho  went  about  doing  good 
and  healing  cdl  thai  were  oppressed  by  the  devil,  for  God 
was  with  him.  To  him  give  all  the  prophets  witness,  that 
through  his  name  ivhosoever  believcfh  en  him  shall  receive 
remission  of  sins. 


Rockaway,  Septetnbcr  10,  1811. 
I  have  been  here  four  Sabbaths.  The  first  I  spent 
at  home,  the  weather  not  permitting  our  going  abroad ; 
the  second,  I  spent  at  a  Prayer  Meeting  with  the  Me- 
thodists ;  the  third,  we  rode  to  Hemstead,  where  I 
heard  two  plain  Gospel  sermons,  from  Mr.  C — ,  Pres- 
byterian minister;  and  the  last,  I  attended  at  the  Epis- 
copal Church,  same  place  ;  heard  a  good  plain'  Gospel 


DEVOTIONAL    EXERCISES.  163 

sermon  from  Mr.  H — ,  and  witnessed  the  dispensation 
of  the  Lord's  Supper. 

To  sing  the  praises  of  our  redeeming  God,  and  to 
lift  up  my  heart  in  prayer  with  my  fellow  sinners,  in 
the  comfortable  hope,  that  there  are  other  living  souls 
praising  and  praying  with  me,  refreshes  me  :  to  hear 
the  word  of  God  read,  and  to  be  led  to  meditate  upon 
it,  however  simple  and  common  the  exposition,  also 
refreshes  me.  I  am  generally  led  to  pray  much,  for 
minister  and  people,  to  consider  myself  as  one  with 
them  in  Christ,  especially  if  the  minister  be  regularly 
bred,  and  ordained  by  the  laying  on  of  the  hands  of  the 
Presbytery.  However  weak  his  natural  powers  ;  how- 
ever few  or  small  his  talents,  if  I  have  reason  to 
think  that  he  is  taught  of  God,  that  which  flesh  and 
blood  cannot  teach,  I  desire  to  esteem  him  highly  for  his 
work's  sake.  I  thank  God  for  the  meanest  and  weakest 
of  such :  I  believe  they  never  do  labour  in  vain.  Out 
of  the  months  of  babes  and  sucklings,  in  talents  as  well 
as  in  years,  God  will  perfect  praise. 

In  this  new  world,  thickly  settled  in  many  places 
with  natural  men,  eating  and  drinking,  marrying  and 
giving  in  marriage,  while  the  flood  of  wrath  is  hasten- 
ing to  overwhelm  them,  and  none  to  warn  them  of  their 
danger,  nor  point  out  the  ark  of  safety ;  shall  such 
men  be  reckoned  of  none  account,  and  their  labours 
of  no  value  ?  No,  the  wealth  of  both  Indies  cannot 
balance  their  work.  No,  nor  all  the  talents  ever  pos- 
sessed by  fallen  man,  with  all  the  orthodoxy  which 
mere  talents  are  capable  of  acquiring,  without  that 
divine  teaching  which  many  of  those,  thus  contemned, 
possess.  That  same  small  discourse,  those  few  plain 
points,  these  same  things  repeated  in  the   same   way, 


164  DEVOTIONAL    EXERCISES. 

contain  truths  by  which  sinners  may  be  saved,  I  be* 
lieve  by  which  sinners  shall  be  saved. 

Suppose,  (for  it  is  but  a  supposition,)  that  these  men 
have  made  a  mistake.  They  are  the  Lord's,  and  in 
their  place  by  his  providence.  He  will  be  forth-com- 
ing for  them,  and  without  miracle.  From  him  shall 
their  fruit  be  found,  anal  his  power  be  manifested  by  their 
weakness.  Exert  your  energies,  ye  gifted  Doctors,  of 
Divinity;,  and  may  the  Lord  prosper  the  means  used 
to  produce  a  ministry  which"  shall  render  attendance 
Upon  their  ministrations  the  interest  of  both  the  under- 
standing and  the  heart.  Persuade  men  who  are  iadd- 
ing  field  to  field,  house  to  house,  thousand  to  thousand, 
to  provide  a  competent  maintenance  for  them.  If  these 
last  remain  obstinate,  and  it  be  idle  to  hope  that  youths 
of  talents  without  fortune,  whatever  be  their  piety, 
will  serve  the  church  of  God  at  the  expense  of  devot- 
ing themselves  to  infallible  penury,  and  all  the  wretch- 
edness which  belongs  to  it — is  it  wise  to  weaken  the 
hands  and  discourage  the  hearts  of  those  ministers, 
already  settled  pastors,  or  to  furnish  their  people  with 
arguments  in  their  own  vindication,  for  leaving  them 
in  want  and  penury  ? 


Sacrament  Sabbath,  May  J7,  1812.  . 
Was  much  melted  under  a  sense  of  indwelling  sin, 
and  the  deceitfulness  of  the  human  heart,  and  of  my 
own  heart  in  particular.  I  have  been,  I  think,  much 
in  the  exercise  of  contrition,  for  the  sins  of  my  past 
life,  and  exercised  in  watching  over  my  words, 
thoughts,  and  actions ;  now  that  the  Lord  has  deliver- 
ed me  from  all  necessity  to  care,  having  every  thing 


DEVOTIONAL    EXERCISES.  165 

provided  for  me,  necessary  to  life  and  godliness :  plea- 
sant food  and  clothing  also  to  my  mind ;  mj  dear  room, 
retirement,  fire,  candle,  attendance  ;  my  precious 
Bible,  and  precious,  lively,  spiritual  sanctuary  ordi- 
nances ;  a  faithful  and  beloved  pastor,  who  feeds  me 
with  truth:  I  taste  it,  and  I  am  fed.  I  am,  as  the  Lord 
God  merciful  and  gracious  has  awarded,  under  the 
constant  influence  of  shame  and  confusion  for  my 
highly  aggravated  transgressions ;  but  I  also  enjoy  the 
full  sense  of  pardon ;  being  justified  by  faith,  /  have 
peace  icilh  God,  through  our  Lord  Jesus  Christ ;  and 
knowing  that  I  have  a  great  High  Priest  that  is  passed 
into  the  Heavens,  Jesus  the  Son  of  God,  I  am  enabled 
to  hold  fast  my  profession,  comforted  by  this,  that 
/  have  not  a  high  priest  who  cannot  be  touched  with  the 
feeling  of  my  infirmities,  but  teas  in  all  points,  tempted 
as  we  are,  yet  without  sin.  I  dare  come,  (not  very 
boldly,)  for  I  am  under  much  depression,  to  the  throne 
of  Grace,  that  I  may  obtain  mercy,  and  find  grace  to  help 
in  time  of  need.  Every  time  is  a  time  of  need  with 
me,  for  sin  still  dwelleth  in  me.  I  have  peace  with 
God,  through  my  dear  Lord  and  Saviour,  Jesus  Christ, 
hut  am  at  constant  war  with  myself.  I  plead  thy  pro- 
mise, that  thou  wilt  subdue  my  iniquities.  That  sin  shall 
not  have  dominion  over  me.  And  now,  Captain  of  salva- 
tion, I  renew  the  fight,  but  it  is  depending  upon  thee  to 
fight  for  me,  with  me,  and  in  me.  I  will  set  myself  to 
watch,  but  I  shall  watch  in  vain,  if  thou  keep  not  the 
avenues  of  my  heart,  and  the  door  of  my  lips.  O  clothe 
me  with  thy  meek  and  lowly  Spirit ! 


Sabbath,  July  26,  1812. 
Tired  of  the  bustle  of  Rockaway,  and  having  some 


166  DEVOTIONAL    EXERCISES. 

subordinate  motives  for  returning  home  for  a  time,  I 
embraced  this  season  in  particular;  having,  in  the 
compass  of  one  week,  Sabbath,  Wednesday  my  birth 
day,  and  the  day  set  apart  both  by  the  General  As- 
sembly of  our  Church,  and  the  Governor  of  our 
State,  for  fasting,  prayer,  and  humiliation,  besides  lec- 
ture on  the  same  evening.  I  returned,  therefore,  on 
Friday,  the  24th. 

This  day,  Dr.  R — n  preached  from  the  1st  verse 
of  the  27th  Psalm,  The  Lord  is  my  light  and  my  sal- 
vation ;  whom  shall  I  fear  ?  the  Lord  is  the  strength 
of  my  life  ;  of  whom  shall  I  be  afraid  ?  He  spoke  of 
the  nature  and  causes  of  fear,  of  the  perfections  of 
God,  and  the  security  of  believers  in  those  perfections. 
He  spoke  of  the  faith  which  unites  to  Christ,  and 
.secures  the  safety  and  true  interest  of  believers,  in 
every  possible  case.  His  chief  design  seemed  to  be 
to  strengthen  the  weak,  and  confirm  the  fearful  and 
the  doubting,  who  had  nevertheless,  both  from  former 
and  present  experience,  a  good  right  to  the  consola- 
tions of  the  text.  A  •"-. 

O  my  God  !  my  merciful  and  gracious  God  ! !  what 
can  I  say  of  thy  amazing,  distinguishing  mercy  to  me  ? 
Delivered  from  all  these  fears,  and  able  to  adopt  the 
text  fully,  I  know  of  none  who  have  more  or  greater 
cause  of  fear  as  sinners.  My  transgressions  have  been 
of  crimson  and  scarlet  hue.  O  my  God,  thou  knowest 
them,  words  cannot  paint  them.  My  Saviour,  thou 
knowest  them,  for  thou  baredst  them!  every  jot  and 
tittle  was  put  to' thy  account,  and  thou  didst  cancel  all ! 
O  that  garden  !  that  cry  on  the  cross  !  the  effects  were 
seen  on  thy  sacred  body,  but  who  can  conceive  the 
mysterious  horror  which  agonized  thy  sacred  soul ! 
But- thou  saidst,  It  is  finished,  and  finished  it  is.    Lamb 


DEVOTIONAL    EXERCISES.  167 


of  God,  which  taketh  away  the  sins  of  the  world  !  on  thy 
consecrated  head  I  lay  the  hand  of  faith,  confess  my 
sins,  pray  for  forgiveness,  and  believe  that  I  am  for- 


given. 


July  29th,  my  birth  day,  and  the  last  day  of  the 
three  score  years  and  ten  of  my  sinful  life.  What  an 
exhibition  will  that  day  produce,  when  the  secrets  of 
all  hearts  will  be  laid  open,  all  my  actions,  and  all  the 
springs  of  them.  In  all  the  myriads  which  shall  ap- 
pear at  the  bar  of  God,  will  there  be  such  a  sinner  ? 
taking  into  view  the  early  grace  manifested. 

Born,  I  think,  about  the  seventeenth  year  of  my  na- 
tural life ;  previously  instructed  in  the  doctrines  and 
precepts  of  the  scriptures,  as  far  as  the  natural  mind 
can  conceive,  by  pious  parents  and  a  faithful  pastor; 
milk  provided  for  my  spiritual  infancy,  and  richer  food 
set  before  me  for  my  growth ;  the  leaves  of  the 
New  Covenant  were  opened  to  my  view,  and  the  ful- 
ness treasured  in  Christ,  for  my  supply ;  to  be  asked, 
to  be  sucked,  to  be  delighted  in — and  delighted  I  was, 
and  satisfied.  But  Oh  !  Oh  !  Oh !  I  forsook  the  foun- 
tain of  living  waters,  and  hewed  out  broken  cisterns  that 
could  hold  no  water.  Where  can  language  be  found  to 
depict  my  ingratitude,  my  madness,  my  folly ;  and 
where  to  describe  the  long-suffering,  the  compassion- 
ate remonstrances ;  the  kindly,  fatherly  chastisements ; 
the  repeated  pardons,  and  restorations  of  my  gracious 
God  in  days  of  youth:  aggravating  my  renewed  back- 
slidings,  bringing  upon  my  sinful  soul  vengeance  for  my 
inventions  ?  What  were  the  sins  of  Israel  and  Judali 
to  mine  ?  the  great  atonement  was  made,  the  adorable 
High  Priest,  Jesus,  had  with  his  own  blood  entered 
within  the  veil,  and  was  set  on  the  right  hand  of  the 
throne  of  the  Majesty  of  the  heavens  :  the  minister  of 


168  DEVOTIONAL    EXERCISES. 

the    sanctuary,    and  of    the    true   tabernacle  which    the 
Lord  pitched,  and  not  man. 

The  New  Covenant  was  exhibited,  established  on 
better  promises,  himself  the  Mediator.  The  new  and 
living  way  icas  consecrated  to  the  holiest  of  all  by  the 
blood  of  Jesus  ;  a  throne  of  grace  was  established ; 
Jesus  himself  our  Advocate  and  Intercessor.  We  are 
now  privileged  to  come  boldly  to  a,  throne  of  grace,  that 
we  may  find  grace  to  help  in  the  time  of  need.  O  how 
aggravated  my  sin  above  theirs,  having  such  great  and 
precious  privileges  and  promises,  and  a  High  Priest 
who  can  be  touched  with  the  feeling  of  our  infirmities, 
who  was  in  all  points  tempted  as  ice  are  ;  who  owns  us 
as  his  brethren  and  sisters,  yea,  the  very  members  of  his 
body,  and  his  Spirit  dwelling  in  us. 

I  set  apart  the  day  for  fasting  and  deep  humiliation,, 
took  another  survey  of  my  past  .sinful  life ;  confessed 
particulars  on  my  knees,  and  made  a  fresh  application 
to  the  blood  of  sprinkling  which  cleanseth  from  all  sin ; 
took  a  fresh  hold  of  his  New  Covenant  of  promise. — 
This  is  the  Covenant  that  I  will  make  with*  them  after 
those  days,  saith  the  Lord ;  I  will  put  my  laws  in  their 
hearts,  and  in  their  minds  will  I  write  them,  and  their  sins 
and  their  iniquities  will  I  remember  no  more.  Lord,  do 
as  thou  hast  said. 

J  rest  my  immortal  soul  on  thy  promise. 


July  30,  1812. 

The  day  set  apart  by  the  General  Assembly  and 
State  Legislature  for  fasting  and  humiliation,  confession 
of  sin,  and  prayer. 

Dr.  R—  read  the  2d  chapter  of  Jeremiah,  a  great 
portion  of  which  belongs  to  my  own  character,  as  an 


I>ETOTIONAL    EXERCISES.  169 

Individual ;  and  is  laid  up  as  part  of  that  provision 
which  is  to  support  me  through  the  last  stage  in  the 
wilderness,  and  through  Jordan,  .over  which  I  must 
shortly  pass  ;  laid  in  as  a  proof  of  the  amazing  long- 
suffering  of  God,  and  his  readiness  to  forgive,  even 
the  vile  backslider,  in  heart  and  life,  as  proclaimed  in 
■chapter  iiL 


Sabbath,  December  8,  1812. 

Dr.  R —  preached  from  Psalm  cxxxviii.  7,  8.  Though 
I  walk  in  the  midst  of  trouble,  thou  wilt  revive  me:  thou 
shalt  stretch  forth  thine  hand  against  mine  enemies,  and  thy 
right  hand  shall  save  me.  Text,  The  Lord  will  perfect 
that  which  concerns  me:  thy  mercy,  O  Lord,  endureth  foi 
ever :  forsake  not  the  works  of  thine  own  hands. 

I  will  no  longer  mourn  over  loss  of  memory ;  I  think 
the  Lord  has  more  than  made  it  up  to  me  by  his  sensi- 
ble presence,  while  hearing  and  applying  the  sermon 
to  my  heart,  at  the  time  :  not  only  so,  he  enlightens  my 
understanding ;  it  opens  more  to  the  elucidations  of  my 
Pastor ;  and  though  I  forget  the  words,  and  the  order 
of  his  discourses,  I  am  instructed  in  the  knowledge  of 
the  subject,  and  the  scriptures  in  general.  Shall  I 
deny  the  grace  of  God,  through  fear  of  pride  ?  I  see 
it  not  to  be  my  duty.  Can  I  attribute  any  thing  to 
myself?  No  ;  shame  and  confusion  of  face  belong  to  me 
for  my  carelessness  and  idleness  in  the  use  of  means, 
during  health  and  strength  of  body  and  mind.  Never 
has  God  dealt  with  me  as  I  sinned,  but  according  to 
his  own  mercy,  and  in  a  way  of  great  sovereignty. 
Let  me  record  his  great  goodness,  bis  tender  mercies, 
and  bless  his  name. 

Y 


170  DEVOTIONAL   EXERCISES. 

Old  age  is  upon  me,  and  some  of  its  infirmities ;  my 
memory  is  much  impaired,  and  my  mind,  in  temporal 
tilings  and  subjects,  becomes  very  desultory.  Not  so 
in  spirituals :  I  think,  I  not  only  hear  and  read  with 
more  intense  attention,  and  prompt  application ;  but 
my  mind  is  more  disposed  to  meditation;  and  though 
I  cannot  remember  much  of  the  sermons  I  hear,  yet 
my  mind  is  often  furnished  with  happy  and  profitable 
thoughts  on  the  same  subjects ;  and  I  find  myself  in- 
structed, without  remembering  the  instructions.  This 
is  evidently  from  the  Lord.  It  appears  to  me  also  that 
I  have  not  lost  the  sensibility  of  youth.  1  often  shed 
tears,  not  only  of  compunction,  but  of  gratitude.  I 
seldom  commune  without  tears.  I  think  much  of 
death  ;  am  solemnized,  but  not  afraid. 

As  far  as  I  know,  my  confidence  rests  iipon  a  surety- 
righteousness,'  exclusive  of  every  thing  in  myself.  1 
am  not  conscious  of  self-righteousness;  1  have  no 
complacency  in  any  thing  ever  done  by  me.  1  not 
only  believe,  that  in  all  things  I  come  short,  and  that 
sin  is  mixed  in  all  I  do,  because  God  hatli  said  so : 
but  am  sensible  of  the  particular  depravity.  It  is  my 
sincere  desire  to  be  stript  of  every  thing  that  is  mine; 
sins  and  duties  laid  in  one  heap,  and  I  clothed  in  the 
surety  righteousness  of  my  Redeemer:  all  that  is 
mine  put  to  his  account,  and  all  that  he  'did  and  suffer- 
ed, as  the  Mediator  and  surety  of  the  Covenant,  to 
mine. 

I  am  afflicted  with  rheumalisin,  but  God  gives  me 
patience,  enumerates  my  many  remaining  mercies; 
— eyes  to  Fead  his  word,  and  ears  to  hear  it  preached  : 
hitherto  such  moderation  of  pain  as  very  often  to  be 
able  to  attend  with  fixedness.  I  have  my  room  at  my 
own  command,  candle,  fire,,  and  attendance  ;  and,  O. 


DEVOTIONAL  EXERCISES.  171 

bless  the  Lord  my  soul !  much  of  his  sensible  presence* 
In  the  night  when  my  aches  prevent  me  from  sleeping, 
he  gives  me  some  sweet  hymn ;  I  sing,  my  pain  is  di- 
verted, while  my  heart  is  melted  and  warmed  under 
the  expressions,  and  I  often  drop  asleep  with  the  words 
on  my  tongue. 

I  am  convinced  that  the  provision  f  have  laid  in  for 
my  last  journey  in  the  wilderness,  an^  through  Jordan, 
is  selected  by  the  influence  of  the  Holy  Ghost.  He 
kikes  of  the  things,  of  Christ,  ami  shews  them  unto  me  ;  and 
while  he  keeps  upon  my  mind  my  meanness,  my  vile- 
ness,  wrings  my  heart  with  the  retrospect  of  my  back- 
slidings  and  highly  aggravated  transgressions,  he 
opens  at  the  same  time  the  leaves  of  the  New  Testa- 
ment, and  shows  me  my  deliverance  from  punishment, 
the  redemption  of  my  soul,  and  my  translation  into  the 
kingdom  of  God? s  dear  Son,  as  in  the  text ;  I  weep  and 
rejoice  ;  I  loathe  myself,  and  clasping  my  Saviour  to 
my  heart,  am  at  a  loss  for  words  to  express  how  pre- 
cious he  is  to  my  saved  soul  I 

"  Jesus !  I  love  thy  charming  name,. 

'Tis  music  to  my  ear,. 
Fain  would  I  sound  it  out  so  loud, 

That  Heaven  and  earth,  should  hear* 

Yes,  thou  art  precious  to  my  soul, 

My  transport,  and  my  trust, 
My  Saviour,  Shepherd,  Husband,  Fiie&£^, 

No  other  good  I  boast. 

All  my  capacious  powers  em  wish. 

In  tbee  doth  richly  meet, 
J^ot  to  mine  eyes  is  light  so  dear. 

Nor  friendship's  sell'  so  sweet. 

Thy  grace  shall  dwell  upon  my  hearty 

And  shed  its  fragran ce  there,. 
The  noblest  balm  of  all  my  wounds^ 
And  cordial  of  my  care^ 


172  DEVOTIONAL    EXERCISES. 

Fll  speak  the  honors  of  thy  name, 

While  I  have  life  and  breath, 
Then,  speechless,  clasp  thee  in  my  arms, 

The  antidote  of  death..'* 

Dr.  M.  preached  in  the  evening  from  Eph.  iii.  30 
— For  we  are  members  of  his  body,  of  his  flesh,  and  of  his 
bones.  It  was  a  rich  sermon ;  I  enjoyed  it  at  the  time, 
but  cannot  recall  it.  Blessed  Spirit !  keep  it  for  rae^ 
and  feed  me  with  the  substance  of  it,  as  I  stand  in 
need. 

Accept  of  my  thanks,  blessed  Jesus  !  that  through 
thy  meritorious  life  and  death,  I  have  an  interest  in  the 
great  whole.  Accept  of  my  thanks,  blessed  Spirit  I 
for  thus  taking  the  things  of  Christ  and  showing  them 
unto  me.  And  accept  of  my  thanks,  Father  of  mer- 
cies !  for  the  gift  of  thy  Son,  and  all  these  blessings  in 
him. 

Blessed  be  the  God  and  Father  of  our  Lord  Jesus  Christ, 
who.hath  blessed  as  with  all  spiritual  blessings  in  heavenly 
places^  in  Christ  Jesus.     Amen. 


Greenwich,  Sabbath. 

Heard  Dr.  M — r  preach  in  the  State  Prison  to  the 
convicts,  from  Luke  xix.  10. — For  the  Sotp  of  man  is 
come  to  seek  and  to  save  that  which  was  lost. 

He  addressed  them  as  fellow-sinners,  all  being  by 
nature  lost  and  dependent  on  the  same  means  for  re- 
covery. 

True,  my  heart  accords.  O  Lord,  thou  knowest 
I  stand  in  my'  own  estimation,  a  sinner,  the  chief  of 
sinners.  These  have  added  to  their  sin  against  thee, 
breach  against  men,  and  arc  suffering  the  penalty. 


DEVOTIONAL    EXERCISES.  173 

My   sins   have  been  chiefly,  though  far  from  exclu- 
sively,   against    God,  and    with    many  aggravations. 
That  I  was  born  in  a  Christian  land,  of  pious  parents, 
who  gave  me  religious  instructions  ;  brought  up  undei 
faithful,  lively  ministers,  and  in  religious  society ;  ex- 
posed to  few  temptations  but  what  arose  from  the  cor- 
ruptions of  my   own    heart,  are  aggravations   which, 
perhaps,  many  are  mourning  over,  as  heightening  the 
sin  of  unbelief  in  their  unregenerated  state.     But,  oh 
the  aggravations  !  the   painful  remembrance  of  which 
mars  my  comfort,  covers  me  with  shame  and  confusion, 
even  now,  though  I  know  that  God  is  pacified  icith  me, 
are  as  far  above  these   as  the   heavens  are  above  the 
earth.     For  in  that  Christian  land,  under  those  Chris- 
tian parents  and  faithful  pastors,  while  yet  young  and 
tender,  I  was  enlightened,  tasted  of  the  heavenly  gift,  was 
made  a  partaker  of  the  Holy  Ghost,  tasted  of  the  good  word 
of  God,  and  the  power  of  the  world  to  come.   I  was  taken 
from  the  fearful  pit  and  miry  clay  ;  my  feet   set   upon  the 
rock,  and  a  new  song  put  into  my  mouth,  even  to  the  amount 
of,  O  death  !  where  is  thy  sting  ? — of  redeeming  love, 
pardoning  grace,  new  covenant  mercy  ;  I  had  joy  and 
peace  m believing.     But  forgetting  my  natural  character, 
the  extreme  volatility  of  my  spirits,  my  taste  for  gayety  ; 
forgetting  the  danger  of  smothering  the  heavenly  spark, 
by  indulging  to  the  utmost  bound  of  lawful  pleasure  ; 
forgetting  my  continual  need  of  fresh  supplies  of  grace, 
to  preserve  and  feed  that  new  life  which  could  not  live 
on  earthly  food,  the  deceitfulness  of  my  heart,  the  in- 
junctions of  my  Bible  ;  I  became   cold,  negligent  in 
the  use  of  means,  distant  in  prayer,  lost  enjoyment, 
and  my  heart  naturally  carnal,  and  madly  fond  of  plea- 
sure, got  entangled.      The  lust  of  the  eye,  the  lust  of  the 
flesh,  and  the  pride  of  life,  regained  their  power;  other 


174  DEVOTIONAL    EXERCISES. 

loves  usurped  the  place  of  that  beloved,  who  had 
bought  me  with  his  blood,  and  betrothed  me  to  him- 
self! that  which  came  into  my  mind  was,  that  I  would  bt 
as  the  families  of  the  countries,  serve  %cood  and  stone* 
Blessed  be  his  name,  he  said,  it  shall  not  be.  He  brought 
me  into  the  wilderness  and  pleaded  with  me,  caused 
me  to  pass  under  the  rod,  brought  me  again  into  the 
bond  of  the  covenant.  O  how  often  hast  thou  wrong  fu 
with  me  for  thy  name's  sake >■!  One  self-willed  step  brought 
with  it  a  train  of  consequences  dangerous  to  spiritual 
life,  filling  even  the  path  of  duty  with  pits  and  snares, 
cutting  me  off  from  ordinances,  pastor,  parents,  church, 
country,  and  Christian  society  ;  placing  me  at  the  same 
time  in  the  midst  of  carnal  delights ;  and  every  thing 
in  my  natural  temper  and  disposition  congenial  to  them. 
What  saved  me  ?  What  in  heaven  or  earth  could  save 
me, hut  thy  covenant!  Truly  thy  covenant  standeth fast ;. 
therefore  I  was  not  lost  in  the  vortex,  for  I  mixed  in  it 
m- part.  But  the  Lord  God,  merciful  and  gracious,  slow 
io  anger,  abundant  in  goodness  and  truth,  forgiving  ini- 
quity, transgression  and  sin,  kept  his  eye  upon  me  :  many 
a  time  did  he  stop  up  my  path.  O  from  how  many  de- 
lusions of  my  own  seeking ;  how  many  snares  and 
nets  of  my  own  weaving;  how  many  pits  of  my  own 
digging,  hast  thou  delivered  me,  when  wandering,  be- 
wildered on  temptation's  ground,  in  the; cloudy  dark 
day!  How  often  hast  thou  sought  me  out ;  how  often 
bound  me  up  when  broken;  strengthened  me  when 
sick,  and  fed  me  with  judgment,  and  very,  very  often, 
thou  madest  thyself  known  to  me  !  I  knew  thy  hand 
when  it  'shook  the  rod,  when  it  arrested  me  on  some 
mad  career.  I  knew  thy  hedge,  thy  bar ;  saw  not  only 
escapes,  but  my  Deliverer :  often  paused,  turned,  and 
taok  a  fast  hold  of  thy  covenant,  9  I  had  no  afflictions  in 


DEVOTIONAL    EXERCISES.  ii.? 

those  days,  but  every  pleasure  lawful  to  be  enjoyed, 
and  natural  to  the  heart  of  woman  ;  but  no  Pastor,  no 
Church,  no  Christian  society  ;  yet  God  was  there,  my 
Bible,  my  Doddridge,  and  other  good  books*  And  to 
my  shame  and  confusion  this  day,  he  was  not  in  the 
midst  of  all  my  idolatry,  a  barren  wilderness,  nor  a  land 
of  drought  to  inc.  I  had  many  Sabbaths  :  literally  the 
Sabbath  was  a  sign  between  my  covenant  God  and  mc ; 
ill-spent  it  often  was,  but  not  with  company  :  it  was 
spent  in  retirement.  The  Lord  did  not  leave  me  so 
far  as  to  give  ftp  the  Sabbath  to  the  world.  Though 
my  heart  was  incrusted,  and  spiritual  life  scarcely  dis 
cernible,  sometimes  the  Lord  met  me,  and  strange  to 
tell,  not  with  threatening:?,  causing  terror,  but  with 
compunction,  melting,  turning,  and  ere  the  day  was 
over,  manifestations  of  pardon,  though  not  joy  ;  for  I 
was  grieved  at  my  ingratitude. 

I  did  expect  affliction  long  before  it  came,  and  my 
presumptuous  heart  calculated  upon  the  fruit  being  the 
peaceable  fruit  of  righteousness,  and  to  take  away  sin  ; 
but  still  I  held  my  way,  gadding  about,  drinking  the  loa- 
fers of  Sihor,  and  the  rivers  of  Syria,  and  eating  the 
world!ing?s  dainties.  Oh!  oh!  at  last  it  came  ;  yes,  it 
came.  Thou  didst  cut  ojf  the  desire  of  my  eyes  with  a 
stroke,  and  with  that  made  the  world  a  blank  to  me, 
But,  Oh!  the  stately  steps  of  thy  providential  mere j> 
previous  to  that  trying  hour  !  O  my  God,  I  must  ever 
wonder,  and  stand  amazed  at  thy  exuberant  grace  ' 
In  consistence  with  thy  covenant,  thou  mightest  have 
struck  mc  among  these  worldlings,  hi  that  dry  and  bar 
ren  land,  where  not  one  tongue  could  speak  the  lan- 
guage of  Canaan,  nor  bring  forth  from  thy  preciou: 
Bible  the  words  of  consolation  to  my  wounded  and 
bereaved    spirit:  richly   bed  I  merite'd  this,  but  nevev 


176  BEVOTIONAL    EXERCISES. 

no  never,  hast  thou  dealt  with  me  as  I  sinned  !  Through 
the  whole  of  my  life,  from  the  time  that  the  Lord  called 
me  out  of  darkness  into  his  marvellous  light ;  from  the 
time  that  he  first  led  me  to  the  Saviour,  and  enabled 
me  to  take  hold  of  his  covenant.  Wanderer,  backsli- 
der, transgressor,  rebel,  idolater,  ingrate — and  if  there 
be  any  name  more  expressively  vih  and  abominable^ 
that  is  mine.  And  from  the  hour  of  my  birth,  through 
the  whole  of  this  refractory  perverse  life,  the  Lord, 
the  Lord  God,  merciful  and'gracious,  long  suffering,  abun- 
dant in  goodness  and  truth,  forgiving  iniquity,  transgres- 
sion and  sin,  has  been,  and  now  is,  thy  name  to  me. 

No,  ye  strong  built  walls,  ye  grated  windows,  ye 
gloomy  cells,  ye  confine  no  such  sinner  as  I.  And  did 
the  Lord  take  vengeance  on  my  inventions  ?  O  no. 
Mercy  preceded,  mercy  accompanied  judgment;  yea, 
it  was  all  mercy,  not  vengeance.  He  brought  me  and 
my  idol  out  of  that  barren  land,  placed  us  under  the 
breath  of . prayer,  among  a  dear  little  society  of  metho- 
dists  ;  he  laid  us  upon  their  spirits,  and  when  the  mes- 
senger Death  was  sent  for  my  beloved,  the*  breath  of 
prayer  ascended  from  his  bedside,  from  their  little 
meeting,  and  I  believe  from  their  families  and  closets. 
The  God  of  mercy  prepared  their  hearts  to  pray,  and 
his  ear  to  hear,  and  the  answer  did  not  tarry.'  Behold, 
my  husband  prayeth  ;  confesses  sin  ;  applies  to  the  Sa- 
viour ;  pleads  for  forgiveness  for  his  sake  ;  receives 
comfort;  blesses  God  for  Jesus  Christ,  and  dies  with 
these  words  on  his  tongue,  "  I  hold  fast  by  the  Sa- 
viour !"  Behold, another  wonder  !  the  idolatress  in  an 
ecstacy  of  joy.  She  who  never  could  realize  a  separa- 
tion for  one  single  minute  during  his  life,  now  resigns 
her  hoards  treasure,  with  praise  and  thanksgiving  ! 


DEVOTIONAL    EXERCISES.  177 

0  the  joy  of  that  hour !  its  savour  remains  on  my 
heart  to  this  moment.  For  five  days  and  nights,  I 
had  been  little  off  my  knees ;  it  was  my  ordinary  pos- 
ture at  his  bed  side,  and  in  all  that  time,  I  had  but 
once  requested  life.  Surely,  the  spirit  of  prayer  and 
supplication  was  poured  out.  The  Spirit  helped  mine 
infirmities  with  groanings  which  could  not  be  uttered, 
leading  me  to  pray  for  that  which  God  had  determined 
to  bestow;  making  intercession  for  my  husband,  ac- 
cording to  the  will  of  God. 

O  sing  unto  the  Lord  a  new  song,  for  he  hath  done 
marvellous  things.  His  right  hand,  and  his  holy  arm  hath 
gotten  him  the  victory.  The  Lord  hath  made  known  his 
salvation.  His  righteousness  hath  he  openly  slwwn  in  the 
sight  of  the  heathen.  He  hath  remembered  his  mercy  and 
his  truth  toward  the  house  of  Israel.  All  the  ends  of  the 
forth  have  seen  the  salvation  of  our  God.     Psalm  xcviii. 


Friday,  December. 
Dr.  R — ,  on  John  iv.  10.    If  thou  knewest  the  gift  of 
God,  and  who  it  is  that  saith,  give  me  to  drink ;  thou 
wouldcst  have  asked  of  him,  and  he  would  have  given  thee 
living  water. 

This  is  part  of  my  provision  laid  in  for  my  passage. 
through  Jordan.  Christ  is  the  gift  of  God.  Christ 
is  the  water  of  life  :  he  is  this  living  water,  and 
the  bread  of  life  given;  given  by  God,  received  by  the 
sinner.  Life  and  comfort  are  experienced,  and  fruit 
produced  is  the  evidence ;  but  first  of  all,  this  gift 
must  be  known,  and  the  soul's  need  must  be  known  ; 
Christ  the  anointed  Prophet,  taught  this  woman  both, 

Z 


178  DEVOTIONAL    EXERCISES. 

and  no  other  can.  Search  me,  O  Lord,  and  try  me.  O 
hast  thou  not  taught  my  soul  its  miserable  and  ruined 
state  by  nature ;  its  helplessness  as  well  as  misery  ? 
Hast  thou  not  also  brought  me  to  this  living,  life-giving 
water?  Hast  thou  not  ?  Oh !  hast  thou  not  given 
me  faith  to  come  ?  faith  to  drink  ?  and  have  I  not  ex- 
perienced its  solacing  quality  ?  Has  it  not  satisfied 
my  soul,  and  in  some  degree,  allayed  my  thirst  for 
carnal  delights  ?  Blessed  Spirit,  the  gift  of  the  Father, 
and  of  the  Son  ;  pour  into- my  soul  repeated  draughts 
of  this  living  water ;  yea,  be  in  me,  according  to  my 
Redeemer's  promise,  a  well  of  water  springing  up  to 
eternal  life,  and  cause  me  to  bring  forth  fruit  to  the  glory 
of  the  Father. 

Other  foundation  can  no  man  lay,  than  that  ichich  is 
hid,  Christ  Jesus. 

Do  I,  O  my.Gocl,  seek  for  or  desire  any  other  foun^ 
datioh  ?  Are  not  all  my  hopes  for  time  and  eternity, 
built  on  this  foundation?  Is  not  Christ  all  my  salvation 
and  all  my  desire  ?  Do  Tnot  embrace  thy  Covenant 
just  as  it  is  ?  believing  that  thou  givest  unto  me  eternal 
life,  and  that  this  life  is  in  thy  Son,  whom  thou  hast 
given  to  be  a  Covenant  of  the  people.  Iniquities  prevail 
against  me;  but  thou  wilt  not  only  purge  them  away, 
but  thou  wilt  subdue  them :  Sin  shall  not  have  dominion 
over  me,  for  I  am  not  under  the  law,  but  under  Grace.. 


Sabbath,  January  18. 

Dr.  R — .  By  Grace  ye  are  saved,  through  Faith^  and 
that  not  of  yourselves,  it  is  the  gift  of  God. 

All  is  of  Grace,  all  is  free  gift ;  or  we'  wicked, 
wretched  sinners,  could  have  no  interest  in  it.    Thanks 


DEVOTIONAL    EXERCISES.  179 

be  unto  God  for  his  unspeakable  gift  of  Jesus  Christ, 
given  for  a  Covenant  of  the  people.  Thanks  be  unto 
God  for  the  gift  of  Faith,  by  which  we  apprehend  this 
Covenant,  and  become  interested  in  him,  as  the  salva- 
tion of  our  souls.  Thanks  be  unto  God  for  life  to 
work ;  for  new  principles  and  new  motives,  new  de- 
sires, new  hopes,  new  fears,  and  in  some  measure, 
new  conduct.  All  of  Grace,  and  to  the  God  of  Grace 
be  all  the  glory. 

Afternoon,  Dr.  R — .  Jeremiah  ix.  23.  Let  not  the 
ivise  man  glory  in  his  icisdom,  neither  let  the  mighty  man 
glory  in  his  might ;  let  not  the  rich  man  glory  in  his  riches : 
but  let  him  that  glorieth,  glory  in  this,  that  he  understandeth 
and  knoweth  me ;  that  I  am  the  Lord  which  exercise 
righteousness,  loving  kindness  and  judgment  in  the  earth; 
for  in  these  things  I  delight,  saith  the  Lord. 

O  Lord,  hast  thou  not  taught  me  by  thy  word,  by 
observation,  and  by  experience,  that  all  flesh  is  grass, 
and  all  the  glory  of  man  as  the  flower  of  grass  ?  Alas  ! 
how  much  have  I  gloried,  in  even  more  worthless  and 
transient  things ;  but  thou  hast  put  a  worm  in  them, 
which  I  hope  has  cut  the  roots,  and  they  are  in  a 
dying  state.  O  let  grace  supplant  them ;  let  me  now 
glory  only  in  thee,  and  thy  blessed,  gracious,  and  well 
ordered  Covenant.  Do  I  understand  and  know  thee, 
that  thou  art  the  Lord  which  exerciseth  righteousness, 
loving-kindness  and  judgment  in  the  earth  ?  Dare  I 
say  that  I,  worm  as  I  am,  and  a  sinful  worm,  am  the 
subject  of  this  loving  kindness,  through  the  righteous- 
ness of  Christ?  Yes,  I  dare,  by  the  constitution  of 
thine  own  Covenant ;  the  Covenant  of  the  people,  the 
Mediator,  guarantee  of  the  Covenant  of  Grace,  which 
is  all  summed  up  in  him. 


130  DEVOTIONAL    EXERCISES. 

When  thou  givest  Christ,  thou  givest  freely  all  the 
blessings  of  the  new  Covenant. 

This  is  the  record,  That  thou  hast  given  unto  us  eter* 
nal  life,  and  this  life  is  in  thy  Son. 

I  believe  the  record,  and  do  understand  and  know, 
that  thou  art  the  Lord,  &c 


February  8. 

Hebrews  xi.  24.  By  Faith,  Moses,  when  he  ivas 
come  to  years,  refused  to  be  called  the  Son  of  Pharaoh's 
daughter,  esteeming  the  reproach  of  Christ  greater  riches 
than  the  treasures  of  Egypt ;  for  he  had  respect  unto 
the  recompense  of  the  reward ;  choosing  rather  to  suffer 
affliction  with  the  people  of  God,  than  to  enjoy  the  plea- 
sures  of  sin  for  a  season. 

All  that  will  live  godly  in  Christ  Jesus,  shall  suffer  perse- 
cution; the  natural  heart  is  enmity  against  God,  and  hates 
his  image  wherever  found.  If  individual  Christians 
have  the  favour  of  individual  worldlings,  it  never  is 
for  their  piety,  that  is  rather  borne  with  than  loved ; 
and  too,  too  often,  Christians  save  themselves  from  re- 
proach by  unfaithfulness :  that,  alas !  has  been  my  sin 
and  shame.  In  all  my  friendships  with  worldlings, 
some  of  which  have  been  tender;  how  unfaithful  have 
1  been  to  friendship's  highest  office?  How  seldom 
have  I  endeavoured  to  rescue  my  Friend  from  sin 
and  Satan,  by  leading  her  to  the  friend  of  sinners, 
the  source  of  happiness  ?  contenting  my  vile,  selfish 
heart,  with  things  pertaining  to  this  life,  unconnected 
with  thrit  to  come,  leaving  her  exposed  "to,  and  under 
the  influence  of  the  Inst  of  the  eye,,  the  lust  of  the  fleshy 
and  the  pride  of  life  ;  without  eyes  to  see  her  danger, 
or  friend  to  warn  her  of  it :    and  while  she  communi- 


DEVOTIONAL    EXERCISES.  181 

eated  with  me  in  things  common  to  both,  in  all  the 
good  she  knew,  keeping  back  nothing  from  me  of  all 
she  possessed ;  how  often  have  I  concealed  my 
richest  treasure,  without  inviting  her  to  the  participa- 
tion !  O  the  faithless  friend !  O  the  ungrateful,  doubly 
ungrateful,  doubly  unfaithful ! 

First  to  that  gracious  God,  who  opened  my  own 
eyes,  arrested  my  attention,  stopped  up  my  path,  and 
turned  me  to  the  way  of  life  :  and  next  to  my  friend, 
whom  I  left  to  pursue  that  same  way  of  death,  with- 
out attempting  to  lead  her  to  this  same  sovereign, 
merciful,  gracious  Deliverer.  And  what  withheld  ? 
Shame  belongs  to  the  heart,  governed  by  such  motives; 
fear  of  contempt,  reproach,  or  at  most  the  loss  of  a 
carnal  friendship.  Of  three  such  friends,  now  gone 
to  their  place,  two  continued  their  worldly  course  to 
the  last,  so  far  as  I  know;  for  the  third,  the  Lord  pro- 
vided a  more  faithful  friend,  who  became  worker  to- 
gether with  the  Spirit  of  God,  led  her  to  the  friend  of 
sinners,  who  has  compassion  on  the  ignorant,  and  them 
that  arc  out  of  the  way.  By  Him  she  was  received, 
and  in  Him  she  found  life,  light,  and  peace. 

She  soon  outrun  faithless  me  in  the  heavenly  race; 
gently  chid  me  for  my  remissness,  but  continued  my 
friend  and  helper.  Ever  foremost  in  the  race,  humble 
and  steady  in  faith,  she  looked  not  back,  nor  halted. 
She  has  long  since  finished  her  course,  received  her 
crown,  and  reward  of  Grace,  and  become  fruit  to  the 
account  of  that  friend  who  supplied  what  was  want- 
ing in  me.  I  rejoice  with  them  both,  give  glory  to 
God,  front  whom  their  fruit  was  found,  and  take  shame 
and  confusion  for  my  part. 

How  many  opportunities  have  I  lost,  and  from  the 
same    sinful,    shameful    cause  !       O    my   Redeemer. 


182  L'EVOTIONAL    EXERCISE*. 

what  can  I  say  to  thee  ?    Words  are  wanting  to  ex- 
press my  loathing  of  that  vile,  selfish  cowardice. 

Didst  thou,  who  art  the  Creator  of  heaven  and  earth, 
the  brightness  of  the  glory  of  God,  the  express  image 
of  his  person,  and  upholder  of  all  things,  suffer  shame, 
contempt,  anguish,  death,  for  my  sake  ?  that  thou 
mightest  redeem  me  from  the  second  death,  and  pur- 
chase for  me  eternal  life.  And  do  I  turn  back,  shrink 
from,  and  turn  away  from  the  least  taste  of  thy  cup? 
though  the  curse  is  extracted,  and  a  blessing  infused ! 

And  after  ail  this,  art  thou  pacified  towards  me?  1 
search  in  vain  for  words  to  express  the  amazing  Grace. 
As  the  heaven  is  high  above  the  earth ;  so  great  is  his 
mercy  toward  them  that  fear  him,  and  Oh !  toward  vile 
me,  who  can  lay  small  claim  to  that  character :  yet  as- 
far  as  the  east  is  from  the  west,  so  far  has  he  removed  my 
transgressions  from  him.  Bless  the  Lord,  ye  his  angels, 
who  excel  in  strength,  that  do  his  commandments,  hearken- 
ing 'to  the  voice  of  his  word.  Bless  the  Lord,  all  ye  his 
hosts,  ye  ministers  of  his,  that  do  his  pleasure  ;  ye  minister- 
ing spirits  sent  forth  to  watch  over,' and  minister  to  them, 
who  shall  he  heirs  of  salvation ;  ye  have  witnessed  my 
ingratitude,  my  folly. 


Sabbath,  February  7... 

Dr.  R —  preached  one  half  .of  the  day  from  Acts 
xvii.  22.  Whether  he  preached  one  or  two  sermons 
on  the  same  text,  I  remember  not.  It  was  a  supple- 
ment to  a  set  of, lectures  on  God  is  a  Spirit.  John  it.  14. 

All  is  now  gone,  the  faculty  of  retention  is  gone  : 
it  is  the  Lord's  doing.  There  is  no  sin  in  this,  so  far; 
my  duty  is  resignation.  Shame  and  confusion  belong 
to  mc,  because  of  misimprovement  in  youth.     Alas ! 


DEVOTIONAL    EXERCISES. 


alas !  for  the  precious  hours  mispent,  squandered  in 
folly,  or  in  idleness.  For  the  time,  I  ought  to  have 
been  of  full  age,  whereas  I  am  but  a  babe.  Glory 
to  God  for  even  that,  and  for  the  many  pre- 
cious opportunities  of  daily  nourishment,  and  some 
measure  of  appetite :  for  conscious  life,  and  some 
growth,  though  scarcely  perceptible.  I  have  deserved 
to  be  banished  from  every  Christian  Society  and  place 
of  Gospel  worship;  to  be  left  to  stray  without  a 
shepherd  or  pasture  in  a  land  of  drought,  where 
there  is  no  water;  and  this  in  perfect  consistency 
with  the  stability  of  thy  Covenant,  for  vengeance  be- 
longeth  to  thee,  though  thou  art  a  God  that  pardoneth ; 
for,  alas  !  such  circumstances  were  of  mv  own  seeking, 
being  closely  connected  with  the  choice  I  made  of 
some  other  circumstances,  which  were  right  hands, 
and  right  eyes,  that  I  refused  to  sacrifice.  O  how 
often  wouldst  thou  have  gathered  me,  as  a  hen  gather etk 
her  chickens  under  her  wings,  but  1  would  not.  I  entered 
into  temptation,  drank  the  waters  of  Sihor,  and  the  rivers 
of  Syria,  and  forsook  the  living  fountain.  Sin,  folly, 
madness,  crowd  upon  my  remembrance,  in  that  foreign, 
barren  land ;  without  pastor  or  teacher,  or  Christian 
friend.  I  was  in  want,  but  without  appetite ;  poor  and 
needy,  but  insensible  of  it.  I  knew  that  this  was  my 
situation,  but  I  did  not  feel  it.  J  said  of  the  Lord,  he  is 
my  God,  even  then,  while  my  heart  was  far  from  him. 
I  was  at  ease,  satisfied  with  husks,  for  husks  my  pleasures 
were,  if  not  poison  to  the  Spiritual  life.  But  I  had  by 
Grace  given  at  the  time,  taken  hold  of  God's  Covenant, 
particularly  of  its  discipline.  I  did  at  times  repeat  the 
grasp,  but  held  not  fast.  My  goodness  icas  as  the 
morning  dew  which  soon  drieth  up.  and  is  gone. 


184  DEVOTIONAL    EXERCISES* 

Satan,  his  purpose  did  pursue, 
Detain'd  me  far  abroad, 

Feeding  on  husks,  although  I  knew 
My  Father's  house  and  God. 

But  Jesus,  stronger  far  than  he, 

In  his  appointed  hour, 
The  wand'rer  sought  and  set  her  free, 

By  purchase,  price,  and  power. 


April,  Sabbath. 

2cl  Peter,  chap.  ii.  1st  and  2d  verses.  Wherefore  lay* 
ing  aside  all  malice,  and  all  guile,  and  hypocrisies,  and 
envyings,  and  all  evil  speaking,  as  new-born  babes  desire 
the  sincere  milk  of  the  word,  thai  ye  may  grow  thereby. 

Blessed  Spirit !  thou  hast  convinced  me  of  the  in- 
dwelling of  every  one  of  these,  and  also  of  my  help- 
lessness of  myself  to  make  successful  war  against  them. 
But,  O  hast  thou  not  led  me  to  the  Captain  of  Salva- 
tion for  armour,  for  strength,  for  wisdom,  for  power ; 
and  is  not  my  dependence  for  success  on  thy  promise, 
that  sin  shall  not  have  dominion  over 'me  ;  thai;  thy  grace 
is  sufficient  for  me,  that  as  my  days  so  shall  my  strength 
be? 


May  5. 

Rom.  v.  1.  Therefore  being  justified  by  faith,  we  have 
peace  with  God,-  through  our  Lord  Jesus  Christ. 

Blessed !  hlessed,  blessed  doctrine  !  by  no  other 
doctrine  can  I  be  justified  and  saved.  Christ,  the  gift 
of  God,  and  faith  the  gift  of  God.  All,  all,  is  of 
grace. 

I  have  shut  my  door,  desiring  to  commune  with 
God,  but  feeling   dull    and  Kfeless,  ask  what  shall  I 


DEVOTIONAL    EXERCISES.  185 

read  ?  My  Bible  lies  just  at  hand,  where  shall  I  read  ? 
every  part  is  good.  I  open  and  find  it  marked,  Psalm 
Jxix.  13.  My  prayer  is  unto  thee,  O  Lord,  in  an  accept- 
able time,  O  God,  in  the  multitude  of  thy  mercy  hear  me 
in  the  truth  of  thy  salvation,  in  an  acceptable  time.  When  ? 
to-day,  if  ye  will  hear  his  voice.  Nevertheless,  lam  con- 
tinually ivith  thee  ;  thou  holdcst  me  by  my  right  hand,  and 
ever  vpholdcst  me,  in  the  time  of  need  especially. 
In  the  multitude  of  thy  mercy  hear  me,  in  the  truth  of  thy 
salvation.  What  is  the  truth  of  God's  salvation  ?  To 
be  the  property  of  Christ  by  purchase,  to  have  Christ 
made  our  property  by  the  Fathers  gift.  To  have  the 
Holy  Spirit  sent  into  our  hearts  to  enlighten  our  under- 
standings, to  govern  our  wills,  to  regulate  our  affec- 
tions and  tempers,  and  to  be  in  us  a  ivell  of  water 
springing  tip  into  eternal  life.  Father,  Son,  and  Holy 
Spirit,  ours  by  gift  and  by  power  !  This,  O  this,  con- 
tains all  my  asking,  for  myself,  for  my  children,  and 
children's  children,  for  my  friends,  and  all  dear  to  me. 
Take  us,  O  Lord,  and  in  the  truth  of  thy  salvation  give 
thyself  to  us  !  do  all  the  needful  for  us !  and  glorify 
thy  name. 


Sabbath. 

Luke  xiv.  1 6.  A  certain  man  made  a  great  supper, 
and  bade  many,  and  sent  his  servants  at  supper  time  to  say 
to  them  that  were  bidden,  come,  for  all  things  are  ready. 
And  they  all,  with  one  consent,  began  to  make  excuse. 

Alas !  such  are  our  hearts,  that  we  make  idols 
even  of  the  blessings  and  bounties  of  providence  :  no 
room  is  left  for  Christ,  though  without  him  every  tem- 

2  A 


186  DEVOTIONAL    EXERCISES. 

poral  good  is  under  a  curse,  and  our  own  persons  also, 
O  Lord,  bless  the  gracious  invitations  given  to  pe- 
rishing sinners  this  day  ;  the  pathetic  and  tender  re- 
monstrances of  thy  faithful  servant.  O,  may  many  of 
the  poor,  the  maimed,  the  halt,  the  blind,  from  the 
streets  and  lanes  of  the  city,  and  may  many  from  the 
highways  and  hedges,  be  compelled  to  come,  that  thy 
house  may  be  filled.  And,  O  my  gracious  Father,  let 
these  careless  ones,  who  are  my  flesh  and  blood,  be 
among  the  number  !  Hear,  O  hear,  the  prayers  offer- 
ed this  day,  for  poor  self-deluded,  self-destroying  sin- 
ners :  awaken  them,  O  Lord,  and  sweep  away  all 
lying  refuges :  and,  gracious  God,  settle  and  stablish 
these  halters  ;  O  bring  to  the  birth,  and  give  life, 
and  love,  and  zeal,  to  make  a  full  profession  to  the 
glory  of  thy  powerful  grace,  and  to  the  joy  and  con> 
fort  of  fellow  members.     Let  thy kingdom  come. 


February,  1812. 

Dr.  M — .  John  i.  Behold  the  'Lamb  of  *  God  which 
taketh  away  the  sin  of  the  world. 

He  dwelt  chiefly  on  the  substitution  of  the  victim  in 
the  room  of  the  transgressor ;  proved  from  the  Leviti- 
cal  law,  that  the  substitution  was  particular.  When  a 
victim  was  offered  for  an  individual,  he  was  to  lay-his 
hand  on  the  head  of  the  animal  (by  the  appointment  of 
God)  as  a  token  of  his  faith,  that  his  sins  should  be 
transferred  to  the  victim  which  suffered  death  in  his 
stead,  and  that,  his  sins  were  forgiven,  and  his  person 
accepted.  If  the  victim  was  for  the  whole  congrega- 
tion, then  the  elders,  as  their  representatives,  were  to 
lay  their  hands  upon  the  head  of  the  victim,  signifying 
the -same  faith.     Great  was  the  subject  of  the  plan  of 


DEVOTIONAL  EXERCISES.  187 

redemption.  The  Son  of  God  clothed  with  our  na- 
ture, given,  and  set  apart  as  a  propitiatory  sacrifice, 
the  victim  upon  whom  the  sins  of  his  elect  were  laid, 
and  he  sacrificed  in  their  stead. 

The  Lamb  of  God  which  took  away  the  sins,  not 
only  of  the  Jewish  transgressors,  but  the  sins  of  the 
elect  out  of  every  nation,  kindred  and  tongue,  through- 
out the  world.  On  this  Lamb  of  God,  rests  my  own 
individual  hope  for  pardon,  and  for  acceptance.  I  lay 
my  own  individual  hand  of  faith  on  his  dear  head,  con- 
fess my  sin,  and  rely  upon  his  sacrifice  for  pardon  and 
acceptance.,  through  the  atonement  made  by  himself. 
God's  anointed  priest. 


March,  1812.     Sabbath. 

DR.  R — .  Jer.  xxxi.  8.  And  they  shall  come  with 
weeping,  and  with  supplication  will  I  lead  them. 

Chiefly  in  the  latter  day.  But  it  is  the  Lord's  way 
of  leading  every  sinner  to  the  Saviour  with  weeping  ; 
and  through  after  life  when  reconciled,  by  supplication. 
What  testimony  does  my  heart  and  conscience  give  ? 
He  found  me  and  described  my  exercises,  about  the 
age  of  seventeen ;  with  weeping  and  supplication 
he  led  me  to  the  Saviour,  gave  me  lively  faith,  and 
much  joy,  and  peace  in  believing;  but,  alas  !  no  claim 
can  I  lay  to  the  description  of  after  life.  The  subju- 
gation of  the  will,  the  devotedness  of  the  heart,  deli- 
verance from  the  love  of  the  world,  peace  with  God, 
and  with  conscience,  delight,  calm,  serene  and  steady, 
in  communion  with  God  !  I  see  this  in  others,  a  lovely 
group  of  my  own  intimate  friends  now  surround  the 
throne,  who  answered  to  this  description,  and  some 
are  now  on  the  way.  abstracted  from  the  world,  God?s 


188 


DEVOTIONAL    EXERCISES. 


people  their  chosen  companions ;  his  ordinances,  pub- 
lic and  private,  their  delight,  they  walk  with  God. 
But,  oh,  oh,  far  different  the  race  I  ran  for  many  years  ! 
Careless  and  remiss,  the  world  again  got  hold  of  my 
heart ;  love  waxed  cold,  creatures  became  idols  ;  ear- 
ly instruction  deeply  laid  in,  and  recollection  of  former 
experiences,  dread  of  self-deception,  and  touches  of 
the  rod,  were  the  means  by  which  the  Lord  again  led 
me  with  weeping  and  supplication.  But  no  sooner  was 
pardon  manifested,  and  the  rod  removed,  than  my  vita, 
abominable,  unstable,  guilty  heart,  was  again  caught 
in  pleasure's  net,  seeking  to  reconcile  God  and  mam- 
mon, ever  forsaking  the  fountain  of  living  waters,  and 
hewing  out  broken  cisterns  ;  now  drinking  the  waters  of 
Sihor,  then  the  rivers  of  Syria.  Yet  never — amazing  ! 
O  how  amazing  f  never  altogether  forsaken !  Repent- 
ing and  sinning  ;  sinning  and  repenting,  was  my  busi- 
ness, the  Lord  God  still  manifesting  as  many  pardons, 
And 'how  js  it  now  ?  The  Lord  leads  me  asrain  with 
weeping.  He  has  pardoned  ;  he  has  freely  pardoned 
all,  and  he  has  manifested,  and  does  manifest,  that 
pardon  so  fully,  that  I  scarcely  ever  feel  a  doubt :  but 
shame  and  confusion,  self-loathing,  painful  remem- 
brance and  self-reproach,  mar  my  comfort.  I  have  com- 
munion with  God  ;  He  is  my  reconciled  Father  ;  He 
has  given  to  me  eternal  life  in  the  gift  of  his  Son.  lam 
a  saved  sinner,  by  the  amazing  plan  of  redemption., 
which  comprehends  even  me.  God's  covenant  stands 
fast;  the  covenant  which  he  gave  me  in  my  youth,  by 
which  Jesus  was  surety  to  God  for  righteousness,  and 
surety  to  me  for  covenant  grace,  the  one  only  mediator 
between  God  and  man. 


DEVOTIONAL    EXERCISES.  189 

April— Sabbath, 
Dr.  R — .  2  Timothy,  iii.  1 2.  Yea  and  all  that  wiU 
live  godly  in  Christ  Jesus,  shall  suffer  persecution.  Gone 
as  usual;  but  it  came  home  to  my  heart.  I  have  not 
suffered  persecution,  and  why  ?  because  my  life  has 
not  testified  sufficiently  against  a  sinful  world.  Alas ! 
alas  !  the  world  loves  its  own,  and  I  have  been  so  ac- 
commodating (to  say  the  least)  as  not  to  disturb  it. 
The  carnal  mind  is  enmity  against  God*  is  not  subject  to 
the  law  of  GocL  neither  indeed  can  be  ;  but  the  world 
saw  little  in  me  of  that  image  which  they  hate,  and 
enough  of  assimilation  to  balance  that  little.  O  my  God  ! 
my  long  suffering,  sin  pardoning  God  !  thou  knowest 
my  vile  cowardice  i  with  professors  a  professor  of  by 
name,  with  wordlings  a  seeming  worldling.  And 
now  the  season  is  past,  the  opportunity  lost  ;  the 
time  of  life  is  arrived,  when  the  world  itself  ex- 
pects to  be  abandoned.  No  line  of  conduct  in  me, 
will  now  reprove  them  ;  they  account  it  wise  to  look 
out  for  a  better  portion,  when  the  world  can  no  longer 
be  enjoyed  ;  and  through  the  deceitfulness  of  their  own 
hearts,  and  the  suggestions  of  the  ever  vigilant  enemy 
of  souls,  may  be  hardened  in  sin,  by  hoping  to  become 
religious  in  old  age.     Oh  !  let  thy  grace  prevent  it. 

The  sinfulness,  and  O  the  ingratitude  of  my  past 
life,  rise  in  magnitude  .every  review  I  take  of  it !  And 
what  can  I  say  ?  Father,  forgive  !  Yes,  I  dare  say, 
Father  forgive  !  I  dare  say  more ;  thou  hast  forgiven  ! 
This  grief  of  heart  proves  that  thou  hast  not  shut  me 
up.  I  am  not  sealed  up  under  impenitence.  Thou 
rememberest  thy  covenant  with  me  in  the  days  of  my 
youth,  when  thou  didst  draw  me  icithihe  cords  of  love 
tend  with  the  bands  of  a  man  ;  and  though  no  lano-Uao-e 
can  express  my  baseness  and  my  ingratitude,  through 
all  my  backsliding  life,  thy  coven?"  '  stands  fast. 


190  DEVOTIONAL    EXERCISES. 

I  remember,  and  am  confounded,  and  will  never  open  my 
mouth  any  more,  because  of  my  shame,  now  that  thou  art 
pacified  toward  me  for  all  that  I  have  done.     And  I  know, 
that  thou  art  the  Lord. 

Contrition  dwell  within  this  breast, 

That  God  within  this  heart  may  rest, 

Shame  and  confusion  flush  this  face, 

And  magnify  this  glorious  grace. 

Grace  be  my  theme  while  I  have  breath, 

And  on  my  quivering  lips  in  death. 

Angels  and  fellow-sinnew  say,  ~\ 

"Will  you  not  join  me  in  this  lay,  > 

Now,  and  through  Heaven's  eternal  day  ?     3 

Blessed  Comforter  !  thou  seest  old  age  upon  me,  loss 
oi'  memory,  and  a  desultory  mind ;  I  cannot  retain 
even  the  substance  of  my  dear  Pastor's  sermons.  I 
thank  thee  for  the  food  and  refreshment  at  the  time, 
and  often  after,  for  refreshing  meditations  on  the  same 
subjects.  I  commit  all  to  thee;  keep  them  for  me, 
and  feed  me  with  these  truths  as  thou  seest  I  need. 
O  be  to  me  memory,  judgment,  presence  of  mind  .;'  for 
order  and  regularity,  natural  powers,  are  gone.  1  re- 
joice in  my  dear  Saviour,  who  of  God  is  made  unto  me 
wisdom,  righteousness,  sanctification,  and  complete  re- 
demption. He  shall  perfect  that  which  concerneth  me, 
and  finish  the  work  he  has  begun.  Therefore  I  say. 
all  is  well. 


Sabbath,  Nov.  22. 

Dr.  R — .  Zech.  ix.  12.  Turn  ye  to  the  strong  hold ', 
ye  prisoners  of  hope,  even  to-day  do  I  declare  that  I  will 
render  double  unto  you. 

Since  our  first  parent's  transgression,  all  men  are 
prisoners  ;  every  faculty  of  their  minds  in  bondage  to 
sin,  -Satan,  and  the   world.     Prisoners  also  under  the 


DEVOTIONAL    EXERCISES.  191 

curse  of  the  broken  law,  the  penalty  of  which  hangs 
over  their  heads,  suspended  by  the  thread  of  life.  Un- 
conscious of  their  situation,  satisfied  with  their  slavery, 
though  not  happy  even  now.  Conscience  often  dis- 
turbs their  quiet,  and  creates  an  awful  foreboding. 
These  prisoners  cannot  help  themselves  ;  but  God  pro- 
claims mercy ;  help  must  come  from  him.  There  is  a 
hope  set  before  them  ;  yea,  a  strong  hold,  to  which 
they  are  called  to  flee  and  be  safe.  My  Jesus — my 
hope,  my  strong  hold,  my  safety,  my  Saviour,  my 
portion,  my  life,  my  happiness — yes,  my  happiness, 
for  safe  I  am,  and  happy,  though  sometimes  in  heavi- 
ness, for  yet  sin  dwelleth  in  me,  and  in  others,  dear  as 
my  own  soul ;  and  though  I  know  it  is  pardoned,  and 
provision  made  for  pardon  to  the  end,  yet  oh,  oh,  it 
is  bitter,  and  bitter  let  it  be  !  I  would  not  have  it  other- 
wise. Heal  my  depravity,  O  God  !  take  sin  out  of  this 
heart ;  O  fill  it  with  love  to  thee,  and  to  all  my  fellow 
sinners.  My  dear  High  Priest !  it  can  be  but  a  little 
further  to  Jordan.  My  seventy  years  are  run.  Does 
not  the  Ark  of  the  Covenant  appear  going  before  me  ; 
am  I  not  called  to  decamp  and  follow  after?  O  my 
blessed,  blessed  High  Priest !  keep  in  my  view  ;  keep 
my  eye  fixed  on  thy  person,  and  let  me  the  little  fur- 
ther, follow  thee  step  by  step,  foot  after  foot,  without 
losing  one  mark  all  the  way  to  Jordan ;  and  there  let 
me  see  thee.  Blessed  Ark  of  the  Covenant !  roll  back 
the  waters  of  terror,  stand  firm  in  Jordan,  and  bid  me 
come  unto  thee ;  and  set  up  the  stones  of  memorial 
in  a  song  of  praise  in  the  midst  of  Jordan. 

O  then  thy  glory  let  me  see, 
Then  cause  thy  face  to  shine  on  me, 
And  tune  my  heart,  and  tuDe  my  voice, 
And  language  furnish  to  rejoice, 
Tliat  all  around  may  lend  their  tongup, 
^nJ  sweetly  join  my  dying  song. 


192  DEVOTIONAL    EXERCISES. 

February  4,  1813. 

My  dear  grand  children,  J.  and  I.  B.  waited  on  their 
beloved  Pastor  Dr.  R — ,  and  professed  their  faith  in 
the  Lord  Jesus  Christ  as  the  Saviour  of  sinners,  and 
their  Saviour  :  their  desire  to  give  themselves  to  the 
Lord,  and  to  his  church,  and  to  be  in  all  things  go- 
verned by  it.  To  receive  the  seal  of  the  Covenant  of 
Grace,  commemorate  the  dying  love  of  their  Redeem- 
er the  next  opportunity,  and  swear  allegiance  to  him 
over  the  symbols  of  his  body  and  blood. 

Glory  to  God  for  this  fresh  manifestation  of  his 
mercy  and  grace  to  sinners.  Not  unto  us,  O  Lord 
God,  but  to  thy  name  be  the  glory.  Thou  hast  made 
a  Covenant  with  thy  chosen,  and  with  believers  in  him  ; 
and  thou  hast,  by  thy  Holy  Spirit,  drawn  them  to  take 
hold  of  this  thy  own  Covenant,  and  to  give  themselves 
to  thee  to  be  made  the  subjects  of  it.  And  now,  O 
Lord,  remember  thy  own  Covenant,  and  do  as  thou 
hast  said.-  Put  thy  laws  in  their  minds,  and  write  them 
in  their  hearts,  and  be  unto  them  a  God,  and  they  shall  be 
unto  thee  a  people,  be  merciful  to  their  unrighteousness,  and 
their  sins  and  their  iniquities  .remember  no  more.  Give 
them  understanding  to  know  and  believe  thy  laws,  me- 
mories to  retain  them,  hearts  to  love  them,  consciences 
to  recognise  them,  courage  to  profess,  and'  power  to 
put  in  practice.  O  grant  that  the  whole  habit  and 
frame  of  their  souls  may  be  a  table  and  transcript  of 
thv  law.  Blessed  Redeemer  !  gather  these  lambs  in 
thy  arms,  and  carry  them  in  thy  bosom.  O  seal  them 
with  the  Holy  Spirit  of  promise.  They  look  forward 
to  that  feast  of  love  which  thou  didst  institute  in  that 
same  night  in  which  thou  wast  betrayed  into  the  hands 
of  sinners.  If  it  may  please  thee,  manifest  thyself  to 
ihemas  thou  dost  not  unto  the  icorld.     Blessed  Shepherd, 


DEVOTIONAL    EXERCISES.  193 

call  these  lambs  by  name  j  may  they  know  thy  voice, 
rejoice  to  hear  it,  and  follow  thee.  In  all  the  prepara- 
tory exercises  speak  to  their  hearts,  and  commune  with 
them  in  secret.  O  give  them  some  love  tokens,  which 
they  may  never  forget ;  and  make  thyself  known  to  them 
in  the  breaking  of  bread.  Exercise  their  parents 
with  thankfulness  and  gratitude,  and  thine  aged  ser- 
vant, to  whom,  in  an  especial  manner,  belong  shame 
and  confusion  of  face,  while  she  stands  amazed  at  the 
stately  steps  of  thy  free  sovereign  mercy  and  grace  to 
her,  and  to  her  seed,  according  to  the  flesh.  Husband 
of  the  widow  I  Father  of  the  fatherless  !  Shield  of  the 
stranger  !  Glorify  thy  name,  magnify  thy  Grace :  all 
this  thou  hast  been  to  me.  Exercise  these  parents 
with  deep  humility :  if  they  have  received  Grace  to 
be  more  faithful  than  I  ;  yet  thy  holy  eye  has 
seen  much  short  coming  in  them  also.  Glory  to 
thy  name  for  the  grace  in  which  they  stand,  and 
that  thou  hast  enabled  them  to  keep  these  lambs 
out  of  the  world.  Oh !  let  this  be  a  heart-searching: 
time  with  us  all ;  humble  us,  and  exalt  thy  name,  and 
magnify  thy  Grace. 

O  Lord,  my  Covenant  God,  all  my  desire  is  before 
thee;  is  it  not  that  thou  magnify  thy  grace  in  me  and 
in  my  family  ?  There  are  others,  Lord,  and  the  resi- 
due of  the  Spirit  is  with  thee.  Put  forth  thy  power  in 
the  heart  of  I.  G.  S.  and  compel  him  to  come  in. 
And,  O  my  dear  J.  S.  and  her  family;  thou  biddcst  me 
open  my  mouth  wide.  Lord,  see,  there  is  much  for  thee 
to  do.  I  praise  thy  name  for  what  thou  hast  done, 
and  lay  me  at  thy  feet  waiting  for  further  manifesta- 
tions of  thy  mercy,  thy  sovereign  mercy :  I  have  no 
other  plea. 

2  B 


194  DEVOTIONAL   EXERCISES. 

Work  with  us  for  thy  name's  sake,  and  with  J.  M— s 
for  whom  my  worthless  prayers  have  been  presented 
to  thee,  as  also  a  member  of  this  family.  O  Lord, 
he  is  now  gone  out  into  the  world ;  he  is  no  longer 
under  the  control  of  man ;  bring  him  under  thy  gra- 
cious control;  call  him  into  thy  kingdom  of  Grace, 
and  make  him  a  willing  subject  in  the  day  of  thy 
power. 

Father,  gloriij  thy  name  f 


Greenwich,  June  11,  1813. 
In  my  large  light  closet,  within  my  airy,  comfortable 
room ;  the  prospect  from  my  windows,  such  as  I  have 
ever  delighted  in :  woods  and  water,  flower  garden, 
and  fruit  trees,  and  beautiful  shrubs  of  various  kinds, 
all  as  much  mine,  as  if  my  own  individual  property,  by 
the  laws  of  the  land  in  which  I  live :  surrounded  with 
books,  and  my  children's  rich  library,  at  my  command ; 
enjoying  rich  Gospel  ordinances,  under  a  godly  gifted 
pastor,  with  pious,  loving,  sensible  church  ^members ; 
a  carriage  to  convey  me,  Sabbath  and  Week  days,  to 
places  of  worship;  children  whose  desire  is  that  I  may 
enjoy  all  these,  to  the  full,  without  care  or  trouble, 
they  caring  for  me  :  with  all  these  a  large  measure  of 
health,  my  eyes  see  my  teachers,  my  ears  hear  their 
voice.  Why  then  these  tears  ?  Are  they  all  for  sin  ? 
Lord,  search  and  see.  Does  no  wounded  pride,  no 
selfish  hurt,  mix  ?  Ah  !  Lord,  thou  knowest.  I  have 
detected  much, -and  mourn  and  weep  on  that  account; 
but,  I  fear  there  is  yet  much  lurking  and  working  that 
I  know  not.  I  have  set  apart  the  remainder  of  this 
day,  for  fasting  and  humiliation  on  account  of  past 
sins,  which  I  already  know,  and  for  yet  further  search 


DEVOTIONAL    EXERCISES.  195 

into  what  I  know  not  of  at  present.  Lord,  give  me 
heart-searching  exercises.  Glory,  glory,  glory?  to  Fa- 
ther, Son,  and  blessed  Comforter,  that  I  am  forgiven  ; 
thy  Spirit  witnesseth  with  my  spirit  that  I  am  forgiven. 
Thou  hast  given  me  faith  in  the  truth  of  thy  testimony, 
that  the  blood  of  Christ  cleanseth  from  all  sin — that 
this  is  thy  own  provision  for  sinners — that  Christ  died 
for  the  ungodly — that  while  we  were  yet  sinners. 
Christ  died  for  us — that  Christ  hath  loved  us,  and  giv- 
en himself  for  us — that  God  so  loved  the  world  that  he 
gave  his  only  begotten  Son,  that  whosoever  believeth  on 
him  should  not  perish,  but  have  everlasting  life.  These 
last  words  came  from  thy  own  lips  of  flesh.  Thou 
Gift  of  God  to  a  perishing  world,  and  to  me,  one  of 
the  most  guilty  in  it !  Thou  also  saidst,  He  that  believ- 
cth  on  the  Son  hath  everlasting  life.  Thy  Spirit  witnesseth 
with  my  spirit,  that  to  me  it  is  given  on  the  behalf  of 
Christ  to  believe  in  him.  Phillipians  i.  29.  Therefore 
I  have  everlasting  life.  That  he  who  was  slain  and 
hanged  on  a  tree,  Him  hath  God  exalted  to  be  a  Prince 
and  a  Saviour,  for  to  give  repentance  and  remission  of 
sins :  and  from  this  exalted  Prince  I  have  repentance 
and  forgiveness  of  sin,  and  therefore  I  dare  look  at 
my  sins :  I  look  with  grief,  but  not  with  terror. 
Though  forgiven,  and  provision  made  for  forgiveness, 
it  is  still  an  evil  and  a  bitter  thing. 

This  day  is  set  apart  for  mourning.  I  desire  to 
search,  to  know  more  of  my  vileness,  that  I  may 
mourn  yet  more :  that  while  my  heart  is  wrung  for 
my  ingratitude,  the  Lord  may  make  it  the  means  of 
crucifying  my  sins,  especially  that  which  so  easily  besets 
me :  and  for  the  prayer  of  faith,  that  they  may  be 
forgiven,  and  also  that  I  may  be  delivered  from  their 
power  in  my  heart :    that  I  may  be  clothed  with  htt- 


196  DEVOTIONAL    EXERCISES. 

mili ty,  so  humble  that  nothing  can  hurt  me,  wearing 
my  Redeemer's  yoke,  leaning  upon  him  who  was  meek 
and  lowly,  that  I  may  find  rest  to  my  soul.  Now  Lord, 
exercise  me  for  the  rest  of  the  day,  and  let  to-morrow 
be  the  beginning  of  days. 


Ten  o'clock  af  night: 
The  day  is  spent,  and  I  look  for  the  blessing.  It 
has  not  been  spent  so  much  in  my  usual  way  of  retra- 
cing, confessing,  and  bewailing,  but  with  Owen  on  the 
subject  of  Pollution  and  Depravity;  of  purification 
and  the  means  appointed  by  God.  The  blood  of 
Christ  is  the  only  effectual  mean,  not  only  as  atone- 
ment for  sin,  setting  us  free  from  condemnation;  but 
also  for  cleansing ;  as  sprinkled  on  the  conscience  by 
the  Holy  Ghost,  and  purging  it  from  dead  works. 
There  are  means  in  which  we  are  to  exercise  ourselves, 
depending  on  the  Spirit  for  benefit.  We  are  to  work 
in  the  faith  that  God  works  in  us.  Mortification  is 
one  mean,  and  though  the  mortification  of  the  body  is, 
perhaps,  one  of  the  lowest,  I  think  it  is  of  divine  ap- 
pointment, therefore  not  to  be  neglected.  I  have  been 
also  studying  the  death  of.  Christ,  and  his  previous 
sufferings,  as  a  mean :  the  unbelief,  the '  opposition, 
contradiction,  contempt  and  cruel  mocking  which  he 
endured  ;  and  his  meekness,  patience,  and  submission 
under  them;  healing  Malchus's  ear,  praying  for  his  mur- 
derers :  that,  as  the  children  of  Israel  were  healed  by 
looking  to  the  brazen  serpent,  I  may  be  healed  by 
looking  unto  the  uplifted  Jesus;  the  Spirit  producing 
the  effect.  And  as  the  woman  with  the  bloody  issue 
was  healed  by  a  touch,  exercising  faith  in  the  power  of 
Christ:  so   I  may  be  healed  by  a  look,  exercising*  the 


DEVOTIONAL    EXERCISES.  197 

same  faith ;  the  Spirit  producing  the  effect  of  confor- 
mity to  his  example ;  working  in  me  that  meek  and 
lowly  Spirit  for  which  I  have  been  praying*.  And 
now  by  grace  communicated,  I  hope  to  watch  over  my 
Spirit  with  more  success  than  formerly. 
I  wait  for  thy  salvation. 


US14. 

Joel  ii.  2.  A  dai;  of  darkness  and  of  gloominess,  a 
day  of  cloud  and  of  thick  darkness,  as  the  morning  spread 
upon  the  mountains. 

Not  in  temporals,  nor  in  the  means  of  Grace  ;  every 
thing  that  earth  can  afford  is  gathered  into  my  present 
cup  :  it  is  full  and  runs  over  with  earthly  good,  and  a 
large  measure  of  health  to  enjoy  it:  moral  temporals 
are  also  mine  in  no  common  degree;  friendship,  soci- 
ety at  my  choice,^  and  respectability  in  it.  Rich  means 
of  £Tace  within  my  reach,  my  Bible,  and  books  of 
every  kind,  and  great  variety,  at  m}  hand,  of  instruc- 
and  of  devotion,  Mine  eyes  see  my  teachers, 
and  my  judgment  approves  of  their  doctrine,  as  cor- 
responding with  that  sure  word  of  testimony,  "  given 
me  as  the  test  of  all  human  writings."  Yet  it  is  a  day 
of  darkness  and  of  gloom. 

Isaiah  1.  .10.  Who  is  among  you  that  feareth  the 
Lord,  that  obeyeth  the  voice  of  his  servant,  that  ivcJkith 
arkness  and  hath  no  light?  Let  him  trust  in  the  name 
of  the  Lord,  and  stay  himself  upon  his  God. 

To  trust  in  the  name  of  the  Lord,  and  to  stay  myself 
upon  my  God,  is  still  my  privilege  ;  and  though  with 
little  life  and  little  comfort,  my  experience  :  my  mind  i^ 
so  desultory,  my  Bible,  and  helps  of  men's  deductions 
and  experiences,  seem  useless;  thev  are  not  blessed  as 


198  DEVOTIONAL    EXERCISES. 

means  to  fix  my  heart ;  trifles  of  every  sort  pass  arid 
repass  often;  while  my  eyes  read  the  words,  my  mind 
is  gone  in  a  dream  on  some  other  subject ;  my  heart 
remains  unimpressed,  my  mind  uninformed ;  the  same 
in  prayer,  especially  in  secret,  and  in  the  family :  le&s 
so  in  the  sanctuary. 

I  seem,  as  to  apprehension,  left  to  my  own  dark, 
dismal,  carnal  self;  naked  faith  on  the  finished  work 
of  my- Redeemer  is  all  that  supports  me;  and  that  as 
a  bare  preventive  of  fear,  and  source  of  a  hope  that 
/  shall  yet  praise  him  ivlio  is  the  health  of  my  countenance 
and  my  God.  I  know  his  covenant  stands  fast,  I  have 
taken  hold  of  it ;  I  do  at  this  cold  and  stupid  moment 
place  my  confidence  in  it.  Christ  is  God's  Covenant ; 
God's  gift  to  sinners  ;  1  believe  it ;  he  is  the  Lamb  of 
God  which  taketh  away  the  sin  of  the  world  ;  I  believe- 
it :  I  believe  on  the  Son  for  all  the  purposes  for  which 
God  has  sent  him  into  the  world ;  therefore  I  have 
everlasting  life  :  I  believe  the  record  that  God  gave  of 
his  Son;  that  God  hath  given  to  me  eternal  life,  and 
this  life  is  in  his  Son,  riot  in  me,  but  in  union  with  him. 
He  that  hath  the  Son  hath  life,  He  that  hath  not  the  Son 
hath  not  life.     John  v. 

I  thank  thee,  my  God,  that  thou  hast  not  left  me  to 
cast  away  my  confidence  in  Christ.  I  have-  life  in  him, 
and  no  life  but  as  I  have  it  from  him.  Thou  seest  how 
it  is  with  me  ;  thou  art  my  reconciled  Father  in  Christ, 
but  thou  hast  shut  me  out  from  thy  presence.  I  do  not 
enjoy  thee  ;  my  poor  heart  is  tossed  from  trifle  to  trifle. 
It  has  been  my  way  through  life  to  destroy  myself,  and 
thy  way  to  deliver  me.  Thou  hast  been  very  gracious 
to  me  in  my  old  age.  I  have  enjoyed  much  of  thy  pre- 
sence in  thy  sanctuary,  and  in  my  private  hours  ;  and 
although  sin  has  dwelt  and  does  dwell  in  me,  I  have  en- 


DEVOTIONAL    EXERCISES.  109 

joyed  thy  forgiving  grace,  and  have  tasted  thy  love,  far 
beyond  what  I  have  for  weeks  past.  Search  me,  O  God, 
and  know  my  heart;  try  me  and  know  my  thoughts,  and 
see  if  there  be  any  wicked  way  in  me,  and  lead  me  in  the 
way  everlasting.  Show  me  wherefore  thou  contendesi 
with  me.  Am  I  living  in  the  indulgence  of  any  known 
wilful  sin  ?  or  in  the  habitual  neglect  of  any  known 
duty?  Lord,  it  is  not  in  man  that  ivalkeih,  to  direct  his 
steps.  I  know  I  have  been  unthankful,  unwatchful, 
idle  ;  alas  !  this  is  my  ordinary,  but  it  is  not  the  ordina- 
ry of  my  Lord  God,  merciful  and  gracious,  to  mark 
iniquity  against  me,  but  to  forgive  me  daily,  to  lead 
me  to  the  blood  of  sprinkling ;  to  give  me  contrition, 
and  to  restore  me  to  his  favour  by  giving  me  joy  and 
peace  in  believing.  Help,  Lord  !  give  me  heart  search- 
ing exercises.  I  read  thy  word,  I  set  about  that  to 
which  thou  callest  me.  I  set  apart  this  day  for  fasting, 
but  the  gracious  exercises  are  not  in  me.  Come,  O 
come,  and  exercise  me !  Exalted  Prince ;  give  repent- 
ance and  remission  ;  in  thy  light  let  me  see  light. 

Joel  ii.  12.      Therefore    now  turn  ye   unto  me  with  all 
your  heart,  with  fasting,  with  weeping  and  mourning,  rend 
your  heart  and  not  your  garments,  turn  unto  the  Lord  your 
God,  for  he  is  gracious  and  merciful,  sloio  to  anger,  and 
of  great  kindness,  and  repenteth  him  of  the  evil.    O  do  I 
not  know  thee  by  this  name  ?  has  it  not  been  thy  name 
to  me    throughout  this  wide  wilderness,  pardoning  ini- 
quity, transgression   and  sin?    Thou  hast  prepared   a 
prayer  for  me — turn  me  and  I  shall  be  turned,  for  thou  art 
the   Lortl  my  God.     Jer.  xxxi.  18.     Look  to  thy   new 
Covenant  in  the  same  chapter ;  it  is  all  promise,  I  can 
do  nothing  in  it.     Christ,  by  thine  own  appointment, 
answers  for  my  part,  or  rather  I  have   no  part.     I  can 
render   nothing  to  the  Lord  for  all  his  benefits  to  me. 


200  DEVOTIONAL    EXERCISES. 

I  will  put  forth  the  withered  hand  to  take  the  cup  of  sal- 
vation, and  call  on  the  name  of  the  Lord. 

Ten  o y  Clock.  The  day  is  spent — I  have  confessed, 
and  endeavoured  to  turn -to  the  Lord  with  mourning, 
but  with  little  sensibility. 

I  attended  meeting  in  the  evening,  heard  two 
excellent  discourses  on  the  priesthood  of  Christ, 
and  joined  in  two  prayers  and  three  hymns,  with 
more  hxed  attention  than  has  been  my  attainment 
lately;  for  this,  I  thank  "thee,  my  God.  Many  have 
been  the  beginnings  of  days,  and  of  months,  which 
thou  hast  afforded  after  backsliding.  O  add  this 
to  the  number !  Psal.  ]  43.  Hear  my  prayer,  O  Lord; 
give  ear  to  my  supplication ;  in  thy  faithfulness  answer  me, 
and  in  thy  righteousness.  Enter  not  into  judgment  with 
thy  servant',  for  in  thy  sight  shall  no  flesh  Jiving  bejusii-. 
fled. 

JS'Iu  spirit  is  overwhelmed  within  me,  my  heart  within 
me  is  desolate.  I  stretch  out  my  hands  unto  thee  ;  my  soul 
thirst eth  after  thee,  in  a  thirsty  land.  Hear  me  speedily, 
O  Lord :  my  spirit  faileth  ;  hide  not  thy  faae  from  me, 
least  I  be  like  unto  those  that  go  down  into  the  pit.  Cause 
me  to  hear  thy  loving  kindness  in  the  morning,  for  in  thee 
do  I  trust :  cause  me  to  know  the  way  wherein  I  should 
v:alk,  for  I  lift  up  my  said  unto  thee.  Deliver  me,  O  Lord, 
from  mine  enemies  :  I  flee  unto  thee  to  hide  me.  Teach 
me  to  do  thy  will,  for  thou  art  my  God.  Thy  Spirit  is 
good,  lead  me  into  the  land  of  uprightness.  Quicken  mc, 
O  Lord,  for  thy  name's  sake  ;  for  thy  righteousness  sake, 
bring  my  sold  out  of  trouble.     I  wait  for  thy  salvation. 

This  heart  my  Je^us  bought  with  blood, 

It  is  his  honcstcliim  ; 
O  seize  it,  fix  it,  Saviour  God, 

To  2.ive  it  is  my  aim. 


DEVOTIONAL    EXERCISES,  201 

Take  full  posses? ion  of  this  heart, 

And  here  set  up  thy  throne, 
•Command  each  idol  to  depart, 

And  make  it  all  thine  own. 

O  dare  I  not  to  thee  appeal, 

That  'ti>  my  first  desire, 
That  on  this  heart,  thou  stamp  thy  seal. 

Arid  gray e it  with  love's  tire  ? 

To  fix  this  heart  to  stray  no  more, 

i  ev'ii  would  quit  the  clay: 
TVould  hasten  on  to  Jordan's  shore, 

And  plough  the  wat'ry  way. 

Nor  fear,  nor  dread,  my  soul  should  more, 

With  Jesus  in  my  heart, 
Each  passion  swallow'd  up  in  low, 

I'd  court  the  friendly  dart. 

The  resurrection  and  the  life, 

In  death  :t?elf  he'll  prove, 
Aud  whilst  he  closes  mortal  strife, 

Breathe  his  own  life  of  love. 

Then  boast  not,  mon'ter,  of  thy  sting, 

IVcr  of  ihy  vict'ry,  grave, 
In  th'  arms  of  God's  anointed  king1, 

I  dare  thy  fiercest  brave. 


July  17,  1814. 

Sacrament  Sabbath,  Mr.  R —  preached  from  1st 
Peter  i.  8,  9.  Whom  having  not  seen  ye  love  ;  in  ivhom^ 
though  now  ye  see  him  not,  yet  believing,  ye  rejoice  with 
joy  unspeakable  and  full  of  glory  ;  receiving  the  end  of  your 
faith,  even  the  salvation  of  your  soids. 

I  had  requested  to  be  brought  into  my  Lord's  ban- 
queting house,  and  to  be  feasted  with  love  this  day. 
I  ate  the  bread  and  drank  the  wine  in  the  faith,  that  1 
ale  the  flesh  and  drank  the  blood  of  the  Son  of  man, 
and  dwelt  in  him  and  he  in  me.  Took  a  close  view  of 
rnv  familiar  friend  Death,  accompanied  with  the  pre- 

2  C 


202  DEVOTIONAL    EXERCISES. 

sence  of  my  Saviour,  his  sensible  presence.  I  cannot 
look  at  it  without  this ;  it  is  my  only  petition  concern- 
ing it.  I  have  had  desires  and  wishes  of  certain  cir- 
cumstances, but  they  are  nearly  gone.  It  is  my  sincere 
desire  that  God  may  be  glorified,  and  he  knows  best 
how  and  by  what  circumstances.  I  retain  my  one  pe- 
tition, 

**  Only  to  me  thy  count'nance  shew, 
I  ask  no  more  the  Jordan  through,'* 


PROVISION 


FOR 

MY  LAST  JOURNEY  THROUGU  THE  WILDERNESS. 

AND 

PASSAGE  OVER  JORDAN*. 


Joshua  i.  11.  and  chapter  iii.  Prepare  you  victuals^ 
for  within  three  days  ye  shall  pass  over  this  Jordan,  to  go 
in  to  possess  the  land  which  the  Lord  your  God  giveth 
you  to  possess  it.  When  ye  see  the  Ark  of  the  Covenant 
of  the  Loid  your  God,  and  the  Priests  bearing  it,  then  ye 
shall  remove,  and  go  after  it :  that  ye  may  know  the  way 
by  which  ye  must  go,  for  ye  have  not  passed  this  way 
heretofore. 

Sanctify  yourselves,  for  to-morrow  the  Lord  will  do 
wonders  among  you. 

Behold,  the  ark  of  the  covenant  of  the  Lord  of  all  the 
earth,  passeth  over  before  you  into  Jordan :  and  it  shall 
come  to  pass,  that  as  soon  as  the  soles  of  the  feet  of  the 
priests  that  bear  the  ark  of  the  Lord — the  Lord  of  all 
the  earth,  shall  rest  in  the  waters,  that  the  waters  of  Jor- 
dan shall  be  cut  off  from  the  waters  that  come  down  from 
above  :  and  they  shall  stand  upon  an  heap. 

And  it  came  to  pass,  that  when  the  people  removed 
from  their  tents  to  pass  over  Jordan,  and  the  Priests 
bearing  the  Ark  of  the  Covenant  before  the  people,  that 
as  they  that  bare  the  Ark  were  come  into  Jordan ;  and 
the  feet  of  the  Priests  were  dipped  in  the  brim  of  the* 

•  Found  in  Mrs.  Graham's  pocket  after  her  decease, 


201  provision  for: 

water,  that  the  waters  that  came  down  from  above  stood 
and  rose  up  upon  an  heap  ;  and  the  priests  tlmt  bare  the 
ark  of  the  covenant  of  the  Lord,  stood  firm  on  dry 
ground  in  the  ?nidst  of  Jordan,  and  all  the  Israelites  pass- 
ed over  on  dry  ground. 

And  Joshua  set  up  twelve  stones  in  the  midst  of  Jor- 
dan, in  the  place  where  the  feet  of  the  priests  that  bare  the 
ark  of  the  covenant  of  the  Lord  stood,  and  they  an \  there 
unto  this  day. 

When  your  children  shall  ask  their  fathers  in  time  tv 
come,  saying,  what  mean  these  stories  ?  ye  shall  let  your 
children  know,  saying,  Israel  came  over  this  Jordan  on 
dry  land :  for  the  Lord  your  God  dried  up  the  waters 
from  before  you  until  ye  were  passed  over,  as  the  Lord 
your  God  did  to  the  Red  Sea,  which  he  dried  up  until  iv$ 
were  passed  over.  That  all  people  of  the  earth  might 
know  the  hand-  of  the  Lord,  that  it  is  mighty :  that  ye 
might  fear  the  Lord  your  God  for  ever.     Amen. 

Oh !  Thou  Jcl.io.vah !  Israel's  God,  and  by  thy  New 
Covenant,  my  God  !  Thus  far  hast  thou  brought  me 
through  the  wilderness  :  bearing,  chastising,' forgiving, 
restoring.  Well  hast  thou  made  out  thy  wilderness 
name  to  me,  The  Lord,  the  Lord  God,  merciful  and 
gracious,  long  suffering,  abundant  in  goodness  and  truth* 
keeping  mercy  for  thousands,  forgiving  iniquity,  trans- 
gression and  sin.  Great  have  been  my- provocations, 
but  greater  still  thy  Covenant  Mercy.  I  have  not  pe- 
rished with  them  that  believed  not ;  sore  bitten  I  am, 
but  thou  hast  fixed  mine  eyes  on  the  lifted  up  Healer, 
and  I  am  in  his-  hand  for  further  cure.  My  journey 
has  been  long,  and  my  way  devious;  but  my  blessed 
Joshua  is  still  in  view.  I  must  be  near  to  Jordan's 
flood  ;  I  have  been  preparing  victuals  from  thine  own 
repository  of   truth.       And  now,    my   blessed   High 


PASSING    OVER    JORDAN.  203 

Priest,  and  Ark  of  the  Covenant,  lead  on  my  stagger-" 
ing  steps  the  little  further.  I  have  not  gone  this  way 
heretofore,  but  thou  hast  measured  these  waters  while 
they  overflowed  all  their  banks.  Thou  hast  passed 
through,  and  made  the  passage  safe  for  thy  people. 
At  thy  command  the  waters  stand  up  upon  an  heap, 
and  they  pass  through  in  thy  presence  on  Faith's  firm 
ground.  Keep  then  mine  eye  upon  thfic,  and  I  shall 
fear  no  evil.  And,  oh,  my  blessed  Leader!  if  it  might 
please  thee,  I  would  ask  a  boon,  fet  with  submission, 
that  thy  sensible  presence  might  be  with  me  all  the 
way  through  ;  and  that  thou  wrouidst  bring  from  my 
quivering  lips  a  testimony  to  the  glory  of  thy  grace, 
that  my  children  may  know  that  thou  hast  pardoned, 
restored,  perfected,  dried  up  the  waters  of  terror,  car- 
ried triumphantly  through,  and  put  me  in  possession  of 
the  purchased  inheritance.     Ailgd. 

1  Timothy  i.  15.  This  is  a  faithful  saying,  and 
worthy  of  all  acceptation,  that  Christ  Jesus  came  into  the 
world  to  save  sinners,  of  whom  I  am  chief 

I  have  often  inquired,  what  is  there  within  us,  or 
without  us,  on  which  a  sinner  can  rest  in  peace  in  a 
dying  hour!  If  it  be  a  holy  life,  there  can  be  no  peace 
for  me — taking  the  lav/  of  God  for  my  standard  ;  back- 
slider is  my  name  ;  yet  I  think  in  this  sacred  volume  I 
find  a  hope  even  for  me,  the  chief  of  sinners. 

John  iii.  14.  As  Moses  lifted  up  the  serpent  in  the 
wilderness,  even  so  must  the  Son  of  man  be  lifted  up,  that 
whosoever  believeth  on  him  should  not  perish,  but  have 
eternal  life.  For  God  so  loved  the  world,  that  he 
gave  his  only  begotten  Son,  that  whosoever  believeth  OH 
him  should  not  perish,  but  have  eternal  life.  For  God 
sent  not  his  Son  into  the  world  to  condemn  the  world,  but 
that  the  world  through  him  might  be  saved*     Verse  31, 


206  -PROVISION    FOR 

He  that  cometh  from  heaven  is  above  all,  and  what  he  hath 
seen  and  heard,  that  he  testifieth.  Verse  33,  He  that  re* 
ccivelh  his  testimony,  has  set  to  his  seal,  that  God  is  true. 
Verse  35,  The  Father  loveth  the  Son,  and  hath  given  all 
things  into  his  hand :  he  that  bclieveth  on  the  Son  hath 
everlasting;  life.  Here  is  a  hope  for  me ;  the  world  is 
made  up  of  sinners,  I  am  one  of  them,  and  though 
the  chief,  am  not  excluded.  Matthew  xviii.  11.  The 
Son  of  man  came  to  save  that  which  ivas  lost,  I  am  of 
that  description.  Matthew  ix.  13.  The  Pharisees  said, 
why  cateth  your  master  with  publicans  and  sinners?  Jesus 
said,  the  ivhole  need  not  a  physician,  but  they  that  are  sick, 
I  am  a  sinner,  and  sick. — /  will  have  mercy  and  not  sa- 
crifice, for  I  am  not  come  to  call  the  righteous,  but  sinners 
to  repentance. — 1  am  a  sinner,  and  need  repentance. 
Him  hath  God  exalted  with  his  right  hand  to  be  a  Prince 
and  a  Saviour,  to  give  repentance  and  forgiveness  of  sins 
to  Israel  Acts  iii.  31.  2  Peter  hi.  9.  The  Lord  is  Ions- 
suffering-,  not  ivilling  that  any  should  perish;  but  that  all 
should  come  to  repentance. 

Christ  said  to  the  woman  of  Samaria,  a  notorious 
sinner,  John  iv.  10.  If  thou  hnewest  the  gift  of  God^ 
ami  who  it  is  that  saith  to  thee,  give  me  to  drink  ;  thou 
wouldest  have  asked  of  him,  and  he  would  have  given  thee 
living  water.  Whosoever  drinketh  of  this  'water  shall 
thirst  again ;  but  whosoever  drinketh  of  ihe  water  that  I 
shall  give  him,  shall  never  thirst,  but  the  water  that  I  shall 
give  him,  shall  be  in  him  a  well  of  water  springing  up 
into  everlasting  life.  Yes,  my  Redeemer!  a  draught  of 
this  water,  received  in  faith  from  the  hand  of  the 
Spirit,  will  give  life  in  death.  O  pour  it  into  my 
thirsty  soul,  in  that  searching  hour !  Jesus  said  to  a 
mixed  multitude  of  sinners  like  me,  John  vi.  27.  La- 
bour  not  for  the  meat  which  perishcth,  but  for  that  meat 


PASSING    OVER    JORDAN.  207 

which  endurcth  unto  everlasting  life,  ivhich  the  Son  of 
man  shall  give  unto  you  ;  for  him  hath  God  the  Father 
sealed.  These  sinners  said  unto  him,  what  shall  we  do 
that  we  might  ivork  the  works  of  God?  That  ye  believe 
on  him  whom  he  hath  sent.  J\ly  Father  giveth  you  the 
true  bread  from  heaven,  for  the  bread  of  God  is  he 
ivhich  cometh  down  from  heaven,  and  giveth  life  unto  the 
world :  I  am  the  bread  of  life,  he  that  cometh  unto  me, 
shall  never  hunger,  and  he  that  bclieveth  on  me  shall  never 
thirst.  I  am  the  living  bread  which  came  down  from 
heaven;  if  any  man  eat  of  this  bread,  he  shall  live 
for  ever.  Jlnd  the  bread  which  I  shall  give  is  my  flesh, 
which  I  will  give  for  the  life  of  the  world.  Jesus  said 
unto  them,  except  ye  eat  the  flesh,  and  drink  the  blood  of 
the  Son  of  man,  ye  have  no  life  in  you :  whoso  eateth 
my  flesh,  and  drinketh  my  blood,  dwelleth  in  me,  and  I  in 
him.  As  the  living  Father  hath  sent  me,  and  I  live  by  the 
Father :  so  he  that  eateth  me,  even  he  shall  live  by  me. 
The  Father  giveth  this  bread,  the  Son  giveth  this 
bread  ;  whosoever  will,  may  take  of  this  bread,  and  the 
promise  with  it.  Father,  I  take  this  bread,  I  take  and 
believe  that  I  have  in  thee  eternal  life,  according  to  thy 
word.  O  holy  and  blessed  Comforter  !  Spirit  of  the 
Father  and  of  the  Son,  whose  office  it  is  to  take  of  the 
things  of  Christ,  and  show  them  unto  his  redeemed  ! 
when  the  bread  and  the  water  that  perisheth,  can  no 
longer  refresh  this  dying  body  ;  apply  this  living  bread 
and  living  water  to  my  soul,  that  life  may  spring  up  in 
the  midst  of  death ;  and  in  that  trying  hour,  bear  wit- 
ness with  my  spirit  that  I  dwell  in  Christ,  and  Christ 
in  me,  and  can  never  die. 

John  vii.  37.  In  the  last  day,  that  great  day  of  the 
feast,  Jesus  stood  and  cried,  If  any  man  thirst,  let  him 
come  unto  me  and  drink  ;  he  that  believetli  on  mc,  as  (he 


208  PROVISION    FOR 

Scripture  hath  said,  out  of  his  belly  shall  flow  Titers  of 
living  wafer.  This  spake  he  of  the  Spirit,  that  they 
who  believe  on  him  should  receive.  This  he  proclaimed 
to  a  mixt  multitude  of  sinners  like  myself.  Lord,  { 
believe,  and  am  sure  that  thou  art  that  Christ,  the  Son 
of  the  living  God.  Be  it  unto  me  according  to  thy 
word.  John  xi.  25.  I  am  the  resurrection  and  the  life; 
he  that  belie  vcth  on  me,  though  he  were  dead,  yet  shall  he 
live;  and  whosoever  liveih  and  bclieveth  on  me,  shall 
never  die.  Believcst  thou" this?  I  believe  that  thou 
art  the  Christ,  the  Son  of  the  living  God,  which 
should  come  into  the  world  ;  the  promised  Messiah ; 
the  gift  of  the  Father,  the  Covenant  given  to  the 
people ;  the  anointed  Prophet  and  King,  and  conse- 
crated High  Priest ;  who  through  the  eternal  Spirit 
offered  thyself  without  spot  unto  God;  who -came. 
to  do  that  most  perfect  will  of  God,  by  which  we 
are  sanctified  through  the  offering  of  the  body  of 
Christ  once  for  all.  Lamb  of  God,  which  taketh  away 
the  sins  of  the  world  !  On  thee  I  lay  my  precious  never 
dying  soul;  wash  me  in  thy  blood,  clothe  >me  in  thy 
righteousness;  sanctify  me,  soul,  spirit,  and  body,  to 
thy  service.  I  have  no  other  foundation  of  hope,  no- 
thing within  me,  nothing  without  me;  my  entire  de- 
pendence is  on  thy  finished  work;  into  thy  hands  I 
commit  my  spirit 

Let  me  hear  thy  consoling  voice,  compassionate  Sa- 
viour !  John  xiv.  1 .  Let  not  your  heart  be  troubled;  ye 
believe  in  God,  believe  also  in  me;  in  my  Father }s  house 
are  many  mansions ;  if  it  were  not  so  1  woidd  have  told 
you ;  I  go  to  prepare  a  place  for  you,  I  will  come  again 
and  receive  you  unto  myself,  that  where  I  am,  there  ye 
may  be  also.  Oh !  seal  this  upon  my  heart,  and  it  is 
enough.      To  be  where  thou  .art.  is  heaven  enough  to 


PASSING    OVER    JORDAN,  209 

me.     To   be  where  thou  art,  to  see  thee  as  thou  art, 
and  to  be  made  like  thee,  the  last  sinful  motion  for 
ever  past:    no  more  opposition,  no  more  weariness, 
listlessness,  dryness,   deadness;   but  conformed  to  my 
blessed  Head,  every  way  capacitated  to  serve  him,  and 
to  enjoy  him.     This  is  heaven.     Jesus  said,  I  am  the 
way,  the  truth,  and  the  life  ;  no  man  cometh  to  the  Father, 
but  by  me*     Blessed  Comforter!  do  thine  office;  take 
these  things  of  Christ,  and  show  them  unto  me;  lead 
me  in  this  way,  feed  me   with  this  truth,  and  animate 
me    with    this    life:    whatsoever    ye   shall  ask   of   the 
Father,  in  my  name,  that  will  I  do,   that  the   Father 
may  be  glorified  in   the  Son.       If  ye  ask  any  thing  in 
my  name,  I  will  do  it.     Blessed  Comforter !  here  also 
do  thine  office ;  I  know  not  what  to  ask  for  as  I  ought ; 
help  mine  infirmities   as   thou   hast   said  :  suggest  the 
prayer,  be  in  me  the  spirit  of  prayer  and  supplication, 
and  especially  in  that  hour  of  need,  when  sickness 
saps  the  clay  tabernacle,  discomposing  the   spirit,  and 
confusing  perhaps  the  ideas  :  still,  still,  let  my  thoughts 
rise  to  my  God.      Oh!     let  no    unhallowed    subject 
get  hold  of  me   in  that  hour,  but  keep  my  Saviour's 
name  in  my  heart,  and  on  my  lips.     Oh !    is  not  this 
according  to  thy  will:  watch  over  it  then;  and  keep 
the  avenues  of  my   soul   from   every   vain  idea.      If 
ye  love  me,  keep  my  commandments,  and  I  will  pray  the 
Father,  and  he  shall  give  you  another  Comforter,  that  he 
may  abide  with  you  for  ever,  even  the  Spirit  of  truth  whom 
the  world  cannot  receive,  because  it  seeth  him  not,  neither 
knoweth  him  ;  but  ye  know  him,  for  he  dwclleth  with  you, 
and  shall  be  in  you.     He  that  hath  my  commandments 
and  keepeth  them,  he  it  is  that  loveth  me,  and  he  that 
loveth  me,  shall  be  loved  of  my  Father,  and  I  will  love 
him,  and  will  manifest  myself  unto  him ;   and  we  will 

2  D 


210 


PROVISION     FOK 


come,  and  make  our  abode  with  him.  The  Comfonti  \ 
which  is  the  Holy  Ghost,  whom  the  Father  will  send  in 
my  name,  he  shall  teach  you  all  things,  and  bring  all  things 
to  your  remembrance,  whatsoever  I  have  said  unto  yon. 
Peace  Heave  with  you  ;  my  peace  I  give  unto  you  ;  not  as 
the  world  giveth,  give  I  unto  you  :  1st  not  your  heart  be 
troubled,  neither  let  it  be  afraid.  In  that  last  warfare, 
when  nothing  on  earth  can  give  peace;  when  the 
world  recedes,  and  disappears;  when  friends  must 
stand  aloof,  and  leave  me"  to  the  combat  alone  :  Oh ! 
blessed  and  promised  Comforter,  bring  to  my  remem- 
brance, and  impress  on  my  weary  spirit,  these  sweet 
words  of  my  Saviour.  But  it  has  often  occurred 
to  me,  and  may  in  that  hour,  that  though  Jesus 
received  sinners;  they  were  ignorant  sinners.  The 
Jews  understood  not  the  Gospel  contained  in  their  types 
and  sacrifices;  they  were  unenlightened  and  uncon- 
verted. The  Gentiles  were  totally  blind,  serving 
dumb  idols;  neither,  had  known  the  Gospel;  never 
had  tasted  the  grace  of  God ;  neither,  were  backsli- 
ders like  me.  I  have  known  the  truth,  been  enlight- 
ened, tasted  of  the  heavenly,  gift,  been  made  a  partaker 
of  the  Holy  Ghost,  tasted  of  the  good  word  of  God, 
and  of  the  power  of  the  world  to  come. 

Fifty  years  ago,  the  Lord  convinced  me  of  my  sin, 
my  misery,  and  my  total  helplessness.  I  was  ariso* 
I  think,  enabled  to  lay  hold  on  the  hope  set  before  me. 

I  have,  in  numerous  exercises,  and  acts,  accepted  of 
God's  gift  of  Jesus  Christ  to  me,  a  condemned  sinner; 
taking  hold  o£  the  Scripture  words  of  invitation  and 
promise  held  out  for  my  acceptance.  I  have  pleaded 
his  own  Covenant  provision,  in  the  substitution  of  his 
own  Son  in  my  room  and  stead,  making  him  to  be  sin, 
tvho  knew  no  sin,  that  sinners  might  be  made  the  righteous** 


PASSING    OVER    JORDAN.  21 1 

mss  of  God  in  him.  I  put  in  my  claim  as  a  sinner, 
among  the  ungodly  for  whom  Christ  died.  I  believed 
his  testimony,  and  set  to  my  seal  that  God  is  true.  1 
rested  on  this  foundation — I  yet  have  no  other — X 
know  there  is  no  other. — The  foundation  standeth 
.sure.  But  Oh  !  what  am  I  to  think  of  the  fruits.  I 
have  again  and  again  turned  back  into  the  world : 
grieved  the  Spirit,  crucified  the  Son  of  God  afresh, 
and  put  him  to  open  shame.  No  wonder  I  stand 
alarmed  at  the  Apostle's  assertion:  my  conscience 
testifies,  that  my  character  is  nearly,  if  not  altogether, 
such  as  the  Apostle,  by  the  Holy  Spirit,  says:  it  is 
impossible  to  renew  to  repentance.  Hebrews  vi.  4,  5. 
But  thou  hast  renewed  to  repentance  !  Thy  name  is 
The  Lord,  the  Lord  God,  merciful  and  gracious,  long- 
suffering,  and  abundant  in  goodness  and  truth,  keeping 
'mercy  for  thousands,  forgiving  iniquity,  transgression, 
and  sin.  Thou  wilt  by  no  means  clear  the  guilty  ;  but  thou 
hast  provided  a  substitute,  and  laid  my  guilt,  and 
guilty  person,  on  thine  own  Son. 

By  this  gracious  name,  thou  wast  known  to  thy 
backsliding  Israel  in  the  wilderness;  whose  heart,  like 
mine,  was  not  right  with  God;  neither  were  they 
steadfast  in  his  Covenant;  but  he  being  full  of  compas- 
sion, forgave  their  iniquity,  and  destroyed  them  not. 
Many  a  time  turned  he  his  anger  away,  and  did  not 
stir  up  all  his  wrath.  They  forgot  God  their  Saviour, 
who  had  done  great  things  for  them  ;  they  transgressed 
his  commandment,  and  in  their  heart  turned  back  again 
to  Egypt;  they  broughl  upon  themselves  many  afflic- 
tions, and  many  times' did  he  deliver  them;  they  pro- 
voked him  with  their  counsel,  and  were  brought  low 
for  their  iniquity  :  nevertheless,  he  heard  their  cry,  and 
repented  according  to   the  multitude  of  hi?  merci 


212  PROVISION    FOR 

while  the  blood  of  bulls  and  of  goats  typified  the  great 
propitiatory  sacrifice,  by  which  God  can  be  just,  and 
justify  the  ungodly.  By  this  name  was  the  Lord  God 
merciful  and  gracious,  known  in  the  pleasant  land,  and 
by  the  same  sacrifice,  the  blood  of  Christ  which 
cleanseth  from  all  sin,  was  typified,  Psalms  ciii.  and  li. 
Passing  from  the  shadow  to  the  substance :  the  pro- 
phets prophesied  in  his  name.  All  tee,  like  sheep,  have 
gone  astray,  and  the  Lord  hath  laid  on  him  the  iniquity 
of  us  all.  He  was  wounded  for  our  transgressions,  and 
bruised  for  our  iniquities  ;  the  chastisement  of  our  peace 
was  laid  on  him,  and  by  his  stripes  ice  are  healed.  Deli- 
ver from  going  down  to  the  pit ;  I  have  found  a  ransom. 
By  this  name  of  Grace,  even  backsliders  were  recalled, 
among  whom,  I  stand  chief.  Jeremiah  ii.  My  peo- 
ple have  committed  two  great  evils :  they  have  forsaken 
the  fountain  of  living  icatcrs,  and  have  hewn  out  to  them- 
selves cisterns,  broken  cisterns,  that  can  hold  no  water.  Is 
Israel  a  servant ;  is  he  a  home-born  slave  ;  wherefore  is  he 
spoiled  ?  Hast  thou  not  procured  this  to  thyself,  in  that 
thou  hast  forsaken  the  Lord  thy  God,  when' he  led  thee 
by  the  way  ?  and  now  what  heist  thou  to  do  in  the  way  of 
Egypt,  to  drink  the  waters  of  Sihor  ?  what  hast  thou  to 
do  in  the  way  of  Syria,  to  drink  the  icaters  of  the  river? 
Thy  own  wickedness  shall  correct  thee,  and  thy  backslid- 
ings  shall  reprove  thee.  Know  therefore,  and  see  that  it 
is  an  evil  and  bitter  thing,  that  thou  hast  forsaken  the 
Lord  thy  God ;  and  that  my  fear  is  not  in  thee,  saith 
the  Lord  God  of  hosts.  For  of  old,  1  have  broken  thy 
yoke,  and  burst  thy  bands  :  and  thou  saidst,  I  will  not 
transgress ;  when  upon  every  high  hill,  and  under  every 
green  tree,  thou  wander  est,  playing  the  harlot.  Y,et  I  had 
planted  thee  a  noble  vine,  wholly  a  right  seed :  how  art 
thou  turned  into  the  degenerate-  plant,  of  a  strange  vine 


PASSING    OVER    JORDAN.  213 

unto  me  ?     Why  gaddest  thou  about  so  much  to  change 
thy  ivay  ?  thou  also  shall  be  ashamed  of  Egypt,  as  thou 
wast  ashamed  of  Assyria.     Have  I  been  a  barren  wilder- 
ness, or  a  land  of  darkness  unto  thee?    Wherefore  say  my 
people,  we  are  Lords,  and  will  come  no  more  unto  thee  ? 
Can  a  maid  forget  her  ornaments,  or  a  bride  her  attire  ? 
yet  my  jyeople  have  forgotten  me,  days  without  number. 
Jeremiah  iii.    They  say  if  a  man  put  away  his  wife,  and 
she  go  from  him,  and  become  another  man's,  shall  he  re- 
turn  to  her  again  ?  shall  not  that  land  be  greatly  polluted? 
But  thou  hast  played  the  harlot  with  many  lovers  ;  yet 
return  again  unto  me,  saith  the  Lord;  wilt  thou  not  from 
this  time  cry  unto  me,   my  Father,  thou  art  the  guide  of 
my  youth  ?     What  can   I  say  to   such  Grace  ?     Oh ! 
thou  infinite  in  thy  mercy  to  pardon,  and  in  thy  power 
to  save  !     Such  has  been  my  character,  and  such  the 
amazing  mercy   of  my  offended   God!     Often,   often 
has    he    pardoned,   restored,  blessed,   and    made   me 
happy.     But,  Oh !  Oh !    just  is   the  renewed  charge 
against  me.  -    For  the  house  of  Israel,  and  the  house  of 
Judah  have  dealt  very  treacherously  with  me,   saith  the 
Lord.      They  have  belied  the  Lord,  and  said,  it  is  not  he, 
neither  shall  evil  come  upon  us.  Verse  12.  Go  and  proclaim 
these  words,    and  say,  Return  thou    backsliding   Israel, 
saith  .the  Lord,  and  I  will  not  cause  mine  anger  to  fall 
upon  you  :  for  I  am  merciful,  saith  the  Lord,  I  will  not 
keep  anger  for  ever !     Only  acknowledge  thine  iniquity, 
that  thou  hast  transgressed  against  the  Lord  thy  God ; 
and  ye  have  not  obeyed  my  voice,  saith  the  Lord.      Turn, 
O    backsliding    children,   for  I  am  married   unto   you. 
What!   O  what  can  I  say  to  such  Grace.     Truly,  thy 
ways  are  not  as  our  ways,  nor  thy  thoughts  as  our  thoughts  ! 
For  as  the  heavens  arc  higher  than  the  earth,  so  are  thy 
ways  higher   than   our  ways,  and  thy  thoughts   than  our 


214 


PROVISION    FOR 


thoughts !     Oh !    how  is   my  guilt  aggravated  by  all 
this  Grace  !  and  yet  thou  callest,  Return  I    and  thou 

^elf  turnest  me :    I  do,  0  Lord  God,  merciful  and 

gracious!    I  do  acknowledge  my  iniquity;  every  time 

back  my  eyes  upon  my  past  life,  my  sins  rise 

m   magnitude,   heightened    by  more    enlarged   views 

thy  goodness.  At  every  age,  in  every  place,  in 
whatever  •situation  and  circumstances,  my  conscience 
testifies  to  this  spiritual  adultery.  Surely  as  a  wife, 
treacherously  deparlheth  from  her  husband,  so  have  ye 
dealt  treacherously  with  me,  smith  the  Lord.  I  acknow- 
ledge the  justice  of  the  charge:  and  it  is  of  the 
Lord's  mercies  that  I  am  not  consumed :  because  his 
compassions  fail  not.  A  voice  ivas  heard  upon  the 
high  places,  weeping  and  supplication  of  the  children  of 
Israel,  for  they  have  perverted  their  ways,  and  they  have 
forgotten  the  Lord  their  God.  Yes,  thou  hast*  my 
gracious  God,  granted  repentance !  Thine  eye  lias 
seen  the, tears  I  have  shed;  thou  hast  contrited  my 
heart  I  have  looked  upon  him  whom  I  have -pierced, 
and  been  in  bitterness  as  for  a  first-born'.  I  feel  it 
now,  and  must  feel  it,  while  the  body  of  sin  exists, 
.But  Oh!  Lord  God,  merciful  and  gracious!  the  cause 
is  in  thyself,  that  I  hear  thy  voice,  and  that  I  answer, 
Return,  ye  backsliding  children,  and  I  will '  heed  your 
backslidings  !  Behold,  I  come  unto  thee,  for  thou  art  1  he 
Lord  our  God!  Truly  in  vain  is  salvation  hoped  for 
from  the  hills  and  the  multitude  of  mountains.  Truly  in 
the  Lord,  God  is  the  salvation  of  Israel :  we  lie  down  in 
our  shame,  our  confusion  cover eth  us:  for  ivc  have  sinned 
against  the  Lord  our  God;  we  and  our  fathers,  even 
from  our  youth;  and  have  not  obeyed  the  voice, of  the 
Lord  God.  Thus  saith  the  Lord  God,  I  will  even  deal 
with  thee  as  thou  hast  done,  who  hast  despised  ilm  oath  ■ 


PASSING    OVER    JORDAN1.  213 

breaking  the  Covenant.  Nevertheless,  I  icill  remember 
my  Covenant  with  thee  in  the  days  of  thy  youth  ;  and  I 
will  establish  unto  thee  an  everlasting  Covenant,  and  thou 
shalt  know  that  I  am  the  Lord.  That  thou  mayest  re- 
member  and  be  confounded,  and  never  open  thy  mouth  any 
more  because  of  thy  shame,  when  1  am  pacified  towards 
thee,  saith  the  Lord  God.  Amen,  Lord  God,  merciful 
and  gracious  !  Be  it  so.™ -It  is  so  noic,- — it  must,  it 
will  be  so,  until  death  shall  open  mine  eyes  on  that 
mystery.  The  glory  of  God  arising  out  of  the 
abounding  of  sin,  through  the  super-abounding  of 
Grace,  and  Grace  reigning  through  righteousness  unto 
eternal  life,  by  Jesus  Christ  our  Lord !  Till  then, 
while  sin  dwelleth  in  me,  let  me  enjoy  the  blessedness 
of  a  contrite  heart;  yea,  even  shame  and  confusion, 
since  it  is  the  sign,  that  thou  art  pacified  with  me. 
Thou  hast  dealt  with  me,  thou  hast  chastened,  and 
in  some  instances,  taken  vengeance  on  my  inventions. 
But  thou  art  pacified  with  me,  and  I  dare  look  again 
to  thy  holy  temple ;  to  the  temple  not  made  with 
hands;  to  the  minister  of  the  sanctuary,  and  the  true 
tabernacle  which  the  Lord  pitched,  and  not  man  ;  to  the 
blessed  High  Priest,  who,  through  the  eternal  Spirit 
offered  himself  a  sacrifice  without  spot  unto  God,  and  by 
his  own  blood,  entered  in  once  into  the  holy  pjlacc,  having 
obtained  eternal  redemption  for  us,  and  when  he  had 
purged  our  sins,  sett  down  on  the  right  hand  of  the  Ma- 
jesty on  high.  To  the  blessed  Mediator  of  the  new  and 
better  Covenant,  cstablislieel  on  better  promises  :  to  the 
surety  of  the  JYew-Tcstament  and  scaled  ivith  his  own 
blood.  O  I  will  look  unto  Jesus!  the  Object,  the 
Author,  and  the  Finisher  of  that  faith  which  interests 
in  himself  and  the  whole  of  his  pm-chasc !  He  bids 
me  look  unto  bim  and  be  saved  !     I  do  look  unto  hi.au 


210  PROVISION    FOR 

and  I  am  saved  !  who  dares  condemn  the  sinner  whom 
Christ  acquits  ?  who  shall  lay  any  thing  to  his  charge  ? 
It  is  Christ  that  died;  yea,  rather  who  is  risen  again; 
who  is  even  at  the  right  hand  of  God ;  tvho  also  makelh 
intercession  for  her  !  !  ! 


Isaiah  xliv.  22.     Return  unto  me,  &c. 

(A  Scripture  paraphrase  by  D.  B — .) 

Return  to  thee,  my  God !  dost  thou 
The  invitation  yet  renew? 
Return  to  thee  !  my  chiefest  joy, 
Till  sin  did  all  my  peace  destroy ! 

And  yet,  to  hear  thy  pardoning  voice 
Must  make  my  trembling  heart  rejoice; 
Though  sin  is  there,  thou  well  dost  know 
It  is  my  burthen  and  my  foe. 

0  let  me  hear  those  gracious  words! 
Be  still  my  soul,  they  are  the  Lord's  ; 
That  God,  who  once  on  thee  did  shine* 
And  fill'd  thee  with  a  hope  divine. 

"  Thy  black  transgressions,  trembling  soul. 
Thy  sin  so  heinous  and  so  foul, 
Which  like  a  cloud  obscure  thy  day, 
I've  blotted  out,  I've  wash'd  away. 

Return  to  me,  thou'rt  mine  ;  I  own 
Thee  for  my  servant,  and  my  son ; 

1  have  redeem'd  thy  precious  soul : 
And  none  my  purchase  shall  control." 

I  hear,  I  come,  my  Cov'nant  God  I 
Thy  love's  my  life,  my  raiment,  food ; 
Thy  favour,  thro'  my  Jesus  given, 
Ts  to  my  soul,  the  bliss  of  heaven. 


PASSING    OVER    JORDAN. 

I  come,  my  Jesus  !  hold  me  fast, 
'Till  life  and  Jordan's  journey  past; 
My  faith  to  vision  yield  her  place, 
And  I  shall  see  thy  unveil'd  face. 

Then,  with  the  loudest  of  the  throng, 
Of  sins  lorgiv'n  I'll  raise  the  song; 
Of  pardon  bought  with  Je.-us'  blood, 
Sinners  made  Kings  and  Priests  to  God. 


Psalm  ciii.     Fifty  years  ago. 
"  Oh !  thou,  my  soul,  bless  God  the  Lord, 

"  And  all  that  in  me  is; 
"  Be  stirred  up  his  holy  name, 

"  To  magnify  and  oless." 

Bless,  O  my  soul,  the  Lord  thy  God, 

And  not  forgetful  be, 
Of  all  his  gracious  benefits, 

He  hath  bestow'd  on  thee. 

All  thine  iniquities,  who  doth 

Most  graciously  forgive  ; 
Who  thy  diseases  all,  and  pains, 

Doth  heal,  and  thee  relieve. 

Who  doth  redeem  thy  life,  that  thou 
To  death  may'st  not  go  down; 

Who  thee  with  loving  kindness  doth 
And  tender  mercies  crown. 

Who,  with  abundance  of  good  things, 

Doth  satisfy  thy  mouth  : 
So,  that  even  as  the  eagle's  age 

Renewed  is  thy  youth. 

God,  righteous  judgments  executes 

For  all  oppressed  ones; 
His  way  to  Moses,  he  his  acts 

Made  known  to  Israel's  sons, 

2E 


217 


218  PROVISION    FOE 

The  Lord  our  God  is  merciful, 

And  he  is  gracious; 
Long-suffering,  and  slow  to  wrath  r 

In  mercy  plenteous. 

He  will  not  chide  continually; 

Nor  keep  his  anger  still; 
With  us  he  dealt  not  as  we  sinn'd, 

Nor  did  requite  our  ill. 

For  as  the  heaven  in  its  height 
The  earth  surmounted  far: 

So  great,  to  those  that  do  him  fear. 
His  tender  mercies  are. 

As  far  as  east  is  distant  from 
The  west:  so  far  hath  he 

From  us  removed  in  his  love 
All  our  iniquity. 

Such  pity  as  a  father  hath 
Unto  his  children  dear, 
,     Like  pity  shows  the  Lord  to  such 
As  worship  him  in  fear. 

For  he  remembers  we  are  dust,     , 
And  he  our  frame  well  knows  : 

Frail  man  !  his  days  are  like  the  grass, 
As  flow'r  in  field  he  grows. 

For  over  it  the  wind  doth  pass, 

And  it  away  is  gone ; 
And,  of  the  place  where  once  it  was,    - 

It  shall  no  more  be  known. 

But,  unto  them  that  do  him  fear, 

God's  mercy  never  ends ; 
And,  to  his  children's  children,  still 

His  righteousness  extends. 

To  such  as  keep  his  Covenant, 

And  mindful  are  a!  way 
Of  his  most  just  comrnandeaients, 

That  they  may  them  obey. 


PASSING    OVER   JORDAN.  219 


The  Lord  prepared  hath  his  throne 
In  heaven  firm  to  stand  ; 

And  ev'ry  thing  that  being  hath, 
His  kingdom  doth  command. 

O  ye  his  angels  that  excel 

In  strength,  bless  ye  the  Lord, 

Ye  who  obey  what  he  commands, 
And  hearken  to  his  word. 

O  bless  and  magnify  the  Lord, 
Ye  glorious  hosts  of  his  : 

Ye  ministers,  that  do  fulfil 
Whate'er  his  pleasure  is. 

O  bless  the  Lord,  all  ye  his  works 
Wherewith  the  world  is  stored  ; 

In  his  dominions  every  where, 
My  soul,  bless  thou  the  Lord. 


John  xiv.  /  will  not  leave  you  comfortless ;  I  will 
come  unto  you  ;  yet  a  little  while  and  the  world  seeth  me  no 
more ;  but  ye  see  me :  because  I  live,  ye  shall  live  also. 
At  tliat  day  ye  shall  know,  that  I  am  in  the  Father,  and 
you  in  me,  and  I  in  you  !  !  !  Believcst  thou  not  that  I  am 
in  the  Father  and  the  Father  in  me  ?  He  that  hath  seen 
me,  hath  seen  the  Father.  How  be  it,  ivhen  the  Spirit  of 
truth  is  come,  he  will  guide  you  into  all- truth.  He  shall 
glorify  me,  for  he  shall  receive  of  mine,  and  shall  shew 
it  unto  you.  M  things  that  the  Father  hath  are  mine ; 
therefore  said  I,  he  shall  take  of  mine,  and  shall  shew  it 
unto  you.  John  xvii.  Neither  pray  I  for  these  alone, 
but  for  them  also,  which  shall  believe  on  me  through  their 
word :  that  they  all  may  be  one,  as  thou,  Father,  art  in 
me  and  I  in  thee,  that  they  may  be  one  in  us :  that  the 
world  may  believe  that  theni  hast  sent  me  ;  and  the  glory 


220  PROVISION    FOR 

ivhich  thou  gavest  me,  I  have  given  them,  that  they  may 
be  one,  even  as  we  are  one.  I  in  them  and  thou  in  me, 
that  they  may  be  made  perfect  in  one  :  that  the  world  may 
know  that  thou  hast  sent  me  ;  and  hast  loved  them,  as  thou 
hast  loved  me.  Father,  I  will,  that  they  also  whom  thou 
hast  given  me,  be  with  me  where  1  am,  that  they  may 
behold  my  glory,  which  thou  hast  given  me :  for  thou 
lovedst  me  before  the  foundation  of  the  world.  1  Cor. 
iii.  22.  Jill  are  yours,  and  ye  are  Chrisfs,  and  Christ  is 
God's.  Col.  iii.  3.  Ye  are  dead,  and  your  life  is  hid 
with  Christ  in  God.  When  Christ  who  is  our  life  shall 
appear,  then  shall  we  appear  with  him  in  glory.  Col.  ii. 
9.  For  in  him  dwclleih  all  the  fuhiess  of  the  Godhead 
bodily,  and  ye  are  complete  in  him,  who  is  the  head  of 
all  principality  and  power.  Eph.  iv.  4.  There  is  one 
body,  and  one  spirit,  even  as  ye  are  called  in  one  hope  of 
your  calling :  one  Lord,  one  faith,  one  baptism,  one  God 
and  Father  of  all,  who  is  above  all,  and  through  all,  and 
in  yoii  all:,  and  unto  every  one  of  us  is  given  grace,  ac- 
cording to  the  measure  of  the  gift  of  Christ. 

Gal.  ii.  20.  /  am  crucified  with  Christ:  nevertheless, 
I  live ;  yet  not  I,  but  Christ  liveth  in  me ;  and  the  life 
which  I  now  live  in  the  flesh,  I  live  by  the  faith  of  the 
Son  of  God,  who  loved  me,  and  gave  himself  for  me. 

John  i.  20.  Behold  the  Lamb  of  God,  which  takcth 
away  the  sins  of  the  iv  or  Id.  Jlnd  looking  .upon  Jesus. as 
he  walked,  John  saith,  Behold  the  Lamb  of  God. 

1  Cor.  iii.  21.'     Therefore,  let  no  man  glory  in  man, 

for  all  things  are  yours :  whether  Paid,  or  Apollos,  or 

Cephas,  or  the  world,  or  life,  or  death,  or  things  pjrcsent9 

or  tilings  to  come :  cdl  are  yours,  and  ye  are  Chrisfs,  and 

Christ  is  God's! ! ! 

Lam.  iii.  27.  It  is  good  for  a  man  that  he  bear  the 
■yoke- in   his  youth:  lie  sitteth  alone  and  1c cepeth  silence  ; 


PASSING    OVER   JORDAN.  221 

he  putteth  his  mouth  in  the  dust,  if  so  be  there  may  be 
hope ;  he giveth  his  cheek  to  them  that  smiteth  him;  he  is 
filled  with  reproach. 

Ezek.  xvi.  63.  That  thou  mayst  remember,  and  be 
confounded,  and  never  open  thy  mouth  any  more,  because 
of  thy  shame,  when  I  am  pacified  toward  thee  for  all  that 
thou  hast  done,  saith  the  Lord.     Amen. 

Joel  ii.  2.  A  day  of  darkness  and  of  gloominess,  a 
day  of  clouds  and  of  thick  darkness,  as  the  morning 
spread  upon  the  mountains.  Therefore,  also  now,  saith 
the  Lord,  turn  ye  unto  me  with  all  your  heart,  with  fast- 
ing,  with  weeping,  and  with  mourning.  Rend  your  heart 
and  not  your  garments,  and  turn  unto  the  Lord  your  God: 
for  he  is  gracious  and  merciful,  slow  to  anger,  and  of 
great  kindness,  and  repenteth  him  of  the  evil. 

Ho  sea  ii.  /  will  visit  upon  her  the  days  of  Baalim : 
she  went  after  her  lovers,  and  forgat  me,  saith  the  Lord. 
I  will  allure  her,  and  bring  her  into  the  wilderness,  and 
speak  comfortably  nnto  her.  And  I  will  betroth  thee  unto 
me  for  ever :  yea,  I  will  betroth  thee  unto  me  in  right- 
eousness, and  in  judgment,  and  in  loving  kindness,  and  in 
mercies.  I  will  even  betroth  thee  unto  me  in  faithfulness  : 
and  thou  shall  know  the  Lord. 

Hosea  xiii.  O  Israel,  thou  hast  destroyed  thyself,  but 
in  me  is  thine  help.  Chapter  xiv.  Return  unto  the  Lord 
thy  God,  for  thou  hast  fallen  by  thy  iniquities.  Take  with 
you  words,  and  return  to  the  Lord;  say  unto  him,  take 
away  all  ini unity,  and  receive  us  graciously :  so  will  we 
render  the  calves  of  our  lips.  Ashur  shall  not  save  us,  ivc 
will  not  ride  upon  horses,  neither  will  we  say  any  more  to 
the  works  of  our  hands,  ye  are  our  Gods :  for  in  thee 
the  fatherless  findcth  mercy. 

I  will  heal  their  backsliding;  I  will  love  them  freely. 
for  mine  anger  is  turned  away  from  him.     I  will  be  as 


222  PROVISION    FOR 

the  dew  unto  Israel;  he  shall  grow  as  the  lily,  and  cast 
forth  his  roots  as  Lebanon.  Ephraim  shall  say,  what 
have  I  to  do  any  more  with  idols  ?  I  have  heard  him,  and 
observed  him.  I  am  like  a  green  fir-tree,  from  me  is  thy 
fruit  found. 

Daniel  ix.  O  Lord,  to  us  belongeth  confusion  of  face, 
because  toe  have  sinned  against  thee.  To  the  Lord  our 
God  belong  mercies  and  forgiveness,  though  we  have  re- 
belled against  him. 

Isaiah  xl.  11.  He  shall  feed  his  flock,  like  a  shepherd, 
he  shall  gather  the  lambs  in  his  arms,  and  carry  them  in 
his  bosom  ;  and  shall  gently  lead  those  that  are  with  young. 
Why  sayest  thou,  O  Jacob,  and  speakest,  O  Israel;  my 
way  is  hid  from  the  Lord,  and  my  judgment  passed  over 
from  my  God.  Hast  thou  not  known,  hast  thou  not  heard, 
that  the  everlasting  God  faint eth  not,  neither  is  weary ; 
there  is  no  searching  of  his  understanding.  He  giveth 
power  to  the  faint ;  and  to  him  that  hath  no  might,  he 
increaseth-  strength.  Even  the  youths  shall  faint  and  be 
weary,  and  the  young  men  shall  utterly  fall :  but  they  that 
wait  on  the  Lord  shall  renew  their'  strength  $  they  shall 
mount  up  with  wings  as  eagles  ;  they  shall  run  and  not  be 
weary  ;  they  shall  walk  and  not  faint. 

Isaiah  xlii.  24.  Who  gave  Jacob  for  a  spoil,  and 
Israel  to  the  robbers :  did  not  the  Lord?  he,  against 
whom  we  have  sinned.  For  they  would  not  walk  in  his  way, 
neither  were  they  obedient  to  his  law :  therefore,  he  hath 
poured  upon  him  the  fury  of  his  anger  ;  and  the  strength 
of  battle  ;  and  it  hath  set  him  on  fire  round  about,  and  he 
knew  it  not,  and  it  burned  him,  yet  he  laid  it  not  to  heart. 
But  now,  thus  saith  the  Lord,  thai  created  thee,  O  Jacob, 
and  that  formed  thee,  O  Israel,  fear  not,  for  I  have  re- 
deemed thee,  I  have  called  thee  by  thy  name,  thou  art  mine. 
When  thou  pass  est  through  the  waters,  I  will  be  with  thee  ; 


PASSING    OVER    JORDAN.  223 

and  through  the  rivers  they  shall  not  overflow  thee.  When 
thou  icalkest  through  the  fire  thou  shalt  not  be  burnt,  nei- 
ther shall  the  flame  kindle  upon  thee.  For  I  am  the  Lord 
thy  God,  the  holy  one  of  Israel,  thy  Saviour.  Since  thou 
wast  precious  in  my  sight,  thou  hast  been  honourable  ;  and 
I  have  loved  thee.  Yes,  my  God !  I  remember  and  am 
confounded !  amazed  at  my  ingratitude,  amazed  at 
thy  Grace !  I  am  thy  witness,  just  so  has  been  thy 
way  with  me.  What  can  I  say?  Thou  hast  wrought 
wTith  me  for  thy  name's  sake.     I  am  dumb  before  thee, 

0  I  am  vile — and  yet  I  am  thine  !  Thou  hast  redeem- 
ed me  !  it  is  thy  good  pleasure  to  save  me.  Glorify 
thy  name.  /  have  blotted  out  as  a  thick  cloud  thy  trans- 
gressions, and  as  a  cloud  thy  sins.     Return  unto  me,  for 

1  have  redeemed  thee.  Sing,  O  ye  heavens,  for  the  Lord 
hath  done  it.  Shout,  ye  lower  parts  of  the  earth.  Break 
forth  into  singing,  ye  mountains :  O  forest,  and  every 
green  tree  therein,  for  the  Lord  hath  redeemed  Jacvb,  and 
glorified  himself  in  Israel. 

For  if  by  one  man's  offence,  death  reigned  by  one  ; 
much  more  they  which  receive  abundance  of  grace,  and  of 
the  gift  of  righteousness,  shall  reign  in  life  by  one,  Christ 
Jesus.  Where  sin  abounded,  grace  did  much  more  abound : 
that  as  sin  has  reigned  unto  death,  so  might  Grace  reign 
through  righteousness  unto  eternal  life,  by  Jesus  Christ 
our  Lord. 

Isaiah  xlv.  22.  Look  unto  me  and  be. ye  saved,  all  the 
ends  of  the  earth,  for  I  am  God,  and  there  is  none  else. 
I  have  sworn  by  myself,  the  word  is  gone  out  of  my  mouth 
in  righteousness,  and  shall  not  return  :  that  unto  me  every 
knee  shall  bow,  and  every  tongue  shall  swear.  Surely 
shall  one  say,  in  the  Lord  have  I  righteousness  and 
strength :  even  to  him  shall  men  come,  and  all  that  arc 
incensed  against  him  shall  be  ashamed.     In  the  Lord  shall 


224  PROVISION    FOR 

all  the  house  of  Israel  be  justified,  and  shall  glory* 
Chapter  xlvi.  3.  Hearken  unto  me,  O  house  of  Jacob, 
and  all  the  remnant  of  the  house  of  Israel:  Even  to  your 
old  age,  I  am  he  ;  and  even  to  hoar  hairs  will  I  carry  you. 
I  have  made,  and  I  will  bear,  even  I  will  carry,  and  I  ivill 
deliver  you. 

Ezek.  xxxiv.  1 1 .  Thus  saith  the  Lord  God,  1,  even  I, 
will  both  search  my  sheep,  and  seek  them  out.  .As  a 
shepherd  sceketh  out  his  flock  in  the  day  that  he  is  among 
his  sheep  that  are  scattered :  so  will  I  seek  out  my  sheep, 
and  will  deliver  them  out  of  cdl  places  where  they  have 
been  scattered  in  the  cloudy  and  dark  day.  And  1  will 
bring  them  out  from  the  people^  and  gather  them  to  their 
own  land,  and  feed  them  upon  the  mountains  of  Israel,  by 
the  rivers,  and  in  all  the  inhabited  places  of  the  country. 
And  I  ivill  feed  them  in  a  good  pasture,  and  upon  the  high 
mountains  of  Israel  shall  their  fold  be :  there  shall  they 
lie  in  a  good  fold,  and  in  a  fat  pasture  shall  they  feed 
upon  the  mountains  of  Israel.  I  will  feed  my  flock,  and 
I  will  cause  them  to  lie  down,  saith  the  Lord  God.  I 
will  seek  that  which  was  lost,  and  bring  again  that  which 
was  driven  away  ;  and  will  bind  up  that  which  was  broken, 
and  will  strengthen  that  which  was  sick.  He  hath  done 
it,  I  am  his  witness :  I,  the  poor  wanderer,  the  happy 
subject  of  this  Grace.  And  I  will  raise  up  for  them  a. 
plant  of  renown,  (my  Jesus,)  and  they'  shall  be  no  more 
consumed  with  hunger  in  the  land  ;  neither  bear  the  shame 
of  the  heathen  any  more.  Thus  shall  they  know,  that  I, 
the  Lord  their  God,  am  with  them  ■;  and  that  they,  even  the 
house^of  Israel,  are  my  people,  saith  the  Lord  God,  and 
ye  my  flock,  the  flock  of  my  pasture,  are  men :  and  I  am 
your  God,  saith  the  Lord  God.  As  the  mountains  are 
round  about  Jerusalem,  so  the  Lord  is  round  about  fus 
people,  from  henceforth  and  for  ever,  Psalm  cxxy. 


PASSING    OYER    JORDAN.  223f 

Ezek.  xxxvi.  When  the  house  of  Israel  divelt  in 
their  oivn  land,  they  defiled  it  by  their  oxen  way,  and  by 
their  doings.  And  I  scattered  them  among  the  heathen, 
and  they  were  dispersed  through  the  countries  ;  according 
to  their  ways,  and  according  to  their  doings,  I  judged 
them.  And  when  they  entered  unto  the  heathen,  whither 
they  went,  they  profaned  my  holy  name,  when  they  said 
to  them,  these  are  the  people  of  the  Lord,  and  are  gone 
forth  out  of  his  land.  But  I  had  pity  for  my  holy  name, 
which  the  house  of  Israel  had  profaned  among  the  hea- 
then whither  they  went.  Therefore,  say  unto  the  house 
of  Israel,  thus  saith  the  Lord  God,  I  do  not  this  for  your 
sakes,  Q  house  of  Israel,  but  for  mine  holy  nameys  sake, 
which  ye  have  profaned  among  the  heathen,  ivhither  ye 
went.  And  I  will  sanctify  my  great  name  which  ivas 
profaned  among  the  heathen,  which  ye  had  profaned  in 
the  midst  of  them.  And  the  heathen  shall  know  that  I  am 
the  Lord,  saith  the  Lord  God,  when  I  shall  be  sanctified' 
in  you  before  their  eyes.  For  I  ivill  fake  you  from  among 
the  heathen,  and  gather  you  out  of  all  countries,  and  will 
bring  you  into  your  own  land.  Then  ivill  I  sprinkle  clean 
water  upon  you,  and  ye  shall  be  clean  from  all  your  flfthi- 
ness,  etnd  from  all  your  idols  will  I  cleanse  you.  A  new 
heart  also  will  I  give  you,  and  a  new  spirit  will  I  put 
tvithin  you;  and  I  will  take  away  the  stony  heart  out  of 
your  flesh,  and  I  wiU  give  you  an  heart  of  flesh.  And  I 
will  put  my  Spirit  within  you,  and  eauseyau  to  walk  in  ray 
statutes,  and  ye  shall  keep  my  judgments  and  da  them, 
I  ivill  also  save  ym  from  edl  your  wicleannesses,  and  I  will 
call  for  the  corn,  and  will  increase  it,  and  lay  no  famine 
upon  you  ;  and  I  wilt  multiply  the  fruit  of  the  tree*  and 
the  increase  of  the  field*  that  ye  shall  receive  no  more  re- 
proach of  famine  among  the  heathen.  Then  shall  ye  re- 
member  your  oivn  evil  ways,  and  your  doings,  which  ««*■ 


226  PROVISION    FOR 

not  good ;  and  shall  loathe  yourselves  in  your  own  sight, 
for  your  iniquities,  and  for  your  abominations.  Not  for 
your  sakes  do  I  this,  saith  the  Lord  God :  be  it  known 
unto  you.  Be  ashamed  and  confounded  for  your  own 
ways,  O  house  of  Israel 


Ezekiel  xvi.  63.  and  xxxvi.  32. 

(A  Scripture  paraphrase,  by  D.  B— .) 

Not  for  ycur  sakes  ;  for  bom  unclean? 
The  slaves  of  Satan  and  of  sin : 
I  saw  no  comeliness  in  you, 
To  bid  my  Grace  such  wonders  do. 

Not  for  your  sakes  ;  for  when  my  love 
And  grace  should  your  affections  move, 
The  workings  of  an  evil  heart,  , 
Still  makes  you  from  my  truth  depart. 

Not  for  your  sokes  ;  for-bold  and  blind, 
To  lust  and  avarice  inclin'd  ; 
Each  shadowy  idol  you  obey, 
Disowning  my  paternal  sway. 

Not  for  your  sakes  ;  witli  heav'n  in  view, 
For  sin  you  sell  your  souls  anew  ; 
You  barter  for  a  gilded  bait, 
The  joys  of  an  eternal  state. 

Not  for  ycur  sakes  ;  for  though  you  ey'd 
The  cross  of  Christ,  on  which  he  died  ; 
You  scorn  his  love  for  worldly  ends, 
^And  wound  him  in  the  house  of  friends. 

Not  for  your  sakes  ;  with  Jesus1  name, 
You  put  him  to  an  open  shame  ; 
And  by  your  sins,  consent  again 
To  have  the  dear  Redeemer  slain. 


PASSING    OVER    JORDAN.  £27 

Not  for  your  sakes  :  'tis  my  free  grace 
That  grants  you  pardon,  life,  and  peace ; 
And  works  a  change  on  all  your  frame, 
And  binds  you  to  adore  my  name. 

Not  for  my  sake  !— I  bail  the  sound  ! 
Let  pow'r  of  grace  my  pride  confound ; 
Salvation  is  a  work  divine ; 
Confusion,  and  the  shame,  be  mine. 

Not  for  my  sake  ! — did  1  but  trust 
To  weakness,  vanity,  and  dust; 
I  ne'er  could  reach  the  heav'nly  prize, 
Nor  hope  a  mansion  in  the  skies. 

Not  for  my  sake  ! — yet  save  and  call ; 

Let  Jesus  be  my  all  in  all : 

When  glory  comes,  I'll  self  disown, 

And  Grace,  free  Grace,  shall  wear  the  crown. 


Psalm  civ.  Praise  ye  the  Lord,  O  give  thanks  unto  the 
Lord  for  he  is  good,  for  his  mercy  eudureih  for  ever. 

Psalm  cvi.  Remember  me,  O  Lord,  with  the  favour 
that  thou  bearest  unto  thy  people  ;  O  visit  me  with  thy  sal- 
vation :  that  I  may  see  the  good  of  thy  chosen ;  that  I 
may  rejoice  in  the  gladness  of  thy  nation ;  that  I  may 
glory  with  thine  inheritance. 

Eph.  ii.  Jt  that  time,  ye  were  without  Christ,  being 
aliens  from  the  commonwealth  of  Israel,  and  strangers  to 
the  Covenant  of  promise ;  having  no  hope,  and  without 
God  in  the  world :  but  noio  in  Christ  Jesus,  ye  who  some- 
time were  afar  off,  are  made  nigh  by  the  blood  of  his  cross. 

Psalm  x.  17.  Lord,  thou  hast  heard  the  desire  of  the 
humble;  thou  wilt  prepare  their  heart;  thou  wilt  cause 
thine  car  to  hear  ;  to  judge  the  fatherless  and  the  oppressed, 
that  the  men  of  the  earth  may  no  more  oppress. 


225  PROVISION    FOR 

Deut.  viii.  Thou  shalt  remember  all  the  way  that  the 
Lord  thy  God  led  thee  this  forty  years  in  the  wilderness^ 
to  humble  thee,  to  prove  thee,  to  know  what  was  in  thy 
heart :  whether  thou  wouldest  keep  my  commandments  or 
no.  Jlnd  he  humbled  thee,  and  suffered  thee  to  hunger*, 
and  fed  thee  with  manna  ivhich  thou  knewest  not,  neither 
did  your  fathers  know,  that  he  might  make  thee  know 
that  man  doth  not  live  by  bread  alone,  but  by  every  word 
that  proceedeth  out  of  the  mouth  of  the  Lord,  doth  man 
live — Thy  raiment  icaxed'not  old  upon  thee,  neither  did 
thy  foot  swell  these  forty  years. 

Thou  shalt  also  consider  in  thine  heart,  thai  as  a  man 
chasteneth  his  son,  so  the  Lord  thy  God  chasteneih  thee. 
Therefore  thou  shalt  keep  the  commandments  of  the  Lord 
thy  Cod,  to  walk  in  his  ways  and  to  fear  him. 

Thou,  God,  seest  me. 

Eph.  i.  Blessed  be  the  God  and  Father  of  our.  Lord 
Jesus  Christ,  who  hath  blessed  us  with  all  spiritual  bless- 
ings in  heavenly  places  in  Christ,  according  as  he  hath 
chosen  us  in  him  before  the  foundation  of  the  worlds 
that  we  should  be  holy  and  without  blame  before  him.  in 
love :  having  predestinated  .us  to  the  adoption  of  sons, 
by  Jesus  Christ  to  himself,  according  to  the  good  pleasure 
of  his  will,  to  the  praise  of  the  glory  of  his  grace,  wherein 
he  hath  made  us  accepted  in  the  beloved;  in  whom  we 
have  redemption  through  his  blood,  the  forgiveness  of 
sins  according  to  the  riches  of  his  grace,  wherein  he  hath 
abounded  towards  us  in  all  wisdom  and  prudence  ;  having 
made  known  unto  us  the  mystery  of  his  will  according;  to 
his  good  pleasure  which  he  purposed  in  himself,  that 
in  the  dispensation  of  the  fulness  of  time,  he  might  gather 
together  in  one  all  things  in  Christ,  both  which  are  in 
heaven,  and  ivhich  are  on  earth,  even  in  him,  in  whom 
also  we  have  obtained  an  inheritance,  being  predestinated 


PA3S1NC   OVEft   l&lt&AK.  229 

According  to  the  purpose  of  him  who  workcth  all  things 
rfter  the  counsel  of  his  oivn  will,  that  we  should  he  to  the 
praise  of  his  glory,  who  first  trusted  in  Christ. 

Chapter  ii.  and  iv.  God  who  is  rich  in  mercy,  for  his 
great  love  wherewith  he  loved  ns:  even  when  we  were 
dead  in  sins,  haih  quickened  us  together  ivith  Christ.  {By 
Grace  ye  are  saved,)  and  hath  raised  us  up  together,  and 
made  us  sit  together  in  heavenly  places  in  Christ  Jesus, 
that  in  the  ages  to  come,  he  might  shew  the  exceeding 
riches  of  his  Grace,  in  his  kindness  towards  us  through 
Christ  Jesus  :.  for  by  Grate  are  ye  saved,  through  faith, 
and  that  not  of  yourselves,  it  is  the  gift  of  God :  not  of 
works,  lest  any  man  should  boast ;  for  we  are  his  work- 
manship, created  in  Christ  Jesus  unto  good  workss  which 
God  hath  before  ordained,  that  we  should  walk  in  them. 
Now  therefore,  ye  Gentiles  are  no  more  strangers  and 
foreigners,  but  fellow-citizens  with  the  Saints,  and  of  the 
household  of  God,  and  are  built  upon  the  foundation  of 
the  apostles  and  pjrepheis,  Jesus  Christ  himself  being  the 
chief  corner  stone :  in  whom  all  the  building,  fitly  framed 
together,  groiveth  into  an  holy  temple  in  the  Lord:  in 
whom  ye  also  are  buildcd  together  for  an  habitation  of 
God  through  the  Spirit.  Chapter  iii.  /  Paul  bow  my 
knees  unto  the  Father  of  our  Lord  Jesus  Christ,  of  whom 
the  whole  family  in  heaven  and  earth  is  na?ncd0  that  he 
would  grant  you  according  to  the  riches  of  his  glory,  to 
be  strengthened  with  might  by  his  Spirit  in  the  inner  mam 
that  Christ  may  dwell  in  your  hearts  by  faith ;  that  yc 
being  rooted  and  grounded  in  love,  may  be  able  to  compre- 
hend with  all  Saints,  what  is  the  breadth,  and  length,  and 
height,  and  depth,  and  to  know  the  love  of  Christ,  which 
passcth  knowledge,  that  ye  might  be  filled  with  all  the 
fulness  of  God.  Now  unto  him  that  is  able  to  do  <:■- 
<t 'rdtng  abundantly  above  d]  that  tec  com  ask  or  ihh  J 


230  PROVISION    FOK. 

according  to  the  power  that  worketh  in  us  :  unto  him  be 
glory  in  the  Church  by  Jesus  Christ,  throughout  all  ages, 
world  without  end.     Amen. 

Chapter  iv.  /  therefore,  the  prisoner  of  the  Lord, 
beseech  you,  that  ye  walk  worthy  of  the  vocation  where- 
with  ye  are  called :  with  all  loivliness  and  meekness,  with 
long-suffer  ing,  forbearing  one  another  in  love,  endeavour- 
ing to  keep  the  unity  of  the  Spirit  in  the  bond  of  peace. 
There  is  one  body  and  one  Spirit,  even  as  ye  are  called 
in  one  hope  of  your  calling :  One  Lord,  one  faith,  one 
baptism,  one  God  and  Father  of  all,  who  is  above  all,  and 
through  all,  and  in  you  all.  But  unto  every  one  of  us  is 
given  Grace .  according  to  the  measure  of  the  gift  of 
Christ.  That  we  may  grow  up  into  him  in  all  things 
which  is  ih$  head,  even  Christ :  From  whom  the  whole 
body  fitly  joined  together  and  compacted  by  that  which 
every  joint  supplicth.— (Ministers  and  people  in  the  use 
of  all  appointed  means,) — according  to  the  effectual  work- 
ing in  the  measure  of  every  part,  maketh  increase  of  the 
body  to  the  edifying  of  itself  in  love. 

John  xv.  1  am  the  vine,  ye  are  the  branches  ;  he  that 
abideth  in  me  and  J  in  him,  the  same  bringcth  forth  much 
fruit,  for  without  me  ye  can  do  nothing. 

Exodus  xvi.  And  Moses  said,  The  Lord  hcareth  your 
murmurings  that  ye  murmur  against  him ;  and  what  arc 
we?  your  murmurings  are  not  against  us,  but  against  the 
Lord.  And  Moses  said,  This  is  the  bread  ivhich  the  Lord 
giveth  you  to  cat.  And  the  children  of  Israel  did  eat  manna 
until  they  came  unto  the  borders  of  the  land  of  Canaan.- 

Joux  vi.  /  dm  the  living  bread  which  came  down  from 
heaven :  if  any  man  cat  of  this  bread,  he  shall  live  for 
ever :  and  the  bread  that  I  will  give  is  my  flesh,  which 
I  will  give  for  the  life  of  the  world.  He  that  eatcth  my 
fiesh-,  and  drii'keth  my  blood,  dicelleth  in  me,  and  Tin  hiift. 


PASSING    OVER    JORDAN.  23! 

The  words  which  I  speak  unto  you,  they  arc  Spirit,  and 
they  arc  life, 

1  Cor.  i.  For  of  him  arc  ye  in  Christ  Jesus,  wlio  of 
God  is  made  unto  us  wisdom,  and  righteousness,  and  sanc- 
f  if  cation,  and  redemption. 

Heb.  iv.  Seeing  then  that  we  have  a  great  High 
Priest  who  is  passed  into  the  heavens,  Jesus  the  Son  of 
God,  let  us  hold  fast  our  profession.  For  we  have  not 
a  High  Priest  who  cannot  be  touclicd  with  the  feeling  of 
our  infirmities ;  but  was  in  cdl  points  tempted  like  as  we 
are,  yet  without  sin.  Let  us  therefore  come  boldly  to 
the  throne  of  Grace,  that  ice  may  obtain  mercy,  and 
find  Grace  to  help  in  time  of  need.  Chapter  viii.  For 
tJiis  is  the  Covenant  that  I  will  make  with  the  house  of 
Israel  after  those  days,  saith  the  Lord.  I  will  put  my 
laws  into  their  mind,  and  write  them  on  their  hearts,  and 
I  will  be  to  them  a  God,  and  they  shall  be  to  mc  a  people  ; 
and  they  shall  not  teach  every  man  his  neighbour,  and 
every  man  his  brother,  saying,  Know  the  Lord,  for  all  shall 
know  mc,  from  the  least  to  the  greatest ;  for  I  will  be 
merciful  to  their  unrighteousness,  and  their  sins  and  their 
iniquities  will  I  remember  no  more.  In  that  he  saith,  a 
new  Covenant,  he  hath  made  the  first  old :  now  that  which 
decay eth,  and  waxcth  old,  is  ready  to  vanish  aivay. 

1  John  v.  This  is  the  record,  that  God  has  given  to 
us  eternal  life,  and  this  life  is  in  his  Son.  He  that  hath 
the  Son  hath  life,  and  he  that  hath  not  the  Son,  hath  not 
life.      Thanks  be  to  God  for  his  unspeakable  gift. 

Psalm  lxii.  Truly  my  soul  waiteih  upon  God ;  from 
him  comet  h  my  salvation;  he  is  my  defence,  I  shall  not 
be  greatly  moved.  My  soul,  wait  thou  only  upon  God,  my 
expectation  is  from  him  ;  he  only  is  my  rock  and  my  sal- 
ration  ;  he  is  my  defence,  I  shall  not  be  moved.  In  God  is 
my  salvation  and  my  glory :  the  rock  of  my  strength, 
and  my  refuge  is  in  God. 


%3%  VRQYt&CetK   F§8 


REST. 

Genesis  ii.  I*fe  //ic  heavens  and  the  earth  were  fin* 
ished,  and  on  the  seventh  day  God  ended  his  work  which 
he  had  made,  and  he  rested  the  seventh  day  from  all  his 
work  which  he  had  made  >  and  God  blessed  the  seventh 
day,  and  sanctified  it,  because  thai  in  ii  he  had  rested 
from  all  his  work  that  he  had  created  and  made. 

Exodus  xvu  And  Moses  said,  To-morrow  is  the  rest 
ef  the  holy  Sabbath  imto  the  Lord.,  So  the  people  rested 
m.  the  seventh  day... 

Luke  xxiii.  And  the  women  followed'  aftet\  and  be- 
held the  sepulchre,  and  how  his  body  was  laid,  and  theyt 
returned,  and  prepared  spices  and  ointments,  and  rested 
the  Sabbath  day  according  to  the  commandment. 

Christ  rested  In  the  tomb  of  Joseph  th«  last  Sabbath 
nader  the  law:  but  the  evening  and  the  morning 
were  the  first  daj\  On  that  morning  he  closed  hia 
work  of  humiliation,  manifested  his  victory  over  death 
the  curse  denounced,  by  rising  from,  the  tomb,  and! 
rested  on  the  first  day  of  the  week  from  all  his  humi- 
liation work;  his  death,  burial,  and  rest  in  the  grave- 
qi\  the  seventh  day,  being  the  last  part  of  that  work 


PASSING    OVER   JORDAN.  233 

"  My  God,  thy  service  well  demands 

The  remnant  of  my  days; 
Why  is  this  feeble  life  preserv'd, 

But  to  repeat  tby  praise  ? 

"  Thine  arms  of  everlasting  love 

Do  this  weak  frame  sustain ; 
While  life  is  hov'ring  o'er  the  grave, 

And  nature  sinks  with  pain. 

"  Thou,  when  the  pains  of  death  assail, 

Wilt  chase  the  fears  of  hell : 
And  teach  my  pale  and  quivering  lips 

Thy  matchless  grace  to  tell. 

"  Calmly,  I'll  lay  my  fainting  head 

On  thy  dear  faithful  breast ; 
Pleas'd  to  obey  my  Father's  call, 

To  his  eternal  rest. 

"  Into  thy  hands,  my  Saviour  God, 

Do  I  my  30ul  resign, 
In  firm  dependence  on  that  truth 

That  made  salvation  mine." 


THE    INWARD    WARFARE. 

"  Strange  and  mysterious  is  my  life! 
.   What  opposites  I  feel  within  : 
A  stable  peace,  a  constant  strife, 
The  rule  of  grace,  the  power  of  sin. 
Too  often  i  am  captive  led, 
Yet  daily  triumph  in  my  Head. 

•■  I  prize  the  privilege  of  prayer  ; 

But  Oh  !  what  backwardness  to  pray  ; 
Tho'  on  the  Lord  I  cast  my  care, 
I  feel  its  burden  every  day. 
I  seek  his  will  in  all  I  do. 
Yet  find  my  own  is  working  too> 

2G 


23 i  PROVISION    FOR 

"  I  call  the  promises  my  own, 

And  prize  them  more  than  mines  of  gold;; 
Yet  though  their  sweetness  I  have  known, 
They  leave  me  unimpress'd  and  cold. 
One  hour  upon  the  truth  1  feed, 
The  next,  I  know  not  what  I  read. 

"  I  love  the  holy  day  of  rest, 

AVhen  Jesus  meets  his  gather'd  saints : 
Sweet  day  of  all  the  week  the  best, 
For  its  return  my  spirit  pants : 
Yet  often  through  my  unbelief, 
It  proves  a  day  of  guilt  and  grief. 

"  AVhile  on  my  Saviour  I  rely, 

I  know  my  foes  shall  lose  their  aim  : 
And  therefore  dare  their  power  defy, 
Assur'd  of  conquest  thro'  his  name. 
But  soon  my  confidence  is  slain, 
And  all  my  fears  return  again. 

"  Thus  diff'rent  powers  within  me  strive, 

And  death,  and  sin,  by  turns  prevail: 
I  grieve,  rejoice,  decline,  revive, 
And  vict'ry  hangs  in  doubtful  scale: 
But  Jesus  has  his  promise  past, 
That  Grace  shall  overcome  at  last." 


FLESH    AND    SPIRIT.  •  *  ; 

"  What  diff'rent  powers  of  Grace  and  sin 

Attend  our  mortal  slate : 
I  hate  the  thoughts  that  work  within: 

Yet  do 'the  works  I  hate. 

*<  Now  I  complain,  and  groan,  and  die, 

While  sin  and  Satan  reign; 
Now  raise  my  songs  of  triumph  high, 

For  Grace  prevails  again. 


PASSING    OVER    JORDAN.  235 

M  So  darkness  struggles  with  the  light 

Till  perfed  day  arise; 
Wafer  and  fire  maintain  the  fight 

Until  the  weaker  dies. 

"  Thus  will  the  Flesh  and  Spirit  strive, 

And  vex  and  break  my  peace; 
But  1  shall  quit  this  mortal  life, 

And  sin  for  ever  cease." 


"  Join  all  the  names  of  love  and  pow'r 
That  ever  men  or  angels  bore  ; 
All  are  too  mean  to  speak  his  worth, 
Or  set  Emmanuel's  glory  forth. 

"  But,  Oh  !  what  condescending  ways 
He  takes  to  teach  his  heavenly  Grace ! 
My  eyes,  with  joy  and  wonder  see, 
What  forms  of  love  he  bears  for  me. 

"  The  Angel  of  the  Covenant  stands 
With  his  commission  in  his  hands; 
Sent  from  his  Father's  milder  throne, 
To  make  his  great  salvation  known. 

"  Great  Prophet!  let  me  bless  thy  name 
By  thee  the  joyful  tit'ings  came : 
Of  wrath  appeas'd  and  sins  forgiv'n, 
Of  hell  subdu'd  and  peace  with  heav'n. 

"  My  bright  example,  and  my  Guide, 
I  would  be  walking  by  thy  side; 
Oh  !  let  me  never  run  astray, 
Nor  follow  the  forbidden  way. 

"  I  love  my  Shepherd,  he  shall  keep 
My  wanU'ring  soul  among  his  sheep  ; 
He  feeds  his  flock,  he  tells  their  names. 
And  in  his  bosom  bears  the  lambs. 


236  PROVISION    FOR 

"  My  Surety  undertakes  my  cause, 
Answ'ring  his  Father's  broken  laws; 
Behold  my  soul  at  freedom  set ; 
My  surety  paid  the  dreadful  debt. 

«'  Jesus,  my  great  High  Priest,  has  died, 
I  seek  no  sacrifice  beside  : 
His  blood  did  once  for  all  atone, 
And  now  it  pleads  before  the  throne. 

"  My  Advocate  appears  on  high ; 
The  Father  lays  his  thunder  by  : 
Not  all  that  earth  or  hell  can  say, 
Shall  turn  my  Father's  heart  away. 

"  My  Lord,  my  Conqu'ror,  and  my  King, 
Thy  sceptre  and  thy  sword  I  sing; 
Thine  is  the  vict'ry  and  I  sit 
A  joyful  subject  at  thy  feet. 

.    "  Aspire,  my  soul,  to  glorious  deeds : 
The  Captain  of  salvation  leads; 
March  on,  nor  fear  to  win  the  day, 
Tho'  death  and  hell  obstruct  thy  way. 

««  Tho'  death  and  hell,  and  powers  unknowa 
Put  all  their  forms  of  mischief  on  : 
I  shall  be  safe,  for  Christ  displays 
Salvation  in  more  sov'reign  ways." 


"  Be  this  my  one  great  business  here, 
With  holy  trembling,  holy  fear, 

To  make  my  calling  sure ; 
Thine  utmost  counsel  to  fulfil, 
And  suffer  all  thy  righteous  will, 

And  to  the  end  endure. 


PASSING    OVER    JORDAN.  237 

«  Then,  Saviour,  then  my  soul  receive, 
Transported  from  this  vale  to  live 

And  reign  with  thee  ahove : 
Where  faith  is  sweetly  lost  in  sight, 
And  hope  ;n  fnll  supreme  delight 

And  everlasting  love." 


"  Hush,  my  distrustful  heart, 
Nor  way  give  to  thy  fears, 
For  greater,  Lord,  thou  art 
Than  all  my  doubts  and  fears. 
Did  Jesus  once  upon  me  shine  ? 
Then  Jesus  is  for  ever  mine. 

"  Unchangeable  his  will, 

Whatever  be  my  frame  : 
His  loving  heart  is  still 
Eternally  the  same. 

My  soul  thro'  many  changes  goes. 
His  love  no  variation  knows. 

;i  Thou.  Lord,  wilt  carry  on, 

And  perfectly  perform 
The  work  thou  hast  begun, 
In  me,  vile  sinful  worm. 

My  own  self-will  brings  grief  and  woe, 
But  Jesus  will  not  let  me  go. 

"  The  bowels  of  thy  grace, 
At  first  did  freely  move; 
And  still  I  see  thy  face, 
And  feel  that  God  is  love. 

Into  thine  arms  my  soul  I  cast; 
By  sov'reign  mercy  sav'd  at  last." 

The  Priest  and  Ark  now  move 
To  Jordan's  gulnhy  strand  ; 
Come  now  thy  cov'nant  love, 
Take  firm  thy  promVd  stand: 
Only  to  me  thy  ouusfnaiice  show, 
I  ask  no  more  the  Jordan  through. 


238  provision  for 

"  Come  let  us  join  our  cheerful  songs 
With  angels  round  the  throne; 

Ten  thousand  thousand  are  their  tongues, 
But  all  their  joys  are  one. 

"  Worthy  the  Lamb  that  died,  they  cry ! 

To  be  exalted  thus; 
Worthy  the  Lamb  our  souls  reply, 

For  he  was  slain  for  us. 

"  Jesus  is  worthy  to  receive 

Honour  and  pow'r  divine  ; 
And  blessings  more  than  we  can  give  ; 

Be,  Lord,  for  ever  thine. 

"  The  whole  creation  join  in  one, 

To  bless  the  sacred  name 
Of  him  that  sits  upon  the  throne, 

And  to  adore  the  Lamb." 


M  Give  me  the  wings  of  faith  to  rise 

Within  the  veil,  and  see, 
The  saints  above,  how  great  their  joys, 

How  bright  their  glories  be. 

"  Once  they  were  mourners  here  below, 
And  wet  their  couch  with  tears ; 

They  wrestled  hard  as  we  do  now, 
With  sins,  and  doubts,  and  fears. 

"  I  ask  tliem,  whence  their  vict'ry  came : 

They  with  united  breath, 
Ascribe  their  conquest  to  the  Lamb; 

Their  triumph  to  his  death. 

*{  They  mark'd  the  footsteps  that  he  trod 
His  zeal  inspirM  their  breast; 

And  following  the  incarnate  God, 
Possess'd  the  promis'd  rest. 


PASSING    OYER   J8RDAN.  239 

"  Our  glorious  Leader  claims  our  praise, 

For  his  own  pattern  given  : 
While  the  long  cloud  of  witnesses 

Show  the  same  path  to  heaven." 


With  heart,  and  hands,  and  lifted  eyes, 
I'll  praise  thee  while  I've  life  and  breath ; 

And  while  my  loosen'd  spirit  flies, 
I'll  gasp  thy  praise,  in  very  death. 

Faith  fain  would  say  in  boasting  mood, 

Thy  name  be  glorified  : 
By  leading  through  the  swelling  flood. 

Or  through  the  channel  dried. 

If  Grace  in  time  of  need  I  have, 

And  strength  as  is  my  day  . 
I'll  triumph  thro'  the  foaming  wave, 

As  thro'  the  side-wall'd  way. 


"  I'll  praise  my  Maker  while  I've  breath, 
And  when  my  voice  is  lost  in  death, 

Praise  shall  employ  my  noblest  powers ; 
My  days  of  praise  shall  ne'er  be  past 
While  life  and  breath  and  being  last, 

And  immortality  endures." 


*  My  God  indulge  my  humble  claim ; 

Thou  art  my  hope,  my  joy,  my  rest ; 
The  glories  that  compose  thy  name, 

Stand  all  engag'd  to  make  me  blest, 

"  Thou  great  and  good,  thou  just  and  wise. 

Thou  art  my  Father  and  my  God  : 
And  I  am  thine  by  sacred  ties, 

Thy  child,  thy  servant,  bought  with  blood. 


240  PROVISION    FOR 

"  With  heart,  and  eyes,  and  lifted  hands. 
For  thee  i  long,  to  thee  1  loot : 

As  travellers  in  thirsty  lands 

Pant  for  the  cooling  water  brook." 


"  Jesus  !  the  weary  wanderer's  rest, 
Give  grace  thy  sovVeign  will  to  bear; 

With  steadfast  patience  arm  my  breast 
With  holy  love  and  lowly  fear. 

"  Thankful,  I  take  the  cup  from  thee, 
Prepar'd  and  mingled  by  thy  skill ; 

Tho'  bitter  to  the  taste  it  be, 
Powerful  the  wounded  soul  to  heal. 

Be  thou  a  rock  of  ages  nigh, 
My  saved  soul  on  thee  aione  : 
Shall  safely  rest,  and  fears  shall  fly, 
As  clouds  before  the  nad-day  sun* 

"  Speak  to  my  troubled  conscience  peace, 

.  Say  to  my  tremb'lirig  heart,  be  still : 
My  power  thy  strength  and  fortress  is: 
Amen  \  to  all  thy  sov'reigu  will. 

"  0  Death  where  is  thy  sting,  where  now 
Thy  boasted  victory  O  Grave? 

Who  shali  contend  with  God,  or  who 
Condemn  whom  he  delights  to  save/' 


"  How  sweet  the  name  of  Jesus  sounds 

In  a  believer's  ear: 
It  sooths  his  sorrows,  heals  his  wounds, 

And  drives  away  his  fear. 

"  It  makes  the  wounded  spirit  whole, 
And  calms  the  troubled  breast; 

'Tis  manna  to  the  hungry  soul, 
And  to  the  weary,  rest. 


MASSING    OVER   JORDAN.  241 


*  Dear  name  !  the  rock  on  which  I  build, 

My  shield  and  hiding  place  ; 
My  never  failing  treas'ry  filPd 

With  boundless  stores  of  grace. 

"  Jesus,  my  Shepherd,  husband,  Friend, 
My  Prophet,  Priest,  and  King, 

My  Lord,  my  life,  my  way,  my  end, 
Accept  the  praise  I  bring. 

Weak  is  the  effort  of  my  heart, 
And  cold  my  warmest  thought, 
But  when  I  see  thee  as  thou  art, 
I'll  praise  thee  as  I  ought. 

"  Till  then  I  would  thy  love  proclaim, 

With  ev'ry  fleeting  breath ; 
And  niriy  the  music  of  thy  name 

Refresh  my  soul  in  death." 


"  Amazing  grace,  how  sweet  the  sound 

That  sav'd  a  wretch  like  me  ; 
I  once  was  lost,  but  now  am  found, 

Was  blind,  but  now  I  see. 

"  'Twas  grace  that  taught  my  heart  to  fear, 

And  grace  my  fears  reliev'd  : 
How  precious  did  that  grace  appear 

The  hour  I  first  believ'd. 

"  Thro'  many  dangers,  toils,  and  snares 

Already  I  hftve  come  : 
rTis  grace  has  brought  me  safe  thus  far, 

And  grace  will  lead  me  home. 

41  Yes,  when  this  heart  and  flesh  shall  fail, 

And  mortal  life  shall  cease, 
I  shall  possess  within  the  vail, 

A  life  of  joy  and  peace/' 
2H 


!42  PROVISION    FOR 

A  swelling  Jordan  rolls  between, 

A  timid  pilgrim,  I ; 
But  Grace  shall  order  all  the  scene, 

And  Christ  himself  be  nigh : 

He  shall  roll  back  the  foaming  wave, 
Command  the  channel  dry  ; 

No  sting  has  death,  no  vict'ry  grave; 
With  Jesus  in  my  eye. 


"  Come,  thou  fount  of  ev'ry  blessing 
Tune  my  heart  to  sing  thy  grace; 

Streams  of  mercy  never  ceasing, 
Call  for  songs  of  endless  praise. 

*c  Teach  me  some  melodious  sonnet, 
Sung  by  flaming  tongues  above ; 

Praiee  the  mount,  I'm  fix'd  upon  it, 
Mount  of  God's  unchanging  love. 

"Here  I  raise  my  Ebenezer, 
Hither  by  thy  help  I'm  come, 

And  I  hope  by  thy  good  pleasure* 
Safely  to  arrive  at  home. 

tc  Jesus  sought  me  when  a  stranger, 
Wand'ring  from  the  fold  of  God ; 

He,  to  save  my  soul  from  danger, 
Interpos'd  with  precious  blood. 

"  Oh,  to  Grace  how  great  a  debtor, 
Daily  I'm  constraint  to  be  ! 

Let  that  grace,  Lord,  like  a  fetter, 
Bind  my  wand'ring  heart  to  thee 

"  Prone  to  wander,  Lord  I  feel  it, 
Prone  to  leave  the  God  I  love ; 

Here's  my  heart,  O  take  and  seal  it, 
Seal  it  from  thy  courts  above." 


PASSING    OVER    JORDAN.  243 

M  Eternal  God,  I  bless  thy  name, 
The  same  thy  power,  thy  grace  the  same; 
The  tokens  of  thy  friendly  care, 
Open  and  crown,  and  close  the  year. 

"  I,  'midst  ten  thousand  dangers  stand, 
Supported  by  thy  gracious  hand; 
And  see,  when  I  survey  thy  ways, 
Ten  thousand  monuments  of  grace. 

• 
"  Thus  far  thy  arm  has  led  me  on, 
Tb<u  far  I  make  thy  mercy  known; 
And  while  1  tread  this  desert  land, 
New  mercies  shall  new  songs  demand. 

"  My  grateful  soul  on  Jordan's  shore, 
Shall  raise  one  sacred  pillar  more : 
Then  bear  in  thy  bright  courts  above 
Inscriptions  of  immortal  love." 


c<  No  works  to  rest  upon,  have  I, 
No  boast  of  moral  dignity  : 
If  e'er  I  lisp  a  song  of  praise, 
Grace  is  the  note  my  soul  shall  raise. 

"  'Twas  grace  that  quicken'd  me  when  dead, 
'Twas  grace  my  soul  to  Jesus  led, 
Grace  brings  me  pardon  for  my  sin, 
And  grace  subdues  my  lusts  within. 

"  'Tis  grace  that  sweetens  ev'ry  cross, 
'Tis  grace  supports  in  ev'ry  loss : 
In  Jesus'  grace,  my  soul  is  strong, 
Grace  is  my  hope,  and  Christ  my  song. 

"  Thus,  '(is  alone  of  grace  I  boast, 
And  'tis  alone  in  grace  I  trust : 
For  all  (hat's  past,  grace  is  my  theme, 
For  what's  to  come  'tis  still  the  same." 


214  PROVISION    FOR 

And  when  I  come  to  Jordan's  shore? 
I'll  raise  one  Ebenezer  more  : 
Th'  Ark  of  the  Cov'nant  in  my  view, 
I'll  sing  of  grace  the  Jordan  through. 


"  Is  this  the  kind  return  ? 

And  these  the  thanks  we  owe  ? 
Thus  to  abuse  eternal  love, 

Whence  all  our  blessings  flow. 

"  To  what  a  stubborn  frame, 

Has  sin  rednc'd  our  mind! 
What  strange  rebellious  wretches  we* 

And  God,  as  strangely  kind. 

"  Turn  us  again,  O  God ! 

And  mould  our  souls  afresh  ; 
Break,  sov'reign  grace,  these  hearts  of  stone 

And  give  us  hearts  of  flesh. 

"  Let  past  ingratitude  * 

Provoke  our  weeping  eyes  : 
And  hourly  as.  new  mercies  fall, 

Let  hourly  thanks  arise. 


lt  0  the  sweet  wonders  of  that  cross,   <• 
Where  God  my  Saviour  lov'd  and  diedf 

Her  noblest  life  my  spirit  draws, 

From  his  dear  wounds  and  bleeding  side.' 

I  would  for  ever  speak  his  name, 
In  sounds  to  mortal  ears  unknown; 

With  Angels  join  to  praise  the  Lamb, 
And  worship  at  his  Father's  throne. 


PASSING    OVER    JORDAN.  245 

•'  Jesus  the  vision  of  tby  face, 

Hath  overpowering  charms; 
Scarce  shall  I  feel  death's  cold  embrace, 

If  Christ  be  in  my  arms." 


"  0  glorious  hour !  O  blest  abode  ! 

I  shall  be  near  and  like  my  God; 
And  flesh  and  sin  no  more  control 

The  sacred  pleasures  of  my  soul." 


*'  When  in  death's  gloomy  vale  I  tread, 
With  joy  ev'n  there  I'll  lift  my  head ; 
From  fear  and  dread,  he'll  keep  me  free. 
His  rod  and  staff  shall  comfort  me." 


"  Jesus,  to  thy  dear  faithful  hand, 

My  naked  soul  1  trust  ; 
My  flesh  but  waits  for  thy  command. 

To  drop  into  the  dust." 


"  Before  we  quite  forsake  our  clay, 
,   Or  leave  this  dark  abode. 
The  wings  of  love  bear  U3  away, 
To  see  our  smiliug  God." 


0  make  it  true,  my  Saviour  God  i 
Raisi   we  ."II  fear*  above  : 

And  when.  I  think  on  Jesus'  blood, 
Let  my  last  nulse  beat  love. 


246  PROVISION    FOR 

"  O  for  an  overcoming  faith, 
To  cheer  my  dying  hours; 

To  triumph  o'er  the  monster  death, 
And  all  his  frightful  powers. 

"  Joyful  with  all  the  strength  i  have, 
My  quivering  lips  should  sing : 

Where  is  thy  boasted  vict'ry,  Grave, 
And  where  the  monster's  sting  ? 

"  If  sin  be  pardon'd  1'm.secure : 
Death  hath  no  sting  beside; 

The  law  gives  sin  its  damning  power, 
But  Christ,  my  Ransom,  died. 

"  Now  to  the  God  of  victory, 
Immortal  thanks  be  paid  ; 

Who  makes  us  conqu'rors  while  we  die. 
Through  Christ,  our  living  head." 


All  mortal  vanities  be  gone, 

Nor  tempt  my  eyes  nor  tire  my  ears ; 
Behold  !  amidst  tb'  eternal  throne, 

A  vision  of  the  Lamb  appears. 

All  the  assembling  saints  around, 
Fall  worshipping  before  the  Lamb ; 

And  in  new  songs  of  gospel  sound, 
Address  their  honours  to  his  name. 

Our  voices  join  the  heavenly  strain, 

And  with  transporting  pleasure  sing, 
Worthy  the  Lamb  that  once  was  slain, 
"  Our  blessed  Prophet,  Priest,  and  King. 

Thou  hast  redeem'd  our  souls  from  hell. 
With  thine  invaluable  blood; 

And  wretches  that  did  once  rebel, 
Are  now  made  fav'rites  of  their  God. 


PASSING    OVER   JORDAN.  247 

Worthy  for  ever  is  the  Lord, 

That  died  for  treasons  not  his  own ; 
By  ev'ry  tongue  to  be  ador'd, 

And  dwell  upon  his  Father's  throne. 


THE    NEW    TESTAMENT    IN    THE    BLOOD    OF    CHRIST. 

"  The  promise  of  my  Father's  love, 

Shall  stand  for  ever  good  ;" 
He  said,  and  gave  his  soul  to  death, 

And  seal'd  it  with  his  blood. 

"  To  this  dear  Cov'nant  of  thy  word, 

I  set  my  worthless  name; 
I  seal  th'  engagement  of  the  Lord, 

And  make  my  humble  claim. 

"  The  light,  and  strength,  and  pard'ning  grace, 

And  glory,  shall  be  mine  : 
My  life  and  soul,  my  heart  aud  flesh, 

And  all  my  powers,  are  thine. 

"  I  call  that  legacy  my  own, 

Which  Jesus  did  bequeath  : 
'Twas  j>urchas'd  with  a  dying  groan, 

And  ratified  in  death. 

"  Sweet  is  the  memVy  of  his  name, 

Who  bless'd  us  in  his  will ; 
And  to  his  testament  of  love, 

Made  his  own  life  the  seal. 

i4  To  him  that  wash'd  me  in  his  blood, 

Be  everlasting  praise  ; 
Salvation,  honour,  glory,  power, 

Eternal  as  his  days." 


248  PROVISION    FOR 

"  Blest  be  the  Father  and  his  love, 
To  which  celestial  source  we  owe ; 

Rivers  of  endless  joys  above, 
And  rills  of  comfort  here  below. 

"  Glory  to  the  great  Son  of  God; 

From  his  dear  wounded  body  rolls, 
A  precious  stream  of  vital  blood, 

Pardon  and  life  for  dying  souls. 

'"  We  give  thee,  sacred  Spirit,  praise, 
Who,  in  our  hearts  of  sin  and  woe., 

Makes  living  springs  of  grace  arise, 
And  into  boundless  glory  flow. 

«  Thus  God  the  Father,  God  the  Son, 
And  God  the  Spirit,  we  adore ; 

The  Sea  of  life  and  love  unknown, 
Without  a  bottom  or  a  shore." 


"  JiET  me  but  hear  my  Saviour  say, 
Strength  shall  be  equal  to  thy  day ; 
Then  I  rejoice  in  deep  distress,    , 
Leaning  on  all-sufficient  grace. 

"  I  glory  in  infirmity, 
That  Christ's  own  power  may  rest  on  me; 
When  I  am  weak  then  am  I  strong; 
Grace  is  my  shield,  and  Christ  my  song. 

"  I  can  do  all  things,  or  can  bear, 
All  sufferings  if  my  Lord  be  there; 
Sweet  pleasures  mingle  with  the  pains, 
While  his  left  hand  my  head  sustains. 

"  Faith  hath  an  overcoming  power, 
Can  triumph  in  the  dying  hour; 
Christ  is  my  life,  my  joy,  my  hope ; 
I  cannot  sink  with  such  a  prop." 


PASSING    OVER    JORDAN.  249 

"  Jesus,  I  love  thy  charming  name, 

'Tis  music  to  mine  ear; 
Fain  would  I  sound  it  out  so  loud, 

That  heaven  and  earth  should  hear. 

"  Yes,  thou  art  precious  to  my  soul, 

My  transport  and  my  trust; 
My  Saviour,  Shepherd,  Husband,  Friend,, 

No  other  good  I  boast. 

"  All  my  capacious  powers  can  wish, 

In  thee  doth  richly  meet ; 
Not  to  mine  eyes  is  light  so  dear, 

Nor  friendship's  self  so  sweet. 

••  Thy  grace  still  dwells  upon  my  heart, 

And  sheds  its  fragrauce  there : 
The  noblest  balm  of  all  my  wounds. 

The  cordial  of  my  care. 

"  I'll  speak  the  honours  of  thy  name, 

With  my  last  falt'ring  breath ; 
Then  speechless  clasp  thee  in  my  arms. 

The  antidote  of  death." 


"  Grace,  'tis  a  charming  sound, 

Harmonious  to  my  ear; 
Heaven  with  the  echo  shall  resound. 

And  all  the  earth  shall  hear. 

"  Grace  first  contriv'd  the  way, 

To  save  rebellious  man  ; 
And  all  the  steps  that  grace  display. 

Which  drew  the  wondrous  plan. 

"  Grace  taught  my  wandYing  ^eet. 

To  tread  the  heav'nly  ro.id; 
And  new  supplies  each  hour  1  moot 

Whiie  pressing  on  to  God. 
2  ? 


^50  PROVISION   FOR 

"  Grace  all  the  work  shall  crown, 
Through  everlasting  days : 

It  lays  in  heaven  the  topmost  stone, 
And  well  deserves  the  praise." 


cc  My  God,  the  spring  of  all  my  joys, 

The  Hie  of  my  delights, 
The  glory  of  my  brightest  days, 

And  comfort  of  my  nights  : 

"  In  darkest  shades,  if  thou  appear, 

My  dawning  is  begun ; 
Thou  art  my  soul's  sweet  morning  star, 

And  thou,  my  rising  sun. 

cc  The  opening  heavens  around  me  shine^ 
With  beams  of  sacred  bliss ; 

While  Jesus  shows  his  heart  is  mine, 
And  whispers  1  am  his. 

*<  My  soul  would  leave  this  heavy  clay, 

At  that  transporting  word ; 
Run  up  with  joy  the  shining  way, 

T'  embrace  my  dearest  Lord. 

"  Fearless  of  bell  and  ghastly  death,' 
I'd  break  through  every  foe ; 

The  wings  of  love,    and  arms  of  faith, 
Should  bear  me  conqueror  through." 


e«  Backward,  with  humble  shame,  I  look 

On  n'.y  original, 
How  is  fny  nature  dash'd  and  broke, 

In  our  first  father's  fall. 

rt  To  all  that's  good,  averse  and  blind, 

Bui  prone  to  all  that's  ill; 
Whal  dreadful  darkness  veils  my  mind 

How  obstinate  my  win. 


PASSING    OVER    JORDAN.  251 

"  Conceiv'd  in  sin  :  Oh !  wretched  state, 

Before  1  drew  my  breath ; 
My  first  young  pulse  began  to  beat 

Iniquity  and  death. 

"  How  strong  in  my  degen'rate  blood 

The  old  corruption  reigns; 
Ana  mingling  with  the  crooked  flood, 

Wanders  thro"  all  my  veins. 

"  Yet,  mighty  God !  thy  wondrous  love. 

Can  make  my  nature  clean; 
While  Christ  and  gr  ice  prevail  above 

The  tempter,  death  and  sin. 

"  The  second  Adam  shall  restore 

The  ruins  of  the  first; 
Hosanna  to  that  sov'reign  powet 

That  new-creates  our  dust." 


POETRY 


The  three  following  Poems  were  not  found  till  after 
Airs.  Graham's  Funeral  Sermon  teas  preached.  - 


JORDAN. 

Joshua  chap.  r.  11.  and  chap.  in.     Psalm  xxiii.  4.  lxxiu.  24*. 

The  solemn  hour,  my  soul,  draws  near, 
The  holy  Ark  and  Priests  appear; 
They  forward  move  to  Jordan's  flood, 
The  type,  thou  knowest,  thy  Cov'nant  God: 

The  signal  too,  to  thee  is  known, 
Obey,  remove,  and  follow  on  ;  ■  * 

The  Ark  of  the  Cov'nant  is  thy  guide, 
Shrink  not,  but  face  the  rolling  tide.    , 

The  waves  toss  high  their  foaming  heads, 
But  can'st  thou  perish  ?  Jesus  leads. 
This  way  before  I  ne'er  did  pass, 
But  Jesus,  thy  forerunner,  has. 

When  all  its  banks  it  overflow'*!, 
All  nature  wrapt  in  midnight  cloud  ; 
While  darkness  had  its  hour  and  power. 
-  And  all  Crod's  billows  pass'd  him  o'er. 

The  waves  for  him,  must  not  divide, 
Deep  calls  to  deep  on  every  side; 
Around  his  head  the  surges  roll, 
O'ejrwheim^ng  ev'n  his  very  souL 


i»oetr¥.  253 


He  substituted  in  my  stead, 
The  curse  for  sin  laid  on  his  head; 
The  law's  demands  came  like  a  flood, 
Sinner  or  surety  must  give  blood. 

Till  jot  and  tittle  had  been  paid, 
Atonement  due  for  sin  been  made,. 
$o  way  for  him,  no  ray  of  grace  : 
Justice  ev'n  hid  his  Father's  face. 

From  brim  to  bottom  he  drank  up, 
Of  wrath,  that  deep  mysterious  cup; 
This  Jordan  pass'd,  then  rose  on  high, 
And  captive  led  captivity. 

Justice  now  fully  satisfied, 
The  law  now  honour'd,  magnified; 
At  God's  right  hand  he  takes  his  place, 
Executor  of  Cov'nant  Grace. 

Crown'd  by  Jehovah's  firm  decree, 
With  universal  sov'reignty  ; 
All  nature  owns  his  powerful  sway, 
He  speaks,  the  elements  obey. 

The  emblem,  then  thou  may'st  pursue, 
For  safe  to  thee  this  Jordan  through ; 
The  priests  hut  touch  the  watery  space, 
When,  lo!  the  floods  desert  their  place. 

They  gather  up,  upon  an  heap, 
Leave  dry  the  chanuel  ol   the  deep  ; 
The  ark  and  priests  there  tike  their  standr 
And  beckon  thee  to  leave  the  land, 

I  come,  my  best  belov'd,  I  come; 
Now  lend  me  to  our  Father's  home; 
On  thy  dear  person  fix  mine  rye, 
And  laith  6rm  footing  shall  supply. 


254  POETRY. 

I  fear  no  ill  while  thou  art  near, 
But  let  thy  voice  salute  my  ear; 
Should  spirits  faint,  and  'scape  the  sigh, 
With  these  sweet  words,  "  Fear  not,  'tis  I.* 

With  courage  fresh  my  soul  shall  tread, 
On  faith's  firm  ground  where  thou  dost  lead; 
While  still  upon  thy  gracious  face, 
My  steady  eye  maintains  its  place. 

And  now,  my  Joshua,jchoose,  and  lays 
The  stones  in  Jordan's  middle  way  ; 
Let  them  o'ertop  the  flowing  wave, 
Memorial  of  tby  power  to  save. 

For  once  a  suit  I  did  prefer, 
With  feeble  hope,  and  trembling  fear 
That  1  might  have  a  Pisgah  view, 
In  Jordan's  swells  of  Canaan  new. 

O  then,  thy  glory  let  me  see, 
Then  cause  thy  face  to  shine  on  me ; 
And  tune  my  heart,  and  tune  my  voice, 
And  language  furnish  to  rejoice : 

'  •  t 

That  all  around  may  lend  their  tongue? 
And  sweetly  join  my  dying  song ;      » 
And  Newton,  sav'd  by  grace  like  me, 
We'll  sing  of  sov'reign  grace  with  thee. 


Newton*. 

ci  Let  us  love,  and  sing,  and  wonder. 
Let  us  praise  the  Saviour's  name : 
He  has  hush'd  the  law's  loud  thunder, 
He  has  quench'd  Mount  Sinai's  flame. 
He  has  wash'd  us  in  his  blood, 
He  has  brought  us  nigh  to  God. 


: X  It  is  remarkable  that  this  hymn  Tvas  selected  by  Dr.  Mason,  and  sung  after 
Mrs.  Graham's  Funeral  Sermon. 


POETRY.  255 


*{  Let  us  love  the  Lord  who  bought  us^ 

Pitied  us  when  enemies; 
Call'd  us  by  his  grace,  and  taught  us; 
Gave  us  ears,  and  gave  us  eyes  : 
He  has  wash'd  us  in  his  blood. 
He  presents  our  souls  to  God. 

11  Let  us  sing,  tho'  strong  temptation 

Threaten  hard  to  bear  us  down  : 
For  the  Lord,  our  strong  salvation, 
Holds  in  view  the  ConquVors  crown. 
He  who  wash'd  us  in  his  blood, 
Soon  shall  bring  us  home  to  God. 

"  Let  us  wonder,  grace  and  justice 
Join  and  point  to  mercy's  store  ; 
When  through  grace  in  Christ  our  trust  is, 
Justice  smiles,  and  asks  no  more. 
He  who  wash'd  us  in  his  blood, 
Has  secur'd  our  way  to  God. 

:;  Let  us  praise,  and  join  the  chorus. 
Of  the  Saints  enthron'd  on  high ; 
Here  they  trusted  him  before  us, 
Now  their  praises  fill  the  sky. 
Thou  hast  wash'd  us  in  thy  blood 
Thou  art  worthy,  Lamb  of  God. 

M  Hark,  the  name  of  Jesus  sounded, 

Loud  from  golden  harps  above  ; 
On  that  Rock  our  hopes  are  founded  : 
Sov'reign  grace,  and  sov'reign  love. 
We  shall  conquer  through  his  blood, 
Kins;s  and  Priests  be  made  to  God." 


HEAVEN. 

To  be  where  thou,  my  Saviour,  art, 
To  see,  and  he  conform'd  to  thee 

Perfect  in  holiness  this  heart, 

Tliis — thi*;  is  heaven  itself  to  rm\ 


256  POETRY. 

To  see  thee  in  fhy  glory,  Lord  ! 

Thy  Father's  glory  and  thy  own  t 
Th'  eterml,  the  incarnate  word, 

Ador'd  upon  his  Father's  throne. 

To  «ee  as  seen,  to  know  as  known, 
My  Saviour  in  my  flesh  and  blood  I 

To  he  made  like  him,  with  him  one, 
1  iu  him,  and  he  in  God. 

The  holy,  holy,  holy,  T)ne, 

Who  was,  and  is,  and  is  to  come, 

The  earth  his  footstool,  Heaven  his  throne, 
The  Church  his  bride,  he  her  bridegroom. 

Angels,  and  Fvlders,  earth  and  heaven, 
Are  summon'd  to  unseal  the  book, 

But  silent  all,  no  answer  giv'n, 

None  worthy  found  therein  to  look. 

But  Judah's  lion.  David's  son, 

And  David's  root  the' great  I  AM, 

Appears  in  midst  his  Father's  throne3 
As  slain  for  sacrifice,  the  Lamb. 

He  takes  the  book !  he  can  unseal  ! 

He  worthy  is,  and  he  has  power, 
God's  secret  counsels  to  reveal, 

And  to  fulfil  each  in  its  hour. 

Elders  and  living  creatures  fall, 

In  prostrate  worship  'iore  his  throne. 
Each  lurnish'd  with  a  golden  vial, 
,     And  harps  of  gold  to  a  new  song. 

New  odours  to  the  throne  ascend  ! 

In  accents  new  their  praises  soar. 
Angels  with  powers  intent  attend, 

Aud  as  they  learn,  bow  and  adore. 


POETRY.  267 

And  shall  I  join  that  prostrate  throng, 

In  love's  extatic  heav'n-taught  lays, 
With  pow'rs  expanded,  that  new  song, 

Hymn  to  the  Lamb's  exalted  praise! 

Worthy  art  thou  to  take  the  book, 

And  loose  the  seals,  and  read  therein, 
God's  holy  mysteries  to  unlock, 

Worthy  art  thou,  for  thou  wast  slain. 

Thou  hast  redeem'd  us  with  thy  blood, 

From  every  nation,  tongue  and  ken, 
And  made  us  Kings  and  Priests  to  God, 

And  we  on  earth  with  thee  shall  reign 

Myriads  of  angels  stand  around, 

Their  voices  raise  with  loud  acclaim, 
Address  themselves  to  this  new  song, 

Ascribing  glory  to  the  Lamb. 

Worthy  the  Lamb  that  once  was  slain, 

Power  and  glory  to  receive, 
Sinners  resound  the  loud  Amen  ! 

For  he  has  died,  our  souls  to  save  ! 

From  heav'n,  earth,  sea,  bursts  forth  the  sound 

Of  blessing,  honour,  glory,  power  I 
To  him  that  sitteth  on  the  throne, 

And  to  the  Lamb  for  evermore^ 

The  elders  worship,  falling  down, 

The  living  creatures  cry,  Amen, 
Threefold  the  song,  the  substance  one, 

God  and  the  Lamb,  theme  without  end 

In  all  these  myriads  is  there  one, 

Who  had  on  earth  so  much  forgiven  ? 
And  shall  I  reach  their  highest  tone 

Of  love  to  Jesus  ?    This  is  Heaven  !  !  * 


2  K 


258  POETRY. 

And  when  this  breast  to  heave  shall  cease, 
And  heart,  and  lungs  are  bush'd  to  peace, 
Some  friendly  hand  the  eye-lids  close*, 
And  leave  the  clay  to  short  repose*  ; 

'Till  on  your  knees  be  thanks  exprest*, 
According  as  the  Lord  has  blest ; 
This  tongue,  then  mute,  can  now  foretell, 
Jesus  shall  have  done  all  things  well. 

Should  Sovereign  wisdom  will  it  so, 
That  1  in  secret  with  him  go, 
Then  he  himself,  will  stand  me  by, 
And  ev'ry  needful  aid  supply. 

Upon  his  dear,  his  faithful  breast, 
My  heart,  and  head,  shall  safely  rest  j 
The  flutt'ring  pulse  and  bursting  sigh, 
He'll  soothe  with  "  Fear  not,  it  is  I." 

Into  his  hands  my  spirit  I'll  breathe, 
Inhaling  life,  from  him  in  death  : 
Though  none  should  see,  faith  can  foretell. 
My  Jesus  shall  do  all  things  well. 

But  circumstance  of  ev'ry  sort, 

May  be  Imagination's  sport, 

Naught  can  to  faith  safe  food  afford,  * 

But  what  is  found  in  God's  own  word, 

In  Christ  who  is  th*  essential  word, 
The  word  inspir'd,  that  Word's  record, 
Here  faith  may  roam  and  (eed  secure, 
For  ev'ry  promise  here  is  sure. 

Tho'  he  deny  my  half-form'd  pray'r, 
AVell  may  I  cast  on  Kim  my  care, 
All  things  are  mine,  or  life,  or  death, 
1  his,  he  God's,  Himself  thus  saith. 

.Should  he'  in  Jordan's  topmost  wave 

Me  plunge,   I'll  grace  sufficient  have, 

Pass  safely  thro'  the  foaming  deep, 

As  ii  the  fioud  stood  heap  on  heap. 

*  These  circuin-tances  took  place,  as  here  described,  although  surviving  friends  had 
not  then,  any  knowledge  of  this  poem. 


POETRT.  259* 

To  leave  for  me  that  channel  dry, 
Which  pleas'd  imagination's  eve; 
Then  let  my  will  be  sunk  in  thine, 
It  is  enough,  thyself  art  ttshie. 

Be  this,  my  only  wish  beside, 
That  God's  great  name  be  glorified, 
What  me  concerns  faith  can  foretell, 
My  Jesus  shall  do  all  things  well. 

The  following  Poems  were  found  among  some  old  pa- 
pers, and  are  supposed  to  be  original — they  were  written 
in  the  Island  of  Antigua  shortly  after  Doctor  Graham's 
death. 

Part  I. 
Hail !  thou  state  of  widowhood, 
State  of  those  that  mourn  to  God; 
Who  lrom  all  our  com'orts  torn, 
Only  live  to  pray  and  mourn. 

Meanest  of  the  number,  I 
For  my  dear  companion  sigh, 
Patiently  my  loss  deplore, 
Mourn  for  one,  that  mourns  no  more 

Me  my  consort  hath  out-run, 
Out  ot  sight  he  quite  is  gone  ; 
He  his  course  has  finish'd  here, 
First  come  to  the  sepulchre. 

Following  on  with  earnest  haste, 
'Till  my  mourning  days  are  past: 
I  my  partner's  steps  pursue, 
I  shall  soon  be  happy  too  ; 

Find  the  ease  for  which  I  pant, 
Gain  the  only  good  I  want ; 
Quietly  lay  down  my  head, 
Sink  into  my  earthy  bed. 

There  my  flesh  shall  rest  in  hope, 
'Till  the  quicken'd  dust  mount  up  ; 
When  to  glorious  life  I'll  rise, 
To  meet  mv  husband  in  theskie* 


260  POETRY. 

P*RT    Ik 

Happy  they  who  trust  in  Jesut, 
Jesus  turns  our  loss  to  gain ; 

Still  his  balmy  mercies  ease  us, 
Sweeten  all  our  grief  and  pain. 

When  be  calls  oar  friends  t'  inherit; 

All  the  glories  of  the  blest ; 
He  assures  the  widowed  spirit, 

"  Thou  shall  quickly  be  at  rest." 

T bo*  my  flesh,  and  spirit  languish, 
Let  me  not  too  much  complain ; 

Sure  at  last  t'  outlive  my  anguish ; 
Sure  to  find  my  friend  again. 

Ransom'd  from  a  world  of  sorrow. 
He  to-day  is  taken  home  ; 

I  shall  be  released  to-morrow  ; 
Come,  my  dear  Redeemer,  come. 

,     From  my  sanctified  distresses, 

Now,  or  when  thou  wilt,  receive, 
Grant  with  him  in  thine  embraces. 
Alter  all  my  deaths,  to  live.      \ 

Part  III. 

flail  holy,  holy,  holy  Lord  I 
Mysterious  three  in  one; 

For  ever  be  thy  name  ador'd, 
Thy  will  lor  ever  done. 

For  this  alone  on  earth  I  wait, 

To  glorify  my  God ; 
And  suffer  since  thou  will'st  the  state 

Of  sacred  widowhood. 

And  may  I  in  thy  strength  fulfil, 

My  awful  character ; 
And  prove  thine  acceptable  will. 

And  do  thy  pleasure  here  : 


POETRY.  26> 


The  children  unto  thee  restore, 
Whom  thou  to  me  hast  giv'n ; 

And  rule  my  house  with  ail  my  pow'r, 
And  train  them  up  for  heav'n. 

Be  this  my  hospitable  care, 

The  stranger  to  receive ; 
The  burthen  of  thy  Church  to  bear, 

And  all  their  wants  relieve. 

My  labour  of  unwearied  love, 

With  pleasure  to  repeat ; 
My  faith  unto  thy  saints  to  prove, 

And  gladly  wash  their  feet. 

The  servant  of  thy  servants  bless, 

"With  active  earnest  zeal  ; 
And  ev'ry  work  of  righteousness, 

1  shall  with  joy  fulGl. 


Wond'ring,  I  ask,  where  is  the  breast; 

Struggling  so  late,  and  rack'd  with  pain, 
The  eyes  that  upward  Jook'd  for  rest, 

And  dropt  their  weary  lids  again  ? 

The  recent  horrors  still  appear ; 

O  may  they  never  cease  to  awe ! 
Still  is  the  king  of  terrors  near, 

Whom  late  in  all  his  pomp  i  saw. 

Torture  and  sin  prepared  his  way, 
And  pointed  to  a  yawning  tomb  : 

Darkness  behind  eclips'd  the  day, 

And  check'dhis  forward  hopes  of  home. 

'Twas  not  the  searching  pain  within, 
That  filPd  the  coward  flesh  with  fear ; 

Nor  consciousness  of  outward  sin, 
Nor  sense  of  dissolution  near. 


262  POKTR1T. 

Of  hope  he  felt  no  joyful  ground, 
The  fruit  of  righteousness  alone  ; 

Naked  of  Christ  his  soul  he  found, 
And  started  from  a  God  unknown. 


His  feeble  flesh  refus'd  to  bear, 

Its  strong  redoubled  agonies; 
When  mercy  heard  his  feeble  prayer, 

And  saw  hiin  faintly  gasp  for  ease. 

"  Father!  if  I  may  call  thee  mine, 
From  heav'n  a^d  thee  reroov'd  s-o  far, 

Draw  near, — thy  pitying  eye  incline, 
And  cast  not  out  my  languid  prayer, 

"  How  shall  I  lift  my  guilty  eyes, 

Or  dare  appear  before  thy  face  1 
When  deaf  to  mercy's  loudest  cries, 

1  long  have  wearied  out  thy  grace, 

c',Loos'd  from  my  God,  and  far  removed. 
Long  have  I  wander'd  to  and  fro ; 

O'er  earth  in  endless  circles  rov'd,  , 

And  sought  a  place  of  rest  below, 

"  In  darkness,  willingly  I  stray'd, 
I  sought  thee,  yet  from  thee  I  rov'd ; 

For  wide  my  wand'ring  thoughts  were  spread; 
Thy  creatures  more  than  thee  I  Jov,'ri\ 

"  Corrupt  my  will,  nor  half  subdu'd  ; 

Can  I  thy  purer  presence  bear  ? 
Unchang'd,  initial low'd,  unrenew'd, 

Dare  I' before  thy  face  appear? 

"  Father  of  mercies  !  hear   my  call, 

E'er  yet  arrive  the  fatal  hour  ; 
Repair  my  loss,  retrieve  n?y  fall, 

And  raise  me  by  thy  quick'niug  power. 


POETRY.  203 


"  My  nature  re-exchange  for  thine, 
Be  thou  my  life,  my  hope,  my  gain; 

Clothe  me  wiih  righteousness  divine, 
And  death  shall  shake  his  dart  in  vain. 

"  When  I  thy  promis'd  Christ  have  seen, 
And  clasp'd  him  in  my  soul's  embrace; 
Possessed  of  my  salvation  then, 

Then  let  me,  Lord,  depart  in  peace. 

"  I  nothing  have,  wherein  to  trust, 
I  nothing  have,  I  nothing  am ; 

Excluded  is  my  ev'ry  boast, 

My  glory  swallovv'd  up  in  shame. 

"  Guilty  I  stand  before  thy  face ; 

I  feel  on  me  thy  wrath  abide ; 
'Tis  just,  the  sentence  should  take  place, 

JTis  just,  but,  Oh  t  thy  Son  has  died  ! 

fcC  Jesus,  the  Lamb  of  God,  hath  bled, 
He  bare  our  sins  upon  the  tree ; 

Beneath  our  curse,  he  bow'd  his  head, 
'Tis  finish'd !  he  hath  died  for  me  ! 

"  Lo  !  now  before  the  throne  he  stands, 
And  pours  the  all-prevailing  prayer  ; 
Points  to  his  side,  and  lifts  his  hands, 
.  And  shows  that  I  am  graven  there. 

'  He  ever  Jives  for  me  to  pray ; 

He  prays  that  I,  with  him,  may  reign ; 
Amen,  to  what  my  Lord  doth  say ; 
Jesus,  thou  canst  not  pray  in  vain, 

'*  A  stranger  long  to  thee,  and  rest ; 

Behold  the  prodigal  is  come  ; 
0  open  wide  thine  anno  and  breast, 

An.d  take  the  weary  wanderer  home  •' 


264  roETRY* 

"  O  draw  me,  Saviour,  after  thee  t 
So  shall  I  run,  and  never  tire; 

With  gracious  words  siili  comfort  me  : 
My  life,  my  hope,  my  sole  desire  I 

"  Fain  would  I  leave  this  earth  below*. 

Of  pain,  and  sin,  the  dark  abode; 
Where  shadowy  joy,  or  solid  woe, 

Allure,  or  tear  me  from  my  God. 

"  Whither  should  now  .my  soul  aspire, 
But  heav'uward,  to  my  Saviour's  breast  5 

Waited  on  wings  of  warm  desire, 
To  gain  her  everlasting  rest? 

"  Where  thou,  and  only  thou,  art  love; 

Far  from  the  world's  insidious  art ; 
Beyond  the  rage  of  fiends  remov'd, 

And  safe  from  my  deceitful  heart. 

fs  There  let  me  rest,  and  sin  no  more  : 
Come  quickly,  Lord,  and  end  the  strife  ; 

Hasten  my  last,  my  mortal  hour, 
Swallow  me  up  in  endless  life.  - 

'*  Thankful  1  take  the  cup  from  thee,     ' 
Prepctr'd,  and  mingled  by  ti.y  skill; 

Tho'  bitter  to  the  taste  it  be, 

Pow'riui  the  wounded  soul  to  heal. 

"  When  pains  o'er  my  weak  flesh  prevail, 
With  lame -like  patience,  arm  my  breast; 

If  fear  my  wounded  eo.il  assail, 
O  cheer  me  by  thy  promised  rest ! 

*'  Speak  to  my  fears,  and  doubtings,  peace  c9 
Say  to  my  trembling  heart,  be  still : 

Thy  power,  my  strength  and  fortress  is. 
Along  the  dark  and  dreary  vale. 


POETRY.  265 

**  *Tis  done ;  life's  struggle  now  is  o'er, 

Close  to  my  Saviour  now  I  cling; 
He  saves  me  by  redeeming  Power, 
Disarms  the  monster  of  his  sting: 

The  Saviour's  kind,  he  takes  me  home  ; 
Amen  !  sweet  Jesus,  come,  Lord,  come  !" 


Peace,  fluttering  soul  !    the  storm  is  o'er, 
Ended  at  last  the  doubtful  strife; 

He  flies  to  heav'u,  returns  no  more  j 
A  widow  thou,  no  more  a  wife, 


And  wilt  thou  yet  be  found, 
And  may  1  still  draw  near? 

Then  listen  to  the  plaintive  sound 
Of  a  poor  sinner's  prayer. 

Jesus  !  thine  aid  afford, 

If  still  the  same  thou  art: 
To  thee  I  look,  to  thee,  my  Lord, 

Lift  up  an  helpless  heart. 

Thou  see'est  my  tortur'd  breast, 
The  strugglings  of  my  will, 

The  griefs  that  interrupt  my  rest, 
The  agonies  I  feel. 

The  daily  death  I  prove, 
Saviour !  to  thee  is  known, 

'Tis  worse  than  death,  my  God  to  love, 
And  not  my  God  alone. 

Immoderate  sorrow  chide, 

Who  only  can'st  control; 
Can'st  turn  the  stream  of  nature's  tide. 

And  calm  my  troubled  soul. 

2L 


266 


PGETRT. 

0  my  much  injured  Lord ! 
Restore  my  inward  peace ; 

1  know,  thou  can'st  pronounce  the  word: 

And  bid  the  tempest  cease. 

When  shall  thy  love  constrain, 
And  force  me  to  thy  breast  ? 

"When  shall  my  soul  return  again 
To  her  eternal  rest  ? 

Thy  condescending  grace, 

To  me  did  freely  move  ; 
It  calls  me  still  to  seek  thy  face* 

And  stoops  to  ask  my  love. 

Ah  !  what  avails  my  strife, 

Distraction,  grief,  and  wo; 
Thou  hast  the  words  of  endless  life, 

To  thee  then  let  me  go. 

Lord I  at  thy  feet  I  fall, 

I  groan  to  be  set  free ; 
I  fain  would  now  obey  thy  call, 

And  give  up  all  for  thee. 

To  rescue  me  from  wo, 

Thou  did'st  with  all  things  part  j 
Didst  lead  a  life  of  grief  below, 

To  gain  my  worthless  heart. 


My  worthless  heart  to  gain, 
The  God  of  all  that  breathe, 

Was  found  in  fashion  as  a  man, 
And  died  a  cursed  death. 

Take  then,  O  Saviour,  take, 
And  keep  me  ever  thine; 

Tho'  late,  I  all  for  thee  forsake. 
And  more  than  life  resign. 


POETRY.  267 


Come  and  possess  me  whole, 
ft  or  hence  again  remove; 

Settle  and  fix  my  wavering  soul, 
With  all  thy  weight  of  love* 

My  one  desire  be  this, 

Thy  only  love  to  know, 
To  seek,  and  taste  no  other  bliss, 

No  other  good  below. 

My  life,  my  portion,  thou, 

Thou  all-sufficient  art ; 
My  hope,  my  heav'nly  treasure,  now 

Enter,  and  keep  my  heart. 

Rather  than  let  it  burn 

For  earth,  O  quench  its  heat; 

And  when  it  would  to  earth  return, 
O  let  it  cease  to  beat. 

Snatch  me  from  ill  to  come, 
When  I  from  thee  would  fly; 

0  take  my  wand'ring  spirit  home, 
And  grant  me  then  to  die. 


Sinking  underneath  my  load, 
-  Darkly  feeling  after  thee; 
Let  me  ask,  "  my  God,  my  God, 
Why  hast  thou  forsaken  me  ?" 
Why,  O  why,  am  I  forgot  ? 
Lord,  I  seek,  but  find  thee  not 

Still  I  ask,  nor  yet  receive, 

Knock  at  the  unopen'd  door; 
Still  I  struggle  to  believe, 

Hope,  the'  urg'd  to  hope  no  more. 
Bearing,  what  I  cannot  bear, 
Yielding,  fighting,  with  despair. 


268  POETRY, 

Hear  in  mercy  my  complaint, 

Hear,  and  hasten  to  my  aid  ; 
Help,  or  utterly  I  faint ; 

Fails  the  spirit  thou  hast  made : 
Still,  1  at  thy  footstool  keep, 
Pray  and  hope,  despair  and  wesp, 

Struggling  in  temptation's  snare, 

Lo !  I  ever  look  to  thee ; 
Tern  ted  more  than  I  can  bear? 
No,  my  soul,  it  cannot  be  : 
True  and  faithful  is  his  word, 
And  thy  sure  support,  the  Lord, 

Come  then,  O  my  Saviour,  come7 

God  of  truth,  no  longer  stay, 
God  of  love,  dispel  the  gloom, 
Point  me  out  the  promis'd  way; 
Let  me  from  the  trial  fly, 
Sink  into  thine  arms,  and  die. 

Waft  me  to  that  happy  shore, 

-  Port  of  ease,  and  end  of  care  ; 
All  my  storms  shall  there  be  o'er, 
Grief  shall  never  reach  me  there ; 
Surely  of  my  God  possest, 
Safe  in  my  Redeemer's  breast,     , 


Rise,  my  soul,  the  dawn  appears? 

Of  that  eternal  day  ; 
Quit,  in  hope,  the  vale  of  tears, 

And  mount,  and  soar  away  : 

Darting  thro'  this  lower  sphere,, 
Quick  as  a  seraphic  flame  : 

Rise  the  marriage  feast  to  share, 
Of  Moses  and  the  Lamb, 


POETRY.  269 


In  the  wedding  garb  of  love, 

By  heav'nly  pity  drest ; 
I  shall  soon  sit  down  above, 

At  the  celestial  feast : 

To  my  elder  brother  join"d, 

I  shall  there  my  partner  see  ; 
In  the  arms  of  Jesus  find 

The  soul  that  twin'd  with  me. 

There  we  shall  with  transport  meet, 
And  see  our  Saviour's  face 

Moses,  Jesus'  song  repeat, 
In  ecstacy  of  praise. 

Bright  as  his,  our  bodies  are, 
Like  the  head,  the  members  shine 

All  our  open  foreheads  bear, 
The  glorious  stamp  divine. 

With  the  high,  and  lofty  One, 
We  dwell  in  bliss  supreme ; 

Share  the  pleasures  of  his  throne. 
And  taste  the  chrystal  stream ; 

Banquet  on  angelic  food, 

Father,  Son,  and  Spirit  know; 

Drink  the  joys  that  flow  from  God, 
And  shall  for  ever  flow. 


A    FRAGMENT. 

Mist  with  the  guardian  jngels  bend 
The  heirs  of  glorious  grace; 

And  still,  like  them,  to  heaven  ascend. 
And  still  behold  thy  face. 

Happy,  might  T  the  grace  receive, 
Which  thy  true  w    i  iare; 

Will  God  in  close  coiriin  ni   a  lire 
A  life  of  faith  and  prayer. 


270  POETRY- 

In  thee  my  only  friend  confide. 

Delightfully  alone; 
And  desolate  with  thee  abide, 

'Till  all  my  course  be  run. 

Surely,  I  now  rely  on  thee, 
Within  thine  arms  I  am; 

And  trust,  the  glorious  face  to  seer 
Of  my  triumphant  Lamb. 

I  know  the  prayer  of  faith  is  heard; 

I  feel  the  answer  given ; 
And  haste,  by  holiness  prepar'd3 

To  meet  my  Lord  in  heaven. 


LETTER 


TO 


MRS.  GRANDIDIER 


St.  John's,  Antigua,  1775. 

MY    DEAR    MRS.  G , 

THE  long  and  steady  friendship  which  has  sub- 
sisted between  us,  in  sickness  and  in  health,  in  prospe- 
rity and  adversity,  ever  the  same  without  change  or 
diminution,  leaves  me  no  room  to  doubt,  that  it  will 
extend  to  my  little  family,  and  that  you  will  be  as 
ready,  to  the  utmost  of  your  power,  to  befriend  them, 
as  you  have  been  the  dear  father  already  gone,  and 
your  friend,  who  is,  perhaps,  about  to  follow. 

If  it  should  please  God  to  take  me  away  in  my  ap- 
proaching confinement,  I  leave  you  and  Capt.  G.  full 
power  to  do  with  and  dispose  of  every  thing  in  this 
house,  and  belonging  to  me  in  this  Island,  as  you  shall 
think  most  for  the  advantage  of  my  little  family.  You 
know  my  extreme  tenderness  for  their  dear  father 
made  me  unable  to  part  with  any  of  his  clothes, 
but  these  can  be  of  no  consequence  to  me  when  I 
shall  again  have  joined  him  for  whose  sake  I  kept 
them  ;  you  may  therefore  dispose  of  them,  and  also 
of  my  own,  if  you  think  what  they  will  fetch  will  be  of 
more  service  to  the  children.  But  I  do  not  choose  to 
leave  any  particular  directions  about  my  trifling  effects  ; 
you  will  consult  with  other  friends  ;  and  I  know,  I  am 


272  LETTERS. 

certain,  you  will  act  for  them  to  the  best  of  your  judg- 
ment. Jt  is  a  great  relief  to  my  mind  that  I  have  such 
steady  and  tried  friends  to  leave  the  charge  of  them 
upon.  Miss  G —  B.  has  promised  to  take  J — ,  and  it  is 
my  desire  that  the  others,  and  the  infant  yet  unborn, 
if  it  survive,  be  sent  to  my  father,  where  I  will  leave 
them  to  be  disposed  of,  and  provided  for  by  that  God 
who  has  fed  me  all  my  life;  by  their  heavenly  Father 
who  has  commanded  me  to  leave  my  fatherless  chil- 
dren upon  him,  that  he  will  preserve  them  alive,  and 
whose  promise  I  have,  that  he  will  never  leave  them 
nor  forsake  them. 

Mr.  Reid  will  not  be  less  kind  to  the  offspring  of  his 
friend,  when  they  have  lost,  than  when  they  were  un- 
der, a  mother's  protection.  May  the  blessing  of  the 
widow  and  the  fatherless  follow  him  wherever  he 
goes,  and  may  God  recompense  him  a  thousand  fold 
in,blessings  spiritual  and  temporal.  Let  Diana*  be  sent 
with  my  children ;  if  there  be  an  infant,  you  know  a 
nurse  must  be  found  for  it,  whatever  it  cost.  As  for 
Susan#,  I  am  at  a  loss  what  to  do  with  her,  my  heart 
tells  me  1  have  no  right  to  entail  slavery  upon  her  and 
her  offspring;  I  know  I  shall  be  blamed,  but  I  am  about 
to  be  called  to  account  by  a  higher  power  than  any  in 
this  world,  for  my  conduct,  and  I  dare  riot  allow  her 
to  be  sold.  I  therefore  leave  it  to  herself  either  to  re- 
main here,  or  if  it  be  her  desire,  to  accompany  the 
children.  I  beg  Mr.  Reid  will  be  kind  enough  to  allow 
her  a  passage  with  the  rest. 

And  now, 'my  dear  friend,  as  the  greatest  happiness 
I  can  wish  you,  may  that  God  whom  I  have  chosen  as 
my  own  portion,  be  yours  also  ;  may  he  by-  his  out-, 
ward  providence  and  by  the  inward  operations  of  his 

*  The  two  Indian  girls  mentioned  in  the  life  of  Mrs.  Graham. 


LETTERS.  273 

Spirit  on  your  heart  lead  you  to  himself  and  convince 
you  of  the  truth.  But  O  my  dear  :iiend,  shut  not 
your  eyes  and  ears  against  conviction :  you  are  not  sa- 
tisfied that  the  Bible  is  indeed  the  word  of  God.  Is  it 
not  worth  inquiring  into  ?  What  would  you  think  of  a 
man  who  had  a  large  fortune,  and  the  whole  depend- 
ing on  proving  some  certain  facts,  and  yet  would  not 
be  at  the  pains  to  inform  himself?  Are  the  interests  of 
this  world  of  such  importance,  which,  in  a  few  fleet- 
ing years  we  must  leave,- and  have  for  ever  done  with  ? 
and  our  final  state  in  the  next,  which  is  to  fix  us  in  hap- 
piness or  misery  through  the  endless  days  of  eternity, 
not  worth  a  thought !  Think  then,  and  seriously  ask 
what  if  it  be  so !  What  if  this  be  indeed  the  word  of 
God  o;iven  by  inspiration  as  is  said,  for  the  rule  of  both 
our  faith  and  manners,  and  by  that  we  are  to  be  judg- 
ed ;  that  this  same  God,  who  so  kindly  reveals  his  will 
to  men,  has  with  it  given  the  clearest  evidences  and 
strongest  proofs  that  it  is  his  own  word.  Think,  I  say, 
my  dear  friend,  if  it  should  be  so,  what  they  deserve, 
who  either  reject  or  neglect  it,  without  taking  the  trou- 
ble to  inform  themselves,  or  be  convinced  that  it  either 
is  or  is  not  of  divine  authority !  How  many  great, 
learned,  and  wise  men,  have  sifted  these  evidences  with 
the  greatest  care,  and  the  deeper  they  entered  into 
the  search,  the  more  clear  they  appeared  ;  yea,  even 
those  whose  lives  are  entirely  contrary  to  it,  and  whose 
interest  it  is  to  wish  it  false,  cannot  deny.  As  to  the 
various  explanations  of  it — it  is  every  one's  duty  to  read 
for  himself,  and  although  there  may  be  some  parts  of 
it  too  deep  for  every  capacity,  and  which  may  perhaps 
require  a  knowledge  of  the  history  of  the  times  to  un- 
derstand, vet  the  simple  truths  of  the  gospel,  what  we 
are  to  believe  concerning  God,  and  what  duties  he  re- 

'2  M 


274  "  LETTERS 

quires  of  us,  and  what  he  forbids,  are  equally  plain 
and  easy.  If  we  can  only  once  be  satisfied,  that  it  is 
indeed  the  word  of  God,  set  ourselves  to  study  it  with 
an  unprejudiced  mind,  with  a  sincere  desire  to  know 
the  truth,  and  be  led  by  it,  with  earnest  prayer,  that 
the  same  spirit  which  inspired  the  writers,  would  make 
it  plain  to  our  hearts  and  understandings,  that  God 
himself  would  teach  us  its  true  meaning,  and  save  us 
from  error  :  such  a  one,  I  will  venture  to  say,  will  be 
taught  all  necessary  knowledge,  will  be  led  in  the  way 
to  eternal  life,  and  not  suffered  to  err :  we  have  God's 
promise  that  it  shall  be  so.  If  any  man  will  do  my  will 
he  shall  know  of  the  doctrine  whether  it  be  of  God. 

Forgive  me,  my  dear  friend ;  the  subject  appears  to 
me  so  important,  that  I  know  not  how  to  have  done. 
I  love  you  with  a  true,  and  sincere  friendship;  I 
love  your  soul,  and  am  deeply  interested  in  its  eter- 
nal happiness.  Once  more  I  commit  you  to  that 
God,  who  only  can  lead  you  to  himself,  and  to  true 
happiness,  and  that  you  may  know  the  truth  of  this 
from  deep  experience,  to  the  eternal  joy,  peace  and 
safety  of  your  immortal  soul,  is  the  last  prayer  of 
your  affectionate  friend,  who  hopes  to  meet  and  re- 
joice with  you  in  our  Redeemer's  kingdom. 

ISABELLA  GRAHAM, 


EXTRACTS 

OP 

LETTERS  TO  P— , 

Chiefly  written  ivhen  she  was  in  affliction  < 


February  10,  1797. 

MY    EVER    DEAR    FRIEND, 

THE  desire  of  writing  you  a  long  letter  has 
occasioned  a  shameful  delay  on  my  part.  One  thing  I 
can  assure  you  of,  you  have  been  much  on  my  mind, 
and  the  subject  of  all  our  prayers. 

Tears  of  joy  ran  down  my  cheeks,  when  J — ■ —  told 
me  the  state  of  your  mind,  and  I  thank  our  good  and 
gracious  God  for  opening  your  eyes  to  see  the  empti- 
ness, the  vanity  of  this  world,  the  corruption  of  your 
own  heart,  your  need  of  the  atoning  blood,  and  a  bet- 
ter righteousness  than  your  own.  Hail,  my  sister 
in  Jesus  !  flesh  and  blood  hath  not  taught  you  this,  but 
your  Father  who  is  in  heaven ;  the  work  is  his,  evi- 
dently his ;  and  being  begun,  he  will  carry  it  on,  and 
finish  it  too.  Commit  your  soul  then  into  his  hand ; 
he  came  not  to  call  the  righteous,  but  simicrs  to  repent- 
ance ;  his  errand  to  our  world  was  to  seek  and  to  save 
the  lost.  Trusting  in  his  mercy,  through  Christ,  your 
soul  is  as  safe  as  his  word  is  true,  for  none  perish  that 
trust  in  him.      Trust  in  the  Lord  with  all  thine  heart,  and 


27(5  LETTERS. 

Iran  not  to  thine  own  understanding  ;  be  not  discouraged-, 
because  of  deadness,  darkness,  wandering,  want  of  love. 
Want  of  spirituality,  want  of  any  kind ;  who  told  you 
of  these  evils  and  wants  ?  the  sun  of  righteousness 
shining  into  your  soul  has  shown  you  many  of  the  evils 
there,  but  the  half  you  know  not  yet  The  more  you. 
learn  of  the  holiness  and  purity  of  tho  divine  nature, 
and  spirituality  of  his  law,  the  more  you  will  be  dissa- 
tisfied with  cyerj  thing  yours.  Even  a  holy  Apostle 
sa?d — in  me  (that  is,  in  my  flesh  or  natural  mind)  dwellcth 
no  good  thing.  The  flesh  or  natural  mind  lusteth 
against  the  Spirit,  and  the  Spirit  against  the  flesh,  so 
that  the  things  that  I  ivoidd  I  do  not,  and  the  things 
what  I  would  not  that  I  do.  Yet  it  is  not  I  (not  my  new 
nature)  but  sin  that  dwdleth  in  me  ;  for  to  will  is  pre- 
sent with  me,  out  how  to  perform  that  which  is  good  I 
find  not. 

If  this  was  the  case  with  the  Apostle,  who  sealed 
his  testimony  with  his  life,  is  It  strange  that  you  and  I 
should  have  hearts  full  of  all  abominable  things.  These* 
realities  are  cause  of  deep  humility  before  God,  but 
none  of  despair  or  doubt,  all  are  guilty  and  vile  alike^ 
the  whole  head  is  sick,  and  the  whole  heart  unsound  : 
therefore  we  need  a  whole  Christ,  to  atone  for  our 
sin,  to  cover  our  naked  souls  with  his  imputed  right- 
eousness, and  to.be  surety  for  us  ;  to  sanctify  us  by  his 
Spirit,  and  prepare  us  for  the  purchased,  inheritance. 
O  try  to  rest  in  him  :  believe^  it,  you  are  complete  in 
him  ;  give  over,  my  dear  friend,  poring  and  diving;  into 
your  own  heart  and  frames,  and  try  to  trust  in  an  al- 
mighty  Saviour,  to -save  you  from  foes  without 'and 
foes  within.  Read  Ptomaine's  walk  and  life  of  Faith  : 
he  himself  attained  to  a  high  degree  of  holiness,  by 
getting  out  of  himself,  and  trusting,  resting,  believing 


LETTERS.  27? 

from  day  to  day,  for  grace,  for  every  duty,  as  it  oc- 
curred. The  promise  runs,  as  thy  day  so  shall  thy 
strength  be. 

I  cannot  at  this  distance,  and  knowing  nothing  of 
characters,  offer  you  any  advice  with  respect  to  out- 
ward means;  but  if  you  know  any  truly  pious,  spirit- 
ual minister,  I  should  think  it  your  duty  to  lay  open 
your  mind  to  him.  You  may  find  in  books  matter  as 
good  as  any  man  living  can  speak ;  but  it  is  the  Lord's 
appointed  way,  and  he  often  honours  his  servants,  his 
ministers,  by  making  them  messengers  of  peace  and 
comfort  to  his  children.  Are  any  sick,  let  them  call  for 
the  elders  of  the  church,  and  let  them  pray  over  them.  See 
how  the  Christians  of  old  associated  with  one  another  ! 
I  am  now  doubly  yours,  &c. 

J.  G. 


March,  1799. 

MY  EVER  DEAR  FRIEND, 

I  have  just  read  your  letter;  painful  to  you  to 
write,  yet  no  more  so  to  me,  than  to  see  a  dear  friend 
in  the  pangs  of  child-birth,  with  every  symptom  of  an 
approaching  deliverance.  The  day  wil  soon  break, 
and  the  shadows  flee  away ;  and  the  dear  Saviour 
whom  you  seek,  will  again  comfort  his  returning  pro- 
digal. 

I  will  do  what  you  desire  me,  and  though  I  have 
the  highest  opinion  of  our  young  Timothy  1.  M.  I  will 
pass  by  him,  in  this  case,  and  lay  it  before  ©ne  of  the 
aged  Christians,  Dr.  R — rs,  or  Dr.  L — n ;  at  the  same 
time,  my  friend,  I  am  as  sure  of  their  answer,  as  if  I 
were  already  in  possession  of  it.     Who  told  my  friend. 


278  LETTER*. 

that  she  was  blind,  and  miserable,  and  wretched,  and 
naked :  flesh  and  blood  nerer  yet  taught  proud  man 
or  woman  this  lesson. 

My  dear  friend,  there  is  nothing  new,  nor  strange, 
in  all  you  have  told  me :  there  is  scarce  a  heaven- 
taught  soul,  who  has  made  any  advances  in  the  spirit- 
ual warfare,  but  could  sympathize  with  you. from  ex- 
perience. What  have  you  experienced  more  than  the 
Scriptures  tell  us  ?  that  the  heart  is  deceitful  above  all 
things,  and  desperately  wicked.  Only  the  Lord  can 
search  it,  only  he  can  cleanse  it.  He  takes  the  prero- 
gative to  himself,  and  he  calls  it  his  Covenant  that  he 
will  make  with  sinners  in  gospel  times.  You  may 
strive  and  fight,  and  resolve  and  vow — all  will  not  do : 
you  lie  at  his  mercy  for  holiness,  as  well  as  pardon. 
He  is  exalted  as  a  prince  to  give  repentance,  and  he  is 
the  author  and  finisher  of  faith.  He  works  all  Our 
works  in  us,  and  without  him  we  are  not  equal  to  one 
good  thought.  We  are  his  workmanship,  created  anew 
in  Christ  Jesus.  My  dear  friend,  put  the  work  into  his 
hand,  and  try  to  wait  in  hope,  hope  in  every  situation ; 
do  more,  trust 

You  entirely  mistake  the  situation  of  others;  none 
of  us  have  our  heaven  here :  no,  sin  dwelleth  in  us ; 
the  very  best  have  their  lips  and  downs.  Do  you 
think  your  friend  is  always  on  the  -mount  ?  very  far 
from  it.  I  am  at  times,  so  cold,  so  dead,  so  stupid, 
that  I  can  neither  pray,  read,  nor  hear.  I  have  begun 
the  same  chapter  over  and  over,  still  trying  to  fix  my 
thoughts,  and  as  often  they  are  off  on  every  trifle; 
but  my  peace  lies  where  you  will  soon  learn  to  place 
yours,  in  the  merits  of  my  almighty  Saviour;,  my  safe- 
ty depends  not  on  my  frames,  but  his  promise;  and  I 
am  equally  safe  when  tossed  and  tempted ;  dead  and 


LETTERS.  273 

lifeless ;  emptied  of  every  good,  perhaps  buffeted 
like  you  with  abominable  thoughts,  the  fiery  darts  of 
Satan,  as  when  basking  in  the  sunshine  of  His  love, 
and  tasting  what  you  have  tasted :  for  you  have  tast- 
ed, and  you  shall  yet  taste,  the  joys  of  his  salvation. 
I  too  have  proved  false  to  his  Covenant,  have  gone 
off  with  the  world,  and  been  intoxicated  with  its 
vanities,  and  empty  delights,  and  have  laid  up  for 
myself  seasons  of  deep  remorse;  my  sins  have  often 
separated  between  my  God  and  me,  especially  in  my 
younger  days;  the  Lord  calls  to  watchfulness  and 
diligence  in  the  use  of  means,  and  he  generally 
honours  these  means,  of  his  own  appointing,  with  his 
blessing.  When  we  either  trust  to  these  means,  and 
fancy  merit  in  them,  or  neglect  to  use  them  as  his 
appointment,  he  generally  makes  us  to  feel  our  error, 
but  he  does  not  cast  us  out  of  his  family :  he  chastens 
us,  and  restores  us. 

I  write  hastily,  just  to  say  you  have  my  sympathy 
and  my  love;  for  well  I  know,  the  almighty  Lord 
alone  can  loose  your  bonds,  and  give  you  joy  and 
peace  in  believing.  All  my  advice  may  be  summed 
up  in  this — trust  in  the  Lord  with  all  your  heart;  at 
least  aim  at  this ;  I  say  aim  at  it,  for  this  too  must  be 
given  you.  Roll  yourself,  your  doubts,  your  fears, 
your  sins,  your  duties,  all,  all  on  him;  your  deadness, 
your  dryness,  all  on  him:  say,  Lord  I  believe,  help 
my  unbelief.  He  is  an  almighty  Saviour  to  deliver 
sinners  from  sin  as  well  as  from  punishment.  I  leave 
you  on  the  Father  of  mercies,  and  will,  when  the 
•Lord  enables,  pray  for  you. 

Yours,  Sec. 


280  .  LETTERS. 

At  last,  my  dear  friend,  the  Lord  appears ;  appears 
the  bible  God.  The  Lord  God,  merciful  and  gracious, 
long-suffering,  abundant  in  goodness  and  truth,  keeping 
mercy  for  thousands,  forgiving  iniquity,  transgression, 
and  sin. 

When  was  it,  that  the  Lord  proclaimed  this,  and 
took  unto  himself  this  name  ?  After  Israel,  his  chosen, 
had  been  guilty  of  that  awful  sin  in  the  wilderness,  of 
making  the  golden  calf,  and  proclaiming,  these  be  thy 
gods,  O  Israel:  David  "takes  it  up  in  the  ciii  Psalm, 
The  Lord  is  merciful  and  gracious,  slow  to  anger,  and 
plenteous  in  mercy. — Read  on,  my  dear,  then  turn  to  the 
cxxx ;  this  God  is  yourGod,and  has  long  been  your 
God ;  his  work  was  upon  your  heart,  though  you 
could  not  discern  it.  In  bondage  you  have  long  been, 
but  not  a  willing  captive ;  unbelief  kept  you  in  bond- 
age, long,  long  after  your  eyes  were  opened  to  see 
your  bondage ;  and  even  to  discern,  in  some  feeble 
measure,  your  remedy.  .  My  dear,  the  Lord  has  wise 
reasons  for  all  you  have  suffered  :  if  not  now,  you 
shall  in  some  after  time,  know  and  consider*  all  the  way 
by  which  he  has  led  you,  to.  prove  you,  to  try  you,  and 
shew  you  what  teas  in  your  heart,  that  he  might  do  you 
good  in  your  latter  end.  You  did  not  wait  patiently 
for  the  Lord  your  God ;  you  did  not  in  ■  general  say, 
though  he  slay  me,  I  will  trust  in  him— no ;  my  friend 
has  been  a  great  unbeliever,  yet  hath  the  Lord,  the 
sovereign  Lord,  whose  ways  are  not  as  our  ways,  nor  his 
thoughts  as  our  thoughts,  brought  you  out  of  a  fearful 
pit,  and  out  of  the  miry  clay  ;  set  your  feet  upon  a  rock, 
and  established  your  goings  ;  put  a  new  song  into  your 
mouth,  even  praise  vnto  our  God.  Now  you  sing  the 
xxxiv  Psalm.  I  do  rejoice  with  my  friend;  I  do 
bless  the  Lord  with  her;,  let  us  exalt  his  name  toge- 


LETTERS.  281 

ther.  It  is  establishing  to  my  own  soul.  I  have  long 
prayed,  and  long  looked  for  this  :  I  lived  in  the  faith 
of  it :  assured  that  he  who  had  begun  the  good  work 
would  perfect  it  in  his  own  time. 

I  cannot  but  regret  your  want  of  pastoral  food  ; 
yet  ought  I  to  regret  any  thing  ?  the  Lord  himself  is 
your  Shepherd  ;  my  bible  lies  on  my  lap.  I  had  turned 
to  the  xxxiv  Psalm,  to  know  if  it  contained  what  I 
would  point  out  to  you ;  on  finishing  the  last  verse, 
I  unconsciously  turned  my  eye  on  the  bible ;  the  words 
that  met  it  were  in  the  xxxii  Psalm,  8th  verse,  /  will 
instruct  thee,  and  teach  thee  in  the  way  that  thou  shalt 
go  :  I  will  guide  thee  with  mine  eye.  And  so  it  shall  be. 
Amen,  my  God,  amen.     Do  as  thou  hast  said. 

Perhaps,  my  friend,  by  this  time  your  notes  are  low- 
ered. It  has  pleased  the  Lord  to  give  you  a  strange 
sight :  Mary  Magdalene,  a  great  sinner  at  the  feet 
of  Jesus,  pardoned,  comforted,  and  highly  honoured 
in  after  life.  This  history,  accompanied  by  the  Spirit 
of  God,  has  consoled,  strengthened,  and  raised  up 
many  bowed  down  since  that  day;  many  now  around 
the  throne,  who  sing  of  pardoning  love. 

I  now  wish  to  say,  hold  fast  the  beginning  of  your 
confidence.  Your  exercise  is  that  of  God's  people. 
To  rejoice  in  the  Lord  at  all  times  is  your  privilege, 
but  will  not  be  always  your  attainment.  The  Lord 
has  done  great  things  for  you,  whereof  I  am  glad  : 
but,  my  dear  friend,  the  warfare  is  not  over,  you  must 
endure  trials  as  others;  engage  with  principalities  and 
powers,  and  spiritual  wickedness  in  high  places,  and, 
worst  of  all,  a  treacherous  heart  within :  which,  for  all 
that  it  has  seen  and  tasted,  is  yet  corrupt  and  deceitful : 
the  new  life  which  Christ  gives  to  the  soul,  evidences 
itself  in   the   desires  of  the  heart  and   affections.     As 

2N 


282  LETTERS. 

certainly  as  the  new-born  babe  desires  the  breast,  as 
certainly,  and  as  evidently  does  the  new-born  sou! 
desire  union  to  God,  communion  with  and  conformity 
to  him,  in  heart,  life,  and  conversation.  This  princi- 
ple is  in  its  own  nature  perfectly  pure,  but  the  old  na- 
ture, the  law  in  the  spiritual  members,  is  as  perfectly 
corrupt ;  in  my  flesh  dwelleth  no  good  thing. 

In  the  order  of  God's  Covenant,  it  has  not  pleased 
him  to  deliver  even  believers,  all  at  once,  from  sinful  in- 
clinations and  passions  ;  he  hath  provided  for  their  final 
complete  deliverance,  and  sin  shall  not  have  dominion 
over  them  even  here  ;  but  it  is  still  in  them  while  in  the 
body,  and  a  dyin<*  body ;  and  the  remains  of  sin  in  the 
soul,  make  the  believer's  life  a  warfare,  and  this 
world  a  wilderness ;  soul  and  body  are  diseased ;  both 
are  redeemed,  and  provision  made  for  the  entire  deli- 
verance of  both ;  for  the  soul  at  death,  for  the  body 
at  the  resurrection  ;  but  while  in  the  body,  1  John,  1, 
8.  if  dny  man  say  he  has  no  sin,  he  deceiveth  himself, 
and  the  truth  is  not  in  him.  Look  at  Paul's  experience— 
what  does  he  say  of  the  believer's  stale  ?  a  warfare,  a 
fight,  a  captivity  for  a  time :  see  1  Timothy,  vi.  xii. 
1  Corinthians,  ix.  xxyi. 

I  write  not  thus  to  dishearten  you,  but  as  a  friend  I 
warn  you,  lest  you  fall  again  into  unbelief.  Look  not 
within  for  comfort,  for  consolation,  for >  confidence:. 
Christ  is  the  end  of  the  law  for  righteousness  ;  his  blood 
the  atonement,  and  you  are  complete  in  him,  his  grace 
is  sufficient  for  you,  his  strength  shall  be  perfected  in 
your  weakness,  and  you  shall  go  on.  Grieve  for  sin 
you  will,  grieve  you  ought ;  but  keep  ever  in  your  re- 
membrance 1  John  ii.  1.  v,  11. 

Yours,  <fec. 


LETTERS.  283 

December  22,  1801. 

I  dedicate  the  first  of  my  temporal  labours,  on  re- 
turning health,  to  my  dear  P — .  Our  Father's  rod 
has  been  upon  your  friend  and  her  family.  I  suppose 
by  this  time,  through  Miss  P — ,  to  whom  I  mentioned 
the  circumstance,  you  have  heard  that  it  has  pleased 
God  to  remove  our  dear  I.  S —  ;  the  stroke  has  been 
severely  felt  ;  she  was  one  of  those  fascinating  chil- 
dren who  lay  hold  of  every  heart,  at  first  sight,  and 
having  been  long  sickly,  was  become  a  little  old  wo- 
man in  sense  ;  pity  and  compassion  for  her  sufferings, 
alternate  hopes  and  fears  for  the  issue,  all  tended  to 
endear  the  little  Syren,  and  tighten  the  cord  of  af- 
fection. The  stroke  after  all  came  unexpected.  She 
had  a  gentle  passage,  and  is  now  a  member  of  that 
kingdom  of  little  children  whom  Christ  pronounced 
blessed. 

I  was  reading  this  day  some  of  the  first  chapters  of 
Matthew — John  the  Baptist  made  his  appearance  in 
the  wilderness  ;  he  was  clothed  with  skins,  his  meat 
was  locusts  and  wild  honey.  When  he  had  delivered 
his  message  for  an  appointed  time,  he  was  cast  into 
prison,  and  then  beheaded.  This  led  my  mind  to 
think  of  all  God's  favourites,  how  very  few  had  any 
comfort  on  earth. 

What  a  trying  life  Moses  had,  Aaron  little  better; 
David,  though  a  king,  was  a  man  of  deep  affliction. 
Jeremiah  was  cast  into  a  dungeon,  and  for  many  days 
sunk  deep  in  mire  ;  his  whole  life,  a  life  of  contest. 
All  Christ's  Apostles  were  driven  from  city  to  city, 
often  in  want  of  the  necessaries  of  life,  and  all  but 
one  were  put  to  death  for  their  testimony. 

Jesus  himself  was  a  man  of  sorrows,  his  visage  mar- 
red with  grief.     He,    even  He,  was  made  perfect  by 


2tt4  LETTERS. 

suffering.  We  are  apt  to  think  we  could  have  suffered 
any  thing  but  this.  Of  all  crosses,  this  is  the  heaviest 
for  one  of  my  temper,  strength,  and  former  habits  of 
life.  It  may  be  so,  and  yet  exactly  that  which  is  cal- 
culated to  promote  our  best  interest.  O  for  faith  in 
the  wisdom  of  God,  and  in  the  love  of  God,  and  for 
patience  to  endure  unto  the  end  !  To  suffer  the  will 
of  God,  is  yet  more  honourable,  than  to  do  the  will  oi 
God  in  prosperous  circumstances. 

When  I  was  with  my  friend,  she  was  wont  to  say, 
"  I  must  just  lie  at  the  fountain,  I  make  no  progress." 
My  dear,  I  must  ever,  ever,  back  to  that  fountain.  I 
desire  to  be  found  there  at  the  moment  when  his  word 
shall  command  my  soul  into  his  presence.  Every  re- 
view I  take  of  my  past  life,  I  find  more  and  more  to 
repent  of,  and  every  day  furnishes  fresh  matter  for  that 
exercise.  I  feel  like  Noah's  dove,  no  rest  for  the  sole 
of  my  foot  out  of  that  ark.  I  have  been  blessed  with 
thousands  and  ten  thousands  of  mercies,  which  have 
been  marked  with  as  many  millions  of  marks  of  ingra- 
titude. I  have  back-si idden,  and  been  restored  times 
without  number,  and  still  my  heart  turns  aside  like  a 
deceitful  bow.  Great  and  numerous  have  been  my 
opportunities  of  serving  my  God  in  my  day  and  gene- 
ration ;  but  O  woful,  woful,  has  been  my  misimprove- 
ment !  Many  cf  my  friends  think  I  have  ;done  well : . 
but  they  see  not  as. God  sees  ;  they  see  not  as  God  has 
made  myself  to  see,  and  I  see  not  the  thousandth  part 
of  the  heinousness  and  the  aggravation  of  my  trans- 
gressions, and  yet  after  all  I  dare  look  up.  I  can  be 
but  the  chief  of  sinners,  and  for  such  Christ  died.  He 
died  for  the  ungodly.  All  without  exception  are  invit- 
ed to  take  refuge  in  his  atoning  sacrifice  and  meritori- 
ous life.     In  all  my  life,  I  have  not  done   one  single 


LETTERS.  285 

deed  that  will  bear  being  weighed  in  the  balance  of 
the  sanctuary.  But  in  God's  gift,  Christ  Jesus,  I  have 
a  complete  righteousness  ;  here  is  my  whole  and  my 
sole  dependence;  in  this  dependence  I  dare  face  my 
Judge,  and  no  other. 

Here  is  the  same  dependence  for  you,  my  friend  ; 
and  although  your  faith  be  but  a  trembling  hope,  if  you 
have  no  other,  it  is  a  safe  hope.  I  know  it  is  your  de- 
sire, as  it  is  mine,  to  live  to  Him  who  died  for  us,  to 
be  delivered  from  indwelling  sin  and  corruption,  and  to 
be  conformed  to  the  image  of  our  dear  Lord.  This  is 
done  in  part,  it  will  go  on,  and  in  due  time  shall  be 
perfected  ;  but  it  is  God's  way,  that  the  more  we  ad- 
vance in  conformity  to  God's  law,  the  more  he  en- 
lightens in  the  nature,  extent,  and  spirituality  of  it ; 
and  the  more  he  opens  to  view  the  deceitfulness  of  the 
heart,  so  as  to  keep  his  children  humble,  and  pressing 
forward. 

I  do  desire  never  to  be  satisfied  with  myself,  but  ever 
to  see  so  much  of  God's  law  and  my  own  heart,  as  to 
reckon  myself  the  chief  of  sinners  and  the  least  of 
saints;  but  I  desire  to  be  full  of  confidence  in  Christ: 
here  1  cannot  err,  all  the  promises  are  free  to  every 
one  trusting  in  Christ.  Eternal  life  is  a  free  gift — 
comfort,  steadfastness,  and  high  degrees  of  sanctifi- 
cation,  it  hath  pleased  God  to  make  dependent  on  our 
faith,  and  diligence  in  the  use  of  means.  When  I  say 
faith,  I  mean  faith  in  exercise,  watchfulness,  prayer, 
reading,  &c.  but  the  gift  of  eternal  life  is  free,  the 
sole  purchase  of  another ;  and  when  we  take  hold  of 
God's  Covenant,  he  will  keep  hold  of  us,  by  disci- 
pline, if  need  be. 


286  LETTERS. 

January  14,  1800* 
My  dear  friend  says,  "  O  that  I  could  have  the  socie-* 
ty  of  some  aged,  pious  Clergyman  or  Christian,  who 
had  gone  through  his  warfare."  O  that  you  could,  in 
the  Lord's  hand  !  I  hope  it  might  do  you  good ;  yet, 
after  all,  the  Lord  himself  must  loose  your  bonds  ;  aye, 
and  he  will,  and  also  appoint  the  means. 

There  are  two  kinds  of  rest  awaiting  you,  the  one 
in  this  life,  the  other  will  not  be  attained  'till  the  mor- 
tal shall  put  on  immortality.  When  was  it  that  Paul, 
the  great  Apostle,  could  say  he  had  fought  the  good 
fight  ?  not  'till  he  could  also  say,  he  had  finished  his 
course,  and  was  ready  to  be  offered  up  ;  'till  then,  he 
like  others,  had  to  continue  the  warfare  between  grace 
and  corruption  ;  like  others,  found  a  law  in  his  mem- 
bers warring  against  the  law  of  his  mind,  so  that  the 
thing  that  he  would  he  did  not,  and  that  which  he 
wrould  not,  that  he  did.  Notwithstanding,  there  is  a 
blessed  rest  attainable  here,  rest  from  the  fear  of  wrath 
and  hell ;  a  rest  in  Christ  as  our  atonement,  our  surety, 
our  complete  righteousness,  our  title  to  eternal  life, 
and  all  the  grace  necessary  to  fit  us  for  it.  This  is 
the  work  of  faith,  or  rather  this  is  faith  itself.  The 
soul  established  in  this,  can  rest  in  all  possible  circum- 
stances, it  depends  not  on  its  frames ;  in  darkness, 
when  it  is  tossed,  tempted,  dead,  worldly-minded, 
wandering,  unfit  for  any  duty,  conscious  of  the  raging 
of  unhallowed  tempers,  perhaps  of  the  actual  com- 
mission of  sin,  though  at  such  times,  the  warfare  be- 
tween grace  andxorruption  is  so  strong,  as  to  make  the 
Christian  exclaim,  "  O  wretched  man  that  I  am,  who 
shall  deliver  me  from  this  body  of  sin  and  death;"  he 
can  still  say,  "  the  Lord  lives,  blessed  be  my  rock  :" 
see  the  xlii  and  xliii  Psalms.     The  Christian  can  still 


LETTERS.  287 

say,  my  Lord  and  my  God  ;  he  is  sure  the  conflict  will 
end,  and  that  his  God  will  bring  good  out  of  it ;  he 
enjoys  hope  ;  he  feels  his  state  as  safe  as  in  the  most 
enlarged  frame  of  mind,  when  he  can  pray,  praise, 
love,  rejoice.  This  is  a  riddle  which  only  Christians 
can  understand,  and  even  they  require  many  lessons  to 
comprehend  it,  many  more  to  practise. 

Have  you  Newton's  letters  ?  See  his  2d  letter  in  Car- 
diphonia.  O  try  to  hx  your  anchor  of  hope  on  that 
sure  foundation  which  God  has  laid  in  Zion — Christ 
himself.  Trust  him  to  save  you  from  every  evil  with- 
out you,  and  within  you.  When  your  own  weakness 
sinks  you,  try  to  be  strong  in  his  strength  ;  when  guilt 
disturbs,  wash  in  the  open  fountain.  But  hold  fast  the 
beginning  of  your  confidence  unto  the  end. 

Be  comforted,  fight  on,  aim  at  trusting,  and  you 
shall  in  the  Lord's  time  also  cease  from  your  own 
works,  and  rest  with  more  advanced  Christians  on  the 
faithfulness  of  your  own  God  in  Christ.  See  Hebrews 
iv.  9.  also  chap.  xii.  throughout.  I  finish  with  chap, 
xiii.  20, 21.  My  earnest  prayer,  and  sure  hope,  for  you 
my  precious  friend  ! 


November  28,  1804. 
My  dear  friend's  letter  is  truly  in  the  Pilgrim's  style. 
O  that  slough  of  despond,  to  the  end  of  which  you 
have  not  got !  It  is  hard  for  you  to  believe  that  your 
compassionate  Redeemer  stands  by  and  sees,  with 
power  to  relieve,  but  does  not,  and  yet  loves  you  bet- 
ter than  you  love  yourself.  Alas,  poor  pilgrim  !  yet 
pilgrim  you  are,  and  shall  have  a  pilgrim's  portion. 
The  Lord   knows  all  your  troubles  and  perplexities  : 


288  LETTERS. 

you  are  bound  to  believe  that  the  very  hairs  of  your 
head  are  numbered.  Often,  my  dear,  think  on  the  suf- 
fering life  your  Redeemer  led  on  earth,  and  all  the 
apostles  and  prophets.  You  are  not  to  have  your 
portion  in  this  world ;  and  you  are  to  be  tried  and 
purified  in  the  school  of  affliction.  Say,  would  you 
exchange  with  those  who  are  at  ease  ?     I  hope  not. 

Christian  left  a  jovial  company  behind  him,  in  the 
valley  of  destruction :  but,  O  the  difference  in  the 
end !    and,  my  dear  friend,  the  end  will  soon  come. 

0  try  to  cast  your  soul,  your  body,  your  temporal  and 
your  spiritual  concerns,  your  husband,  your  children, 
your  all,  on  a  God  of  rich  grace.  It  will  soon  be 
over,  even  at  the  worst.  As  to  your  children  :  it  may 
be  in  great  mercy,  that  the  Lord  keeps  from  them  the 
means  of  being  fitted  for  gay  life;  sure  am  I,  happi- 
ness does  not  depend  on  any  style  of  living.  Ask  for 
them  the  provision  of  the  new  Covenant,  and  that  lot 
in  life  which  God  sees  most  to  their  eternal  interest. 

Gladly  would  I  spend  part  of  the  winter  with  you; 
and  could  with  pleasure,  and  without  suffering,  sleep 
in  a  room  without  fire,  and. share  in  all  your  troubles : 
but  I  dare  not  leave  my  post ;  I  desire  to  trudge  along 
by  the  king's  high-way  of  duty,  to  the  habitation 
which    the    Lord    my    God    has    provided    for    me. 

1  am  not  my  own.  I  too  am  under  trial ;  few  days 
pass  over  my  head,  which  does  not  witness  many  tears. 
I  look  not  for  comfort  in  this  world,  but  I  have  com- 
fort in  the  prospect  of  another. 

I  long  to  hear  from  you,  if  you  enjoy  health,  if  the 
children  do ;  above  all,  if  you  attain  to  any  measure  of 
resignation,  any  measure  of  confidence  and  hope 
through  faith  in  the  Redeemer's  righteousness.  Aim 
at  k,  my  dear  friend ;   call  him  your  Lord,  and  your 


LETTERS*  289 

God,  your  Husband,  your  Friend ;  pour  all  your  com- 
plaints into  his  bosom;  groan,  sigh,  on  your  knees, 
and  plead  for  patience  and  resignation  under  the  cross, 
strength  and  fortitude,  to  carry  it  all  the  length  he  has 
appointed.  Cast  your  burden  on  the  Lord,  and  try  to 
leave  it  there.  Essay  to  go  forth  to  the  laborious  duty 
he  has  been  pleased  to  call  you  to,  with  cheerfulness, 
and  alacrity.  Go,  depending  on  strength  being  com- 
municated from  hour  to  hour ;  look  for  it,  and  go  for- 
ward in  the  faith  of  it. 


Greenwich,  September  26,   1805. 

MY  DEAR  FRIEND, 

I  arrived  here  on  Monday.  I  found  my  children  in 
health,  but  much  affected  with  the  death  of  the  amia- 
ble youth  M —  and  the  melancholy  situation  of  his  be- 
reaved parents. 

The  epidemic  spreads  over  the  city  in  every  direc- 
tion, among  the  few  remaining  in  it:  all  the  public 
offices  are  here;  crowds  of  the  cilizens,  and  houses 
and  stores  spring  up  in  a  day :  all  is  bustle  and  con- 
fusion, and  all  seem  mad  on  business. 

Parting  with  my  dear  friend,  was  most  painful ;  so 
painful  that  nothing  could  alleviate,  but  the  presence 
of  my  own  children;  who,  could  there  have  been 
room,  from  deeper  sorrows,  would  have  shared  it  with 
me.  O  that  I  could  put  my  God,  in  my  place,  in  your 
heart !  What  are  earthly  friends  ?  How  few  are 
steady  against  all  change  of  circumstances  ?  of  these 
few,  fewer  still  have  it  in  their  power  to  supply  the  every 
link  of  friendship's  chain;  a  thousand  unforeseen  inci- 
dents disappoint  their  wishes,  and  frustrate  their  hopes? 

2  O 


290  LETTERS', 

rendering  abortive  their  greatest  exertions.  But  there 
is  a  friend,  every  where  present,  thoroughly  acquaint- 
ed with  every  circumstance  of  the  heart,  and  of  the 
life ;  all  powerful  to  relieve,  whose  love  is  invariable, 
and  ever  the  most  tender,  when  every  other  friend 
stands  aloof;  a  friend  in  adversity,  a  Friend  ivho  stick- 
eth  closer  than  a  brother,  whose  love  surpasseth  the 
love  of  women.  This  friend  receiveth  sinners — casts 
out  none  who  come  to  him.  He  was  never  known  to 
disappoint  the  hopes  of  any  poor  sinner.  He  receives 
them  into  his  heart;  he  takes  all  their  burthens  and 
cares  on  himself,  pays  all  their  debts,  answers  all  de- 
mands against  them,  and  is  every  way  surety  for  them : 
they  become  his  own,  no  one  has  any  thing  to  say  to 
them,  but  himself.  He  knows  them — how  apt  to  err, 
to  wander,  yea,  to  forget  him,  and  prove  ungrateful; 
all  this  he  knows,  but  he  has  made  provision  for  all* 
He  has  a  rod,  and  he  will  subdue  their  iniquities.  He 
will  heal, their  backslidings,  he  will  bring  back  and 
restore  his  wanderers.  He  will  in  due  time  perfect 
what  concerns  them,  and  present  them  to  his  Father 
purified,  without  spot  or  wrinkle. 

In  the  mean  time,  he  requires  them  '  to  confide  in 
him ;  to  go  up  through  this  wilderness  leaning  upon 
him ;  to  tell  him  all  their  complaints  and  griefs,  and  to 
comfort  themselves;  and  he  will  impress  the  comfort, 
by  means  of  his  great  and  precious  promises,  scattered 
like  so  many  pearls  through  his  sacred  Bible,  tabled 
there,  on  purpose  for  us  to  ground  our  prayers  upon, 
and  delight  ourselves  in.  This  is  your  friend's 
Friend,  and  often  thousand  beside.  This  was  the 
wicked  Magdalene's  Friend;  this,  the  persecuting 
Paul's  Friend,  wicked  Manasseh's  Friend;  the  adul- 
terous murdering  David's  Friend.      And  he  is  your 


LETTERS.  21)  I 

Friend,  though  your  eyes  are  holden  that  you  see  him 
not.  He  is  leading  you  by  a  way  that  you  know  not. 
This  is  one  of  his  characters,  /  will  bring  the  blind  by  a 
way  that  they  know  not. 

I  was  happy  to  find  your  niece  was  to  return  with 
Mr.  P — ;  but,  my  dear,  a  painful  dread  has  assaulted 
my  peace,  lest  Satan  get  the  advantage  by  means  of 
a  stranger  in  the  family,  and  undo  what  has  been 
begun.  The  world  may  have  peace  without  God; 
but  you  shall  not.  You  have,  however  feebly,  taken 
hold  of  his  Covenant,  and  he  will  keep  you  to  your 
choice.  If  his  children  forsake  his  laws,  and  go  astray. 
he.     Psalm  lxxix.  30. 


November^  1305. 

JSIY  DEAR  FRIEND, 

This  is  not  our  rest :  through  much  tribulation 
all  Christ's  disciples  must  follow  him.  There  is  a  rest 
prepared  for  the  people  of  God,  as  far  as  tasted  in  this 
world,  (and  in  this  world  it  is  tasted :)  it  consists  in  a 
mind  resigned  to  the  will  of  God,  in  proportion  as  it 
can  say,  thy  will  be  done  on  earth  as  it  is  done  in  heaven. 
Christ  himself  was  made  perfect  through  suffering,  and 
all  his  followers  shall  be  so  in  their  appointed  measure. 
What  is  our  cup  to  his  ?  O  my  dear  friend,  we  are  ran- 
somed, we  are  redeemed ;  and  we  are  fitting  and  pre- 
paring for  the  purchased  inheritance,  that  perfect  rest 
prepared  for  the  people  of  God,  when  their  warfare 
is  finished.  Let  him  do  all  his  pleasure  with  us  here ; 
let  him  subdue  our  iniquities  in  his  own  way;  let  him 
glorify  his  name  by  our  sufferings — his  glory  is  ever 
connected  with  his  people's  best  interests.  We  shall 
one  day  acknowledge  that  he  has  done  all  things  well, 


292  LETTERS. 

and  that  not  one  word  of  all  that  he  has  promised  hag 
failed. 

It  has  pleased  the  Lord  to  take  from  us,  our  dear 
sweet  Rebecca ;  young  as  she  was,  through  much  tri- 
bulation, she  entered  in :  I  have  scarcely  seen  severe]: 
suffering,  nor  a  harder  dismission.  It  is  well,  the  Lord 
will  answer  his  own  ends  by  it,  for  the  good  of  all 
concerned,  as  well  as  for  his  own  glory.  Our  dear  G* 
was  ill  at  the  same  time,  and  all  hope  was  lost  as  to 
him  also ;  for  a  whole  week  we  looked  upon  him  as 
dying.  A  bold  measure  was  taken  with  him,  which 
succeeded ;  the  Lord  had  commanded  life :  it  was  not 
thought  of  for  her.  God  had  appointed  to  her  en- 
trance into  life  eternal.  It  is  all  well.  Blessed,  bless- 
ed be  his  name !  for  her  he  has  taken,  and  him  he  has 
restored  both  equally.  I.  G.  S —  was  confined  at  the 
same  time  with  a  broken  arm.  N.  B —  with  the  fever 
and  pleurisy.  Deep  have  been  the  wounds  in  this 
aged  heart,  not  yet  weaned  from  earth,  but  trembling- 
ly alive  to  every  thing  that  concerns  my  children. 
Yet  I  do  give  up.  I  have  asked  but  one  thing  with 
importunity,  and  by  that  1  abide.  I  did  not  ask  for 
temporal  life,  but  the  life  which  Christ 'died  to  pur- 
chase, and  lives  to  bestow :  let  him  answer  my  peti- 
tion by  means  of  his  own  appointing :  by  health,  or 
by  sickness,  by  riches  or  by  poverty,  by  long  life  or 
early  death — only  let  all  mine,  by  the  ties  of  nature, 
be  his  by  regeneration  of  his  Spirit. 


August  24,  1810. 

MY  DEAR  FRIEND, 

I  bless  and  praise  our  gracious  God  for  his  late  ma- 
nifestations to  you  in  the  midst  of  so  many  tumultuat- 


LETTERS,  293 

tag  circumstances,  calculated  to  stir  up  corruption,  and 
prevent  that  rest  which  you  so  much  needed.  For  this 
manifestation,  I  have  earnestly  prayed,  and  I  have  ex- 
pected it ;  not  because  I  prayed  for  it,  but  because  it 
is  often  the  Lord's  way,  when  his  poor,  erring,  wan- 
dering creatures,  are  at  their  wit's  end,  saying,  there 
is  no  hope,  to  manifest  himself  a  God  at  hand,  the  Al- 
mighty Saviour,  saying,  O  ye  of  little  faith,  where- 
fore  did  ye  doubt  ?  ye  have  destroyed  yourselves ;  but 
in  me  is  your  help  ;  let  not  your  heart  be  troubled,  neither 
let  it  be  afraid. 

I  will  answer  all  your  queries  in  one.  Were  you  an 
out-cast,  the  Lord  would  never  have  dealt  with  you  as 
he  has  done ;  not  only  now  that  you  feel  his  love  in 
some  measure  shed  abroad  in  your  heart,  but  years  ago, 
when  you  felt  only  enmity  there,  the  last  was  as  cer- 
tain an  evidence  of  the  Lord's  gracious  dealings  with 
you  as  the  first,  and  perhaps  a  more  certain  one.  It  is 
the  Spirit  that  convinceth  of  sin.  It  was  the  Spirit  that 
convinced  you  years  ago,  not  only  of  your  sin,  but 
your  helplessness.  It  was  the  Spirit  that  produced  that 
self-condemnation,  self-loathing,  which  you  experi- 
enced ;  it  was  the  Spirit  that  opened  your  eyes,  to  dis- 
cern the  holiness,  the  spirituality,  and  the  perfection 
of.  that  law,  by  which  you  stood  condemned  in  your- 
self. O  my  friend !  the  dead  in  trespasses  and  sins 
have  no  such  views  ;  but  more,  deny  it  not  ;  the  same 
Spirit  pointed  out  the  Saviour  many  a  time,  and  how- 
ever feebly,  you  did  sigh  after  him,  you  did  desire  to 
love  him  and  to  serve  him.  But,  my  dear,  there  was 
ever  a  stumbling  block  in  your  way,  to  present  peace 
and  rest.  Your  language  was,  "  O  that  I  were  wor- 
thy, but  I  am  such  a  sinner,  so  unworthy,  my  corrup- 
tions are  so  strong,  my  heart  so  hard,  I   cannot  be- 


294  LETTERS. 

lieve."  It  was  all  true,  it  is  true  at  this  hour — but  it 
appeared  to  me  that  you  kept  back — you  did  not  lay 
hold  on  the  hope  set  before  you,  so  as  to  obtain  peace 
and  comfort ;  you  did  not  account  it  a  faithful  saying, 
and  worthy  of  all  acceptation,  that  Jesus  Christ  came 
into  the  world  to  save  sinners,  even  the  chief;  you  did 
not  realise  the  invitation,  Look  unto  me,  all  the  etids  of 
the  earth,  and  be  ye  saved, for  I  am  God,  and  there  is  none 
else,  And  Jesus  stood  and  cried,  if  any  man  thirst,  let  him 
come  unto  me,  and  drink — whosoever  will,  let  him  come 
and  take  of  the  water  of  life  freely.  Him  that  •  comet h  unto 
me  I  will  in  no  ivise  cast  out.  Again,  this  is  the  record, 
that  God  giveth  to  you  eternal  life,  and  this  life  is  in  his 
Son.  The  wages  of  sin  is  death,  hut  the  gift  of  God  is 
eternal  life.  Now  what  is  the  plain  simple  meaning  of 
all  this  ?  In  the  plan  of  redemption,  in  the  counsels 
of  Jehovah,  Jesus  Christ,  the  second  person  of  the 
incomprehensible  Trinity,  is  sanctified,  set  apart,  sub- 
stituted 'in  the  room  of  condemned  sinners,  to  take  their' 
nature  upon  him,  their  sins  upon  him,  their  duties  upon 
him ;  to  become  a  complete  surety  in  every  respect, 
to  sustain  the  penalty  in  his  own  person ;  to  yield  a 
complete  perfect  obedience  to  every  demand  of  the 
law  in  his  own  life  and  death.  In  a  word,  to  work  out 
a  perfect,  complete,  justifying  righteousness  for  us  in 
his  own  person.  It  was  not  wrought  in  us,  it  is  a 
finished  work  without  us — to  this  nothing  of  ours  is 
to  be  added  ;  with  this,  nothing  of  ours  is  to  be  mixt ; 
it  is  the  sinners  by  pure  imputation,  and  perfectly  dis- 
tinct from  that  holiness  of  heart  and  life  which  is 
wrought  in  us,  in  consequence  of  this  imputed  right- 
eousness. The  Holy  Ghost  says  by  the  mouth  of  the 
Apostle,  Christ  is  the  end  of  the  law  for  righteous- 
ness, and  ye  arc  complete  in  him— He  was  made  sin  for 


LETTERS.  295 

its,  that  we  might  be  made  the  righteousness  of  God  in 
him.  This  is  the  righteousness,  the  clean  linen,  pure 
and  white,  the  wedding  garment ;  all  the  types  of  the 
law  of  Moses,  pointed  out  this.  In  this,  God  beholds  no 
iniquity  in  Jacob  nor  transgression  in  Israel  Christ  him- 
self, his  person,  as  well  as  his  work,  is  the  gift  of  God 
to  sinners,  to  be  their  head,  their  husband,  their  life, 
as  well  as  their  Prophet,  Priest  and  King.  By  the 
same  plan,  all  is  put  in  the  sinner's  offer,  and  secured 
to  him  simply  upon  his  accepting.  It  is  the  divine  ap- 
pointment, that  to  as  many  as  receive  him,  to  them  gives 
he  power  to  become  the  sons  of  God.  But  the  gift  must 
first  be  received  by  the  sinner,  as  a  sinner — then  the 
promise  follows,  or  rather  goes  with  it,  "  power  to  be- 
come his  child."  It  is  in  the  first  act  of  simple  faith, 
that  I  think  my  friend  has  come  short ;  not  of  eternal 
life — no — faith  she  has  long  had  to  be  saved  ;  but  has 
not  entered  into  present  rest.  He  that  hath  entered 
into  rest,  hath  ceased  from  his  own  wTorks,  as  God  did 
from  his.  You  have  kept  looking  for  evidences  in 
yourself,  instead  of  crediting  the  invitation  and  the 
promise.  It  is  not  God's  ordinary  way  to  give  such 
evidences.  The  man  with  the  withered  hand  might  as 
reasonably  have  said,  "  Lord,  let  me  first  feel  strength, 
and  then  I  will  believe  that  I  shall  be  able  to  stretch  it 
out."  The  Lord  has  dealt  in  great  mercy  with  you. 
There  is  much  faith  expressed  in  your  letter  ;  but  it  is 
through  the  great  condescension  of  your  merciful  Fa- 
ther, accompanied  and  strengthened  by  a  sensible  ma- 
nifestation. He  has  allowed  you  to  see  fruit,  to  feel 
his  love  as  well  as  to  believe;  to  be  strong  in  faith  for 
the  time.  These  are  evidences,  undoubted  evidences, 
that  you  have  passed  from  death  untu  life,  and  are  safe 
in  his  Covenant  mercy.    They  are  certain  evidences  of 


296 


LETTER!:, 


the  reality  of  jour  being  in  Christ;  but,  my  dear 
friend,  these  feelings  may  not  be  evidences  to  your 
apprehension  three  days.  Try  now  to  rest  on  the 
promise  ;  keep  to  it :  though  he  slay  me,  yet  will  I  trust  in 
him  ;  and  take  the  gift  of  God  for  the  foundation  of 
your  rest.  1  John  v.  10,  11,  12,  13.  This  re- 
cord was  as  true,  under  all  the  tumult  expressed  in 
your  last  melancholy  epistle,  as  during  the  consoling 
exercise  of  this.  You  change,  but  God  never.  Satan 
desired  to  have  you,  that  he  might  sift  you  as  wheat, 
but  Christ  prayed  for  you.  Temptation  may  return, 
but  hold  fast  the  promise.  God  giveth  to  you  eternal 
life.  Be  assured,  the  more  firmly  and  steadily  you  can 
believe  this,  the  more  you  will  grow  in  love  to  God, 
and  all  holy  obedience;  watch  against  doubts,  they 
come  from  the  enemy ;  and  listened  to,  they  give  him 
great  advantage,  over  you,  for  faith  is  your  shield,    . 


•March,  1811. 
I  am  daily  on  the  look-out;  one  year  and  three 
months  will  complete  my  three  score  and  ten.  I  do  not 
know  one  individual  alive,  whom  I  knew  in  my  school 
days  ;  it  has  been  the  case  for  many  years.  >  I  do  not 
long  for  my  dismission,  neither  am  I  tired  Jof  life ;  but 
nothing  in  this  world,  unless  closely  connected  with 
another,  interests  me;  and  oh!  lam  tired  of  sin  ;  still 
It  cleaves  to  me  ;  in  all  things  I  come  short,  and  many 
duties  neglect  all  together  :  for  I  still  have  a  considera- 
ble share  of  health,  and  might  do  some  good,  had. I 
will  equal  to  my  opportunities  :  as  to  the  power,  it  is 
not  in  me,  but  I  know,  I  have  it  in  my  blessed  Head, 
and  for  the  asking.     I  cannot  but  long  to  be  delivered 


LETTERS. 


297 


from  sin,  and  sinful  apathy  in  particular,  for  really  my 
heart  must  be  wickedly  fertile,  to  find  out  opportuni- 
ties of  moral  transgression.  Food  and  raiment  are 
mine,  without  care ;  my  children  under  God,  care  for 
me.  I  have  my  dear  little  room,  my  Bible  and  books 
founded  on  it.  1  have  a  dear  Pastor,  and  Christian 
friends,  lively  ordinances,  and  also  much  of  the  Lord's 
presence  at  times ;  my  cup  runs  over  with  blessings, 
but  my  gratitude  bears  no  proportion ;  my  zeal  for 
the  glory  of  God,  and  the  good  of  my  fellow- sinners, 
buried  under  self-indulgence  and  apathy.  O  that  the 
goodness  of  the  Lord  may  lead  me  to  repentance  ! 

And  now,  my  dear  friend,  let  me  know  how  it  is 
with  you  and  your  dear  family.  The  severe  winter  is 
past ;  how  have  you  got  along  ?  with  what  temporal 
comfort,  and  how  has  the  Lord  dealt  with  your  soul  ? 
Has  the  barrel  of  meal,  or  the  cruise  of  oil  failed  ? 
Does  the  opening  spring  cheer  your  spirits,  and  furnish 
a  song  of  praise  ?  Does  it  find  you  in  a  situation  to 
dig  your  garden,  sow  your  seeds,  and  make  provision 
for  future  comfort  ?  Has  the  Lord  turned  your  capti- 
vity, and  dried  up  the  bitter  waters  that  flowed  against 
you  ?  How  are  your  dear  eyes,  after  all  the  briny 
tears  that  have  steeped  them  ?  How  are  your  poor 
nerves,  after  all  the  shocks  that  have  agitated  them  ? 
All  these  things  have  been  on  my  mind  ;  but  from  my 
long  silence,  you  cannot  believe  it.  What  are  we  all, 
but  broken  reeds,  which  pierce  the  hand  when  laid 
hold  of,  for  support  ?  There  is  but  one  Friend  to  poor, 
fallen,  miserable  man,  in  the  universe.  He  is  mercy; 
He  is  goodness  ;  He  is  Truth  ;  He  is  wisdom;  He  is 
unchangeable,  and  never  will  fail  you ;  take  him  to 
your  heart ;  give  it  all  to  him ;  he  only  is  worthy?  no 
father  is. 

2  P 


298  LETTERS, 

June  27,  1811. 

I  received  my  dear  friend's  letter  this  day  week, 
and  have  been  answering  it  ever  since.  Never  was  I 
in  such  a  strait.  It  contains  the  effusions  of  disappoint- 
ed hopes  and  anticipations  of  sore  evils ;  indicates  a 
soul  deeply  wounded,  and  taking  in  Christian  princi- 
ples, under  temptation.  Where  shall  I  begin?  I  have 
laid  it  before  our  compassionate  High  Priest,  I  have 
requested  direction.  Assist  me,  O  thou  blessed  Com- 
forter !  whose  office  it  is  to  convince  of  sin,  as  well  as 
to  minister  consolation  !  Do  both,  from  the  heart,  and 
by  the  pen  of  thy  handmaid. 

It  appears  to  me  salutary,  to  call  your  attention  first 
to  the  sovereignty  of  God.  The  silver  and  the  gold  are 
his,  and  the  cattle  on  a  thousand  hills  ;  he  gives  them 
to  whomsoever  he  pleases  ;  he  setteth  up  one  and  put- 
teth  down  another,  doing  whatsoever  pleaseth  him  in 
the  armies  of  heaven,  and  among  the  inhabitants  of  this 
earth ;  none  can  stay  his  hand,  or  say  unto  him,  what 
doest  thou  ?  He  attributes  to  himself  all  events  ;  men 
and  other  creatures  are  but  instruments.  Men's  wick- 
ed hearts  impel  them  to  commit  evil,  but  the  events 
are  of  the  Lord,  which  he  over-rules  for  his  own  glory, 
and  for  the  good  of  his  people.  Him  being  delivered 
by  the  foreknowledge  and  counsel  of  God,  ye  have  taken, 
and  by  wicked  hands  have  crucified  him:  Joseph  sa'id, 
ye  meant  it  for  evil,  but  God  for  good,  to  save  much  peo- 
ple alive,  as  at  this  day.  The  Lord  does  not  often,  at 
the  time,  give  his  people  reasons  for  afflicting  them, 
though,  they  can  often  read  them  at  an  after  period. 

Job  was  a  holy  man  ;  his  afflictions  from  God's  own 
hand  were  very  deep  ;  the  teasing  unkindness  and  in- 
justice of  his  friends  made  great  part  of  the  temptation, 
and" he  spoke  unadvisedly  with  his   lips.     When  God 


LETTERS.  299 

did  appear,  he  did  not  answer  his  cavils,  nor  give  him 
one  reason  why  he  had  dealt  with  him  thus ;  but  si- 
lenced him  with  views  of  his  majesty,  power  and  wis- 
dom ;  of  his  own  meanness  and  vileness,  though  com- 
paratively correct  in  his  conduct,  beyond  most  others. 
I  believe  he  spoke  truth  when  he  said,  /  delivered  the 
poor  that  cried,  the  fatherless,  and  him  that  had  none  to 
help  him.  The  blessing  of  him  that  was  ready  to  perish, 
came  upon  me,  and  I  caused  the  widow' }s  heart  to  sing  for 
joy.  I  was  eyes  to  the  blind,  and  feet  to  the  lame.  I  was 
a  father  to  the  poor,  and  the  cause  that  I  knew  not,  I  search- 
ed  out.  God  allowed  the  weight  of  the  trial  to  be 
upon  his  spirit,  with  the  conviction  of  his  presumption, 
'till  he  brought  him  to  his  feet.  Behold  I  am  vile,  what 
shall  I  answer  thee?  I  will  lay  my  hand  upon  my  mouth, 
&c.  I  abhor  myself,  and  repent  in  dust  and  ashes.  These 
things  were  written  for  our  example  and  profit. 

This  afflictive  providence  is  now  finished,  at  least 
so  far.  What  you  now  possess  is  the  allotment  of 
your  God.  Set  all  instruments  aside,  and  listen  to  the 
Holy  Ghost — Humble  yourself  under  the  mighty  hand  of 
God,  and  he  shall  exalt  you  in  due  time.  In  order  to 
this,  I  would  recommend  to  you  to  take  a  close  re- 
trospective view  of  your  past  life,  with  earnest  prayer, 
that  God  would  search  you  and  try  you,  and  show 
you  what  wicked  ways  have  been,  or  now  are  in  you. 
Go  back  to  the  days  of  your  youth  ;  take  a  close  view 
of  the  use  you  made  of  affluence  and  influence,  not 
comparing  yourself  with  others;  but  judging  yourself 
by  the  law  of  God,  the  only  standard  of  right  and 
wrong,  truth  and  error.  Seek  for  humbling  views  of 
yourself  in  yourself.  If  the  Holy  Ghost  enlighten,  you 
will  find  sufficient  grounds.  Seek  for  consolation  in 
the   free  promises  of  God.  through  Je?us  Christ,  of 


300  LETTERS. 

which  there  are  also  abundance,  even  to  the  chief  of 
sinners.  What  I  recommend  to  you  has  been  my  own 
practice,  especially  in  times  of  trial,  and  if  health  will 
admit  of  it,  add  fasting;  because  I  think  it  is  the 
Lord's  ordinance-  The  days  shall  come  when  the  Bride- 
groom shall  be  taken  from  them^  then  shall  they  fast  in 
those  days. 

Read  the  third  chapter  of  Jeremiah's  lamentations'  ; 
endeavour  to  come  under  the  feelings  of  contrition,  on 
account  of  your  sins,  and  derive  consolation  from  faith 
in  God's  great  mercy  ;  ever  keeping  in  view  the  chan- 
nel through  which  mercy  can  only  flow  to  sinners  of 
Adam's  race.  Take  also  a  view  of  God's  dealings 
with  his  elect  nation,  in  the  wilderness  ;  they  had  nor- 
thing but  manna,  and  were  punished  for  murmuring ; 
while  at  that  very  time,  the  nations  in  Canaan,  the 
Egyptians,  and  Assyrians,  were  living  in  all  manner  of 
luxury.  What  was  their  whole  history  but  backslid- 
ing, threatening  upon  threatening  ?  then  chastisement, 
turning,  repenting,  pardon,  reconciliation,  and  the 
same  round  again,  every  chastisement  severer*  than  the 
last ;  while  worldlings  in  general,  have  their  day  to 
the  end ;  then,  says  David,  they  are  cast  down  suddenly 
to  destruction.  I  wish  you  to  take  a  particular  view  of 
God's  dealings  with  them,  before  Nebuchadnezzar 
sacked  the  city  of  Jerusalem.  The  decree  was  past, 
after  many  warnings,  and  much  long  suffering.  How 
many  pauses,  as  it  wrere,  did  the  merciful  Lord  God 
make  before  he  gave  them  finally  up  to  their  enemies  ; 
and  when  the  decree  w7as  irrevocable,  and  the  chas- 
tisement to  take  place,  still  he  followed  them  with 
mercy.  See  Jeremiah  xxvii.  12,  and  chap,  xxix  : 
the  letter  which  God  commanded  Jeremiah' to  write 
to  those  who  had  beea   carried  away  captive  with  Je» 


LETTERS.  301 

fioiakim,  advising  them  to  build  houses  and  plant 
vineyards,  and  to  make  the  most  of  their  situation. 
Those  at  Jerusalem  were  commanded  to  submit  to  the 
king  of  Babylon,  as  in  that  case  he  would  not  destroy 
the  city :  but  no,  they  stood  it  out,  and  the  threatened 
'vengeance  overtook  them. 

The  poor  were  left  to  take  care  of  the  vineyards, 
&c.     Jeremiah   remained  with  them  in  preference  to 
goins;  with  the  king  of  Babylon  to  be  promoted  to  ho- 
nour.    God  offered  to  take  them  under  his  protection, 
and  be  their  God :  but  no,  they  would  go  to  Egypt, 
and  put  themselves  under  the  king  of  Egypt's  protec- 
tion.    Jeremiah  told  them  from  the  Lord,  that  Egypt 
itself  should  soon   go   into   captivity.     But  to  Egypt 
they  went,   and   carried  Jeremiah  with  them.       See 
Isaiah's  prophecy  on  this  occasion,  chapter  xxxv.  31. 
Now  look  at  chapter  lxii.  24 :    there  you   see  God's 
judgment  and  chastening;  follow  him  in  the  beginning 
of  chapter  lxiii.  and  view  his  mercy;    in  the  end  of 
the  same  chapter,  again,  see  his  charge  against  them: 
but  O,  it  is  followed  with  mercy,  not  judgment.     Thus 
we  learn  the  character  of  God.     Thus  we   learn   his 
dealings   with  his   people.     They  are    not  called  to 
earthly  comfort    and   prosperity.       They  ever   have 
been,  and  still  are,  a  suffering  people;   they  are  all 
sinners — sin  brings  suffering,  and  God  overrules  suf- 
fering, so  as  to  make   it  profitable  to  them.     Though 
redeemed  by  the  life  and  death  of  Christ,  being  justifi- 
ed by  faith,  tlicy  have  peace  with  God :  yet  the  Lord  has 
not  pleased  all  at  once  to  qualify  them  for  the  pur- 
chased possession.     They  receive  a   new.  birth,  new 
life,  and  are  called  to  work  out  their  own  salvation 
with  fear  and  trembling,  with  this  consolation,  that  God 
workcth  in  them,  both  to  will,  and  to  do.  of  his  good 


302  LETTERS. 

pleasure.  This  is  not  their  home,  here  they  have  no 
continuing  city ;  they  are  travelling  through  the  wil- 
derness, to  the  city  and  mansions  purchased  and  pre- 
pared for  them  by  their  Saviour,  and  must  be  made 
holy  before  they  can  enter  in.  They  have  many  cor- 
ruptions to  be  mortified;  errors  to  be  corrected  in 
their  estimation  of  men  and  things.  Carnal,  proud, 
hard,  stony  hearts,  to  be  made  spiritual,  humble,  ten- 
der, resigned,  and  loving.  Then  shalt  thou  remember 
all  the  way  by  which  I  led  "thee ;  to  prove  thee,  and  try 
thee  ;  to  shew  thee  ivhat  was  in  thy  heart,  that  I  might  do 
thee  good  in  thy  latter  end.  Besides,  all  suffering  is  not 
the  immediate  punishment  of  sin  in  the  individual  suf- 
ferer, nor  for  his  exclusive  profit :  it  is  evident,  from 
Scripture,  there  is  suffering  for  the  benefit  of  the 
body  of  Christ ;  His  Church,  of  which,  (I  think,)  all 
have  some  share.  God  has  wise  ends  to  answer  by  all 
the  suffering  of  his  creatures,  and  especially  of  the 
members  of  his  body.  The  apostles  rejoiced  in  this, 
and  so  ought  we.  If  we  suffer  with  him,,  we  shall  also 
reign  with  him.  Paul — I  fdl  up,  in  my  Hesh,  that  which 
Is  behind,  of  the  sufferings  of  Christ,  for  his  body's 
sake,  which  is  the  Church.  Now,  my  dear  friend, 
let  us  take  a  look  at  your  real  individual  situation,  as 
a  suffering  member  of  a  suffering  body ;  a  ■  suffering 
body,  because  a  corrupt  body,  requiring  bleeding, 
blistering,  &c.  &c.  Take  a  view  of  the  Saints 
of  God  in  history,  sacred  or  profane,  and  compare 
your  own  individual  suffering  with  theirs,  great  as  it  is ; 
I  am  apt  to  think,  it  will  not  rise  to  mediocrity.  I 
could  expatiate  on  this  subject,  from  what  comes  every 
day  within  my  own  knowledge.  The  Lord  is  working 
in  this  way  all  around  me :  but  of  that  another  time. 
In  your  own  case,  try  for  a  moment  to  shut  out  of 


LETTERS.  303 

view,  every  thing  without  your  own  family:  what  you 
once  were,  what  you  once  possessed  and  enjoyed  ;  also, 
what  your  friends  possess   and   enjoy  at  this  present 
time:  detach  yourself  from  all.     What  wras  yours,  is 
gone;  what  you  calculated  upon,  is  also  gone:  set  all 
aside,  and  consider  yourself  a  sinner,  saved  from  de- 
struction by  grace ;  in  a  state  of  purgation,  and  prepa- 
ration for  happiness,  on  a  pilgrimage  with  thousands 
of  others,  your  fellow-saved  sinners,  through  the  wil- 
derness, to  that  inheritance  which  was  purchased  for 
you  at  such  a  price.     Your  Saviour  is  your  Leaden 
Protector,  Provider,  also  your  Physician,  and  the  Phy- 
sician of  the  whole   body,    perfectly  acquainted  with 
the  constitution,  disposition,  temper,  &c.  of  every  indi- 
vidual.    He  has  made  provision  for  each,  all  the  jour- 
ney through,  and  given  security  that  none  shall  suffer 
real  want.     Bread  and  water  is  promised ;  nothing  be- 
yond these,  though  in  general  he  gives  more ;  to  each 
he  gives  a  portion  in  hand,  to  some  for  a  day,  some  for  a 
week,  some  for  a  year,  which  they  calculate  upon  with 
more  or  less  probability :  none  with  certainty.     Your 
portion  is — for  a  year;  take  a  view  of  those  whom  you 
know,  one  with  another,  I  am  apt  to  think,  the  Lord 
has  still  given  you  mediocrity.     Look  at  the  ordinary 
provision  he  makes   for  the  ministers  of  his  Gospel : 
most  of    them   with   a   flock   of  children;    many  of 
those  in  the  country  have  five  hundred  dollars,  some 
four    hundred,    some    three    hundred,     generally    ill 
paid.      The    Lord  puts  a  blessing   in    it,   he  makes 
it  go  far — the  garden    produce   the    cow;      they   do 
what  their   hands    find    to    do,    and    get  along:    so 
will  he   do  with    you,    my    dear.      He  will  put  you 
upon  methods   of   industry  and  economy:    your  one 
chicken  divided  in  six  parts,  with  a  little  bit  of  pork, 


301  LETTERS. 

with  the  fruit  of  God's  blessing  on  your  industry  in 
the  garden,  shall  both  taste  sweet,  and  satisfy  for  the 
time.  Try  to  be  thankful ;  Moses  said  of  the  manna, 
This  is  the  bread  which  the  Lord  your  God  giveth  you. 
Pray  and  watch  against  dwelling  on  the  plentiful 
tables  of  others ;  and  when  bidden  to  a  feast,  take 
your  portion,  and  say,  this  is  from  the  Lord  for  the 
time.  Do  not  let  a  thought  of  misery  or  wretchedness 
dwell  upon  your  mind.  O  no,  God  is  good ;  you  shall 
not  want.  O  what  sweet" meals  have  I,  and  my  chil- 
dren made  on  hot  potatoes,  nicely  boikd  and  cracked, 
with  salt — not  merely  content,  but  they  tasted  good 
and  savoury.  There  are  peculiar  pleasures  in  a  life 
of  that  kind.     You  shall  yet  sing  of  it. 

Now,  my  dear  friend,  I  have  done  with  what  I  had 
to  say  on  this  head.  I  have  had  great  fears  of  wound- 
ing, lest  you  should  reckon  me  among  Job's  friends : 
but  you  call  me  mother,  and  it  is  required  of  a  mother 
to  be  faithful.  I  now  leave  it  with  the  Lord.  We  are 
delighted  to  find  you  girding  up  the  loins  of  your 
mind,  and  setting  about  active  duty.  Let  Us'  meet  at 
a  throne  of  Grace,  and  look. to  the  course  the  Lord 
marks  out  for  us. 


TO  Mrs.  G— Y. 

MY  DEAR  MADAM, 

I  have  just  parted  with  my  dear  afflicted  friend 
P.;  she  left  it  in  charge  to  me,  that  I  should  write  to 
you  in  the  time  of  your  affliction.  Surely,  I  would  do 
any  thing,  whatever,  that  1  thought  might  alleviak 
either  her,  or  your,  distress.  But  there  are  cases,  to 
which  God  alone  can  speak ;  afflictions  which  he  ohm 


LETTERS.  305 

8&ti  Console.  Such  are  those,  under  which  the  sufferer 
is  commanded  to  be  still,  and  know  that  he  is  God.  He 
never  leaves  his  people  in  any  case ;  but  sometimes 
shuts  them  up  from  human  aid.  Their  grief  is  too 
great  to  be  consoled  by  human  tongue  or  pen. 

Such  I  have  experienced.  I  lost  my  only  son;  I 
neither  know  when,  nor  where ;  and  for  any  thing  I 
know,  in  a  state  of  rebellion  against  God.  Here,  at 
my  heart  it  lies  still ;  who  can  speak  to  me  of  it  ?  nei- 
ther can  I  reason  upon  it.  Aaron  held  his  peace.  Old 
Eli  said,  It  is  the  Lord,  let  him  do  what  seemeth  good  in 
his  sight.  Samuel,  in  his  turn,  had  his  heart  wrung 
by  his  ungodly  son.  David  lamented  over  his  beloved 
Absalom :  but  it  availed  him  nothing.  Job's  sons  and 
daughters  were  all  cut  off  in  one  day;  himself  laid 
down  in  deep  sore  bodily  affliction;  his  friends  sat 
seven  days  and  seven  nights  without  opening  their 
mouths,  because  they  saw  his  affliction  was  very  great ; 
and  if  they  spoke,  it  was  to  aggravate  it :  and  when 
God  himself  spoke,  he  gave  him  no  reason  for  his 
dealings,  but  charged  him  with  folly  and  madness. 
Shall  he  that  contendeth  ivith  the  Almighty,  instruct  him  ? 
He  that  reproveth  God,  let  him  answer  it.  Then  he  calleth 
his  attention  to  his  own  meanness,  and  imbecility,  but 
it  was  still  in  a  way  of  sovereignty ;  and  after  he  laid 
his  hand  on  his  mouth,  and  his  mouth  in  the  dust,  con- 
fessed himself  vile,  and  became  dumb  before  him;  ab- 
horring himself,  and  repenting  in  dust  and  ashes,  instead 
of  the  splendid  catalogue  of  virtues  enumerated  in  chap- 
ter xxix.  and  complaints  in  chapter  x.  which  I  make 
not  the  least  doubt  were  true,  as  far  as  human  virtue 
can  reach:  but  if  God  charge  even  his  angels  with  folly, 
shall  man,  corrupt,  self-destroyed  man,  plead  meri* 
before  God  ? 

2Q 


306  LETTERS. 

But,  my  dear  friend,  I  do  not  iind  in  all  God's  bible* 
any  thing*  requiring  us  to  look  at,  far  less  acquiesce  in, 
the  final  destruction  of  any,  for  whom  we  have  prayed? 
pleaded,  and  committed  to  him,  least  of  all  our  off- 
spring, whom  he  has  commanded  us  to  train  up  for 
him.  Children  are  God^s  heritage.  I  do  not  say  he 
has  given  us  any  promise  for  the  obstinately  wicked ; 
but  when  cut  off,  he  only  requires  us  to  be  still,  to  hold 
our  peace.  I  do  not  think  he  takes  hope  from  us. 
God  has  set  limits  to  our  "faith  for  others;  our  faith 
must  not  rest  in  opposition  to  his  threatenings.  We 
must  believe  that  the  wicked  shall  be  turned  into  hell,  and 
all  that  forget  God ;  but  he  hath  set  no  bounds  to  his 
own  mercy ;  in  that  glorious  plan  of  redemption,  by 
which  he  substitutes  his  own  Son,  in  the  room  and  stead 
of  sinners,  he  has  made  provision  for  the  chief  of  sinners: 
and  can  now  be  just  and  consistent,  while  he  justifies 
the  ungodly  who  believe  in  Jesus.  Short  was  the 
time  between  the  thief's  petition  and  the  promise  of 
salvation ;  nay,  the  petition  was  the  earnest  of  \\, 
The  same  was  the  case  with  the  jailor;  though  less 
positive  the  assertion;  yet,  I  think  the  publican  had 
the  earnest  in  his  petition  also.  Now,' instead  of  la- 
bouring to  bring  my  mind  to  acquiesce  in  the  condem- 
nation of  my  child,  on  the  supposition  of.  its  being- 
for  God's  glory,  (which  1  no  where  find  required,  but 
from  some  of  your  New  England  divines,)  I  try  to 
be  still  as  he  has  commanded ;  not  to  follow  my  child, 
to  the  yet  invisible  world ;  but  turning  my  eyes  to  that 
character  which  ,God  has  revealed  of  himself — to  the 
plan  of  redemption — to  the  sovereignty  of  God  in  the 
execution  of  that  plan,  to  his  names  of  grace\  The 
Lord,  the  Lord  God,  merciful  and  gracious,  slow  to  an- 
ger, abundant  in  goodness  and  truth,  forgiving  iniquity, 
and  transgression,  and  sins  while  he  adds,  and  that  will  by 


LETTERS.  307 

*io  means  clear  the  guilty,  I  meet  it  with  his  own  decla- 
ration, he  hath  made  him  to  be  sin  for  us  who  knew  no 
sin*  that  we  might  be  made  the  righteousness  of  God  in 
him.  I  read  also  that  mercy  is  his  darling  attribute ; 
that  mercy  rejoiceth  against  judgment,  and  many  other 
like  Scriptures,  which,  although  I  dare  not  ground  a 
belief  of  his  salvation  on  them,  one  ray  of  hope  fol- 
lows another,  that  God  may  have  made  him  a  monu- 
ment of  mercy,  to  the  glory  of  his  grace.  Thus  God 
himself  consoles  his  own  praying  people,  while  man 
ought  to  be  very  cautious,  if  not  silent,  where  the 
Scriptures  are  silent,  as  it  respects  the  final  state  of 
another,  whose  heart  we  cannot  know,  nor  what  God 
may  have  wrought  in  it.  God  hath  set  bounds  to  our 
faith,  which  can  nowhere  find  solid  ground  to  fix 
upon,  but  on  his  own  written  promise.  Yet,  as  I  said 
above,  he  has  set  no  bounds  to  his  own  mercy,  and  he 
has  made  provision  for  its  boundless  flow,  as  far  as  he 
shall  please  to  extend  it,  through  the  atonement  and 
merits  of  his  own  Son,  who  is  able  to  save  to  the  utter- 
most, all  who  come  unto  God  by  him.  Now,  my  dear  friend, 
you  have  my  ideas  of  our  situation ;  if  they  be  cor- 
rect, I  pray  that  our  compassionate  Father  may  com- 
fort you  by  them ;  if  otherwise,  may  he  pardon  what 
is  amiss,  and  lead  you,  my  dear  friend  P — ,  and  my- 
self, to  such  consolation  as  he  himself  will  own  as  the 
work  of  his  Spirit,  and  save  us  from  the  enemy,  and 
our  own  spirit. 

Since  writing  the  foregoing,  I  feel  afraid  of  what 
I  have  said  :  it  is  dangerous  seeking  comfort  where 
the  Scriptures  are  silent;  yet  while  we  plead  with 
God  to  be  preserved  from  error,  and  try  to  be  still 
before  him,  he  will  save  us  from  the  subtilty  of  the 
serpent,  as  well  as  from  the  rage  of  the  lion. 

I  am  with  love,  your  sympathising  friend. 

ISABELLA  GRAHAM. 


EXTRACTS  FROM  LETTERS 


WRITTEN    TO 


Mr.  and  Mrs.  B 


Whihfin  Britain,  for  the  benefit  of  Mrs.  B%s  health,  in 
1801   and  1802. 


March  23,  186J. 

MY    DEAR    CHILDREN, 

THIS  is  mortifying  to  both,  to  be  anchored 
half  a  mile  from  us,  and  there  to  lie  for  hours — but 
even  this,  trifling  as  it  may  appear,  has  its  end  to  an- 
swer in  His  scheme,  without  whom,  not  a  sparrow 
falls.  I  have  retired  with  my  Bible,  to'  commit  you, 
and  all  my  cares,  and  concerns,  afresh  to  that  God, 
whose  goodness  and  mercy  have  followed  us  through 
life ;  who  is  my  God,  your  God,  and  the  God  of  our 
seed ;  who  answered  my  prayers  in  opposition  to  my 
inconsistent  conduct ;  took  you  out  of  my  idolatrous 
management,  into  his  own  more  merciful  guidance.  Oh ! 
He  has  done  alL  things  well,  and  He  will  perfect  his 
own  work. 

Now,  may  the  Angel,  that  redeemed  you,  be  with  you, 
keep  you  in  the  hollow  of  his  hand,  and  as  the  apple  of 
his  eye  ;  be  with  you  on  his  own  ocean,  and  command 


LETTERS.  309 

the  billows  not  to  touch  you  ;  carry  you  to  the  bosom 
of  your  dear  native  country,  where  a  large  proportion 
of  his  body  live  in  Him  and  by  Him ;  bless  you,  and 
make  you  a  blessing,  wherever  his  providence  shall 
carry  you,  and  restore  you  with  blessings  to  us,  in  his 
own  time.     Amen. 


Sabbath,  after  morning  service. 

March  29. 

This,  my  dear  children,  is  a  day  of  storm,  wind  and 
rain  ;  O  that  the  prayer  of  our  dear  Pastor,  and  I  hope 
of  many  present,  may  be  with  you,  and  be  answered 
to  and  for  you — which  was  thus  : 

"  Lord,  be  with  that  family,  who,  now  on  the  mighty 
ocean,  desire  an  interest  in  our  prayers.  May  He 
whom  winds  and  waves  obey,  preserve  them  in  this 
tempestuous  season ;  may  they  see,  and  improve  his 
wonders  in  the  great  deep ;  may  the  blessings  of  the 
everlasting  Gospel  preserve  their  souls  in  peace  :  con- 
duct them  in  safety  to  their  destined  port,  and  restore 
them  to  us,  enriched  with  the  blessings  of  thy  well- 
ordered  Covenant." 

I  sent  two  notes  for  the  Dutch  churches,  enclosed  to 
Mr.  B.  one  for  Wall-street,  to  Mr.  A.  and  one  for  the 
Brick  church,  to  Mr.  M.     I  watered  all  with  my  tears. 

5  o'Clock. 

Oh  !  how  it  blows  and  rains  !  O  my  children,  how 
my  poor  heart  aches  for  you  ;  il  not  in  danger,  yet  sick, 
sick,  and  in  much  discomfort.  I  gave  a  note  in  the 
old  church,  in  the  afternoon,  supposing  the  congre- 


310  LETTERS, 

gation  on  this  dreadful  day,  to  be  different.  Mr.  M« 
prayed  :  "  The  Angel  of  thy  presence  be  with  them, 
give  them  much  of  the  consolations  of  thy  Spirit. 
Conduct  them  in  safety  to  the  place  of  their  destination, 
and  restore  them  enriched,  with  thy  blessing,  to  wor- 
ship with  us  again,  in  this  thy  house  of  prayer."  I 
write  on  this  day  merely  to  table,  for  your  perusal, 
the  prayers  of  your  Church.  I  think  you  ought,  if  the 
Lord  conduct  you  safe,  to  propose  public  thanks  to  that 
God,  who  heard  and  answered,  if  agreeable  to  Mr. 
M.  Write  me  how  it  was  with  you  on  this  day.  Now 
1  will  lay  past  this,  to  some  other  opportunity,  and  go 
to  a  throne  of  Grace  for  you  and  all  of  us.  O  keep 
close  to  the  Lord  ;  O  that  he  may  save  you  from  a  dis- 
sipated, trifling,  carnal,  spirit ;  may  he  sanctify  all 
your  comforts,  give  you  a  just  estimation  of  all  you 
see  and  hear;  .may  the  Christian's  portion  rise  more 
and  more ;  and  the  world,  and  its  vanities,  sink  in  your 
view.' 


April  4. 

A  vessel  which  sails  for  London  to-morrow,  will, 
I  hope,  convey  this  to  you,  if  the  Lord  spare  you  to 
be  there  ;  I  cannot  help  being  very  anxious  since  that 
storm ;  by  the  arrival  of  several  vessels  in  twenty-four 
and  twenty-three  days,  wre  find  the  winds  have  been 
all  easterly,  and  strong  ;  all  contrary  to  you  ;  but  they 
are  God's  winds,  and  I  hope  his  presence  will  make 
all  up,  and  cause' you  to  profit  by  all  his  providences. 

Mr.  W.  W — ,  lost  this  week  three  sons,  which 
makes  four  in  all,  of  the  scarlet  fever,  and  sore  throat, 
all  very  suddenly;  one  in  twenty  -four  hours ;  he  has 
two  of  six  left;  what  can  we  say  to  these  things  ?  The 


LETTERS.  311 

Lord  does  what  pleases  him  in  the  armies  of  heaven, 
and  among  the  inhabitants  of  the  earth.  Blessed  are 
they  to  whom  all  things  shall  work  together  for  good. 
It  is  my  great  consolation,  that  you  are,  through  Grace, 
among  that  happy  number,  and  in  no  possible  way  can 
be  a  loser  at  his  hand  ;  death  itself,  will  be  your  gain. 
The  society  met  here  last  Monday,  where  you  were 
again,  in  the  prayer  of  faith,  brought  to  a  throne  of 
Grace. 

I  am  with  love,  your  mother. 

April  10. 
What  the  Lord  is  going  to  do  with  his,  and  my 
children,  I  know  not ;  but  the  Samuel  Elam  has  return- 
ed to  port,  with  a  leak,  after  being  out  nineteen  days. 
On  the  day  of  storm,  she  had  seven  feet  water  in  her 
hold.  I  hope  the  Lord,  in  mercy  to  you,  to  his  Church, 
and  to  me,  his  unworthy  servant,  has  guided  you  in 
safety,  and  that  the  prayers  of  his  Church  were  an- 
swered in  your  behalf.  O  !  my  children,  what  would 
be  the  situation  of  my  heart,  had  I  not  confidence,  of 
your  being  within  the  ark.  I  desire  to  rejoice  over  all 
my  fears,  for  this  unspeakable  consolation,  nothing 
can  hurt  you.  I  experience  for  you,  what  I  did  in  my 
own  case,  when  darkness  and  tempest  added  to  the 
horrors  of  many,  while  our  vessel  kept  dashing  on  the 
rock*  ;  I,  too,  expected  her  to  go  to  pieces  every  mo- 
ment ;  but  the  idea  was  ever  with  me,  in  the  bosom  of 
GocVs  ocean,  I  shall  find  the  bosom  of  my  Saviour.  On 
the  night  of  the  29th  of  March,  I  dreamt  my  dear 
J — y  fell  over-board,  and  I  saw  her  floating  on  the  bil- 
lows, supporting  herself  by  her  little  chair;  this  is  the 
state  of  my  mind  ;  yet  I  am  thankful,  and  enjoy  much 

*  On  die  coast  of  Ayr,  as  stated  in  her  Life. 


312  LETTERS. 

peace.  The  Lord  has  given  me  all  my  asking— -the 
salvation  of  jour  souls.  In  a  little  time  we  shall  all  be 
gathered  around  his  throne.  Well  may  I  leave  to  him 
all  intervening  circumstances,  as  well  as  who  goes  first, 
and  how.  O  how  he  blesses  my  latter  end,  how  he 
soothes  and  comforts  my  old  age ;  far  other  things  have 
I  merited,  that  my  soul  knows ;  but  he  has  not  only 
pardoned,  but  comforts,  and  draws  a  veil  over  my 
transgressions,  covering  them  from  the  world's  obser- 
vation. What  can  1  say  ?  He  is  God,  and  mercy  is  his 
darling  attribute. 


April  17,  1801. 
I  wrote  my  dear  children  by  the  Draper,  by  the 
British  Packet,  and  by  I  know  not  whom ;  but  this  is 
the  4th.  I  will  now  begin  to  number  my  letters,  for  I 
send  them  to  go  by  the  first  opportunity,  without  being 
able  to  know  which  will  be  the  first  at  the  time  of 
writing. 

0  my  dear  children,  the  weather  has;  been  tremen- 
dous. It  is  not  my  anxiety  that  makes  the  observation > 
Others  allow  it,  and  the  winda  are  all  easterly.  Were 
not  my  God  your  God,  did  I  not  know  and  believe, 
that  all  his  providences  shall  be  over-ruled  for  your 
true  interest;  did  I  not  enter  more  into  your  eternal 
state,  than  your  temporal,  I  should  be  very  miserable. 

1  have  brought  the  reality  near  me,  that  mine  eyes 
may  never  behold  you  again  on  earth.  I  can  say,  even 
of  that,  it  is  well ;  but  the  idea  of  the  horrors  of  tem- 
pest, a  leaky  vessel,  racked  by  the  storm,  and  sinking 
by  inches ;  sickness,  nervous  timidity,  and  the  suffer- 
ings to  be  undergone,  before  the  entrance  to  the  haven  of 
rest  be  attained,  is  my  chief  disquietment,  1  will  not 


LETTERS.  313 

<=ven  say  distress,  because  when  these  horrors  (horrors 
they  are  to  mere  nature)  dart  across  my  mind,  filling 
my  soul  with  momentary  anguish  ;  Satan  too,  seeking 
to  distract  my  mind,  the  Spirit  of  the  Lord  lifts  up  a 
standard  ap-ainst  him,  and  comforts  me  with  his  own 
word,  the  everlasting  promises  suited  to  every  possi- 
ble circumstance  in  the  believer's  lot.  Thousands  of 
times  have  I  grasped  that  promise,  leave  thy  fatherless 
children  on  me,  I  ivill  preserve  them  alive,  I  pleaded  it 
for  the  life  of  their  souls  ;  He  answered  my  prayers ; 
He  has  given  them  life,  and  they  live  to  him.  Yes,  I 
see  the  fruit,  and  though  iniquities  still  prevail  against 
them,  He  still  purgeth  away  their  transgressions; 
kindles  their  repentance  ;  humbles  their  souls ;  lays 
them  prostrate  in  penitential  confession ;  washes  them 
afresh  in  the  open  fountain ;  restores  to  them  the  joys 
of  his  salvation ;  seals  their  pardon  by  shedding 
abroad  his  love  in  their  hearts,  and  making  them  walk 
in  the  path  of  righteousness  for  his  own  name's  sake. 
'  Thus  he  carries  them  on  from  strength  to  strength 
by  various  means  of  his  own  appointing,  and  some 
terrible  things  in  righteousness,  in  the  course  of  his 
providence ;  in  all  which  he  is  sovereign,  but  ever  con- 
sistent with  his  new  Covenant  name,  as  proclaimed  to 
Moses  on  the  Mount ;  as  manifested  in  the  character 
of  God,  dwelling  with  us  in  our  own  nature,  in  whom 
mercy  shone  prominent,  his  darling  attribute  ;  by  which 
mercy,  they  shall  appear  in  Zion,  before  God,  in  due 
time. 

Is  it  so?  Is  this  God  my  God,  and  the  God  of  my 
seed  ?  Is  he  himself  become  our  salvation  ?  Are  we 
heirs  of  God  and  joint  heirs  with  Christ  ?  Is  our  life 
hid    with  Christ  in   God  ?  when  he  appears,  shall  we 

2  R 


314  LETTERS. 

(I  and  the  children  which  he  hath  given  me)  in  very 
deed,  appear  with  him  in  glory  ?  Is  all  this  so  ?  and  I 
believe  it,  shall  I  tremble  at  the  approach  of  any  of 
his  providences  ?  Shall  I  not  say  when  it  has  taken 
place  ?  The  will  of  the  Lord  be  done,  especially 
when  clothed  with  love.  I  trust  that  as  my  day,  so 
shall  my  strength  be,  and  in  the  interim,  I  have  the 
same  confidence  for  you.  For  he  giveth  power  to  the 
faint,  and  to  them  that  hav*  no  might,  he  increaseth 
strength. 


Jpril25,  1801. 

MY    DEAR    CHILDREN, 

The  storms  and  tempests  that  have  almost  unremit- 
tingly succeeded  each  other,  ever  since  you  left  us, 
have  kept  my  mind  in  constant  exercise  about  you ; 
the  wind  roars  and  howls  in  my  windows,  though  not 
facing  the  storm,  and  the  white  waves  in  the  river  pic- 
ture in  my  mind  the  foaming  billows  of  the  ocean.  The 
name  of  our  God  is  my  consolation  :  though  the  waters 
roar  and  be  troubled,  though  the  mountains  shake  with  the 
swelling  thereof,  there  is  a  river,  the  streams  whereof  shall 
make  glad  the  city  of  God.  God  shall  help  her,  and  that  right 
early.  When  I  walk  about  Zion,  and  go  found  about  her, 
when  I  tell  the  towers  thereof,  mark  her  buhvarks,  and 
consider  her  palaces,  my  heart  rejoices,  that  this  God  is 
our  God;  he  will  be  our  guide  even  unto  death;  and  O 
the  joy,  that  my  children  are  the  citizens  of  this  Zion, 
and  the  heirs  of  all  the  promises  by  virtue  of  the  New 
Testament  in  Christ's  blood  !  A  Covenant  of  works 
it  was  to  our  surety,  and  his  heart's  blood  finished  the 
requisites  of  it.     It  is  now  a  Testament  to  you,  sealed 


LETTERS.  31A 

by  the  same  blood.  Wherever  in  his  word  I  meet  the 
character,  the  providence,  the  work  of  God,  I  read 
my  own  and  my  children's  interest.  I  hope  your  ex- 
perience shall  be  in  the  107  Psalm,  28.  If  not  wholly, 
it  shall  terminate  in  Psalm  xxiii.  4.  Though  you 
walk  through  the  valley  of  the  shadow  of  death,  you 
shall  fear  no  evil,  for  this  God,  who  is  your  guide,  even 
unto  death,  shall  be  with  you,  his  rod  and  staff  shall 
comfort  you  ;  and  our  darling  J — y,  he  shall  carry  as  a 
lamb  in  his  arms,  and  hide  her  from  the  horrors,  in  his 
bosom.  I  dwell  much  on  these  subjects,  and  I  feel 
comforted,  whatever  be  the  event. 

If  the  Lord  has  carried  you  safe  through,  -  and  you 
live  to  read  this  in  the  body,  know  that  our  God  con- 
tinues to  bless  us  abundantly,  in  health,  peace  and 
plenty,  as  to  temporals ;  we  also  experience  the  peace 
of  his  Covenant,  and  have  tastes  of  the  bread  and  of 
the  water  of  life.  Thanks,  all  thanks  to  our  new  Cove- 
nant Head,  for  the  stability  of  the  Covenant;  we 
change,  but  he  changeth  not.  He  himself  is  the  Co- 
venant given  to  the  people,  and  because  he  lives,  his 
people  shall  live  also,  in  spite  of  Satan,  and  his  col- 
league sin,  in  our  hearts ;  sin  may,  and  does  bring  his 
people  into  captivity,  but  it  shall  not  keep  them  in 
bondage  for  ever.  The  time  of  deliverance  'shall  come, 
when  they  shall  revive  as  the  corn,  $*c.  Oh  !  is  it  not  a 
well-ordered  covenant,  and  sure  ! 


May  10,   1801. 

MY    DEAR    CHILDREN, 

Last  evening  was   preparation  sermon,  Mr.  Y- 


preached  a  very  excellent  sermon  from  the  song  of  So- 
lomon, who  is  this  that  cometh  up  from  the  wilderness  lean- 
wg  on  her  beloved  ?     First  the  wilderness  of  this  world, 


31&  LETTERS, 

next  the  church  coming  up,  then  the  attitude  leaning,  ant? 
on  whom;  I  thought  the  simile  well  supported,  and  prac- 
tical, as  he  went  on.  His  application  was  rich  on  the 
Christian's  support,  where  he  brought  into  view  many 
of  the  names  of  Christ. 

After  sermon,  we  witnessed  a  most  affecting  scene  ; 
two  female  members  rebuked  and  restored  to  the  com- 
munion of  the  church.  Neyer,  never,  did  our  dear 
Mr.  M—  shine  so  bright  in  my  eyes ;  many  tears  were 
shed.  I  knew  nothing  of  ft,  and  wondered  to  what  he 
was  leading,  when  he  addressed  the  congregation  after 
sermon,  upon  Christian  walk,  watchfulness,  and  tempt- 
ation, and  the  distress  occasioned  in  Christian  Society, 
when  any  of  the  members  were  left  to  fall  into  open 
and  aggravated  sin.  Such  was  the  case  in  our 
own  congregation;  two,  (naming  the  offenders,)  had 
been  so  far  left,  but  while  deeply, wounded  by  the  sin 
and  scandal,  he  was  consoled  by  their  penitence :  he 
assured  the  congregation  that  they  had  given  great 
evidence  of  deep  contrition;  and  were  now  come  fcr- 
ward  to  acknowledge  their  crime  before  their'ofiended. 
and  grieved  brethren,  and  t.o  give  all  the  satisfaction 
in  their  power,  by  submitting  to  the  censure  of  the 
Church  in  this  public  manner,  which  although  painful 
to  him,  he  must  pronounce  according  to  >  God's  ap- 
pointment. They  who  sin  before  #//,  rebuke  before  all. 
He  then  made  them  stand  up ;  scarce  an  individual 
turned  to  look ;  many  were  weeping,  while  he  laid  be- 
fore them  their  guilt  in  strong,  yet  tender,  terms ;  and 
finished  by  expressing  his  approbation  of  their  thus  sub- 
mitting to  the  rod ;  pronounced  their  absolution,  and 
gave  them  an  exhortation  to  humility,  and  redoubled 
watchfulness.  Then,  again  he  addressed  the  mem- 
bers, requesting  them  to  receive  into  their  Christian 


LETTERS.  317 

love  and  affection  their  repenting,  returning,  sisters; 
that  they  would  treat  them  with  tenderness,  and  re- 
store them  in  the  spirit  of  meekness,  considering 
themselves  as  also  in  the  body,  and  subject  to  tempta- 
tion. "  Let  no  one  put  them  in  remembrance  of  the 
sin  which  the  Father  of  mercies  has  blotted  out,  nor 
open  those  wounds  which  he  has  closed.  He  doth  not 
chide  continually,  nor  retain  his  anger  for  everP  But  I 
can  do  no  justice  to  the  melting  tenderness  of  his  ad- 
dress. Afterwards,  the  youngest  brought  her  babe  to 
the  font  of  Baptism,  and  here,  and  in  prayer,  Mr. 
M —  was  very  particular.  She  appeared  to  be  weep- 
ing all  the  time. 

May  the  Lord  bless  the  discipline  of  his  church; 
may  he  meet  us  to-morrow  with  multiplied  pardons; 
may  he  melt  our  hearts  to  contrition,  heal  our  back- 
slidings,  and  manifest  himself  as  married  unto  us ; 
may  he  bring  us  into  his  banqueting  house ;  may  his 
banner  over  us  be  love ;  may  his  Grace  be  magnified, 
and  his  name  glorified ;  and  may  he  send  a  portion  to 
my  dear  children — yea,  a  Benjamin *s  portion;  may  he 
open  wide  the  leaves  of  that  New  Testament,  and  let 
them  read  their  rich  inheritance,  and  rejoice  in  their 
portion. 

Two  days  more  will  fill  up  seven  weeks  since  you 
sailed ;  but  from  every  account  of  the  winds,  you  have 
not  reached  port,  at  least  a  port  on  earth. 

Farewell,  my  dear  children.  The  Lord  bless  you, 
keep  you,  guide  you,  and  cause  his  face  to  shine  on 
you, 

Prays  your  affectionate  Mother. 


318  LETTERS. 

May  21,  180L 
I  would  fain  begin  to  hope,  that  my  dear  children 
are  now  on,  or  near,  the  green  fields  of  Albion, 
Many  a  severe  gale  has  agitated  them,  and  tried 
their  faith  and  confidence  before  this  day.  But  as  he 
who  sitteth  on  the  clouds,  commanding  and  governing 
the  elements,  is  their  own  God  in  Covenant,  who  loves 
them,  careth  for  them,  and  perfects  what  concerns 
them ;  I  hope  they  have  had  much  of  his  presence : 
I  hope  they  have  found,  even  on  the  boisterous 
ocean,  amidst  the  horrors  of  the  swelling  deep,  agitat- 
ed with  winds  and  tempests,  all  things  necessary  to 
life  and  godliness  in  these  great  and  precious  promises* 
accompanied  by  divine  power,  by  which  they  are  made 
partakers  of  divine  life,  and  escape  the  pollution  that 
is  in  the  world  through  lust.  I  hope  they  are  enrich- 
ed in  experience,  and  advanced  in  the  divine  life,  by  all 
they  have  suffered,  and  all  they  have  tasted,  of  divine 
support  in  their  sufferings.;  that  Christ  is  still  more 
precious,  his  word  more  tried,  and  their  confidence  in 
him  more  established :  if  so,  great  is  their  gain.  And 
our  darling  J.  being  a  sharer  in  the  suffering,  shall, 
at  her  God's  hand,  be  also  a  gainer,  though  it  be  not 
evident  to  our  perception.  O  how  rich  is  the  Chris- 
tian!  how  inexhaustible  his  portion!  his  table  is  ever 
furnished,  his  cup  ever  full;  all  is  blessing,  no  curse 
mingled ;  that  our  Surety  took  to  himself;  prosperity 
and  adversity,  sickness  and  health,  light  and  darknessT 
all,  all,  shall  bless  us,  work  for  our  good,  turn  to  our 
profit,  and  end  in  the  glory  of  God,  and  our  unspeak- 
able, inconceivable,  happiness. 

I  have  been  here  a  week  yesterday;  all  vegetable 
nature  glows  and  shines  in  the  perfection  of  beauty; 
flowers,  shrubs,  trees,  grain,  grass,  falling  waters  turn- 


LETTERS.  319 

mg  the  busy  mill,  the  bubbling  brook  trotting  on  its 
way  to  the  ocean,  fit  emblem  of  eternity,  ail  glorify 
their  Creator;  and  although  no  such  birds,  as  in  Bri- 
tain, charm  the  listening  ear,  we  have  some  sweet 
cliirpers  of  his  praise ;  and  what  is  wanting  to  the  ear, 
is  made  up  to  the  eye,  for  in  beauty  they  excel. 

These  I  may  enjoy;  with  these  hold  communion; 
for,  oh !  spiritual  death  holds  all  within  these  walls  in 
dismal  bondage;  not  one  symptom  of  life  appears, 
but  death,  as  the  dry  bones  in  the  valley  of  vision. 
Why  do  I  not  wrestle  more  for  the  Spirit  to  breathe 
on  them.     I  do  pray :  but  Oh !  formal !  formal ! 

June  17,  1801. 

MY  DEAR  CHILDREN, 

Difficult  it  is  for  me  to  exercise  patience ;  the 
23d  of  this  month  will  make  three  months  since  you 
waved  the  handkerchief  on  board  the  Mars  off  the 
Battery.  I  had  made  up  my  mind  not  to  give  way  to 
expectation,  short  of  three  months ;  they  are  nearly 
past;  how  many  events  take  place  in  that  space  of  time f 
how  many  duties  ought  to  be  performed  !  how  many 
sins  are  really  committed!  how  guilty  to  wish  to  anni- 
hilate the  time  that  a  certain  event  may  come  round ! 
every  moment  of  which  we  must  account  for,  and  one 
moment  of  which  we  cannot  recall.  Much  has  pass- 
ed over  your  heads  in  that  time ;  much  you  have  seen ; 
much  you  have  suffered ;  much,  perhaps,  also  enjoyed  : 
for  the  Lord  can  give  songs  in  the  night,  and  in  a 
dungeon.  Surely,  his  salvation  is  near  to  them  that 
fear  him — to  them  there  is  no  want.  The  Lord  is  their 
Shepherd,  he  feedeth  them  in  green  pastures,  beside 
the  gently  flowing  waters ;  if  they  wander,  he  restoreth 
them,  perhaps  with  the  rod,  but  it  is  the  rod  of  love  \ 


320  fcETTERS. 

they  need  not  be  afraid  to  enter  even  the  valley  of  the 
shadow  of  death  ;  their  shepherd  is  with  them,  and 
his  rod  (rod  of  support)  and  staff  shall  comfort  them. 
I  hope  this  has  been  a  profitable  time  to  you  both ; 
that  you  have  seen  more  of  the  evil  of  sin,  and  of 
your  own  hearts,  their  deceitful,  double  turnings  and 
windings,  to  cover  and  conceal  the  enemy  of  God 
and  your  own  souls  :  more  of  the  extent  and  spiritual- 
ity of  the  divine  law,  fulfilled  indeed  in  every  jot  and 
tittle  by  your  surety;  but  sTill  doubly  binding  on  you 
as  a  rule  of  life,  in  the  hand  of  your  Redeemer, 
who  hath  bought  you  to  himself,  and  taken  you 
into  his  own  hands,  that  you  might  be  a  holy 
people  to  himself,  delivered  not  merely  from  the 
penalty  and  curse,  but  from  the  power  and  indwel- 
ling of  sin.  I  hope  you  have  seen  more  of  the  un- 
searchable riches  of  Christ  in  ail  he  has  done,  and  is 
now  doing  for  your,  and  his  Church's  happiness,  and 
of  those  exceeding  great  and  precious  promises  by 
which  you  are  made  partakers  of  the  divine  life,  and 
privileged  to  escape  the  pollution  that  is  in  the  world 
through  lust ;  more  of  the  faithfulness  of  God,  as  a 
God  in  Christ,  pardoning  sin,  and  reconciling  you  to 
himself;  and  day  by  day,  teaching  you  by  his  word, 
Spirit,  and  Providences.  O  I  am  but  just  beginning  to 
see  that  I  am  blind  ;  my  own  character  opening  upon 
me  as  a  sinner,  in  heart,  tongue,  and  conduct,  against 
my  God,  my  neighbour,  and  my  own  soul ;  how  comes 
it  then,  that  I  am  at  ease  in  God's  world  ;  in  health,  in 
peace,  in  comfort,  and  all  in  an  extraordinary  degree 
as  to  temporals :  and  as  to  spirituals,  though  grieved 
with  self,  my  joy  in  Christ  also  abounds.  Oh,  Oh,  Oh  ! 
can  I  believe  it  ?  what  can  I  say  ?  what  can  I  render  to 
the  Lord  for  all  his  gifts  to  me  ?    Nothing  can  I,  but 


LETTERS.  321 

j List  take  the  cup  of  salvation,  calling  upon  the  name 
of  the  Lord,  and  remain  an  eternal  debtor  to  his  grace 
for  spirituals  and  temporals. 

There  is  great  news  from  Tennessee,  of  a  remarka- 
ble concern  there  ;  there  is  a  camp  half  a  mile  in 
length,  where  people  have  gathered  with  their  fami- 
lies, and  provision  in  waggons,  to  hear  the  word  of 
life  :  ministers  have  also  assembled  from  all  quarters, 
and  of  different  denominations.  One  of  the  missionaries 
belonging  to  the  General  Assembly  writes  this,  and 
that  the  number  of  ministers  had  increased  from  one  to 
nineteen ;  that  when  he  passed,  they  had  begun  upon 
the  Sabbath,  and  continued,  without  separating,  night 
and  day,  'till  Tuesday  ;  but  say  little  of  this  'till  I 
write  again.  There  is  another  of  less  importance,  or 
rather  less  conspicuous,  at  Bloomfield,  New-Jersey. 
O  pray  the  Lord  of  the  harvest  to  thrust  out  labour- 
ers. 


June  26,  1801. 

MY    DEAR    CHILDREN, 

I  now  begin  to  be  very  anxious  ;  friends  tell  me,  that 
considering  the  quick  passages  of  vessels  coming  here, 
while  you  were  going,  I  ought  not  to  look  for  letters 
so  soon :  it  may  be  so,  but  still  my  mind  works.  How- 
ever, by  this  time  the  Lord's  will  is  done  ;  you  are  al- 
ready in  port,  on  earth  or  in  Heaven.  Blessed  al- 
ternative !  Ought  I  to  be  sad,  wTho  can  say,  or  in 
Heaven  ?  Oh  no,  1  trust  Grace  will  be  given  to  ac- 
quiesce in  his  most  blessed  will,  a  most  gracious  will 
it  has  been  to  me  and  mine. 

2  S 


32: 


LETTERS-. 


I  wrote  you  in  my  last,  that  our  dear  Mr.  M- 


v  ,  ™_  fcf_  , 

leaves  us  next  month  for  Britain  ;   his  errand  is  to  state 
the  situation  of  this  country,  as  greatly  in  want  of  mi- 
nisters, and  the  means  of  educating  ministers.     Many 
of  bis  people  are  dissatisfied,  as  he  has  two  congrega- 
tions to  supply,  and  a  large  family  of  his  own.     Why 
should  he  be  the  man  ?     For  my  own  part,  1  think  he 
is  \]iq  very  man  ;  and  I  am  thankful  to  feel  a  degree  of 
disinterestedness.    Though  !  love  my  minister,  value  his 
ministry  and  his  person,  I  "hope  the  general  interest  of 
Christ's  body  is  more  dear  to  me,  and  of  infinitely  more 
importance   than  my  private  comfort,  which,  after  all, 
I  do  not  believe   can  suffer    by  parting  cheerfully  with 
its  apparent  food  to  Christ,  who  himself  is  the  sum  and 
substance  of  all  that  any  minister  can    be  instrumental 
in  conveying.  All  means  are  alike  to  him,  or  no  means.  ■ 
I  therefore  rejoice  in  his  will,  and  pray  that  the  Lord 
may  prosper  him,  give  him  a  double  portion  of  his  Spi- 
rit, and  favour  in  the  eyes  of  all  whose  influence  is  ne- 
cessary  to   advance  the  Redeemer's  kingdom  in  Ame- 
rica. .  '  . 

Our  friend,  Mrs.  K — ,  is  gone  ;  she  died  suddenly: 
both  Mr.  and  Mrs.  T —  died  at  their  country  seat;  he 
first — she  fancied  she  was  getting  better.  The  physi- 
cian advised  her  not  to  ride,  as  she  could  not  stand  the 
fatigue  ;  she  had  more  faith  in  air  and- exercise  :  the 
last  dciy  she  went  out,  she  fainted,  getting  into  the 
carriage,  and  again  coming  out ;  and  died  in  the  after- 
noon. She  lived  near  us,  yet  I  never  saw  her,  nor 
offered , -one  kind  office  towards  the  salvation  of  her 
soul,  which,  if  lost,  leaves  me  not  innocent  of  her 
blood,  and  if  saved,  as  I -hope  it  may  be,  my  sinful  ne- 
glect is  not  the  less.  V*  hat  a  picture  in  them  of  the 
vainly  of  all  under  the  sun :  and  in  me,  of  the  evil  of 


LETTERS.  323 

procrastination,  for  I  meant  to  visit  her.  O  my  Sa- 
viour! is  this  the  return  I  make  for  the  millions  of  par- 
dons, which  thou  hast  past  on  my  account;  sparing 
even  the  rod,  and  blessing  me  with  health,  restored 
limbs,  and  mercy  on  mercy,  comfort  on  comfort  !  1 
want  words  to  paint  my  abominable  ingratitude,  indo- 
lence, and  cruel iy;  and  jet,  O  jet,  I  am  spared,  and 
my  mercies  are  spared,  as  far  as  I  know — but  trial 
maj  be  at  hand.  Perhaps  I  write  what  mj  children 
may  never  read.  Well,  even  then  mercy,  mercy  shall 
be  my  song  ;  for  if  so,  I  sing  the  song  on  earth,  which 
they  sing  in  Heaven.  I  am  just  going  to  town  to  attend 
preparation  Sermon.     Our  feast  is  on  Sabbath. 


My  17,  1801. 

What  shall  I  render  to  the  Lord  for  all  his  mercies  ; 
mercies  temporal,  mercies  spiritual,  mercies  eternal, 
multiplied  mercies  !  The  one  thing  that  I  asked  of  the 
Lord  has  been  answered  in  full,  and  O,  how  much  ad- 
ded !  God  himself  become  ray  salvation,  and  the  salva- 
tion of  my  house  :  how  unspeakable  the  blessing!  Altho' 
chastisement  and  affliction  were  the  means  of  correction 
and  sanctification,  or  even  the  vengeance  taken  on  my  in- 
ventions, yet  as  a  God,  he  at  the  same  timepardoncth. 
For  oil  !  my  character  is  ever  the  same  with  backslid- 
ing Judah,  and  treacherous  Israel,  Glory  to  that  name 
which  is  ever  the  same,  and  changeth  not.  Tht  Lord, 
the  Lord  God,  merciful  and  gracious,  long  suffering, 
abundant  in  goodiUoS  and  truth,  forgiving  i/iicrai'j/.  trans- 
gression (h;d  sin.  This  was  his  name  among  a  stiff 
necked  people,  an  idolatrous,  ungrateful  people ;  this 
is  hi-  name  to  me  alike   in  character.     O   how   h< 


324  LETTERS. 

magnified  this  name  to  me,  a  backslider  in  heart  and 
life  ;  multiplying  pardons  while  I  have  multiplied  trans- 
gressions :  still  he  has  been  last  with  me,  healing  my 
backsliding ;  restoring  my  soul ;  leading  me  to  the  open 
fountain;  giving  faith  to  wash,  and  joy  and  peace  in 
believing  ;  not  only  so,  but  in  this  land  of  drought, 
this  vast  howling  wilderness,  this  vale  of  tears,  where 
man  is  bom  to  trouble  as  the  sparks  flij  upwards,  my  cup 
with  temporal  comfort  is  fyjl  and  running  over ;  all  his 
creatures  minister  to  my  comfort,  and  as  days  and  nights. 
roll  on,  his  daily  providence  adds,  and  diminishes  not. 
I  had  hardly  hoped  to  see  the  faces  of  my  children 
again  ;  for  he  commanded  and  raised  the  stormy  winds, 
and  lifted  up  the  waves  of  the  sea  ;  they  mounted  to 
Heaven,  and  sunk  again  to  the  deep ;  death,  with  all 
its  natural  horrors,  surrounded  them  ;  the  deep  yawn- 
ed to  devour  them ;  but  God,  their  own  God.  was  at 
hand,  their  anchor  of  hope;  their  ark  of  safety;  their 
hiding  place,  'till  the  calamity  was  past  ;  they  cried  to 

him  and  he  saved  them  out  of  their  distresses,  he  made  the 

•  * 
storm  a  calm,  and  the  waves   thereof  still,  and  brought 

them  to  the  desired  haven.     This  trouble,  was    not  unto 

death,  but  for  the  glory  of  God,  and  the  exercising  of 

your  faith,  for   the    manifestation   of    his  power  and 

goodness,  and  the  enriching  of  your  experience. 

O  then  let  us  praise  the  Lord  for  his  goodness  and  for 

his  wonderful  icorks  to  the  children  of  men.     Let  us  exalt 

him  in  the  congregation  of  his  people,  and  praise  him  in 

the  assembly  of  the  ciders. 


MY    DEAR    CHILDREN, 

Yours  of  July  3d,  from  Glasgow,  is  to  me  like  cold 
water   to   the  thirsty  soul.     I  thank  my  dear  J — that 


LETTERS.  325 

tired  and  fatigued  as  she  was,  she  sacrificed  her  ne- 
cessary rest  to  the  relief  of  her  anxious  mother.  I 
hope  iny  God  did  not  allow  her  to  be  a  sufferer ;  yet, 
my  dear,  two  sheets  were  not  necessary  to  my  relief, 
though  every  line  in  them  was  interesting.  To  hear 
of  the  attentions  of  our  dear  countrymen,  must  be 
gratifying ;  to  learn  that  your  health  permits  you  to 
accept  of  these,  more  so  ;  to  hear  of  your  attention, 
and  that  of  others,  to  my  lonely  sister,  is  soothing. 
But  O,  words  are  wanting  to  express  the  delight  of  my 
soul,  on  reading  of  the  Lord's  goodness  to  your  soul ; 
in  dispensing  to  you  so  liberally  the  bread  and  the  water 
of  life  ;  yea,  feasting  you  on  the  dainties  of  his  house, 
along  with  his  choice  favourites,  giving  you  to  see  the 
good  of  his  chosen,  and  to   rejoice  in  their  joy.     O  my 

dear  J ,  what  hath  God  done  for  us  in  spirituals, 

and  in  temporals  !  his  dealings  with  us  have  not  been 
ordinary.  O  how  stately  have  been  his  steps  in  almost 
all  his  providences  !  I  bless  my  God,,  with  my  whole 
soul,  and  all  that  is  within  me  ;  I  desire  to  bless  him, 
that  while  he  gave  you  favour  with  all,  he  attached  you 
most  closely  to  his  own,  the  excellent  ones  of  the  earth; 
to  them  he  led  you,  with  them  he  fed  you,  giving  you 
credit  with  them,  and  a  name  and  a  place  in  his  house. 
O'Lord,  what  can  thy  servant  say?  thou  art  thyself,  I 
AM  THAT  I  AM,  is  thy  name  ;  wisdom,  power,  jus- 
tice, goodness,  and  truth,  are  thine  essential  qualities. 
But  O  thy  long  suffering,  thy  patience,  thine  unspeak- 
able mercy,  thy  pardoning,  thy  restoring,  thy  healing, 
thy  consoling  mercy,  is  the  wonder  of  wonders!  andO, 
how  is  the  wonder  increased,  when  I  consider  the  ob- 
jects of  it !  0  now,  my  dear  children,  let  us  live  to 
his  glory ;  surely  mercy  is  his  darling  attribute,  and  judg- 
ment his  strange  work.  Eternity  will  prove  too  short  to 
^ing  of  his  mercy,  and  who  ought  to  sing  as  loud  as  we? 


326  LETTERS, 

October  23,  180L 
Surely,  surely,  my  heart  feels  grateful  for  the  time, 
though  this,  like  every  other  good  motion  will,  like  the 
morning  dew,  soon  pass  away. 

My  children  not  only  preserved  through  the  tem- 
pestuous storms  that  threatened  death  with  circumstan- 
ces shocking  to  nature ;  but  my  poor  sick  child  pre- 
served during  a  long  fatiguing  journey :  that  journey 
made  comfortable,  yea,  delightful,  by  the  warm  recep- 
tion of  many  kind  friends,  clear  to  nature,  and  many 
doubly  endeared  by  Grace;  among  the  last  the  mother 
and  sisters  of  the  kindest  and  best  of  husbands;  they 
receiving  her  as  their  own  flesh  and  blood,  as  well  a? 
their  fellow  member  in  Christ ;  blest  with  a  measure 
of  health  to  enjoy  all,  and  a  measure  of  grace  to  profit 
by  all;  eying  by  faith  the  dear  invisible  hand  of  a  Co- 
venant God— preserving,  leading,  guiding  through 
every  step — His  love  the  marrow7  of  the  whole,  and. 
their  charter  for  safety,  even  amidst  the  dangers  of 
prosperity.  Is  not  godliness  gain?  profitable  for  this 
life,  as  well  as  that,  which  is  to  come.  What  is  the 
portion  of  the  worldling?  even  in  this  life,  u  shadowy 
joy,  or  solid  wo,"  without  a  balance  to  the  first,  or 
consolation  in  the  last ;  no  sure  footing  in  the  one, 
nor  support  in  the  other;  distanced  from  the  fountain 
of  happiness  by  nature,  prosperity  encrusts  their 
hearts,  and  increases  their  carnality ;  nestling  in  their 
worldly  comforts,  they  forget  they  are  the  creatures 
of  a  day,  that  an  endless  eternity  lies  before  them,, 
and  only  the  feeble,  uncertain  thread  of  life  between, 
them  and  that  curse  under  which  they  were  born.  Not 
so  the  child  of  God;  all  things  work  together  for  his 
good,  all  filings ;  his  standing  is  not  in  himself;  his 
footsteps  are  directed  by  infinite  wisdom;  he  is  kept 
by  the  power  of  God,  through  faith   unto   salvation. 


LETTERS.  327 

Nothing  can  separate  him  from  the  love  of  God.  His 
life  is  hid  with  Christ  in  God  :  there  is  cause  to  rejoice 
always  ;  his  privileges  are  boundless,  infinite,  for  God 
himself  is  become  his  salvation.  Have  we  then  any 
cause  for  fear?  Yes,  my  children,  yes  ;  though  nothing 
can  rob  us  of  our  charter,  there  is  another  side  to  be 
beheld.  In  Christ  we  have  all  things  richly  to  enjoy, 
but  we  have  not  all  in  possession;  what  we  have  is 
by  faith;  all  is  secured  by  our  surety  for  eternity. 
We  shall  overcome  by  the  blood  of  the  Lamb :  but 
by  the  constitution  of  the  Covenant,  we  must  enter 
into  that  rest,  that  perfect  rest,  through  great  tribu- 
lation. While  our  eternal  salvation  is  secured  by  our 
Surety,  it  hath  pleased  Infinite  Wisdom  to  appoint  an- 
other connexion,  which  shall  exist  while  we  remain  in 
these  clay  tabernacles:  even  the  connexion  between 
our  steadfastness,  consequently  our  comfort,  and  the 
means  of  grace  which  he  hath  appointed ;  making  the 
first  to  depend  in  a  great  measure  on  our  diligent  use 
of  the  last,  insomuch,  that  a  great  number  of  the 
promises  are  proposed  conditionally.  Many  exhorta- 
tions are  given  in  this  view,  and  also  many  thrcatcn- 
ings.  They  that  wait  on  the  Lord  shall  renew  their 
strength,  kc.  Seek  and  ye  shall  find,  ask  and  ye  shall 
receive,  knock  and  it  shall  be  opened  unto  you.  Abide  in 
me ;  as  the  branch  cannot  bear  fruit  of  itself]  no  more 
can  ye,  except  ye  abide  in  me.  Close,  intimate,  near 
communion  wit.lv  God,  is  to  be  sought  by  means  of 
prayer,  meditation,  and  reading..  If  the  Christian  be 
careful  to  husband  time,  and  set  apart  a  portion  for 
God,  and  set  about  these  duties,  he  will  not  always 
miss  communion,  and  this  prepares  him  for  other  du- 
ties, and  arms  him  against  temptation;  as  the  promise 
is  concerned  to  keep  him  in  perfect  peace,  whose  mind 


328  .     LETTERS* 

is  stayed  on  him.  If  ye,  being  evil,  know  how  to  giVt 
good  gifts  to  your  children,  how  much  more  will  your 
heavenly  Father  give  his  holy  Spirit  to  them  that  ask  him* 
So  shall  ye  know  the  Lord,  if  ye  follow  on  to  know  him. 
Delight  thyself  in  God,  he  will  give  thee  -the  desire  of 
thine  heart.  Nevertheless,  I  will  be  inquired  of  by  the 
house  of  Israel,  SCc.  If  his  children  forsake  my  laws 
and  go  astray,  I  will  visit  their  faults,  frc.  Watch  and 
pray,  that  ye  enter  not  into  temptation.  But  thou,  when 
thou  pray  est,  enter  into  thy"  closet,  frc. ;  thy  Father  who 
seeth  in  secret  shall  reward  thee  openly.  All  is  laid  before 
us  in  the  Scriptures,  in  the  view  of  comfort,  during 
our  pilgrimage,  as  well  as  the  certainty  of  our  inherit- 
ance in  the  end;  the  ground  whereon  we  stand,  our 
danger,  and  the  means  of  safety.  See  Ephesians  vi.  11. 
There  is  provision  made  in  the  Covenant  for  great 
comfort,  consistent  with  human  frailty  and  imperfec- 
tion :  but  not  with  carelessness  and  negligence. 
While,  therefore,  we  rejoice  in  the  Lord,  we  have 
good  reason  to  join  trembling  with  our  mirth.  While 
standing  high  in  comfort,  to  take 'heed,  les*  we  fall, 
through  the  deceitfulness  of  sin.  We  carry  about 
with  us  a  body  of  sin  and  death  ;  the  Ddvil,  like  a  roar- 
ing lion,  goeth  about  seeking  ivhom  he  may  devour.  We 
wrestle  not  with  flesh  and  blood,  but  with  principalities  and 
powers,  8fc.  &c.  We  live  in  a  world  lying  in  wicked- 
ness; the  captives  of  sin  and  Satan  exerting  every 
faculty  to  banish  all  thoughts  of  God,  death,  and  Eter- 
nity; contriving  with  unwearied  industry,  and  amaz- 
ing ingenuity,  new  gratifications  for  body  and  mind 
in  endless  variety,  suited  to  all  constitutions,  all  tem- 
pers and  dispositions,  and  to  those  in  all  circumstances. 
Of  these,  the  most  rational,  are  the  most  subtile,  and 
in  the  hand  of  the  enemy  the  most  calculated  to  keep 


LETTERS.  329 

men  ignorant  of  themselves,  their  misery,  and  of  the 
great  salvation :  and,  alas !  by  these  he  often  spoils 
unwary  Christians,  who,  though  heirs  of  heaven,  heirs 
of  God,  and  joint  heirs  with  Christ,  are,  during  their 
minority,  subject  to  like  passions  with  them,  and  ever 
in  danger  of  being  spoiled  of  their  comforts  when  off 
their  guard. 

With  the  people  of  the  world,  Christians  have  much 
to  do :  they  are  fellow  members  of  society  with  them ; 
they  have  many  duties  to  perform  to  them,  with  them, 
and  by  them ;  many  of  the  things  of  the  world  are  ne- 
cessary to  them,  many  of  its  pleasures  lawful ;  for  the 
earth  is  the  Lord's,  and  the  fulness  thereof  and  he  gives 
them  of  it,  as  his  wisdom  sees  good  for  them.  That 
which  he  gives  them  they  gather  in  the  same  manner, 
and  in  society,  with  the  world,  by  industry  and  dili- 
gence in  their  lawful  calling  and  business.  Keeping 
near  the  Captain  of  salvation,  and  armed  in  his  whole 
armour,  they  are  safe.  When  off  their  guard,  the  vi- 
gilant enemy  gains  some  advantage,  and  they  get  into 
trouble.  O  how  many  gracious  names  our  dear  Re- 
deemer has  assumed  in  his  word,  for  our  comfort,  our 
meditation,  our  spiritual  exercise !  how  pleasant  and 
delightful  in  the  light  of  his  countenance  to  analyze 
them  !  Beside  the  names  peculiar  to  himself  as  God 
man ;  how  many  has  he  condescended  to  take  from 
among  men,  and  the  natural  comforts  and  safe-guards 
of  men !  Our  Shepherd,  our  Rock,  our  Ark,  all  the 
relations  in  life,  and  ends  with  our  Jill  in  all.  But  I 
must  have  done,  that  I  may  te\\  you  that  goodness  and 
mercy  follow  us  in  this  family  also. 


2  T 


330  LETTERS. 

December  7,  1801, 
I  have  received  my  dear  J — 's  three  letters  from 
Dingwall :  fresh  matter  of  praise  to  our  Covenant  God- 
You  have  had  your  season  of  affliction ;  and  now  you 
have  a  season  of  refreshing,  a  resting  time.  The 
cup  of  the  Christian  is  always  more  or  less  mixed. 
Your  afflictions  have  ever  been  mixed  with  much  mer- 
cy, and  now  your  season  of  rest  is  also  mixed.  I  _  we'll 
know  that  no  temporal  comfort  can  compensate  the 
absence  of  your  justly  beloved  D — ■,  nor  can  any 
object  but  your  God  render  it  bearable.  He,  how- 
ever, who  is  the  God  of  both,  who  goes  with  him  and 
stays  with  you,  can,  not  only  support,  but  comfort. 
The  omniscient,  the  omnipresent,  the  omnipotent 
God,  is  our  God,  and  the  God  of  our  house;  all  that 
he  is,  is  ours  to  bless  us.  Behold  God  is  become  our 
salvation.  Every  endearing  name  known  among  men. 
,  he  takes  to  himself  to  inspire  us  with  pleasing  con- 
fidential love;  every  name  that  connects  the  idea  oi 
protection,  to  keep  our  minds  in  quiet  peace,  in  the 
assurance  of  safety.  .  Father,  Husband,  Brother,  Friend. 
Prophet,  Priest,  King,  Physician,  Help,  Health,  Light, 
Life,  Counsellor,  Guide,  Sanctuary,  Jlrichor.  But  I 
should  fill  my  sheet.  I  said  it  all  at  first :  God  is  ours/ 
and  ours  with  the  knowledge  of  all  our  backslidings, 
which  he  heals ;  our  wanderings,  which  he  restores, 
and  our  sins  which  he  forgives ;  one  of  his  names  is 
the  God  of  pardons.  Mercy  is  his  darling  attribute, 
that  in  which  he  delights.  Are  we  not  his  witnesses? 
What  has  our  .whole  life  been,  but  sin,  backslidings? 
and  wanderings?  what  have  his  dealings  with,  us 
been,  but  pardons,  healings,  restorations  ?  Therefore 
we  remain,  as  at  this  day,  with  our  desires  towards- 
him>  and  our  faces  Zion- wards.     What  he  hath  begun 


LETTERS.  331 

he  will  perfect,  and  in  a  little  while  our  eyes  shall  be- 
hold him,  our  hearts  shall  enjoy  him,  we  shall  be  like 
him,  and  see  him  as  he  is. 


December  2Q,  1801. 

I  rejoice  over  my  dear  children,  and  bless  our  gra- 
cious God  that  he  has  led  them  a  sweet  and  most  de- 
lightful sojourning  among  his  churches,  animating  their 
spirits  by  their  mutual  communion  ;  blessing  them, 
and  I  hope  making  them  blessings.  I  pray  the  Lord 
may  make  our  dear  D.  an  instrument  among  others  of 
spreading  his  Gospel,  building  up  his  Church,  and 
pulling  down  the  strong  holds  of  Satan :  and  that  you 
may  be  in  your  place  a  help  meet  for  him,  in  this  as  in 
every  thing  else.  May  the  Lord  choose  his  path, 
and  direct  his  steps,  and  yours  with  him.  Women 
were  helpers  of  the  apostles  and  others  in  Paul's  days : 
at  the  same  time  care  must  ever  be  taken  not  to  obtrude 
in  any  respect.  I  pray  that  you  may  be  kept  spiritual 
and  humble:  eminence  in  God's  service,  is  truly  desi- 
rable, if  the  heart  be  kept  humble.  If  the  Lord  open 
the  eyes  to  behold  more  of  the  extent  and  spirituality 
of  his  law,  the  holiness  and  purity  of  his  nature,  the 
evil  of  sin,  and  its  contrariety  to  all  that  is  in  God ; 
and  if  he  turn  the  eyes  inward  to  the  hidden  corrup- 
tions of  the  heart,  when  it  is  evident  to  the  soul 
that  all  is  of  Grace,  then  may  eminent  services  be 
safe. 

/  abhor  myself,  and  repent  in  dust  and  ashes,  was  the 
exercise  of  Job,  and  justly  so.  Job,  who  was  eyes  to 
the  blind,  and  feet  to  the  lame,  a  father  to  the  poor, 
and  the  cause  which  he  knew  not,  he  searched  it  out ; 
when  the  ear  heard  him,  it  blessed  him ;  when  the  eve 


332  LETTERS. 

saw  him  it  gave  witness  to  him ;  who  withheld  not  the 
poor  from  his  desire,  nor  caused  the  eye  of  the  wi- 
dow to  fail ;  the  stranger  did  not  lodge  in  the  street, 
but  he  opened  his  door  unto  the  traveller;  all  this  was 
true  as  far  as  the  external  act,  and  as  he  then  thought, 
with  a  proper  temper  of  heart,  (benevolence.)  Job 
could  justify  himself  before  his  fellow-sinners,  blind 
like  himself:  but  when  God  comes  to  deal  with  him, 
how  different  his  views  !  then  it  was,  Behold  I  am  vile, 
what  shall  I  answer  thee  ?  I  will  lay  my  hand  on  my 
month,  and  my  mouth  in  the  dust.  Even,  with  the 
very  best,  there  is  cause  for  this  exercise,  could  we 
see  in  the  same  light.  How  deceitful  is  the  human 
heart!  how  unfaithful  the  conscience  !  how  little  do 
we  know  of  the  sins  of  our  daily  walk !  We  are  call- 
ed to  watch  and  pray,  that  we  enter  not  into  tempta- 
tion; to  walk  with  God  in  close  intimate  communion: 
whether  we  eat  or  drink,  to  do  all  to  his  glory.  To  con- 
sult him  in  all  the  affairs  of  life,  narrowly  observing  his 
providence,  in  connexion  with  our  circumstances ; 
weighing  all  in  his  presence,  requesting  him' to  deter- 
mine our  wills,  and  direct  our  steps.  We  ought  not  to 
say  we  will  go  into  such  a  city,  and  do  this  or  that;  but 
if  the  Lord  will.  How  inconsistent  our  conduct  with 
these  rules !  How  often  do  haste,  rashness,1  precipita- 
tion, and  self-will,  accompany  our  determinations  arid 
movements  !  and  how  often  does  his  goodness  and 
wisdom  overrule  our  folly;  save  us  from  our  own  pits, 
and  prevent  the  evil  that  might  be  expected  !  At  no 
time  dqes  he  deal  with  us  as  we  sin,  though  sometimes 
he  stands  by  and  allows  us  a  taste  of  our  folly:  then 
we  are  in  trouble,  we  dig  our  pits  and  fall  into,  them, 
but  we  cannot  deliver  ourselves.  O  what  a  God ! 
who,  even  at  such  a  time,   calls  by  his  sure  word. 


LETTERS.  333 

Call  on  me  in  the  time  of  trouble,  I  will  deliver  thee,  end 
thou  shalt  glorify  my  name ;  thou  hast  destroyed  tki  self 
but  in  me  is  thy  help.  Blessed  help  !  mercy  to  pardon, 
goodness  to  restore,  wisdom  to  guide,  faithfulness  to 
carry  through  and  perfect  what  concerns  us;  over- 
ruling our  very  follies,  and  causing  them  to  teach  us 
to  profit.  This  is  God's  way,  according  to  many  de- 
clarations of  himself  in  his  word,  and  experience  of 
all  his  redeemed. 

Blessed  then  is  the  man  that  trusteth  in  the  Lord ; 
they,  truly,  are  a  blessed  people  whose  God  Jehovah  is. 


February,  1802. 

MY  DEAR,  MY  BELOVED  CHILDREN, 

1  trust  the  Lord  is  your  support;  I  know  you 
are  in  trouble ;  it  cannot  be,  that  opportunities  have 
been  wanting  all  this  time ;  nor  can  it  be  that  my 
children  have  been  negligent :  no,  no ;  it  would  be  a 
sad  enough  hope ;  but  I  cannot  suppose  it.  My  chil- 
dren are  in  trouble,  they  could  not  write  that  they 
were  otherwise,  and  therefore  remain  silent,  until  they 
can  write  the  issue.  It  is  proper,  and  sure  the  Lord 
feeds  me  with  comfort.  O  the  comfort  of  knowing 
that  the  almighty  God  is  their  own  reconciled  Father 
by  an  everlasting  Covenant !  Christ  the  Mediator  and 
Surety  ;  Christ  their  Advocate,  Brother  and  Friend  ; 
the  Holy  Ghost,  their  Teacher,  Guide  and  Comforter. 
It  cannot  be  ill  with  my  dear  children,  who  are  also 
God's  dear  children.  My  Father,  I  know  it.  Thou 
chastenest  for  their  profit.  I  know  not  where  they 
are,  nor  how  they  fare.  I  know  not  what  to  ask  for 
them;  but  thou  art  every  where  present,  thine  eve  is 
upon  them,  and  thou  knowest  all  their  wants,  and  all 


334  LETTERS. 

their  burdens,  all  their  bereavements,  or  whatever 
tries  them.  O  let  thy  sensible  presence  be  with  them ! 
open  wide  the  leaves  of  that  New  Testament  in  Christ's 
blood,  and  let  them  read  their  rich  legacy,  their  un- 
searchable riches  in  Christ !  give  them  confidence  in 
thy  wisdom  and  goodness,  and  sweet  acquiescence  in  all 
thy  dealings  with  them.  Thou  hast  spared  in  mercy, 
perhaps  now  thou  hast  taken  in  mercy :  yes,  thy  tender 
mercies  are  over  all  thy  works,  and  a  large  ingredient 
in  every  cup  thou  puttest  into  the  hand  of  thy  children* 
O  it  is  well,  it  is  well ! 

Since  writing  the  above,  I  have  received  my  dear 
D.'s  letter,  second  copy,  by  the  way  of  London.  The 
Lord  is  your  God,  and  the  God  of  your  seed.  John 
the  Baptist  leaped  in  the  womb,  when  the  salutation 
of  Mary  sounded  in  his  mother's  ears ;  he  was  then  a 
living  soul,  arid  an  heir  of  salvation  at  that  moment. 
If  your  babe  was  conceived  in  sin  by  the  first  Cove- 
nant, he  is  an  heir  of  Grace  by  the  second.  Think  it 
not  hard ;  no,  you  do  not  think  it  hard,  that  you  have 
conceived  him  in  sickness,  carried  him  in  sickness,  and 
suffered  the  pangs  of  birth  without  the  succeeding  joy 
to  make  you  forget  your  anguish.  All  this  shall  be 
for  the  glory  of  God,  and  that  is  what  you  seek;  be- 
lieve it  now,  you  shall  see  it  soon.  I  do  sympathize  ; 
my  fond  heart  had  embraced  a  sweet  babe  added -to 
the  family,  for  one  taken.  The  Lord  has  taken  this 
also;  it  is  his  due  ;  I  shall  soon  leave  the  mortal,  and 
join  the  immortal ;  five  have  joined  the  head,  six  re- 
main ;  and  one  i  know  nothing  of,  more  than  that  I 
cast  him  on  the  Lord,  and  look  for  mercy.  I  thank 
my  God  that  he  gave  you  the  grace  of  resignation, 
and  supported  you  in  the  solitary  confinement.  Alas ! 
my  child,  did  you  listen  for  the  voice  of  your  babe? 


LETTERS.  335 

Oh,  what  a  suspense !  but  let  me  stop — he  had  reach- 
ed maturity  ere  that  time;  without  the  fight,  obtained 
the  victory;  he  is  of  the  travail  of  the  Redeemer's  soul ; 
children  arc  God's  heritage,  the  fruit  of  the  ivomb  his 
reward.  Rest  then  in  the  Lord ;  this  is  to  his  glory, 
both  without  and  within  your  soul. 


May  26,  1802. 

MY  DEAR  CHILDREN, 

Here  am  I  in  my  little  room,  surrounded  with 
every  comfort,  and  as  the  provision  of  my  God,  I  va- 
lue all ;  but  there  lies  the  chief,  my  Bible,  the  testa- 
ment of  my  dying,  risen,  ascended,  reigning  Saviour, 
bequeathing  to  me  eternal  life,  executed  in  full,  and 
made  as  sure  as  the  promise  and  oath  of  God  can 
make  it.  The  influences  of  the  Holy  Ghost  on  my 
mind,  taking  of  the  things  of  Christ,  and  showing 
them  unto  me ;  opening  wide  the  leaves  of  that  new 
Jes lament,  in  which  I  read  unsearchable  riches,  and 
my  title  to  them  sure ;  yes,  sure ;  sure,  even  to  me,  a 
base  idolatrous  Gentile,  a  rebel  against  the  eternal 
King,  my  Creator,  Preserver,  Provider;  a  backslider 
in  heart  and  in  life.  What  has  such  a  one  to  do  with 
a  holy  God  ?  Oh  !  because  he  hath  said,  only  return  ; 
and  he  himself  hath  turned  me,  chastened,  convinced, 
restored,  comforted.  His  icays  are  not  as  our  ways, 
?wr  his  thoughts  as  our  thoughts  ;  but  as  the  heavens  are 
above  the  earth,  so  are  his  ways  above  our  ways,  and  his 
thoughts  high  above  our  thoughts,  and  his  plans  above  our 
conception.  For  although  it  is  for  ever  true,  that  he 
is  of  purer  cues  than  to  behold  evil,  and  cannot  look  on 
iniquity  ;  that  his  law  has  announced  a  curse  upon  the 
transgressor  who  keepeth  it  not  in  every  jot  and  tittle ; 


336  LETTERS. 

it  is  for  ever  true,  that  this  God  is  unchangeable  in 
his  nature  and  purposes.  What  he  hath  said,  that 
will  he  do.  It  is  for  ever  true,  that  I  am  all  I  have 
said,  and  worse,  a  sinner  in  heart,  tongue,  and  prac- 
tice. Yet  am  I  a  beloved  child,  a  justified  one,  an  heir 
of  God.  Here  is  the  testament,  here  is  my  charter 
with  the  seal  of  God  upon  it — Jesus  !  thou  art  the 
Secret  of  the  Lord !  thou  art  the  Lion  of  the  tribe  of 
Judah,  the  root  and  offspring  of  David!  Thou  hast 
prevailed  to  open  this  book  of  Secrets,  to  loose  the 
seven  seals,  and  lay  open  its  mysteries.  Thou  Lamb 
of  God,  the  appointed,  and  anointed,  to  the  great  work! 
In  our  room,  and  in  our  nature,  thou  hast  sustained  the 
curse.  Thou  hast  obeyed  the  law ;  thou  hast  drunk  the 
last  drop  of  the  last  vial  of  that  wrath,  which  would  have 
sunk  my  soul  in  the  endless  depths  of  misery;  and  I 
never  could  have  expended  one  drop,  but  sunk  deeper 
and  deeper  under  it.  O  not  unto  me,  not  unto  minis- 
ters, not  unto  any  creature.be  the  praise.  As  for  nie, 
I  am,  in  a  word,  all  that  is  vile  in  myself;  ministers, 
providences,  afflictions,  are  just  what  God  makes  them, 
without  his  blessing  they  will  not  only  pass  without 
profiting,  but  ratan  and  corruption  will  make  them 
ministers  to  themselves.  Worthy  is  the  Lamb  that 
was  slain,  for  he  has  redeemed  me  with '  his  blood. 
Worthy  is  the  Lamb  to  receive  power,  and  riches, 
and  wisdom,  and  strength,  and  honour,  and  glory,  and 
blessing — to  him,  to  him  alone,  be  the  praise;  who, 
of  an  heir  of  hell,  hath  made  an  heir  of  heaven,  by  a 
substitutional  righteousness  wrought  out  in  his  own 
person :  mine  by  free  gift,  unshackled  with  the  shadow 
of  a  condition,  in  which  I  am  completely,  justified, 
To  this  work  let  nothing  be  added,  with  this  work  let 
nothing  be  mixed, 


LETTERS.  337 

There  is  another  work  going  on  by  the  same  Spirit 
of  truth;  also  his  purchase  and  gift — Sanctification. 
In  this,  I  am  called  to  occupy,  watch,  strive,  fight. 
Life  is  given;  means  of  support  and  growth  provid- 
ed ;  weapons  of  warfare — all  things  necessary  to  life 
and  godliness :  these  are  promised  to  the  diligent  use 
of  means ;  and  poverty,  stagnation,  discomfort,  threat- 
ened to  the  indolent.  O  how  sovereign  and  gracious  has 
my  God  been  in  his  dealings  with  wie  in  this  respect 
also.  For  a  sluggard  have  I  been  in  the  days  of 
youth,  and  the  prime  of  life ;  yet  to  me  hath  he  given 
the  comforts  promised  only  to  the  diligent.  Here  I 
sit  on  the  verge  of  three-score ;  my  heart  in  some 
good  measure  loosened  from  the  world,  although  in 
full  possession  of  it.  Health*  ease,  plenty,  elegance, 
friendship,  respectability ;  old  age  welcome,  death  un- 
stung,  become  a  familiar  friend :  the  messenger  of  my 
Father  to  fetch  me  home  to  those  mansions  which  my 
Redeemer  has  taken  possession  of  in  my  name.  My 
hope  is  strong  for  my  offspring,  now  my  only  care. 
I  leave  my  fatherless  children  on  the  Lord,  he  has 
promised  to  save  them  alive.  Stately  have  been  his 
steps  of  mercy  towards  them  already,  and  he  saved 
them  from  their  mother's  snares;  he  heard  and  an- 
swered my  prayers,  for  his  name's  sake,  and  overruled 
my  practices  ;  he  is  my  God,  and  the  God  of  my  seed, 
the  God  of  my  seed's  seed  to  the  latest  generation; 
my  cup  is  full  of  comfort,  temporal  and  spiritual.  O 
praise  him,  praise  him,  for  he  is  your  God,  and  the 
Ciod  of  vour  seed  also  ! 


2  IT 


338  LETTERS. 

June  4,  1802. 

Making  allowances  for  the  difference  of  time,  and 
supposing  my  dear  children  in  health,  all  about  them 
is  in  a  racket.  This  is  his  majesty's  birth  day;  you 
have  no  doubt,  on  the  above  supposition,  been  drink- 
ing his  health,  and  are  at  this  moment,  perhaps,  set  in 
some  social  company,  by  invitation,  to  honour  the  an- 
niversary, to  repeat  the  wish  of  long  life,  health,  arid 
comfort  to  the  lawful  sovereign  of  Britain. 

Here  sit  I  in  my  dear  little  room,  with  a  lovely 
landscape  in  view ;  B —  M.'s  park  in  velvet  verdure ; 
the  full  grown  trees  scattered  thin  to  display  the  car- 
pet, and  in  full  foliage ;  the  clump  of  willows  weep- 
ing  to  the  very  ground,  with  a  gentle  wave,  agitated 
by  the  zephyr;  while  the  other  trees  keep  their  firm 
majestic  posture :  the  Hudson  river  covered  with  ves- 
sels crowded  with  sail  to  catch  the  scanty  breeze ; 
some  sweet  little  chirpers  bring  in  the  ear  for  its  share 
of  pleasure.  I  think,  I  never  heard  any  little  warbler 
in  this  land,  sing  so  sweet  as  those  which  now  salute 
my  ear :  ' 

"  These  are  thy  glorious  works,  Parent  of  good." 

Can  all  the  philosophic  ingenuity  of  London,  this  even- 
ing produce  such  a  scene  ?  The  gardens  no  doubt 
will  be  glorious,  but  the  ground  work  is  also  God's  : 
but,  why  say  I  that  in  particular?  all  is- his:  the  very 
notes  that  warble  through  so  many  guilty  throats  are 
his  creation ;  all  the  art  of  man  cannot  add  to  their 
number.  Sweet  bird,  thy  notes  are  innocent,  O  how 
sweet!  lovely  trees!  ye  who  stand  erect,  and  ye  who 
weep  and  wave ;  1  wish  no  brighter  scene.  The  sha- 
dows lengthen  fast,  so  do  yours  and  mine,  my.  Sove- 
reign* :  a  few,  a  very  few  anniversaries,  and  we  must 

*  Mrs.  Graham  received,  a  pension,  as  a  British  officer's  widow,  until  her. 
<Uatb. 


LETTERS.  339 

change  the  scene ;  change  to  where  no  courtiers  flat- 
ter ;  no  false  meteors  blaze ;  where  shadows  flee  away, 
realities  appear,  and  nothing  but  realities  will  stand 
in  any  stead. 

O  may  we  meet !  for  me,  I  nothing  have,  I  nothing 
am.  But  one  there  is,  who  was,  and  is,  all  that  the 
mind  of  saint  or  angel  can  conceive  of  glory  and  of 
happiness;  and  he  is  mine,  and  I  am  most  blessed. 
Lengthen  on,  ye  shadows,  until  all  is  shadow  on  these 
orbs  of  flesh.     Then,  O  then, 

u  My  captive  soul  set  free 
"  From  doggish  earth  which  oft  has  made  me  sigh. 
"  Ascends  the  eternal  hills,  as  seen  to  see, 
*'  As  known  to  know,  and  grasp  the  Deity" 


1802. 
Our  friend  B — ,  has  now  proved  how  far  it  is  safe 
to  leave  the  fate  of  eternity  unsettled.  He  is  gone  to 
the  state  of  the  dead ;  with  whom  his  soul  is  gathered, 
He  only  knows,  whose  mercy  none  ought  to  limit :  he 
is  gone  to  his  own  place ;  if  without  a  surety-right- 
eousness, which  he  sought  not  after  in  health,  we 
know  where  that  place  is :  but  after  reading  of  a  thiet 
on  the  cross,  nothing  with  God  is  impossible.  My 
mind  is  much  impressed,  that  sentence  rings  in  my 
ears,  so  often  repeated — "  I  am  determined  to  do  all 
the  good  I  can,  and  leave  the  rest  to  God.  I  have  no 
time  to  search."     Oh !  oh !  one  thing  is  needful. 

"  Life's  a  folly,  age  a  dream, 
Borne  along  the  common  stream  ; 
Earth's  a  bubble  light  as  air. 
If  my  rest  be  center'd  there. 
How  can  that  be  solid  joy 
Whi«h  a  moment  may  destroy." 


340  LETTERS. 

Mr.  B—  was  seized  with  the  fever  in  its  most  ma- 
lignant form ;  for  him,  every  genius  was  exerted,  and 
the  medical  store  ransacked  for  the  healing  balsam, 
but  in  vain.  The  Judge  calls  for  the  soul,  and  the 
body  must,  at  his  command,  dislodge  its  tenant:  how 
awful,  if  no  surety  was  at  hand,  if  he  must  stand  nak- 
ed— we  know  the  rest ;  did  I  say,  we  know  ?  O  no ; 
what  can  we  know  of  that  wrath,  which  in  the  garden 
of  Gethsemane,  when  no  murderous  hand  was  near, 
High  Priest,  Council  nor*  Cross,  wrung  the  blood 
through  every  pore  of  the  pure,  the  innocent  Lamb 
of  God,  supported  by  Godhead.  If  such  things  were 
done  in  the  green  tree,  what  shall  be  done  in  the  dry  ? 


TO  THE  SAME  IN  NEW-YORK.  . 

Boston,  August,  1 800. 
I  yesterday  received  my  dear  J — 's  letter,  which 
gives  fresh  cause  for  thankfulness.  The  more  my  ab- 
sence is  lengthened,  the  less  I  am  able  to  support  the 
want  of  intelligence*  Let  us  bless  God  together  for 
all  his  mercies;  among  those  which  are  temporal, 
health  is  the  chief;  and  I  believe  to  most  mothers  it  is 
more  valued  in  their  children,  than  in  their  own  persons. 
I  rejoice  with  you  over  our  restored  J — y.  O  that  our 
Covenant  God  may  give  the  more  important  blessing 
of  divine  life.  You  had  need  to  be  importunate  for 
this,  after  the  importunity  exercised  for  natural  life. 
I  thank  God  also  for  the  alleviation  of  your  own  dis- 
tress, for  our  dear  D — 's  restoration  from  complaints, 
less  alarming  so  far  as  they  existed,  but  which  might 
have  been  the  seeds  of  serious  affliction.  I  could  go 
on  enumerating,  for  causes  of  thankfulness  crowd  into 
my  "mind:  but  all  are  swallowed  up  in  the  grand  mer- 


BETTERS.  341 

ey,  the  distinguishing  mercy  of  redeeming  love  to  our 
souls.  Salvation,  not  only  to  me,  but  to  my  house ! 
Oh !  all  words  fail  here.  Read  over  with  me,  sing  with 
me,  in  your  heart,  the  ciii.  Psalm.  O  my  God,  dare 
I  even  sigh  in  thy  presence,  under  any  tempora- 
ry pain,  or  hurt  of  body  or  mind,  with  such  a  Father, 
such  a  Christ,  such  a  Comforter,  such  a  richly  furnish- 
ed well-ordered  Covenant,  such  a  constitution  of 
Grace  and  Providence  ;  O  such  an  All  in  all,  even  all 
the  fulness  of  God  !  My  God,  and  the  God  of  my 
seed,  the  God  of  my  house;  yea,  and  the  God  of  my 
prodigal,  who  shall  in  heaven,  if  never  on  earth,  join 
the  song,  To  him  that  loved  us,  and  tvashed  us  from  our 
sins  in  his  own  blood,  be  glory,  honour,  dominion,  power 
and  praise,  for  ever  and  ever,  Amen.  O  shall  a  mur- 
mur ever  pass  these  lips;  shall  this  unthankful  heart 
indulge  even  a  sigh  over  any  object  but  sin;  shall  I 
shrink  from  any  cross  with  such  a  crown? 

Father,  glorify  thy  name. 

I  have  been  to  Church ;  the  subject,  Be  not  weary  in 
■well  doing.  Many  arguments  for  exertion,  all  just,  but 
very  little  Gospel  furniture.  O  that  my  friends  could 
hear  our  Shepherd ;  he  would  sound  his  master's  voice 
more  in  unison  with  their  own  heart's  experience,  and 
views  of  new  Covenant  provision  and  Gospel  motives ; 
except  in  the  Baptist  congregations,  the  Gospel  is 
much  mutilated  here,  and  kept  out  of  sight  even  by 
the  few  who  are  supposed  to  build  upon  it.  It  appears 
to  me,  only  Dr.  M —  declares  boldly  according  to  his 
views  without  keeping  back;  he  is  esteemed  their 
only  champion:  I  love  him  dearly,  though  he  uses 
the  word  probation,  and  one  or  two  others,  which  my 
dear,  and  first  in  my  heart,  as  a  pastor,  J.  M —  like- 
not. 


342  LETTERS. 

Sabbath  next  brings  round  your — I  will  add  my 
Gospel  feast.  I  will  endeavour  to  meet  you  to-mor- 
row evening,  and  to  have  you  all  on  my  heart,  then 
and  on  the  Sabbath,  in  that  one  Lord,  one  faith, 
one  baptism,  one  Spirit,  one  God  and  Father  of  all, 
who  is  above  all,  through  all,  and  in  all  the  redeemed 
to  himself  by  Jesus  Christ ;  and  his  sanctified  by  that 
one  Spirit  uniting  all.  What  subjects !  I  cannot  attain 
to  the  comprehension,  but  I  experience  their  truth,  and 
enjoy  the  comfort  of  them. 


Belleville,  September  2,  1808. 

MY  DEAR  J , 

You  have  indeed  had  a  trying  time,  what  with 
pain,  what  with  circumstances.  If  ever  you  needed  a  • 
friend,  it  was  at  such  a  time.  I  trust  the  time  is  not  ve- 
ry distant,  when  you  shall  be  blessed  with  your  own 
dear  husband,  who  will  soothe  your  pains,  and  sweeten 
your  cares,  and  lead  you  to  cast  them  on  the  Lord,  and 
lean  where  he  himself  leans. 

There  is  a  rest  prepared  for  the  people  of  God  even 
here,  could  we  only  enter  in.  No  affliction  for  the  pre- 
sent is  joyous,  but  grievous ;  nevertheless,  they  yield 
the  peaceable  fruits  of  righteousness  to  them  who  are 
daily  exercised  by  them.  Every  affliction  has  a  lan- 
guage, and  ought  to  be  a  searching,  trying  time,  that 
it  may  not  pass  without  profit.  This  has  a  particular 
language  to  me,  as  well  as  to  you.  Your  husband's 
long  absence  drawing  to  a  hopeful  end ;  the  days  of 
anxious  expectation  arrived,  when  every  hour  will  seem 
a  day,  and  hope  deferred  male eth  the  heart  sick.  .  No  nurse 
whilst  sick.  If  ever  a  mother  could  be  of  use,  it  must 
feeiat  such  a  time  ;  yet  is  she  absent  from  you  in  provi- 


LETTERS.  343 

(ience.     You  have  a  Friend  that  sticketh  closer  than  a 
brother  ;  though  father  and  mother  might  forsake  you,  the 
Lord  will  take  you  up.     That  Friend  is  ever  near,  no 
circumstances  embarrass  him,  or  prevent  his  attentions; 
his  eye  is  on  you  every  moment — he  knows  and  feels 
your  every  pang.     There  is  a  need-be  at  times,  that  we 
be  in  heaviness,  through  manifold  temptations  ;  but  the 
Lord  knows  how  to  work  with  us  and  them.     O  for 
the  steady,  abiding  belief  of  this  in  my  own  soul !   much 
I  need  the  consolation  which  I  offer.     I  do  believe  thai 
he  will  work,  and  none  shall  let.    I  do  believe  that  the 
very  hairs  of  our  head  are  numbered,  and  a  sparrow 
cannot  fall  without  him ;  that  he  will  work  according 
to  the  counsel  of  his  will,  and  none  can  turn  aside  his 
purpose,  and  that  very  fruitless  is  my  anxiety.   O  to  be 
able  to  say,  in  the  full  sense  of  the  words,  as  given  by 
our  divine  Teacher,  Thy  will  be  done  on  earth  as  it  is  in 
Heaven.     This  is  entering  into  rest;  rest  in  the  will  of 
God.    While  I  groan,  I  ought  to  sing  :  for  my  own  par- 
ticular soul,  I  have  all  and  abound;   a  throne  of  grace: 
an  Advocate  with  the  Father ;  no  inconsiderable  share 
of  the  spirit  of  prayer :   The  Spirit  helping  my  infirmities 
with  groanings  which  cannot  be  uttered.     A  sense  of  par- 
doning love,  some  evidences  of  success  m  my  spiritual 
warfare,   assurance  of  final  victory,  my   mansions  in 
view  often  very  near;  my  blessed  High  Priest  waiting 
me    in   Jordan,  who  will   divide  the    waters,   support 
my  head    and    heart,  and    carry  me  safely  through. 

^F"7p  tp  tt*  tP  vF  *Jp  ^P  tF 

O  world,  world  !  much  have  I  suffered  for  the  court  I 
have  paid  to  thee  !  Let  my  children  take  warning  ; 
let  them  keep  a  jealous  eye  over  their  hearts.  All 
without  may  be  fair,  may  bring  praise  from  men,  yea, 
even  from  Christians ;  yet  may  the  spouse  of  Jesus  be 


344  LETTERS. 

living  in  adultery.  O  let  them  watch  the  lust  of  the 
eye,  the  lust  of  the  flesh,  and  the  pride  of  life.  Let  them 
watch  in  respect  to  lawful  things — idols  were  made  of 
the  very  trees  of  Lebanon.  If  our  purest  blessings 
occupy  that  place  in  our  affections,  or  that  portion  of 
our  time  which  should  be  devoted  to  spiritual  exerci- 
ses: Oh,  the  loss!  Our  Husband  expects  our  compa- 
ny, (Oh !  has  he  not  wooed  us  with  his  very  heart's 
blood?)  private,  secret,  confidential  communion,  with 
bolted  doors,  all  other  objects  excluded,  his  own  gifts 
not  excepted.  He  expects  spiritual  love,  a  whole 
heart.  At  such  times  he  brings  his  spouse  into  the  ban- 
queting house,  and  his  banner  over  her  is  love ;  he  stays 
her  with  flaggons,  and  comforts  her  with  apples  while  she 
is  sick  of  love. 

I  suffer  my  pen  to  run,  because  I  know  I  write  not 
mystery  to  you.  You  have  tasted,  you  have  felt,  you 
have  enjoyed  all,  and  more  than  I  can  put  in  words. 
O  my  dear  J — ,  I  think  the  fault  is  ours,  that  we  enjoy 
not  oftener  such  seasons ;  we  leave  neither  room  nor 
time,  nor  do  we  use  the  means ;  neither  do  we  follow 
out  melting  seasons.  Read  in  this  view  the  5th  of  the 
Song;  see  also  the  invitation  in  the  ii.  and  ix.  to  the 
end.  O  my  J — !  shall  youthful  prime,  sensibility  and 
ardour,  be  all  expended  on  the  very  best  of  his  crea-  . 
tures;  or  is  it  only  in  the  time  of  espousals,  that  such 
seasons  are  experienced? 


LETTERS. 


315 

TO  Mr.  A.  D— ,  Edinburgh. 

New-York,  1793. 
I  have  just  been  reading  over  my  dear  friend's  pre- 
cious letters,  and  am  refreshed  anew  by  the  same 
truths,  and  uniform  experience  of  every  Christian  ; 
which  all  amounts  to  this,  that  the  Lord  is  the  portion 
of  his  people,  and  that  whom  he  loves,  he  loves  to  the 
end.  My  soul  melts  with  tenderness,  when  I  recol- 
lect my  fellow-travellers  in  the  wilderness ;  those  dear 
associates  with  wThom  I  have  so  often  taken  sweet  coun- 
-sel ;  who  so  often  comforted  me  with  the  same  comforts 
which  they  themselves  wTere  comforted  with.  I  am 
also  led  to  recollect  some  who  have  finished  their  war- 
fare ;  some  whose  trials  were  sharp  and  long;  but 
who,  through  the  same  Grace  in  which  we  trust, 
were  steadfast  to  the  end ;  and  now  inherit  a  crown 
of  life — the  reward  of  Grace,  not  of  debt.  I  feel 
strengthened  and  comforted.  My  dear  G — ,  I 
should  have  thought  it  an  honour  to  have  dressed 
that  clay  out  of  what  the  Lord  gave  me,  and  with  my 
own  hands.  O  how  bright  does  the  soul  now  shine  in 
that  fine  linen,  clean  and  white  !  Many,  many,  were  the 
tears  she  shed  in  the  wilderness.  She  had  a  deep 
draught  of  the  Redeemer's  cup,  because  she  was  to 
be  made  very  like  him ;  and  she  is  now  like  him,  for 
she  sees  him  as  he  is,  and  shares  in  his  glory.  Her 
lot  here  was  humble,  but  her  place  now  is  not  so : 
the  Lord  will  honour  her  humble  sufferings,  patience 
and  love,  as  highly  as  those  who  moved  in  a  higher 
sphere.  I  have  often  wished  to  be  near  her  at  her  de- 
parture, but  that  honour  was  reserved  for  you.  I  re- 
joice to  hear  vour  children   are   promising  I  think  it 

2  X 


346  .  LETTERS. 

is  the  greatest  comfort  a  parent?  can  enjoy  in  this 
world.  I  have  a  large  share  of  it,  in  my  three  daugh- 
ters ;  but  my  prodigal  is  not  come  to  himself;  he  still 
feeds  on  husks,  nor  thinks  of  the  plenty  in  his  Father's 
house.  I  had  great  hopes  last  winter;  I  heard  1iq 
had  been  very  ill,  in  consequence  of  very  severe  treat- 
ment from  his  captain.  The  Lord  has  been  emptying 
him  from  vessel  to  vessel,  and  I  have  been  waiting 
the  issue;  but  mine  eyes  almost  fail,  and  my  spirit 
frets,  because  I  know  the  Lord  can,  and  no  other  can. 
I  have  great  hopes  too,  that  God's  time  will  come.  I 
am  also  satisfied  that  it  will  be  the  best  time ;  but  still 
I  cry,  O  how  long !  My  dear  friends,  1  think  I  would 
recommend  it  to  you  to  keep  your  children  about 
you.  No  other  had  ever  the  influence  over  him  that 
1  had  ;  and  I  regret  that  I  did  not  bring  him  with  me'. 
Mrs.  Stevenson,  Jessy,  who  was  so  very  delicate,  is 
much  under  the  rod;  but  she  kisses  it,  and  turns,  to 
him  who  appoints  it.  My  two  young  ones,  are  sweet, 
obedient,  diligent  girls :  my  word  is  as  much  a  law. 
as  when  they  were  seven  years  of  age.  This  also  is 
of  God  ;  and  to  him  I  look  for  their  continuing,  and 
for  my  prodigal's  return.  Our  young  Timothy,  J.  M— 
is  a  perfect  champion  for  the  Gospel  of  Jesus  :  the  Lord 
has  well  girded  him,  and  largely  endowed  him;  he, 
walks  closely  with  God,  and  speaks  and  preaches 'like 
a  Christian  of  long  experience  :  he  was  ordained  about 
two  months  ago  in  his  Father's  Church,  and  a  few 
weeks  after  married  a  lady  of  eminent  piety,  and 
preached  all  the  day,  both  the  Sabbath  before  and 
a*ier :  no  levity,  no  novelty,  made  the  smallest  ap- 
pearance in  word  or  gesture,  which  is  not  always  the 
ease  with  ilic  best  at  such  times.  There  is  not  a 
Cjiurcii  in  .New-York  whose" discipline  is  as  strict,  nor 


LETTERS.  347     -4 

one  which  has  so  many  communicants.  He  is  reckoned 
a  lad  of  great  talents,  and  an  orator ;  and  many,  of 
even  the  idle  and  careless,  go  to  hear  him.  A  few 
Sabbaths  ago,  he  preached  from  these  words,  I  am  de- 
termined to  know  nothing  among  you,  but  Jesus  Christ, 
and  him  crucified.  After  proving  that  all  the  Scriptures, 
from  the  beginning  of  Genesis  to  the  end  of  Revela- 
tions,  pointed  to  Christ  and  his  great  work  of  redemp- 
tion ;  and,  asserting  that  that  sermon  could  not.be  call- 
ed the  Gospel,  of  which  He  was  not  the  subject,  he 
spoke  home  to  his  audience,  and  told  them  that  this, 
through  the  aid  of  Divine  Grace,  was  his  firm  purpose, 
to  dwell  on  redeeming  love.  He  was  sure  no  subject 
would  be  welcome  to  any  Christian,  where  Christ  was 
not  to  be  found ;  nor  would  any  such  subject  ever  con- 
vert a  sinner;  and,  therefore,  if  any  were  about  to 
take  their  place  there,  expecting  to  hear  any  new  or 
strange  thing,  let  them  not  disappoint  themselves. 
Oh  !  for  a  thankful  heart !  the  Lord  has  indeed  done 
wonders  for  me  and  mine  ;  and  blessed  be  his  name 
for  this  mercy  also,  that  in  a  remarkable  manner,  by 
a  strange  concurrence  of  circumstances,  he  hedged 
me  in  to  become  a  member  of  this  congregation,  where 
I  am  led  and  fed  with  the  same  truths  which  nourished 
my  soul  in  Zion's  gates,  at  Edinburgh;  and  I  am  help- 
ed to  sine;  the  Lord's  song  in  a  foreign  land.  Often 
have  I  been  tempted  to  hang  my  harp  upon  the  willow, 
when  Zion  I  thought  on :  but  this  was^  and  sometimes 
still  is,  my  sin  and  ingratitude :  for  I  ought  to  build 
houses,  and  plant  vineyards,  and  seek  the  good  of  the 
land  ;  for  he  has  a  small  vineyard  here,  which  he  wa- 
ters and  cultivates,  and  I  ought  to  labour  therein,  and 
do  whatsoever  my  hand  findcth  to  do,  with  diligence; 
and  say.  the  earth  is  the  Lord's,  cud  the  fulness  thereof : 


348  LETTERS. 

heaven  is  his  throne,  the  earth  his  footstool,  and  he  fills 
all  things,  and  all  places — what  aileth  thee,  Hagar?  O 
what  a  God  of  mercy  is  our  God!  Often  has  he 
hailed  me  in  some  such  language  :  ivhat  aileth  thee  ? 
why  is  thy  countenance  sad  ?  am  not  I  better  to  thee 
than  ten  friends  ?  Then  has  he  turned  my  heart  to  him. 
made  me  feel  myself  close  to  him ;  he  has  suffered  me 
to  lean  on  his  bosom,  hang  on  his  arm,  and  lisp  out, 
Abba.  At  such  blest  moments,  I  have  thought  the 
whole  earth  but  one  point,  and  from  that  to  heaven 
but  one  step,  and  the  time  between  but  as  one  mo- 
ment ;  and  my  company  here  sufficient  to  satisfy  me 
by  the  way.  At  such  blest  moments,  I  have  felt  per- 
fect, full,  entire  satisfaction  with  all  that  God  is,  all 
that  he  does ;  and  could  trust  him  fully  with  all  my 
concerns,  spiritual,  temporal,  and  eternal.  But,  alas  ! 
by  and  by,  like  a  peevish  child,  I  begin  to  fret,  wish 
this,  wish  that ;  grieve  for  this ;  grieve  for  that ;  fear 
this ;  fear  that ;  stagger,  stumble,  fall.  O  what  a  God  of 
patience  and  long-suffering!  and  O  how  rich  that 
well-ordered  Covenant,  that  provides  suitable  grace 
for  all  these  unsteady  seasons !  It  is  my  greatest  ecu- 
solation  that  the  Lord  knows  it  all.  There  are  times 
when  I  cannot  see  him,  but  every  moment  he  sees  me. 
I  should  fall  off  and  leave  him,  but  he  holds  me  fast, 
and  never  leaves  me.  O  blessed  plan,  Where  God  'se- 
cures us,  in  safety,  even  from  ourselves  !  We  have  not 
only  destroyed  ourselves,  and  he  has  been  our  help ; 
but  we  are  ever  destroying  ourselves,  and  still,  and 
still  he,  renews  this  help. 

Well,  what  shall  we  say  ?  Father,  glorify  thy 
name,  and  let  us  lie  in  thy  hand,  as  clay  in  the  pot- 
ter's, till  thou  finish  thy  workmanship,  and  fit  us  ves- 
sels of  mercy,  to  be  filled  brim-full  of  happiness,  when 


LETTERS.  349 

thou  shalt  have  done  thy  good  pleasure  in  us,  and  by 
us,  in  this  world,  through  the  grace  that  is  in  Christ. 
Jesus,  who  loved  us,  and  gave  himself  for  us;  to  whom 
be  glory,  honour,  and  praise  in  the  Church  below,  and 
in  the  general  assembly  above,  now  and  ever.  Amen. 
My  love,  my  heart's  love,  to  my  dear  Mrs.  D — . 
I  am  ever  your  affection  friend, 

In  the  bonds  of  the  Gospel, 

ISABELLA  GRAHAM. 


To  Mrs.  O— ,  Edinburgh. 

New-York,  1793. 

I  received  both  my  dear  friend's  letters,  and  I  thank 
you  for  remembering  me.  You  cannot  miss  to  know, 
that  any  thing,  however  trifling,  from  a  friend  at  a 
distance  is  pleasant;  but  it  is  no  trifle  to  learn,  not 
onry  that  you  are  well,  but  that  you  are  still  of  the 
same  mind  with  regard  to  your  heavenly  course  and 
prospects. 

My  dear  friend,  you  and  I  have  advanced  a  great 
way  through  the  wilderness,  since  we  parted ;  and  I 
know,  and  am  persuaded,  that  we  are  both  in  exact 
proportion,  near  the  haven  of  our  hopes.  This  per- 
suasion is  not  founded  upon  any  confidence.  I  have  in 
myself,  or  in  my  purposes  of  holding  on.  No,  my 
friend,  the  longer  I  live,  the  more  I  am  convinced  that 
I  stand  by  Grace  ;  and  could  I  believe  that  the  Lord 
would  ever  let  go  his  hold  of  me,  and  let  loose  my 
own  corruptions,  and  the  enemy  to  traffic  with  them, 
and  deceive  me  by  them,  I  could  believe,  that  I  could 
lie,  steal,  commit  murder,  and  do  all  that  human  wick- 
edness ever  practised;  but,  blessed,  ever.ble&sed,  be 


350  LETTERS, 

our  divine  Shepherd  !  He  is  our  keeper,  who  has  pro- 
mised that  sin  shall  not  have  dominion  over  us :  and  for 
this  very  reason,  that  we  are  not  under  the  law,  but  under 
Grace.  Here  is  the  ground  of  our  confidence,  that  we 
shall  persevere  and  finish  our  coarse  safely,  and,  per- 
haps, honourably  too,  before  the  world :  though  this  is 
not  always  the  case.  My  dear  friend,  let  us  ever  keep 
sight  of  our  Keeper  and  Leader,  and  fear  nothing.  I 
will  tell  you  something  for  jour  comfort,  and  for  your 
encouragement ;  it  may  also  serve  for  your  confirma- 
tion ;  I  tell  it  you  in  confidence.  It  is  now,  I  think, 
thirty-five  years  since  I  simply,  but  solemnly,  accepted 
of  the  Lord's  Christ,  as  God's  gift  to  a  lost  world.  I 
rolled  my  condemned,  perishing,  corrupted  soul  upon 
this  Jesus,  exhibited  in  the  Gospel  as  a  Saviour  from  sin. 
My  views  then  were  dark,  compared  with  what  they 
now  are :  but  this  I  remember,  that  at  the  time,  I  felt 
heart7satisfying  trust  in  the  mercy  of  God,  as  the  pur<- 
chase  of  Christ ;  and  for  a  time  rejoiced  with  joy  scafce 
supportable,  singing  almost  continually,  the  ciii.  Psalm. 
I  took  a  view  of  the  promises  of  God,  and  wrote  out 
many  of  them,  and  called  them  mine;  and  among  the 
foremost,  was  that  in  the  Ixxxix.  Psalm  and  30th  verse : 
and  well  has  the  Lord  kept  me  to  it,  and  made  it  good  : 
for,  my  dear  friend,  never  was  there  a  more  unsteady, 
unwatchful  Christian  ;  never  did  the  children  of  Israelis 
conduct  in  the  wilderness  depict  any  Christian's  heart 
and  conduct,  in  Gospel  times,  better  than  mine :  and  just 
so  has  the  Lord  dealt  with  me.  When  he  slew  me,  then 
I  trusted  in  him;  when  he  gave  me  carnal  ease  and 
comfort,  I  forgot  my  Rock  and  rebelled.  Often  did  I 
stumble  too  from  legality,  instead  of  looking  at  my 
own  weakness  and  impotence ;  and  taking,  believing, 
trusting    views   of   my  Redeemer's   strength,    1   was 


Betters.  351 

wroth  with  myself,  wondered  at  myself,  and  thought  it 
impossible  I  could  be  as  I  had  been.  I  made  strong  re- 
solutions, yea,  vows,  and  became  a  slave,  in  means  to 
hedge  in  this  wandering,  worldly,  vain,  flighty  heart; 
but,  alas !  a  few  months  found  me  where  I  was,  with 
scarce  a  thought  of  God  from  morning  to  night. 
prayer  huddled  over  in  words  that  had  no  effect  on  my 
heart ;  and  the  fear  of  hell,  the  chief  restraint  from  sin, 
or  spur  to  duty.  Then,  in  general,  the  Lord  had 
some  affliction  for  me,  which  laid  me  afresh  at  his 
feet,  and  made  me  take  a  fresh  grasp  of  Christ,  and  a 
fresh  view  of  his  Covenant :  then,  again,  I  felt  safety, 
joy,  peace,  and  happiness ;  thus,  by  line  upon  line,  by 
precept  upon  precept,  ay,  and  by  stripe  upon  stripe,  he 
tausrht  me,  that  I  could  not  walk  a  moment  alone. 
This  is  now  my  fixed  faith;  and  in  proportion  as  I 
keep  it  in  sight,  I  walk  safely ;  but  I  still  forget,  and 
still  stumble,  and  still  fall,  and  be  still  lifted  up  ;  but  I 
am  lifted  up,  and  taught  lesson  after  lesson ;  and  I  will 
stumble,  and  will  fall,  while  sin  is  in  me ;  but  I  am  as 
sure  that  I  will  be  lifted  up,  and  will  be  restored,  as  I 
am  sure  I  now  breathe,  and  write  these  things;  and 
the  last  stumble  shall  come,  and  the  last  stripe  shall 
be  laid  on,  and  the  last  lesson  taught,  and  that  which 
concerns  me  shall  be  perfected.  Oh !  then  shall  I 
•  look  back,  and  see  all  the  way  by  which  he  has  led  me, 
to  prove  rue,  and  try  me,  and  show  me  what  was  in  my 
heart,  that  he  might  do  me  good  in  my  latter  end.  I  am 
often,  even  in  this  valley  of  darkness  and  ignorance, 
allowed  this  retrospective  view ;  and  am  led  to  say. 
not  one  word  of  all  that  he  promised,  has  failed.  Hi- 
therto the  Lord  hath  helped,  he  hath  been  the  Ginde  of  my 
youth,  and  even  unto  hoar  hairs  will  he  lead  me ;  and 
when  he  calls  me   to  pass  through  the  valley  of  the 


362  LETTERS. 

shadow  of  death,  I  shall  even  then  fear  no  evil,  for  his 
rod  and  staff  shall  support  me ;  and  I  shall  enter  into 
the  presence  of  my  Redeemer,  white  and  clean,  drest 
in  his  most  perfect  righteousness ;  Angels  and  Saints 
shall  know  me  in  this  glorious  robe ;  my  Redeemer 
will  acknowledge  me  as  his  ransomed,  and  I  shall 
finally  be  for  ever  with  the  Lord. 


To  Miss  M— . 

September  11,  1800. 
There  was,  my  dear  Miss  M — ,  something  in  your 
countenance  and  manner,  at  our  last  interview,  which 
has  dwelt  on  my  mind  ever  since.  Your  former  atten- 
tions, which  I  also  marked,  I  attributed  to  the  natural 
benevolence  of  your  heart;  but  your  following  a  stran- 
ger, an  old  woman,  of  whom  you  knew  so  little,  and 
you  were  likely  never  to  see  again — -to  solicit  her  whom 
friendship,  and  an  interest  in  her  prayers,  spoke  a  lan- 
guage beyond  nature.  Either,  my  sweet  friend  has 
already  chosen  a  God  in  Christ  to  be  her  portion, 
and  his  love  in  her  heart  powerfully  draws  her  to 
every  one  in  whom  she  thinks  she  discerns  his  image ; 
or  conceives  that  this  world  cannot  give  her  happiness, 
even  in  this  life ;  and  impressed  with  the  importance  of 
that  which  is  to  come,  she  wishes  to  cast  in  her  lot 
among  God's  people,  that  she  may  ■"  know  the  good  of 
his  chosen,  and  rejoice  in  their  joy,"  become  a  par- 
taker of  that  peace  which  the  Saviour  bequeathed  to 
his  disciples,  when  about  to  leave  them :  Peace  I  leave 
ivitk  you.     My  peace  I  give  unto  you  ;  not  as  the  world 


LETTERS.  353 

^iveth,  give  I  unto  you;  let  not  your  heart  be  troubled, 
neither  let  it  be  afraid.  Let  me  congratulate  my  friend, 
which  ever  of  these  be  the  case.  If  the  first,  you  have, 
(or  will  soon  have,)  a  peace  which  the  world  can  nei- 
ther give,  nor  take  away;  if  the  last,  the  Saviour 
stands  at  the  door  of  your  heart  and  knocks,  soliciting 
that  heart,  which  has  too  long  been  hunting  shadows 
and  vanity.  If  your  soul  be  dissatislied  with  the  things 
of  the  world,  and  tired  with  disappointment,  cast  a 
longing  eye  to  the  fountain  of  happiness.  This  is  the 
claim  of  that  God,  whose  name  is  love,  My  Son,  give 
me  thy  heart.  Come  unto  me,  all  ye  that  labour  and  are 
heavy  laden,  and  I  will  give  you  rest.  In  the  world,  ye 
shall  have  tribulation,  but,  in  me  ye  shall  have  peace. 
Be  assured,  my  dear  friend,  if  you  could  obtain  all 
of  this  world  that  your  heart  could  wish  for,  you 
would  find  vanity  written  on  the  possession.  Nothing 
short  of  God  himself  can  give  happiness  to  the  soul  of 
man ;  and  exactly  in  proportion  as  man  becomes  wean- 
ed from  the  world,  and  his  affections  centre  in  God, 
is  he  in  possession  of  happiness.  But  how  is  this  to 
be  attained  ?  By  God's  own  plan,  and  no  other.  As 
many  weary  themselves  in  vain,  hunting  the  shadows 
of  time ;  so  many  great  philosophers,  sensible  of  this 
great  truth,  that  God  alone  can  satisfy  the  rational 
soul,  also  weary  themselves  in  vain,  because  they  will 
not  seek  the  blessing  in  God's  own  way.  When  the 
world,  by  wisdom,  knew  not  God,  it  pleased  him  by  the 
foolishness  of  preaching,  (what  was  esteemed  so,)  to 
save  them  that  believe.  I  thank  thee,  O  Father,  that 
thou  hast  hid  these  things  from  the  wise  and  prudent,  and 
hast  revealed  them  unto  babes.  The  Saviour  said,  Ye 
will  not  come  to  me,  that  ye  might  have  life.  JVo  man 
can  come  to  the  Father,  but  by  me.     I  am  the  Way.  the 

2  y 


354  LETTERS. 

Truth,  and  the  Life.  Search  the  Scriptures,  for  in  them 
ye  think  ye  have  eternal  life,  and  they  are  they  which  testify 
of  me.  The  Scripture  testifies  what  our  own  hearts  must 
assent  to,  that  human  nature  is  depraved,  and  corrupt; 
broken  off  from  God ;  distanced  from  him  by  sin ;  en- 
mity against  him  in  his  true  character;  opposed  to  his 
holy  law,  in  its  extent  and  spirituality :  we  are  also  help- 
less, dead  in  trespasses  and  sins.  O  Israel,  thou  hast 
destroyed  thyself,  (blessed  be  God  for  what  follows,) 
but  in  me  is  thy  help.  The"  same  Scripture  which  testi- 
fies the  misery  of  man,  reveals  also  his  semedy;  a  re- 
medy of  God's  own  providing,  by  which  man  may  be 
restored  to  the  image  and  favour  of  God,  and  to  that 
communion  with  him,  which  is  life  and  bliss.  God  so 
loved  the  world,  that  he  gave  his  only  begotten  Son,  that 
whosoever  believeth  on  him  might  not  perish,  but  have 
everlasting  life:  for  God  sent  not  his  Son  into  the  world 
to  condemn  the  world,  but  that  the  world,  through  him, 
might  be  saved.  And  this  is  life  eternal^  that  ye  believe  on 
him  whom  he  hath  sent.  When  man  becomes  convinc- 
ed that  he  is  lost,  helpless,  wretched,  lying'  at  mercy, 
and  submits  to  the  method  of  God's  own  providing : 
casts  himself  on  the  mercy  of  God  in  Christ,  and,  com- 
ing to  him,  rests  on  his  free  promise,  Him  that  cometh 
to  me,  I  will  in  no  wise  cast  out ;  disclaiming  all  confidence 
in  himself,  or  in  his  own  works,  he  accepts  o  God's 
offered  Grace,  in  God's  own  way,  a  free  and  finished 
salvation.  This  is  the  record  of  God,  that  he  giveth 
unto  us  eternal  life,  and  this  life  is  in  his  Son  :  who,  of  God, 
is  made  unto  us*,  Wisdom,  and  Righteousness,  and  Sanctifi- 
cation,  and  complete  Redemption.  Believing  this,  accord- 
ing to  his  faith  it  shall  be.  Christ  shall  be  in  him,  a 
well  of  water  springing  up  to  eternal  life.  He  will  shed 
abroad  his  love  in  his  heart,  and  according  to  his  pro- 


LETTERS.  355 

mise  give  him  power  to  become  a  child  of  God.  The 
Holy  Ghost,  the  Comforter,  shall  be  given  unto  him, 
to  teach  him  the  knowledge  of  the  Scriptures,  and  to 
become  a  principle  of  holiness  in  his  heart.  Then 
shall  he  experience  that  wisdom's  ways  are  ways  of 
pleasantness,  and  all  her  paths  peace ;  then  shall  he 
experience  the  blessedness  of  that  man  whose  God  is 
the  Lord ;  then  is  the  way  open  for  communion,  and 
converse  with  God  the  Father,  Son,  and  Holy  Ghost. 

If,  my  dear  Miss  M — ,  I  have  made  myself  under- 
stood, you  have  my  view  of  God's  method  of  making 
his  creatures  happy ;  and  f  believe  he  will  make  us 
to  know  that  he  is  a  sovereign  God,  and  that  there  is 
no  other  name,  or  method  by  which  men  can  be  saved, 
but  the  name  of  Christ  Jesus.  But,  take  nothing  on 
my  word,  nor  the  word  of  any  creature ;  search  the 
Scriptures;  read  the  first  eight  chapters  of  the  Ro- 
mans, the  whole  of  the  Epbesians;  stumble  not  at 
mysteries — pass  them  over,  and  take  the  milk  for 
babes ;  pray  for  the  teaching  of  the  Spirit ;  and  Jet 
me  recommend  to  you  the  advice  of  Mr.  Newton,  in  his 
Omicron's  Letters,  a  book  well  worth  your  reading, 
"  Lay  not  too  much  stress  on  detached  texts,  but  seek 
for  the  sense  which  is  most  agreeable  to  the  general 
strain  of  Scripture." 

My  dear  Miss  M— ,  I  am  now  old,  and  I  hope  have 
done  with  the  world  ;  but  have  been  young,  and  drank 
deeply  of  youth's  choicest  pleasures.  I  was  blest 
with  the  best  and  most  indulgent  of  parents;  I  was 
the  wife  of  a  man  of  sense,  sentiment,  and  sensibility, 
who  was  my  very  first  love  and  lover:  and  that  love 
ripened  and  improved  with  years.  My  children  were 
good  and  healthy;  love,  health,  peace,  and  competen- 
cy blessed   our  dwelling.     I   had  also,  in  early  life, 


356  LETTERS. 

taken  hold  of  God's  Covenant,  and  tasted  his  Cove- 
nant love;  and  devoted  myself  to  his  service,  which 
was  in  my  mind  a  principle  of  moderation,  compared 
with  mere  worldlings :  but  very  far  was  I  from  that 
non-conformity  which  the  precept  of  the  Gospel  re- 
quires ;  had  I  kept  close  to  my  Covenant  God,  enjoyed 
his  bounty  with  thankfulness,  occupied  my  talents,  de- 
voted my  time  to  usefulness  and  communion  with  him ; 
had  I  prayed  against  corruption  within,  and  tempta- 
tion without,  the  Lord  would  have  directed  my  steps, 
and  held  up  my  goings,  and  I  should  have  continued 
to  inherit  the  earth,  and  should  not  have  been  dimin- 
ished. But  this  was  very  far  from  being  my  conduct; 
the  bent  of  the  natural,  unrenewed  heart,  is  still  oppos- 
ed to  God ;  and  the  best  are  sanctified  only  in  part, 
while  in  this  life ;  the  law  in  the  members  still  wars 
against  the  law  of  the  spirit  of  life  in  the  mind*  The 
goodness  of  God,  which  ought  to  have  been  a  power- 
ful motive  to  gratitude,  love,  and  diligence,  was  mis- 
improved:  I  enjoyed  the  gifts,  and  forgot  the  Giver; 
i;  hugged  my  comforts  to  death."  Many,  many  light 
chastisements,  my  dear,  my  kind,  my  indulgent  hea- 
venly Father,  exercised  me  with;  many  repenting 
seasons  under  his  strokes;  many  manifestations  of  par- 
don I  received ;  and  many  fresh  and  solemn  dedica- 
tions of  my  heart,  life,  and  substance  did  I  make :  but 
no  sooner  was  ease  and  comfort  restored,  than  my 
heart  turned  aside  like  a  deceitful  bow  ;  my  whole  life, 
from  fifteen,  till  the  thirtieth  year  of  my  age,  was  one 
continued  succession  of  departure  and  backsliding  on 
my  part )  of  chastening,  forgiving,  restoring,  and  com- 
forting on  the  part  of  my  God. 

He  did  not  cast  me  off,  but  dealt  with  me  according 
to   the    constitution   of  his  well  ordered    covenant— 


LETTERS.  357 

Psalms  Ixxxix.  30.  If  his  children  (Christ's)  forsake 
my  law  and  walk  not  in  my  judgments — if  they  break  my 
statutes,  and  keep  not  my  commandments,  then  will  I  visit 
their  transgression  with  the  rod,  and  their  iniquity  with 
stripes.  Nevertheless,  my  loving  kindness  will  I  not  utterly 
take  from  him,  nor  suffer  my  faithfulness  to  fail;  my  cove- 
nant  will  I  not  break,  nor  alter  the  thing  that  is  gone  out 
of  my  lips.  This  is  the  covenant  (made  with  Christ  as 
the  federal  head  of  all  who  believe)  of  which  I  took  hold 
in  early  life;  my  God  kept  me  to  my  choice,  and  ma- 
nifested his  own  faithfulness,  and  the  stability  of  his 
covenant.  When  lighter  afflictions  proved  ineffectual, 
He  at  last,  at  one  blow,  took  from  me  all  that  made 
life  dear,  the  very  kernel  of  all  my  earthly  joys,  my 
idol,  my  beloved  husband.  Then  I  no  longer  halted 
between  two  opinions;  my  God  became  my  all.  I 
leave  it  as  my  testimony,  that  He  has  been  a  father  to 
the  fartherless,  a  husband  to  the  widow,  the  stranger's 
shield  and  orphan's  stay.  Even  to  hoar  hairs  and  to 
old  age  he  has  carried  me,  and  not  one  good  word  has 
failed  of  all  that  he  has  promised.  "  He  has  done  all 
things  well,"  and  at  this  day  I  am  richer  and  happier 
than  ever  I  was  in  my  life.  Not  that  I  am  yet  made 
free  from  sin,  that  is  still  my  burden ;  want  of  love  and 
gratitude,  indolence  in  commanded  duty,  self-will  and 
nestling  in  the  creature.  But  my  heart's  wish  and 
earnest  desire  is  conformity.  The  bent  of  my  will  is 
for  God  ;  and  if  my  heart  deceive  me  not,  my  God  is 
the  centre  of  my  best  affections.  It  is  by  grace  that  I 
am  what  I  am,  and  the  same  grace  engages  to  perfect 
the  work  begun. 

This  God  is  my  God,  he  will  guide  me  even  unto 
death,  through  death,  and  be  my  portion  through  eter- 
nity.    This  God  I  recommend  to  my  friend;  and  this 


358  LETTERS. 

well-ordered  covenant,  this  all-sufficient  Saviour,  for 
your  acceptance ;  the  bible  for  your  guide  :  pray  to 
God  for  his  holy  Spirit  to  lead  you  to  the  knowledge  of 
the  very  truth,  as  it  is  in  Jesus.  Accept  this  as  a  testi- 
mony of  friendship,  and  believe  me  yours  in  love. 

I.  GRAHAM. 


November  2d,  1800. 

You  have,  I  find,  been  the  child  of  affliction  :  she  is  a 
stern  rugged  nurse ;  but  blessed  often  are  the  lessons  she 
teaches.  I  have  (says  God)  chosen  thee  in  the  furnace 
of  affliction.  It  is  God's  ordinary  way  of  drawing  sin- 
ners to  himself,  either  to  dry  up,  or  embitter,  the  streams 
of  worldly  comfort,  that  he  may  shut  them  up  to  seek 
that  comfort  that  depends  not  on  any  transitory  source. 

I  have  not  a  doubt  but  you  shall  yet  sing  with  the 
Royal  Psalmist,  It  is  good  for  me  that  I  have  been  af- 
flicted, fqr  before  I  was  afflicted  I  ivent  astray,  but  now  I 
have  kept  thy  word.  Blessed  is  the  man  thou  chastenest, 
Lord,  and  makest  to  learn  thy  wciys.  Many  are  the 
texts  to  the  same  purpose;  take  them  for  your  consola- 
tion as  a  part  of  God's  well-ordered  covenant. 

You  have  met  with  a  late  bereavement,  which  has 
entered  deep  into  your  soul.  We  are  not  called  to 
stoicism,  but  to  tenderness  of  heart  and  spirit.  Jesus 
wept  with  the  two  sisters  over  a  brother's  grave.  But 
still  the  Christian's  spirit  must  be  resigned,  and  say,  and 
try  to  say  with  cheerfulness,  not  my  will  but  thine  be 
done.  And,  O  my  friend,  great  will  be  the  wisdom  and 
happy  the  acquisition,  if  every  new  bereavement 
would  enlarge  the  room  for  divine  love  in  the  heart,  and 
be  filled  up  with  that  most  noble,  most  blessed  of  prin- 
ciples.^ Seek  not,  my  friend,  to  replace  friendship  with 


LETTERS.  359 

any  mere  worldling  ;  beg  of  God  to  fill  up  the  vacuum, 
then  will  you  be  a  great  gainer. 

Why  hesitate  to  join  the  church  ?     Let  not  a  sense 
of  unworthiness  keep  you  back — a  deep  sense  of  un- 
worthiness  is  one  grand  part  of  due  preparation ;  and 
no  worthiness  of  yours  can  give  you  any  title  to  that 
New   Testament  in   Chris Vs  bloody  which  was  shed  for 
the  remission  of  sins.     Worthless,  vile,  empty,  helpless, 
is  every  son  and  daughter  of  Adam's  race  ;  but  it  was 
for  the   ungodly  that  Christ  died :   it   was   while  we 
were  without  strength :  his  name  was  called  Jesus,  be- 
cause he  should  save  his  people  from  their  sins.     In 
that  day,  that  great  day  of  the  feast,  Jesus  stood  among  a 
mixed  multitude,  and  cried,  if  any  man  thirst  let  him  come 
to  me  and  drink — whosoever  will,  let  him  come  and  take  of 
the  water  of  life  freely. 

If  conscious  at  the  time  that  it  is  the  supreme  desire 
of  your  soul  to  be  washed  in  his  blood,  clothed  with 
his  righteousness,  sanctified  by  his  Spirit, — go — and 
take  this  water  of  life  freely  ;  go  as  a  sinner  to  a  Sa- 
viour ;  go  at  his  command,  put  honour  on  his  appoint- 
ment, and  repeat  the  dedication  of  all  that  you  arc, 
have,  or  can  have,  over  the  symbols  of  his  body  broken 
for  you,  his  blood  shed  for  you  ;  go,  trusting  in  his  mer- 
cy, .and  leave  all  to  his  management,  believing  that  he 
will  shed  abroad  his  love  in  your  heart,  order  your 
footsteps  in  his  ways,  and  in  due  time  perfect  his  image 
in  your  soul.  Keep  close  to  him  in  the  use  of  means, 
but  look  beyond  the  means  for  life  and  power.  I  com- 
mit you  to  our  God  and  Saviour,  and  pray  that  he  may 
be  to  you  wisdom,  righteousness,  sanctification,  and  com- 
plete redemption. 

I  am,  my  dear  Miss  M.  your  ever  affectionate, 

I.  G. 


360  LETTERS, 

January  4,  1801. 

— ,  Well  !  let  us  bless  the  Lord  together  fox 

what  he  has  done  for  you,  for  me,  and  for  many  dear 
to  us.  None  ever  sought  him  in  vain,  or  found  him 
worse  than  his  promise.  If  any  man  will  do  his  will,  he 
shall  know  of  the  doctrine  whether  it  be  of  God,  So  shah 
thou  know  the  Lord,  if  thou  follow  on  to  know  kim.  If 
ye  then,  being  evil,  know  how  to  give  good  gifts  unto  your 
children,  how  much  more  shall  your  Heavenly  Father  give 
the  Holy  Spirit  to  them  that  ask  him  ?  Jsk  and  ye 
shall  receive,  seek  and  ye  shall  find,  knock  and  it  shall  be 
opened  to  you.  Ho  !  every  one  that  thirsteth,  come  ye  to  the 
waters,  &c. 

My  friend,  did  I  say  too  much  of  this  kind,  compas- 
sionate, loving,  life-giving  Saviour,  or  of  the  fulness  and 
freeness  of  the  gift  of  God  ?  You  have  tasted  it,  you 
have  witnessed  it,  you  have  seen  a  recent  proof  of 'it — 
you  -may  trace  mercy  through  all  this  dispensation ;  his 
lengthened  out  illness,  his  preserved  judgment  and 
strength  of  mind  to  the  last,  all  concurred  to  mani- 
fest  to  himself,  to  you,  and  to  all  who  would  look  on,  the 
reality  of  that  joy  and  peace  which  is  jhe  fruit  of  be- 
lieving and  acquiescing  in  that  remedy  of  God's  own 
providing  for  poor  wandering,  erring,  miserable  sinners. 
He  had  wandered  from  the  fountain  of  living  waters ; 
his  broken  cisterns  could  yield  him  no  'refreshment^ — 
like  the  poor  starving  prodigal,  he  desired  to  return  to 
his  father,  and  asked  the  way  to  Zion  with  his  face 
thitherwards.  Was  not  the  sequel  realized  to  him? 
his  father  met  liim,  embraced  him,  brought  him  home, 
and  filled  his  heart  with  peace  and  gladness.  ,0,  is  it 
not  all  of  a  piece  with  what  he  has  revealed  of  his  own 
name  and  character  ? 

The  Lord,  the  Lord  God,  merciful  and  gracious,  long- 


LETTERS.  361 

suffering,  slow  to  anger,  of  great  kindness,  showing  mercy 
to  thousands,  pardoning  iniquity,  transgression,  and  sin — 
wh  will  by  no  means  clear  the  guilty  :  seeing  he  has 
found  a  method  of  magnifying  his  own  law,  and  jus- 
tifying the  ungodly,  by  substituting  another  in  their 
room.  God  is  merciful  to  all  the  extent  he  hath  said ; 
but  still  it  is  by  his  own  method  ;  for  he  has  declared, 
that  out  of  Christ  he  is  a  consuming  fire;  and  that 
there  is  no  other  name  given,  by  which  men  must  be  saved* 
but  the  name  of  Christ  Jesus.  But  men,  even  men  mo- 
ral, benevolent,  good  in  the  common  acceptation  of  the 
word  in  the  world,  going  about  to  establish  their  own 
righteousness,  will  not  submit  to  the  righteousness  of 
God's  own  providing :  this  is  the  madness,  this  is  the 
folly,  this,  I  fear,  is  the  ruin  of  thousands ;  what  did 
I  say?  I  fear ;  dare  I  doubt?  no,  I  dare  not,  for  God 
has  said  it.  O  my  friend,  let  us  cleave  to  the  only 
Mediator  between  God  and  man,  the  Man  Christ  Je- 
sus, and  let  us  be  jealous  among  those  whom  we  love, 
and  over  whom  we  have  influence,  to  bring  them  off 
from  every  sandy  foundation,  to  the  Rock,  Christ. 
You  say  true,  that  I  was  interested,  personally,  in  this 
dear  Brother ;  never  mother  watched  over  the  darling 
of  her  heart,  with  more  unwearied  attention,  than  lie 
did  over  my  Jessy.  He,  by  the  blessing  of  God,  re- 
stored her  for  a  time — now  they  are  met ;  soon  shall 
we  follow  ;  many  friends  have  gone  before.  O  that 
every  bereavement  may  be  blessed  to  us,  that  we  may 
be  weaned  from  the  things  of  time,  and  made  familiar 
with  the  prospects  held  out  to  us  beyond  the  grave  ! 


2Z 


362  LETTERS. 

To  Mrs.  JULIET  S— .  JYeiv-York. 

Belleville,  September  16,   1808, 

MY  DEAR  JULIET, 

Since  the  hour  I  received  your  letter,  you  have 
been  little  out  of  my  mind.  You  call  upon  me  as  mo- 
ther, friend,  counsellor.  Shall  conscious  unworthiness9 
or  weakness,  or  ignorance,  prevent  my  answering, 
knowing  that  God  often  chooses  weak  instruments  to 
bring  to  pass  great  ends  ?  I  have  been  once  and  again 
at  a  throne  of  Grace,  for  wisdom  to  direct  me,  and 
grace  to  be  faithful.  If  your  desire  after  spiritual 
knowledge,  be  sincere,  and  from  the  Spirit  of  God 
operating  on  your  heart,  you  will  bear  searching. 

You  are  a  communicant,  my  Juliet ;  this  pre-sup- 
poses  that  a  very  great,  and  an  important,  change 
has  taken  place  in  your  mind,  that  you  have  been 
made  deeply  sensible  of  what  the  word  of  God  testi- 
fies of  every  son  and  daughter  of  Adam's  race.  Ro- 
mans iii.  9.  As  it  is  written,  there  is  none  righteous,  no 
not  one,  Man  is  horn  as  the  wild  asses  colt,  going  astray 
from  the  womb.  Job.  The  heart  is  deceitful  above  all 
things,  and  desperately  wicked ;  I  the  Lord  search  it. 
Having  the  understanding  darkened,  alienated  from,  the 
life  of  God,  through  the  ignorance  that  is  in'  us,  because 
of  the  blindness  of  our  hearts,  Ephesians  iv.  18.  Dead 
in  trespasses  and  sins — Chapter  ii.  1.  Presupposes,  that 
this  chapter  may  be  addressed  to  you,  Juliet,  by  name. 
You  hath  he  quickened,  who  were,  dead  in  trespasses  and 
sins.  Wherein  in  time  past  ye  walked  according  to  the 
course  of  this  world,  according  to  the  prince  of  the  power 
of  the  air,  the  Spirit  that  now  worketh  in  the  children  of 
disobedience  ;  among  whom  also  we  all  had  our  conversa- 
tion in  times  past,  in  the  lusts  of  our  flesh,  fulfilling  the 


LETTERS.  363 

desires  of  the  flesh,  and  of  the  mind;  and  were  by  nature 
the  children  of  wrath,  even  as  others.  But  God,  ivho  is 
rich  in  mercy,  for  his  great  love  wherewith  he  hath  loved 
us,  even  when  we  were  dead  in  sins,  hath  quickened  ns 
together  with  Christ.  By  Grace  are  ye  saved  through 
faith,  not  of  works,  lest  any  man  should  boast.  Works 
there  are,  my  Juliet,  most  assuredly;  every  quickened 
soul  will  live,  and  bring  forth  fruits  of  righteousness ; 
but  these  works  are  not  attainable  but  in  God's  way 
and  order.  It  follows,  For  we  are  his  workmanship, 
created  in  Christ  Jesus  unto  good  works,  which  God  hath 
before  ordained,  that  we  should  walk  in  them.  My  Juliet 
says,  "  To  you  then  I  look  up  to  teach  me."  Let  me 
then  bring  you  to  the  great  Teacher  and  Prophet  of 
the  Church,  without  whose  teaching  all  human  instruc- 
tion will  be  ineffectual.  We  read  of  two  amiable 
characters  coming  to  Christ,  professedly  for  instruc- 
tion. The  first  you  will  find  in  Matthew  xix.  16. 
The  young  man  asks  him,  What  good  thing 
shall  I  do,  that  I  may  inherit  eternal  life?  Jesus 
answers  him,  by  referring  him  to  the  moral  law;  the 
young  man,  not  made  acquainted,  by  the  Spirit  of  God, 
either  with  the  extent  or  spirituality  of  that  law,  or  of 
the  depravity  of  his  own  nature,  answers,  as  many  in 
like,  circumstances  still  do:  All  these  tilings  have  I 
kept  from  my  youth  up.  I  do  not  suppose  any  one  could 
contradict  him.  It  is  added,  that  Jesus  loved  him,  and 
he  was  a  loveable  character;  but  Jesus,  knew  that  the 
true  principle  was  not  there — supreme  love  to  God, 
with  all  the  hearty  with  all  the  soul,  with  all  the  strenglli, 
and  with  all  the  mind:  therefore  he  gave  him  a  test 
which  proved  that  the  world  was  uppermost  in  his 
heart.  He  went  away  sorrowful,  and  we  hear  no 
more  of  him.      The  other  character  you  will  find  in 


384  LETTERS. 

that  remarkable  chapter,  the  third  of  John's  Gospel — 
JVicodemus,  a  ruler  of  the  Jews,  and  also  a  teacher. 
Well  knew  he  the  law,  as  to  the  letter  of  it,  both  mo- 
ral and  ceremonial ;  he  must  also  have  been  acquaint- 
ed with  all  the  old  Testament  Scripture,  types,  and 
prophecies,  it  being  his  office  to  expound ;  and  no 
doubt,  among  others,  was  looking  for  the  promised 
Messiah.  Jesus  does  not  send  him  to  either  the  law 
or  the  prophets.  This  ruler  comes  with  a  conviction 
and  an  acknowledgment,  that  Jesus  himself  was  a 
teacher  immediately  from  God ;  and  Jesus  immediate- 
ly takes  upon  himself  his  great  office,  and  begins  with 
that  which  is  a  sinner's  first  business :  to  know  himself, 
what  he  is  by  nature,  and  the  necessity  of  the  new 
birth.  Nicodemus,  with  all  his  learning,  was  a  stran- 
ger to  this  doctrine :  How  can  a  man  be  born  when  he  is 
old?  Jesus  repeats  his  doctrine,  He  must  be  born  of 
water  and  the  Spirit ;  baptized  with  water  and  the 
Holy  Ghost.  That  tchicK  is  bom  of  flesh  is  flesh,  and 
that  which  is  bom  of  the  Spirit  is  Spirit.  Marvel  not  that 
I  said  unto  you,  ye  must  be  born  again.  H'umble  that 
proud  reason  that  will  believe  nothing  but  what  it  can 
understand.  The  ivind  bloiveth  where  it  listeth,  and  thou 
hearest  the  sound  thereof  but.  canst  not  tell  whence  it  com- 
eth,  or  whither  it  goeth  :  so  is  every  one  that  is  born  of 
the  Spirit — a  mystery  it  is ;  nevertheless,  it  is  true. 
Follow  out  the  chapter,  my  dear.  Jesus  preaches  his 
own  Gospel,  and  brings  in  that  beautiful  type,  the  ser- 
pent, which  He  had  commanded  to  be  raised  on  a  pole, 
that  those  who  had  been  bitten  with  fiery  serpents, 
whose  bite  was  death,  should  look  unto  it  and  be  heal- 
ed. Read  it,  my  deai>  in  the  2 1st  of  Numbers  :  and 
in  reference  to  this,  He  himself  says,  Look  unto  me 
all  ye  ends  of  the  earth,  and  be  ye  saved.  Except  a  man  be 


LETTERS.  365 

born  again,  he  cannot  see  the  kingdom  of  God.  Quick- 
ened, renewed  in  the  Spirit  of  his  mind,  old  things 
pass  away,  and  all  things  become  new :  new  princi- 
ples, new  desires,  new  pleasures,  new  ends.  The  work 
is  God's.  The  whole  plan  of  Redemption  is  his,  from 
first  to  last.  It  is  clearly  revealed  in  Scripture,  and 
there  is  no  dispute  among  Christians  concerning  it. 
The  fall  of  man,  his  corruption  and  depravity;  his 
state  under  the  curse  of  a  broken  Covenant,  and  his 
exposure  to  eternal  misery;  his  helplessness  and  total 
inability  to  return  to  God ;  his  ignorance  of  his  situa- 
tion— dead  in  trespasses  and  sins,  without  God  and  with- 
out hope  in  the  world:  this  is  his  situation  by  nature. 
But  there  is  good  news  proclaimed,  God  so  loved  the 
world,  that  he  gave  his  only  begotten  Son,  to  become  the 
Surety  of  lost  sinners.  He  took  our  nature  upon  him, 
our  sins  upon  him,  our  duties  upon  him;  he  wras 
placed  in  our  law,  room,  and  stead ;  sustained  the  pe- 
nalty of  the  broken  law;  fulfilled  its  utmost  demands; 
redeemed  us ;  gave  us  a  new  Covenant,  of  which  him- 
self is  the  Surety :  and  there  is  no  condemnation  to 
them  that  are  in  Christ  Jesus.  The  merits  of  Christ, 
exclusive  of  any  thing  of  ours,  is  the  sole  foundation 
of  our  hope.  Christ  is  set  forth,  in  Scripture,  as  the 
atonement,  the  propitiation  for  sins,  the  one  Sacrifice 
for  sin;  Christ  is  the  end  of  the  law  for  righteousness: 
all  is  made  ours  by  free  gift.  1  John  v.  11.  All  is 
ready,  justice  satisfied,  God  reconciled,  peace  pro- 
claimed. But  what  is  all  this,  to  a  thoughtless  world, 
insensible  of  their  situation,  danger,  and  need  ?  It  is 
an  awful  saying,  but  it  is  of  the  Holy  Ghost — If  our 
Gospel  be  hid,  it  is  hid  to  them  that  are  lost,  in  whom  the 
God  of  this  world  hath  blinded  their  minds,  and  darkened 
their    understandings,   and    hardened     their  hearts,   «Vc. 


366  LETTERS. 

Therefore  the  application  of  this  grace  is  also  of  God; 
it  is  all  within  his  plan — He  has  appointed  means,  and 
commanded  our  diligence  in  the  use  of  them.  We  have 
his  Bible  in  our  hands,  his  ministers  in  our  churches, 
who  are  also  pastors  and  teachers,  if  we  apply  for  their 
aid  in  private :  we  have  a  throne  of  grace  to  go  to,  and 
many  great  and  precious  promises  held  up  in  God's 
word  for  us  to  embrace  and  plead  for  Christ's  sake  : 
we  have  many  prayers  in  the  Scriptures  which  we  may 
adopt. 

I  acknowledge  we  are  still  dependent  for  the  effect ; 
that  must  be  from  God  himself.  But  he  does  honour 
his  own  ordinances.  He  puts  forth  his  power,  and 
convinces  of  sin :  this  is  his  first  work.  The  soul  is 
awakened,  aroused,  convinced  of  sin  and  misery;  sins 
of  the  heart,  sins  of  the  tongue,  sins  of. the  life,  press, 
upon  the  conscience,  which  never  disturbed  before;  mis- 
pent  time,  wasted  talents,  lost  opportunities,  neglect  of 
God's  word  and  ordinances,  so  that  the  soul  cannot  rest. 
O,  my  Juliet,  this  is  a  hopeful  case.  I  hope  you  have 
experienced  something  of  this.  It  is  one  of  the  surest 
marks  of  the  operation  of  the  Spirit  of  God,  and  a  pre- 
lude to  the  new  birth.  It  never  takes  place  without  it, 
for  the  whole  need  not  a  physician,  but  they  that  are  sick. 
Only  the  weary  and  heavy  laden  will  prize  rest,  and 
Christ  is  the  rest  they  need  :  only  a  convinced  sinner  will 
or  can  prize  the  Saviour,  and  now  the  Lord  opens  his 
mind  to  understand  the  scriptures !  He  sees  the  pro- 
vision which  God  has  made  for  ruined  sinners,  by  pro- 
viding a  substitute  to  stand  in  his  room  ;  he  perceives 
how  God  can  be  just  and  justify  the  sinner  who  takes 
shelter  in  Jesus ;  he  falls  in  with  God's  gracious  plan ; 
receives  the  Lord  Jesus  as  God's  gift  to  sinners ;  trusts 
entirely  in  his  merit  for  pardon,  peace,  reconciliation. 


LETTERS.  367 

and  eternal  life ;  resigns  his  soul  into  the  hands  of  his 
Saviour,  in  the  faith  that  he  will  save  it,  and  devotes  him- 
self unreservedly  to  his  service,  in  the  faith  that  he  will 
give  him  grace  to  live  to  him  in  all  holy  obedience. 
Now,  and  not  till  now,  according  to  God's  promise,  he 
receives  power  to  become  his  child  :  this  is  God's  order. 
John  i.  12.  Now  he  receives  life  and  begins  to  live; 
but  there  is  yet  a  great  work  before  him.  It  hath 
pleased  God  in  his  plan  to  finish  at  once  a  justifying 
righteousness ;  it  is  his  own  work,  and  was  finished  in 
that  awful  hour  when  he  announced  it  in  his  last  words 
on  the  cross.  John  xix.  30.  To  this  nothing  of  ours 
is  to  be  added — with  this  nothing  of  oursmixt;  it  is  for 
ever  perfect — it  is  God's  gift;  it  is  made  ours  by  impu- 
tation in  the  hour  when  we  first  believe,  receive  ity 
rest  oar  souls  upon  it.  But  it  hath  not  pleased  God  in 
this  plan  to  deliver  the  believer  at  once  from  indwelling 
sin.  This  is  the  subject  of  the  Christian  warfare,  the 
race,  the  good  fight,  &c.  Now  the  believer  receives 
life,  and  is  called  to  work.  Work  out  your  own  salva- 
tion with  fear  and  trembling,  for  it  is  God  that  worketh  in 
you,  both  to  will  and  to  do.  All  the  promises  in  this 
blessed  Bible  are  his — they  are  yea  and  amen  in  Christ ; 
Christ  himself  is  his ;  his  Spirit  dwells  in  him.  The 
believer  is  united  to  Jesus  by  as  real  an  union  as  the 
branch  to  the  vine,  the  members  with  the  head,  the 
building  with  the  foundation.  Yet  sin  dwelleth  in 
him,  and  is  to  be  expunged  by  constant  applications  to 
Christ  in  prayer — by  means  of  watching,  striving,  fight- 
ing; fighting  under  his  banner.  In  his  blessed  word 
we  are  informed  where  our  strength  lies,  what  are  our 
weapons,  what  our  armour.  But  what  can  I  say  on 
those  subjects  ?  the  whole  word  of  God  is  on  the  sub- 
ject  of  redemption — the   whole   labours   of  Christ's 


368  LETTERS. 

ministers,  and  the  whole  dispensation  of  God's  provi- 
dence. Are  these  things  so  ?  My  Juliet,  this  is  not 
the  doctrine  of  any  one  church.  About  these  subjects 
there  is  no  dispute ;  Presbyterians,  Episcopalians,  Bap- 
tists, Independents,  all  agree  in  these  great  things. 
And  are  these  things  so  indeed?  O,  my  Juliet,  where 
is  the  time  to  be  spared  for  plays,  assemblies,  and  such 
numerous  idle  parties  of  various  descriptions  ?  I  must 
stop  ;  the  subject  is  great,  and  we  have  many  excellent 
treatises  on  the  various  parts  of  it  by  able  pious  men. 
It  would  be  improper  to  crowd  it  thus  into  a  letter,  un- 
less to  instigate  to  furtheKinvestigation. 

Farewell !     I  ever  am,  my  dear  Juliet,  yours  affec- 
tionately. 

I.  GRAHAM. 


To  Miss  VAN  WYCK,  JYew-Yorh   . 

.Rockaway,  1810, 

MY  DEAR,  MY  BELOVED  ELIZA, 

Mr.  and  Mrs.  B.  are  here  on  a  visit  for  one  night. 
I  did  not  expect  to  see  them  so  soon,  or  I  would  have 
had  a  letter  ready.  I  expect  another  opportunity  in 
the  course  of  a  few  days,  when  I  will  send  you  a  long 
letter,  from  my  heart,  and,  I  hope,  dictated  by  your  and 
my  Teacher. 

I  learn  by  my  children  that  you  continue  much  in 
the  same  way  m  which  I  left  you.  It  is  your  own  God 
who  mixes  your  cup,  and  it  is  to  you  a  cup  of  blessing; 
theue  is  no  curse  in  it.  Your  Jesus  drank  that  cup  to 
the  very  dregs,  that  bitter  as  well  as  sweet  might  be  to 
you  a  cup  of  blessing.     O,  then,  my  darling,  hold  fast 


LETTERS.  369 

by  jour  Redeemer,  He  is  the  Lord  your  righteousness, 
and  the  Lord  your  strength  :  He  connects  your  profit 
with  his  own  glory.  You  shall  in  this  protracted 
affliction  manifest  it,  and  hold  out  the  word  of  life  to 
those  around  you*.  You  shall  witness  for  him  that  He 
is  the  Lord,  and  besides  Him  there  is  no  Saviour — that 
He  gathers  the  Lambs  in  his  arms.,  and  carries  them  in  his 
bosom — that  he  is  to  them  a  hiding-place  from  the  wind, 
and  a  covert  from  the  tempest — as  rivers  of  water  in  a  dry 
place,  and  as  the  shadow  of  a  great  rock  in  a  weary  land. 
That  it  is  he  that  teacheth  them  to  profit,  and  leadeth 
them  by  the  way  that  they  should  go,  and  that  in  due 
time  he  will  perfect  all  that  concerns  them. 
Farewell !     Your's  with  affection, 

I.  GRAHAM. 


TO    THE    SAME. 

Rockaway,  Sabbath,  1810. 

My  DEAR,  MY  BELOVED  ElIZA, 

1  wrote  you  a  few  lines  yesterday  by  Mr.  B.  I 
now  propose  to  fulfil  my  promise.  I  expect  an  oppor- 
tunity to-morrow  or  next  day,  for  1  saw  a  great  many 
carriages  pass  this  way  to  the  tavern,  as  I  suppose,  from 
New-York.  It  is  a  common  thing  with  some  to  come 
here  on  Saturday,  and  return  on  Monday,  to  spend  this 
blessed  day  in  frolic*  You  would  not,  I  know,  exchange 
situations  with  them*;  you  would  rather  be  suffering  than 
sinning. 

It  is  your  own  observation  that  God  does  all  in  wis- 
dom :  in  this  wisdom  he  is  pleased  to  lengthen  your 
day  of  aftliction.     Sin,  my  darling,  is  the  cause  of  all 

*  This  prediction  was  remarkably  fulfilled  in  the  experience  of  this  dear  young 
saint ;  an  interesting  account  of  whose  illness  and  death  has  beeu  published  in 
the  Christian's  Magazine. 

3  A 


370  LETTERS. 

suffering;  but  it  is  not  always  the  immediate  cause; 
Beside  particular  chastisement  for  particular  sins,  there 
are  afflictions  to  be  filled  up  in  the  body  of  Christ,  (his 
church,)  a  measure  of  which,  in  kind  and  degree,  is  ap- 
pointed by  unerring  wisdom  to  each  individual  member. 
Col.  i.  24.  These  sufferings  bear  no  part  in  atoning 
for  sin,  nor  in  redeeming  our  forfeited  inheritance. 
Christ  trode  the  wine  press  alone,  and  of  the  people  there 
was  none  to  help  him.  He  was  made  sin  for  us,  who 
knew  no  sin,  that  we  might  be  made  the  righteousness  of 
God  in  him;  who  ivhen  he  had  by  himself  purged  our  sins* 
sat  down  on  the  right  hand  of  the  majesty  on  high.  Heb.  i.  3. 
Again,  chapter  x.  II.  And  every  Priest,  (in  the  Leviti- 
cal  law)  standeth  daily  ministering  and  offering  oftentimes 
the  same  sacrifices,  which  can  never  take  away  sins.  But 
this  man,  after  he  had  offered  one  sacrifice  for  sins,  for  ever 
sat  down  on  the  right  hand  of  God ;  for  by  one  offering  he 
hath  perfected  for  ever  them  that  are  sanctified,  whereof  the 
Holy  Ghost  is  also  a  tvitncss  to  us,  for  after  he  had  said 
before,  (see  from  verse  5.)  This  is  the  covenant  which  1 
will  make  with  them  after  those  days,  saith  the  Lord— J 
will  put  my  laws  into  their  hearts,  and  in  their  minds  will  1 
write  them,  and  their  sins  and  iniquities  will  I  remember  no 
more.  JVoiv  where  remission,  of  these  is,  there  is  no  more 
offering  for  sin.  Paul  says  the  Holy  Ghost  is  a  witness, 
because  he  copies  from  the  ancient  scriptures  the  pro- 
phecies of  Jeremiah,  chap.  xxxi.  31.  and  Ezek.  xxxvi. 
25.  and  from  the  Psalms  lx.  7.  Your  mother  will 
read  to  you  also  the  8th  chapter,  of  Hebrews,  contain- 
ing the  same  things,  the  new  covenant,  in  consequence 
of  Christ  as  the  surety  of  sinners,  having  made  full 
atonement,  magnified  the  law,  and  made  it  honourable ; 
therefore  there  is  now  no  condemnation  to  them  who 
are  in  Christ  Jesus.     It  has  pleased  God,  my  darling* 


LETTERS.  371 

in  the  adorable  plan  of  reconciling  sinners  to  himself 
by  Jesus  Christ,  to  perfect  at  once  a  justifying  righteous- 
ness for  them,  and  to  bestow  it  upon  them  as  a  free 
gift.  This  is  the  record,  that  God  hath  given  to  us  eternal 
life,  and  this  life  is  in  his  Son.  1  John  v.  11.  But  it 
has  not  pleased  him  to  deliver  us  at  once  from  depra- 
vity ;  provision  is  made  for  final  deliverance  by  the  same 
covenant,  and  is  effected  by  the  same  power,  but  in 
this  believers  are  called  to  work.  It  is  evident  from 
Scripture,  and  the  experience  of  Christians  answers  to 
it,  that  in  the  hour  of  believing  they  pass  from  death 
to  life,  considered  as  a  state.  This  is  the  hour  of  the 
new  birth — they  then  receive  life  for  the  time,  and  it  is 
their  privilege,  by  the  constitution  of  the  new  covenant, 
to  ask  and  receive  from  day  to  day,  grace  to  help  in 
every  time  of  need.  To  them,  and  not  to  the  unrege- 
nerate,  the  exhortation  is  addressed  :  Work  out  your 
own  salvation  with  fear  and  trembling,  for  it  is  God  who 
ivorlceth  in  you,  both  to  will  and  to  do,  of  his  good  pleasure. 
The  means  are  of  God's  appointing,  in  the  diligent  use 
of  which  they  go  from  strength  to  strength.  The 
grand  mean  is  faith  in  God's  promises,  of  which  there 
are  very  many  in  the  Scriptures.  Believers  are  to  put 
forth  their  own  exertions,  as  the  children  of  Israel  were 
called  to  go  out  against  their  enemies,  in  the  faith  that 
God  would  give  them  victory,  and  lead  them  to  the  pro- 
mised rest.  The  battle  was  the  Lord's,  and  he  fought 
for  them ;  but  the  means  were  their  exertions.  Believers 
are  God's  workmanship;  but  this  work  he  carries  on 
by  exercising  their  natural  powers,  which  he  sanctifies 
to  a  different  end  from  that  to  which  they  were  former- 
ly by  their  own  spirit  directed.  Still  the  Scripture  tes- 
tifies that,  if  any  man  say  he  has  no  sin,  he  deceives  him- 
self, and  the  truth  is  not  in  him  ;  and,  while  sin  remains, 


372  LETTERS. 

its  consequence,  suffering,  must.  The  judgments  of 
God,  as  the  moral  governor  of  the  world,  are  denounced 
against,  and  executed  upon,  the  workers  of  iniquity. 
The  children  of  God  experience  personal  chastisements 
for  personal  sins,  as  a  provision  of  the  covenant.  PsaL 
Ixxxix.  30.  And,  if  I  mistake  not,  there  are  afflictions 
experienced  by  individuals,  as  members  of  Christ's 
body,  in  which  God  does  not  bring  into  view  the  per- 
sonal sins  of  the  sufferer.  In  this  sense  I  read  Paul's 
epistle  to  the  Colossians,  i.  24. —  Who  now  rejoice  in 
my  sufferings,  and  fill  up  that  which  is  behind  of  the  suf- 
ferings of  Christ  in  my  flesh,  for  his  body's  sake,  which  is 
the  Church.  Thes.  iii.  3.  And  sent  Timotheus  to  es- 
tablish you,  and  to  comfort  you  concerning  your  faith, 
that  no  man  should  be  moved  by  these  afflictions,  for 
yourselves  know  that  we  are  appointed  thereunto. 
Phil.  ii.  17.  Yea,  if  I  be  offered  upon  the  sacrifice^  and 
service  of  your  faith,  I  joy  and  rejoice  with  you  all ;  for  the 
same  cause  do  ye  joy  and  rejoice  with  me.  2  Cor.  i.  6. 
And  whether  we  be  afflicted,  it  is  for  your  consolation  and 
salvation  ;  and  whether  we  be  comforted,  it  is  fdr  your  sal- 
vation and  consolation.  There  is  no  conscious  personal 
sin  expressed  in  these  sufferings ;  on  the  contrary,  Paul 
says,  verse  12,  For  our  rejoicing  is  this,  the  testimony  of 
our  conscience,  that  in  simplicity  and  godly  sincerity,  not 
with  fleshly  wisdom,  but  by  the  grace  of  God,  we  have  had 
our  conversation  in  the  world,  and  more  abundantly  to  you- 
ivard. 

Most  of  the  prophets,  and  all  the  apostles,  except 
one,  suffered  martyrdom.  Those  indeed  were  public 
characters,  but  the  beggar  Lazarus,  who,  in  addition 
to  poverty,  was  full  of  sores,  was  carried  by  the  angels 
from  the  rich  man's  gate  to  Abraham's  bosom.  And 
thousands  and  tens  of  thousands  of  redeemed  highly 


LETTERS.  373 

sanctified  ones  have  suffered  lengthened  martyrdom, 
and  perished  with  hunger,  in  holes  and  caves  of  the 
earth,  unknown  in  history,  except  in  groups — unseen  at 
the  time,  except  by  the  eye  of  the  omniscient  Jehovah, 
in  whose  view  the  hairs  of  their  head  stand  numbered  ; 
their  tears  are  in  his  bottle ;  nor  shall  one  sigh  nor  one 
groan  perish  without  its  result. 

O,  my  Eliza,  what  delightful  wonders  shall  open  to 
our  view,  when  delivered  from  these  prison-holds  of 
earth  ! 

I  have  finished  one  sheet,  my  dear  Eliza  ;  I  fear  it  is 
too  much,  and  may  prove  too  fatiguing,  especially  as 
there  are  many  references  requiring  a  stretch  of  atten- 
tion. I  have  been  reading  the  epistle  to  the  Hebrews, 
and  you  have  naturally  got  my  thoughts  on  part  of  it. 

I  remember  once  of  your  complaining  that  you  had 
made  small  progress  in  knowledge,  in  comparison  of  a 
young  person  that  had  just  left  you ;  but  you  checked 
yourself,  and  said,  "  The  Lord  has  given  me  faith,  let 
me  be  thankful."  I  at  that  time  considered  your  de- 
parture as  very  near,  and  advised  you  to  keep  your  eye 
iixed  on  Christ,  as  your  Redeemer  and  Saviour,  who 
had  performed  all  things  for  you,  and  would  perfect  all 
that  concerned  you;  and  added,  one  hour  in  Heaven 
will  make  you  wiser  than  the  most  enlightened  Saint 
on  earth.  Since  that  it  has  pleased  your  Lord  to  add 
many  days  to  your  life.  He  has  mitigated  your  pain, 
and  given  you  some  intervals  of  ease  and  composure, 
and  our  dear  Eliza  has  grown  in  that  time.  Should  it 
please  God  to  spare  you  for  a  yet  longer  season,  and 
continue  your  intervals  of  ease,  no  subject  can  be  so 
profitable ;  and  I  hope  your  Lord  will  make  it  pleasant 
as  that  of  the  contents  of  the  New  Testament  which 
your  Saviour  bequeathed  to  you,  sealed  and  ratified  in 


374  LETTER*. 

his  blood.  There  are  a  vast  variety  of  precious  pro- 
mises contained  in  the  Scriptures  of  the  Old  and  New 
Testament,  which  are  all  yours  with  Christ ;  for,  as  a 
member  of  his  body,  you  are  built  upon  the  foundation  of 
the  apostles  and  prophets,  Jesus  Christ  himself  being  the 
chief  corner  stone.  And  now  1  commend  you  to  your 
own  covenant  God,  who  does  and  will  support  you 
through  life  and  through  death  to  that  happy  land, 
where  we  shall  all  meet ;  and,  O,  then,  eye  hath  not  seen, 
nor  ear  heard  ;  neither  hath  it  entered  into  the  heart  of  man 
to  conceive  the  things  he  hath  prepared  for  them,  that  love 
him, 

I  am,  with  much  love  and  affection, 
Yours, 

I.  GRAHAM. 


To  Mr.  JAMES  TODD,  JVcw-YorL'       ; 

my  dear  james,  Rockaway,  L.  1. 

This  will  probably  be  handed  you  by  our  mu- 
tual friend,  Mrs.  C •.     The  thought  of  her  being 

with  you,  makes  me  part  with  her  with  less  reluctance. 
You  have  not  been  forgotten  by  either;  we  have  talked 
much  of  you,  and  have  united  in  prayer  to  your  and  our 
God,  that  he  may  manifest  himself  unto  you  as  your  re- 
conciled Father  in  Christ  Jesus ;  and  give  you  joy  and 
peace  in  believing — that  he  may  give  you  patience  in 
suffering,  and  entire  resignation  to  his  most  holy  will. 
It  has,  my  dear-  young  friend,  been  my  earnest  inqui- 
ry, especially  of  late  years,  standing  on  the  brink  of  eter- 
nity, "  What  is  there  within  us,  or  without  us,  on  which 
a  sinner  can  rest  in  a  dying  hour  ?''  If  it  be  a  holy 
life,- there  is  no  peace  for  me.    Taking  the  law  of  God 


LETTERS.  376 

for  my  rule,  backslider  is  my  name ;  yet  peace  I  have 
found,  and  on  the  best  security;  this  blessed  Bible  is  my 
charter.  I  have  searched  it  with  diligence  and  prayer, 
and  my  mind  is  confirmed  in  the  following  truths : — 
That  the  whole  world  is  become  guilty  before  God, 
and  is  under  his  wrath  and  curse  on  that  account.  This 
is  our  state:  a  miserable  state  it  is,  and  as  hopeless  as 
miserable,  for  any  thing  we  can  do  for  ourselves.  But 
I  read  in  this  Bible  to  the  full  amount  of  the  following 
conclusions — that  in  the  counsel  of  the  mysterious  tri- 
une Jehovah,  Jesus  Christ,  the  second  person  of  the  in- 
comprehensible Trinity,  was  sanctified,  or  set  apart  to 
become  the  Saviour  of  their  law-condemned  sinners,  to 
take  their  nature  upon  him,  and  the  whole  of  the  re- 
quisitions of  the  eternal  immutable  law  of  God  upon 
him,  to  become  in  every  sense  their  surety.  Man  is  a 
rebel,  it  is  put  to  his  account — a  penalty  is  incurred, 
He,  as  their  surety,  is  made  liable.  Are  they  again  to 
be  made  heirs  of  eternal  life  ?  Perfect  obedience  is  the 
condition,  and  of  him,  as  their  surety,  it  is  demanded. 
All  this  being  fulfilled,  sinners  are  become  his  proper- 
ty— he  has  paid  their  debts,  fulfilled  their  duties,  and 
merited  for  them  eternal  life,  all  in  their  own  nature,  as 
their  head  and  representative;  so  that  believers  are 
complete  in  him.  This  is  the  righteousness  of  God, 
wrought  out  by  Jesus  Christ,  in  his  own  person,  God 
man,  as  their  surety.  To  this  nothing  of  the  believers 
is  to  be  added — with  this  nothing  of  his  mixed ;  it  is 
for  ever  perfect ;  entirely  distinct  from  that  holiness  of 
heart  and  life  which  is  wrought  in  him  in  consequence 
of  this.  It  is  the  believer's  by  pure  imputation.  God 
has  declared  himself  well  pleased  with  this  righteous- 
nc^>.  and  that  being  himself  reconciled,  he  is  in  Christ 
Jesus  reconciling  sinners  to  him.     Hence  all  the  invita- 


376  ■  LETTERS. 

tions  scattered  thick  in  the  Old  and  New  Testament, 
not  only  to  the  penitent,  weary,  and  heavy  laden,  but 
to  the  stout-hearted,  the  backslider,  to  them  that  are 
wearying  themselves  in  their  own  way.  Ho  !  every  one 
that  thirsteth,  whosoever  will,  let  him  come  and  take  of  the 
ivater  of  life  freely.  Hence  all  the  promises  annexed  to 
believing,  accepting,  receiving,  trusting,  resting:  Christ 
the  Saviour  is  the  object — the  gift  of  God  to  sinners  for 
all  the  above  purposes.  The  Lord  has  convinced  me 
that  I  have  nothing  in  myself  on  which  I  can  rest ;  my 
conscience  echoes  to  his  word  in  all  that  it  asserts  of 
my  nature  and  my  state :  but  this  Saviour  is  provided 
for  sinners  exactly  of  this  description.  I  am  invited  to 
put  in  my  claim,  I  believe  the  record,  I  rest  my  salva- 
tion on  his  word  ;  God  giveth  to  me  eternal  life,  and 
this  life  is  in  his  Son.  Jesus  calls  me  to  look  unto 
him,  and  be  saved ;  [do  look  unto  him,  and  I  am  saved. 
He  assures  me  that  those  who  come  unto  him  shall 
never  be  cast  out.  I  do  go.  to  him,  and  commit  my  sin- 
ful soul  to  his  keeping;  I  shall  not  be  cast  out.  That 
as  many  as  receive  the  gift  of  his  Son,  receive  at  the 
same  time  power  to  become  the  children  of  God.  I  do 
receive  his  gift,  and  lay  claim  to  his  promise.  He  is 
my  reconciled  Father,  and  I  am  his  adopted  child,  and 
he  hath  sent  his  Spirit  into  my  heart,  by  which  I  can 
say,  Abba,  Father.  I  have,  my  dear  James,  taken  this 
method  of  laying  before  you  the  grounds  of  my  own 
hope,  because  I  think  it  the  most  simple  method,  and 
containing  at  the  same  time  my  counsel  to  you  to  lay 
hold  on  the  same  hope.  The  warrant  is  given  us  in 
God's  own  word,  as  sinners,  without  respect  to  fruit  or 
any  works  of  ours.  I  can,  if  necessary,  give  yon  chap- 
ter and  verse,  to  the  full  amount ;  but  you  have  those 
about  you  who  can  give  it  you  by  little  and  little,  as 


LETTERS.  377 

your  weak  state  can  bear  it.  This  gift  is  held  out  to 
the  sinner's  acceptance  in  many  places  of  the  word  of 
God,  and  becomes  the  sinner's  in  the  moment  of  be- 
lieving. Provision  is  made  by  the  same  covenant  for 
his  sanctincation  ;  but  that  makes  no  part  of  justifying 
righteousness.  Christ  is  made  of  God  unto  him  wis- 
dom, righteousness,  sanctincation,  and  complete  re- 
demption. Try,  my  precious  young  friend,  to  lay  hold 
on  this  hope,  and  enter  into  the  rest  provided  for  the 
believer  here.  Stretch  forth  the  withered  hand,  the 
Lord  himself  will  give  you  strength.  Commit  your 
precious  soul  into  his  hands,  and  rest  assured  that  he 
will  perfect  all  that  concerns  you — work  all  his  work 
in  you — carry  you  safely  through  the  Jordan  of  death, 
and  put  you  in  possession  of  the  inheritance  he  has  pur- 
chased for  you.  That  all  this  shall  be,  is  the  prayer 
and  firm  hope  of 

Your  affectionate  friend, 

ISABELLA  GRAHAM. 


To  Mrs.  J.  W— . 

Greenwich,  1814. 

•  J — ,  Did  not  the  dove,  my  dear,  get  into  the  Ark  ? 
Yes,  Noah  put  out  his  hand  and  pulled  her  in :  both 
are  types  of  Christ.  He  is  the  Ark  of  safety  from 
the  flood  of  wrath  that  must  overwhelm  unbelievers. 

I  know  not,  my  dear,  the  amount  of  that,  over  which 
you  mourn  with  so  much  agony;  I  know  not  even  if  it 
be  sinful,  except  in  the  circumstances;  you  are  con- 
scious of  sincerity,  and  you  do  not  now  wish  to  draw 
back.  We  can,  my  dear,  do  nothing  in  our  own 
strength;  no,  not  so  much  as  think  a  good  thought. 

3  B 


378  LETTERS. 

To  make  any  resolution  without  dependence  on  God 
for  strength  to  perform,  is  sinful ;  to  make  any  vow 
without  a  consciousness  of  our  weakness  and  depend- 
ence on  God  for  strength  to  perform,  is  an  aggrava- 
tion of  the  resolution.  I  suppose  my  J.  has  sinned: 
what  then  ?  If  any  man  say  he  has  no  sin,  he  deceives 
himself,  and  the  truth  is  not  in  him.  And  if  you  sup- 
pose that  your  sin  in  this,  is  greater  than  many  other 
sins,  with  their  aggravations,  you  judge  wrong.  I 
think  that  any  one  deliberate  sin,  wilfully  committed, 
with  the  knowledge  that  it  is  sin,  is  greater  than  yours 
in  such  circumstances.  You  are  bound  by  your  vow, 
and  God  will  enable  you  to  perform  it.  Turn,  my  dear, 
to  the  2d  chapter  of  the  Acts  of  the  Apostles,  where 
Peter  preaches  to  the  very  murderers  of  our  blessed 
Saviour,  and  charges  the  guilt  upon  them;  verse  22d, 
and  a^ain  in  verse  26th,  Therefore,  let  all  the  house  of 
Israel  know  assuredly,  that  this  same  Jesus  whom,  ye  cru- 
cified, Qod  hath  made  both  Lord  and  Christ :  and  when 
they  heard  this,  they  were  pricked  in  their  hearts.  Read 
on,  my  dear ;  Peter  exhorts  even  them,  to  repent  and 
be  baptized  in  the  name  of  Christ,  for  the  remission 
of  sins.  I  make  no  doubt,  but  many  have  made  vows 
in  a  rash  manner;  but,  so  far  as  I  know,  you  have 
vowed  only  to  serve  the  Lord:  this  you  are  bound  to 
do  with  or  without  a  vow;  and  if  the  Lord  makes 
this  vow  the  means  of  keeping  you  watchful,  and 
humble,  and  firm,  in  avoiding  what  you  have  vowed 
against,  it  will,  by  his  overruling  Spirit,  prove  a  bless- 
inof.  "  You  do  not  know  where  to  look  for  comfort!7* 
To  Jesus,  my  dear ;  not  to  yourself,  not  to  any  crea- 
ture. Look  unto  me  and  be  saved,  all  the  ends  of  the 
earth,  for  I  am  God,  and  there  is  none  else.  Isaiah  xlv.  22. 
O  Israel,  thou  hast  destroyed  thyself,  but  in  me  is  thy  help. 


LETTERS.  379 

Hosea  xiii.  9.  and  chapter  xiv.    Take  a  view,  my  dear, 
of  the  character  of  God  in  his  dealings  with  his  per- 
verse Israel,  after  they  had  made  the  molten  calf,  and 
sinned  otherwise  grievously  against  God.     He,  at  the 
intercession  of  Moses,  forgave  their  sin,  and  proclaim- 
ed that  wonderful  name,  which  to  this  day  is  the  en- 
couragement of  convinced  sinners,   and  mine  in  parti- 
cular.    Exodus  xxxiv.  5.    And   the   Lord   passed   by 
him,    (Moses,)   and  proclaimed,     The  Lord,  the  Lord 
God,  merciful  and  gracious,  long-suffering,  abundant  in 
goodness  and  truth,  keeping  mercy  for  thousands,  forgiv- 
ing iniquity,  transgression,  and  sin.     And  how  can  God 
do  this,  whose  law  is,  as  himself,  immutable  ?    and  he 
adds,  that  he  will  by  no  means  clear  the  guilty.     Look 
now  to  the  liii.  chapter  of  Isaiah,  where  you  will  find 
your  Redeemer  standing  in  your  room  and  stead.     In 
the  xxx.  chapter  is  another  amazing  display  of  God's 
forgiveness.     The   prophet  begins  the  chapter  with, 
Woe  to  the  rebellious  children  ;  and  lays  grievous  things 
to  their  charge,  till  you  come  to  the  18th  verse,  where 
he  says,   Therefore  ivill  the  Lord  wait,  that  he  may  be 
gracious  to  you :    therefore  will  he  be  exalted,  that  he  may 
have  mercy  upon  you  ;  for  the  Lord  is  a  God  of  judg- 
ment, blessed  are  all  they  that  wait  for  him.     Once  more, 
look  at  the  proclamation,  Jeremiah  iii.  12.     God  has 
provided  a  sacrifice  of  sufficient  value  to  atone  for  our 
most  aggravated  transgressions.     And  a  righteousness 
answerable  to  the  utmost  extent  of  his  holy  law.     Both 
are  made  over  to  the  sinner  by  free  gift     2  Cor.  v.  21, 
He  Itath  made  him  to  be  sin  for  us,  wito  knew  no  sin,  that 
ice  might  be  made  the  righteousness  of  God  in  him.     In 
him — He,  our  Surety,  having  fulfilled  all  righteousness 
for  us,  as  our  Surety  and  Representative. 

You  fear  that  it  is  not  the  hand  of  the  Lord  thai 


380  LETTERS- 


IS 


upon   you.     I  do  think  that  it  is,  my  J — .     It  is  the 
peculiar  office  of  the  Spirit  to   convince  of  sin  :  and  I 
do  think   he   is   at   this  time  dealing  with  your  soul. 
But  why  look  so  much'at  your  vow  ?  you  have  sinned, 
my  J — ,  in   heart,  lip,  and  life.      Thou  shalt  love  the 
Lord  thy   God  with  all  thy   heart.     O  my  J — ,   what 
prostituted    affections !     what   mispent  time !      While 
God  says,    Whether  you  eat  or  drink,  or  whatsoever  you 
do,  do  all  to  the  glory  of  God.      What  self-indulgence, 
and  self-will,  instead  of  self-denial !    Listen  to  the  voice 
of  convictions :  listen  to  it  as  the  voice  of  mercy,  lead- 
ing you   to   Christ,   the    great   propitiatory   Sacrifice* 
The  Lamb  of  God  which  taheth  away  the  sins  of  the 
world.     Go  to  Christ,  my  dear,  as  a  sinner:  tell  him, 
you  commit  your  sinful,  depraved  soul  into  his  hands. 
Say,    thou    hast    bid     me   look  unto    thee,   and   be 
saved  ?     Saviour,  I  do  look   unto  thee  for  salvation. 
Wash  me  in  thy  blood,  clothe  me  in  thy  righteousness; 
sanctify  me  by  thy  Grace;, accept  of  me  as  thy  par- 
doned, saved  child ;  and  be  Surety  for  me  for  good : 
that,  having  vowed  to  thee  that  I  would  be  th^  seivant,. 
I  may  perform  my  vow  ;  furnish  me  with  both  will  and 
power  to  devote  myself  to  thee  every  day  of  my  life. 
Try,   my  dear,   to  rest  on  Christ;    put  your  trust  in 
him :  if  you  do,  he  will  not  disappoint  you :  as  your 
faith,  so  shall  it  be  unto  you.     Now,  faith  is  a  saving 
grace;  thereby  we  receive,  and  rest  upon  Christ  for 
salvation,  as  he  is  offered  to  us  in  the  Gospel.     Do  as 
you  have  said ;  wait  his  appointed  time,  in  the  use  of 
means,  till  he  manifest  himself  to  you.     I  am  hurried 
for  time  to  get  this  to  town.     Farewell.     I  will  pray 
for  you. 

I.  G. 


BETTERS*  $81 

To  Dr.  H.  M— ,  Rothsay,  Bute. 

November  11,  1799. 

MY  DEAR  BROTHER, 

Before  this  reaches  you,  the  public  papers  will 
have  informed  you  of  the  desolation  of  New-York,  by 
the  yellow-fever.     We  are  among  the  escaped;   and 
there  are  no  breaches  in  the  family.     My  health,  and 
that  of  the  family,  made  the  country  necessary  to  us  at 
any  rate,  and  we  had  left  town  previous  to  its  becom- 
ing general :  but  Mr.  B —  kept  in  the  city,  only  sleep- 
ing in  the  country,  till  45  were  carried  off  in  a  night. 
The  inhabitants  abandoned  the  city  in  crowds,  spread- 
ing over  the  adjacent  countries ;  in   Long-Island,  Jer- 
sey, and  New-York,  for  sixty  miles  round.     In  the  most 
busy  trading  streets,  a  person  might  have  walked  half 
a  mile   without  meeting  an  individual,  or  seeing  an 
open  house,  or  shop.     Eleven  physicians  and  surgeons 
fell  sacrifices   to   it :  five  of  them  men   of  eminence ; 
several  were  confined    by  mere  fatigue,  and  had  te 
retire    to     rest,     relieving    others     when     recruited. 
Dr.  B — ,  one    of    our    oldest,    and     most    eminent 
physicians,  who  had  retired  from  business  two  years 
ago,  and  lived  on  his  estate  in   the  country,  hearing 
of  the  distress  of  his  brethren,  and  the  impossibility 
of    their    answering   all    the    calls    of   the    sick   and 
dying,  left  his  retreat,  returned  to  town,  and  slaved  to 
the  last.     His  affectionate   wife  would  not  be  left  be- 
hind, but  determined   to  share  or  witness  his  fate.     It 
has  pleased  God   to  preserve  them   both.     Notwith- 
standing the  general  flight,  the  mortality  amongst  those 
that  remained  was  so  great,  that  for  three  weeks  from  48 
to  54  died  every  24  hours;  this  was  no  vague  report, 
but  that  of  the  physicians,  and  published  in  die  daily 


382  LETTERS. 

news-papers.  The  Churches  were  shut  up,  except 
those  which  stood  out  of  danger.  Great  numbers 
carried  the  infection  with  them  to  the  country,  as  far 
as  60  and  80  miles,  and  died  there;  almost  every  one 
that  took  it  in  the  country  died,  having  no  proper  me- 
dical assistance ;  I  do  not  remember  of  one  that  re- 
covered; many  did  in  the  city  and  in  the  hospitals, 
Some  died  without  getting  sight  of  a  Doctor;  some, 
alone,  deserted  by  every  creature.  The  coffins  were 
ready  made,  the  graves  ready  dug,  and  the  minute  the 
last  breath  was  fetched,  they  wTere  buried  with  the 
utmost  despatch.  Many  widows  had  to  put  their  own 
husbands  in  the  coffin,  with  the  assistance  of  the  ma- 
ker; and  often,  very  often,  there  was  not  a  creature 
at  the  burial,  but  the  man  that  drove  the  herse,  who 
assisted  the  sexton  to  put  the  body  under  the  ground. 
I  myself  met  a  herse,  followed  by  three  well  dressed 
females,  not  a  man  but  the  driver.  Long  before  this, 
your  heart  has  asked,  what  became  of  the  poor? 
wonders  were  done  for  them,  yet  many  suffered  for 
want  of  nursing.  A  number  of  humane  men  formed 
themselves  into  a  Society,  sought  them  out,  and  minis- 
tered relief  from  the  public  funds.  Two  cook's  shops 
in  different  quarters  of  the  city  prepared  soup,  meat, 
vegetables,  and  bread.  A  committee  sat  in  the  alms 
house  every  day,  from  nine  to  one  o'clock,  to  receive 
such  reports  or  applications  as  might  be  made  to  them, 
either  by,  or  in  behalf  of,  the  sick  or  poor;  and  they 
were  visited,  and  nurses  and  medical  attendance  paid 
by  the  public,  as  well  as  every  species  of  necessaries ; 
but  alas !  nurses  were  not  to  be  had ;  doctors  could 
only  be  at  one  place  at  a  time.  When  speaking  of 
the  poor,  I  omitted  mentioning  the  large  donations 
which  were  sent  from  both  town  and  country,  to  the 


LETTERS.  383 

tommittee: — flour,  meal,  fowls,  sheep,  vegetables, 
money,  and  clothes.  One  of  the  members  of  this  So- 
ciety told  me  that  there  was  a  plentiful  supply ;  and 
temporary  hospitals,  and  other  buildings,  were  erected 
for  the  reception  of  the  sick  and  recovering:  every 
thing:  that  could  be  done  was  done  to  soften  the  cala- 
mity. 

I  am  obliged  to  stop  abruptly.     Love  to  all  with 
you. 

Yours,  ever, 

I.  GRAHAM. 


TO    THE    SAME. 

New-York,  March  3,   1800. 
Here  comes  a  letter  of  wo  from  my  dear  brother, 
on  a  subject  almost  already  forgotten  in  New-York, 
the  yellow  fever.     Strange   as   it   may   seem,  the  dis- 
ease, and  all  that  it  carried  off,  seem  entirely  out  of 
mind.     No  mention   made   of  the  past,  no  apprehen- 
sions  for  the   future.     Country  retreats  are  multiply- 
ing around,  and  people  appear  as  if  they  had  made  a 
Covenant  with  death.     Potter's  field  is  filled  with  our 
principal  citizens.     The  prison,  and  prison  limits,  with 
many  of  the  survivors.     The  rest  are  feasting,  dancingt 
and  revelling,  or  weeping  over  feigned  wo  in  the  thea- 
tre.    A  few  escaped,  who  have  fled  for  refuge  to  the 
hope  set  before  them ;   whose  eyes  have  been  opened 
to  discern  the  danger,  and  accept  the  offered  Saviour  : 
among  which  number,  I  dare,  through  Grace,  reckon 
your  sister,  and  her  children.     Bless  the  Lord.   O  my 
soul,  and  forget  not  all  his  benefits.     The  city,  (indeed, 
ihe  United  States,)   have  been  swallowed  up  in   the 


884  LETTERS. 

loss  of  Washington.  The  utmost  stretch  of  human 
eloquence  has  been  called  forth  in  panegyric.  His 
eulogium  has  been  sounded  in  every  possible  mode — 
not  excepting  our  pulpits.  The  22d  of  February,  his 
birth-day,  was  set  apart  to  his  memory.  Two  of  our 
ministers  were  appointed  to  pronounce  an  eulogium  on 
his  character :  one  of  whom  was  Dr.  Mason,  the  other 
Dr.  Linn.  The  last  I  admired;  it  had  its  due  in- 
fluence over  me  ;  but  of  my  own  minister,  I  could 
form  no  judgment;  the  CEurch,  the  pulpit,  the  man, 
the  words,  seemed  so  connected  with  the  Lord  Jesus 
Christ,  his  favourite  theme,  I  could  not  realize  the 
mere  orator. — Great  things  were  said  of  Washington, 
and  they  were  due.  The  Lord  himself  called  him  by 
name,  girded  him,  subdued  great  armies  before  him* 
with  handfuls,  like  Gideon.  He  gave  him  wisdom  in 
counsel,  and  prudence  in  executing  justice.  A  nation 
blessed  him  while  he  lived,  and  with  all  the  power  of 
language  lamented  his  death.  Ah,  human  depravity! 
how  striking !  Bursting  with  gratitude  to  a  creature — 
with  enmity  to  a  Saviour  God.  To  God,  whb  so  loved 
the  worlds  that  he  gave  his  only  begotten  Son,  that  who- 
soever  believeth  on  him  should  not  perish.,  but  have  ever- 
lasting life.  And  to  as  many  as  receive  him,  to  them 
gives  he  power  to  become  the  sons  of  God,  by  put- 
ting his  Spirit  within  them,  and  causing- them  to  love, 
and  walk  in  his  statutes.  But,  alas !  the  carnal,  unre- 
newed mind  is  enmity  against  God  and  his  Christ. 
O  that  men  were  wise,  and  could  see  their  disease,  and 
the  remedy !  What  misery  is  in  the  world  at  this  day, 
it  is  only  equalled  by  the  wickedness.  How  does  pot- 
sherd dash  against  potsherd,  mutually  destroying  each 
other !  How  consoling  to  the  Christian,  that  the  Lord 
reigns!     The  Lord  sits  King  among  the  nations,  even 


LETTERS.  385 

©ur  own  Jesus,  Head  over  all  principalities  and  powers, 
and  dominions,  and  every  name  that  is  named  in  heaven 
and  in  earth :  all  these  shakings,  turnings,  and  over- 
turnings,  shall  prove  subservient  to  the  real  prosperity 
of  his  Church.  Great  things  are  on  the  wheel !  Soon 
shall  the  righteous  shine  forth  as  the  sun  in  the  firma- 
ment. There  appears  also  to  be  a  shaking  in  the 
Church.  I  hear  strange  things  from  Edinburgh,  of 
which  I  can  form  no  judgment.  Men  going  to  re- 
verse the  Scripture  order  of  the  laying  on  of  the 
hands  of  the  Presbytery;  yet  preaching  in  purity, 
with  zeal,  the  faith  once  delivered,  unto  the  Saints,  and 
the  Lord  working  by  them  in  turning  many  to  himself. 
The  regular-bred,  licenced,  and  ordained  ministers, 
leaving:  their  flocks,  and  going  with  these  others. 
What  can  this  be  ?  where  can  it  end  ?  can  the  Re- 
deemer's kingdom  be  divided  against  itself?  It  may 
seem  so  for  a  time,  through  indwelling  corruption,  and 
outward  temptation,  suited  to  the  times :  still  the  king- 
dom of  Christ  is  one — one  body ;  the  Lord  shall  chas- 
ten, purge,  heal,  and  unite,  till  all  shall  be  one  stick  in 
his  hand.     Amen.     Lord  do  as  thou  hast  promised. 

I  wrote  you  a  sketch  of  our  Widow's  Society.  1 
send  you  a  Constitution.  We  are  all  on  foot ;  the  mo- 
thers healthy,  the  children  thriving.  1  hope  you  can 
give  the  same  account  of  yours.  Love  to  all  you)' 
dear  friends. 

Yours  ever, 

I.  GRAHAM 


3  C 


186 


LETTERS. 


To  Dr.  MARSHALL. 

New- York,  April '.24,  1802, 

After  a  years  silence  J  have  a  letter  from  my  dear 
brother.     What  I  have  suffered,  He  only  knows,  who 
knoweth  all  things.     I  am  too  happy  to  know  that  you 
live,  and  that  your  dear  family  are  in  a  measure  of 
health,  to  scold.     The  sweet  Isabella  has  disappointed 
your  fears,  and  lives.     My  dear  brother  seems  the  most 
afflicted  for  the  present,  and  adds  to  present  suffering, 
cares  for  futurity,  to  which  he  is  not  entitled.     O,  my 
brother,  has  God  given  his  Son  to  be  a  suffering  sub- 
stitute in  the  room  of  sinners,  and  shall  he  not  with 
him  give  all  things  necessary  for   life  and  godliness? 
Oh !  my  dear  brother,  you  have,  I  think,  taken  hold  of- 
God's  covenant :  the  style  of  your  last,  and  of  several 
of  your  former  letters,  seem  to  intimate  this  to  be  youi 
desire.     God  is  by  Christ  reconciling  the  world  to  him- 
self.    By  the  constitution  of  that  covenant,  transacted 
in  heaven  and  executed  in  our  world,  the  purchase  price 
is  paid,  a  finished  salvation  provided,  and  ready  to  be 
bestowed,  upon  no  harder  terms  than  the  sinner's  ac- 
ceptance— its  blessings  are  free.     This  is  the  records 
that  God  giveth  to  us  eternal  life,  and  this  life  is  in  his 
Son.     God  so  loved  a  lost  world,  that  he  gave  his  only 
begotten  Son,    that   ivhosoever    believeth   in  him   should 
not    perish,  but  have  everlasting  life.      Ho !    every  one 
that  thirsteth,  &c.     Now,  my  brother,  if  God  has  in 
clined^your  he&rt  to  seek  an  interest  in  that  salvation 
which  he  himself  has  provided  for  sinners,  you  have  re- 
ceived in  part;  for  the  subduing  of  the  heart  is  God's 
work.     God   has  appointed  means  by  which  we  are 
called  to  be  engaged ;  but  the  success  of  these  depends- 


LETTERS.  387 

$n  his  blessing.  That  we  can  do  nothing  of  ourselves 
is  no  discouragement,  while  he  has  not  only  promised, 
but  commanded  and  promised.  "  Ask  that  ye  may  re- 
ceive— seek  that  ye  may  find,  and  knock  that  it  may  be 
opened  unto  you ;  for  every  one  that  asketli  receiveth," 
&c.  &c.  This  salvation  is  all  of  God's  providing — the 
subjects  of  it  are  ruined,  lost,  rebellious,  ungodly  sin- 
ners, under  the  sentence  of  condemnation.  The  sub- 
stance of  it  is  a  perfect  complete  surety-righteousness 
wrought  out  in  the  person  of  Christ,  and  transferred  to, 
imputed  to,  made  over  to  the  sinner  as  his  own,  as  fully, 
as  completely,  as  if  he  had  wrought  it  out  in  his  own 
person.  When  the  sinner  accepts  of  this  as  the  gift  of 
God  to  him — rests  his  soul  upon  God's  promise  that  he 
shall  have  eternal  life,  he  becomes  according  to  the 
order  of  God's  covenant,  an  adopted  son.  It  is  no  pre- 
sumption to  call  God  his  reconciled  Father,  and  to  lay 
claim  to  all  the  promises  in  the  old  and  in  the  new  Tes- 
tament, as  his  own.  It  is  his  duty  to  cultivate  confi- 
dence in  God,  to  call  him  his  Father,  his  own  reconciled 
Father  in  Christ  Jesus;  who  is,  according  to  his  own 
appointment,  mediator,  peace-maker,  redeemer:  and 
the  Holy  Ghost,  by  the  same  appointment  and  order — 
the  Lord,  the  Sanctifier.  Whenever  the  sinner  consi- 
ders himself  as  reconciled,  by  dwelling  upon  his  happy 
deliverance,  his  escape,  his  blessed  situation,  and  pros- 
pects ;  by  viewing  the  grace  by  which  he  is  delivered, 
and  his  obligations  to  his  deliverer,  he  becomes  grate- 
ful:  according  to  the  order  of  this  same  well-ordered 
covenant,  he  receives  favour  to  become  the  child  of 
God.  John.  1st  chapter.  To  as  many  as  received 
him,  gave  he  power  to  become  the  sons  of  God  ;  even 
to  them  who  believe  on  his  name.  It  is  the  finished 
righteousness  of  our  blessed  surety  that  redeems  ill 


388  LETTERS. 

from  hell  and  death,  and  gives  us  a  title  to  eternal  life ; 
but  our  comfortable  views  of  this,  our  steadfast  hopes, 
our  higher  or  lower  attainments  in  the  divine  life,  our 
God  has  made,  in  some  measure,  conditional.  H  we 
make  a  bold,  full  profession — if  we  are  diligent  in  the 
use  of  means — if  we  cultivate  communion  with  God,  by 
reading,  meditation,  and  prayer,  we  are  likely  to  be- 
come rich  in  faith,  and  holy  in  heart,  life,  and  conver- 
sation. But  if  we,  through  shame,  and  the  fear  of  con- 
tempt, conform  too  much  fo  the  world — be  timid  sneak- 
ing Christians,  ashamed  of  God's  method  of  salvation, 
and  covering  our  Christian  motives  under  the  cloak  of 
philosophy,  benevolence,  &c.  &c.  we  need  not  be  sur- 
prised if  the  Lord  deny  us  the  testimony  qf  his  Spirit, 
witnessing  with  our  own  heart  that  we  are  born  of 
God ;  or  if,  through  indolence,  love  of  the  world,  and 
unnecessary  enlargements  and  weights,  we  neglect 
prayer,  reading,  meditation,  the  means  of  conversing 
with  God,  we  need  not  be  surprised  if  we  are  cold  and 
languid,  afraid  of  death,  afraid  of  a  thousand  evils, 
which  the  Lord  may  permit  to  haunt  us  ;  have  little  en- 
joyment in  religion,  and  little  happiness :  added  to  this, 
much  chastisement,  and  affliction.  Some  Christians  are 
saved,  so  as  by  fire;  some  reach  the  haven  through 
mists,  storms,  tempests,  without. the  cheerful  sun,  and 
arrive  safe,  through  the  merits  of  that  Redeemer,  who 
never  failed  one  that  hung  upon  him;  but  they  arrive 
like  a  poor  shattered  barque,  that  has  hardly  escaped 
shipwreck  :  others  go  through  this  world,  doing  the 
will  of  God,  and  suffering  the  will  of  God — fighting 
against  corruption  within,  and  temptation  without,  in 
faith  and  full  confidence  that  they  have  grace  to,  help  in 
every  time  of  need.  They  ask,  and  they  receive ;  they 
fall- often  when  un watchful,  but  they  rise  again,  and  re- 


LETTERS.  389 

new  the  light,  having  an  advocate  with  the  Father,  and 
a  merciful  High-Priest,  who  is  touched  with  the  feel- 
ing of  their  infirmities.  They  confess,  ask  forgiveness, 
believe  that  thej  are  forgiven,  still  hold  fast  their  con- 
fidence ;  the  Lord,  whose  prerogative  it  is  to  bring 
good  out  of  evil,  making  their  very  failures  the  means 
of  more  steadfast  walking,  by  making  them  more  hum- 
ble, more  dependent,  more  watchful,  more  prayerful. 
At  length  they  overcome,  and  have  an  abundant  en- 
trance into  the  kingdom  of  their  Lord  and  Saviour. 
Like  a  stately  ship  in  full  sail,  with  wind  and  tide,  they 
enter  the  haven  of  eternal  rest. 

Oh !  my  brother,  be  not  a  Christian  by  halves — be- 
lieve confidently,  join  the  Lord's  people  fully  and  open- 
ly— watch,  pray,  fight  against  corruption  within,  and 
temptation  without ;  ask,  and  believe,  and  you  shall  re- 
ceive needful  grace — go  up  through  the  wilderness, 
leaning  on  your  beloved ;  casting  all  your  care  on  him, 
who  hath  promised  to  care  for  you,  and  to  make  all 
things  work  together  for  your  good.  He  has  said 
Leave  your  fatherless  children;  I  will  preserve  them 
alive,  and  let  your  widows  trust  in  me.  He  is  the 
Father  of  the  fatherless,  the  Husband  of  the  widow, 
the  stranger's  shield,  and  the  orphan's  stay;  take  hold 
of- this  promise,  ensure  it  by  trusting  in  it :  for  wherever 
there  is  a  promise  held  up  to  our  faith,  according  to 
our  faith  shall  it  be.  I  think  I  mentioned  in  a  former 
letter  that  it  had  pleased  the  Lord  to  take  to  himself 
dear  little  Isabella  Smith,  one  of  the  loveliest,  sweetest 
babes  I  ever  beheld.  The  stroke  was  severely  felt,  but 
resignation  was  given.  She  is  not  lost,  but  gone  be- 
fore, with  many  others  dear  to  us.  It  will  be  but  a 
little  while,  my  brother,  till  we  shall  all  have  done  with 
every  thing  here.     Oh!    let  us  dwell  upon  the  pur- 


390  LETTERS. 

chased  inheritance,  and  get  above  this  vain,  empty,  en- 
snaring world.  Let  us  try  to  lay  aside  every  weight, 
and  as  every  one  has  some  besetting  sin,  and  that  often 
the  least  known  to  himself,  let  us  search  it  out,  and 
pray  that  it  may  be  realized,  that  we  may  put  a  mark 
upon  our  besetting  sin,  and  a  double  watch,  that  we 
may  be  able  to  lay  it  aside,  and  to  run  with  patience  the 
race  that  is  set  before  ?/$,  looking  unto  Jesus,  who  for  the 
joy  set  before  him,  endured  the  cross,  despised  the  shame, 
and  is  now  set  down  at  the  right  hand  of  God,  where  he 
rules  over  all,  for  the  good  of  his  people,  who  shall 
soon  follow  him,  and  be  made  partakers  of  his  blessed- 
ness. 

Give  my  love  to  my  dear  sister  and  Agnes,  and  all 
the  young  ones. 

Farewell !  I  am  ever  your  affectionate  sister, 

I.  GRAHAM. 


To  Mrs.  MARSHALL. 

Mount  Harmony,  May  21,  1802. 

MY    DEAR    SISTER, 

I  have  just  received  my  brothers  letter  and 
yours.  Sorry,  sorry  am  I  to  find  my  dear  brother*  in 
such  a  broken  state  of  health.  I  say  I  am  sorry — flesh 
and  blood  is  so:  for  no  affliction  for  the  present  is  joy- 
ous, but  grievous ;  and  I  love  my  dear  brother  with  a 
very  tender  affection.  But  there  is  a  belter  principle, 
which  says,  the  will  of  the  Lord  be  done — Good  is  the  will 
of  the  Lord.  The  Lord  hath  said,  /  will  bring  you  into 
the  wilderness,  and  there  will  I  plead  with  you — I  will  bring 
you  within  the  bond  of  my  covenant^  and  ye  shall  be  mine* 


LETTERS.  391 

saith  the  Lord.  O  how  good  !  I  desire  to  bless  God 
for  all  my  mercies ;  but  in  my  present  view,  (next  to 
the  gift  of  his  Son,  and  eternal  life,)  my  afflictions 
have  proved  the  greatest.  So  it  may  prove  with  my 
dear  brother.  You  have  seen  a  good  deal  of  affliction 
in  your  family :  but  a  little  time  will  show  you  that 
you  could  not  have  been  well  without  it.  I  have  had 
my  share  appointed  me  by  my  own  Father.  I  felt  it 
at  the  time  bitter;  yet  even  then  not  altogether  so, 
for  my  mourning  days  have  been  my  best  days  through 
life :  even  they  are  most  comfortable  proofs  of  our 
Father's  love ;  "  Of  all  my  blessings,  stands  this  the 
highest,  that  my  heart  has  bled."  I  bless  God  that 
my  dear  children  are  all  in  his  Covenant ;  that  all 
comes  to  them  from  a  Fathers  hand,  through  the 
channel  of  the  Covenant.  I  experience  the  same  kind 
of  exercise  with  regard  to  your  family ;  you  are  both 
of  the  seed  of  the  righteous — the  children  of  many 
prayers.  Rest  in  the  Lord  my  dear  sister  and  brother; 
receive  all  as  coming  directly  from  him. 

Love  to  your  dear  children.     May  the  Lord  himself 
educate  them  for  his  own  kingdom. 

Yours  ever, 

I.  GRAHAM. 


A  Letter  from  Viscountess  Glenorchy  to  Mrs.  Graham- 
alluded  to  in  her  Life,  page  33. 


Barnton,  December  27,   1781. 

DEAR    MADAM, 

I  received  your  letter  last  week,  and  also  one 
some  time  ago  from  Mrs.  Walker,  in  which  she  desir- 


392  LETTERS. 

ed  me  to  send  you  my  sentiments  upon  the  alteration 
you  had  made,  and  still  thought  of  making,  upon  your 
plan. 

I  have  since  endeavoured  to  consider,  with  all  the 
attention  of  which  I  am  at  present  capable,  the  argu- 
ments that  may  be  brought  on  both  sides  of  the  ques- 
tion ;  and  with  regard  to  the  first  point,  viz  :  the  prac- 
tisings,  I  will  frankly  own,  that,  could  you  send  your 
young  ladies  to  one  where  girls  only  are  admitted,  I 
should  more  readily  yield  my  opinion  of  the  matter, 
to  those  Christians  who  have  advised  you  to  it.  But, 
as  I  learn  that  it  is  a  promiscuous  dance  of  boys  and 
girls,  I  must  in  conscience  say,  that  I  look  upon 
such  a  meeting,  as  equally  pernicious  in  its  effects 
upon  the  minds  of  young  people,  as  balls  and  public 
assemblies  on  persons  of  riper  years.  When  you  men- 
lioned  the  subject  to  me  first,  I  thought  it  had  been 
a  practising  of  girls  only,  else  should  then  have  given 
you  my  sentiments  fully  upon  the  head. 

As  to  the  reading  of  plays,  or  any  part  of  them,  to 
your  young  people,  I  must  own,  it  does  not  appear  to 
me  to  be  expedient :  it  may  be  productive  of  bad 
consequences,  and  the  good  arising'  from  it,  is, 
(at  most,)  uncertain.  It  is,  no  doubt,  very  desirable 
to  enlarge  young  people's  minds,  and  improve  their 
taste,  as  well  as  their  persons  :  but  such  is  the  state 
of  things  in  this  world,  that  to  attain  this  to  the  degree 
wished  for  by  every  person  of  refined  taste,  some 
things  must  be  sacrificed  of  much  greater  value — for 
example,  a  girl'cannot  acquire  the  smart,  polished  air 
of  a  person  of  fashion,  without  imbibing  too  much  of 
the  spirit  of  the  world.  Vanity  and  emulation  must  be 
awakened  and  cultivated  in  the  heart,  before  she  will 
apply  herself  with  diligence   to  outward  accomplish- 


LETTERS.  393 

ments ;  neither  can  her  mind  and  taste  be  much  im- 
proved in  polite  literature,  without  losing  its  relish  for 
simple  truth.  I  grant  you,  there  are  a  few  Christians 
in  the  world  who  have  acquired  the  outward  accom- 
plishments of  it;  and  have,  by  Grace,  been  enabled  to 
turn  these  to  good  account;  who,  like  the  Israelites, 
having  spoiled  the  Egyptians,  have  made  use  of  their 
jewels  in  adorning  the  tabernacle  :  but  this  can  never 
serve  as  an  argument  on  your  side  of  the  question.  If 
the  Lord  sees  fit  to  manifest  his  power  and  Grace  by 
plucking  a  brand  from  the  burning;  this  is  no  reason 
why  children  should  be  initiated  into  the  ways  of  sin 
and  folly,  in  hopes  that  some  time  or  other,  He  will 
bring  them  out.  We  are  never  to  do  evil  that  good 
may  come :  and  this  brings  the  question  to  a  short 
issue. 

Do  you  think  it  lawful  for  Christians  to  attend  pub- 
lic places,  or  to  spend  their  time  in  reading  plays  ? 
Do  you  think  these  things  tend,  either  immediately  or 
remotely,  to  promote  the  glory  of  God  ?  If  you  do 
not,  1  cannot  see  how  you,  as  a  Christian,  can  have 
any  hand  in  introducing  young  ladies  to  the  one,  or  in 
o-ivinor  them  a  taste  for  the  other. 

This,  dear  madam,  is  my  view  of  the  matter:  but  I 
do  -not  wish  you  to  walk  by  my  light.  I  believe  all  the 
children  of  God  are  taught  by  him,  and  ought  to  follow 
the  dictates  of  their  own  consciences  :  I  therefore  pre- 
tend not  to  advise  you,  but  shall  endeavour  to  pray  that 
the  great  unerring  Counsellor  may  give  you  divine 
wisdom  to  be  your  teacher,  to  lead  you  into  all  truth, 
and  to  keep  you  from  every  thing  inconsistent  with  his 
holy  will. 

I  have  met  with  so  many  interruptions  since  I  began 
this  letter,  that  I  fear  it  is  hardly  intelligible.     I  shall 

3  D 


394  LETTERS.. 

be  sorry  if  I  have  said  any  thing  that  gives  you  unea- 
siness;  your  spirits  seem  low,  and  your  business  not 
going  so  well  as  could  be  wished :  perhaps,  I  ought 
rather  to  have  employed  my  pen  in  the  way  of  conso- 
lation and  encouragement,  than  by  throwing  in  fresh 
matter  of  perplexity.  Sure  I  am,  I  do  not  mean  to 
add  affliction  to  the  afflicted;  but,  rather  have  been 
impelled,  from  a  regard  to  truth,  to  write  my  real  sen- 
timents,  as  you  desired. 

Your  friend  and  humble  servant, 
W.  GLENORCHY. 


395 


ADDRESSES. 


To  the  Society  for  the  relief  of  poor  widows  with  small 
children,  in  April,  1800. 

LADIES, 

It  is  with  pleasure  we,  your  board,  again  mee 
this  benevolent  society.  With  pleasure  we  announce 
the  success  of  the  Institution — its  funds,  its  usefulness, 
and  its  respectability  increase.  We  have  on  the  books 
two  hundred  and  seventy-four  annual  subscribers,  thir- 
ty-nine more  than  at  last  meeting. 

The  Treasurer  has  received  three  hundred  and  thir- 
ty dollars  from  ladies,  in  donations,  and  from  gentlemen, 
six  hundred  and  seventeen  dollars,  nearly  double  what 
they  gave  us  last  year.  Your  managers  have  expended 
eight  hundred  and  twenty  dollars  since  last  meeting, 
not  quite  five  months.  Perhaps  tin's  may  surprise 
you,  but  there  was  no  avoiding  it.  Though  the  win- 
ter has  been  mild,  and  the  price  of  wood  moderate,  the 
wants  of  the  poor  have  been  more  pressing  than  in  for- 
mer years.  We  have  on  our  books  one  hundred  and 
forty-two  widows,  with  four  hundred  and  six  children 
below  twelve  years  of  age,  by  far  the  greater  part  be- 
low six  ;  besides  many  boys  bound  apprentices,  for 
whom  their  mothers  must  wash,  mend,  and  provide  part 
clothing.  Though  the  sum  expended  appears  great, 
you  will  find,  on  calculation,  that  it  is  not  quite  six  dol- 
lars to  each  family.  Yet,  by  prudent  management, 
giving  it  to  them  by  little  and  little,  and  in  necu.^a/ics, 
nourishing,  yet  cheap,  it  went  further  titan  twice  tlie 


396  ADDRESSES. 

sum  given  in  money,  and  at  once.  Besides,,  in  cordials 
for  the  sick,  and  exigencies  of  different  kinds,  jour 
managers  have  begged,  and  taken  from  their  own 
pockets  and  pantries,  (f  speak  within  bounds  when  I 
say)  to  the  amount  of  two  hundred  dollars  more.  Most 
of  our  widows  have  to  learn  economy  from  ne- 
cessity :  in  the  days  of  their  husbands  they  liyed  not 
only  plentifully,  but  luxuriously.  Every  class  of  me- 
chanics in  New- York  could  live  well  and  lay  up  for 
their  families,  were  they  frugal ;  but  the  reverse  of  this 
is  the  case — the  evil  is  general,  and,  I  fear,  not  to  be 
cured.  The  change  to  their  widows  greatly  aggra- 
vates their  misery — well  may  they  read  their  sin 
in  their  punishment,  when  meagre  want  overtakes 
them.  But  God  forgives,  and  so  ought  Ave  :  We^ 
who  have  so  much  to  be  forgiven,  yet  have  our  ne- 
cessaries, our  comforts,  and  even  our  luxuries  spared. 
To  US)  our  comfortable  dwellings,  cheerful  lires,  and 
convivial  parties,  give  to  winter  its  charms.  Alas,  for 
her !  the  new-made  widow !  to  whom  all  these  are  lost 
for  ever — to  her,  the  approach  of  winter  is  as  the  ap- 
proach of  death.  Accustomed  to  spread  the  board  by 
a  cheerful  fire-side,  to  welcome  the  companion  of  her 
heart  from  the  labours  of  the  day  to  bless  and  share 
the  social  meal,  provided  by  his  industry,  drest  with 
neatness  and  ingenuity,  rendered  savoury  by  health  and 
appetite,  and  heightened  in  its  relish  by  mutual  love ! 
The  witty  sayings  of  the  prattlers  are  repeated,  and 
the  news  of  the  household  exchanged  for  the.  news  of 
the  city.  The  little  ones  too  have  their  share  ;  they 
tell  the  father  the  exploits  of  the  day,  who  forgets  his 
fatigue,  and  dandles  them  by  turns  on  his  knee,-  while 
the  mother's  moistened  eyes  glisten  with  pleasure. 
Alas!  the  change  ! — Husband^father,  support,  provider. 


ADDRESSES.  397 

gone  for  ever !  The  setting  sun,  the  succeed-n^  twi- 
light, the  rattling  cars,  the  train  of  labourers,  an- 
nounce the  approach  of  evening,  when  many  boards  are 
spread,  many  husbands  return  to  bless  their  families; 
scarce  can  she  believe  that  he  is  not  in  the  crowd — 
fain  would  she  persuade  herself  that  she  has  been  in  a 
dream — fain  would  she  fancy  that  yonder  is  he.  Dark- 
ness pervades  the  earth ;  the  neighbouring  doors  shut 
in  the  happy  families ;  the  beaming  fires  illumine  the 
windows.  Back  she  staggers  to  her  dreary  dwelling, 
and  wakes  to  all  the  realities  of  her  widowed  state.  The 
once  cheerful  chimney  scarcely  emits  a  taper  blaze. 
Her  children  cry  for  bread,  but  her  empty  pantry  af- 
fords it  not.  Tired  nature  soon  brings  them  relief — 
they  sleep — they  forget.  Not  so  the  widowed  heart ; 
busy,  cruel  memory  calls  back  and  doubles  her  de- 
parted joys ;  comparison  doubles  also  her  present  mi- 
sery— every  avenue  to  hope  is  shut.  Her  big  swollen 
heart  would  burst  its  narrow  bounds,  but  for  a  gush  ot 
tears,  in  mercy  sent  to  give  it  vent.  The  deep-fetched 
sobs  wring  out  the  big  round  drops  in  blest  profusion, 
(who  can  say  the  luxury,)  till  glutted  with  grief,  she 
*inks  among  her  babes.  Time,  that  sorrow-healing 
balm,  softens  at  length  the  pungency  of  wo.  The 
sympathising  neighbours,  the  unrestrained  complaint 
and  tears,render  her  situation  familiar ;  the  wants  of  her 
children  urge  her  to  exertion  for  their  support.  Some 
sister-widow,  pensioner  on  your  bounty,  consoles  her 
with  the  news,  that  many  benevolent  hearts  have  united 
their  efforts  to  relieve  wants  like  hers.  Hope  steals 
in — she  listens — is  comforted,  plans  schemes  of  indus- 
try, and  exerts  herself  to  become  father  and  mother  to 
her  orphans. 

Many  such,  dear  Ladies,  have  eaten  of  your  bread, 


398  ADDRESSES. 

been  warmed  from  your  wood-yard,  clothed  from  your 
web — in  sickness  revived  by  your  cordials,  consoled  and 
soothed  by  your  Managers.  Blessed  office  ! — they  are 
your  agents,  Ladies ;  they  are  also  the  agents  of  your 
God,  by  whose  ministration  he  is  the  Father  of  the  fa- 
therless, the  Husband  of  the  widow,  the  strangers 
shield  and  orphan's  stay  Blessed  indeed  is  he  who 
considered!  the  poor — the  Lord  will  deliver  him  in  time 
of  trouble — the  Lord  will  preserve  and  keep  him  alive, 
he  shall  be  blessed  upon  the  earth  ;  the  Lord  will 
strengthen  him  in  the  bed  of  languishing,  and  make  all 
his  bed  in  sickness.  Yes,  blessed  they  who  consider 
the  poor,  who  devise  liberal  things  !  But  more  blessed 
still,  ye,  who,  like  the  good  Samaritan,  bind  up  their 
wounds,  pour  the  oil  and  wine  of  consolation  into  their 
bursting  hearts,  bring  them  to  your  homes,  and  share 
their  griefs  with  them — who  are  eyes  to  the  blind,  (eel 
to  the  lame,  and  make  the  widow's  heart  to  sing  for 
joy  !  May  the  blessing  of  them  who  are  ready  to  pe- 
rish come  upon  you — may  your  persons  be  accepted  in 
Christ ;  then  shall  a  reward  of  grace  accompany,  and 
follow  your  labours  of  love.'  May  you  be  blessed  in 
your  basket,  and  blessed  in  your  store — blessed  in  your 
going  out,  and  blessed  in  your  coming  in — -blessed  in 
life — blessed  in  death ;  and,  through  Christ  the  pur- 
chaser, blessed  with  the  inheritance  <$£  his  Saints? 
through  eternity. 


TO    THE    SAME. 


April,.  1806. 
It  is  with  increasing  pleasure,  ladies,  that  we  come 
forward,  year  after  year,  and.  report  that  the  Society 


ADDRESSES.  399 

prospers.  In  funds,  in  respectability,  and  most  of  all, 
in  usefulness,  it  continues  to  advance,  spreading  wider 
and  wider  its  salutary  influence.  Could  we  only  re- 
peat this  year,  as  formerly,  that  the  hungry  are  fed. 
the  naked  clothed,  the  sick  nursed,  provided  with  me- 
dicine and  cordials,  it  were  great,  considering  that  the 
late  epidemic  has  nearly  doubled  the  objects  of  the 
Society's  bounty ;  greatly  embarrassed  their  circumstan- 
ces, and  left  many  of  them  in  a  debilitated  state,  little 
able  for  labour.  There  are  now  on  the  Society's  books 
two  hundred  and  one  widows,  with  numerous  families. 

The  managers  have  expended  in  meal,  wood,  flan- 
nel, shoes,  &c.  giving  nothing  to  the  well,  but  neces- 
saries ;  for  the  sick  and  sickly,  meat,  fuel,  tea,  sugar, 
chocolate,  &c. ;  wine  and  porter  by  order  of  the  at- 
tending physician,  two  thousand  four  hundred  and 
fifty-eight  dollars  thirty  cents ;  besides  very  much  for 
the  sick  from  their  own  pantries,  having  it  cooked  in 
their  own  kitchens,  and  in  many  instances,  giving  daily 
personal  attendance. 

In  the  months  of  January  and  February,  employ- 
ment entirely  failed  them;  many  came  forward  at  that 
time,  who  had  not  asked  that  in  charity,  which  la- 
bour could  procure. 

-The  Secretary  has  informed  you  what  was  then 
done  for  their  relief.  Quantities  of  flax  were  given 
out  at  the  same  time  that  the  ladies  exerted  them- 
selves to  procure  work ;  yet,  in  little  more  than  a 
month,  all  was  cut  and  made  up  :  the  committee  was 
obliged  to  extend  the  sum  considerably. 

The  winter  is  now  past;  their  humble  dwellings 
though  long  threatened,  are  not  dismantled  ;  their  few 
necessaries,  and  some  remnants  of  happier  days,  bright 
and  clean,  are  still  in  their  possession ;  cheerful  spring 


400  ADDRESSES. 

opens  upon  them;  trade  begins  to  stir;  and  a  gleam 
of  hope  breaks  through  the  gloom,  that  they  and  their 
infants  may  yet  eat  their  morsel  at  their  own  fire-sides. 
Home  ! — who  can  tell  the  full  import  of  that  word, 
home?  will  not  the  reco  lection,  that  you  have  been 
instrumental  in  preserving  a  Home  to  these,  sweeten 
your  every  comfort,  and  soothe  your  heavy  hours  ? 

Besides  the  general  and  particular  good,  done  in 
the  dispensation  of  the  Society's  bounty,  much  misery 
has  been  meliorated  through  the  medium  of  its  mem- 
bers,  where,  by  its  constitution,  there  could  be  no  claim 
on  its  funds :  a  few  facts  will  prove  my  assertion.  An 
unfortunate  French  lady,  who,  with  one  infant,  had 
escaped  the  last  massacre  at  St.  Domingo,  was  brought 
to  New- York,  and  placed,  by  the  captain  of  the  ves- 
sel, in  a  low  boarding  house.  She  had  been  nine 
weeks  in  this  city,  unknown  and  unknowing ;  had  sold 
some  valuable  trinkets,  and  pawned  her  watch  to  paj 
her  board ;  when  she  was  found  by  one  of  the  mana- 
gers of  this  Society.  Mrs.  Hoffman  visited  her,  and 
by  means  of  her  numerous  acquaintance,  sought  out 
her  countrymen,  got  her  history,  character,  and  cir- 
cumstances ascertained,  and  raised  by  subscription  two 
hundred  dollars;  furnished  her  with  decent  clothing 
suitable  to  the  climate,  and  she  is  now  in  a  comfortable 
situation.  -;  - 

On  every  hand,  and  all  around,  groans  human  mise- 
ry; and  Hope,  the  last  to  desert  the  wretched,  points 
from  every  quarter  her  votaries  to  this  Society. 

Mrs.  C — ,  a  inost  interesting  character,  and  of  su- 
perior mind,  not  only  an  unfortunate,  but  an  injured, 
person,  without  hope  of  redress,  broken  in  spirits, 
and  broken  in  health — was  reduced,  with  her  only 
child*  to  seek  an  asylum   in'  the  Aims-House;    her 


ADDRESSES.  401 

story  was  related  in  the  board  of  this  Society.  Mrs. 
Hammond,  one  of  the  managers,  took  her  into  her 
own  family,  and  nursed  her  with  the  greatest  tender- 
ness for  many  weeks;  but  health  did  not  return.  Her 
only  chance  for  life,  was  her  native  air,  (Ireland,)  and 
she  had  there  relations  capable  of  supporting  her. 
Mrs.  R — ,  another  of  the  Society's  managers,  set  her 
face  to  the  arduous  task  of  raising  a  subscription  to 
defray  her  expenses  home.  She  succeeded  not  only 
to  procure  a  passage  for  her  and  her  child,  but  in 
the  cabin,  furnished  with  every  necessary,  and  even 
with  delicacies. 

Mrs.  R — ,  one  of  the  Society's  widows,  and  her 
daughter,  were  ill  of  the  yellow  fever  at  the  same  time, 
in  the  same  room,  and  in  the  same  bed ;  the  girl  died, 
and,  by  the  rude  hands  of  the  herse  driver,  was  put  in 
a  coffin  before  the  mothers  eyes,  and  carried  out. 
The  mother  became  distracted  to  that  degree,  that 
she  was  obliged  to  be  carried  to  the  hospital,  and  con- 
fined in  one  of  the  cells.  While  in  her  own  house,  every 
effort  had  been  made  to  alleviate  her  distress,  and  re- 
store her.  She  was  now  given  up  to  another  Benevo- 
lent Society,  where,  to  intrude  might  be  deemed  im- 
proper. Was  she  then  deserted  ?  did  no  friendly- 
voice  salute  her  ear  in  her  solitary  cell  ?  was  no  at- 
tempt made  to  turn  her  visionary  flights  of  despair  into 
the  soothing  channel  of  hope  ?  Yes,  ladies,  yes.  Mrs. 
S — ,  her  neighbour,  acted  in  concert  with  Mrs.  Mills, 
her  manager,  and  visited  her  often ;  both  exerted  their 
utmost  ingenuity  to  prepare  for  her  clothing  of  such 
a  texture  and  make,  as  should  elude  her  attempt 
tear.  The  last  time  I  saw  her  was  in  the  month  oi 
December ;  the  ground  was  covered  with  snow, 
the  air  piercing  cold.     When  the  keeper  opened  the 

:i  E 


102  ADDRESSES. 

door  of  her  cell,  I  held  out  my  hand — but  such  a  hand 
grasped  mine — that  clay  will  not  be  colder,  when  laid 
in  its  last  bed.  She  flew  past  me  to  the  fire,  uif-tS 
by  instinct,  though  deserted  by  reason.  She  asked 
Mrs.  S —  for  her  dead  child,  and  begged  she  would 
take  her  home  to  live  in  her  yard.  But  it  is  not  ne- 
cessary thus  to  harrow  up  your  feelings.  I  left  her, 
convinced  she  could  never  recover  there ;  and  without 
a  hope  of  bettering  her  situation.  Not  so,  the  dear 
ladies  I  have  named;  they  rested  not  until  they  had 
provided  a  place,  a  nurse  to  attend  her,  and  every 
comfort  her  situation  could  admit  of.  She  had  been 
five  weeks  in  the  Hospital,  when  she  was  removed ; 
fifteen  weeks  she  was  at  private  board ;  during  which 
time  she  recovered  daily.  She  is  now  at  her  own 
home,  in  the  bosom  of  her  family,  perfectly  restored 
to  reason,  and  recovering  health  daily. 

Let  us  now  turn  to  a  brighter  scene,  for  the  God  of 
providence  has  not  withheld  from  us  our  pleasant! 
things.  Every  year  he  opens  some  new  channel  of 
usefulness,  and  hearts  expand  to  embrace  the  opportu- 
nity. The  Society  has  always  been  industrious  in  Si- 
ling  up  every  vacancy  in  the  different  Charity  Schools, 
and  have  got  a  great  number  provided  among  them, 
whose  parents  were  members  of  no  Church ;  still  a  very 
<rreat  number  remained  without  the  means  of  educa- 
tion. Idleness  is  the  mother  of  vice,  and  the  Society 
had  reason  to  apprehend,  and  indeed  to  observe,  that 
many  were  already  initiated,  and  to  fear  that  many 
more  would,  before  its  funds  were  in  a  situation  to  pre- 
vent it.  k  But  our  gracious  God,  who  has  well  verified 
his  promise,  ask,  and  ye  shall  receive,  appeared  in  this 
also;  and  our  dear  Mrs.  Hoffman,  whose  labours  this 
wuner  have  been  indefatigable,  was  made  the  honoured 


ADDRESSES.  403 

instrument.  She  collected  seventy  dollars  for  the  ex- 
press purpose  of  supporting  a  school ;  and  emboldened 
by  this  unremitting  success,  and  presuming  on  the  con- 
tinued benefaction  of  the  public,  the  Society  placed 
twenty-two  children  at  school,  fourteen  with  Mrs.  L — , 
and  eight  with  Mrs.  C — .  They  are  both  the  So- 
ciety's widows,  so  that  a  double  end  is  gained. 

Some  members  of  the  Society  conversing  on  the 
subject,  were  expressing  their  thankfulness  for  this  pro- 
vision, indulging  their  hopes,  and  sometimes  their  fears, 
respecting  those  still  unprovided  for,  when  a  young 
Lady  in  the  company  made  the  following  proposal, 
That  herself,  and  as  many  more  as  should  find  their 
hearts  so  disposed,  should  associate  for  the  purpose  of 
teaching  a  select  number  of  little  girls,  a  certain  num- 
ber of  hours  every  forenoon.  The  patroness  of  the 
school  was  fired  with  zeal,  and  remitted  not  her  ex- 
ertions till  she  had  obtained  the  end.  On  Saturday, 
the  17th  of  February,  thirty  young  Ladies  had  given 
in  their  names,  and  met  Mrs.  Hoffman  and  myself  at 
Mr.  Ogden  Hoffman's,  Wall-street,  for  the  purpose  of 
being  organized. 

What  a  sight!  From  families,  in  rank  the  first  in 
the  city,  in  the  very  bloom  of  life,  and  full  of  its  pros- 
pects, engaged  in  those  amusements  which  fascinate 
and  engross  the  mind,  tending  in  general  to  shut  out 
every  idea  unconnected  with  self!  A  society  of  young 
Ladies  in  these  circumstances,  coming  forward,  and 
offering  their  own  personal  services,  to  snatch  these 
little  innocents  from  idleness,. ignorance,  and  vice — to 
teach  them  to  know  their  Father,  God ;  to  tell  them  of 
a  Saviour's  love ;  to  point  out  the  example  he  set,  the 
precepts  he  recorded  for  their  observance,  and  his  pro- 
mises for  their  comfort,  and  by  teaching  them  to  read, 


404  ADDRESSES. 

enable  them  to  retrace  all  their  instructions  when  their 
eyes  should  see  them  no  more. 

This  indeed  is  a  Labour  of  Love,  as  superior  to  the 
institution  which  gave  it  birth,  as  the  interest  of  the 
soul  is  to  that  of  the  body. 

Let  us,  Ladies,  yield  the  palm  of  excellence,  and  give 
them  the  praise.  Many  daughters  have  done  virtuously, 
but  these  have  excelled  them  all.  Favour  is  deceitful,  and 
beauty  is  vain,  but  a  woman  thatfeareth  the  Lord,  she  shall 
be  praised. 

Mrs.  Hoffman  and  myself  have  visited  the  school 
every  Saturday,  with  the  two  who  finish  their  week's 
attendance,  and  the  two  to  commence  the  week  fol- 
lowino\  It  is  with  delight  we  can  assure  you  the  chil- 
dren make  rapid  improvement.  We  also  visit  the  other 
schools,  and  can  report  that  they  also  give  us  satisfac- 
tion. 

Years  and  seasons  roll  on — the  wheel  of  Providence 
keeps  turning,  bringing  round  great  revolutions  in  the* 
world,  smaller  in  narrower  societies,  and  changes  in 
the  lot  of  individuals,  all  equally  under  the  direction  of 
'  the  great  Maker  and  Governor  of  the  universe,  who 
rules  in  the  armies  of  Heaven,  and  among  theanhabitants  of 
this  world. 


On  opening  a  School  for  poor  children  ;  addressed  to  the 
Teachers  who  volunteered  their  services. 

MY  DEAR  YOUNG 'LADIES, 

Every  thing  new  becomes  matter  of  specula- 
lion,  and  variety  of  opinion. 

An  association  of  ladies  for  the   relief  of  destitute 


ADBRESSES.  405 

widows  and  orphans,  was  a  new  thing  in  this  country. 
It  was  feeble  in  its  origin ;  the  jest  of  most,  the  ridi- 
cule of  many,  and  it  met  the  opposition  of  not  a  few. 
The  men  could  not  allow  our  sex  the  steadiness  and 
perseverance  necessary  to  establish  such  an  undertak- 
ing. But  God  put  his  seal  upon  it;  and  under  his 
fostering  care,  it  has  prospered  beyond  the  most  san- 
guine expectations  of  its  propagators.  Its  fame  is 
spread  over  the  United  States,  and  celebrated  in  fo- 
reign countries.  It  has  been  a  precedent  to  many 
cities,  who  have  followed  the  laudable  example. 
This  fame  is  not  more  brilliant  than  just.  The 
hungry  are  fed,  the  naked  are  clothed,  and  shelter 
is  provided  for  the  outcasts;  medicine  and  cordials 
for  the  sick,  and  the  soothing  voice  of  sympathy 
cheers  the  disconsolate.  Who  are  the  authors  of 
all  these  blessings  ?  Your  mothers,  ladies,  the  be- 
nevolent members  of  this,  so  justly  famed  Socie- 
ty. But,  who  are  these  children,  that  idly  ramble 
through  the  streets,  a  prey  to  growing  depravity  and 
vicious  example  ?  hark  !  they  quarrel,  they  swear, 
and  such,  no  doubt,  will  lie  and  steal.  And  that 
group  of  dear  little  creatures,  running  about  in  the 
most  v:ninent  danger,  apparently  without  protection : 
are  they  under  the  care  of  this,  so  justly  famed  So- 
ciety? They  are ! — They  are  fed,  they  are  clothed, 
their  mothers'  fire-side  is  made  warm  for  them ;  but, 
no  culture  is  provided  for  their  minds,  nor  protection 
from  baneful  example.  These  will  in  time  follow  that 
of  the  older  ones,  and  grow  up  the  slaves  of  idlcn< 
and  vice,  the  certain  road  to  ruin. 

Alas  !  alas  !  and  is  there  no  help  ?  no  preventive  ? 
Yes,  there  is  !  Behold  the  angelic  band  !  hail,  ye 
virtuous  daughters  !  worthy  of  your  virtuous  mothers  ! 


406  ADDRESSES, 

come  forward  and  tread  in  their  steps !  Snatch  these 
little  innocents  from  the  whirling  vortex ;  bring  them 
to  a  place  of  safety ;  teach  them  to  know  their  Fa- 
ther, God  :  tell  them  of  their  Saviour's  love ;  lead  them 
through  the  history  of  his  life ;  mark  to  them  the  ex- 
ample he  set,  the  precepts  he  recorded  for  their  ob- 
servance, and  the  promises  for  their  comfort.  And  by 
teaching  them  to  read,  enable  them  to  retrace  all  your 
instructions,  when  their  eyes  see  you  no  more. 

My  dear  young  ladies,  the  sacrifice  you  have  made 
to  virtue,  shall  most  assuredly  meet  its  reward :  but, 
like  your  mothers,  you  will  experience  much  painful 
banter,  you  will  be  styled  school-madams.  Let  it 
pass — suffer  it  quietly ;  when  your  scheme  begins  to 
ripen,  and  the  fruits  appear,  who  shall  be  able  to 
withhold  their  praise  ?  Only  be  steadfast,  draw  not 
back,  and  justify  the  prophecies  of  many. 

A  great  general,  in  ancient  times,  in  search  of 
glory,  landed  his  troops  on  the  hostile  coast,  and  then 
burnt  all  his  ships  :  it  behooved  them  to  conquer  or  die. 
You  have,  ladies,  already  embarked  in  this ,  design; 
there  is  no  remaining  neuter  now ;  your  names  and 
undertaking  are  in  every  mouth;  youmust'press  forward 
and  justify  your  cause;  and  justified  it  shall  be,  if  you  per- 
severe :  it  cannot  be  otherwise.  The  benevolence  you 
contemplate,  is  as  superior  to  that  already  in  circula- 
tion, as  the  interest  of  the  soul  is  to  that  of  the  body ; 
and  it  is  your  own;  the  very  scheme  originated  in  a 
young  mind  in  this  company.  The  Society  were  con- 
templating mercenary  agents;  schools  for  pay,  and 
one  is  already  established. 

But  this  labour  of  love !  who  could  have  hoped  for 
it?  A  Society  of  young  ladies,  in  rank,  the- first  in 
the  city,    in  the  very  bloom   of   life,  and  full  of  its. 


ADDRESSES.  407 

prospects,  engaged  in  those  pleasures  and  amusements, 
which  generally  engross  the  mind,  and  shut  out  every 
idea  unconnected  with  self,  coming  forward  and  offer- 
ing— what?  not  their  purses,  that  were  trash:  but, 
their  own  personal  services  to  instruct  the  ignorant, 
and  become  the  saviours  of  many  of  their  sex.  It  is 
indeed  a  new  thing,  and  more  strange  in  this  age  of 
dissipation,  than  that  institution  from  which  it  sprung. 
O  may  this  too  become  the  darling  of  Providence  ! 
may  God  put  his  seal  upon  this  also  !  may  he  bless  and 
prosper  you  in  this  undertaking !  bless  you,  and  make 
you  a  blessing] 


408 


Extract  from  the  concluding  part  of  Mrs.  Graham's  last 
Will  and  Testament. 

"  My  children  and  my  grand-children  I  leave  to  my 
covenant  God :  the  God  who  hath  fed  me  all  my  life, 
with  the  bread  that  perisheth,  and  the  bread  that 
never  perisheth;  who  has  been  a  Father  to  my  father- 
less children,  and  a  Husband  to  their  widowed  mother 
thus  far.  And  now,  receiving  my  Redeemer's  testi- 
mony, John  iii.  I  set  to  my  seal  that  God  is  true;  and 
believing  the  record  in  John's  Epistle,  that  God  hath 
given  to  me  eternal  life,  and  this  life  is  in  his  Son,  who 
through  the  eternal  Spirit,  offered  himself  without  spot 
unto  God,  and  being  consecrated  a  priest  for  ever, 
hath,  with  his  own  blood,  entered  into  the  holy  place,' 
having  obtained  eternal  redemption  for  me  !  I  also  be- 
lieve that  he  will  perfect  what  concerns  me,  support, 
and  carry  me  safely  through  death,  and  present  me  to  his 
Father,  complete  in  his  own  righteousness,  without 
spot  or  wrinkle.  Into  the  hands  of  this  redeeming 
God — Father,  Son,  and  Holy  Ghost,  I  commit  my  re- 
deemed spirit." 


409 
LINES 

ON  THE  DECEASE  OF  MRS.  GRAHAM 


Hark  !  did  I  hear  the  tolling  bell 

Emit  a  sound  of  wo  ! 
It  sighs  along  the  wind,  to  tell 

That  Death  has  struck  a  blow : 

And  could  it  sound  the  valued  name 

Of  her,  who  low  is  laid ; 
And  say,  'tis  Isabella  Graham, 

The  poor  would  feel  dismay'd. 

Her  love  was  ardent  to  her  God, 
His  precepts  touch'd  her  heart, 

And  thence  the  stream  of  mercy  flow'd, 
Rich  blessings  to  impart. 

Struck  with  the  grace  that  Jesus  show'd, 

For  guilty  man  to  die  ; 
She  felt  the  weight  of  debt  she  owed, 

His  name  to  glorify. 

Her  ardent  step  was  wont  to  seek 

Affliction's  narrow  door ; 
And  entering  there,  she  lov'd  to  speak 

In  mercy  to  the  poor  : 
3F 


HO  LINES  ON  THE  DECEASE 

With  sympathy  she  heard  their  tale, 
And  brought  her  comforts  nigh  ; 

But  most  of  all,  would  never  fail 
To  lead  their  thoughts  on  high. 

The  orphan's  innocence  would  melt 
Her  feeling  heart  to  tears  ; 

And  even  those  defil'd  with  guilt, 
Had  int'rest  in  her  pray'rs. 

Her  active  mind,  with  wisdom  stor'd, 
Beheld  the  widow's  grief, 

And  form'd  such  plans  as  might  afford 
The  destitute  relief. 

The  thoughtful  habits  of  her  soul 
Had  o'er  her  face  prevail'd ; 

Her  features  wore  the  soft  controul 
Of  charity  conceal'd. 

From  early  youth,  to  good  old  age. 

She  lived  a  life  of  faith : 
The  comforts  of  the  sacred  page, 

Upheld  her  soul  in  death. 

And  is  that  form  to  move  no  more, 
That  cloth'd  a  soul  of  love  ? 

The  wings  of  faith  that  spirit  bore 
To  realms  of  bliss  above. 

.She's  gone !  who  fill'd  th'  admiring  eye, 

And  gain'd  the  throbbing  heart  ; 
The  daughter  of  philanthropy 
Was  summon'd  to  depart : 


OF  MRS.  GRAHAM.  411 


But  she  has  left  a  light  behind, 
To  gild  the  waste  of  wo, 

And  lead  the  efforts  of  mankind 
New  blessings  to  bestow. 


FINIS. 


J 


DATE  DUE 


5  1981 


J 


